Why She’s Not A Bitch.

“Yo man, she looks like a total bitch, I don’t wanna talk to her,” your bro says.

You’re sitting at a patio having quality “bro-time” on a gorgeous summer day. 25 degrees celcius. You and your bro are getting your tan on. Relaxed tank top, rolled up jeans and fresh pair of kicks. You two are laughing about how silly last weekend was. “High fives!”

You take a sip of your drink. Vodka soda, crushed mint leaves with a twist of lime. Delicious.

Sniff. Sniff. Her scent signals her arrival. The intoxicating smell of spring flowers lingers in the air; both of you turn your heads. You’re thinking, “Where is this scent coming from?”

Cutie strutting down at 3 o’ clock. There she is — game time.

So here’s the stats: Blonde hair. Piercing blue eyes. Tanned skin. A body that resembles a Coca-cola bottle draped in a slinky, low-cut, floral summer dress that flows half way down her legs. Your bro’s mouth is left open. Both of you pull down your Ray-Bans to get a better view of the scenery, praying to Mother Nature for a strong wind to blow by.

Kinda like a Marilyn Monroe poster. Naa mean?

Marilyn Monroe

You nudge your bro by the elbow. “Go ahead and bust out your favorite line,” you say. He pouts and shakes his head. He replies,“For sure she’s a bitch. Look at her.” That was the final nail in the coffin. He doesn’t want to get up and talk to her. Oddly enough, she doesn’t look like a bitch. Not even close. She’s smiling and she actually looks really friendly.

“Dude, is she really a bitch? How do you know that?” I ask.

Fellas, does it feel better to hate on a beautiful girl than to challenge your assumptions? Is it easier to say she’s a snob and not approach than to learn the actual skill set to go up to her?  Are you scared that you might be wrong and she’s actually a cool chick? Do you have this fear that, even if you had a chance in hell that she might like you, you don’t think you’re interesting enough to keep her around?

As men, we’ve been biologically selected over millions of years to focus on fertile females. Babes. Our fascination for checking out hot girls is ingrained in our genetics and manly circuit board. It is a fact that the attraction to an hourglass figure – large breasts, small waist, flat stomach and full hips – is prewired in all dudes, across all cultures. This shape tells the mating brain that she’s young, healthy, and probably not pregnant with another man’s child.

So what do you do?

Oddly enough, most of the really hot girls I’ve approached with my favorite line turned out to be really friendly people. They appreciate it more because they don’t get approached that often. Weird, huh? What’s the worst that can happen anyway?

Say you get blown out. Did she actually reject you? Nope. She probably rejected the way you approach. Why? You were weird and you were stuttering, bro. Even though you’re nervous, that’s fine! It’s completely understandable. Rejection is hardwired to feel like death for most people because back in the day, it was. The consequences were more severe when you did stupid shit. Rejection from the tribe meant you were gonna get kicked out to butt-fuck-nowhere. Now you’re left to fend for all your basic needs by yourself. It sounds like a legitimate excuse, right?

Here’s what I suggest: act on your emotions anyway. She’s gonna be really impressed. Why? Because this foreshadows how you’re going to be in the future if she stays with you. By doing this, you explicitly show her that you’re going to pull through a tough decision, regardless of how you feel. You go for what you want, and girls think that’s hot. Your life has a solid direction and she’ll feel more inclined to partake in it.

Okay, so maybe I fucked up. That babe in the summer dress was rude, obnoxious and a total bitch! Ooops! My bad, bro! But who cares, anyway? No one’s laughing at you! Go back and high five your buddy and get another drink. It makes for a funny story at the very least.


  1. Sorry. Double post up in here. Fat fingers on a Droid screen. Anyways: i fall in this trap. Its not that I thinks hottie might be a bitch but that she will be intolerant of yet another guy coming up to her to hit on her. I shouldn’t rationalize like this but I get caught thinking she probably has some sort of higher value men posse already courting the hell out of her.

  2. Thanks for the comment KTQ. I think an important concept to deal with this is making decisions based on Facts not Assumptions. You have no idea whether she’s a bitch, intolerant of another guy approaching her, or super friendly. The only way to find out is to go find out for yourself. Searching for answers without approaching isn’t the path to finding that answer.

    When I started basing my decisions off facts instead of assumptions it made a big difference in my life. Hope that helps. 🙂

  3. Cam – “When I started basing my decisions off facts instead of assumptions it made a big difference in my life.”

    I agree, assumptions are something everyone has, and facts are the facts that’s been has been proven before and I don’t think you can change that unless a fact will change it self – no matter how small or big the fact is – its always going to be on your side!

    Assumption in other words is something that everyone can assume on – based on anything – its a lesser value then a fact but no doubt about it in my mind its powerful as well but not as much as facts – that’s for sure. Everyone can assume something in them – at the end the fact(s) win.


    Assumption < Fact = You assume something and then you stumble on the fact – which you can't change (I told you before) unless fact changes itself by people for it to be therefor.

    PS. I hope I make sense 😉

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