304 North Cardinal St.
Dorchester Center, MA 02124
304 North Cardinal St.
Dorchester Center, MA 02124
You walk into the club and feel the energy of the room engulf you. It’s 11:30pm and you feel emotion tingling through your arms. Every time you go out the anxiety consumes you and restricts you to the comfort zone of your friends. This night though something changes. You decide that you’re going to face your fears. You decide that you’re going to overcome your mental obstacles. You decide that you’re going to hit state.
I started meeting people 4 years ago now. At the age of 16 years old I read my first self – development book and was addicted to the idea of meeting new people. I had been kept in the comfort zone of my house my whole life. I never played a lot of sports before the age of 16, my social circle composed of teenagers who played Magic Cards and Yu – Gi – Oh.
Soon after reading a couple of books and watching a couple of DVD’s I was determined to go out and try it for myself. The books talked about “Approach Anxiety”; and defined it as the anxiety you feel as you’re about to go and meet someone knew. Your heart rate speeds up, your palms get all sweaty and it’s the biggest issue with people who start the study of Social Dynamics. Knowing what to say is cool, but before you can say anything you’ve got to overcome the internal mental battle when anxiety consumes you. The first couple of times I went out I saw no success. I didn’t approach anyone, I didn’t talk to any girls or guys I found myself in the mall with my two best friends at the time staring at people. I wanted to approach them. I wanted to start a conversation. My emotions consumed me and rooted my feet to the ground.
I remember watching a DVD on “State”. State is defined as the feeling you have when everything you’re saying is rolling off your tongue. As if your conscious mind doesn’t exist and you’re acting on pure impulse. Everything you say is funny, every person you talk to loves you, every interaction you have is positive. I didn’t believe this was possible until I experienced it for myself.
State to me, is presence; attached with the understanding that nothing can stop you. When you go to the gym you don’t pick up the heaviest weights as soon as you walk through the doors. You go into the changeroom, you get dressed, come out and warm up, stretch it out, then hit the weights. State is the same thing. Momentum is essential.
How do you build momentum towards achieving an internal feeling? How do you hit State? Does State apply to more than just meeting new people? Is State an emotion you can feel at all times?
State is a choice. You have a choice – every night that you go out – whether or not you hit State.
At 16 years of age my anxiety consumed me and kept me from approaching people. I remember the day that I was sick of stagnation. I went out to the mall and felt my blood pumping, my heart racing and my mind telling me I was crazy. I started approaching people. The first person I approached instantly rejected me… but for some reason I felt better. My mental chatter began to quiet as I approached the second person. Again my mind quieted and my emotion shifted from negative to positive. The first day that I approached 1 person I ended up approaching over 20.
I’ve come to realize the process to hitting state over the past 4 years. It’s logically very simple. Execution of this concept comes down to your ability to act towards what you want in the present moment. To feel the ultimate bliss you must face the ultimate anxiety. Fear is an emotion that exists only inside of your mind. Fear exists because you’re afraid of getting a certain outcome. I’ve come to understand the importance of Process. Every single time you face an external element of your life that causes you to feel an internal fear you become stronger. You overcome another mental obstacle that you’ve created inside your mind and you’ve taken one more step towards limitless.
State is a feeling of pure bliss. On top of the world, nothing can stop you. How do you experience this feeling? You don’t allow anything to stop you. You face a massive fear that turns your gut inside out. Maybe it’s asking for a raise at work. Maybe it’s approaching someone you find attractive. Maybe it’s quitting your job to pursue your passion. Maybe it’s quitting your job to go back to school. You focus on the process of facing your fears and understand that bliss awaits you on the other side of your fear.
The emotion we feel is blood pumping through our veins as a result of our heart beating faster. The perspective your mind has is what causes this feeling to be positive or negative. How do you use that blood flow and allow it to be positive? You have to shift your perspective and show your mind that it’s not really that scary. You face the external element in life that made your heart race in the first place and understand that every time you do you become stronger. Facing fears isn’t easy. If it was then we’d all be millionaires.
Face your fear. On the other side of your fear bliss awaits you. Make your decision — every night that you go out. How many fears are you willing to face? Are you seeking outcomes or are you in love with the process? Face your fears, and learn from your mistakes. Feeling bliss is your choice.