There she is. Your ideal girl; she’s 5’10, brunette and has that soccer player body that flips your attraction switches. Her tight True Religion jeans paired with the tank top resting on mid breast compliment her figure nicely. The way she swings her hips instantly turns you on.
Why don’t you go talk to her?
“I don’t know what to say!”
This is the single worst problem when first getting into the art of Social Dynamics. I remember nights where I would go out without preparing myself and I’d walk up to these girls and try to say something, but I had nothing to say. I’d look like a retard and they would walk away.
The purpose of an opener is to start a conversation. That being said, it doesn’t matter what your opener is. The importance lies on what you say after the opener. Nonetheless, if this is your first rodeo, you must first learn what to say to start the conversation. There will be another article on what to say after you open. You’re not going to get a conversation going unless you start it.
So how do you start it?
I remember nights where I would go out and not know what to say at first. I developed a system that works and I’m going to share it with you.
Before I get into how this system works and how it will work for you, I need to tell you that persistence is key. When approaching women for the first time, you must understand that it is a skill and, like any skill, it takes time and no one will be consistent right away. At first delivering these openers will seem a bit weird. This is only because you’ve never tried this before. Once you memorize the lines and try them a couple of times they will start to become effortless and you will see success because of it. Let’s get to the content.
The most important part of opening is that it must be congruent to you. The words that are coming out of your mouth must reflect the personality you possess. If you ride motorcycles for a living and love random orgies with multiple women you probably shouldn’t open asking “what a woman looks for when searching for a relationship.” It won’t make sense, you won’t care, and an interesting conversation will not develop. If you want to open and create an interesting conversation out of nothing than you’ve got to talk about YOUR topics of interest.
The next part is very important.
If you know that the opener (conversation starter) must be congruent to your raw image, than how will you find those openers on the forums?
Sure, you can search the forums and find openers that will work with relative success. You might even find a couple openers that, whenever you use them, interesting conversation develops. These openers are not you, and you will see moderate, inconsistent success with them. The purpose of this article is for you to develop consistent success with any opener you use.
Create your own openers. How do you do this? Let’s think. The opener must be congruent to you. You can’t look for openers that are congruent to your personality on community forums, because community forums speak to the masses. You must create openers for yourself. In order to do this I’m going to outline how I made this work for me.
I’m 6’0, half white, half black, and I rock a Mohawk. When I first started out I remember I would write down anything that interested me and I would go out and talk about it. This is my system.
One of my countless nights out in my first couple months I was looking for a shirt wear to the club. I went through my friend’s closet and saw a bright green Adidas shirt with the word “Irish” in the middle. I thought to myself, ”Wouldn’t it be funny for a black guy to claim he was Irish. I’m going to go out tonight with this shirt and ask if they’ve ever met an Irish black guy!” I tried on the shirt and didn’t like it, however I liked the idea of the opener. I was still using openers I found on Forums and was seeing moderate success because of it. I decided I would try something new.
I thought that since I was trying out my Irish black guy opener, I may as well write another one and run both of them tonight. The last thing I wanted was to use the same opener on every girl I met tonight. The next opener I wrote down was ”Hey guys, my friends just told me I look like Mr. T with this haircut. What do you think?”
I went out the first night and saw moderate success with both openers. Usually I would go out on the first night I tried openers out and see very minimal success because I had to memorize something that wasn’t my own. These openers were my own, and because of that, they were easy to remember and deliver when approaching beautiful women. I managed to convince a lot of girls that I was really Irish and in fucking with them, had a lot of fun and created a lot of genuine connections.
I practiced these openers over the next week and the ”Mr. T” conversation starter brought consistent results. Girls would open up to me like crazy when I asked them this question because my hair was shaved into a Mohawk and it was a question about my raw image; they could tell that I was being congruent to who I really am in approaching.
My system, why it works, how it can work for you.
When I want to find a new opener I can use consistently, I sit down at my computer and think about who I am. I’m black, so I can use that in my opener. I love wearing skate shoes, I can use that in my opener. I’m a writer, I can use that in my opener. Let’s use something in relation to my skin color.
“Hey guys, my friends just told me I look like I’m Mexican. What do you guys think?”
This could spark a conversation about what you really are, what you look like you are, what their nationalities are, what nationalities they find sexy, etc. Conversation starter.
Let’s try something lame, like the skate shoes, to illustrate that you can use anything when you open.
”Hey guys, my friends just told me I’m the only black guy they’ve ever seen wear skate shoes. I think they’re sexy, what do you think?”
This could spark a conversation about what their sense of style is, what kind of shoes they like to see on guys, what they think of your overall look. Even an opener in relation to your SHOES can spark an interesting conversation.
Creating an opener that is congruent to you is important. It will make it easy to remember, easy to deliver; removing the chance of you stuttering on your opener. This is my system: make it work for YOU and see consistent results! Don’t just read this, do this!
- Sit down and write down 5 characteristics about yourself. Examples would be your skin color, your physical characteristics(height), personality characteristics(hyper), preferences in women (blondes)
- Look at your 5 characteristics and pick 3 that you would want to ask a question about. This gives you options and allows you to think about what you REALLY want to talk about.
- Write down one opener for each personal characteristic. Examples:
Short: ”Hey guys, do you think height matters in a relationship?”
Honest: ”Hey guys, quick question. Would you rather have a guy be 100% honest with you and hurt your feelings, or hold back information to keep you from being hurt?”
White: ”Hey guys. You ever met a white guy who can rap?”
It doesn’t matter if you’re shorter than her and she says she thinks “height matters”, it doesn’t matter whether or not she’d want a guy to be “100% honest” with her, it doesn’t matter if you’re white and you can’t rap. What matters is now you’re in a conversation with her. This is the first step.
Write down 3 openers and go out and commit to trying at least 2 of them 3 times the next night you go out. Use these openers every night you go out for the next week. Make the delivery of these conversation starters routine and effortless. Having 3 of these memorized will give you the ability to have a “go to” line when you see a woman you’re attracted to and have “nothing to say” in the moment.
Call to action! Write down 5 personality traits. Pick 3 of them and write an opener for each one. Pick your favorite 2 openers out of the 3 written down and go out TONIGHT and try them out at least 3 times each. Make these openers work for you over the next week and you will see consistent success because of it. This is only the verbal aspect of opening. Message me for information on Body Language on the opener as well as Vocal Tonality.