The Man I Have To Be.

“Take a deep breath, bring yourself to the present moment and start thinking about how to give the most value.” was the reply that I got from a friend via text.

textingAnother weekend, another Bootcamp except this one’s different. I flew in to a brand new city all by myself for the first time. I have no clue where everything was; I didn’t know what the venues were like and the type of people that were going to be there. I felt a lot of resistance because of all the uncertainty. Unfamiliarity definitely breeds discomfort.

10pm. Game time.

The program started and off we went. I was at a busy night club with my student and things started out rough. I was trying to teach while my mind was going 1000 miles an hour. “Where’s my student? Where’s the next set? How is he doing? Oh, he’s leaning forward too much! Damn, he has to speak up and I told him to uncross his arms!” There were a lot of things going on in my head. I wanted this guy to have a phenomenal night; that’s why I was already thinking 10 steps ahead as if I could mentally change the circumstances. I became outcome dependent and I felt overwhelmed.

That’s when I sent out a text for some advice.

I read the reply and it was exactly what I needed. I closed my eyes for a moment; I took slow, deep breaths. I had to take things step by step which allowed me to be in the present moment. I had to eliminate my ego and get validation through the process of what I was doing. I had to let go of anything that tells me otherwise. By being aware of my environment and being assertive at taking action, I knew things were going to work out. It always does. Everything else was out of my control and the only thing I could rely on at any given point was my own emotion. I had to be comfortable, unreactive and action oriented during uncomfortable circumstances. Being somewhere new put myself in a no way out situation for developing courage; I really had no other choice. I didn’t have the safety net of anyone that I knew.

successI made a decision that I was going to embrace the emotion and face the source of why I felt the way I did. I had to face my ego and allow myself to accept things for what it is. I wanted to be a man of solution and integrity. This was something that I would only understand up until I do it. I had to set the bar and make things non-negotiable. I strengthened and reinforced my personal code of ethics on the spot. “Success is the only option.” I said to myself. Through fortitude and perseverance, I was able to be creative with my approach. I knew the difference between a great night and a bad one is the ability to act despite my personal emotions. It’s about looking comfortable whenever uncomfortable.

Ever had a similar experience?

If that’s the case, do yourself a favor and don’t resist the experiences that will give you a brand new emotional spectrum. Perspective is priceless! If you’ve never fucked up, then you’ve never tried anything new. Give yourself the opportunity to show yourself what you’re truly made of. How you respond to weird and awkward experiences will shape your character and develop emotional awareness. The feeling inside your body will manifest in your words and your actions. Whatever you feel, other people feel as well. The world is the external mirror of who you are internally therefore you should view every interaction as feed back. If they think you’re weird, don’t blame them. Instead, take full responsibility and assess your emotions. Let go of anything that tells you: you need to be someone else. Positively re-condition yourself that it feels good to be you.

By being aware of all the things you’ve gone through, you’ll start to form emotional stability. The more insights and reference experiences you have, the more emotional dots you’ll be able to connect. You can’t change or influence something you don’t know about. From all of this, you can pin point where you’re at in the emotional spectrum and act accordingly. If you’re scared, stressed or overwhelmed, it’s all good. Accept it for what it is and consciously shift your focus from your perceived problems to tangible solutions. Break it down and determine your next step. You’re more likely to act if you know what to do next.

If you haven’t actively spent time defining your values and boundaries, the person you are today is who you’ve become not who you really are.


  1. This was really what I needed to hear. I was out last night in my hometown for Christmas and everyone I knew from high school was at a local bar. I was looking forward to seeing some old friends, but also showing them the growth I had after my recent trip to Australia. But I found myself feeling useless: I wasn’t funny, bold or even having a good time. Everything was wrong and I couldn’t figure out how to fix it.
    After reading this I realize what was wrong: I was too focused on what I wanted people to see that I let it get in the way of simply showing them. I forgot to be focused on my own intentions rather than what I perceived others to be thinking about me. I was worried about being judged, forgetting that the only person who has any right to judge me is me.
    Thank you Myke for sharing your story and helping to get back on track, keep doing what your doing guys you’re making a difference in peoples live.

  2. Cam would always tell me, “If you’re taking more action than the average person then their opinion of you shouldn’t matter.” What I realized was I don’t owe anyone anything. I just had to be present and act through my intentions. I’m glad you took something out of this article Alex. Are you in Calgary?

  3. Thank you both for doing what you do. I am not living in Calgary, I was living in Canmore about a year ago however, but now I’m in Toronto.

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