In 2005 a book came out called “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.” Written by Neil Strauss, this book chronicled his journey and encounters in the seduction community. It went on to be a New York Times Bestseller and is one of the most common ways for guys to get into the self-improvement movement.
In the book Neil learns from the top pick-up artist in the world, ironically named “Mystery.” (I know I know, bear with me.)
To be honest, every person who reads this blog owes a lot to this fellow. If it weren’t for his commitment to learn how attraction works (and ultimately for this book to come out), many of us would not be where we are today. Although we all agree that pick-up is flawed, pick-up also opened peoples eyes to look deep within themselves and make the changes they wanted to make. And to be honest… in the very least, pick-up has been a great contrast to the way you should actually operate, through Social Dynamics.
Although we do owe a lot to Mystery, he does have some advice I disagree with, and I believe holds people back. I want to deal with one today.
Don’t introduce yourself to women even if you’ve been talking for a few minutes. When a woman asks your name, it’s a sign that she is interested in you.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I can understand what he’s trying to do here; I just think it’s fucking stupid and ineffective.
When meeting a stranger, it can be uncomfortable situation. This is why having a good sense of humor is such a money quality to have. If you can make someone laugh, it breaks the ice and allows that person to be more comfortable in your presence.
A similar affect happens when you know someone’s name: you feel more comfortable with them. You feel like you know them; like they are a friend. As people become more comfortable with each other, they begin to open up. The possibility of you two forming a genuine, real connection has now increased.
Things are moving in the right direction.
But how will I know if she likes me?
This is a good question, but what you have to realize is that her asking for your name may be an indicator of interest, but that isn’t guaranteed. There are much better signs to know if someone is into you or not. That’s a topic for another day, but for now just understand this: If she’s talking to you she’s interested on some level. That may not be romantically, but she’s still interested enough to continue talking to you. This world is a busy place, and (especially if you’re at a nightclub), there are many other things people can be doing in that moment. So if they are spending time with you, they’re interested. Now it just comes down to going with the flow and escalating. The foundation of an emotional connection is a great foundation for any type of relationship.
When you introduce yourself to someone, they become that much more comfortable with you. On the contrary if you want to wait until they ask for your name, you may not end up getting that sign of interest because the awkwardness of meeting someone new may be too much to handle. The reward when she asks for your name is minimum at best; so don’t waste your time. Just introduce yourself immediately and with confidence. Say your name with power, it is YOUR name after all.
And remember, any time you read advice from guys like Mystery or anybody else (including myself, Brian), make sure you take the time to dive deeper in and see if what they are saying is retarded.
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