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304 North Cardinal St.
Dorchester Center, MA 02124
I wasn’t going to publish this article. In fact, I wanted to make it a book. It’s an idea that is continuously getting developed and I am bringing avid focus as to how I can make the material tighter, and easier for everyone to understand. Lately I’ve been focusing on becoming present, and it’s working. This article is only the beginning of a series of articles on how to become present.
Why is the present moment so important? When you’re talking to the girl you like, if you’re living in the present, you are doing something that FEW other people can do. Living in the present requires openness, honesty and effective communication. Being present means that the idea that is in your mind is coming out of your mouth without being filtered by your ego. If anything OTHER than the idea in your mind is coming out of your mouth; it will be sensed as fake.
What is the present moment? The present moment is the moment which we exist in at this very second. You, by reading this post, are living in the present moment. Hmm. That’s a lie. You’re only in the present moment if you’re reading over this paragraph and taking into account how it relates to your situation… instead of letting your eyes skim over the words.
For the longest time I thought of how I socialized. I would write of my nights out at the club, and I would try to come up with lines and techniques for how I gamed. I seemed to just make it happen, and I didn’t know how. I tried developing LINES over and over again, but no matter what, they didn’t feel real. It’s because they weren’t. Lines are never real. The only thing that is real is the present moment, and the only way to live in the present moment is to be aware.
The present moment is important because ideas get developed in the present moment. Idea’s exist in one’s head, but until shared or self – implemented, they are never developed. It is only in the present moment, socially, when ideas can be developed. The development of an idea is the key to success. In women, in life, in general. What happens when you exist in the present moment and you’re developing an idea? The reason LINES and ROUTINES never work is because LINES and ROUTINES never live in the moment. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO MAKE THEM CONDUSIVE TO THE MOMENT. The mind comes up with an idea, and the mouth forms the words to back that idea. The mind’s idea becomes the mouth’s words. If anything OTHER than the idea in the mind is being communicated, it is sensed as fake and one is brushed off as a fake, as a pretender.
How can you develop your awareness? Awareness comes from consistently exposing yourself to new social situations. Keeping in mind that each individual person in this world has a different mind; completely separate from EVERY OTHER HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET and their specific life experience, one develops awareness by meeting new people. Not just meeting them though, developing a connection with them. A REAL connection. If you can consistently focus on the process of developing connections with new people, you will begin to notice that you HAVE to be present to make a connection. Everyone is unique, with different ideas, that can only be developed with another human being in the present. Keeping the idea in mind, that the IDEA IN YOUR MIND becomes the words out of your mouth, what should you be focused on moving forward and developing your awareness?
Let’s develop each one of these ideas.
It’s important to think of positivity. Creativity comes from the subconscious mind, and is filtered through the conscious mind. If the conscious mind is focused on NEGATIVITY, the creativity will be filtered with negativity. This is when the ego comes into play over the mind’s creative process. If there is NEGATIVITY in one’s conscious mind, there are a couple things that will happen. For the INTROVERT, he will stay quiet lest he tarnish the image he has in the social circle which the idea is being developed. For the EXTROVERT, the creative idea will come out of the mouth but it will be stifled with EGO, which will cause the creative message to be mis – communicated to everyone in earshot. The development of ideas, good ideas, great ideas, brilliant ideas comes from filtering the creative process through a POSITIVE mindset. What you CONSCIOUSLY think, becomes your SUBCONSCIOUS communications. Creativity comes from the subconscious, which is filtered through the conscious. Have your conscious mind focused on positivity, so your creative ideas come out without the embarrassment of the ego. Re – affirm the thoughts to yourself. “Positivity, Positivity, Positivity.”
This ties in with Cam’s concept of “Going First.” Essentially offering value is GIVING without expecting anything in return. You’re telling a story just to tell a story. When this happens, and you’re just telling a story not expecting a return, you’ll notice that like – minded people will do the same. Keeping in mind that you want to surround yourself with like – minded people, when FIRST beginning to focus on the present… offer value. GO FIRST.
“You: Tell me what you do for fun? .. Wait, I’ll go first. For me, I love snowboarding. It’s exhilarating, it makes me feel like I’m alive when I’m travelling down the hill at 30k an hour. My adrenaline rush.
Her: That’s cool! I… “
Offer value, go first. Put yourself on the line, step out of your comfort zone. A LOT of living in the present is jumping out of your comfort zones, because for most of you, even myself, my comfort zone IS my head. I find that I learn the most when I’m always stepping outside of my comfort zone. Always putting myself in uncomfortable situations, because when you’re uncomfortable you’re growing. Offer value, open up, see what happens. Smile at people, wave at people, offer value.
Re – Affirm to yourself that you are here to live in the moment. The best quote I’ve ever read in my life:
“What a realization to realize that the voice in my head is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that voice.”
For ANYONE who reads this quote, you now understand the power of seeing the voice in your head. There are those who DENY the existence of the voice in their head, and that denial itself is the voice speaking. Bringing yourself to the present moment is being able to see that voice and realize that it is not who you are. You are the one who controls that voice. YOU, yourself, control your circumstance by controlling the voice in your head. The voice in your head rehearses negative outcomes, gives you reasons not to succeed, makes excuses and justifications for in – action, but YOU… you control that action. You control your drive to succeed, YOU can be the one that tells that voice to shut the fuck up and listen to the present moment. The next time that you find yourself escaping the present moment and retreating into the comfort zone of your own mind, recognize the voice speaking in it’s ugly tone. Think.
“Present Moment. Positivity. Offering Value.”
“Small minds talk about people. Medicore minds talk about events. Great minds talk about ideas. Brilliant minds develop ideas.”
Ideas are developed in the present moment. Great minds exist in the present moment. Choose to exist and develop ideas in the present moment, because the present moment is where connection exists. If, as a human being, one is focused on THEIR OWN CIRCUMSTANCE instead thinking about the CONTEXT of human interaction in itself… one cannot develop a REAL connection while thinking selfish thoughts of how to defend one’s own ego (not speaking their mind about certain ideas, or speaking up and relating the idea to their own ego to understand it). Develop a LEARNING mentality, and focus on becoming present by focusing on the present. This doesn’t mean that you ALWAYS have to be talking; part of the present moment is listening. If you’re going to be listening though, ACTUALLY listen. Take a backseat and observe two people talking, 3 people talking, 4 people talking and instead of letting your mind wander into a daze of useless context, watch and learn. WHEN SOCIALIZING, SOCIALIZE. Or observe the social interaction. Thinking is for your own time.
When you find yourself retreating into your head, talk to yourself WITH the control you have over your voice. Catch your thoughts wandering to things away from present moment and focus specifically on three things: “Positivity, Offering Value, Present Moment.”
HOPE THIS HELPS! COMMENT, AND SUBSCRIIIBE!