Categories
Passion

Life is Too Short to Not Be Lived Passionately

Change Ahead47 days ago I sent an email that changed my life.

In 2009 I drove through the beautiful city of Kelowna on route to Pentiction, BC for a rugby trip. At the time I was extremely passionate about Football. Losing city finals that year left a bitter taste in my mouth – I don’t do very well coming in second place. I wanted more. During a greyhound bus break on the trip I stopped by the Apple Bowl stadium and I had the opportunity to marvel at the stands. Ever since, I’ve dreamt of playing on it

After a shoulder separation in 2009 I dropped my dream of playing Football at the next level and continued to live my life. No matter how much I tried to leave football, football wouldn’t leave me. My favorite color is Red, and uncoincidentally is also the color of my team jersey for my Forest Lawn High Titans – my first football team. My helmet, shoulderpads, accomplishments and game film sat neatly organized near my closet for 2 years in plain sight for me to reminisce on every day I woke up to get dressed in the morning.

This year a good friend, Ryan Bellows, asked me to sign up for Flag Football with him. I went out to the Flag Football team and was met with pleasant surprise: my athleticism had not died and I could still play the game. Thirsty for more, I tried out for the Calgary Gators (you guys are awesome) and made the team.

I began to wonder if I had what it took to play at the next level. Looking into my options 47 days ago I sent an email to Coach Lake of the Okanagan Sun asking him for an opportunity to try out for his team. My hopes were high for an opportunity, but I didn’t expect a response.

Hi Brian,
Thanks for the mail. Where did you play football in high school and last season Brian? Do you have any film available?
Thanks for your time and consideration.
Kind Regards,
Coach Lake

A Journey Into the Unknown

Okanagan SunI write this blog post from KVR Coffee in Kelowna, British Columbia. I am proud to call myself a member of the fantastic Okanagan Sun football team. Playing for the Okanagan Sun is a blessing – the athletes are phenomenal and the family atmosphere is more welcoming than I would have ever imagined. Not only did I get to fulfill my dream of playing on the Apple Bowl field in Kelowna BC, I now have the greatest opportunity of my life to gain valuable experience in the 2012 season with a team that has massive potential to put up explosive numbers.

I’ve lived in Kelowna for 3 weeks now. Coach Lake’s hasty response encouraged me to pack up my bags and take a shot in the dark at a dream I’d always wished for. I believe any idea has the potential to turn into reality. To take the dreams inside your head and mold them into your reality takes effort, day in and day out and the ability to make a decision and follow through with it.

Live the Life of Your Dreams

47 days ago I made the decision to send an email. That email sparked the experience of this moment in Kelowna, BC where I write this blog post to you. That email has completely changed my life for the better and spawned more personal growth than I ever would have imagined. I’ve learned life lessons I never would have known if I stayed in Calgary and I’ve become a part of an organization that is becoming better and better each day.

And it all started with a simple message.

Time passes so fast and with each second that ticks away on the clock the window of opportunity for your dreams gets smaller and smaller as more people dive through windows similar to yours.

Playing for the Okanagan Sun has always been a dream of mine. There was always so many excuses too. “I waited too long,” “I’m not good enough anymore,” “I’m not fast enough anymore,” but there came a moment where I made a decision to run towards my fears instead of away from them.

Most people spend their entire lives on autopilot, making decisions that flow with group consensus instead of having individual dreams and values and following through with them. Most people spend their life living stuck inside their habits instead of choosing to break free and live a life of their dreams.

It’s easy to want to live the life of your dreams. It’s easy to wish for better to come. The hard part is taking action and turning your dreams into things for your eyes to see, your hands to touch, your emotions to feel.

Look Inside Yourself. It’s Time to Take Action.

Have your dreams turned into regrets? What vision have you put on the backburner? When are you going to take the broken dream inside of your mind, stop playing the victim and start taking action to solve your life and live your vision?

Pen and PaperWrite down ONE experience you’ve always wanted to create for yourself. For some of you this will come easy, for others not so much. Take 10 minutes (time yourself, it helps) and write down one experience you’ve always wanted to create for yourself.

47 days ago I spent 10 minutes on an email that has forever altered the course of my life. I’m now blessed to play alongside extremely talented athletes in a sport I grew to love in my younger years. Do yourself this favor. Gives yourself this gift of 10 simple minutes.

Once you’’re done, take one action step towards living the life of your dream. It could be as small as sending an email, calling someone you know could help, dropping off a resume, applying for a class, whatever it is. Take one action step towards your vision.

10 minutes could change your life.

Categories
Lifestyle

How to Achieve Freedom (And Why Your Idea of Freedom is Wrong!)

freedomThe idea of freedom is an important one. It’s something everyone wants, strives for, craves, and ultimately needs in order to fulfill their passions and dreams! While freedom is an extremely important idea, I have recently realized that the idea of freedom is only ONE side of the coin. And without it’s counterpart, the value of freedom diminishes substantially. So what is freedom’s counterpart, and how can combine the two to live a more fulfilling life? This is precisely what I will be talking about today.

Freedom’s counterpart is purpose, passion and direction. The idea or pursuit of freedom alone, without purpose, is incomplete. It will ultimately limit the potential depth and overall value that any relationship has to offer. However freedom with purpose is surely necessary to feeling fulfilled and live the life you want.
 
Obviously freedom is something we all want, and it comes in many forms: financial freedom, freedom from oppression, freedom of speech, freedom from illness, freedom of relationships, freedom of thought, freedom of education to name a few. However the “side of the coin” that most people miss is the idea of purpose, passion and direction. To have one without the other does not actually create value. In fact it can be dangerous in some cases to have only one. How can you have freedom without a purpose or direction to apply it to? How can you have a purpose or direction if you are not free to pursue it?
 

Here’s an Example:

Travelling is a great example because it’s what many people would choose to do if they had “freedom”. However when you are travelling there is actually only one point throughout the journey of your travels where you are truly free. This is the point at which you decide where you ultimately want to go, which destination you wish to travel to. This is when you are completely free to travel anywhere you would wish. The moment you select a destination and buy your ticket you are now bound to that choice, that decision and that destination. 
 
Infact if you look at areas of life where only freedom exists, it’s actually not anywhere we would want to be:

  • At which point in your job are you actually free? At the point at which you have yet to select a job. When you are unemployed.
  • At which point in your speech are you actually free? At the point at which you have yet to select a topic of conversation. When you are in silence.
  • At which place in your travels are you actually free? When you have yet to select a destination. When you are in limbo.

 
What many people are not aware of is the fact that they are free or can be. Everyone has the choice. The problem occurs when people forget to attach a purpose or direction to their freedom.

If I had an hour to save the world I would spend 59 minutes defining the problem and one minute finding solutions.
-Albert Einsten

 
The real problem is that people don’t have purpose. They are trying to find solutions to problems that don’t exist.

So how do you create purpose, passion and direction while achieving freedom? How do you utilize them both? The place where you start, like with most things, is through developing awareness. How can you walk the path if you do not have the map? Well first you have to realize that purpose, passion and direction is the map!
 

First: How to Achieve Freedom.

Freedom is simply independence within a relationship. Remember that you can build a relationship with ANYTHING. To be independent is to simply be without dependence.
 
Define your dependencies:
 
Are you dependent on money to create options? On another person for support? On your boss for approval to move a project forward? Are you dependent on anything for your motivation?
 
If so then this is where you start. Taking ourselves to an independent level in the relationships/areas of life that we wish to pursue. It is only when you have reached independence in the relationships you value most that you are truly free.
 
Once you have freedom, you have reached the pinnacle of independence, what’s next? The Map.
 

Second: How to Achieve Purpose, Passion and Direction?

 
spacePurpose/passion/direction are all the by-product of a deep, connected, internal relationship. Before something can be your purpose it must be your passion, before it can be your passion you must love it, before you love it you must like it, and before you like it you must experience it. These progressions towards purpose are the same progressions seen in the development of a relationship.
 
Passion is the intensity of the emotion you feel directly paralleled to the rate of growth you experience in a relationship. When you are growing very quickly you are very passionate, however passion is virtually non-existent when you have plateaued.
 
Purpose is when the potential of the relationship has no end. As an example, a purpose cannot be about one’s self because eventually even that relationship will end. However relationships with positivity, growth, spirituality, energy, the universe or good karma are all examples of relationships that could potentially last forever, and thus, have the potential to be your purpose. These are only a few examples of many, many types of relationships that have infinite potential without an end.
 
Direction is simply the pursuit of both purpose and passion.
 
The way you achieve purpose, passion, and direction is by developing a relationship to as deep of a level as possible. Naturally the relationships will be what each individual finds most valuable. So how does someone develop relationships to such a deep level when nobody is ever taught? This is our mission with the Social Dynamics Movement. To finally open you up to the option of learning how to develop healthy, long-term relationships. To finally have the option of social education. To finally be able to find purpose, passion and direction. To finally achieve freedom.

If you want to find out more, contact me. I’d love to talk with each of you on these subjects more.

Categories
Lifestyle

Guest Post: 4 Step Guide on How to Find Passion

Alden TanAlden Tan is a blogger that makes his way to Kingpin Lifestyle all the way from Signapore. Alden Tan is a passionate BBoy and he started his own blog with the intention of spreading the word: life can be easy. Life can be enjoyable. Life can be lived with good emotions. Alden Tan’s blog is all about spreading the word of passion with uncensored, real talk on how to make your life better. Check out Alden Tan’s blog here. In the meantime… enjoy his first post on Kingpin Lifestyle.

Today we are going to talk about a simple yet powerful topic called Passion. This is an extremely important aspect of life that is most often swept under the rug by most people, and that of course is really sad because not many know of the art of passion and how it can actually bring you a long way in life.

Strong, powerful words bordering on metaphysical stuff? Indeed. Passion is on a whole new level. Read on to see why passion, when sparked in the individual can make a huge difference in his or her life and why passion isn’t just about doing what you love or dabbling in something you think is fun and cool.

Definition of Passion

“Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate”
                -Dictionary.com

That’s the straight-up meaning of it, should you flip open a book for it. But go ahead and ask anyone who has a real passion in life.

If you ask me, it goes something like this:

“Passion is that very thing in your body and soul that can take over within seconds. It burns with a fire so strong that you know it’s ‘right’”

It ain’t just something you love…

PassionWhen people think of passion they are mostly like, “Oh just something I really love doing”.

Take it a little deeper.

With passion, there is feeling. With feeling, there are your senses being erupted. Passion allows you to actually follow your heart and when you go along with it, everything just feels right.

All the clichés in the world, Follow your Heart, Chase your dreams, Pursue your Passion, Do what you Love, Never Give Up, all stem from one thing, and that of course is passion.

Things will never go wrong.

It’s my personal belief that good things will automatically manifest in your life as long as you stay true to yourself and do what you love.

Maybe you think that’s hard to believe. After all, the world is a tough place where people are constantly competing against each other and also, you got to live up to societal expectations and all that.

Well, call it the law of attraction, having a good aura, creating good positive vibrations, karma or some deity making you feel blessed. Call it whatever you want! But you definitely cannot go wrong with this: It’s a damn good feeling.

When there is passion, it feels good. It gives you that major sense of belonging and ultimately, an identity. Passion is what burns inside of you that makes everything in life feel right. The world may be a crazy place for us to live in, but what makes us unique and special in this constantly-moving world is our feelings. NOTHING, and I mean nothing or anyone else on this planet can dictate that for you and take that away from you.

So, instil some passion inside of you, get some good feelings, have some fun, and just live happily.

The beauty of it all? It doesn’t matter what your passion is. Your favourite thing to do could be sitting at home playing Skyrim non-stop or heading out to do volunteer work. The difference ultimately come together and achieves the same thing in that person, which is feeling right; feeling totally awesome about it.

Because life isn’t that bad.

DJ PassionMore clichés now: Life is unfair, it’s a Dog Eat Dog world out there, You Snooze You Lose, Survival of the Fittest, Good guys finish last. The list can go on!

Passion can trump all of that (I love how this works)

With all that I have written above, you can easily see how passion makes you feel good. Find your passion, go with it, fall in love with it and just feel totally awesome about life.

Passion (to be more dramatic about it) actually gives you hope in life.

Get some passion in you and you indulge in your whole being on a new level that is unique to you. With this special feeling, things will go right. Why?

Because life isn’t that bad.

Hell, if you can tell yourself that, you are pretty much right track in having passion; in life.

Life is Short.

For real.

Life is simply too short to be doing things you don’t even feel like doing. It’s a sad fact in life that people are caught in the “matrix” where they are bounded by rules of society and others’ expectations. Many hence, fail to follow their passion or worse, don’t even get to find theirs’. It’s an even sadder fact in life people don’t get to live their own life, thanks to diseases, bad people and stuff.

It’s all real. So why wait? Get your passion now, and start feeling good.

Having trouble finding your passion?

I wrote a guide here. In short, it goes a little something like this:

Step 1) Ask yourself what do you think you are good at.

Step 2) Ask yourself what makes you excited.

Step 3) Find out what makes you feel like you belong to something else.

Step 4) Try out all sorts of different stuff.

Start now. Don’t delay. It will be worth it.

Alden Tan

Categories
Entrepreneurship Lifestyle

One Quick Tip to Overcoming Growing Pains

passion for writingIt’s been about a year since I started sitting on my keyboard writing field reports. I’ve come a long way from my first posts. I can remember the days where my posts were long rants, describing each and every single person that I approached that evening. I wrote with too much detail. My extended efforts allowed me to have a clearer perspective on my journey of self – discovery.

Social Dynamics came into my life unexpectedly. The whirlwind of a year I’ve experienced started with a simple question from one man; “I’m moving downtown into a condo and I’m looking for a roommate.” A question that would cause me to leave my comfort zone would lead to a shift of direction for the rest of my life.

The Importance of Conscious Decisions

The hardest road is always the one will grow the most from. I was living comfortably when I met Cam, paying $300.00 for rent, making enough money to get by and buy all of the marijuana I smoked my time away with. My moderate depression was covered momentarily with the marijuana smoke and the drunken weekend escapades. At $925.00 a month, Cam offered me to move into a Downtown condo; away from the people that I had grown extremely fond of. My social circle – my environment – would have to be left behind for me to go on this path of self development.

Reflecting on this past year has brought to my attention the importance of the present moment decisions that are made in our everyday life. I look back on a year’s time and wonder where my life would be had I chosen to stay in my comfortable house with my old friends. They’re all good people – but we didn’t share the same passion for meeting people. You are a result of your environment. The people you hang out with shape the person you ultimately turn out to be. Leaving my social circle behind at 19 years old was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.

broke for passion

Especially knowing that I was going to be nearly broke for the next few months; while learning how to manage money in the more expensive condo I’d be living in.

If it was easy, everyone would grow.

Just a little over a year ago I was faced with a decision. This decision was to grow to levels I didn’t know were possible with my low self – esteem at the time, or to stay right where I was and live comfortably. The thing about living comfortably is that you don’t have to take the risk to see that your sense of reality may not be as right as you think it is. It’s always easier to stay at home in ignorance than it is to put yourself on the line and test how much you really know. It is the people who choose to strive for something more that get what they want out of reality. My decision that day seemed to be “Live in this house, or live in a house with Cam,”… but it was so much more than that.

making decisionsThe question that Cam posed to me was “Do you want to grow, or are you comfortable getting what you’ve always gotten.” The decision to grow has changed the course of my life in a forever positive direction. In a years time I went from a state of slight depression to a consistently passionate emotional state. The people that I surround myself with encourage me to grow even when my days start out dreading the sound of the alarm clock. Growing alone is hard, growing with a group is so much easier.

Every day we’re faced with decisions that seem like basic decisions.

“Cook for myself or eat a McDonalds bacon and egger” = “Take care of myself or treat myself with disrespect”

“Give change to someone less fortunate or walk on by” = “Make a difference in the world or live a life of selfishness”

“Stay home and study or go out to the bar” = “Develop personal integrity or take steps backwards in terms of growth”

These basic in the moment decisions affect the course of your life. The way that you do something is the way that you do everything. The present moment decisions that are made – although seemingly meaningless in the moment – are shaping the outcome of the person you turn out to be. Every decision matters. Conscious control over present moment decisions will cause you to turn into that person you’ve always wanted to become. Be conscious. Make the smart decision. Decide to grow in the moment. The small sacrifices you’ll have to make in the short term of your life will have the greatest positive impact on the vision you’ve created inside of your mind.

Thank you Kingpin Social..

self discovery

My decision to move in with Cam a year ago has shaped the outcome of my life. It’s caused me to live in passion with the people around me. It’s caused me to love every second I’m alive. It’s caused me to develop a relationship with my keyboard; but ultimately it’s caused me to develop a healthy relationship with myself. Cooking for myself, going to Yoga classes, maintaining my physical fitness and developing a sense of integrity are all byproducts of studying Social Dynamics.

Here’s your chance. It’s your turn to grow. It might be hard right now, but every decision that you make in this present moment affects the course of the rest of your life. Consciously choose to be better than you were yesterday.

Categories
Lifestyle Social Dynamics

Have You Given the Greatest Gift to the Ones You Love?

love poetry“Mother I love you for all that you’ve done, I’ll grow old and make you proud as your son”

I read off of my computer screen. My mother and I have never had that close of a relationship. My perspective on my childhood was negative. I never appreciated where I came from. The experiences that I’ve had up to this point have shaped the person that I am today; and for 20 years I grew up resenting those experiences instead of appreciating them.

This weekend something shifted.

I wanted to get my family a Christmas gift, but I wanted it to mean more than money could ever buy. Social Dynamics says that value is based on the emotion that you can make someone feel. By giving value, you’re giving someone a positive emotion. Open a big screen TV and you’re pretty happy. Everything that can be purchased with money and given as a gift, is simply a way of giving someone a positive emotion. The more expensive or thoughtful the gift, the happier someone will be.

I believe in the short term someone’s happiness spikes with an expensive gift. Once the novelty of the Christmas expense wears off, the emotional state of the individual returns to normal; only now they have an extra toy. A thoughtful gift on the other hand has the opposite effect. I believe a thoughtful gift to mean more than an expensive gift ever could; for a thoughtful gift means that you spent more than just money on the present. You spent your most valuable commodity – time and energy – because making the other person feel good means more than money ever could.

Value is based on emotion. I wanted to ensure that my family felt the best emotion they possibly could this Christmas. Instead of purchasing any gifts; I wanted to test my Social Dynamics. If value did actually equal emotion, that means that I wouldn’t have to buy a gift to have a bigger impact than any Christmas present ever could.

I would be able to leave the gift of love.

I wrote 12 verses for the poem, 1 to each of my family members in the room and the rest thanking everyone for the person I had become. Line by line as I read the poem to my family I began to feel the emotion rise from the pit of my stomach. Showing this much love in front of family should never be hard. It seems frowned upon. The only time we appreciate the people we have in life is when it’s too late; as we stand above their casket wishing we showed them more while they lived.

I finished the poem and looked up at my mom to see her eyes well up with tears. Her and I never had a good relationship; I’ve resented her for years for my childhood. I didn’t understand the importance of what she had done. She raised me to the best of her ability with the tools that she had been given. My limited perspective kept me comparing myself to other children my age, wondering why I didn’t have the things that they had.

My mother had me at 17 years old and insisted on keeping me and raising me. Who knows where I would be if she hadn’t taken me and chosen to raise me, instead of put me up for adoption; or even worse – abortion. My mother made the hardest decision of her life at age 17 to keep me and raise me, and because of it I am the person that I am today. Every experience in my life – positive or negative – has shaped the person that I am today.

“I Appreciate You..”

20 years, 1 month and 28 days after my mother brought me into this world, I thanked her for doing so. I felt the love creep up from my stomach into the room as my expression of emotion overcame each and every one of my family members. I realized something this weekend, that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Social Dynamics says give value freely, expecting nothing in return. The highest form of value that you can give is an expression of love, expecting nothing in return.

the present

I can say with certainty now that Social Dynamics has not only changed my life, but has changed the dynamic of my family. From a family who had a hard time expressing love openly to a room full of laughter and hugs within a day, I know that my poem had an impact on my family this Christmas day. More of an impact than a big screen TV ever could.

How much appreciation have you showed for the ones that you love today?

Categories
Entrepreneurship

Is Your Mentality Helping You Always Win?

“Put some heart in it!” My coach yelled at me from the sidelines. I didn’t know what he was talking about. It’s 21 – 44 for the Colts, the Broncos are down by 23 points. I played the left side corner, and was partially responsible for the last touchdown. I watched as the running back turned around the corner that I was supposed to contain. That didn’t feel good.

I left my Grade 10 season with the Broncos with a vengeance. I know we deserved better, I was determined to walk into my next season a better player. I was missing the “heart” element of the game. Playing sports wasn’t something that came easy to me. I picked up my first sport at 15 years old; football.

My competitive nature has always been there. I was the oldest of 5 brothers and sisters, and was raised without a consistent male role model. I always saw myself as the man of the house. I competed against my younger siblings for household dominance at all of the games we played. My independent nature fueled me to be the best, because when I was the best I felt… free.

What is Heart?

I believe that humanity naturally falls into two separate categories. Competitive and cooperative. I believe that a person’s core values are derived from their childhood experiences. A person with a cooperative nature is likely to have grown up in an environment where cooperation and love was the driving force of the environment. A person with a competitive nature is likely to have grown up in an environment where freedom was the motivation.

My belief is that cooperation and competition are equally as important. I believe the only competition that should happen is competition with the self. Cooperation is a universal trait that should happen with everyone at all times, no exceptions.

The Competitive Nature

I believe we are all competitive in nature. There are two separate categories of competitive people. There are the people who compete with themselves, and there are the people who compete with the environment.

“I’m better than you are…”

Competition with the environment in the short term seems like the best option. This mentality drives our capitalist society. Every man for himself, may the best man survive. There’s one thing that competition with the environment forgets; compassion for the fellow man. I believe human nature to have both cooperation and competition in their hearts. Competition with the environment forgets one element of human nature that makes us who we are.

Compassion.

The Heart of Gold

Why do “nice guys finish last”? A cooperative nature without a competitive nature seems like the best one to have. Cooperation with  the fellow man means the world turns into a better place, instead of this “every man for himself” mentality.

Cooperation with the fellow man at all times has one flaw, though. There are those who are competitive in nature that can sense an individual cooperative in nature. The ones who consistently look to cooperate get taken advantage of. Their ability to look at people and only see the good in them leaves them ignorant to the competitive side of our human nature.

Nice guys finish last because they forget that there are competitors who naturally take advantage of cooperation.

Life is Balance

Competition and cooperation are equally as important.

I believe we have a naturally tendency to be either more compassionate, or more competitive. I’ll use myself as an example; I’m extremely competitive. In every scenario I find myself, my brain is figuring out a way for me to end up on top. My competitive nature is extremely good for a lot of areas of my life. When it comes to business I do extremely well, achieving my goals isn’t an issue, meeting anyone that I want to comes with ease.

Human nature is about balance. My competitive nature serves me well in many areas of life, but my lack of cooperation hurts me as much as my competitive nature serves me. My competitive nature finds itself leaking into my friendships where I try to outdo my friends, laughing in triumph as my ego walks and talks through the room. My competitive nature leaks into my relationships, where I won’t allow myself to get hurt and I always find a way to leave first.

This weekend I saw the perfect balance of compassion and competition in my two best friends. This article is inspired by the balance they’ve achieved, which is inspiring me to achieve my own. Mikey B is an individual who has a heart of gold, but he lacked the competitive nature in himself to set boundaries that people would not cross. The balance that he’s striving to achieve allows his heart of gold to shine through with confidence, because he knows that he can bring out the best in people without them walking all over him.

Daniel Fexa is a man who looks to be better than he was yesterday every day. The competitive nature  he keeps with himself keeps from consistently looking to out – do the environment, and allows him to prosper in the skill sets he develops. Daniel Fexa recorded his first Youtube video yesterday; be watching for it.

Social Dynamics says that you are a result of your environment. I cannot express how thankful I am for the environment I have right now. The Kingpin Social crew always pushes me to become better than I was yesterday, every day, in every present moment.

Competition is important. Especially in the world that we’ve been raised in today, it seems everyone’s trying to outdo their fellow man. Competition alone ultimately sets you up for failure; for two reasons. Competition forgets about the second element of human nature that makes us who we are, cooperation, and competition only allows you to be better than the next man.

You can only be the best if you’re only looking to outdo your fellow man. You will never be your best. I believe that in this life the only person you should ever be competing with is yourself, and you should be compassionate to everyone else that walks this earth. I believe that you need to have an element of life where you compete with yourself, developing any skill set with the intent of being better than you were yesterday.

I believe if this competition with the self isn’t satisfied, our competitive nature will leak into our environment and we will neglect to show compassion. Are you better than you were yesterday?

Categories
Social Dynamics

Does Competition Set You Up For Failure?

competitionI’ve always been competitive. Being the oldest brother of 5 children drove me to strive for top dog, in everything I did. Over the course of my life, my independence and drive to be the best took me to levels I didn’t believe to be possible.

I believed, for a long time, that I could do anything that I wanted on my own. Period.

These last few weeks I’ve been inspired, driven by a force that leaves me feeling emotions I’m not comfortable feeling. Opening myself up to the idea of love is frightening, scary, and leaves my independent nature vulnerable to outside influences.

I’m 20 years old, and my whole life I’ve masked my emotion with leadership. In times of trial and tribulation I’d grind out work on my own, instead of asking for any outside help. This mindset allowed me to succeed, but more often than not, was the inevitable cause of my failures.

Cam Adair, founder of Kingpin Social recently came across a movie that he wanted to show us. The movie’s title is “I Am”, and the movie asks one question that leaves the viewer to think on.

“At the core of our humanity, were we born to compete, or to cooperate?”

I think that competition is a part of our human nature that cannot be neglected. To be the best man has been engrained into our society, and whether or not at the root of our humanity we were born to be competitive, here we are in the 21st century glued to the stock markets. To know whether we were born to be a collective, or to cooperate, is a question that may never be answered. Especially with the system that we live in today. Competition is here to stay, there’s no doubt about it.

What about this idea of collectiveness? What is this all about, anyways?

You Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Yours..

to cooperateThe idea of collectiveness is laughed at, and scorned by  mass amounts of society. Occupy Calgary is a great example of this idea. There were human beings coming together to represent a voice, and the media ridiculed them every chance they got. The message was delivered to the public from a biased perspective, which caused a collective consciousness of negativity towards the movement. Anybody that steps out of the system that we currently have in place, to work together as a collective and have a voice, is shunned and laughed at.

Now, I’m not saying I’m a supporter of Occupy Calgary. I disagree with a lot of the ideas that they represented. The fact of the matter is, they represented an idea. They came together, bonded in times of struggle and refused to back down when they wanted to send a message. Their message was clear; they were fed up (for “X” amounts of reasons) and they were going to work together as a collective to spread that message.

Why is this idea of cooperation ridiculed in today’s society? The notion of walking a lady across the street is a cool idea, but how many people actually execute? Giving a homeless man the change that you wouldn’t use anyways seems to make sense, helping another human being. Why do most of us walk by, occupied by the small issues in our own mind, in our own life?

At the core of our humanity, I believe we were born to cooperate. I believe we were born to work together, to create something greater than our individual selves. This competitive society that we were born into causes us to think for ourselves; only wishing for outcomes that ultimately benefit the individual. The reality of the situation is this: you need enough money, food, shelter, etc. to survive, and any excess amount that you own, you’re holding excess value that you don’t need, that could save  another person’s life.

The Monetary Flaw

The idea of “give value freely, expect nothing in return” is trivialized in the eyes of society, because society attaches the idea of “value” to “money”. This mindset is flawed, in fact, it’s completely backwards. Money is a representation of the time and energy that you put into anything. We live in a world that monetizes by the hour, giving you “x” amount of value for your time and energy put into the job. Money is a representation of time, and energy.

Time and energy are the ultimate form of value. Give value freely, expect nothing in return does not mean money. Money is one way that you can give value, because it does represent energy. Money is not the best way to give value, though. The best way to give value, is to donate your time and energy into helping another human being. The best way to give value, is to step outside of the mind of the self, and open your eyes to see that you are not the only person that walks this earth.

Your problems are minuscule, when placed on the spectrum of the world.

lend a helping handThis isn’t an “African Charity” speech. All you have to do is open your eyes and look at our city streets. How many people walk the winter air, homeless? We walk three blocks in the weather and complain about the cold. Our society operates on a notion of ridicule; laughing at those less fortunate than us. In reality, those are people that need help. Those are people that need time and energy. There are always people that need time and energy, the greatest form of value that you can offer.

It isn’t just with the strangers in this world, that this value equation applies to either. This is true with your family members, your friends, your significant other.

Another person’s negative emotion tends to be written off by the individual; for the individual has only his emotional state in mind. We must open our eyes and see beyond ourselves. Somebody’s negative emotion ; anger, sadness, depression, anxiety; is a cry  for help, in the most basic form of communication.

The baby does not tell you it’s sadness, it cries. When it cries, you know that it wants something. Instead of sitting on the couch watching your favorite TV show while the baby cries, get up and help it. Give your time and energy to the people in your life that are struggling, that are going through a hard time. Instead of writing off your fellow man, being happy that you’re doing better than him; do your best to help him. Invest your time and energy into the emotional state of another human being.

Give the ultimate form of value; time, energy and love to the people around you that need it the most. I believe that we were born to work as a collective, not as a competitive society. “Give, and you shall receive”, a notion attached to the idea of time and energy. Good karma, bad karma is based on the time and energy that you invest into anything. Invest time and energy into a skill set, you will receive better skills. Invest time and energy into your fellow man, and they will do the same for you.

Invest time and energy, into a representation of  time and energy (money), at the end of the day you’ll be stuck with a useless stack of time and energy.

The Social Dynamics Movement

I came to that realization a month ago today, and my monthly reflection is summed up in this next sentence. I am powerful on my own, I am unstoppable with a support system interested in investing time and energy, the greatest form of value, into each other. Collective, cooperative, either way success is the only option.

helping others

The power of cooperation, which comes from giving value freely, is an unstoppable movement that money could never buy. This is the Social Dynamics movement, and we won’t stop until the world decides to work together as a collective. It’s up to you, and me, to be the voice that helps the fellow person.

Categories
Lifestyle

Increased Awareness: Guaranteed!

walking blurI opened the front doors of my apartment building to be greeted by the sharp, cold winter air. It’s August 29th, I’m hungry and Sunterra Market is calling my name. My Ipod headphones are in as my walk seems to be mindless now, as if my mind knows the steps to walk and my feet walk there without conscious direction.

Sometimes, I’m afraid to go out in public. I put a lot of pressure on myself, being an intern at Kingpin Social. I believe if I’m going to be teaching Social Dynamics, that my skills have to be on point, at all times. As my feet bring me closer to Sunterra, I use my eyes to see the cute brunette walking towards me. Instantly the mental chatter started, restraining me to my own mind.

“She’s not your type man. She’s busy.”

I continued walking to Sunterra without saying a word, as I mentally cussed myself for retreating from another potential opportunity.

Wake Up!

I went a long time, with the same mental patterns that caused me to self – sabotage. Knowing how to meet people is a blessing and a curse, you want to meet everyone but your time is limited. How do you know who to meet, and where to meet them, and how to meet them? Knowing who to meet is setting your priorities straight, but knowing who fits into that category is a different skill set altogether.

The way our brains have been hardwired is an interesting topic for me. I believe that naturally, most of us look for reasons not to fail, instead of looking for reasons to succeed. They seem like the same thing, though? Polar opposites.

Looking for Reasons Not To Fail

The way you do something, is the way you do everything is the best thing I’ve heard all year, I believe quoted by Kevin Choo.

successes“I would approach, but she’s not my type,” was the phrase that ran through my mind countless times. Before the Social Gym experience, my mind would constantly look for reasons to fail. My mind would constantly look for reasons to make excuses, to justify my inaction, to feel good about my laziness. I love the skill set of meeting new people, it’s a great way to bring to the surface the other bad habits that slip your mind throughout the day. I found that this mindset wasn’t just keeping me from meeting new people, but it was keeping me from going to the gym.

“I would go to the gym, but I don’t have enough time to get my article done,”

Every chance my mind got to make an excuse, it took it.

Looking for Reasons to Succeed

Reprogramming a bad habit and ingraining it into your thinking patterns is one of the most difficult things to do, if you do not have something to constantly measure your new mindset by.

“Hey man, real quick! I love those shoes, where’d you get them?” The Social Gym has blessed me with a newfound awareness for meeting new people, and I want to give you the value my struggle has given me. One of the tools that I’ve used to get me through my Social Gym experience is the idea of finding reasons to talk to people.

Just as easily as you can find 1000 reasons not to talk to somebody, you can find 1000 reasons to talk to somebody. You just have to use your mind to consciously pick out those reasons.

start conversation

Change “She’s not my type,” to “She’s got a unique sense of style for her look,”

Change “I don’t have enough time to talk to her,” to “I’m going to go make her day quickly, and introduce myself,”

Change “I don’t talk to dudes,” to “That guy looks like he knows some good dubstep places around here,”

I have a method that you can apply the next time that you’re out on the street, or in the club to instantly improve your conversation skills. The best part about training your awareness, at first, is that you don’t have to actually approach right away for it to be effective! You’re just reprogramming the way your brain sees the world. The only time you should approach, is when your awareness tells you that this is the kind of person that you want to be meeting.

Three Steps to Increased Awareness

open your eyesThe First Step is to look for the things they’re carrying. Tim Hortons, Starbucks, a shopping bag are easy conversation starters if you’re first starting out meeting new people. The key is to make it easy on yourself, for the first steps. If you enjoy the first step, you’ll seek out the second. Before you move on to step 2, make sure you’ve tried out step 1 a few times.

“Excuse me, really quick. How do I get to Tim Hortons from here?”

The Second Step is to look for the articles of clothing that they’re wearing, and ask yourself if it screams something unique about them. Maybe you actually do love the shoes they’re wearing, and you wonder where they got them. Maybe a bracelet that they’re wearing caught your eye, and you wanted to come over and compliment them on it. Before you move on to step 3, make sure you try out step 2 a few times.

“Hey dude! This is kind of random, but that jacket is sick. Where’d you get it?”

The Third Step is to look at their overall look, and see if it says anything about their personality. Myke says that “their external image is a direct reflection of who they are internally,” so use their external image to your advantage once you’re at this stage. Combine all of their external elements of clothing into one image, and cold read them based on that image.

“Excuse me. This is kind of random, but I love your sense of style! The black cardigan mixed with the diesel jeans screams creativity and class at the same time. Are you an artist?”

create a visionRe – training your awareness to look for reasons to talk to people will do more than just improve your conversation skills. The way you do something, is the way you do everything. That means that when you re – train your awareness to look for reasons to succeed, you’ll do this in other areas of your life too. Instead of skipping the gym to write my article, I’m looking for ways to make them both happen. Instead of looking for potential problems in my vision, I focus on the work that will get me closer to the solution.

Hope this helps! Comment, and subscriiiibe

Categories
Entrepreneurship Lifestyle

From Part Time, to Go Time

be inspiredToday is the day that I quit my job, and purse my passion.

I couldn’t sleep in this morning, I couldn’t justify going back to sleep. I’m motivated today, there is something lighting a fire underneath me. It’s 8:30am and I’m writing my resignation letter to the Roadhouse; thanking them for the experience. I love Roadhouse, I really do. I love it so much that I allowed it to keep me from working my ass off to find a way to make my dream job, my reality.

Social Dynamics says that you are a result of your environment. The people in your environment influence your behaviors, which in turn influence the person that you turn out to be. Last night was the craziest night that Kingpin Social has seen, for their Ideas Developing Ideas session. The best part, is that this is only the beginning.

Ideas Developing Ideas is a night designed by Kevin and Cam. The tandem decided that one night a week would be dedicated to developing ideas with students of Social Dynamics. IDI has been around for a few months now, and Kevin and Cam have always been adamant about making sure that the conversation stayed on a high level.

“Small minds talk about people, mediocre minds talk about events. Great minds talk about ideas, Brilliant minds develop ideas”, Kevin once told me. The first time I heard this, I wasn’t able to wrap my head around it.

Over the past 5 months, I’ve developed to understand what the 4 levels of conversation mean. It doesn’t mean that when you talk about people, or events, that you have a small mind. It means that you’re using a small percentage of your minds potential, and the connection that you have will be limited based on your small minded conversation.

Deep connection is deep conversation, deep conversation is solution – oriented, idea development.

Last night I felt more than idea development. These past few months I’ve been spending a lot of time developing my mind; almost too much. I think alot, but I tend not to share my thoughts with everyone in my environment. One of the benefits of being smart, is that you can use your intelligence to look for underlying concepts in other people’s story, instead of opening up and sharing your own. I realized last night, though, that because I hide my own story there are times when I’m limiting my own growth.

working togetherDavid O’Neil and I had a deep conversation last night. I hadn’t  had a conversation with David in awhile. The craziest part about Social Dynamics is that everyone grows so fast in their own ways, when you see somebody after a week it’s like they’re an entirely different person. David O’Neil inspired me last night, talking about how he gets out of bed.

“I don’t wait, man. I jump out of bed as soon as my alarm goes off, I fix my bed right away and I jump in a cold shower.”

I looked around the room, intimidated. My mind calculated too many possible outcomes, as I tried to logically understand what was happening at the Kingpin Social house. 40 students of Social Dynamics made their way in and out of the house throughout the night, every conversation that I walked by was a high level, deep conversation about ideas. The Kingpin Social house has 2 levels, and 3,000 sq ft. There are 2 main living spaces, and within the spaces there is plenty of room for multiple groups to exist in the same environment.

I walked through the two main living spaces, through multiple groups of people. Every group that I walked by was having an intellectual conversation about progress, about love, about appreciation, about growth. The loving energy in the room swept over me and sent vibrations directly to my soul.

I’ve always known Kingpin Social had the potential to change people’s lives, but last night was the first night I’ve ever felt it.

united purposeSeeing a student come into Kingpin Social one way, then seeing him months later a completely different person is a cool thing for me. It means something, knowing that something that I taught, that my team taught, that Kingpin Social taught him had an influence on the course of his life. Seeing 30 students of Social Dynamics in the same room, talking about the life progress they’ve made since taking the bootcamp blew my mind. The energy in the room last night completely changed my perspective on life, and gave me an appreciation for the love that I have in my life.

I take for granted, the social circle that I have. This article is an article of gratitude, to my best wingman Mikey B. To my greatest mentors Kevin Choo, and Cam Adair. To my bestest best friend Daniel Fexa, my favorite female perspective Jamie Hyatt and my driven compadre Myke Macapinlac.

Everything that you guys given me has allowed me to come to this point, where I’ve decided to make the jump into Kingpin Social full time, destroying any comfort zone that kept me from pursing my dream. To everyone who came to IDI last night, thank you for inspiring me.

I realized last night that Social Dynamics is bigger than me, Kingpin Social or any student of Kingpin Social. Social Dynamics is the path to love; love of self, love of others and love of the environment. Relationships = Life, and a relationship is only a relationship where there is an exchange of value. Giving value is based on positive emotion; the strongest of positive emotions being love. Last night at the Kingpin Social house, all I could feel was love. I couldn’t intellectually understand it, linguistically explain it, even express it through this post.

All I can say is that the love that I felt last night inspired me to quit my job, and pursue my dream.

This passion has been brought to you by the influence of my positive environment, for which I’ll be forever grateful. Kingpin Social is helping me face my inner – most insecurities; insecurities that kept me from ever feeling the emotion of love for 19 years. Running from my issues never helped me, and Kingpin Social helped show me how facing every obstacle head first with a learning mentality is the only option.

find love

There isn’t a price that I can put on love, something that can’t be described can’t be purchased. There is only one thing that I can give, because I believe in this purpose. I give my life to the love of Kingpin Social, all of it’s instructors and all of the students of Social Dynamics who want to inspire the best in people; and I thank everyone who has inspired me.