Guest Post: Passionate Pursuit of Failure

amanda timminsRecently one of our readers wrote an essay paper for her University Anthropology class about being inspired by the Social Dynamics Movement. This woman is one, now, driven to be more than mediocre. Amanda Timmins brings her creative energy to Kingpin Lifestyle as a tribute to her growth. Listen to Amanda’s voice as she encourages you to pursue the lifestyle you’ve always wanted to live.

Enter Amanda…

John Lennon once said, “When I was 5 years old, my Mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life”. I had hoped that after all of the thought I’ve put into that simple quote that I would have something inspirational to say following it. However, I quit my job yesterday and just haven’t felt the same since. Due to the indifference that has fallen over me, I cannot persuade myself to put words onto a page, especially when I cannot convince myself of the importance buried within those words. And if I cannot convince myself, how in the world am I supposed to convince you?

I mentioned I quit my job. It made me miserable, so I felt it was a good decision at the time. Since then though, I’m not entirely certain of anything. I’ve been reading a lot lately, something to bide my time with. A friend of mine is a writer for an incredibly motivating company that specializes in relationship building, whatever that means. Their whole philosophy revolves around the betterment of the self. I used to choke on the inescapable repulsion I felt every time I saw mushy disgusting quotes that were dripping with self improvement pop up on my newsfeed. Then I read an article, and another, followed by another. As it turns out they were actually pretty good. In his articles, my friend discusses his mentality towards life events, relationship experience and how much his life has changed since he began pursuing and actively participating in writing – his biggest passion. However, it was in one article specifically that caught my attention and really struck home with me. In the article “The Psychology of Winning” he said, “My ‘Always-Win’ mentality is – in other words – a ‘Scared-Of-Losing’ mentality”. Wow. Here is my high school friend giving advice and insights without even realizing the impact they have on others. Better yet, he wasn’t doing it for the money but because he truly loves what he does. Impressive to see a woman-eating-bartender become so philosophically stimulating. Even more nerve racking is the implication that had in my life. Here I was, sitting in my pyjamas, moping about my frustrations while eating my feelings. How inspirational.

d-fectHere’s where the story gets interesting. I got off the couch – NO WAY! I realized that sometimes in life, there are things worth pursuing, but it wasn’t going to happen sitting on my couch watching reruns of television shows I don’t even like. Wait, back up a bit. I missed the best part. After smothering myself in ice cream and motivational articles, I went to a party. Not just any party: I attended an event hosted by my inspirational friend and his merry band of encouragers. A mutual friend was performing and we all turned up to show support. I learned a lot that night, which was unusual given the circumstance. I conversed with some of these people who turned out to be surprisingly ordinary – just a bunch of guys who want to make a difference. I took a particular interest in the performer – an up and coming hip hop artist and entrepreneur who goes by D-Fect. To sum it up in a simple phrase, he is spectacular! Originally, I would have meant that strictly due to his musical talents, but, things change, as they say.

D-Fect kindly took the time to enlighten me, and such a bright light it was. Through personal communications, I learned that one’s purpose in life cannot be for monetary gain. If you love what you do and are dedicated to it, the money comes. “I think the biggest reason I do what I love is for quality of life. I believe the way you do something is the way you do everything. If you settle for a job just for the money, then you settle for everything in your life, which is flawed. I feel because I didn’t settle for anything but what I love to do, then I found myself not settling for anything. Music, relationships, even the food I ate. I considered my time very valuable because I was doing what I love to do”.

My knowledge and my life completely changed at the moment. Everything I’d read as of late came together in an incredible bout of clarity. I had been going about this – life – in the completely wrong state of mind. Up to and until that point, I had thought that there were certain obstacles in life that are insurmountable at particular times. The thought process had always been that one’s mentality dictates one’s life, not the other way around. Now here it was being thrown at me that people do not have to settle for whatever menial existence life allows them simply because it is easy. If one has the will to fight, one can achieve… anything. What a concept! But hang on one second. It can’t be that simple, can it?

The resounding reply was “Of course not”. D-Fect continued to shed some light on the issue of struggles. Ranging from internal and external personal conflicts to the plausibility and practicality of pursuing a passion, I learned that there will always be obstacles. However, that is not to say that mountains cannot be climbed. Sometimes it is the scrapes and bruises that we have to show for our most prized experiences. Scars, whether metaphorical or literal, provide a roadmap of the life that we have led as individuals, and it is not without injury that we escape our lively journeys. Everyone encounters problems, has the not-so-occasional wrench thrown into their plan. It is, of course, not the obstacle itself that we face that determines our strength, but it is how we choose to face and resolve these issues that dictates our characters.

Overall, quitting my job was the best decision I could have made, for I have grown so much simply by acquiring a new perspective. I realized that we are the product of our choices and that the only person in the entire world capable of derailing or creating our lives the way we want is, in point of fact, ourselves. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t just want to see where life takes me; I want to see where I take life. It doesn’t matter what you’re passionate about or for how long that enthusiasm persists so long as each and every person incorporates his or her passion into daily life. Although pursuing activities of enjoyment can be frustrating, stressful and, emotionally destabilizing at times, the resulting happiness far outweighs the struggle. After all, it is what we have to work for that we appreciate the most in life. They say what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. I say make the effort: pursue your goals, passions and dreams. Find the motivation, the inspiration and the ambition to achieve the lifestyle your heart desires. What’s the worst that could happen? You could fail, thereby obtaining more experience-related cuts and bruises and knowing what to do better next time. On the other hand, who knows; one day those long-lost aspirations could become your reality.


  1. Great post Amanda! 🙂 Very inspiring

    I wish I was in town to have met you that night but I look forward to seeing you in the future!

  2. Thank you so much for reading, and giving me feedback!! I was quite nervous about having something of my own open for public viewing but so far the response has been very positive. Thank you again, it means a lot.

    : )

  3. I love this article, Amanda and thanks for this!

    I only have beef with this monetary gain idea. Being dedicated to something doesn’t make you money and neither does your passion for it. A major purpose in my life is monetary gain. That, sex and spiritual realization. But no matter how passionate I am about having sex with beautiful women or how spiritually enlightened I become, no one is going to pay me or want to give me money proportionate to my passion and love. I hope we can all accept that it’s okay to have making money as an intention without sacrificing quality of life. I’m sure neither Cam or any of the guys would spend their time teaching social dynamics if they weren’t getting paid. Think about it.

    Much love!

  4. Camil, thank you so much for commenting. I appreciate opposing view points as creative criticism which can be incredibly helpful.

    My point in this article is that money shouldn’t run your world. I have seen plenty of people in my life that follow their passions and end up getting paid for doing what they love. My dad, myself, and the gentlemen mentioned in this article are but a few examples. It does take time, and a certain amount of dedication in order to make that happen though. I will concede that there are certain things in life that being paid for isn’t necessarily a good thing, for it may compromise other things of importance, such a personal values or morals.

    However, there are billions of people in this world. I’m quite sure that every single of them have at least one passion that could make them happy, even if it doesn’t get them paid. The biggest idea I wanted to portray is that doing something you love simply because it makes you happy is something that every individual should incorporate into their daily lives.

    Money is great and all but it isn’t everything. And we certainly cannot buy the most important things in life.

    Thank you again for pointing out that perhaps a bit of elaboration was in order.


  5. Great post Amanda! “And I don’t know about you, but I don’t just want to see where life takes me; I want to see where I take life.” is my favourite part.

  6. Camil: I disagree that we wouldn’t be teaching social dynamics if we weren’t getting paid for it. The amount of free coaching we all give out is actually ridiculously high. Back when you first met me, spending 4-6 hours on the phone EVERY NIGHT was a daily occurrence, talking to students and helping them out, all free of charge.

    The point is, the message of Social Dynamics will and has always come first for Kingpin Social. The business side will always come second. In fact, if you want to learn our whole philosophy (up to the date the book was released in September) free of charge, you can by downloading our ebook here on the blog. The concepts and ideas in that book will easily change the persons life who reads it, and it doesn’t cost them a dime. Not only that, but there’s over 200 posts on this blog detailing various Social Dynamics concepts and theories in detail, including how to apply it to your own life.

    We also host a bi-weekly event called IDI (Ideas Developing Ideas), where we invite anybody that wants to come to discuss ideas they have, social dynamics concepts, or just to meet and network with a ton of awesome people who are passionate about growth. This event is also free. In fact, anybody that wants to sit down with us any time, any where, we are happy to do it, for free.

    Money comes into play only when people want our full and undivided attention to coach them on how they can apply these concepts to themselves personally, in their own life. When someone pays me for my coaching, I know they are that much more serious about it, and because of that, I tend to also take the same seriousness into play with my attention and focus.

    At the end of the day, there are many people who hang out around the Kingpin Crew consistently and for great lengths of time, who get coached free of charge. The ironic thing is regardless of how much time someone spends around us, or how much free coaching they get, they always come around and want to pay us for additional coaching for one simple reason: the coaching makes a significant difference in your life, period. It doesn’t matter if someone is successful or still trying to figure it out, social dynamics will change their life.

    I have many people who I have coached for free for YEARS, because the message of social dynamics is too important to keep to myself. It’s a disservice to not help people looking for help.

  7. I believe that Social Dynamics has the potential to evolve the world in a way that is missing in today’s Society. I am simply happy to be a member of a team leading the movement.

  8. Eloquently put, Mikey and Cam. Just goes to show one can learn something new everyday if the desire is there. Thank you both for providing further insight into KPS. Keep up the good work, gents 🙂

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