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Video games are without question one of the hardest and biggest obstacles to overcome when you first get involved in a journey of self-improvement.
I think we can all agree that they are also a major cause as to why you lack the skills necessary to attract women, network, and live the life you want to live, instead of the one where you feel stagnant procrastinating at home night after night.
When you have nothing else to do on a Friday night, what do you do? You play video games.
When you come home tired after working 9–5, what do you do? You play video games.
When you’re looking to just relax for a minute and kill some time, what do you do? You play video games.
And soon this turns into a major addiction, and one of the hardest ones to break.
Disclaimer: this article is for people who have a desire to quit playing video games (or want to help someone they know who is addicted.) If you aren’t looking to quit, then this article is not for you.
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The tragedy is that many of the people playing video games night after night are aware of this too! They want to quit but don’t know how. (If this is you, you’ve come to the right place.)
One night you decide you have had enough and you try to quit. Maybe you even type “How to quit playing video games” into Google.
What do the tips say? A bunch of crap that doesn’t work at all, because the people who wrote the articles wrote what the obvious tips would be:
- Don’t quit playing them completely, just limit your time.
- Spend more time studying.
- Eat healthier and drink more water.
- Go to a friends house, or to the mall.
What the fuck? Would anybody actually do any of those? Seriously. These people are clueless.
People aren’t going to stop playing video games by studying more. The reason they are playing video games is to avoid studying! Going to a friends house seems like good advice, except their friends are likely also playing video games, so now you are just making the problem worse, and limiting the time you play never works at all.
Does anybody like hearing that predictable advice anyways? I don’t know if you’re like me, but when I read that predictable advice it just pisses me off. Straight up. These people are clueless to the real problems.
An example of this is the common advice given to people that are overweight – specifically the ones who are overweight and could do something about it..
What’s the common advice you get when you’re overweight? “Eat healthier and run.” Does that work? Absolutely. But a major reason these people are overweight is because they’re lazy. (I know it’s not the only reason, but let’s be real here, it’s a major one.)
If someone is lazy, are they really going to go running? Are you kidding me? I’m an athletic guy, I’m driven, and the amount of effort it takes me to go for a run is tremendous. If I were overweight, running would be a huge challenge for me.
Again, eating healthy is good and all, but that takes effort too, and changing your eating habits is not exactly an exciting proposition – which is why a ton of people don’t do it. So that advice sucks too.
The right advice is to find a solution to the actual problem: their laziness, lack of drive, lack of self-worth, lack of self-esteem, etc. Figure out that problem and you have a better chance of getting that person on a treadmill. Make sense?
Moving on…
Now, before I get into the nitty gritty of this article, let me first prove to you that I am a credible source on this topic. I don’t want to be another one of those clueless people I talked about above giving advice on this topic when I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Why should you listen to me?
Growing up I played video games as much as I possibly could. It got to the point where I would refuse to even do any chores around the house because that would take time away from playing video games.
I didn’t play video games casually either; I played them to an extremely competitive level, competed in tournaments and ran one of my teams like you would run a business.
My video game career (I’m not kidding, I viewed it as a career) began playing the original version of Starcraft when it first came out. From here I moved onto Counterstrike 1.6, which ended up being the game I would play the most.
I competed competitively in Counterstrike 1.6, playing in both CAL and CEVO leagues. At one point I was an Admin for the CEVO league.
My CS 1.6 team would practice every day between 4-8 hours (as a team). When we weren’t practicing as a team, I would practice on my own. I took that game so seriously I actually took lessons for it from one of the best guys in the world.
To improve my play I would study game film. I did whatever I could to get better. I played competitive CS 1.6 for many years.
After my CS 1.6 career ended, I started to play World of Warcraft. For the next year I played this game 16 hours a day, every day.
If I didn’t have better things to do, I would login to my account and show everybody the total number of days played vs. the number of days I was active in the game. It would blow their mind. I’m not kidding: I played 16 hours a day every day for over a year.
I had the #1 ranked hunter on the server I played on, and after transferring to a new server (one of the more popular ones), I was recruited by a top 10 guild in the world to be on their roster.
Before joining this guild I decided to quit the game. This was right around the time that I decided to make a few last ditch efforts to save my relationship (which didn’t work).
Shortly after I met some friends which kick started my journey into self-improvement and the life I live now. I started to play “DOTA” for a few months before I decided to take my life more seriously.
I knew the absolute only way this was going to be possible was if I stopped playing video games all together, so I decided that was exactly what I was going to do, and in October 2007 I quit them cold mother fuckin’ turkey.
I didn’t touch a video game at all for almost two whole years. Was I tempted to? Of course! There were days when I had a massive desire to go play, but I had to stay committed to not touching any of them no matter what.
If a friend invited me over to play, I would decline. If people at my house were playing, I would go do something else. It took a strong will but I was eventually able to break the habit, and as time went on, it became easier and easier. The temptation faded.
Which brings me to the first and absolute most important puzzle to quitting video games: You must have a firm commitment to not play them.
You can’t limit your time; you can’t use it as a reward. You must quit cold turkey, 110%. You must make that decision. You must make the decision not to touch them at all ever again. I’m not talking about making this decision like you make other decisions, which you aren’t really serious about. I mean, you seriously have to mean it.
If not, you will end up playing them again and again, wasting your days playing some stupid video game, justifying it in a thousand different ways.
A firm commitment is absolutely crucial, but it isn’t enough.
This is something I found out in September 2009, when I started to play them again.
I had just moved to Victoria, BC. I moved out there to get away from Calgary and to experience something new. It was also a challenge to myself to see if I could move to another city and make new friends. At least that’s what I told myself at the time, but the main reason (looking back) that I moved was in order to escape from the life I was living.
I had just moved into a new house with two roommates who I didn’t know very well.
A day or two after I moved in, one of my roommates, Ben, and I began to discuss our previous involvement in competitive video games, specifically the game Starcraft. I mentioned how I took the game very seriously and “was very good”.
He joked about buying the game again so we could play. I told him not to do it, because I wasn’t playing any games anymore.
Later that night as I was working away on my computer, he came home and placed Starcraft in front of me. He had gone out and bought it. He thought this was funny. I was laughing on the outside but inside I was pissed. I knew this was going to end poorly.
I gave in and played a few games with him, where he absolutely crushed me.
I don’t think he was expecting me to react the way I did.
Humble in defeat I made the decision to do whatever it took to make sure I could crush him anytime I played him from here on out, without cheating of course.
For the next 5 months I played Starcraft 12-16 hours a day. I would spend my time studying strategy, watching film, and playing as much as I could. I pretty much did nothing else. I improved rapidly, and as I began to get better Ben started to play more and more as well. By the end our games became extremely intense.
Why did I get so serious about Starcraft again?
The second and third pieces to the puzzle explain it perfectly: video games are a challenge.
And being challenged can be an extremely motivating factor for someone. The challenge of the game is one aspect to why you become as addicted as you do.
They also provide an avenue where you can see constant, measurable growth.
Just look at two of the best and most addictive games out right now: World of Warcraft and Modern Warfare 2. In both games, you level up (constant measurable growth). It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that leveling up is a very addicting aspect to the game.
After 5 months of doing nothing more than playing Starcraft all day long, I moved back home to Calgary.
When I got back home, I still didn’t have much to do, other than work and party (something which I wasn’t overly interested in at the time), so what did I do? I started playing Modern Warfare 2. This went on for a few months before I ended up quitting games again and since then (March 2010), I haven’t touched any video games.
And I highly doubt I will ever again.
Now there’s one last core piece to this puzzle. On there own, all the pieces I’ve talked about thus far are important and do a lot of damage independantly, but this last piece is the real x-factor: all good games are social.
The social aspect of these games is what really draws you in. That’s why playing a non-multiplayer game is fun, but only for a limited time. Eventually you get bored and do something else. But the games that keep you around for a long time are the ones that are social.
Think about World of Warcraft, or Modern Warfare 2. These games added a major social aspect to each game, and that is why they have millions of players worldwide, millions of players who play them for a long long time.
You no longer have a reason to go out and meet people if you can just log into a video game that is a ton of fun, let’s you escape from reality, let’s you see constant measurable growth, and continues to challenge you every time you play. When you are still interacting with people, staying home on a Friday night doesn’t look so bad now does it?
If you look at the best and most addicting games out there, they all comprise these core pieces. They are challenging, but you can also see constant growth and improvement over time. They allow you to escape, even if only temporarily. They are social.
So now you’re thinking:
“Ok Cam, this all makes sense, I understand how these games are operating and the areas of my life they are filling, but how do I stop playing video games and start living my life!?”
Well, other than having that firm commitment, you need to fill all four of these areas with new activities.
But don’t forget you play video games because you enjoy them, they are fun, so you can’t fill any of these areas with things that you don’t enjoy!
You have to fill them with activities that you like, ones that you like a lot. You have to have fun doing these, otherwise you will just want to go play video games again, because you aren’t getting the same fix that you were from them.
To recap what these areas are:
- A temporary escape
- Constant measurable growth
- A challenge
- Social
So let’s bounce some ideas around. What activities did I start doing to fill those voids, allowing me to not need video games for that fix?
I started to work on my social skills. This worked out really well. But only because I took it very, very seriously. If I wasn’t out meeting new people, I was at home studying (reading articles, watching videos, talking with people about it.)
This is something I’ve noticed with a few different students of mine. A lot of them like to play video games. This is no surprise. There are some that have been successful in kicking that desire, and others that have not.
The ones that have been successful are the ones that have actually gotten serious about improving their lives, and since I’m going to assume that most people reading this have a full-time job (or go to school), they only have so much time in their day for a few things.
“Social Dynamics” obviously offers all 4 of those areas, which is why taking it seriously works to get over your video game addiction. But it only works if you take it seriously. If you half-ass it, you won’t get the same results.
Social Dynamics is essentially a proactive approach to living the life you want. What’s your dream? (And when I say dream, I’m talking about a lifestyle – which includes a job, an awesome group of friends, a boyfriend/girlfriend you’re crazy about, passionate hobbies, a purpose.)
And that’s the exact reason why the students I’ve had that weren’t able to get over their addiction weren’t able to do it! They didn’t take this new endeavor seriously enough to fill those voids. So they would find themselves bored at home a lot, and when you are bored at home, video games are an easy solution to that problem.
But what if you don’t want to take improving your social skills that seriously. What else could you do?
Well, anything you are actually passionate about will work.
If you want to learn how to play guitar, do it! But remember, playing guitar is missing one key piece: the social side. So instead of playing by yourself in your room all the time, play with a buddy a couple times a week. Start a band or something. That would make a big difference.
Tip: Read through the comments at the end of this article. There are 1,600+ comments and many ask the same question: what do I fill my time with? Download my Free Guide (Oh, and make sure you leave a comment too!)
Any activity you enjoy will work! You just have to find something that you enjoy and take it seriously, whether that’s learning how to socialize, learning how to play guitar, or starting a side Internet marketing business (with a friend!!!).
You just need to make a firm commitment (110%, no half-assing it), and then make sure you fill all four of those voids. Do this and you’re golden!
If you have friends that just sit around all day playing video games… get new friends! It really isn’t that hard. Sure, sometimes that sucks, but you need to remember that this is your life and if there’s anything you should take seriously, it’s just that: your life!
You aren’t going to please everybody, but if they aren’t down with it, they aren’t worth it. Seriously. None of my friends sit around all day playing video games, because we share other common interests. They all want to grow and develop other skills. I have friends that dance. Others that play in a band. Personally, I’m learning how to DJ.
You need to find some type of lifestyle activity that you love. Something you are passionate about. Find this and you’ll seriously never have another desire to play video games. Eventually your life will get to a point where you straight up just don’t even have time to think about playing video games.
I’m extremely busy, and this causes me not to DJ as much as I want, so if I have any free time, I do that! But I also don’t always do it by myself. I have a few friends that share that same passion so we hang out and do it.
DJing allows me to escape from life temporarily and to relax. It’s also a ton of fun, I can see constant measurable growth, and at the same time, it’s always challenging. See a pattern here? I’ve covered all four pieces!
Now I’m at the point where playing video games just seems completely ridiculous to me.
I hope this article helps you guys out. If you take it seriously and implement the principles I’ve talked about, you will be able to do it. You will finally be able to quit playing video games once and for all, giving you the time you need to live the life you want to live.
(Seriously, you can do it! Just look at all of the comments below of guys just like you who have successfully quit playing video games and are happier because of it. This works!)
—
You’re here because you want to quit playing video games.
And over the past four years I’ve worked with thousands of gamers just like you to overcome their gaming problem.
What I’ve learned is that after you read this article there is a difference between those who succeed in and those who do not.
It’s harsh but it’s true. Not everyone succeeds in overcoming their gaming problem.
But what I’ve learned over the past four years is that it all comes down to five simple steps.
The five next steps you need to take right now to succeed in overcoming your gaming problem.
And I’ve put them into an easy-to-read guide for you I call Respawn.
Click the button below to learn more:
SHOW ME THE NEXT FIVE STEPS
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Good article! I am glad that you got out of it and sure I can some how relate to that but not as 100% like you – by playing HARDCORE!
I played CS 1.6, GTA (Series) and NHL – on PC, like I told you I didn’t go to extreme.
Have played SEGA, NINTENDO and all that but still have those like again its all for FUN!
I didn’t escape the gaming world by quitting it all together – I just decided its something I can do once a while and got lots of other things to do like: socialize with people, work, play sport teams, and so long and so forth!
Keep it up Brian – you’re doing AWESOME with out games!
Thanks for the comment Max. I think this article is powerful. It’s actually the *most* viewed article on the whole website haha. Gets a ton of hits from the teamliquid.net nation, which is a big starcraft community.
🙂
This is an excellent article. I like how you define the benefits of video gaming and provide solutions to get out of an obsessive lifestyle that may be limiting. Your language demonstrates that our emotional connections to activities are the drivers, not rational thought and this means that in order to change behavior, we need access healthy options that can make us feel good. Well done!
Thanks for the comment Kelley. I agree with everything you said. Appreciate you taking the time to add your input. 🙂
Really interesting article, I have a very similar story/motivational factors. Competitive games (RTS, FPS) LANs, massively into self development etc
The vice with games is they are so damn accessible and easy to comfort into, but then you could argue so is Fast food and sweets are which I love the taste of but I don’t have sugar all day I have very delicious deserts and make them count quality > quantity.
So the key that i’ve found is real balance, I’ve found that games really motivated me and I get such a europhria of having a team based game that we work together on. The steps I’ve put in place are, I ONLY play with friends (online aswell but with at least friend on teamspeak) and I PLAN to have a game in advance like booking in a night out or a trip somewhere even if its only planing for later in the night because I made myself busy with other things. This puts you in control of the game, You play it rather then it plays you.
A few years ago I blamed video games as the cause of unhappiness and literally snapped my game disc in half, I went cold turkey. I was miserable. I found other outlets (such as improving Game/pickup) But it just wasn’t the same and didn’t work with my values (I prefer your idea of improving your social dynamics)
Still your end point remains true, find something else you like MORE then video games. This is important because Games are consumable media, You Need to create aswell to feel happy. Now that I’ve found that though running a business games don’t seem that important anymore but they are still fun as hell and I love it.
Apologies for the longevity but Im as passionate about this as you are 🙂
Hey Ben,
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
I definitely like your approach to “play the game instead of it playing you.” That’s without a doubt a decent solution if you do want to continue playing video games.
If you recognize the teamwork aspect is something you enjoy a lot from the games, you could definitely look around and find other team based environments to fill your time with instead. Not sure if you’re into sports but that’s one outlet, running a business with other people is another.
this article really helped me see it in a different light! I’m addicted to a game called League of Legends and I have literally uninstalled/ reinstalled it 6 times. BUT now I need to quit cold turkey, I am taking this very seriously and will succeed thanks alot
Hey Robert.
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I’m super stoked this article is receiving the feedback it is; it’s an important topic to discuss in my opinion.
Let me know how it goes or if there’s anything else you learn about the subject. I’d love to write a follow-up.
I totally agree with everything you said but I still have mixed feeling about games. I try not to never play video games anymore because as soon as I start I can’t stop tell I’m the best. I use to be really into counter strike when I was younger then I noticed that when i stopped playing for a while I really sucked. I realized that all good feeling I received when playing games where just a false scene of accomplishment because after spending all those hours at it, I never really gained any practical skills.
On the other hand when I was a kid I started playing this math game and it allowed me to see progressive results giving me a large passion for math that has been with me ever since and has helped me greatly in life. Cam do you think that if used responsibly games could help you practice and gain practical skills in a fun way?
Hey Gunder.
Thanks for the comment. If you are playing games to build skills I think that is ok. Just be careful. That could easily be just a way your mind is justifying you to play games, so keep your learning conscious – but i definitely think there’s some value there.
Good Article!
I myself used to be an video game addict back in my junior high days. What broke my addiction is actually the newer video games like Warcraft and Modern Warfare. A cool and realistic they looked, they had a big learning curve and took a long time to master. As I got more “older and wiser”, my interests changed and I just did not have the time to play these games anymore.
As much as I like to play the old school games (Nintendo, Sega, etc), I just really don’t have the time for them any more. I rather work out and pick up 😉
Hey Cam!
I didn’t know this about you before! Very enlightening! My husband is a gamer and I was wondering about something the article didn’t address…what if you have no reason to quit? If you are married, have kids, take the dog to the dog park and still do all the things people with families do, is there any reason to stop gaming if you enjoy it?
Great post!
Sam
@ Andy, Thanks for taking the time to comment. I’m loving the response this article has received. I definitely agree that with the amount of time needed to master games like Warcraft and Modern Warfare, it can be easy to break your habit. The opposite can also be said though. With these games becoming more in-depth with longer learning curves, they can also be much more addicting and take up that much more of your time. Every time you play you become more invested. This causes you to not want to stop until you DO master it. Scary cycle to be in. Happy to hear you were able to break your habit though. Life is too awesome to be spent playing video games. 🙂 Hope you have a chance to check out some of our other posts.
@Sam, thanks for coming by! I can see where you are coming from. Why quit if you have no reason to? I will answer it with a question of my own: With every hour your husband spends playing video games, what does he really gain from it, other than the pure enjoyment of gaming?
I don’t think playing video games is always bad, and this type of case would be one where you could argue “for” playing video games. However my opinion is this: everyone has obligations they have to meet every day, such as work, school, family stuff, taking the dog to the park. Our time is limited, so it’s my opinion that the free time we do have, ideally we spend it trying to create more free time and more flexibility. We can than use this free time and flexibility to do the things we truly enjoy, like spending more time with our family, etc.
The issue I have with playing video games is that it doesn’t encourage growth. You can play hours and hours and hours of video games all you want, but at the end of it, you will still be the same person you were. Instead if you spent the time you were playing video games doing something else to grow, by the end of all those hours you’d have spent playing video games, you could actually be in a much better position in your life, giving you many more options.
I truly believe you should grow every single day. Whether you’re single, in school, married, have 5 kids, playing on a sports team, or do anything else. You should still grow every day. Every hour you spend playing video games is an hour you are stagnant. Sure you enjoy it, but there’s many other things you enjoy that could also push your growth forward.
Hope that helps. Definitely something to discuss next time we chillax.
The reason why you like video games is a good proxy for why you enjoy (or don’t enjoy) life. I gamed a lot, never competetively though, because I am art minded, I avoid competition and video games were that escape, I didn’t need a human to test myself. Second, I was always more interested in plot, storyline, realism, ie. the creative aspects of the game so whether I won or lost made no difference at all, so long as the process was interesting. All of these things were huge in me discovering who I ought to be IRL, so to speak. Knowing who you are, where you are strongest, and where you are weakest is a huge part of succeeding at real life challenges. Video games let your brain believe you are alive even though you aren’t really.
Needless to say I kindof discovered that I gained nothing from completing virtual goals, and that there was and always is an ongoing game that needs your constant attention if you don’t want to get “owned” . Really there aren’t many things more painful than “failing” in life.
Quitting anything is 1000000 times easier if you have a reason why that is emotionally rooted. Nobody ever becomes the best at anything unless thay have a DEEP SEATED reason WHY strong enough to break you if you don’t fulfill it. Why do supermodels force themselves to eat almost nothing and stand in front of a camera or mirror all day? How boring does that sound? It’s because of their why. Without getting all Sigmund Freud, it’s because they have a fear of being ignored, OR a self-hatred that was develloped during childhood, an intrinsic insecurity that must be hidden away.
[…] the other day I read a blog about how to quit gaming forever. The blog was written by someone who had fallen out of balance and […]
[…] the other day I read a blog about how to quit gaming forever. The blog was written by someone who had fallen out of balance and […]
Hey Liam. Thanks for stopping in and commenting. Agree with everything you said. 🙂
WOW! Thanks a lot Cam. This article really helped me with my game play. I am trying to find other things that I love to do instead of playing video games. I’m so glad I read this. Thanks so much!
Hey Elliot. Thanks for commenting. I’m very glad you found value in the post. Hope you have a chance to check out the rest of the site. 🙂
4000+ hours on WoW (I quit that only to get addicted to something else). 3-4 failed relationships just because of gaming. Thousands of dollars spent. Dropped out of college…
I like the slap in the face that this article provided.
Count me as one of your success stories.
Hey Rich.
I’m super stoked to hear you found value in this post. I appreciate you taking the time to comment and share your thoughts with me. Keep me posted on how your journey goes. Have you had a chance to check out the rest of the site? Any other posts stand out to you??
great job,
I’m addicted to computer games at all..
I can’t stop playing games specially the game DOTA and I have Ventrillio …
It’s a lot of fun and exciting when you play and talk with your friends..
how can you not play w/ that situation???
specially when I get off at work, and feel really really tired,
then I feel deserve to play computer games, it sucks even I’m really really tired and feeling so sleepy, Can’t stop..
I feel like I need to be rewarded ,, which playing computer game..
and also, I need help learning how to pick up some ladies..
because of them…
Hey Rudolf.
Thanks for stopping in and commenting. I’m glad you found value in the post.
I definitely understand the situation you find yourself in. You’ve worked all day, you’re tired. You come home and want to do nothing more than to sit down and relax. Video games seem to be the perfect solution. And in many ways it is. Except for one flaw: it doesn’t help you grow.
Think about it like this:
You work 9-5, get home, you’re tired so you play video games for a bit. then you make dinner, and then sit down and play some more before you go to bed.
You wake up the next day and repeat. This goes on every day. Eventually at work you get a promotion so you make more money. With this money you go on more elaborate vacations for week or two, have a more expensive car, house, material things. You do this for 40 years and then retire. Now aged 60+ and retired, you start actually living your fucking life, doing the things you want to do and love.
Does that make any sense to you? It doesn’t to me. There has to be a better way. And there is.
So with your current life right now, you get home, tired, and want to reward yourself by playing video games. My question is this: at what point in your day are you working towards what you really want to do? At what point in your day do you take time to actively work towards changing your situation, doing what you enjoy/love and chasing after your dreams?
For many people, there is NO time in the day that they put towards that. And that’s why their situation never changes. “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ve get what you’ve always gotten.” So now people will bring up the energy factor. “Well, I want to do all that, but I’m tired, I don’t have the energy.”
And that’s true. I could dive into a rant about how at what point in the day are you not tired? You wake up: tired. You get to work: tired. Lunch hour: tired. Two hours before you finish your workday: tired. You get home from work: tired. You go to bed, tired.
But let’s not even worry about that. What I will say instead is this: when you are working towards your passions and dreams, energy magically appears. “A man grows most tired while standing still.”
About learning how to pick up da ladies, what is the area you are having trouble with right now? E-mail me: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com and we can get this started!
Hey Cam,
Loved every word of your post. I have a unique situation. I have 3 addicting factors all boiled into one. I like to play Madden. I play in ever spare minute I have. I also Gamble with Madden. I have lost over 5,000 dollars and for some reason I still want to continue. So now I have video games and gambling and I also smoke marijuana. That’s a story for another day, but to show you that I am so sick of not progressing in life. I can tell your a very smart person and you put it in words very fluently. I am actually once again quitting because I just can’t take the same old crap anymore. I have sold the game and even told the website I use for gambling to not allow me on. But then I will just come back and they will let me back. I wish they wouldn’t. Well. I am going to try and completely quit this crap. It is the holidays coming up and I would like to start using my energy towards my Friends, Family, Etc. Wish me luck!
Steve
23, IL
Hey Steve. Thanks for coming by and commenting.
I’m happy to hear you are going to quit playing Madden and move on with your life. I believe the key to successfully quitting video games is a determination for a better life. Like I said in a comment above, at some point in your life you have to wake up and realize that the life you are currently living is not the one that will ultimately lead to your success and happiness. What do you REALLY want to do with your life? Is it playing madden, gambling and smoking weed? Or is it something else? If video games aren’t in alignment with what you want to be doing (which, you’ve already concluded they are not), than what is?
The key isn’t to just quit, but to fill that time and energy into new things. Things you’re more passionate about. Things that make you WANT to wake up each and every day. Your attitude can’t be to try and quit video games. Your attitude has to be that today is the first day of the rest of your life.
To use a football analogy: You’ve spent enough time on the sidelines of your life, it’s time to get into the game and play to win. You’re only as good as your last game, so you have to wake up every day and motivate yourself to continue on. Once you get into it, you won’t have an interest in going back. Life is much more fun.
So you mentioned you want to start putting your energy towards friends and family. So this is good, but let’s take it a step further. What’s your game plan? If you played Madden any spare minute you had, you better make sure your schedule is BUSY (but still fun). Also, when you want to have a bit of downtime (which is necessary), what are you going to do instead of Madden?
These are the keys to your success. I’m here to help. 🙂
Hey im 14 and 95% of my free time is video games. I am horrible un social situations and it’s hard to make close friends. I have two friends one Is ALWAYS grounded and the other one just moved 600miles away. So I never really get out of the house and im always playing games. I gave up all hope of getting a girlfriend because I can’t keep a conversation going without feeling tense or running out of things to say. I play sports but im not good any more because I still haven’t hit my growth spurt. How do I quit being such a loser?
Hey Dakota!
What are some activities you enjoy other than sports and video games? Are you interested in Music? Writing? Art of any kind?
I definitely understand how tough it can be to play sports when you haven’t hit your growth spurt. I was in that same position playing hockey for many years as an undersized kid.
Don’t worry too much about getting a girlfriend right now. I know you don’t want to hear this, but you’re young and having a girlfriend right now doesn’t really matter much. Instead, take all the time in the world you can to do the things you enjoy doing and socializing. You mentioned you have a tough time socializing, so I would suggest just trying to socialize a little bit more every day. Maybe start socializing more with parents/teachers instead of students for now. These are people that can hold a conversation already so if you put in that effort to start the conversation (just say hi, and ask how their day is going), they will be able to help you from there.
A question you could ask in your conversations is how to socialize. That’s still one of my favorite questions to ask. I don’t necessarily ask it because they will have the answers I’m looking for, but instead they may just have some ideas to think about.
Try it out and let me know. Definitely respond with some other activities you enjoy. Those will be a good starting place. Also, take the time to find out what you enjoy. You’re 14. Try new things. Experiment. You don’t know what you will enjoy until you try it! That’s definitely something I wish I did more when I was your age.
And remember Dakota, the only person that dictates whether you are a loser or not is you. Make the choice to tell yourself you AREN’T a loser every day, because you aren’t. Remind yourself that you are a good person who is working on themselves and growing. That type of person isn’t a loser to me. 🙂
Dakota,
Wow. Ive been checking back to this article pretty frequently over the last few weeks due to the expanding comment thread, and I have to say that when I saw your post it definitely hit home with me.
First of all, MAD props to you for being able to reach out to other people with honesty, and intent to actually better yourself. I used to be in a very similar boat to you, and it took me a lot of years of working on myself – by myself and struggling before I reached out to other people for help with my growth. I have alot of respect for what you have done, and the actions you have taken themselves are the biggest proof that you are not a loser dude.
A little about myself – Growing up I was like you so eloquently quoted yourself, a loser. I had almost no friends that werent directly related to my sport, and I didnt know the first thing about making friends either. How could someone want to be friends with me? I was shy, reserved, and incredibly lanky and with terrible acne to boot. Girls? You kiddin me? The closest woman to me until I was almost sixteen was my mother. I felt weird, and disappointed that I didnt have close people in my life. I knew deep down, that I was a cool and nice person. I just didnt know how to show that to the world yet.
I agree alot with what Cam mentioned, you are young and now is the time to enjoy the fact that your 14! Take the time to find activitys (outside of the digital world) that you really enjoy doing, and dedicate your time to excelling at them. Trust me, if you take Cam’s advice on this, the girlfriend will inevitably follow, girls like guys who are passionate about the things they do!
To re-iterate what Cam mentioned, If your taking the time to better yourself, you ALREADY arn’t a loser. In time, you will come out of your shell, and let the world know what a bad ass dude you are.
Best of luck man, feel free to contact me @MattWilliam108 on twitter if you wanna chat!
M
Love everything you said Matt. Dakota’s comment definitely hit home with me as well.
Yo fella, 14 your still young bro… alot of kids are into computer games having said that its good you realize there not the here-all end-all of life!! congrats to you! Firstly find your self a hobbie dedicate as much time to this and enjoy it, be your self, youll be confident as your gonna be doing your hobbie, you will also learn to socialise and also be socialising with people of the same interests, dont give-up the games persay- just give them an hour or so a day and not 6-9 🙂 P.S… no such thing as loosers either 😉
Dakota,
First and foremost man, you are a far braver person than most are at 14. I never even thought to ask for help because I had totally given up on the idea of having friends. Sure due to all those years of isolated Friday nights and mountain dew I’ve developed godlike mario kart skills, but looking back I wish I had the strength like you have to ask for some guidance.
The first and best piece of advice I can give, coming from someone whose unlocked the secret ending to Kingdom Hearts, is to unplug/sell every console you have. I know that it’s going to be tragic for a few weeks, but the shakes stop after a while and soon you won’t even remember what a KDR is. This is a good thing : )
After that Dakota, just take some time to make yourself happy. Even if you haven’t hit your growth spurt, exercise is one of the best methods for increasing self esteem. Run, lift, jump rope, climb trees, hunt rabbits, whatever gets your blood flowing. As far as sports go brother, I’d recommend wrestling. It doesn’t matter how big you are because your always competing in the same weight bracket and men whether they willingly admit it or not will bond more after standing in a line naked together and jumping on a scale. Friends are inevitable 🙂
Your only 14 man but it can be hard to see how large the world is sometimes when your focused on the small issues. Friends will come, women will come but these things can only be possible when you stop thinking that your self worth is solely based off of these two things. Find your own happiness first, and then others are going to see how radical you are and want to join in the fun. I’m rootin’ for ya kid!
Wow Steve! Great comment man. Thanks for taking the time to leave your thoughts. I really like the Wrestling suggestion. Wrestling is one of those sports that I find really develops their athletes into work ethic beasts with incredible discipline and drive. Appreciate your support.
Dakota: I know it sounds cliche but Be Yourself. Get out there and create your own persona. Get to meet people and find out what you like to do. When you meet more people, you will feel comfortable with yourself and with others. People will get to see the real you.
You dont have to do this wearing trendy clothes or doing what other people tell you. Live your own life and everything will fall into place.
Dakota,
I’ve looked through the above comments and I want to offer my own story and advice.
When I was your age, I was in what appears to be a very similar position to you. In school, I thought I was a loser, and all I wanted to do was fit in with other kids and be the popular one. No matter what group of people I tried to hang out with at lunch break or even in class, everyone seemed to dismiss me as weird and either ignore me or straight out just pick on me. Bullying was just a part of life for me in my junior high years, and going to school every day was in some ways the physical bane of my existence. What made it worse is that the group of “friends” who I came into junior high with began to act out against me and bully me too, but at least I knew them, so I hung out with them despite the torment.
When I wasn’t at school, I was swimming (for a club) or playing video games. Even at swimming though, I didn’t really have any friends. It was hard to connect with anyone, but at least here no one would shove me or deliberately try to bring me down as soon as I tried to start a conversation or make a comment.
So that left video games.
I got huge into World of Warcraft. A few other guys on the swim team were playing it, so I decided to join in as well. Needless to say, it consumed me. It was so easy to go home and just grind for hours at a time, not saying a word to anyone except the people in my guild and my two friends who played with me. And for two years, it worked. It definitely helped me get through my troublesome junior high years where I was awkward and bullied to my high school years where I was…well…awkward, but at least no one noticed me. Not that it mattered, I fit in where I cared most about anyway…in WoW.
With the bullying that repressed my individualism gone, I was able to think about things and desire things that I had never even considered before due to my negative self-perception…like girls for example. I remember there was this one super cute girl in my bio class too and for the entire first year of my high school career, I would just be debating in my mind over and over again if I should talk to her or not. Even though I thought she was super cute and cool, in my mind there were so many reasons against it. “I’m such a loser, I don’t even have any friends at school. I never go to parties or anything, she’ll never notice me. I know she thinks I’m hideous because I have braces. How can I even talk to her? I wouldn’t know what to say… I’ve never had a girlfriend before, I bet she’ll just laugh at me.” And so on.
It took me 18 months until I finally asked her out, and man, it was hard. I remember my hands were trembling and I couldn’t talk straight and kept looking at the ground…haha. She ended up saying no, but 2 weeks later, I found out that an even cuter girl at swimming had a crush on me. I asked her out, and we had an absolutely phenomenal relationship that lasted over 3 years.
So how does this relate to you?
I didn’t believe myself to have ANY social skills, yet I ended up getting an incredibly cute girl who I thought was “way out of my league.” By just being myself and having the courage to lay everything on the line, I did what I had no idea was even possible in my world.
For the video games: I don’t think they are bad necessarily. I agree with Steve’s comment that a very good way to quit (if that is the best path for you) is to just sell all the systems/games you have, but I realize that’s not always an option. For example, if you and your friend who recently moved away play any games online together (Starcraft, LoL, DoTa, etc.), it can be a great tool to keep in touch with that person via a medium through which you both enjoy and are comfortable with. In addition, once in a while, I don’t think games are a bad thing. I realize that they are a pretty integral part to teen culture, so completely omitting video games from your life might even hurt your ability to connect with others (in some cases).
You seem like a super cool kid Dakota, thank you for having the courage to put yourself out there and if you continue with that courage AND KEEP BEING YOURSELF, you will realize you are the coolest person in your life.
☺
Hey Dakota,
I know right now you feel like your a loser but I wouldn’t worry so much about it right now. Cam said a lot of really good things and I would take them to heart.
But really what is a “loser”? A lot of the time it’s just someone who doesn’t quite fit in by someone else’s standards. If you think of it tho some of the “coolest” people in the world were classed as “losers” growing up. They are either still “losers” or they grew out of it by changing the way they see or do things.
As for girls, if someone really likes you they will like you for you. If they don’t then they arnt worth your time. Remember girls like confidence, find something you do well and show that side of you. Girls are attracted to that. For example if your funny use humor as an ice breaker to find common ground with a girl you like.
Find something that makes you happy regardless of others. Don’t focus so much on
“how do I become cool?!” that creates stress. Focus more on positive things like learning
something new and fun.
Take everything one step at a time and you’ll rock.
All the best!!
Find something that makes you happy regardless of others. If your happy with who you are then others will see that too. Don’t focus on
” how do I become cool?!”
To Dakota
There’s no such thing as being a “loser”. Losers a term put onto a select few by people who are afraid of differences amongst people. They have no idea how hard a small word such as loser hurts someone just for being unique and being their own person. So what you play video games instead of being captain of the football team. Everyones unique in their own way and that’s what shapes us as human beings. Don’t take being a loser as a bad thing. Take it as the recognision your your own person and people recognize that and don’t know how to act accordigly so they attempt to bring you down because they have no satisfaction in the person they themselves are
Dakota,
Wow! I am completely blown away that a 14 year old took the time to ask a really awesome group of individuals on how you can expand socially to help you get where you want to be. That kind of mentality will get you far in life 🙂 Since I know majority of these guys and see how much they have come in to their own it goes to show that their advice is something to really take in to consideration. They have all been where you are now and are super dope guys now- AND I love to surround myself with. As a womans perspective- Matt is right when he says that girls like guys who are super passionate about the things they do. Get out of your room, away from the TV and out in to doing a sport or activity that you can surround yourself with people who are passionate about the same things you are. It doesn’t even necessarily have to be a sport, you can do art, workshops, or volunteer if sports aren’t your thing. However the wrestling idea is a pretty good one! You will make friends effortlessly as passion breeds success and people naturally gravitate to people who are happy and successful.
I went in to dance and met so many amazing people when I felt really alone after a big move. I left a lot of my friends behind so it was terrifying meeting new people but by getting in to new activities it allowed me to meet people who liked the things that I did.
Thanks for commenting and reaching out to us! I would love to see more kids your age take that kind of responsibility for their own growth. You have a lot more strength than you probably give yourself credit for. You’re pretty cool in my books 🙂
J
Wow. All of these responses are great. Thanks for taking the time Andy, MZS, Shama, Aaron, & Jamie. 🙂
wow, seriously your article have blown me away, very relate-able and top quality stuff. you have found all of my subconscious thoughts. Everything you wrote in this article hits me subconsciously, even though I think of it but never really admit it.
This hits me like I was traveling deep down in my past 10 years ago. I remember when I first was introduced to a game called MMORPG runescape in 6th grade. this was at the time I got a new computer. It was a dumb repetitive mouse clicking games, yet us students became friend and we game in the computer lab afterschool, this went on for a while, and we got addicted, but their addiction were not as strong as mine. I was literally consumed by the game and I usually played like 12 hour straight, and usually play games until like 9 pm then do homework and head to bed.
I hide my game window and pretend I was doing homework when my parent comes in my room. I cry now, because I needed help but my mind was sub-consciously wanting me to continue playing video games, it is like a disorder. my grades dropped, kinda obvious but I still continue to do it. I went from the elite excel classes down to the mediocre.
gosh why didn’t fate let me get caught yelled at and be corrected.
while my friends eventually gave up on video game and moved on to sport, I was still delve into the game, it ruined my eyesight pretty bad, and yet I continued. If I do get bored I switch to FPS (CS 1.6) for a while, and then like you said literally making excuse to justify that playing different games have intrinsic value and forget about life.
I barely made it into high school, and I told I would stop, and instead the new Battlefield series came out, and I got consumed by it the “social side” of the mass 64 multiplayer.
I tried to quit many times and majority of the time I halve-assed, no more than two weeks I was getting butterfly and I really needed to play and it felt like a drug addiction, but I’m sure psychologists are disapproving that video gaming addiction is serious.
and mentioning psychologists…I never seeked help nor was my parent really aware of my addiction. they do asked me sometimes but I would harassed them or digress.
The addiction was so powerful because I was an godly FPS player, I literally end up with 50-3 kill death ratio, and it literally made you want to play more and more. I think that why my addiction never stopped,
FPS have all the component you mention, FUN, SOCIAL, CHALLENGE (how to improve), to show off.
I think one of the closest time that I was about to quit for good was when computer video games always have cheaters, aimbotter,hackers etc. But I wasn’t subconsciously trying to quit for good but instead I bought a freaking ps3, omg it made it worse, I blew away summer just sitting at home and playing video game instead of improving on other aspects of life.
I even eventually reject to go out with friend, hang out socially, I even lie to them that I was busy just to play video games. every single afternoon after school was video game.
Even my parents were amazed how I can sit for 18 hour straight at home in front of the computer not moving not exercising, for many years. when I get bored of video game( marginal utility), I go on forums or video game chat and troll it up, and hours goes by, as you mention I sub-consciously don’t want to finish my hw and just want to procrastinate.
Through my teenage year, I have not been very social, and it was extremely detrimental because I rarely spoke or improve my communication skills. I barely read, and it has causes me to have disorder similar to dyslexia. I was extremely trouble forming sentences when I started getting a bit nervous, and broken sentences fragment comes out of my mouth, and people have trouble understanding me. I’m sure you can figure that out by reading majority of my sentences, my grammar lacks in general.
keep things short, I have gamed from MW2,BFBC 2, and the latest battlefield 3. I really want to quit and move on with my life.
I hope you can be my role model.
I found this article completely by chance. I was just searching “why I quit video games” and this came up. Great article. It’s just much easier said than done…. I’m playing Skyrim now. Skyrim is, hands down, probably the best game for a couple of years to come. So as you can imagine, I played it for hours and hours as soon as it came out (Nov 11). The download off of Steam finished over night. I swear, I turned on my computer at 7 AM and played till 10 PM, stopping only to eat lunch. My own mother didn’t know I was at home because my room door was closed the whole time. I played that ENTIRE day and repeated that the rest of that weekend. The 11th was a Friday. Yeah, I skipped class, played till 10, repeated that on Saturday and Sunday. During the week I played as well but not as much since I had class. Weekend came, and I did it all over again. Completely shut out the rest of the world and focused on Skyrim…. Now, it really hit me last night. I was out with my friends (surprising seeing as how I actually went out instead of choosing to play Skyrim) and one of them told me of his new girlfriend. The other told me of a girl he was beginning to make move up on. That’s all great for them and I’m fucking happy for them… But any time they or anyone else for that matter would ask me about the girls in my life, I’d just say some shit like “I’m not into anyone. I don’t know what it is with me.” That has some truth to it. I actually am not into anyone but I think the reason is because of my fucking anti-social gaming habits. I’ve never had a girlfriend, I always make shit awkward with girls, girls have come up to me and I’ve practically rejected them because of my anti-social retardation… All this, I think, is because of my lack of experience. And to experience something, I have to actually be doing it, right? So how can I be doing this something (whatever it is) if I’m gaming all the time? That’s why I just accepted it, I guess. I just accepted that I’m “not into dating and relationships and girls.” I’m not lying here. I actually am not into those things right now and I’m pretty sure it’s because of the gaming lifestyle I’ve built my life around. I don’t know… This is not the first time I’ve been on the fence about quiting either… I mean, years ago when I was a kid, video games were relatively new and I just had school and friends and homework and whatever and life was simple so video games were fine. But now that I’ve grown and I’m in college… I see all these different people, hear about all these different lifestyles, careers, everything, you know? The world is much larger to you when you’re an adult then when you’re a kid, you know? So I’m experiencing all this and every now and then I come online and look up gaming-quitting stories and feel bad about it… Go to bed… And the next day? I’ll probably play some more video games. I don’t know… I know you’ve basically answered this question in your article somewhere where I didn’t take notice, but what the heck do I do?
Thanks a lot for your time.
Hey Junior and TT400.
Happy to receive your comments. I’m glad you both found the article insightful and full of value. I hope you guys can use the concepts within to quit gaming and start living your life to the fullest.
Remember, “the key isn’t to just quit, but to fill that time and energy with new things. Things you’re more passionate about. Things that make you WANT to wake up each and every day. Your attitude can’t be to try and quit video games. Your attitude has to be that today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
So what’s your game plan? What activities can you fill your video game time with? And when you want to have a bit of downtime (which is necessary), what are you going to do?
Fill me in and I’ll help you guys out 🙂
Thanks so much Cam! I really hope this article helps me quit video games all together, and get rid of my addiction.
Thanks for coming Dan. Glad you found value in it. 🙂
Well I find this a hard topic to discuss,
I guess the first step to changing is admitting you have a problem. Im 14 and I feel I have a problem. My reclusive behaviors have cut me off from the world. I still get out and enjoy things with my family, but other then my friends I have met online, I dont really feel like Ive got many other friends. I guess thats ok with me because I think being out of social contact really gives you an appreciation for solitude and peace. I recently had a discussion with my parents about it because I felt it might be getting out of control. They were very supportive and I know I can count on them when I need help. Although, I can’t get but feeling kind of ashamed of myself for what ive done. Im trying to focus on mt music and becoming better at that, but I always have this haunting feeling that ive done something wrong, and that maybe im missing something…
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Blake: Thanks for coming by and commenting. 🙂 I don’t know how I missed your comment before so my apologies for not responding sooner. How have things been going since you commented at the end of November? Have you been focusing on your music like you mentioned you would? Do you collaborate with anybody else on your music? Having a passion for music is great, and will definitely be a worthwhile investment of your time. If you can make it social too, that’s an added bonus! 🙂
Thanks Cam, Like you i’ve been hardcore into computer games, and once i’ve quit one game there is always another BETTER one to play that i find myself hooked on. Like Skyrim which i recently started playing. Since stumbling upon this post recently i have sold my copy of Skyrim, i realise that playing games is not doing me any good at all. I have quit games all together. Thanks for the advice and wish me luck.
I just came to say that after a month from reading this article, I have decreased my gaming time every week till I eventually stopped playing all together. My mind is more clear now and as i look back I dont view gaming as the same anymore, it relays feel like it is a burden and is taken a toll on my life and that I’ve could have better invested the time elsewhere.
Can’t regret it now but to look forward and change myself for the better.
I kinda find it funny that there were so many professional tips and resources for how to stop playing video game but your Article was like the golden ticket, just completely wow, blew me away. Thanks CAM. 我爱你，谢谢。
Hey Nathan- You can do it man! Good luck and keep me posted. Thanks for commenting.
Junior- Super pumped to have you give me an update. I’m glad things are working out well. What are you spending your time doing nowadays instead of playing video games? I definitely feel like the other resources out there -although offer a few good tips- really miss the core of the problem. Keep up the good work. 🙂
– A temporary escape
Vague. How do you define “escape”? Escapism? Does daydreaming, reading fiction or watching TV count as “escape”? If so, nearly everyone does it to pathological proportions. I would dispute that video games are the only problem here. I would count the majority of popular pastimes as “a temporary escape”. Playing video games, social networking, watching videos, sports, music, etc. These are all “temporary escape” from the demands of real life. If you merely shift from one temporary escape to another you are simply shifting the addiction, not curing it.
– Constant measurable growth
You can have constant measurable growth by doing past exam papers. Each question done is a measured growth, and you can measure your ability by checking your exam results. Nobody that I know is addicted to doing past exam papers, or does this appear to be a popular pastime.
Popular addictive games such as Counter-Strike and Starcraft do not provide constant measurable growth. You win one match only to lose another, depending on how good your team is and what strategy the other team decides to pursue. Often game outcomes are decided when one player in one team leaves the game. It is difficult to have constant measurable growth in a game where outcomes depends highly on map, team composition, other circumstantial reasons. Smurfs further destroy the already flawed ranking system.
– A challenge
Pretty much every problem poses a challenge. There are numerous unsolved mathematical problems including:
P versus NP
Hodge conjecture
Riemann hypothesis
Yang–Mills existence and mass gap
Navier–Stokes existence and smoothness
Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer conjecture.
None of these have been resolved and are sure to pose a challenge to anyone (and each has a reward of one million dollars), but I have yet to hear of anyone dying from spending 50 hours on trying to solve these problems.
Why are video games addictive, whilst Millennium Prize Problems are not?
– Social
Video game addiction has little to do with social needs, which are nowdays mostly fulfilled by social networking websites. People used to be addicted to Pacman, Contra or Space Invaders. These were singleplayer games yet were very addictive for some. The addicts competed against their own high scores.
With the advent of multiplayer gaming, players can now compete against players other than themselves, thus vastly increasing the challenge. Unlike the AI, players (good players that is) get better by practicing and learning from past experiences, thus providing more of a challenge.
Also, the social aspect does not explain the increasing popularity of flash games, most of which are single player. Even if you are not addicted to one particular flash game, playing through the numerous games that come out every week takes up a lot of time. Some people spend hundreds of hours trying to get a high score on a singleplayer flash game. This is clearly addiction, yet it has no social aspect.
CAM I am impressed that you’ve managed to reply to every comment so far.
You made me feel a tear of solid diamond in my eye
I was reading vistor comments from 12/24/11 at 8:43 am and thought I had some thoughts to add or respond to their speculation.
*Escapism – By its very nature escapism is vague because it is personal what causes the switch in your mindset that allows you to get away from the stress of the real world. There are escapes that work for one group of people but not another. Playing guitar might allow you to get away whereas I can care less. So really you can only list common ones as examples but it could be anything.
As far as shifting the addiction, the addiction is not just the act of escapism. Video games provide escapism but it is their combined components that can lead down the path of addiction for some people. Working out, sports or social dynamics might allow for escapism but it is not often that they become compulsions leading to not socializing, not sleeping, poor diet or ignoring things that would make the rest of your life better.
* Constant Measurable Growth- As much as some games have broken systems regarding the leveling or stats, most games do allow for you to keep track of how you have personally progressed. In addition most people have some idea if they are getting better at something even if growth slows to a crawl or effectively hits a ceiling. Like the counterstrike example, I knew I was getting better for a long time based on the increasing situations that I could survive through or how many people I could mow down without dying. Honestly by the time I was no longer getting better the addiction hooks were in and all the other points in the article still applied.
If you are getting better at performing a static task or able to accomplish an increasingly difficult task then that for all intents and purposes is measurable growth.
* Challenge- The difficulty of a task has to scale to the current ability of the person. It has to be challenging but doable. If I am starting to workout for the first time ever, put 300lbs on the barbell and then try to bench press it, it will not be long before I give up on working out. Immensely difficult or seemingly impossible tasks are not ones that we continue to pursue unless it is absolutely necessary(survival). The examples listed are beyond the scope of the vast majority of humanity. People want something that is hard but not too hard.
* Social- I would think this is the weakest of the four points regarding what causes video game addiction but it is absolutely important to include for someone trying to find somewhere else to throw their energy into. Video game addictions seem to be able to bypass some social needs but I can’t help but imagine that when looking for new activities back in the real world most people would be more enthusiastic about socializing over going at it alone. Also how many funny or incredible stories start or end with the person telling the story not interacting with any other people around them?
In my opinion the article and the advice don’t necessarily provide or duplicate all the reasons why video games are addictive, but then again I don’t think that is the point. It does provide great advice towards using some of the similarities between gaming and new pursuits. It is easier to create a new habit that pulls you in positive direction than it is to destroy an old negative one.
Also breaking down the points separately (like I am guilty of here myself) weakens their synergistic effect. No activity that provides only one of the listed points would be as successful as any pursuit that that combined more of the points. Which is also the reason that some chores do not become addictive.
Also would have to thank you Cam as you are right that most video game addiction articles do not approach it in a real world manner. So thanks!
This is exactly what i needed!
Thanks.
I often wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn’t brought us home starcraft.
I have learned a lot using video games: I’m a logical, objective, methodical problem solver. I put the onus on myself to improve my situation. I’m decisive and I trust my decision making. I am unattached to outcomes. I’m even a professional poker player and coach.
But I don’t feel good about myself when I sink into a video game time-hole. I don’t feel really bad. I don’t really feel anything. That’s scary. I don’t know if everyone here is like me, but I become totally immersed in the game. I keep challenging myself to improve and get more efficient. I get really really good at the problem. I get to amuse all my dedication, creativity, and perseverance.
Wait… what?
Why am I amusing all of my best tools?
And then Cam made me ask myself:
a)is there a better, different way to learn this skillset?
b)do the positives of video games in your life now outweigh the negatives?
Yes. NO.
It’s time to try things out and find what excites me. So I’ve made myself a mission for week 1 of my January 1st return to Vancouver:
-drop into the local SFU university. Find at least five classes that MAY interest me and sit in on a lecture to introduce myself to the class. It will probably be psych and language classes but I’ll browse everything.
-Make a trip to an ethnic market to buy strange food for a one day cooking adventure. I will cook it with reckless abandon.
I also want to get more involved in this community, improve my writing, take social dance classes(signed up during this post :)), continue rock climbing, try yoga, and start my own bonsai tree. Look how busy I am already! I’m half-chubbed in excitement.
Thanks.
PS: Cam I have a message for you from 2009 Ben, “In the words of Stevie Nicks, ‘players only love you when they’re playing’… Starcraft: Broodwar.”
Hey guys. Thanks for commenting. Definitely some intriguing conversation. I respond to every comment because my perspective is not based on being “right”. It’s not based on validating my ego. My perspective is the one I currently believe to be closer to the goal of having a real framework to succeed in a specific goal – in this case, being able to quit playing video games for good. Each comment is feedback that we can pool together and as a collective ideally get closer and closer towards being able to succeed.
I agree that everything can be defined as “temporary escape”. The argument isn’t about whether the majority of popular past times are also temporary escapism or not. That is without question true. As is the fact that *the majority* of people who play video games are also using it as a way to escape. Something to understand about the post is that these points on their own will lack the ability to stand firm and be the singular cause of someones addiction to video games. It’s the combination of them all.
You should not, and I do not recommend this in my article, simply shift from one temporary escape to another. When you quit video games, it’s incredibly important to fill that newly found free time with something of importance. Something productive. Something you are passionate about, and something that leads to you working on your purpose. The purpose of life is a life of purpose, after all.
In the end, I think “Dunno What to Say” nailed this all very well. I completely agree that this is not the one and be-all post about video game addiction. It’s merely 4 components that, in combination, are a major reason why it does exist, and why it’s so hard for people to get out of it. If your goal is to quit video games, the chance you have of success is much greater by filling the time with an activity with similarities, albeit one that is productive and towards your purpose as I stated above.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I’m happy this conversation is continuing.
>By its very nature escapism is vague because it is personal what causes the switch in your mindset that allows you to get away from the stress of the real world. There are escapes that work for one group of people but not another. Playing guitar might allow you to get away whereas I can care less. So really you can only list common ones as examples but it could be anything.
It could be anything, but most people tend to engage in the common ones such as watching television, reading fiction and playing games. In my opinion these are all as bad as each other in terms of practical value generated.
>As far as shifting the addiction, the addiction is not just the act of escapism. Video games provide escapism but it is their combined components that can lead down the path of addiction for some people.
I disagree. Any activity that provides escapism is usually addictive. Watching television or reading fiction for example can be very addictive and destroys lives.
>Working out, sports or social dynamics might allow for escapism but it is not often that they become compulsions leading to not socializing, not sleeping, poor diet or ignoring things that would make the rest of your life better.
I don’t think working out provides escapism for many people, I find it difficult to imagine how people can become lost in the “world of working out” as opposed to the World of Warcraft.
>As much as some games have broken systems regarding the leveling or stats, most games do allow for you to keep track of how you have personally progressed. In addition most people have some idea if they are getting better at something even if growth slows to a crawl or effectively hits a ceiling. Like the counterstrike example, I knew I was getting better for a long time based on the increasing situations that I could survive through or how many people I could mow down without dying. Honestly by the time I was no longer getting better the addiction hooks were in and all the other points in the article still applied.
If you are getting better at performing a static task or able to accomplish an increasingly difficult task then that for all intents and purposes is measurable growth.
You have defined not Constant Measurable Growth but Measurable Growth. For Measured Growth to be constant there must be an external as opposed to internal mechanism of checking progress. RPGs and MMORPGs provide this in the form of player stats, which improve with more play. Multiplayer FPS and RTS games can often have a ranking system but as I said this is most often broken. For example in AoM players are usually asked “rr?” after entering a room, where “rr” stands for real rating (a likely estimated value) because the AoM rating system completely fails. Also in Starcraft, the vast of majority of UMS players (and I only play UMS) have the same rating of 1000, thus making it impossible to know who is a pro and who is a noob. Even in ladder games, players with low ratings very often beat players with high ratings. Your mental idea of your skill level is neither Constant nor is it Measurable.
>The difficulty of a task has to scale to the current ability of the person. It has to be challenging but doable. If I am starting to workout for the first time ever, put 300lbs on the barbell and then try to bench press it, it will not be long before I give up on working out. Immensely difficult or seemingly impossible tasks are not ones that we continue to pursue unless it is absolutely necessary(survival). The examples listed are beyond the scope of the vast majority of humanity. People want something that is hard but not too hard.
This does not invalidate my point. Maths problems can range from easy (1+1=?) to impossible. There is a wide range and available of problems to pick from, easily accessible from the internet.
My point is why do people play video games instead of doing maths problems of equal difficulty? Most people are not addicted to puzzle games and are instead addicted to FPS games which do not really provide much of an abstract challenge, only activation of the sympathetic nervous system. RPG and MMORPG games do not provide any mental challenge at all and are basically just mindless grinding for XP and items.
>Video game addictions seem to be able to bypass some social needs but I can’t help but imagine that when looking for new activities back in the real world most people would be more enthusiastic about socializing over going at it alone. Also how many funny or incredible stories start or end with the person telling the story not interacting with any other people around them?
Telling stories is an inherently social activity – you are telling a story to amuse someone else. Playing Space Invaders or Pacman is definitely not – you are killing aliens and eating ghosts by yourself.
>In my opinion the article and the advice don’t necessarily provide or duplicate all the reasons why video games are addictive, but then again I don’t think that is the point.
Causes of video game addiction should first be elucidated before a cure can be established.
>It does provide great advice towards using some of the similarities between gaming and new pursuits.
And the similarities may be so great that the new pursuits are not much more productive than gaming itself.
>It is easier to create a new habit that pulls you in positive direction than it is to destroy an old negative one.
It is always easy to shift addictions, not so easy to break them.
>Also breaking down the points separately (like I am guilty of here myself) weakens their synergistic effect. No activity that provides only one of the listed points would be as successful as any pursuit that that combined more of the points. Which is also the reason that some chores do not become addictive.
Breaking down the points separately is how science works. You have to be controlling for all variables EXCEPT the one you’re trying to investigate, otherwise you do not know which variable caused the result, thus making any conclusion useless.
>I agree that everything can be defined as “temporary escape”. The argument isn’t about whether the majority of popular past times are also temporary escapism or not. That is without question true. As is the fact that *the majority* of people who play video games are also using it as a way to escape. Something to understand about the post is that these points on their own will lack the ability to stand firm and be the singular cause of someones addiction to video games. It’s the combination of them all.
RPG games lack both the social and the challenge aspects. RTS and FPS games lack the constant measurable growth aspect. Perhaps the only thing RTS, FPS and RPG games have in common is the escapism aspect.
>You should not, and I do not recommend this in my article, simply shift from one temporary escape to another. When you quit video games, it’s incredibly important to fill that newly found free time with something of importance. Something productive. Something you are passionate about, and something that leads to you working on your purpose. The purpose of life is a life of purpose, after all.
In other words you are recommending breaking the addiction instead of simply shifting it. Whilst this is the ultimate solution, it seems to be beyond the ability of the majority of addicts. How many times have your parents told you to stop playing games and do something productive with your time? How many times have you actually listened? I suspect not many. The same is true with the vast majority of addicts. You see, an addiction is not just a habit, it’s an extremely persistent habit that actively refuses to be exterminated. When you quit an addiction for even a few days, you experience withdrawal symptoms that make you think twice about quitting that addiction. Eventually the temptation is too great and you relapse. The cycle continues.
>In the end, I think “Dunno What to Say” nailed this all very well. I completely agree that this is not the one and be-all post about video game addiction. It’s merely 4 components that, in combination, are a major reason why it does exist, and why it’s so hard for people to get out of it. If your goal is to quit video games, the chance you have of success is much greater by filling the time with an activity with similarities, albeit one that is productive and towards your purpose as I stated above.
As I have already said, these 4 components are not present in all video game addictions, the only factor in common with all video game addictions is escapism.
Video games are a catch all term for a delivery method in the same way that a bottle can carry beer, water or soda.
The things that make them addictive are not going to be the same from genre to genre. They all would have different aspects that would make them addictive to different types of people.
This would probably be the reason that I was bored by puzzle games, liked regular RPGs and strategy games, while I loved FPSs and equally loved the shallow RPGs (here’s looking at you Diablo!). Likewise your favorite genres could be completely different.
It seems that certain genres lead to addiction more than others, which probably has to do with certain traits that are hardwired into most people to some degree or another.
Two reasons that I can think of that video games are addictive other than what is listed in the article are probably not what you want to bring to future endeavors:
Delivery Method- Internet use by itself is found to be habit forming for a lot of people. Video games use the same method but amplified. Rewards for actions tend to be immediate, extravagant and frequent. As your brain grows accustomed to this type of feedback other real world feedback can feel slow and numb.
Gambling Mechanisms- Grinding out your WOW character long after the rational side of your brain would love to do something else ? WOW/Diablo type games piggyback on the same principle that causes gambling addiction. But instead of once every couple of minutes it then hammers your brain with it a couple dozen times a minute.
Also something to possibly add as a positive thing to add:
Competition- Who doesn’t give a little something extra when they are competing against someone? Even friendly competition adds the amount of focus that someone brings to an activity.
You could break down each genre separately and based on personality type.
Lets say WOW for example. Someone lonely might grow addicted to the escapism and the social aspects of the game. Someone predisposed towards gambling addiction or maybe likes the feeling of succeeding would fall into the measurable growth and item grinding aspects of the game. A FPS is escapism, challenging(competitive) ,social with some measurable growth which delivers feedback at a quick and consistent pace.
I don’t believe there is a magic bullet for what makes games addictive. You can break them down to their individual variables but that doesn’t mean it is only one variable that makes them addictive. It might depend on what the persons personality is combined with a certain type of game.
Think of it this way. You ask me why I like my girlfriend. I tell you that she is hot, sex drive of a rabbit, funny as hell, doesn’t lose her shit over small things that don’t matter. I broke down why I like my girlfriend into four variables. You can’t insist on which one is the reason I like her because one without the others and there is a good chance I don’t feel the same way about her.
Much like which game mechanics encourage addictive behavior varies from game to game, there are probably different life circumstances as well as genetics that make someone more susceptible to addiction.
Which is why I would think there are two sides to quitting an addiction. One is the withdrawl symptoms that can persist for awhile after. Those are things like the itch to play again even when you know you shouldn’t, everything feeling boring ect. Thats why people say you need to actually be ready to quit. You need to be vigiliant on keeping away from games and be willing to push through the uncomfortable feelings. It will subside but it can take time for some people.
The additional things to deal with would often be loneliness ,depression, bordom or whatever it is you need escapism and gaming for in the first place.
You cannot back away from the addiction without replacing it with something. If video games were what you did with most of your free time then you better have something in mind to replace it. You can only stand to be bored or lonely out of your mind for so long until you will boot up your favorite games again.
Having a new passion to move to doesn’t only keep your mind distracted from the games it also establishes new habits other than gaming to throw your energy into.
This is what article attempts to address.
One other thing I speculate about is that the more interests you have the less susceptible you would be to a mental addiction. If I play in a band, work out and occasionally surf, I would be less likely to have video games ever be more than a distraction in my spare time.
Great comment. 🙂
Hey Cam,
Happy New Year. As 2012 started, I vowed to myself that I would stop gaming once and for all. For a while now I have been gaming and have only just recently admitted that I am addicted. This article (especially how you were in my position) has given me the strength that I need to really quit. You have changed my life, thankyou.
Yours,
Will
Hey Will.
Thanks for commenting. Happy New Year to you as well. You’re going to do great. Keep me posted on your progress. 🙂
Dunno what to say – I disagree with most of your points but I no longer think it’s worthwhile to debate them, since they are not really relevant.
I agreed with “Those are things like the itch to play again even when you know you shouldn’t, everything feeling boring ect. Thats why people say you need to actually be ready to quit. You need to be vigiliant on keeping away from games and be willing to push through the uncomfortable feelings. It will subside but it can take time for some people.”
I am a recovering addict myself and have felt these feelings, and they have now mostly subsided.
I have made the decision to quit games forever so I will never be a game addict again. Or an addict to anything that I can identify.
I now fill my time with everything I had put off – exercise, reading, writing, socializing etc.
The most important thing is that you quit the addiction. New hobbies will automatically fill the void. Don’t expect an addiction to quit by itself – it won’t. You actually need to be continuously denying the urge to play. It is at first hard and it will be painful – accept it.
So heres the thing man, I just quit gaming for the year of 2012. Just to see what happens. And with my spare tie I decided to do a little research on others who have quit gaming and came across this page. And wow, so if I quit gaming I could become a whoremongering, over-ego, disc jockey who proclaims his righteousness in the fact that he quit looking at something that intruiged him. I was rooting for you at the beginning of this article, but holy shit man. All the pictures of hot chicks playing games I thought you were building up to a point, but it turns out your just another dude chaising tail, and games were getting in the way of another addiction.
-This article made quitting that much harder. Thanks for that.-
You want to do something worth while with your time? Help one of those chicks whose life you’ve fucked up just a little bit more. Think about that shit. Woman want to please, and they will do so to theyre own ends. You take advantage of that, and honestly the world was probably alot better when you were harmlessly gaming day in and out.
You aint nothing more than a crack addict whose found the light in meth.
Massive thanks to you CAM, made an actual difference. I’ve completely stopped. I’am Doing something I actually enjoy instead of wasting my time on games, which is DJing as well. This article is really well worded and works, instead of all the other ‘obvious tips’ bullshit that you mentioned
Thanks
Seb
I’m not sure where you disagree Visitor. I actually appreciated the questions because if anything they further refined what I think about gaming addiction. I don’t think I ever tried to indicate that quitting was easy or that being dedicated to quitting wasn’t the most important part.
It is ridiculously hard at first. At least it was for me. When I tried quitting for the first time I actually can remember where everything else I tried doing just felt boring and lifeless.
You picked up good hobbies but it is just as easy for people to fill their time with tv watching ,more mindless web surfing or maybe just wasting more time with friends. Actually you said something similar yourself.
Awesome that you quit either way.
Hey guys. THanks a lot for coming by and commenting. I appreciate all the feedback!
Visitor- I agree with what you say. Although the 4 areas are important to fill, you still need to make sure you make the decision to quit the addiction too, and continue to deny that urge. Activities alone won’t do it. Conscious effort is the only way.
Rob- I appreciate you coming by and commenting. I have to admit, I’m somewhat confused with your comment. I don’t know what girls you are speaking of that I have “fucked up”. I’m currently in a very good healthy committed relationship, and definitely am not out there chasing tail. I’m unsure what part of my post was misunderstood, but I’m happy to clarify it if you help explain yourself better. Either way, I wish you the best of luck quitting video games.
Seb- Happy to hear the post helped you out. Stoked to hear about another DJ! What kind of music are you spinning? I post my mixes up on soundcloud, and would be happy to connect with you and listen to your stuff. Let me know. 🙂
Dunno what to say- I really appreciate you taking the time to help reply and contribute more to the conversation. Your insight is valuable to me. 🙂
thank you for writing this. I was playing hardcore the same as you, but after reading this article i decided that i need to do something with my life, and to really start having a life, instead of just letting it pass by me when i sit every day and night playing video games.
I started exercising, and i have more time to study and develop a career, so thanks for the eyeopening article.
Hey Dan. Thanks for popping in and leaving your comment. I appreciate you taking the time. Exercising is a great start. Now that you are getting active, you’ll find you have that much more energy to work with. Great job.
When it comes to wasting time, something that really hit home with me was this:
“You can waste money and get it back, but you can’t do the same with your time.”
Have you had the chance to check out any of our other articles??
Cam, I’m very happy to have found this article. It almost scares me how alike me and you are.
I progressed through my gaming career the exact same way as you did. I started with 1.6, competed in CAL/LAN’s, ran a team, developed strats for a couple hours a day, practiced controlling recoil and twitch shots for an hour a day, put said strats into practice with my team, then practiced them to perfection in countless scrims a day. When CAL died I moved to CEVO, as well as starting up with my DOTA career. I’ve lost many relationships to gaming, and I used to boast this to people, as if it made me that much better of a human being.
I managed to quit for a year when starting up a new career, but unfortunately this career is seasonal, and sometimes the work runs out over winter. That happened this year, and over Christmas I reinstalled CS, reunited with my old friends/teammates, and in the last month I have done nothing productive, gained weight, found my teenage zits to be returning with a vengeance, and failed to do any work on the car I’m attempting to restore for spring this year.
I’ve re-read your article 3 times now and committed it to memory, and applied 90% of it to my own situation. I do however have a few more issues that I would love to get some feedback on.
First off, I’ll let you know what I PLAN to do to fill the void. In my younger years, I used to play soccer. Not just play it, but compete at a national level, and play in the top division and premier league here in Saskatchewan. That was until a minor knee injury that should have only put me out for a few months. Unfortunately I discovered smoking and Counter-strike in those few months. I hope to get back to that level of play, although I know this will take a couple years.
My other hobby is fixing old imports/drifting. I’m an enthusiast, but unfortunately, my gaming career put a major halt on fixing my car, let alone driving and competing with it. Another major issue with that plan is being in Saskatchewan. Unlike Victoria, we don’t have year round drift events. We don’t actually have a track that allows them.
My third issue, is my current girlfriend is everything that a gamer wants, not someone who plans to have a life. She’s pretty, nice, understanding, but terribly addicted to video games/social media(tumbler, twitter, facebook, thedailywh.at, cracked.com etc..), and she is very lazy/messy. She doesn’t clean, she doesn’t eat healthy, she’s never played sports, but aside from her bad habits, she’s an incredible girl.
Now, putting all these issues together, I’ve got quite the pickle. My soccer team/league is 4 hours away from Saskatoon, in Yorkton. Drifting/Car culture is pretty much non existent here in Saskatchewan, and BC or Alberta seem to be the only logical choices. (Victoria would actually be my first choice, due to year round events and plenty of people to mingle with). But then there is the girlfriend. I love her, but I don’t think she will be willing to/able to change her lifestyle, or fit mine into hers.
What is a guy to do?
Any help would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
Jordan
Hello and I need some advice. Im a girl, 13 years old. I spend alot, alot of time playing video games. And its for a long time. 2-4 years around. I just play play and play. And those games are usually non-multiplayer games, because when I play multiplayer games, they quickly get boring, then I jump to single-player. After few days I decided to cold turkey, and look for some advice in internet. I stumbled upon your article, and it helped a bit. Im still lost, I really want to start studying, because I know my grades had dropped, and I don’t know what to do. I’m not lazy, I go doing sports (swimming). I played Runescape, CS, MC(minecraft), and lots of shooting games, which are all single-player. Its the thing I don’t have a giant motivation to drop it, and my self-esteem is low. I have few friends, but I don’t really hang out with them. Please help if you can 🙁 Thanks alot.
Camila – Only you can choose to stop playing games. Make the choice and stick to it.
You’re welcome.
Hey Jordan. I’m not Cam(er obviously) but I have been following the comments to this article lately as it is a topic that I have a lot of interest in. Hope you don’t mind me giving my two cents on your questions. Actually hopefully Cam doesn’t mind either for that matter.
Is it possible to reach out to others to see if there are like minded people that have an interest in drifting around you? At the very least you can find others that are looking to work on cars or possibly travel to events with? Is it at all possible to convince any of the local tracks to allow drifting if there was enough of an interest? Is it possible to become the catalyst for such a community?
Regarding your concerns about your girlfriend, I can think of two angles to this. Apologies if these are harsh in anyway.
First is to imagine the kind of life you want and then to ask yourself how much personal sacrifice is your girlfriend worth to you? Is she special to the point you are willing not to push forward with the things you listed if it meant losing her?
Secondly and regardless of your answer to the first question, realize that you never know how things will unfold. If you succeed in reaching your goals you don’t know how that will effect your girlfriend. She might be motivated by watching your success and realize that she wants her life to have less internet and more of other pursuits. The two of you move forward branching into new directions and have an amazing life together that makes all the people around you envious. Or maybe she will grow to resent your renewed interests and your relationship will crash and burn.
I’m guessing you are moving forward one way or the other so why not try to bring her along?
Jordan- Thanks for popping by and commenting. It’s funny man. There’s been a lot of comments on this post (this will be #70), and more so I’ve received a countless number of e-mails from readers of the article, and the same parallel is drawn each time: how much we all have in common.
Reader Dunno what to say (I wish I had a name for him- haha) nailed everything on the head well already. The one thing I will add to his comment (and Jordan, I will still be responding to your e-mail shortly), is that if there’s one thing more important than anything else in a relationship, it’s your personal happiness. So the big question you need to ask yourself is: are you happy? If not, then you need to make decisions – whatever they may be – to make sure you are, in fact, happy. That always has to come #1. If you aren’t happy your relationship won’t be successful, that’s a guarantee.
So maybe you just start focusing on you more and focus on growth instead for now, and that inspires your girlfriend to follow suit. And if she doesn’t, maybe that makes it easier to move forward without her. If she does, perfect. Just make sure you aren’t staying in a relationship out of fear, or staying in it because it’s comfortable. The difference in your life’s success will be determined by the amount you step up to the plate and face adversity, with an unwavering relentless pursuit of success. Failure isn’t an option in your growth.
Camila- Thanks for stopping in and commenting. There’s nothing more inspiring to me than seeing someone of your age being assertive to reach out for help. You are an inspiration to me.
What I would suggest is similar to what Sage said: make the commitment to quit 100%. Now, what other activities do you enjoy? Do you enjoy drawing? Writing? Reading? Are you interested in music? Playing an instrument? What about art? Painting maybe? These are productive activities that you could spend time on that could make you happy. You need to focus on finding something you are passionate about. I would suggest trying many new things. Find a few that you enjoy and focus on those. As for studying, the motivation to study needs to come from a desire to learn. If you focus on your interest in learning and growing, studying becomes much much easier. Learning is FUN because learning expands your mind and makes your life better. Develop a love for learning and school will be much more fun.
Sage- Thanks for commenting. I appreciate the support. 🙂
Hope that helps you all. Definitely keep me updated. You can send me an e-mail if you want: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
Thanks Cam and DunnoWhatToCallYou,
It’s funny, before either of you responded, I already came to the same thoughts and plans.
As for finding like-minded car enthusiasts here, I already know of some, and I plan to make an attempt to become better friends with them. As for the getting practice time/events anywhere, that is a next to impossibility. We’ve tried many a times over now, and none of the major venues will consider.
The one small town place that we had an event at before was actually a go kart track (Although big enough for 4-door sedans to slide sideways through), and was a really great turn out and event. Unfortunately, one of the drifters was dating the owners daughter, and things went sour. Now the owner hates everyone and everything that has to do with drifting. Saskatchewan has no hope of future events aside from circle tracks on the occasional unbooked time slot at a major venue.
As for the girlfriend, I came to the same conclusion as you two. I need to change, I already know this, and I will do it regardless of what may happen. I will wait and see, and lightly push her in a similar direction if she seems to like the idea of it. However, if she doesn’t change and doesn’t plan to well.. so be it. She’s great, but she won’t be what I’m searching for after I’ve changed the person I am today.
It seems all I needed was other logical human beings to validate what I already knew had to be.
Thanks again for the help guys.
Jordan
Hey CAM, thank you very much for this article. You really found the main reasons why playing that stupid shit. I´ve googling for more than one hour and this is the best article I´ve read.
Now, that I know what it is happening, I would give a try once more I hope I can stop playing once and for all.
Thank you, man.
Jambo
Jordan- Sounds wicked man. You’re on the right path. “After enlightenment, the laundry”
Jambo- You can do it man. You just have to commit once and for all and it will be a piece of cake. 🙂
Hey Cam. Great article, and I found my self completely agreeing. My problem is that I over the last 1½ year has played way too much starcraft 2. I guess i am compltetely addicted to the game. Reading about, watching, discussing games, and of course playing. However I never played enough to actually become a “pro”. I used to use around 20 % of the time playing 1on1 games, and 80% of the timer doing other sc2 related stuff (love to watch). Over the last year though I began playing more and watching less, but still it was never really enough to give me the edge to get better relatively. Sc2 (I guess unlike CS, WOW and Dota) is tougher from a metnal perspective to mass game (as it is so competiviely). And I often need to take like a 30 min break after a win. So in the end I never really got that good at the game, just kinda good, which lead me absolutely nowhere.
Obv. when thinking back one could argue that my mistake was not playing even more (and watching less), but what would that accomplish? So what if i became a top 200 european player (isntead of a top 1.000). What would that change. How would that improve my life in any way? Meanwhile my life outside gaming is kinda a mess. Im currently studying finance and accounting, and to some extent these subjects are really interesting and I definitely want to work with stock andm arket analysis. Problem is that I dont have any job experience, as I have been playing games. And now I dont really know what to do, because in these times its kinda hard to get a relevant part time job that is relevant for your studies. SO while i need job experience, its hard to get job experience so I am already so far behind.
But anyway I decided from today that I will stop playing and I will stop watching starcraft 2. This at least will let me focus more on my studies, and while my grades aren’t terrible, they definitely could get alot better. If my grades get better I proably have a better shot at getitng a job. I think may combine this with just getting some “brain-dead/boring job”. Even though they aren’t really relevant for my studies, it doesn’t hurt in anyway and I need the money. Maybe i should try to find a voluntary job.
Hey Darwi. Thanks for popping in and leaving your feedback.
I definitely think you’re making the right decision. What I would suggest is to try and avoid feeling guilty about the past year and a half. Are you behind? Absolutely, but all that you can do is control the “controllables”. The past year and a half is out of your control, but thankfully how you move forward IS within your control. So move forward appropriately. Remember it won’t be easy to quit but if you COMMIT to quitting 100% no ifs ands or buts, you will succeed. Also, studying is good and will help you get job experience, but don’t forget to let loose and have fun too. That balance is essential. So instead of playing games to let loose, how are you going to do it? What’s your plan for activities you can do in your down time? Share these with me, I’m curiious.
Anyways, thanks for commenting and I hope you send me an update. As always you can reach me personally via e-mail any time: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
Good luck!
hello cam,
this is harish and I will comment on your article NEXT WEEK if I was able to quit playing video games.
NOTE: I was nearly finished writing my huge 40-minute-long response to this Article when I get called out to help my Mum move some shit. When I get back 15 minutes later, I see Dad has turned off the damn computer, and all my type has gone. I still love you Dad!
What was in it was like my lifestory in the gaming world, starting from Runescape when I was 9 to Heroes of Newerth on the 31st of December. Also in it was my expressions of gratitude to you, Cam, for writing this incredible passage. It has enlightened me.
Anyways, instead of rewriting the entire piece, I thought i’d just cut it down a bit.
My name is Shaq, and I am 17 years old. I have played game’s since 9, and have only just recently quit them on the 1st of Jan 2012.
I had been planning on quitting on the 1st of Jan for about 5-6 months. I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t play games after that date. I had been searching for advice all throughout that period of time, to see if I could help my passing easier. All the stuff would say was shit about going “Cold Turkey”. Instead this Article actually show’s us WHY it’s affecting us, and how we can make the addiction stop. I wish I stumbled upon this sooner.
2 weeks on from quitting, and I hit a speed bump. Cam, I need some advice.
Just last night I had a whole lot of mates round. We went swimming, longboarding and played Singstar (so much fun)
The next morning after some of the mate’s had left we played Grand Turismo 5 on the PS3 for about 30 minutes.
That afternoon we played MW3 on a mates PS3 for about 30 minutes.
Afterwards I felt incredibly guilty. I felt like you would feel after eating chocolate when on a diet.
Does this mean i’m already loosing my nerve? Only been two weeks -.-
Even though i’ve never been much of a console gamer, I want to know.
Does console games count towards my computer game addiction? What if it’s in a Social situation? (I dont mean like LaN’s or anything) I just mean that if you have a few mates round, and your bored.
I know i’ll never go back to computer games, that’s for sure. They were such a huge part of my life, but that’s been life wasted in my opinion. There’s so much other shit to be done. I’m going to get back into bodybuilding so be what I want to be when I leave school 🙂
But thanks again Cam, you’ve done more for me in this article than any other article did in 6 months. You rock.
Harish- I better see that update you promised me! Remember, the only factor that determines whether or not you are successful in quitting video games is YOU. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by to comment, I love hearing from you.
Shaq- Sucks to hear you lost the 40 minute response but the key is that you wrote it, and thus, whatever you were saying is engrained into your mind even better increasing the chance you will be successful! I’m happy to hear you found value in the article. There’s no doubt that there’s many ways you can quit video games… but if you can get right down to WHY you play them in the first place and WHY you end up getting into the trap than you can actually solve the REAL PROBLEM.
I don’t think you have to make console games with your friends THAT big of a deal, but if you’d rather not play them (and be safe) next time you could suggest a different activity. You could suggest you and your friends go to a park and play basketball, or frisbee. Or if it’s cold you could go to the mall. There’s things you can do when you’re bored that don’t involve video games. Even just socializing, and talking about deeper topics can be good. What do you think?
Stoked to hear you are getting back into body building. That will be a great use of your time and you will feel better because of it. Remember: don’t regret the time you spent playing video games because you cannot get it back. It is what it is. You can only move forward properly. 🙂 Good luck!!
Thank’s for replying Cam!
Haha I’ve been checking back everyday since I posted it 😉
I think I played game’s as a way to pass time at the start, then I progressed to it being an escape. When I knew I was aloud the next say 1hour+ on the computer without Mum or Dad getting angry, I’d feel a release of tension, like you would when you knew you were getting your next fix of weed or something. Not that I do that stuff haha.
Also, what about iOS device games? iPad, iPhone and iPodTouch. They’re becoming a problem. We have 1 iPad, 5 iPhone’s and 2 iPodTouch’s all throughout the house (large family + $$ = this) and they all have the same apps/games. I’m slowing down my computer use, but now I tend to spend a lot of time on the iOS devices, whichever they may be.
I haven’t lately, because we have had good weather and good friends to keep me outside, but boredom and a rainy day will be the bane of me I think.
By the way, I don’t live near a mall, and no one really likes Basketball haha
I also have a mate who played the same amount of game’s as me per day. (This was a shitload) and I have been instructed to try and help him out from his Mum. Any advice? Could I direct him here maybe? I don’t know what to do haha.
Speaking of Socializing, any tips you could give me? I don’t feel like an awkward guy, but i’m about to attend a new school, in which i’m going to have to make new friends. I was talking to a mate, and she just think’s that I should be open and friendly, and i’ll be sweet. What do you reakon?
Hey Shaq!
I’ve had an iPhone for 4 or 5 years now and I’ve never put any games on the device. Those games in my mind serve no real productive purpose on my phone. The way I view it is like this: I have a hard enough time finding time to sit down and read books that I know are super important for me to read, so any time spent playing useless games on my iPhone could be spent reading an important book. Make sense?
I definitely encourage you to spend as much time with friends outside doing activities, but you also need to find a better solution for your day if it’s rainy and you’re bored. What else are you passionate about? What are you working towards? Do you have a purpose right now? On a rainy day I might spend that time inside reading, DJing, working on the business, etc.
With your buddy you could direct him here and say that this was something that helped you out. Make sure you stay somewhat chill and easy going about everything. Don’t come across like you are TELLING him what to do, more just opening his eyes to other possibilities.
Here’s a comment I wrote on reddit to someone who was asking how to get his friends and how to bring the subject up:
The best way I’ve brought this up is to have a discussion about where the world is “socially”, and bringing him to a point where he agrees – because it logically makes sense – that fundamental problems in our world occur because we lack understanding of our social relationships, and further, that this is not even a fault of ourselves as individuals: it’s a fault of society as a whole. Nobody ever taught you social skills.
The way I usually bring is up is by mentioning how it’s so weird that the education system always talks about how “it prepares you for the real world”, yet, the real world is a social place, and the education system does nothing to prepare you for the world, socially. You aren’t taught how to develop your social skills. This is crazy and absurd. If the world is a social place, which it is undeniably, it would be kind of important to understand and develop your social skills. There are few things more important truthfully.
Once he understands this, I usually talk about how when I realized this, I started studying, like you would any other skill-set (relate it to something he studies currently), and he will understand that studying social skills is just as normal and common sense as studying “martial arts” for example.
Then you can share with him some resources that you have found valuable.
– –
What do you think? Is that an approach you could try?
When do you start school? I agree with your friend. Be open and friendly. Be ASSERTIVE in meeting people and use the excuse that it’s a new school year to introduce yourself to everyone. From here you just need to keep having conversations with people and maintain and continue to build the connections. 🙂
Thanks for the great advice Cam!
Yeah it does make sense, it’s just hard because I have 2 younger brother’s who enjoy mucking around on the iOS devices. If I say deleted all the games, my brother’s would get angry and redownload them. I do feel that it isn’t that much of a big deal, and on speaking with friends, they think the same. If I can keep usage under control and keep playing time to a mimimum, I think i’ll be fine. What do you think?
Something that’s still nagging me is the Playstation 3. We have a game called Oblivion, and I played on that for about 30 minutes by myself yesterday. Not good, I know. Then my brother started getting at me saying “only been 3 weeks and your already playing game’s again”
What can I say back to him? I feel now that, even though I haven’t broken the addiction to video games, I HAVE broken the cycle in the amount’s of which I play video games.
(Remember that I never played a lot of console gaming, it was always computer games, and I haven’t touched a computer game for 3 weeks)
Yeah, I agree. If I can find something that i’m quite keen on, I think i’ll be sweet.
Mhmm, i’ll do that. I was going to send him this link anyway, but I thought i’d ask you first.
Man, I wish some of my friends would see part of what you were saying about “researching social skills”. Heap’s of them gave me shit about googling “how to make friends at a new school” and also “how to quit gaming”. They thought it was weird as, even though I thought it might help me in those respective areas, you know? They still bring it up every now and then.
I realise something about myself that you might’ve noticed back when you were playing games. It’s something me and some gamer friends were talking about 3 months ago. It’s called a “Delay”
I’ll give you an example: Your talking to a person you have only just met. You’ve just come off a 3 hour sesh of games, and your feeling pretty tired. The other person on the other hand, is feeling upbeat and knows how to converse. He tells a funny joke, and you try to think of a witty reply, but you cant. It takes you around 2 seconds to say something, but by then the raport had gone, and it just gets awkward. (Is raport the right word?)
It has happened because of how when your typing in the gaming world, it takes you around 3 seconds to reply. You are thinking of the reply AS YOU TYPE, and if you don’t think it’s a good reply, you can BACKSPACE.
Anyways, I am realising that I used to do this, due to the overwhelming time I spent on computers. Cam, did this ever happen to you?
What I am also realising is that this “Delay” is going away. I was wondering if that was because of the fact that i’m spending heaps more time socialising. I almost think of it as a “Practice makes perfect” situation, so I can get better at talking. What are some technique’s, Cam. Do you know?
I start School in 5 days. It’s a flash as School, one of the top in the Country. It is my last year though, so I won’t have to endure it for long 😉
Nah, i’m going to make the most of it. I’m actually going to try this year. I nearly failed last year, because I spent 0 time studying and 32494235802454353 playing games haha 🙁
By the way, thank’s for the Add 🙂
Yo!
Thought this was a great read. I myself have been stuck in the ebb and flow of abstinence and complete indulgence in video games. I’ve looked towards the future and envisioned the person I want to be..and that ideal self is not like the weak-willed one that needs a crutch in the form of video games, drugs, anything of that sort to get through the day.
I’ll be sad to leave my dear friends behind, but in the end I’m the one person that I have to please. After all, I can’t make others happy if I’m not happy myself; that’s just supplication.
Instead, I’ll find and make my own happiness and share it with them.
Best wishes to all who are battling against this nebulous, deceptively powerful addiction. Take your time to find the way; you’re going to find it in the end.
Hey Shaq!
If the devices aren’t yours don’t worry about deleting the games. I would instead, use it as a way to practice discipline. Just make sure you keep usage down and remember, any time you spend playing those games could be spent on other things… so the question is, what other productive things could you focus on instead? Now, right now that might seem like there isn’t other things to do, but I would challenge you to try new things and gain new experiences. Things you enjoy now are because you’ve spent time building a relationship with them, and the things you currently don’t enjoy can change very easily if you actually spend the time building that relationship.
Don’t worry about your friends being critics. Working on your social skills makes sense to YOU, and you are going to see results because of it. Your life is going to only get better. Society as a whole doesn’t exactly view social skills as an important skill set right now, but that’s part of the problem. Focus on what you can focus on, which is yourself, and view it as you leading by example. As your life gets better and you improve, your friends will begin to take notice.
I definitely agree with the delay. Your perspective should be that your social skills are a bit rusty and you just need to spend more time practicing them, and that delay will go away just like you noticed.
I’m excited for you to start school. You are going to do great and enjoy the newfound energy you have for learning. Don’t get me wrong, school is going to be a bit of a pain as well, but if you view it as a process and take a serious discipline to ENJOY LEARNING, you can gain a lot of value from it.
Looking forward to seeing you progress.
Ryan- Thanks for the comment. I’m glad you found the post valuable. Your happiness comes first ALWAYS. Although it will be tough to move on from your current friends, you will also be meeting a lot of new people and developing friendships with many others. This is OK. I’m excited to follow along your journey, please keep me updated – the good, the bad, the ugly. 🙂
thanks for sharing your experience
Thank you Harish. 🙂
Everyone likes being good at something, which can be addicting itself. And competitive games ARE challenging as you say, it takes many hours to become good and even more to become the best. I dont like playing games at a casual level. Its like an urge to become the best, and without being the best i dont feel. Well what can i say, complete mabye. This has affected my attendance to my school and the though if i even want to graduate. I’ve always been lazy at school but never had the though of not graduating, right now that’s the scary part.. Not caring that much.
I used to be a good football player some years back but i started to get unlucky with injuries and got another sickness aswell, which lead to more video games because i quit football and my job. At first i though this was a good solution because, well i felt like it helped me staying healthy. I would give the world to go back some years and continue my football carrier. I guess its a lot easier going back into video games than it is to go back into sports. Its hard finding something else to spend time on when all you really want to do it keep on playing video games.
This article was just breathtaking, thank you so much Cam. my first goal now is to finish school, and my second one is to get a new hobby. i dont like being bad at stuff so the part where you said that you need to go in with 110%. Well that seems about right. Sorry for the longevity but this article really gave me the urge to write something back.
Hi Ola! Thank you for commenting. I appreciate you taking the time to leave your feedback.
Something important to remember is that you cannot regret your time playing video games. You must instead simply understand that back then you made certain life choices and now you are making different ones. Now you have different goals, dreams, and aspirations that you want to accomplish, and video games simply don’t fit into the picture any longer.
Best of luck and please keep me updated on your progress!!
What about iPhone and android games, does this count? I read this and realized that I am actually addicted. I didnt know that I was. I play roughly 2hrs a day.
Hey Eric. Thanks for leaving your comment. I definitely think iPhone and Android games can become addictive too. Playing 5 minutes here 5 minutes there easily turns into an hour here and hour there. It piles up over time for sure. Everything in moderation is fine. 😉
Love the article. I have been struggling quitting games for a while now. I’ll quit cold turkey for a couple of months then binge for a week or two straight, get fed up, uninstall my games, then start the cycle over again.
This year I told myself that I would change. I’m close to being a published writer and have NO time to play video games, but still, sometimes they creep in. Either I’m drunk, with friends, or just bored. I tell myself I’ll only play it for a few minutes. Then it turns into an hour then an hour the afternoon and so one.
After I play video games it’s even hard for me to focus on my writing. My brain is wired in “zombie” mode while my mind needs to be “creative.”
Here’s to this year of stopping the addiction forever!
Hey JER, thanks for dropping by and leaving your comment.
If you find one of the times you resort to playing video games is when you are bored… what are some activities you could do instead during that time? Figure out those answers and quitting (and staying video-game free) will be a breeze. 🙂
Please keep me posted on your progress.
Hey JER, your not the only one. I felt exactly the same as you do after playing games. I couldn’t concertrate, socialize or anything
Hey Cam.
Life’s pretty good eh, haven’t touched a single computer game for a month!
I’ve totalled about 4 hours in total of PS3 usage this month, and most of it was with friends. I mean, that should be find shouldn’t it?
I’m at that new school now, and SHIT it’s hard.
I’m so behind in like everything, it’s a huge wakeup call.
Now I’m at another problem
Social Networking.. 🙁
Because I’m new to the school, I don’t know very many people. I have made 2 or 3 good mate’s and I know about 1/8 of our year already (decent feat for the 1st week)
BUT problem is, I miss my family and my other mate’s like crazy. Now I find myself spending 2-3 hours on the Laptop after school talking to everyone, asking questions, getting advice etc.
This doesn’t help me at all, as I have a LOT of homework already.
I know I need to prioritize. It’s become an issue and it’s only the 2nd night
Only reason I’m bringing this up is because I’d like to “Squash it before it starts” if you know what I mean.
Gaming had a snowball effect on me.
Game —> No sleep —> No growth —> Tired —> Can’t concerntrate
Last night I was talking to friends till 11 at night, then proccedded to look at “SmarthphOWNED” fails to 1:30.
I don’t want to make it:
Facebook —> No sleep —> No growth —> Tired —> Can’t concerntrate
So, what do you think I should do? Remove Facebook alltogether?
Hey Shaq. Thanks for adding your input into the discussion.
Congrats on your first month video game FREE! With friends is fine, just remember not to use that as justification to play. If you end up playing 4 hours a month with friends that is FINE. If it’s 20 hours with friends that’s a different story all together. 😛
Could you setup a limit for yourself that you will do X amount of hours of homework before getting on Facebook to talk to your friends? That might be an approach that could ensure you don’t get behind on your schooling but still get the chance to talk to old friends. Remember it’s only the first week so I would assume you’d miss your friends the most right now, but if you focus on staying on top of school and making new friends at your new school, things will be ok. 🙂
The other approach you could try would be setting a time you want to be IN BED. My rule is that by 11pm ideally I get INTO bed, with a fallback of midnight if for some reason I end up getting super busy or whatever. I don’t think you need to limit Facebook because talking to your old friends is important. You just need to be more disciplined and structure your day a bit better. If you finish your homework/studying for the night, Facebook it up! That way Facebook is more of a reward and not something hurting you. BEst of both worlds. 🙂
Great article, I have decided to stop playing video games too, it was eating my time, which I could have spent with my fiancee.
The one thing I liked most out of video games is the thrill of taking quick decisions and the maths behind it, as well as how they make me use my brain to the point it could explode. That was a sensation I loved.
I suffer from a pretty bad ADD and the only times I can concentrate is when information keeps flowing and I have to organize it. You have no idea of how joyful I was when I first was able to concentrate on one SC2 game for a whole 20 minutes.
Since I stopped playing, although I did play alot of guitar and saw my girlfriend much more often, there’s this feeling that something’s lacking, I haven’t been able to focus on anything longer than 1 or 2 minutes, I don’t want to restart playing and waste all my time on games again, but I can’t find this feeling of being a normal person that can be focused on SOMETHING.
it’s alright when I’m with my girlfriend, or playing guitar, or working, but after 11 PM, when I can’t find sleep, my girlfriend’s sick and she sleeps in early, I can forget about playing guitar, don’t want to wake her up, and it’s friggin cold outside out here in quebec. That gap, I can’t find a way to fill it.
Shot Cam!
Haha it’s sweet. I just recognised some of the symptoms I had when I played games. Feels so GOOD! Haha.
Yeah bro, and it’s only on the weekends.
Only thing I ever need to do now is knuckle down, not procrastinate 😉
Hmm, I red something a while ago where if your IN BED for a while reading/studying/facebooking/texting, you actually loose comfort, and tend to wiggle around trying to find a better spot to sleep. If you do all of those things OUT OF BED, and get into bed when you actually plan on sleeping, you’ll go to sleep quicker. What do you think?
But bro, I actually can’t thank you enough.
I think my sister is even gonna write something to you privately to say thanks, you don’t know how many scraps we had to try and get me off the games!
Hey JeanSeb, Thank you very much for stopping by and leaving your comment. I definitely agree that video games can be a great way to activate your brain. What time do you typically go to bed? Do you enjoy reading? That might be a great way to help yourself fall asleep while staying quiet and still activating your brain because reading is a very good activity for that! Plus you’re learning AND relaxing so it’s a big win-win across the board.
Keep me posted on your progress. I’d love to hear more!
Shaq – I definitely try to keep my bed for sleeping only. It’s the same advice as not watching TV in bed or any of that, because your mind will not be able to relax and focus. I keep my bed to sleeping only and it’s been working out very well for getting to bed quicker. Would love to hear from your sister. 😛
Hey, i’ll share you my story !
When i was about 10 i thought i had a bad life, poor family and that nobody liked me, i had only a few good friends, i started playing computer games in times when none of my friends wanted to hang out. That became into a habbit, when i got older, 12 or 13, i discovered im gay, i felt i wanted to kill myself because i live in a homophobic society, i just thought: “There is no other way, im just gonna play games and have no life until i finish college and move to America or UK”. after 4 years of wasting my life on stupid mmorpg games and other shit the only thing im now good at is photoshop (a skill i got by) and a bit of other computer skills. These days i decided to change my life, putting my suicide thoughts into a fucking what the hell was i thinking jar and moving on with my life. Im going to get really healthy, run every day, go to a forest, minimize my computer time from 10 to 1 hour a day, i’ll have a lot of time to do yoga and athletics (i just love beeing able to do cool stuff). When i was young, i drew a lot, i was almost the best in my class without even trying, i think could be a really good artist, writer or something else that includes creativity.
Also when i was young i always wanted to help other people, never to lie, never do bad things to others, i wanted to make this world a better place, but now i realised the society is fucked up, now even more than before, i would be respected more if i bullied people, spoke like a drug dealer and had bitches and drunkers instead of real friends.
My only problem now is what can i do? I know if i dont choose one thing now that im gonna pay badly. My questions to you are:
-Im 17, do you think it’s late for me to start beeing good at something?
-How should i decide? I really have no idea.
I hope you can help me, or else im probably a fucked up case.
Oh and here is how my dailiy rutine looked like:
-wake up at 9
-eat something and play video games until i need to prepare for school
-at 12:30 i go to school and stay until 6
-when i get back from school im dead tired, so i go play video games
-i go to sleep at midnight
Pretty much whenever i say:” im gonna change my life todayz!!” tomorow is a rainy day, i need to stay at home and cant even go to my yard.
I think i told you more than i told anyone 😀
Hey Sam,
Thanks a lot for dropping by and sharing your story. I know it takes courage to share personal details about your life.
First and foremost, you are definitely NOT a fucked up case. Your case is what it is and that is fine. Understand that before you are able to grow, you must ACCEPT where you are at and decide to move forward from that point and only that point.
You are 17 which also means it is definitely not too late to be good at something. Regardless of age, the only difference between someone becoming good at something and not is them making the decision to pursue it. Once you decide to pursue it, you will begin to find solutions to your problems. So what’s your current problem and how do you fix it?
The answers are in your comment. Focus more on drawing and writing instead of playing video games. Set some goals and challenge yourself. Instead of playing video games before school, spend that time making a good breakfast (this would be an opportunity to develop your skill set of cooking), and then instead of playing video games, draw or write instead. Maybe what you can do is wake up, eat a good breakfast, and then write in your journal for X amount of time. Then go to school and come home around 6. Now you’re tired so you won’t want to do much, but I’m sure you still have enough energy to draw. Spend time drawing and then spend time in photoshop.
Now, doing this every day and every night might end up being a bit boring over time. So how can you fix this? Add a goal to develop your social circle. How is your group of friends? Could you spend time meeting more people? Maybe you could volunteer since you mentioned you want to make the world a better place. Volunteering is a great way to tap into that vision.
Feel free to e-mail me and keep me posted. cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
Remember, you can do it, because it’s only up to you to decide what your life looks like. Proud of you for sharing, hope you keep me posted on your progress.
AY niggah!
TO even begin with my life story, I have to start wayyyyyy back when i was about 13-14 years old.. Started playing RUNESCAPE constantly till about the age of 16-17 years old…Of course still pursuing my education without a doubt… But recently, I went away for residence at my university and had a BLAST for approx 5-6 months..Then something weird had happened.. I came back home during weekends to just Surround myself in my old aura of the old days (playing video games, etc..) THIS WAS THE WORST DECISION EVER. then december break came along and I got pretty much hooked…I felt like i was at the peak of my life while in res (girls, parties, socializing nonstop — never even came back to my res). But then I made a decision which had turned my life upside down in a way..I decided to stay home the following semeter instead of continuing my education.. So that semester flew by (still taking online courses), then the last semester did aswelll…and then i decided to go back to this game but a private server so i wouldnt be too addicted. SO then, I was playing that nonstop, exercising, and smoking madddddddd weeed with my bro who was also commuting. But the reason for all this was mainly because I felt like I had socialized so fuckin much that i was SICK OF it. LOL, as stupid as it may sound..Then relationships slowly deterred and not much time was spent on my family members either.. felt like i was UP IN SMOKE for a good year. Im 19 now, and its fucked up that my sister is already turning 27 and i dont even know a single thing about her? Dayummm.. So now im picking my confidence back up..slowly…the weed really left me in a depressed, lazy, unmotivated and overthinking type of atmosphere..SO i cold turkeyed that, and just today, im gonna cold turkey these stupid games. Going through facebook and seeing everyone progressing just really turns me off. I need this. Im actually on vacation as we speak in INDIA, and hell, i just started playing this stupid game just to fly away 2 hours here and there while i wait for my mom to get lunch ready, etc.. and shit, then i started playing again until about 3 am..waking up at 12 pm, then getting out the house at 4 pm. So i could kinda see how it was taking control over me in a way…or at least my mind. I’ve felt that even being 19, my mind was always at least 5-6 years older than i was..I would talk to even my Aunty’s and they would get in a flirty type of mood…WTF? LOL. So socializing isnt that much of a problem for me, just that I get these stupid fixes…I REALLY like the idea of DJING or something, but i need something to do on a daily basis to keep my mind preoccupied.. Exericisng, yes. BUT its hard to find a gym without knowing mumch about the language here in INDIA. <— major typing mistakes,etc …im saying this as if I was speaking to you L. Other than that, im just glad im progressng slowly, and YES INDIA was an escape of that redundant lifestyle of gaming i had in Canada. I went back on my runescape acocunt to check how long i had been playing, and it read: 256 DAYS . multiple that by 24, and thats how many hours I played…(me and my bro and some friends on my account). THIS IS NOT INCLUDING XBOX (halo 2,3, all of call of dutys, and 47832472043 other games , PS3 or god knows what else.. But i am a very confident person, and I kNOW i can reach my potential or even BEYOND very soon if i have my MIND RIGHT.
Ultimate goals: Bodybuilding, army, COP if anything, GOOD Accounting career etc..with my BcoMM degree…
oh and btw, i took this semester off basically…so i will be returning to school in september
SO yeah, i have a long way to go.
I await your response and i really enjoyed reading this article !! SICK JOB BRO.
P.S. I overthink situations, and tend to weigh my options on whether to meet someone or save myself the stress and just relax at home at times . hmmmm..
Hey Cold Turkey,
Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Where abouts in Canada are you from? I’m in Calgary! 🙂
India sounds awesome. Live it up. How long are you there for? It seems like you have some good goals, so what are the steps in between that you need to accomplish in order to get there? Have you looked up the requirements to become a COP? Or the army? etc?
You can definitely do it. Success comes down to creativity and persistence. If you are persistent in being creative you can find a solution to any problem. I really believe that.
You’re 19 which is the exact age I was when I decided that I wasn’t O.K. with my life being in the state it was anymore, so I quit gaming all together and went after my goals and dreams. Keep me posted on your progress. I’d love to hear how you are doing.
Excellent advice. I myself have cycles of being addicted to video game, when im off them i stay fit and healthy, i read a lot more, i practice musical instruments, I am more social, I am more motivated, basically i am levelling up in life.
I mean instead of doing unproductive things like playing games i could be doing so much more productive things that get me places and increase my skills in a broad range. Success is easy it’s all just about doing, just do it.
Motivation is key its just hanging on to it that seems to be the problem for me. I think the only way is to eliminate video games completely from my life even though i have good friends far away who i play with i will have to sacrifice that aspect to i guess. I have been thinking about doing this for a long time so before i do it should i have one last haul at it you know play for like 10 hours and then sell it all on ebay?
Hey Tim.
Thanks for dropping by and commenting. I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you think about the post. We love the phrase “levelling up your life”. This is actually a phrase we use a lot every day here. Mikey B actually recorded a really cool video blog about how “Social Dynamics is the Ultimate Video Game.” It’s here: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/social-dynamics-is-the-ultimate-video-game/
If you want to do one last haul that is fine. I did something similar and I’m glad I did. Motivation is something I struggled with for a long time, and then I had a breakthrough. A simple quote caused it:
“Motivation is like bathing, do it daily.”
Motivation is hard to maintain because the perception of motivation is that it is there or it isn’t. The perception isn’t that it’s something that needs to be WORKED on every day. Work on your motivation every day in all the small different ways and that will be the difference between it lasting or it fading away once again.
Hope to see you comment on some of our other articles Tim. Your insight is valuable. 🙂
one thing I do not understand is why would I want to quit videogames if I enjoy them?
how is playing guitar going to be any different from playing videogames if I enjoy doing both?
Thanks for commenting “123451”. Definitely something to understand about this post is that it’s intended for people who DO want to quit playing games.
However, if you enjoy playing games I think it’s fine to play them. The reason you would want to stop is if it’s affecting other areas of your life. The typical situation that happens with video games is that you enjoy it so much that it takes over your whole entire life. Also, as outlined in the article, there are a few reasons WHY you enjoy playing games. This may cause you to realize that you don’t enjoy the games as much as you think, or it may not, it really comes down to why you play games and what the rest of your life looks like.
Everything in life is good in moderation. The problem with games is that it’s so common for it to NOT be in moderation. If you are one of those people who can play video games and it isn’t affecting anything else in your life, than playing games is definitely something you can do.
No
I have a problem with this statement: “this last piece is the real x-factor: all good games are SOCIAL”
I totally disagree with this statement, all games that have had any impact on my life and any games that I can say I truly love have one thing in common: they are single-player. I hate social interactions in video games and I hate competitive gaming, its very shallow. There are some fun ones out there, but when I play them I treat them as single-player with (sometimes) smarter enemies. In general, I hate the social aspect of them (other than trying to make people who take them too seriously mad by camping, cheesing, breaking unspoken rules, team killing, etc). Anything that requires team based gameplay I can’t stand, much prefer deathmatch type games – if I feel like multiplayer. Single player games are definitely superior as you don’t have to deal with dumbass people. Am I broken?
>Play an inhumanely excessive amount of video games.
>Play none.
>Play inhumanely excessive amount.
>Play none.
>WHY AM I UNHAPPY???????
Also, projecting. Projecting everywhere. e.g mentioning fat, mentioning lazy, mentioning insecurity, self esteem, etc.
What an interesting and valuable tale! My favorite parts were the many cases of “110%”! and bold text like the whole article is a fucking passive-aggressive laminated memo left in the break room kitchen by some female co-worker.
Why would you want to stop playing video games?
why is there this societal pressure for everyone to be these social demigods? what about the people who enjoy spending time alone, or the people who don’t really feel the need to constant human interaction? Why do people get so worked up about other people wanting to stay home instead of going out and clubbing or some shit? Seems like a giant case of societal “stop liking what I don’t like” if you ask me. If you don’t follow the herd, people hate you for it.
Hey Cam,
I’ve been all over the place looking for a nice answer or motivation for this topic for a while. I’ve been playing video games as long as i can remember. When i was really young i used to watch my brother play them and always thought they were cool, then i eventually started. This is how i believe that i formed my addiction to video games. For some reason quitting really doesn’t seem like an option to me. I’m 15 years old and not real popular around my school. I have 4 really close friends and then a few others spread around that i don’t talk to half as much. My friends are all into video games just like me. That seems like its our main interest that keeps us together. So about a month ago i quit World of Warcraft and my friends seemed really proud of me. After i quit it seemed like there was less and less to talk about to my friends. So eventually i got addicted to Rift… Another MMORPG. This would all be okay with me but the more nights i think about this the more I realize that if i don’t quit i’m going to end up flunking out of high school. Whenever i get home i always run straight to my computer and jump right on and play right away, and i keep coming back day after day. Every year my grades go down farther and farther. Now that i’m at a point in high school where the grades matter for collage, i just wanna do better. I really want to just flat out quit video games but i have a really hard time getting around to try new things to see what i like. I know some things i like but they aren’t things that i could do everyday for fun. Also since i live in a small town there’s almost no kids my age around. I would have done sports but i used video games as an excuse to skip out this year. I honestly feel that if i don’t find something else to do I wont be able to turn my life in a good direction. Do you have any advice on what to do in my situation?
Dude, no fucking way, I play Sc2, play cs 1.6, played wow starter edition and made a hunter on it (fav race). But yh, I think It’s weird how we play the same games, and I too googled “how to quit gaming” and was pissed with the bullshit advice I.e. ‘limit your time’ – ROFL, If only I could limit my time. Truth is yesterday, I realised that the actual makers of these games probably haven’t even played the game, all they do is make millions of it, and your on your computer for hours everyday helping them get richer, productively wasting time. Regardless, well written article, first time actually I’ve ever read every word on an article. I agree with your theory that these games are multiplayer to cover social aspects. All in all, happy I came across this now than later, I’ve deleted all my games and giving 110% 🙂
@ THEMOON – Thanks for dropping by and commenting. That’s cool that you don’t enjoy multiplayer games, and I’m sure there are many other people out there that are similar to you… but in the event that you don’t enjoy multiplayer games than the social aspect just doesn’t apply to you, and that’s ok. Your comment makes it seem like my analysis of the social aspect is wrong… which I don’t think is true. Many of the most popular games out there right now are incredibly social and addicting because of it. The point is a valid one.
@ Vidya, The article is for people that want to stop. If somebody doesn’t want to stop, all the power to them.
@ Social-life, Thanks for commenting. I appreciate your input. Here’s the thing: social doesn’t only apply when you’re interacting with people. It applies when you are interacting with ANYTHING. Social = where there is interaction.
One example of this is the relationship you have with yourself. You talk to yourself all day. You are talking to yourself. It’s a social relationship. If someone gets that much internal enjoyment from playing video games or, in all honestly, anything at all, that’s awesome and I would encourage them to continue it. Do most people that play video games get that internal value from them? No. Most play because of the reasons listed above, and, amazingly, when their life changes a bit, video games are usually the first to go. They no longer have “time” or they no longer truly give a shit. I’ve seen it many times.
But I definitely agree with you that if they aren’t someone like that, and they enjoy being alone at home that much more, all the power to them. I also think, and this is speaking from my OWN experience here, that when I was playing video games a lot I was also depressed, but masked it with the enjoyment of video games. They didn’t make me any happier, they just filled up a lot of time, and in my mind, I could easily justify it as having no desire to go out and hang out with friends or do anything else. Just something to keep in mind. Doesn’t apply to everyone but definitely applies to some.
@ Mike, Thanks for dropping by and commenting. What are the things that you enjoy? You mentioned you knew a few. One solution to implement right away is to study when you get home instead of playing. Set a time limit. When you first get home from school, you’re going to eat a snack, and then study for an hour or two (recommend 2) before doing anything else. Then have dinner and do a few things before bed. The things you do you don’t need to feel guilty about, because you’ve already studied for 2 hours. It will help your grades a lot. Keep me in the loop, I’d love to help you anywhere I can. E-mail me. 🙂
@ Av, Thanks for commenting. I’m very glad you found value in the article. 110% let’s go. 🙂 Have you had a chance to check out any of our other articles? I’d love to hear your feedback on them too!
Great article. Very hands-on, which is helpful. My self-esteem has been shot in the arse over the past couple years, due to some poor career choices made, leading to lack of confidence, embarrassment etc. The internal motivating drive was gone. Video games have been the escape mechanism to fill that void. The hours playing games gave that sense of accomplishment, quick fix. Although, those hours become days, months and so on. I found my social abilities decreasing, almost to the point of feeling really awkward around new people, or even friends of old.
Two weeks ago I uninstalled all my games, shredded game codes, deleted my game login/password file, grabbed a garbage bag and threw out all the games. My house is now game free, which actually gave me a sense of relief.
I’d say that’s a step in the right direction. The key now is to fill the void with productive, motivating things that I’m passionate about. Or, just try something new. I know I used to be a happy camper, I just need to find myself again and keep pushing forward. Most importantly, keep busy. I know it’s a challenge, yet I’m finally ready to tackle it once again.
Hey Niles, Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Sorry to hear about your rough past couple of years. But happy to hear that you are recognizing your situation and working to improve it. What are some activities you have always wanted to try? What are you passionate about currently? Growing up what did you want to be when you got older?
I’d love to hear more about your situation. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
Alright, here’s some input. It’s been what, 2 weeks since I stopped playing video games? At first, I had trouble finding something to do, as I said in an earlier post.
Well I actually decided to not give up video games, although I wouldn’t play them anymore. I’m in the process of creating a text based RPG, while learning a programming language. Hopefully, this game I’m making can teach me some basic programming skills, as I can’t afford to go back to school anymore.
It had a very positive result. I sleep better at night, as it’s very tiresome. I also can stop whenever I want, so my schedules aren’t messed up. Those who are complete nerds like me should try that out
Hey Jeanseb! Super excited to hear your update. That sounds like a cool solution you came up with. Getting into the entrepreneur side is $$$$. That’s what I did and it’s paid off big time in my life. Just don’t forget about the social side. Have you been going out and socializing with more of your friends lately? Making new ones?
Well right now my girlfriend’s in the hospital since a month and a half ago, so my evenings are pretty much “write a software that’ll cheer her up”, eating, visiting her, then working on my rpg, and sleeping. Occasionnaly I’ll have a beer with an old friend, but I don’t really have much time for any new friends.
Ahhh that’s alright then. Hopefully your girlfriend recovers soon. Sounds like your schedule is as good as it can be right now. Respect for being there for her. 🙂
Hey, I found real inspiration in your story and advice, but am confused with myself on how to know when I have control or not on when I play xbox. I have a LIVE account so yes, that doesn’t help forgetting and stopping the competing, but I don’t plan on quitting! I know I’m addicted because when I become tired of school at the end of the day (9th grade), I come home from school and procrastinate, not forgetting about that controller and that awesome game I have or one I’ve preordered.
I do have a few social problems like wanting to choose music in class over conversations in my easy periods, and the biggest problem is my social life and thinking about relationships; not necessarily wanting one, but being able to not loath every hand in the hall being held, and serious depression at times where I can forget what I’m doing and stare off, thinking of something random, like my mind on other things to forget!. Focusing in class isn’t as much of an issue whereas I am a latch-key kid so I can do what I want for a few hours, which sadly is you-know-what when I get home before dashing through my daily chores before my guardians come home. this has effected studying for tests, relationships with friends, I stay home every weekend, no relationships for a whole year, friend list-not many, not fighting with parents but not getting along either, and more.
I want to be more productive at nights for something in the future, or at least for friends and et cetera. I don’t know if I have the will to quit altogether but I definately need a better lifestyle and videogames counters social relationships that will build if I can conquor this spreading problem of laziness. (procrastinativeness as apposed to fat, junkfood laziness)
some possible candidates of substitutes are: learning on my ibanez guitar, and thats it): if you can relate any of the most relative advice to me you think of, I’d really appreciate it;)
sorry if I am confusing, I’m tired from a project. -Jacob Tyler Thomas
Hey Jake, Thanks for popping by and commenting.
I definitely understand your situation. I was in a very similar one when I was in the 9th grade. I think learning more on your ibanez guitar is a great start. What about doing this:
When you get home from school, eat a snack, then study for 1-2 hours (set the time based on how much you need to study, not how much you want to), then eat dinner, then practice on your guitar for 1-2 hours, then it should almost be bed time. For now maybe limit video games to the weekends only, as a reward for working hard during the week on your schooling and your guitar. This could be a good start, although I definitely think increasing the amount of social interaction you have is important. Are you interested in sports at all? Any activities outside school you could get involved with? Maybe find some people at school that play guitar and you can practice with them! That would be great. What do you think?
That’s great advice, thanks!
jake
I just wanted to thank you for your great article. Very insightful!
Keep up the good work.
Thanks for commenting SHYGIRL. I hope the post helps you out and you also have a chance to check out some of the other ones we have here on our blog. 🙂
Hey Cam. Awesome read. Just wanted to thank you. I’ll be trying to break my WoW addiction today. In fact, started off by quitting guild mid progression. Ill definitely followup with you through email.
I certainly commend your efforts in helping people. Video Game addiction has only been recently considered to be an official diagnosis in the psychology world.
Downloaded the book here and I’m looking forward to making changes. Left a bad 4 year relationship and in a new one now. You’ve reminded me that change must be present and that you must be proactively creating it if you expect the future to be different.
Thanks again and talk soon!
Hi Caj! Thanks for popping by and commenting. I’m super excited that you found value in the article. I’d love to hear how you enjoy the book so definitely e-mail me and keep us in the loop! 🙂
Hey Cam, I’m really glad I found this article. I am in a stage of my life where I am really trying to find ways to grow myself as a person and things to motivate me. For most of my life, I went on without any real purpose, and did not really accomplish very much. About a year ago however, I found the game starcraft 2, and until seeing this article, I thought of it as the “thing” I need to make my life complete, for the exact reasons you described in here.
My question to you, specifically as a former starcraft pro, is why is starcraft less fulfilling than other activities that require a high amount of skill? For example, how is learning to play the guitar any more fulfilling than learning to play starcraft, aside from it being more socially acceptable? As you know, being good at starcraft requires a lot of skill, intelligence and speed, and it seems to me right now that the skills I would get from starcraft are actually more beneficial than the skills from guitar (I played guitar for years, but only with a small fraction of my heart).
Interestingly, I think of other games like LoL and modern warfare as being a waste of time, but I consider starcraft to be some thing more than just a video game. In reality, I don’t get much fulfillment from it, as I play in infrequent bursts, cannot choose a race, etc. I know in my gut that it is just a game, but for some reason I see it as something more. It is a hard feeling to describe, but I am sure you can relate.
You’ve helped me a lot by writing this article, and I would really appreciate if you could give me some advice to help me even more. I am really confused, as I am having trouble see what it takes for an activity to really be worthwhile and beneficial to growth. Thanks again for your help! 😀
Hey Boris. Thanks for popping by to leave a comment. I think the main difference between Starcraft and any other skill is that the reason you are playing Starcraft isn’t (in 99% of cases) because it brings that passionate internal fulfillment, but because of the areas I listed above. If guitar isn’t something that you get that passionate internal fulfillment from, than I would not recommend putting your time into it either. The danger with Starcraft or other video games is that they tend to mask how you truly feel about your life, and don’t encourage you to put the work in to actually find that activity you truly are passionate about.
Nobody can say that games like Starcraft don’t require a lot of skill, intelligence or speed.
However at the same time, when you’re playing these games, if in the back of your head (and in 99% of cases this is true) you are thinking about whether or not you are doing the right thing, or if playing video games is actually what you want to do, or if you have that feeling of being trapped in the game, or if you want to quit but don’t know how – the list goes on and on – than it’s clear the game isn’t what you want to do, it’s merely what you feel you need to do because you don’t know what else to do.
The other danger with video games is that because it fulfills so many necessary areas in your life, it has huge potential to throw you off balance, causing you to not live the life you actually want. Hope that helps.
Thanks for the response, it definitely helps. Since first reading this article, I’ve checked out a bunch of other blogs on this site, and I’m starting to get a better idea what you guys are all about. It’s definitely true that there is something about games that is extremely addictive has the potential to really harm your lifestyle.
One specific difference between Starcraft (or any game) and playing musical instruments is the level of appreciation that people in the respective communities have for each other. In Starcraft, if you are anything less than a top Korean, your level of skill will be seen as unsatisfactory. Even though it takes a lot of time and effort to get to learn any amount of the game, I almost NEVER see people give each other sincere and honest appreciation for their effort. Everyone who doesn’t choose to devote their ENTIRE LIVES to the game is just a scrub. With musical instruments, on the other hand, people tend to be much more friendly and cooperative. Instead of seeing beginners as retard bronzies, they offer support and show honest respect.
I feel that the reason for this is that as you said, people who play video games use them as a substitute for life, and are clearly going to be unhealthy individuals. Why would I ever want to surround myself with people like that? Even if Starcraft and other video games have the potential to be a valuable activities, there is just something that is off about them that quite simply destroys lives.
Thanks again man, and keep on spreading the value 😉
One of the interesting concepts in Social Dynamics is that “the flaw you see in others is the flaw you see in yourself.”
I think the Starcraft community showcases this concept very very well. I’ve never seen a community so critical of others, but it’s also because every critic is also that critical of himself. The reason this negativity breeds more in the Starcraft community instead of, say, one of a musical instrument is because, like we’ve talked about, people playing Starcraft aren’t happy with themselves, so they push that same negative vibe to others. Negative people want to be around other negative people, and you are a product of your environment. 😛
I would say it is the compulsion factor as well. There are few things in the world that you continue to do long after you are bored with them as much as video games. Like it has been said, how many times have you played games not because you wanted to, but because you couldn’t think of anything else to do?
It isn’t as if video games are completely without merit. Hand eye coordination, memory, reflexes, problem solving with probably a dozen things beyond those mentioned that games can help you with. The problem in my mind is how much of detriment games can be to growth in other real life areas. Your growth/loss can add up heavily in the loss column .
Gamers do seem to be an introverted and/or negative bunch. At least the compulsive ones do. You could have a chicken or the egg argument about which causes which but it seems often enough people that give up the games seem to branch out noticeably after giving them up.
Great comment ‘Dunno’. I agree with everything you said. Thanks for leaving your thoughts. 🙂
I agree too dunno, maybe you should call yourself “donno” haha. I have come to believe that video games are inherently limited to the point where no one would really be interested in their content, and is simply drawn to them because of flashy lights and superficial rewards. They have been growing in popularity because developers have been learning to attach more “rewards” that are quick fixes for the four needs Cam described in this article.
I feel that there is definitely potential in the video gaming industry, but in its current state, it is not producing anything I deem to provide true value.
Not sure if anyone still checks this due to the fact that comments are not dated.
I’m 14 and a freshman in high school, video games have been a part of my life since my dad got me a Gameboy advance for my 5th birthday. I have always been socially ackward around people a don’t know, but it’s not like I don’t have friends. However, video games have been taking up too much of my time and have been getting me some bad grade (a bad grade for me is a B or under) and I want to change that. But it’s so difficult to quit playing video games especially when your mom thinks it’s a good way for me to stay connected with friends I don’t see often anymore. Any tips on telling her I’m done (assuming people still comment here)? Sorry for any grammatical errors, writing has never been my strong point…
hey Cam,
This is mike from a few posts back. I really want to thank you! The night i posted my comment i deleted all my games. In less then a week i was feeling better. I even wrote a paper on it and my teacher asked me for a second copy to show as a class example! I decided that i liked music again and started playing piano and guitar again. I also got a program to make my own music. My grades went from f’s to an A and three B’s. I honestly think that this has helped my life a lot! thank you so much.
*sees last two comments with name Mike* fuck this is gonna start confusing people.
@ Mike. I always love it when I get comments from our younger generation. It’s so cool for me to see people in their teenager years being assertive to google around for help and even leave comments asking for more feedback.
I would just let your mom know you are going to spend your time doing other things instead of playing video games. Now the question is, what do you plan on doing instead? Do you have any other activities you enjoy? Are their any activities you are interested in trying out? I would just be honest with your mom and say that you want to try new things other than video games, and with Facebook it makes it easier to stay in touch with friends now. How does that sound? I’d love to hear more about how this situation plays out. (PS. Thanks for pointing out that the dates weren’t showing up on comments. I’ve added it back now.)
@ Michael: Haha, the names can definitely get a bit confusing. I’m super stoked to hear that you were able to quick playing video games and spend your time doing other activities. What program are you using for music? Do you have a soundcloud account? I’m a DJ and am learning how to produce as well. My soundcloud account is: http://soundcloud.com/camerondare
Thanks for the article. I was also looking on google on how to treat my effing game addiction but yours was the most blunt, and straight to the point and helped me find my resolve to effing quit games.
Hey Sam! Thanks for stopping in and commenting on the blog. I’m excited you found value in it. Good luck quitting, keep me posted on your progress!
I just found this via a reddit post and your history is very similar to mine. Gaming as much as possible for some 15+ years, quit out of disgust for myself from the 16 hours a day WoW, then successfully going about two years without games. Somehow here I am, playing League of Legends all day long wondering how I got in this position.
So thank you for giving me the motivation I needed. I’ve been uninstalling and reinstalling trying to quit for a few months now, but I just went nuclear and uninstalled everything. I deleted my games folder on both computers, and both of my backup hard drives. It was just about 500gb worth that I’ve been collecting for some reason. Having that looming in the background was me admitting that at some point I’d go back to play them. I’ll be getting rid of my controllers and custom keyboards later this week.
It’s insane how I took two years away from games and that was the best time of my life, yet still it’s so hard to get myself to do it again, even though I know for a fact it will improve everything.
Hi Peter! Thank you for taking the time to respond and leave your input! Keep me posted on your journey. If you need an answer to any questions you have any time, relating to anything, reach out. I’m happy to help!
Hey. Good advice bro, I was just curious how you got into DJing? I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and it’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but the equipment is really expensive. Any advice?
Hey Chalkyjones, thanks for dropping by and leaving your comment.
Equipment can definitely be expensive, but if you search around for a used pair of more beginner style turntables it can help bring the cost down a lot while you save up to upgrade to newer equipment. But when you’re first starting out and learning, you don’t need much. If anything having the nicer equipment will just cause you to learn poor fundamentals.
I got into DJing one day with a few buddies when we simply asked ourselves why we hadn’t ever bought gear before. We knew we’d enjoy it, we knew we’d use it, we just never actually bought the damn gear. Never had the thought really. So one day we just went and bought gear and here I am 2 years later loving it more and more every day.
My soundcloud is: http://soundcloud.com/camerondare if you want to check out any of my mixes.
[…] How to Quit Playing Video Games FOREVER Which brings me to the first and absolute most important puzzle to quitting video games: You MUST have a FIRM COMMITMENT to not play them. You can’t limit your time; you can’t use it as a reward. You must quit cold turkey, 110%. […]
Hey, Cam! Nice article!
I have a question. I have uninstalled all the games on my computer recently. Do you think I should start giving away all my game accounts and for example selling my gaming stuff (like game consoles)?
Hey Lobster. Thanks for dropping by and leaving your feedback. That’s something you can do if you want. I don’t think it’s necessary, but I do think it can be a good step in the right direction… especially if you find you are continuously going back and wanting to play them. Getting them out of sight – out of mind – is always a good approach.
When I quit I uninstalled everything too. Any games that were downloaded I compressed and saved onto dvds if I could. Then I put all my games in a box and moved them to a location away from computer. Do you ever really plan on going back to them? If they feel like a waste of time and they take up a little too much of your time when you do play them then what is the point in keeping them around? If quitting something is hard why make it easy to fall back into it once you have made the choice to get away from it?
Exactly, great comment Dunno.
Hey, Cam!
How did you deal with the urges to play video games? I think I am having the urge right now and I need an advice.
P.S. I didn’t play any video games for a month or so already. This is a very long time for me :P.
thanx to cam for such a great article,
little bit about me im almost 37 yeah old i know and have played video games since i was 8 so thats 29 years wasted in video games. played every waking hour that i wasnt working and spent countless £1000s on games still owe £2000 in debt buying games and consoles on credit and never keeping them.
the problem with other articles on the net is none are from the gamers perspective, they are all to help a parent stop there childs video game addiction.
after a 12 hour session yesterday on borderlands on onlive i came looking for help again and found this great article, am 110% on board have deleted all my accounts associated with games or gaming.
have masses of time on my hands as im a full time house husband and look after 2 kids, good thing ill get so much more time to spend with the kids than telling them to go away and entertain themselves.
my heartfelt thanx goes to cam from this 37 year old, great article keep up the great work that your doing, helping gamers to stop gaming, so many more things to do in life.
Hey Lobster. The way I deal with the urge is to just have other activities to do instead. Whenever I got the urge to play I would just go do something else. Go to the mall and look at clothes, go for a walk, go to the gym and work out. I would do something else and after awhile the urges disappeared for long periods of time. Instead of resisting the urge, just accept it as an urge and move forward accordingly. The key is to mentally commit every time you have the urge to continue your commitment to moving forward in life video game free. Thanks for commenting, best of luck!
@ Thanx to Cam: Thanks for commenting. I’m excited to hear how this impacts your life. The amount of time you can have when you don’t play video games every waking hour is amazing to take advantage of, because now you have so much more time to do the things you actually want to do. Keep me posted on how it goes.
I read trough all the comments and I can honestly say that I relate to each one of them. I got my first computer at the age of 15 and things just started to snowball from there. I dropped out of college, my self esteem is at an all time low and I’ve never experienced a healthy relationship with the opposite sex. My lack of social correspondence made me feel extremely disgusted about myself whenever I was faced with a new, uncertain situation, like talking to a total stranger at a bar. I would only leave my house for daily necessities.
On a certain Saturday night, it all changed though. I was listening to Joe Satriani’s If I Could Fly after playing hours on of various games and yet again feeling bad afterwards. It struck to me like a vision given to me by a higher entity, and I realized that I didn’t want to spend my days like this. Who knows how many we got them left. My aunt had recently passed away after fighting years with cancer and that alone had made me question my lifestyle. Following this streak of clarity I sold my desktop pc and gave my xbox and ps3 to a local youth center. I intend to lead a happy and balanced life from now on. For the first time in nearly a decade I feel sincerely happy.
This is more of a personal testimony than a comment on your original article but I felt the need to tell my story out loud for the first time. Maybe someone struggling with a similar situation can gain something out of this and maybe, just maybe, be able to overcome the addiction.
Hi! i like your speech as well as the others and i would really like to start reading more of your speech’s.This website really gives me the chance to realize how many things you can change while going through the life cycle.I have a story of my own as well and it took a long time to finish.If you keep reading I can tell you the story.
THE STORY by:Autum Trio
One night I was playing games and I started getting bored of playing them and went to my computer to look up how to quit video games and I saw some pretty shitty stuff there (like once it said to get off your fucking ass)and I saw and did so many things that just didn’t turn out to be so great (like once i ended up getting the boyfriend i never wanted) and i got so fucking tired and decided to do something of my own so i called mom and asked her what she would do and it really didn’t work at all (she said to cuss all day) I made up my mind to just go to you and i wanted to see if you had advice and luckily you did i tried it and it really worked! THANK YOU CAM!
Snuggles,
Autum <3
@JED – Thanks for popping by and leaving your comment. Amazing that you spent the time to read through every comment, since there’s a lot of them! Your story is incredible. It’s inspiring to see how you’ve taken the challenge on and committing to seeing it through. I love how you donated your gear to a local youth center. That’s a great idea and next time someone asks me whether or not they should sell their xbox, I’m going to suggest donating it. Thankful you told your story. Have you had a chance to check out any of our other articles? Would love to hear your feedback on them as well.
@Autum – Very happy to receive your comment. Thanks for taking the time. I’m glad you are enjoying our website, and hope to see you comment on many more articles to come. Best of luck in your journey, be strong! 🙂
Did you think putting in pictures of hot girls playing games was going to STOP people. No.
Do you guys hate it when you browse 9GAG and then some troll posts about gaming appear?
I have just had such a situation recently, and it made me want to play some video games. But I won’t.
Yeah one suggestion is: Tone down the cursing it gets very FUCKING annoying… =/
Wow, story of my life(almost)
Nice article. I used to be a Call of duty 4 – Promod champ, won tournies, came close to winning many (lost 3 finals), that game used to be my life.
But I’m glad that I quit, I just realized serious gaming is not going to get me anywhere in life.
@ AnotherGamer: Happy to hear you were able to quit and start focusing on living your life to the fullest. What is your plan now?
Fantastic article! One of the best around. I agree with many of the posts here regarding the amount of junk articles that helped no one quit. I found this link on a web page of some big website showing people how to quit video games go figure…
I won’t get into the details of my whole life story, but I was very addicted to video games since 14. I have a gaming pc and all the consoles and a handhelds. It’s the only thing I looked forward to in my day. Some days I would play all night or even all day depending on what I had going on. I dont know what clicked for me and said this is a waste of time and money but something did. It has probably been about 8 months now since I quit and I am so much happier than I was before. I sold my gaming pc for a nice laptop and iPad. Gave my consoles away to my little brothers and I kept my ds because my girlfriend likes to play Mario at night.
I haven’t really found that new hobby quite yet, but I think I’ll find it when I am ready to find it. I have been focusing on going to gym and hiking at a local trail of mine. I also kinda got into air soft and air guns. I am having a blast with them! I justed wanted to thank you for the great article and let everyone know that you can do whatever you set your mind to! If you think your wasting time then you probably are! Get up off your butt and do something about it. No one controls your life. You do!!!
Well there’s your problem. Starcraft counterstrike wow. Popular does not mean ‘best’ this are in fact in my opinion the worst type of games there are(starcraft maybe not so much). I love video games, and I do not plan on letting them go anytime soon, but I am not addicted.
I’ve seen a pattern in people that are “addicted” to games, and those are only the ones into competitive playing, those who teabag in fps, those who grind for loot in wow-type mmorpgs.
That Fd up part of human nature trying to screw the rest of the world that they find in online gamming is what they are addicted to.
I hate playing with other people, they get in my way, and I’m not saying im “so good”, I’m saying my playstyle is very systematical, I just don’t enjoy other people getting in.
So I love playing solo games, and that means I can play them whenever I feel like without the urgency of not being the “number 1 hunter in wow” if I don’t grind 16 hours a day.
Once you kick out that inherent douchebag-competitive-behavioral-tick, video games turn out to not be addictive, just incredibly amazing hobbies, just as much as reading a book or watching a movie.
Either way, great article, and hope you don’t fall into addiction again. Good luck~
@CAM Thanks for asking, but first I just want to write about my gaming “career” now that I see so many people have done it in the comments section 😀 First, I’m asian and I dont want to give away my alias, my old clan mates might be reading this article haha;D So, Heres my story: )
2007 – I was 13, I got my first gaming computer. I had games like GTA San Andreas, Need for Speed and so on, then my dad bought internet to our home ….probably the biggest mistake he ever did. I mean that, I remember when I was in school way BEFORE we got internet – I had so many friends, I used to be one of one of the most popular guys in my grade. I spent most of my free time hanging out with friends, so much fun we had laughing and doing crazy shit. However, my exam results in school were not good.. this is because I didn’t study much and it made my dad rage. Trust me, it really hurts inside me to look at what a cool outgoing guy I was ..and to look at what I have become now.
So, around this time we had internet at home..this is when I moved into the “multiplayer” side of gaming..oh and what a long LONG ride! I couldn’t get good grades to make my parents proud so I just played video games all day long in my holidays..it helped to get my mind off my studies.
The First FPS game I played was Swat 4, I joined a multiplayer server(VIP mode) and straight away joined a clan called “FAB”..they were really impressed by my style of play so I became popular in the Swat4 community in no time. Yes, it is a small community, I don’t think anyone even plays that game now. My clan had over 30 members who actively played in 5v5 wars and ladders.
So, I gave up a little on Swat 4..I was really good at it but it stopped being fun when there was no competition. All other teams were crap, it was too easy for my clan. Here is a video of some frags of my clan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl5v8M2xeN8
2008 – One day after school, me and some of my friends found a gaming cafe with a bunch of people playing this game called “Call of duty modern warfare”. (Cod4). We played some games 3v3 and there was one guy who was really good, no one could kill him, I had this weird feeling inside me that told me one day I will be a godlike COD4 player. I was obsessed right there right then. I found a new challenge!
For weeks and months we used to play in this gaming cafe, around 10 computers, me + my friends + random people playing for hours. I started getting pretty good, sometimes I lied to my parents so I could sneak out with my friends to play this game.
2009 – I found out that I could play COD4 multiplayer at home through the internet. I went out and bought the game, got a gaming keyboard+mouse, better video card and I started playing the game online in pub servers, I read about a competative mod called “promod” so I joined a promod pub server. I was invited to join a clan after 2 weeks in xfire, I accepted. A lot of people in my clan kept complimenting me just how good I am for a starter and one day I will be an amazing player, when people stuff like that to me I wanted to impress them even more. I started playing scrims, mixes and instantly became popular, I was invited into other clans(skill level – high), II switched clans after few months and thats where my amazing online journey in COD4 starts.
2010 – I joined my new clan and started practising day and night, I was a natural at the game. I started watching demos of top EU teams playing and I tried to learn and improve my game. Strangely enough I was top fragging in all scrims for my new team in no time, it was the 3rd or 4th best team in the country at the moment and my team mates were trying to learn from me! How weird is that? I had only been playing for few months and I was already a pro.
My team started participating in tourenments, it wasn’t until the 3rd tourny that we actually won. But anyway it felt good to win after coming so close to winning a tourenment. From there onwards, I was easily one of the top 3 players in the country. I don’t mean to brag, but I really was what many gamers would say – “godlike”. Its almost as if I was hacking, I had amazing game sense back then, I could kill off the entire enemy team just by predicting positions with my experience.
2011 – My team participated in ACL – A tourny organized by power(pwr) gaming asia. This league/tourny had ALL the asian COD4 teams(over 80 teams) and there was a prize for the winning team. We made strats day and night, however my team broke down because most of the players had to put real life matters ahead of gaming. So we dropped out of the league. At this time I had enough of COD4, my team was easily the best in our country, it started to get boring so we all went our own ways, college, abroad studies, work, etc
2012 – I stopped competative gaming, I knew I was obsessed/addicted to gaming, I wanted to go back to having real life friends, and real life achievements. I got a laptop for my college work and decided thats it. I left the gaming scene. It makes me feel really bad when I look back at those wasted 5 years of my life. Its amazing how gaming addiction can destroy a person, yes, I mean from the inside, I don’t have the witty and unique personality I had when I was 13 that made me popular and made it easy for me to socialize and make new friends. But whatver, I’m going to keep trying till I succeed. Good luck to all you gamers out there 🙂
I’m going to college now and maybe going abroad for further studies to get my business degree + masters. Thats my dream right now 🙂
Video games are my escape and to relax when I come home from work. I used to be a “gaming addict” playing them for 18 hours a day. I realized that was a waste of time and started working and enjoyed making money more than I did playing games. I’ve come to realize that I’m a workaholic and need to get back into gaming, as my life isn’t that fun anymore.
I guess what I’m trying to say, is, everything in moderation. You cannot have too much of one thing. Hell there for a while, I thought being a workaholic would complete me. I can’t tell you how dull working 14 hour days – coming home to eat and sleep is.
Very nicely written Cam, people that were addicted to video games themself can describe it much better.
I have been playing video games my whole life, from the N64 to World of Warcraft. I’m 19 years old now and it feels as if I have been stuck in time since my childhood. A half year ago I quitted WoW, cold turkey. It was a hard decision, but after playing it everyday for over 2 years I was just fed up with it. I deleted everything and there would be no way I could ever play that game again. So for the next few weeks I felt a huge burden was off me. I had LOADS of free time and improved my sport significantly. However I did not have a hobby to ditch the downtime. Then one day an old friend from WoW invited me to play League of Legends. I thought it wouldn’t be that bad considering I have stopped gaming and was pretty bored. Unfortunately, the game was a bit too much fun and it again turned out to be another daily addiction, to this day. Months have passed playing that game and I stumbled upon this article on how to quit gaming completely. Right now I am a bit fed up with the game, just as I was like the day I quitted WoW, but tomorrow I would most likely play it again.
I have to quit gaming some day, I have many things that I want to do. Get my driving licence, study more often, becoming a better athlete and especially becoming more social. All that is possible if I could just get my arse off the computer. I just can’t find the courage nor discipline to quit yet.
*This comment wasn’t easy to write..* And the funny part about this comment, i never was and never will be good at video games lol. Total time taken to write it :40 minutes.
Basically what your saying is that us as humans, got no option but to go from one addiction to another, a more positive addiction/hobby one might say.
I went through all the fazes of being addicted – playing 15-16 hours a day, to staying up from 10 pm till 7 am or once even till 12 in the afternoon the next day just playing a clan vs clan activity, but this all started when i was 14 in 2004, before that i was an average gamer sure i was a nerd that played a lot of games and downloaded many pirated games and bought bootleg Cd’s/dvd’s – i had limits because..
I had my older brother around to stop me, in 2004 he went to a special ‘gifted’ kids high school in Jerusalem (which was majority jewish and hes arab) and after that i had no limits, and very shortly after i became mega hooked to playing online games, mainly medal of honor allied assault..
I’d play till 3-4 am and fall a sleep during all classes.. I was eventually removed from the game by my parents whom took away my modem, but they made a huge mistake later on.. They gave it back to me during summer vacation of 2004.. I started playing Mohaa again but this time i didnt stay up late during week days – i’d stay up late during week ends only.. I played till 2005 – and thats when the clan leader had a life altering event, his cousin died in a car accident and he quit the game and passed on leadership to another person…
I was immediately kicked for being ‘foreign arab’ (this is one thing we have to remember, no matter how much effort you put into a clan/game, it means nothing! so its pointless!!) i quit the game all together after that and never played it again.
but that didn’t end there, i started focusing on Runescape more now (i started the game 1 year before, its an MMORPG and jagex just released rs2 for free, so i gave it ago) i got involved in clans and social events and few years later became a leader of one clan.. I only started staying up late for Runescape during 2009, before that i’d just play a lot (started 1 hour a day, became 5 hours a day and stayed that way till 2008 – where i eventually quit the game for a year and focused on my last year of high school and thankfully got good GED diploma)…
During that year (2009) i had a crappy job, i was a graduate of high school but there was the economic recession and the hotel i worked in closed, i spent the next few months looking for work and occasionally working in small ‘gigs’, i traveled the region around me and never found a steady job, nobody could find a job.. I turned my attention to Runescape and became very involved in it, after a year or so of break i came back to the game and found out all the friends i made online quit, and i had to start making new ones all over again.. i did that, and spent the next few months playing the game and the way to do that was by joining a clan, which is what i did, right away i joined an EST based clan and started staying up late till 4-5 am.. I became a leader.. It was a lot of fun and very addictive.. And very hard and CHALLENGING… Thats what kept me playing.
Later on i signed up for college, and got accepted.. And this addiction went on with me..
For my first year i continued to play and lead the clan i put so much effort into it that i neglected so much of my homework/studies, eventually i got an average of 80 just good enough to pass to second year, i didnt complete all the mandatory studies for first year.. So during second year i continued the studies.. And just obsessed with Runescape, this caused so much problems for my room mates, as i would be ‘leading’ and ‘calling’ on teamspeak for my clan while their trying to sleep, this drove them crazy and they hated me because of it.
For me, gaming was NOT a private ‘secret’ every one in my village knew i play video games and ever knew i played runescape, and every one around me knew am a gamer, i just cant believe so many people put up with it..
Anyway, during second year, i went to do Excavation and that’s where i basically got my rehab- when i came back from that month of amazing experience i loaded up my computer to play runescape to attend some clan events, i never managed to do so.. i have gotten used to waking up at 4 am daily so i failed to attend my clan events for the next few weeks – as i would go to sleep at 9:30 pm my time, and the ‘events’ would start at 12:30 midnight (est clan), eventually i was moved into retired and relinquished of leadership position – which is what i am today, a retired member of the same clan i have been in since december 2008/January 2009.
During the vacation of last year from college, i spent most of my time working in a hotel till next college year started, i showed up always on time and always did my work well, i spent no time playing Runescape or attending any of the events (i had to wake up at 5 am daily, so staying up late was impossible), and till this day i got used to waking up early and for that i never stay up late anymore.
Now i am still curious about gaming and i think every one should play games they want to play and avoid addictive MMORPG’S, personally i love singleplayer games it takes me now days weeks to beat a game (where in the past it would take me a day or two) i still download torrents from tpb and try out the ‘hot’ games, but all i get out of it now is just BOREDOM i hate it, and i eventually delete the game after few minutes of gameplay.
For my third year of college i did a total 180, i started studying hardcore and spending more time with friends, more outgoing, hanging out etc.. I still need more hobbies though, i still download video games but i never play them And frankly…
i spend more time POSTING and typing about VIDEO games on forums/blogs than actually playing them, i think all the new games suck, and the only game i truly enjoy playing Is Counter Strike 1,6.. I have never been in a cs clan and i never will join 1 because i know i’ll just get hooked again. So after 12 years, from playing the game on a bootleg Cd to a none steam client to actually buying the steam pack in 2009, i play so little (total 127 hours on cs 1.6 since 2009) and just for the pure fun of it, i never compete and i never try to be #1 on any server i just play and close it when am bored.
Overall i think every one should play games they want but must remember to keep it in moderation, now that i’ve grown up i understand that, but sadly when i was young i didn’t, i just knew i was addicted and didn’t care.. AM going to try even harder since this year i complete my B.A and next year i start my M.A in archaeology, i just want to do whats right, there is so much temptations in life and there is so much bullshit, and gaming has truly distracted me from whats important in life, for instance i have over 200 days gameplay in Runescape on my main account, had i spent that time being politically active or socially active am sure i could of helped CHANGE THINGS AROUND, and thats what i wanna start doing.
Thanks to everybody who has commented recently for stopping in and reading the article. I appreciate you leaving feedback.
@Mark: Love your post. I completely agree with what you’ve said. Check out the post by Alden Tan on our blog called “4 Step Guide to Find Passion”, http://kingpinlifestyle.com/4-step-guide-on-how-to-find-passion/, it might be able to help you find that new hobby you love.
@Julio: Haha it’s pretty true man, good observation, thanks for the feedback.
@Anothergamer: Try not to view the last 5 years as a waste of time and something you now regret. Instead, view it as merely the amount of time it took you in order to figure out what it was that you truly did want out of life, like you said: real life friends, real life achievements. Now my question to you is this: What are some of your other goals? How do you plan on having real life friends and achievements. I’d love to help!
@Aric: I don’t think the solution is either in video games or being a workaholic. Definitely everything in moderation. To me it seems like you are searching for something to make you happy, but you tried to fill it with video games initially – which didn’t work – so you went to becoming a workaholic but realized that wasn’t working either. What else do you enjoy other than games and work? What are you PASSIONATE about? The answer I believe lies within that.
@Coconut: Success never comes from a lack of commitment. If you aren’t 100% committed to making the necessary decisions to achieve your dreams and do the things you want you’ll never do them. Straight up. You just got to commit and be relentless about that decision moving forward. There’s always going to be a reason or excuse to continue playing video games, but at the end of the day, the only thing you need to actually quit is to make that decision and stick to it. 🙂 Good luck.
@Anonymousgamer: Really appreciate you taking the time to spend 40 minutes writing out your comment. I appreciate your effort! I don’t view it as going from one addiction to another, whether it’s more positive or not. I view it as going from one addiction to video games to actually spending your time doing the things you love to do. The article was trying to show that many people THINK they truly enjoy video games, but it’s because video games are filling the 4 needs I described above. If you fill those holes in your life, you tend to no longer have much of an interest in playing video games. Something we like to say here at Kingpin Social is this: Why not play the ultimate video game? It’s called Life. http://kingpinlifestyle.com/social-dynamics-is-the-ultimate-video-game/
I’m excited to hear that you want to start doing other things, trying harder and making a difference. What’s important to people is different for everyone, but I think spending time on the things you find important is the most rewarding way to spend your time.
Great article. You really helped fully realize what the insidious nature of these games are.
I was going through a bit of a struggle because I’d find myself playing rfactor, mindlessly driving around Nordschleife. I guess I had fooled myself into thinking that since it’s a “simulator” and not a “game” that somehow it was less harmful than the FPS games I had been addicted to. Well, not really. Seriously though, like I am going to invite over a woman and say “Hey, ride with me on this simulated Nordschleife… it’s based on CAD data… just like the real thing. You’ll love it!” Ummm… yeah fucking right, huh? I never got hardcore into the social side of sim racing but I did end up getting into the modding part, so it -was- a nice way to introduce myself to 3ds Max but after 6 months of working on this “virtual” race track I realized that nothing I was doing was very important actually, and that I should apply 3d design skills to something else more relevant. The part I did not get into were the leagues in sim racing… wow… those are some hardcore folks… building “virtual” race cars right in there bedrooms or basements, spending up to thousands on setups. Perhaps it was good I never got too hardcore.
Anyway, I ended up deleting my games recently but I had that strong withdrawal and felt so proud of myself that I “undeleted” my “important” files. So I played for a few more weeks. Then the other night I was thinking about my life as I was, like a zombie, doing hotlaps and realized that I too had to make that commitment.
31 years old, life going nowhere fast… got to fully make a change… no half ass stuff anymore… no time for it.
Once again, great article! I will definitely be checking out this site more.
Hi Gerald. Thank you very much for leaving your feedback on my article. It means a lot. It’s amazing how many hours you can spend engaged in these games, whatever it may be that you’re doing: farming in WoW, FPSing it up in counterstrike, building virtual race cars, all of these games are just endless amounts of hours.
I’m happy to hear you were able to delete the games. I’m glad you were able to understand the commitment to quitting and staying game-free is the most important.
I’d love to hear more about your story and help you out. E-mail me. Easiest way is by going here (it comes right to my inbox): http://kingpinlifestyle.com/submit-question/
I am full blown addicted to gaming…from RPGs like Mass Effect and worst of all…COD…im ready to give it up and just posted my ps3/xbox 360/wii/nintendo 3ds to craigslist…this will be the third time I have up and sold everything cold turkey…the past 2 times i lost 24-30lbs and was a much happier person in every aspect of life. I find myself subconsciously making excuses not to do things…soo here we go again. My biggest issue (advice?) Is when i sell everything…ign and other gaming sites/apps are easy to access so its taunting..ya know
Hey Jake. Thanks for dropping by and leaving your comment. As I’ve said in the past few replies to comments, selling your gear, uninstalling, quitting, etc etc are all important steps, but the most important step is to actually COMMIT to not playing ever again. Failure is only an option if it’s an option you are leaving on the table. If you make the commitment to not play any games ever again, and you do not compromise on that decision, you’ll be good. Remember, success never comes from a lack of commitment.
Any one can do it, I grew up with video game all around me, with over 12 years of gaming experience, I’m currently 16 turning 17 and over a year ago I stopped. I started eating healthy, working out and socialising (with girls). I now play basketball and keep playing and playing, I have dreams of making it big, and I mean really big. When I get there I will give half my profits to help the poor. What I want to say is drop games, just walk away, become a better person.
Remember Me
Hey ‘Remember Me’, thanks for leaving your comment. That’s an awesome comment, you’re going to do amazing things!
this guy decided to make an experiment – 31 days without computer games. Working great. http://en.changegarden.net/category/experiments/31-days-without-computer-games/
Thanks for the advice dude, you really helped me change my life. I’m 16 years old and i WAS addicted to League of Legends and most importantly Call of Duty Blacks ops
I’ve played Blackops for 40 days!
And League for like 25 days.
You are right that games are addicting mainly because of the social part
I DELETED all my friends online, i didn’t even said a word at all.
Cold turkey rules!
I hope to be successful like you =P
Good luck XD
Hey Adrian?, thanks for commenting! Good luck man. Stay committed! It’ll pay off.
Hey man, I’ve been playing games for a very long time and although I had the grades in high school, it started to take a toll on me in college. I started playing games more and more and somewhat neglected my studies. Even though I still have great grades, my social life sucks. I tried joining some clubs, but I was too nervous and socially awkward. The funny thing is that I’m outspoken at home and can articulate my thoughts with real friends from time to time. There’s still a part of me that’s addicted to a competitive arena mode in the Witcher 2.
About that organizations situation, you mind giving any tips to be more confident in approaching both girls and interesting people who could enrich my life? College is way too bland if I keep studying and only respond to people via email. I try to be interesting around people but my self esteem sucks (being a fairly slender dude and really quiet everywhere) and then this impacts me in class as well, since I never speak to new people or don’t know how to correctly make a good impression on others.
Hi Theinterwebs. There are a lot of articles that address what you are looking to fix on this very website.
By no means am I an expert or anything I can think of a couple things that helped me to expand my socializing.
Push yourself. If you don’t speak to new people then start. Don’t have high expectations at first but at least force yourself to say something to someone. Doesn’t need to be extensive but at least a hi can be a start. It is ok to be nervous. Expect it to be awkward if you aren’t used to doing it. Once you start getting over that nervous feeling talking to someone you don’t know it will slowly get easier. You feel more and more comfortable talking to people the more you do it.
Don’t over emphasize each possible encounter. The more weight you place on not screwing up or looking stupid the more likely you will come across as nervous or weird.
People are just people. They are just as concerned about what you are thinking about them as the reverse. Most people are willing to talk if you are.
Don’t be self defeating. You are who you want to be. If you walk up to someone thinking that you don’t make good impressions it doesn’t exactly set you up for success. If you tell yourself I can talk to anyone you just might be able to fool yourself.
No one will notice you being slender if you speak and act confidently.
Stop worrying about failure. The sooner you start trying and accepting the possibility of failure the sooner you realize that it is the quickest path to growth and success. This is not to say that you shouldn’t try to maximize your chances of success but learn to never let the possibility of failure stand in your way. The more you are subjected to it, the more you realize that more often than not there are no lasting effects. Just stand up, dust yourself off and try again.
You will slowly change if you put a concerted effort to do so. Best of luck!
Hey, Cam!
Do you think only online games are addictive, and singleplayer ones are not? Because in the online games you chat with other people and make some friends. Plus you want to better than everyone else ingame.
And in singleplayer games you just play with yourself.
Please let me know what you are thinking.
Thank you to everyone who dropped by and left their comments recently. I really do appreciate you taking the time to leave your feedback.
@TheInterwebs – Definitely check out the rest of the site for some articles related to those topics. Also, you can send us an e-mail here: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/submit-question/ and we will happily help you out over e-mail. What do you think is the cause of your low self-esteem? What areas of your life are you currently proud of? What areas of your life do you wish you were doing more? Is there a hobby (other than video games) that you’ve always wanted to go after?
To start socializing like “Dunno” said, keep things easy. Even a goal of approaching one person per day can do a lot of good over time. NExt time you go to Starbucks and order a coffee, genuinely ask the Barista how her day is going. Add more enthusiasm in your voice when you ask and you’ll notice an immediately difference in how the person reacts to you. A good article to check out for someone new starting out is here: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/newbie-goal/
@Dunno – Thanks for the help answering questions. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to help out.
@Lobster – I don’t think video game addiction only applies to online games. I do think there’s a decent chance that online social games are *more* likely to have you become addicted simply because they involve the social side, however I do still believe single player games fill necessary areas that, if you do not have filled in the rest of your life, will cause you to become addicted to the games. Can you escape by playing single player games? Absolutely. Are they a challenge? For sure. There is constantly measurable growth as well. I do think that someone spending a bit of time here and there playing single player games is ok (everything in balance is ok right?), but I always ask the question: is there something else you would rather be doing than playing that game?
Umm hey cam is it k to play video games in moderation???
My guidance teacher advised me to play video games on the week end, when i have acomplashed everything. Ex: school, work, etc.
BTW i posted a something here a few days ago stating that i stop playing video games.
It’s really hard, now i play them in moderation when I’m done everything
Tl;DR their just games, don’t fail school and be like this guy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcWlkZSfey8
I’m 16 btw
Hey Adrian,
I think games in moderation are fine, however consider whether or not they are productive. In my opinion and as I state in the article, people that generally play video games are using them to fill their boredom instead of spending that time doing activities and things they are passionate about. Once you have accomplished everything, school, work, etc, what can you do? Sure you can play games and that might not be a bad thing, but a question worth asking yourself is:
Do you really want your life to be this schedule day in and day out:
Work/School 9-5, Study/Eat for a bit in the evening and then play video games until you sleep, rinse and repeat every day? I don’t know if that’s TRULY what people want to be doing. Downtime is definitely key without a doubt, but what other activities could you use in your downtime instead of video games?
However I still think it is possible to earn the addiction even when playing video games only once you have accomplished everything.
Is it just me, or at some point in quitting playing video games you start thinking, that you didn’t have the addiction, and it won’t be bad to go and play video games again ?
What if nothing comes close to the experience video games offer? I used to be a hardcore gamer, then I learned pickup too. Now I’m focusing on my studies and want to go into finance. But I was thinking of becoming a video game developer.
Problem I have is that I quit games two times already. First, I played from age 11-16. didn’t play age 16-20. Played again 20-21. Didn’t play 22-24. I’m 24 now.
I have really tried a lot of stuff in my life, except for drugs, smoking and alcohol. I drink sometimes, but I got drunk only once. Problem I have is NOTHING comes close to the experience videos games offer, especially games like CSS or Starcraft. NOTHING. Not even sex with a hot chick.
You just keep on going, improving your life, earning money, hoping for a better life. But what if what you really want is right in front of your face? I have a really hard time telling the difference between PASSION and ADDICTION. If I could choose, I would start gaming again in an instant, but I’m afraid that would ruin my life. But again, in the end, we’re all dead anyway. So I guess my question is:
How do you tell the difference between PASSION and ADDICTION?
Hey Cam,
I replied to this article few weeks ago about how I wasted my many years of my life playing COD4 on a competitive level with clans and how I quit. Last week one of my old team mates talked me into playing an online tournament with 25 other teams or so and I said yes I will write why later in this post. I already played 2 games in the tourny and I don’t like where this is going, my team is close to winning this tournament but I don’t want to get back in to gaming…but then again I am not happy with my social life I can’t help but get back to playing this game once every 2 days so I can have some fun.
I’m a football(soccer) fan and the premier league season just ended, I got nothing to watch on TV for 3 more months and I got nothing to do when I get home., I got a few friends from college only one of them is really a close friend but I don’t feel like hanging out with them. How can I be less socially awkward and stay committed to what I want in life ? Please help 🙂 thx
Just to let you know, I read all 184 comments on this post and bookmarked it. You had some good advice and I appreciate the fact that you reply to each one.
PASSION vs ADDICTION continued
I finished university and I need to decide what to do with my life. I thought a lot about it, what’s the purpose of it all and the fact that I’m going to be dead anyway in 60 something years, after which it doesn’t matter a bit.
Since I quit gaming, I have been focusing on self improvement like crazy. I have graduated from university with really good grades and I have a job offer from a bank where I could earn shit loads of money. I also have a girlfriend of 2 years. Before that I partied a lot, did lots of different sports, basketball competitively, learn PUA, and tried to get as much experience as possible, all the different tastes of life.
I am amazed by my friends who manage to focus on studies while still play video games every now and then. This is something I find very difficult to do. I am still feeling the same thing as before when I was 20 and started to play again. No matter how good my life is looking now, I feel I have a void inside me. Nothing can fill this void. For some reasons, video games likes Starcraft where one plays in a team using skill and intellect have extreme effects on me. I don’t get this experience anywhere else in life. NOTHING comes close. I would describe it as euphoria, immersion and flow.
I need to know what is this, because it’s still making me have dreams about Starcraft at night after all these years of not playing. Is it Passion or is it Addiction? I cannot tell. Sure I could go on, have a successful life, work myself to death, but what is the point of it all if what I really LOVE is play video games? On the other hand, what is the point of it all if I only feel good when I play, but otherwise I am depressed about how my life sucks in all other areas because I neglect it?
Since I completed a computer science degree, I was thinking of going into video game development instead of banking. But I don’t know if the voice that is speaking to me is that of PASSION or ADDICTION. So my question is still the same, what is the difference between PASSION and ADDICTION?
Wouldn’t that be great if there was something like a website where you can sign up, enter the date when you quit playing video games. For example there could be some forums and of course the system which congratulates you each month you don’t play video games. You could chat there and all that stuff.
P.S. Is there a way to play videogames with passion and NOT the addiction when you are already addicted. Maybe sometime in the future ?
It takes almost one day for somebody to post a comment or reply. 🙁
I think some differences between PASSION and ADDICTION are that passions add to your life whereas addictions take away many things.
For instance, I have missed much socializing because I would do things that are addictive, like play games for hours on end. I think you have to draw the line at whenever something stops being enriching and starts consuming your life. It’s difficult… I actually started working on my Nordschleife mod again, but after 1 month of not touching rfactor I realized that it wasn’t totally a bad thing, but I just need to not let it consume all my spare time. One thing with this though is that by modding and being actively involved in CREATING something, I am learning skills that can be applied elsewhere and I am not just mindlessly consuming something or just burning time with nothing to show for it.
I guess you just have to analyze for yourself exactly why you do what you do. You have to ask yourself what each and every activity you do in your life actually adds to it. I guess with me I started observing that I was just falling into the same old habits when I was younger of just mindlessly “playing”… actually my “playing” was getting in the way of continuing the progress on the mod. I would think to myself “Okay I need to update this, and this…” but then I would just drive lap after lap and never do it. So when I started on my mod again after the 1 month hiatus, I ended up completing so much in just a couple of days that I had been putting off for a couple of months! Turns out I was just stuck on some sort of auto-pilot but wasn’t actively involved in the hobby… like imagine someone who builds model trains but never completes the model and just plays with the train.
So anyway, I guess I will just see how it goes. I try not to be too pedantic about anything but follow principles instead… so I guess I can’t say “No games or else!” but I can say “Try to create and not just consume.” “Don’t waste time.”
“Consumption is fleeting but creation is lasting.”
“A wasted minute is a minute lost.”
Oh yes, I will also say that I don’t think all recreation is a waste. Actually I think overworking yourself is a waste. Recreation makes people happy because it can be enriching. I think if you’re really honest with yourself you can tell if what you are doing, recreation or work-wise, is fulfilling or not.
I don’t get it. Are people addicted to all the video games at once? Or are they addicted for example to just 1 or 2 games?
Which of these is most common?
For some reason when I used to play video games I was bored pretty often and I thought it would be great to go and do something else.
But, when I went to do something else I immediately started to think that playing video games is so fun and that something I was doing instead of playing video games was so boring.
However, when I got back to playing I was bored again. And then the cycle just repeated and repeated.
Could anyone tell me why was that happening?
Hey Cam,
I’ve been a pretty intense gamer for over a decade. I used to splash out on extravagant computer systems and then sell them a year later to try and break away from the habit. My problem is I’m obsessed with the competitive outlet PC games provide. I find without that outlet I have no outlet. Although I’ve been without games for a whole year (traveling the world) i find the desire to play games never goes away. My friends and brothers are all playing Diablo 3 and DOta 2 together back in my home country and telling me it is the most amazing game and even though I’m traveling the world and doing amazing things I can’t shake the feeling that I’m actually the one missing out. It sounds crazy but it’s the plain truth, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that way. life after being addicted to games often seems dull. I miss it and I don’t know if I will ever be able to forget it.
Hey cam, YOU ARE RIGHT VIDEO GAMES SUCK. The only reason people play them because they are a temporary escape to reality, such as heroin and dangerous addictive drugs. After like 2 weeks of moderation. I am getting so sicko and tired of video games. I like the social aspect of video games( THAT’S WHY THEIR SO ADDICTIVE). Chilling with friends and socializing with people in real life is way more rewarding and fulling. although their is more stress in real life and more frightening. IT IS WORTH IT.
VIDEO GAME ADDICTION IS LIKE A HEROIN ADDICTION
IF U WANT TO QUIT play in moderation first. then video games will start to stuck then your good
TOOK ME 1 MONTH to quit
THANK U CAM ^_^
P.S
dude is it cool if i tell u my life story and how it relates to my past gaming addiction =
I think it i will help me move on
@lobster aka Dirty Lobbo,
That feeling is all too familiar with me. I don’t know why it is. Maybe its a case of greener grass, or perhaps I’ve developed ADD. Unfortunately it is more than likely just addiction. Smokers know smoking is bad for them and sometimes no longer enjoy smoking, but that doesn’t stop them. Picture a fat man eating cake and crying. That’s us.
@WOODENKETTLE
“I’m traveling the world and doing amazing things I can’t shake the feeling that I’m actually the one missing out”
“life after being addicted to games often seems dull.”
“I find without that outlet I have no outlet.”
“I miss it and I don’t know if I will ever be able to forget it.”
“i find the desire to play games never goes away”
“extravagant computer systems and then sell them a year later to try and break away from the habit”
This post could have been written by me, haha
@ADRIAN? Do you mean that if a guy who played games for like 10 hours per day for years, starts playing them in moderation, for like 2 hours per day, he will get tired of them?
P.S. How did you quit exactly ? What exactly did you do to quit them for 1 month? I didn’t play video games for 3 months already, but still want to play them.
@LOBSTER
umm dude i asked my guidance teacher at school about my addiction. She said to only play on the weekends when I’m done everything (school, activities). Eventually video games will start to SUCK.
I started to play only on Saturdays. After like 2 – 3 weeks video games started to lose it’s “high”. On the weekdays, when I’am not allowed to play video games, i tend to spend more times on better things such as studying, sports, A SOCIAL LIFE.
Eventually, i didn’t need that “high” from video games, that escape from my sucky reality.
I’m 16 right now.
I started gaming when i was like 9. Grade 6.
I only started to play video games when i lost all my friends =(
yeah, i moved to a new school where my older brother tormented me and made a bad reputation of me. Before i moved to this place i had a few good friends. we would play football and basketball. When their was ALOT OF snow. We would go tobogganing on that big hill where not so posed to go on ^_^. Good times.
Tl:dr
If u just cant go cold turkey (Quit).
Play in moderation (via Saturdays only)
Eventually you’ll find another way to escape
or
love your new reality =P
@ADRIAN?
Few questions:
By saying “weekends” do you mean Friday evening, Saturday and Sunday? Or just Saturday.
Also did you play for like 2 hours at the weekends, or as much as you want?
Did you do all the other stuff except gaming at the weekends too?
Were you having super fun when you just started playing them at the weekends? And then you simply started getting tired of them?
Btw, is there any difference between playing them with friends on Skype and alone? Because when I’m playing them with friends on Skype I’m having super fun and laughing all the time with them, maybe it makes them more adictive?
just sayin if you physically and mentally cant stop and need help, well i mean i can’t take this seriously its just laughable.The terms you use also just show a lack of concern for the metal state of others. So in conclusion your article is laughable, your to upfront with your opinions, generally understand close to nothing real and are just plain rude kudos your now on the list of people i know i’d never enjoy being around
Hi Lobster! What help me quit was to see that games really don’t help me increase any useful skills. After I realized that sitting at the computer clicking a button a bunch of times seemed like such a waste of time. I started to look at other aspects of my life like a game where I need to challenge myself and level up. I started to enjoy the challenge of getting go grades in school and almost lost interest in games completely because i was actually doing something beneficial. Its good to find something else you enjoy to replace games completely. I have a high addiction to being the best at games so I can’t even play them for a little while. Quitting cold turkey was the only way that worked for me.
This was a very good article, i have read about video game addiction and related topics for a month or so now, this is because i have noticed that i think way to much about video games.
I don’t actually play all that much but i think and read about video games more than i wold like..
The last 5-6 months i have sold/deleted 99% of my games, because i realize that games are just a temporary escape, i don´t do anything while i play games.
Basically i sit in front of the TV and push buttons on a plastic controller.
I feel like i am wasting my life, and i don´t like that.
Last week i moved to a new apartment and i don´t have a TV here so i have no way of playing on my video game consoles which is a god thing right now, and i am bored of video games anyway.
I don´t think i will stop completely because i do like games, but i will play less.
I do not play online because i do not find it fun, i do not like competitive gaming.
– Andy
Hey guys,
Apologies for the late replies to all of your comments. It’s been a wild week for us here at Kingpin Social so I haven’t had a chance to sit down and respond to all of you, until now. Either way, thank you very much to everyone who has left comments and also taken the time to help me out and answer other peoples questions. Your efforts don’t go unnoticed, I really do appreciate the support.
@ Lobster – I definitely think it’s possible to have the feeling that you weren’t that addicted and you can play again. It’s a mind trick! But the key is to remember this: You didn’t decide to quit playing video games because you had an addiction or anything else, you decided to quit because you wanted to get more out of your life and playing video games is something unproductive and isn’t an activity that is moving your life towards the direction that you want. A question I would like you to brainstorm and respond back with is what other activities you enjoy doing. Also, what are some NEW activities you’d be willing to try. Get creative. For me, I’ve taken salsa lessons, hiphop classes, I’ve gone bungee jumping and taken up DJing. All of these helped push me in a direction to try new things and take more risks, instead of staying in my house playing games all day. Remember, the key to quitting is to fill that time with more productive activities. If you are just sitting at home bored all day, you will start playing again. You need to have new activities.
@Tonio99 – It’s a tough question to have an answer to. I think some activities you can look into may be within the sports realm. Have you ever played any sports competitively? The vibe I got playing video games was very similar to when I played hockey, so maybe sports might be a good avenue for you to consider. I feel like the best way to know if something is a passion or an addiction is the affect (positive or negative) it has on your life. Addictions take value from your life and passions make it better. That might be a good initial indicator. Becoming a video game developer could be an interesting job for sure, but if all you do is play and make video games all day, are you truly happy? This answer is completely relative, but I think moderation and having other things going on is very important. The issue isn’t in the games itself, it’s in the way they consume every aspect of your life. Also, THANK YOU for taking the time to read every comment on the post. There is so many that it’s hard to keep up, but I’m very thankful for everyone who has commented so far. I think there’s been very good discussions in the comments of this post.
@Anothergamer – Definitely a good sign that you aren’t feeling the same value from video games as you did previous. Sounds to me like you need to get your lifestyle going more. Sitting around watching TV all day isn’t any better than sitting around playing video games. We need to get you out doing better activities. Send me an email: cameron@kingpinlifestyle and I’ll help you out more with specifics. Also, if you haven’t already signed up for the newsletter (to get your free ebook), make sure you grab it. It’ll be a good start for you.
@Gerald – Thanks for adding your insight into the conversation. You hit the nail on the head for sure. I completely agree with what you said. Great advice.
@Woodenkettle – HAha love the name. Very creative. I’m also a VERY competitive person. Probably the most competitive person out there, in my eyes. You need to find an outlet for that competitiveness because it’s something you need. The way I’ve been doing it is viewing “creating the life I want” as the biggest competition I have, and it’s a competition against myself. My commitment to being the most badass person I can be is essentially a competition I hold against myself as a way to play my ego against myself in a way that encourages me to grow and go after the exact life I want. As an example, if I want to be a world class DJ that travels the world, if I’m truly a competitive person, wouldn’t I put in all the hard work to make it? Of course right. Something to consider.
@Adrian – Happy to hear you have been able to quit. It’s a very positive step forward in your life. Definitely cool to post your story. I’d love to hear it.
@Lucas Leach – Thanks for taking the time to comment. The post has been a massive success, and has helped many people be able to quit video games and begin improving their life. I guess real success like that is laughable. 😉
@ Clarke – Thanks for commenting. Focusing on studying and viewing it as a challenge and a game is a great way to see more success. Proud of you. 🙂
@ Andy – What are other interests you have that you could read about instead? if you don’t know what interests you have are, consider going to a book store and just browsing around, checking out the different sections and seeing which ones peak your interest. I don’t have a TV in my house and it’s great. Don’t even have a microwave either: it forces me to cook much more often. I like these changes. Good luck, and feel free to email me if you have any questions!
CAM – Thank you for your insight and effort to help others. Like you, I’ve been addicted to hard core, competitive gaming for the better part of the last decade and casual gaming for another decade beyond that. I spent a couple years developing my skills as a PC builder, eventually creating cutting edge machines which completely owned the most expensive PC’s available at retail. Three weeks ago, I put an ax through my $6,000 PC and had a funeral service for my Wii, PS3 and Xbox at my local dump. My friends think I’m INSANE. What they do not understand is EXACTLY what you have laid out in your article. Cutting back on a drug doesn’t solve the addiction. If anything, it probably just makes the situation worse. Cold turkey was my only option. Now I find myself extremely bored and desperately searching for hobbies/activities to fill the time void left by quitting my addiction. I found your article because I was searching for support on this very real addiction. Your article was very helpful and I will be taking your advice on focusing on growth everyday and being more social. I don’t know if I will ever lose the craving to game but I do know that I am done with the addiction and I am, as you say, willing to work to improve my life. On a more personal note, I am finding it difficult to enjoy some of the hobbies I used to participate in before I started gaming competitively. I used to LOVE fishing. Went to the store yesterday and spent $100 on fishing gear only to realize later that day that fishing is VERY boring and I simply do not enjoy it like I used to. Strange. My struggle now is finding who I am and what I want to be and do in life. Awkward that I am just getting around to this at 28 years of age, but when all you do is stare at a pretty picture on a screen for 20 years, real life obviously suffers a great deal. Thanks again.
@ Cliff – Thanks for commenting! Haha putting an axe through your computer must have been a fun experience. Did you record it on video? To deal with the boredom you need to try new things, new activities. What interests do you have? What are things you’ve always wanted to try? Remember that before you started gaming you were also potentially a different person, so the activities you liked previously may have been different than where you’re at now. I’d love to talk to you more about finding out who you are and giving any advice I can!
Well i am very fascinated about psychology and i love to improve myself if there is something i am dissatisfied with.
I am actually planing on studying psychology by the end of this year, and i am very exited by that 🙂
But i am kind of a introverted i have been all my life, and i have only a few friends, but the only problem is that they are all gamers.. i am a little tired hanging out whit them.
I know exactly what we will do every time i go to them, we play games and watch movies, and yes.. thats boring fore me now.
But i have a golden opportunity by the end of this year to make new friends, when i go to university.
I have decided to take a break from gaming and shorten my time on the computer, i know it will be hard but i really want to do it, like you say i have to find other things to do to fill the void, and fore now that can be my challenge.
Listening to music and learning more cords to play on my guitar can be my temporary escape, this will not be so hard 🙂 thank you.
Lots of people post the their story of how they became addicted to video games. So here is mine.
I started playing on the computer when I was like 4 or 5 (Now I’m 14). It was one of my favourite activities, but I wasn’t addicted to it yet, no, I enjoyed doing all the other stuff too. In the beginning I was playing on cartoon network website. All these Kids Next Door, Dexter, Ed, Edd and Eddy games. It was fun.
Then I started playing something bigger, like Master Rally and mostly important: Heroes III. The game was my favourite. Back then I used to play for like 1 or 1 and a half hour, a day, that was a lot for me.
After that, when I was like 7, me and my best friend were super excited about Serious Sam and Serious Sam II. I used to play for like 2 and a half hours a day, already. (See? The amount of time begins to grow)
Then I was obsessed with Runescape and World of Warcraft (Me and my best friend enjoyed it since we were little kids, and I was always jealous of him because my parents didn’t let me to play it due to the monthly fee)
After it, when I was like 10 or 11 I finally got to play World of Warcraft. I was super, ultra happy about it and played for like 8 hours a day in summer, other school-free time and weekends, and for like 2-5 hours on weekdays.
After it, things got real, I could play for like 12 hours a day (On day offs, and for like 2-4 hours on weekdays due to the lack of time because of my homework), however on day offs it was more often like 6-12, not just 12. I played World of Warcraft and League of Legends mostly but, sometimes even some Steam games. I started disliking it a bit, I felt like I don’t want to play the games as much, but when I tried to stop playing them, I was getting really bored. The problem was that I didn’t hang out very often with someone, sometimes I did, but mostly not. I didn’t think that video gaming is the most awesome way to spend your free time, but still I played them a lot.
So here is my story.
Btw I didn’t play video games for 3 months already :D.
CAM: Thank you. I’ll keep it short even though I would love to share my full story like others have but it’s almost 3am and I’m really tired so here’s how tomorrow morning I’m going to do something that’s going to make my life better: I’m going to throw away my PS3 copy of Battleifeld 3. I could sell it but I’ll get more joy out of seeing it being tossed into the garbage than getting couple bucks for it. I’m not quitting gaming but I’m getting out of one type of gaming that has consumed too much of my free time: multiplayer competitive gaming. Other games I could do in moderation, Battlefield got out of hand. I may lose a friend over it (the one that texts me every couple days to see if I’m going to go online with him) but I finally realized “you have to know when you’ve taken it too far” and I have. Battlefield: Bad Company 2: 350 hours and now in Battlefield 3 having just hit 200… I know to probably a few people that’s nothing compared to the crazy hours they’ve put in but for my schedule and lifestyle it was a big part of my life. Time to move on. I’m 27 by the way.
To the younger people just now realizing they’ve “taken it too far”… good for you, you’ll either quit or tame it down and keep it in a healthy moderation and still have your whole 20’s and older to enjoy of hopefully healthy living. I loved how Cam the author always described his reason for quitting as a way “to better your life” and it’s true. We should all try to better people. Cheesy, I know. Maybe I’ve been watching too many TED Talks on Netflix, inspirational stuff (highly recommended).
Well, this is the best article I ever seen… If you want to know the truth, video games addiction is just like drugs addict. In our body system, when we play video games, we will be rewarded, and the rewarding chemical involved is called as dopamine. As we play more games, this chemical dopamine will be increased, saturated, which will cause us the urge to play more games and eventually lead us to have dependency on the games.. Therefore, in order to eliminate this excess chemical, we need to use cold turkey way, in which we force ourself to stop the games completely and survive all the withdrawal symptoms such as craving, agitation at least 2 weeks period due to the dopamine effect. I had tried this before, it was the hardest ever time for me just to survive this 2 weeks and after that, I don’t have the urge to play games anymore. However, from onwards, all you need to do is just keep tell yourself that don’t ever EVER touch games again… Otherwise you have to suffer all your hardwork to get rid of the addiction again since you’re injecting dopamine to your body again by playing games and it may not work again without a strong will… Sometime, it’s not our fault since we don’t really understand how our body work… even gambling, drug addict have the similarity… and we keep repeat the same mistake again and again… We are just human and uncontrollable…. To conclude, life is too short for us… so stay out from games and live a healthy lifestyle…
Dear Cam, I love what I’m reading here. I used to be a computer game addict until age twelve when I just got plain sick of playing and quit.
I just don’t know how to get my brother to stop playing massively multiplayer online role-playing games. He’s so addicted to them, he’s failed three out of four subjects in school. And he’s only ten years old. He doesn’t have the determination to quit himself.
So here it is,
I was born in the Philippians 15 years ago. I came to Canada when was like 2. I went to a lot of public schools. When i was in gr5 – 6 i had a lot of friends and played tons of football =P. Things started to suck next year in gr 7 when i had to move to a different school, which is catholic . At this school my brother was here who, in fact tormented me and bullying me. I got a bad reputation at school. It’s really hard to go to church when everyone would insult me =(. Then came high school. It was really hard to make friends especially with the Filipinos because everyone knew me from elementary. I failed school. I was in the lower level called ( applied). I was ashamed because i was with the dumb kids at school. Now I’m in gr 11 and i.m failing this semester ={. The only people who are nice to are my “online friends”. I’m good at speaking with people but its been really hard with my super bad reputation :S.
I started playing video games when i LOST EVERYTHING. I gave them up fro about a month and a week working on other hobbies and catching up in school. It’s nearly impossible to make friends at school and in the local community.
WHAT SHOULD I DO HELP
I’ve quit video games. Now i need help after VG (video games)
One important question from all of us.
What do you do after when u quit and have no friends?
I need answers from everyone especially from Cam! XD
@Adrian?
I think you should focus on other hobbies you have. Things like playing the piano, guitar, and even joining outdoor clubs are a good way to start making friends. I’ll start learning how to play the piano again and make friends with the people there. Try maximizing an outlet of your life that you had an interest in before video games became the main source of enjoyment in your life. To tell you, I’ve been hanging out with my friends at Barnes and Noble and going to local shops to browse interesting things. This is a start for me and now I’m going to join some clubs that will let me meet different individuals who will become my friends down the road.
I wish you the best of luck!
I have been playing video games since I was around 4 which started out with the old grey gameboy. Since then I have been playing games, writing guides, teaching people h2p, and even currently selling games for Gamestop.
I have come to the conclusion games to me seem boring and no longer provide the thirst I once required. Sure, I have played the new D3 I have 4 lvl 60’s on D3 with almost all the best gear you can find and over 200million gold in under the first week of release.
Played WoW since before raids even existed. I remember Mara “dungeon in desolace” was the top dungeon to even play until raids were created.
I have recently been diagnosed with depression and insomnia because not much gives a challenge anymore.
I’m in a dilemma were I want to quit games completely but with working for Gamestop it’s hard. My boss and co-workers just laugh at me maniacally and tell me it wont last.
I have quit games a number of times and similar to how you talked about the SC encounter it has happened to me a number of times.
@THEINTERWEBS
It’s more complicated then that. IT IS NOW IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE FRIENDS where i live. Everyone has a bad impression of me. Everyone hates me, at school, at church.
=(. Tomorrow I’m ask if i can switch schools about 100 miles from here :S.
I don’t need video games in life anymore. I have other hobbies but NO FRIENDS!
Please i need constructive criticism
Ok. You guys need to wake up. There is nothing wrong with playing video games–even if you play them a lot. If you have problems in your life with social skills, 99% of the time the problems stem from something OTHER than your video game playing (poor family dynamics is usually the big root cause). The video game playing is a symptom then of another problem–you are compensating. So why would you give up the only thing that brings you joy in order to force yourself to do what is more “socially acceptable”? I think this website is a crock and is only trying to make money off desperate people. I love to play video games, and I’m married (with a hot wife) with a great job. I probably play more than most people too. And I can hold a proper conversation with someone if I want to (I’d just rather be playing video games lol).
Thanks man i was gonna get diablo 3 and waste my summer again but this woke me up you really got a good point
I can relate with you. I played games my whole childhood. All my friends play games together and its hard to break out. I just now decided with a all of my heart to stop. I´m 22 years old. And had not real progression on my life which makes me sad now and then. And its time I get a jumpstart to my life! thank you for this… it helped alot.
Hi Cam. I played games 25 years and when offline..indeed I lost interest soon enough, but the latest gulf of online games fucked me up completely. I now work from home, am not tired from 9 to 5 job…hell no..I just work.., read books, do sports..and manage to have satisfying days at the beach like with my kids…I fully agree with full stop. Even when you play 1 hours a day and maintain that ( what I tried succesfully, The dopamine gets hammered in and the emotional exhaustion takes place…But quiting is fucking hard..EVen when I am motivated I need to fight each day to bump my ass out of bed, and do stuff… Those games really kill …its hard to get to enjoy things I used to enjoy before.
After commenting and seeing all the new comments–I still agree with the article. You can play for 4 hours or 20 minutes a day. You still get sucked in going right back to your old ways. No matter how normal one thinks he/she is. I still think it’s a problem for a majority of players. I’ve even got caught up in it. There were days when I was bored out of my mind and I said okay just one computer game, which later turned into 3-4 games and me playing a couple hours a day. I love Kurt’ comments. That makes a lot of sense and probably explains a lot for many of us struggling with maintaining a life with video games.
Hi there Cam. I’m 15 years of age and I attend a high school. I’ve been playing games since year 5. I started with Runescape and now I’m onto World of Warcraft, which I’ve been playing for 4 years. A few of my friends play WoW and it’s really fun. We quest and trade together and we have an awesome time.
I read your article and the only problem I face is that I don’t know if I’m 110% committed to quit gaming. I just don’t see myself without it. I want to quit WoW because it’s an RPG but I want to keep playing Team Fortress 2 and Counter-Strike.
I want to focus on becoming a professional gaming programmer. My ultimate dream would be to work any of these: Valve, Microsoft or Mojang. But I just can’t seem to break away from gaming to focus on learning programming. I really want to learn to program, but gaming is getting in my way and I can’t help myself.
What do you think I should do?
Thanks
Tom.
You mind gets mixed up , actualy, the games seem to brainwash the part of the brain where choices are made. You already say…I cannot imagine to do anything else. This is how far brainwashing goes…I have had the same, so no blame and shame.
If you cannot control the number of hours to less 1 per day, or when you think all day of gaming…when not playing then you have only one choice. Quit gaming before it quits you.
Hey guys,
Sorry for the late response to your comments. I took the last week off for a vacation and had no internet access. I do appreciate every single one of you who commented, and everybody who helped answer other peoples questions while I was gone. If you have any specific questions, you can always E-mail me if you have any questions: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
@ Andy: Hey Andy! I think studying psychology is a great idea. Many of the students I’ve worked with are studying psychology and they enjoy it a lot. Don’t limit yourself by thinking that you have a great opportunity at the end of the year. You have a great opportunity NOW. You don’t have to wait until you get to university to start working on developing a more congruent group of friends who have other interests with you than simply video games. Since you play guitar, you could find some other friends that play guitar and start playing with them. Maybe you’ve done this in the past and it hasn’t worked out, but remember, you were at a certain point in your life back then, and now you’re at a new one, so you can have different results! If you can make your guitar playing social, challenging, measurable and get absorbed into it, you won’t even notice you aren’t playing games anymore, because guitar will be your new love.
@ Lobster: Congrats on 3 months!!! I’m super proud of you.
@ Battlefieldgamer: I don’t think you can ever watch too many TED talks. I plan on being a speaker for TED next year. This is very exciting. I’m happy to hear that you have managed to come to that point where “enough’s enough”. What is your plan now? What are the goals you’re working on? The year is about 6 months done, so in the next 6 months what do you want to have accomplished? I’d love to hear more.
@ Kurt: Thanks for the kind words and your very valuable insight into how dopamine affects the process of quitting video games. I’m definitely going to keep this in mind in the future if I ever need to quit another addiction. Your comment was very insightful, thank you.
@ Anonymous: Sad to hear about your brother. At this point I don’t think a ten year old has likely matured enough to be able to make these decisions on his own. I think the solution needs to come from your parents? Could they put him in other activities so he doesn’t have the games? Could you ask your parents to take games out of the house? I don’t know if a 10 year old should have the responsibility to make certain life decisions. I think this is a time to get creative!
@ Adrian?: Sorry to hear about your situation. I empathize with you because I too was bullied when I was younger and it caused me to have a harder time making friends. What I can suggest is this: make the best of your situation and control the things you can control. You can’t control what other people think about you, so don’t start there. What you need to do is start focusing on yourself and your grades. If you started to get better grades by studying more, you would start to feel more pride about yourself right? This is a positive step in the right direction. The other thing you can do is make friends with the people you are currently in class with. You called them “dumb kids”, and that type of thinking isn’t going to help. Think about it like this: you are in that class feeling like you don’t deserve to be there (victim mindset) because you were bullied and it caused you to fail school. So do you think you’re the only kid in your class that doesn’t feel like he deserves to be in applied class? I’m sure the other kids in your class have reasons and excuses too, but at the end of the day, they are there and you are too. The only person that can dig themselves out of the hole is themselves. Is it fair? No. But what I CAN tell you definitely is that if YOU DECIDE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF, you can do anything. I was also in applied classes, not because I was unintelligent (and I assume your situation is the same), but because I was bullied and stopped caring, and instead of taking responsibility for my own grades and fixing my poor study habits, I blamed everyone else. But nothing changed and my grades only got worse. It was only once I stopped blaming everything else on everybody else and instead took the responsibility for myself, that I started to improve, and guess what? As I started to feel more of a sense of pride within myself, I started to make more friends. It’s all connected! Just think about it like this: if you’re in applied classes and you aren’t one of the “dumb kids”, then the class should be that much easier!
Now other than that, you definitely want to start focusing on other hobbies you have like theinterwebs said.
@ TheInterwebs: Thanks for helping to answer questions yet again. Your advice was spot on. I definitely like the idea of going to book stores and browsing around. I think this is a great way to find other hobbies and interests you may not have known you had! What are your other hobbies?
@ DirtyAuction: I definitely think your best bet for being able to successfully quit video games is to also get out of your job and into a different one. Don’t quit yet though, find a new job first. What other jobs interest you? One of the jobs I had when I was younger that I actually learned a lot from and enjoyed more than I thought I would was being a cook at a restaurant. This can be a great way to develop a new skill (cooking), it’s a challenging job because it’s fast paced, it’s social (you work with lots of people), and the types of people that work in the restaurant industry are more social types, so it’s easy to make friends too! I’d highly recommend that.
@ Paul: I don’t disagree that video games aren’t a problem but a symptom, however I think you miss a point that most of the guys commenting here aren’t actually enjoying the games as much as you would think. A lot of them want something else, they want to quit, because the games aren’t giving them the same enjoyment they once did. The reason for this is because they were playing the games as a mask of the real problems in the first place, instead of for the love of the game (as you are).
As per the website being a crock and only wanting to make money off desperate people… it’s just simply an uneducated opinion. The website is simply a medium to help educate and push the Social Dynamics Movement forward. Yes there is a business, and it’s there for the people that want to learn Social Dynamics from us. Our clientele is very diverse. We work with people starting from the ground up, we work with people that are already extremely successful. We work with successful law firms, engineering firms, construction companies, accounting firms, restaurants, business owners, managers, etc. These are not desperate people, these are people and businesses that see the value in having an in-depth and deep understanding of the social side of your life. Being social is NOT a choice you have, you have to be social at all times of your life. Social is where there is interaction. You interact with yourself all talk, you interact with your family, your friends, your co-workers. Being social is not a choice. How well you do it is a choice, and the people that work with us are making the choice to take advantage of that in-depth understanding we can provide, in a personalized fashion that is hard to do in an article on a website.
@ TR: Happy to help, thank you for taking the time to comment.
@ David: I started this journey when I was 20. I’m not 24. You are starting at a perfect time, work hard on yourself and you’ll enjoy the results you get. E-mail me if you have any questions: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
@ Gerrit: I’m glad you mentioned how dopamine was affecting you, because I was going to mention that. THanks again to Kurt for providing that information. As a fellow entrepreneur working at home I understand how it can be difficult when you have a lot of freedom and flexibility on your hands. When I was first stating out working at home I wasted a lot of time playing games and procrastinating. What I learned I needed was to have another hobby to keep my attention when I was done work for the day. I’d highly recommend this to you as well. Thank you also for helping to comment and answer questions.
@ Mark: Exactly Mark, Kurt’s comment really hit him. 🙂
@ Tom Gallagher: It’s tough for sure. My recommendation would be to try using: http://www.codecademy.com/. This is a free online resource to start learning how to code, that teaches you how to code by building a game. Pretty cool and it starts out at the basic levels and progresses forward as you learn. Try that out and let me know how it goes. ANother way you could help yourself do it is by scheduling time to learn how to code. Now you just have to keep yourself disciplined and accountable to it, which you CAN DO if you decide to. 🙂
So it seems that I keep coming back for advice more than I should be. 🙁
I’ve come a long way and no longer feel the need to play PC/Console games. I do play 5 minute fixes on my iPad with my 4 year old brother, but nothing by myself and I don’t have that “urge” to play. The problem that I have been having is that I keep go to forums and gaming sites. I stay up to date with games, talk and post on forums about them, even though I don’t play or have any consoles anymore. I try to avoid it and do other things, but for whatever reason I keep coming back to gaming sites and forums and participating like I did when I played games all the time.
I don’t know why I am doing this. I know it is a problem and I can’t seem to figure it out. Anyone know what I am going through or going through the same problems? Any help is much appreciated!
Hey Mark! Don’t worry about this too too much, it’s very common. The main reason it happens is because it’s a habit you’ve created. When you browse the net it’s a habit to browse those forums and talk about games. Gaming is an interest you have, so it makes sense to be reading up on it and all that jazz. It happened to me too, but what I found was as I continued to *not* play any games, my interest in gaming and the forums that gaming is discussed on went away slowly as well, to the point now where I no longer check any forums at all and could honestly care less about anything related to Gaming.
Try to focus on other interests you have as much as possible, but remember, the most important thing is that you don’t PLAY any of the games. Let the forums and stuff fall by the wayside over time. Don’t worry about it too too much.
Hey Mark, I feel somewhat qualified to lend a suggestion.
I was going through the same problem that you are experiencing.
(1) I admitted to myself that I had/have an unhealthy addiction to video games. So, I uninstalled, sold, throwout, whatever needs to be done. Deleted all username/passwords etc.
(2) Look at the computer as a tool, not an escape mechanism. Now I only use the computer for email, news feeds, stock research, whatever you deem productive. This applies to facebook as well. Careful, it’s a real time wasting addiction for some people. Yes, my computer components are far more than what I now use it for, but who cares, I’m happier.
(3) Here’s the kicker: fill that void (or consider it an opportunity), to do something fun or productive. Heck, I’m now back to mountain biking and I haven’t done that in so many years. Feels so good to be riding through woods and enjoying good ol’ mother nature once again. My back is already feeling better, as I was definitely hunching over while playing games, for far too long. My appetite is coming back as well.
The desire to revert back to games is less and less everyday. There have been many days in which I’ve been so busy doing other things, I didn’t even think about video games. Now, you may revert back to playing. I did for ~ 3 days, then realized the enjoyment just wasn’t there anymore.
On the whole, I’m happier not playing these games.
It’s still a work in progress and I’m taking it very seriously. I’m trying to try out new things to see what peaks my interest.
Old habits die hard; your habitual routine of looking at gaming forums/sites is a part of your life. If you recognize this as a problem, seriously stand up, close the browser and walk away from the computer. Basically you need to form new healthy habits.
It’s a long road and I’m still on it.
Great advice Andrew. Thanks for helping to answer Mark’s question! Here’s a good TED talk on habit building: http://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days.html
Great article. I never actually thought about how useless video games were. I read this article at the perfect time, because in the past week or two, I’ve slowly but surely quit playing Starcraft 2. Not even because I wanted to, but because I really didn’t have time. I work a 3pm-12am job, and I’ve been working out rigorously for the past 2-3 weeks after I clock out, so I don’t get home until 1-2 AM, which leaves very little or no time for Starcraft, and plus, I’ve really grown bored of it.
With Starcraft, I’ve been losing nonstop in 1v1s, and I strongly feel that the reason why is because the other players in my league play a lot more than I do, and study the game like it’s a college course. The only way I would be able to beat them and be move up a league would be if I did the same. But it’s a fucking game, why in fuck would I waste hours of my day learning a game?
So basically I’ve just switched to watching TV, because I really couldn’t think of anything else to do. Also my energy is so low from working and then working out at the gym that its all I want to do. However, every once in a while my roommates have their friends over and I socialize with them.
Basically, I’m really fat. I have been for a while now, and I just decided to lose the weight a few weeks ago. I was at 265 then, and I’m 248 now. (I was originally 310 in August.) I was really pussy footing around when it came to losing the weight.
I was really heavy before in high school, and playing video games, WoW specifically. One day, like you, I quit cold turkey and lost 60 pounds. I went from 250 to 190, and I was running track. I was in the best shape of my life, and my life had never been better. But these last two years, I let myself go, I can’t say why.
Needless to say, I strongly feel that when I’m “skinny” again, my life will be better. My main focus for when I lose the weight is to pick up girls, write a novel, and tackle a new career path. In the meantime, I think I might just start writing that novel right now… You’ve inspired me.
@ YOUNG GIAC
Good luck with the weight loss. Make sure you educate yourself. Weight loss is mostly about diet. Too many overweight people just start jogging. Look into a raw food diet, invest in a vita mix or blendtec. I have friends who have been trying to lose weight for as long as I can remember, and whenever I try to help them they snap back “I know what I’m doing”. Well if they did they’d have lost weight by now…
And if you can’t lose the weight, it’s no big deal. Write a kick-ass novel and be the next George R. R. Martin.
I know what I’m doing :P. Like I said, I lost 17 pounds in two weeks. My normal diet is cereal for breakfast, a pb&j for lunch, and 2 packs of ramen for dinner. I’m going to switch out the ramen with 1-2 chicken breasts (when I can afford it.) Thanks for the good luck man. Take care.
Thanks cam ill try that =) I’ll tell u of my sucess XD
@ YOUNG GIAC
You’re diet is all heavy carbs, protein and fat. Losing that much weight in 2 weeks probably means you dropped a lot of retained water from a previously high sodium diet. I know it’s annoying to have someone poking in your business but I’ve always had a soft spot for people trying to lose weight, being a PT in the past. Anyway, do your thing, but if it doesn’t work be open to switch up the game. Peace.
Yeah, I’m aware of this. Part of the reason I’m on this diet is because I’m broke. Ideally I would eat more fruit, protein and very little carbs.
@ Young Giac – Thank you for taking the time to respond and offer your feedback. Congratulations on quitting Starcraft 2! Good luck on your journey to lose more weight. From the sounds of it you’re the type of guy that can do anything you set your mind to. My only word of advice would be to try and dive deep into why you quit working out and staying in shape last time. This is important to learn more about so it does not happen again. I also agree that paying a lot of attention to diet and healthy weight loss is important. If money is the problem, feel free to e-mail me and I’ll do what I can do help you out to make some more.
@ WoodenKettle – Thanks for taking the time to offer your advice to Young Giac.
@ Adrian? – Looking forward to it.
[…] post was originally inspired by a post that @CameronDARE did on King Pin social last summer.Looking back, when I originally saw that post I laughed and thought it was completely […]
I appreciate the advice, Cam. I do plan to eventually analyze everything that happened at that time of my life, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Or at least if it does happen, I can control it. It’s really complicated, and I can’t exactly divulge what happened. But for the time being I don’t think I’ll be having that problem for a long time. I’ve been watching my diet really closely, and I’m taking every precaution to make sure I don’t overeat. I’ll email you right away, because money is definitely an issue right now. Any help or advice you could give me would be greatly appreciate in that regard.
Yay! 4 months without video games ! 😀
Sounds great Young Giac!
Lobster, I’m incredibly proud of you! Keep going, you’ll love it.
Great article. I’m thankful I never got into crap like World of Warcraft or Starcraft or the like. On the other hand, I’ve been hooked since I was six, and I had actually gone through college to get a job in video game design thinking that I could do that (I have my degree hanging on my wall right now). Maybe if I lived in California or the Pacific Northwest I could, but not where I am.
I’m trying to quit myself, and your article provided quite a few good tips for how to quit. Your suggestions for deciding what activities to fill the void video games used to fill are excellent. I will take your advice.
But my situation is a little trickier.
You see, I want to do web design/development for living, which requires me to be on a computer for at least 8 hours per day. And every passing second, temptation taunts me, calls out to me to “just relax and play for a bit”. Next thing I know, half my day is gone. After a long series of events I don’t care to detail, the elephant in the room has become impossible to ignore, and I’m taking steps to deal with my addiction.
Wish me luck.
Ummm
Is it okay to pretend to be happy even when your sad?
When I’m outside i always pretend to be happy instead of sad.
If I’m sad i might turn to video games =(
Is it healthy to pretend your happy when your sad?
@adrian
yes. in the psychiatric world this is known as ‘fake it ’til you make it’ and it can be a huge help. sounds dumb but it works.
pretending to be happy, as odd as it sounds, makes you happy. you do not need to walk away from games if they make you happy, it is when they become work/an escape that you have problems (don’t play WoW seems to be the gist of the article since missing out on something as amazing as Portal or Batman: Arkham anything would have felt like a loss).
set small, achievable goals toward self improvement and use games as a reward.
Do you guys think that Reddit or 9GAG can be as addictive as video games, or even more?
Hey guys,
A great way that I found to overcome my addiction was in two ways:
i) Started learning a language (Russian)
Meeting people through this
ii) Still play a game, Arma 2, but only one installed so when i get bored after an hour dont play it for the rest of the day
@WILL
I’m learning ASL (American Sign Language)
It’s hard but worth it, try learning it with a friend
gl and hf =P
@ Jeff – Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Good luck! Something to understand is that I too spend a great deal of my work in front of a computer, but my call to play video games is pretty low. I think it’s because the last time I played a computer game was so long ago that it’s just not something I really associate to the computer anymore… instead, when I’m working on the computer I’m thinking about the work I’m doing or other uses I have for the computer. Not video games. Good luck!
@ Adrian? – I think instead of “faking it till you make it” you should “act as if”. This is a subtle difference but in my experience I’ve found it to be significant. What do happy people do? How do they behave? What are the actions they take to be happy? These are all things you should consider. The advice Charlie had was great, definitely consider it!
@ Charlie – Thank you for taking the time to help respond to questions. It helps me out a lot!
@ Will – Learning new skills is definitely a good activity to fill your time with. Great advice Will!
Been reading everyones messages, and @Cam, I’ll give a proper update when I get back home. Im on vacation at the moment 🙂
I’ve been off the games for over 6 months, and it feels amazing. I’ve accomplished so much, and I owe it to you Cam! Thank you so much 🙂
I just red @will’s comment, and I thought it would be great to reiterate.
I’ve recently become near obesessed with Ireland, Irish culture, and the language. Learning a new language helped so much. Make sure its a country you feel passionate about (like, my home country played Ireland last night. I cheered for the Irish).
If you can do that, it’ll take your minds off games 🙂
@Adrian
That sounds very interesting! Thanks, you too man!
@Cam
Cheers Cam! I have found that as well as learning Russian I actually really enjoy teaching English. You get a lot of satisfaction because, you feel that you are actually making a difference. Especially when they are like ‘Thank you so much William!’.
@Shaq
Yep, sorry it was so poorly worded :/ Was actually speaking to a Russian person on Facebook at time, so wasn’t really concentrating! After reading ‘ I’ve accomplished so much ‘, I decided just now to delete Arma because, even playing for an hour, is a waste of time. In that time I could have learn five more Russian words for example. Woot! Go Ireland 😛
‘Thanks, you too man!’ ……….. ignore the splice comma! 🙂
What about my comment about Reddit or 9GAG? Reddit seems kind of funny, but first I want to know is it addictive or something. Please, someone who has is either signed up on Reddit, or knows some stuff about it, reply.
[…] How to quit video games […]
Hey there Cam, this article, its one hella good at motivation. But im a student in a really good studying school, and ive already become somewhat close to a loner in the school because i dont study. I dont play games all the time, but i play it a LOT and im in this complex situation where im busy trying to get friends and im also busy trying to get rid of my passion to play games. I wish i could get rid of the invention ‘computer’ because its so wonderful but i spend so much time on it i look like a complete faggot. How should i solve this? the most popular guy in my class plays games to the hardcore, and most of them folllows him. Fucking wierd, they are good at studying and good at playing at the same time. Please HELP
Oh yeah, and do you have a facebook account? i wish i could be friends with you 😛
@Thomas
Yes, he does. I am friends with him! 😛 You jelly ahahaha?
Someone plz tell me, is Reddit addictive?
@ will
Oh comeon my name is thomas kang my email is thomaskang@Hotmail.co.kr 🙁 please send me an email or something i really find interest in this dude no homo
Cam, first I’d like to say that this was a great, well thought out and motivational article. I’ve been dealing with a videogame addiction ever since I was 5 and never really thought about how it was affecting my life until late last year. Ironically your article relates to what I’ve done these last few months (read this article for the first time today) and I’d like to share you and the other readers my interesting journey and add in some insight. So, here we go…
Before my mom and dad had given birth to me and my two siblings they lived in South Africa. My dad was on his way to become a surgeon and my mom was a nurse. They met at a hospital they worked at together and later got married etc. My dad’s father was never around and today, none of my uncles (his brothers) have children. My mom’s family was very strict and uptight. A “proper” english family… My mom and dad left everything in pursuit for a new, and better life in the Americas.
I, along with my younger brother and sister, were born in Canada. My first game systems were a PS1, Sega GameGear, and N64. I even had my own computer… at 4 years old. You could come to say that I had been very spoiled as a child, but that didn’t come without a price. I never saw my dad or got to spend much time with him. He was always working, working, working. My mom was the only person that was ever around. My mom never invited friends over to hang out with her…I went over to friends’ houses in my neighborhood to play or had them come over to swim, play videogames, etc and my mom had my brother and sister to take care of. It made understanding friendships and the value bonding almost obsolete.
They stressed about education being the number 1 priority ever since I was born. I grew up going to private schools. I’ve been in private schools my whole life which also made understanding the real world a lot harder because of being close-knit, and sheltered. I resent my parents for ever sending me to them. I hit it off with all the girls and remember having a lot of friends in Canada and I played sports too…but when I moved to the States in 1998, that’s where whatever life I once had went downhill.
Of course, once we had moved to the states I was put into a private school. Almost instantaneously I was outcast from the main group of kids in my class (class size was about 30 students). I grew up at school feeling alone and left out of a lot of things because I was a little different. I got bullied and teased etc. The only friends I had growing up here were the friends in my neighborhood. As the years went by, I continued to play my videogames, doing what I was always brought up doing, while having as bad as a social life as ever. When I hit 6th grade and I had my first computer with an internet connection, the way I played videogames and interacted with people was revolutionized.
My social life had transferred from the real world to the computer now. I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong, I was never told or taught otherwise. My mom has always been too nice and undisciplined enough to make me and my siblings do chores. So we’d sit around and play videogames, watch tv, do whatever all the time. I met kids at public schools through AIM and that’s how my social life kept itself afloat somewhat. From the time I had gotten internet up until about 8-9th grade I had 3 relationships which ended somewhat fast, mainly because I didn’t exactly know how to spend time with them/friends/etc. So I had some friends at public schools but never had the courage to invite them over and if I did invite them over what would we do? My parents dont ever invite people over, so you see where I’m going with this…
Anyway when I first got that computer with internet I began to play a shooter called America’s Army. When I found out I could play with people online, oh my god did I get hooked. It was a free shooter made by the army and it worked perfectly on my eMac. From there I spent monstrous amounts of time playing that game. Eventually, in 2008, I hit what I had always wanted, pro status in CAL. I had set out to become one of the best in America’s Army and I did. I felt accomplished, but at the same time as I had been playing America’s Army, I had been hanging out with my next door neighbor (moved in around 5th grade) who also played videogames and loved yugioh etc. We became best friends. He had an xbox which I had not played on much before, except playing Halo 1 at a friends house once and falling completely in love with it. He had Halo 2 which I would spend a lot of time playing at his house whenever I wasnt on America’s Army, and when he got a 360, with xbox live, and halo 3 in 2007…we played together…and I knew that I had to get a 360 as well with Halo 3. So Christmas 07 I got that 360 with Halo 3 and started to play almost non-stop along side playing America’s Army.
My competitive America’s Army career ended when I attended my first Major League Gaming tournament. Being at a place full of other gamers life myself was awesome. I finally felt like I was somewhere I belong. Playing alongside the people I spend so much time socializing with online was such a good feeling. Like a breath of fresh air after so many years. I figured that this was my thing to do. So, from there on out I continued to play Halo 3 and whatever so called friendships I had before Halo 3 evaporated to almost nothing. I’ve never taken my education seriously just because my parents, who over the years I had grown to dislike as a result of their poor parenting and bonding (which I didn’t realize until a few months ago), had emphasized that it is the “only thing that no one can take away from you.”
Well, education isnt exactly that important when you hardly have a social life to hold you up and keep you going…Whatever friends I had at my school I was ashamed of because they were unattractive, losers, that played videogames to play videogames. I played videogames (once I was older) for the competitive and social aspects, unlike my classmates. So I had one person who I thought of as a close friend and lost because of the introduction to Halo 3. I stopped caring about my family, I stopped caring about friends, I stopped caring about myself. All I cared about was the game and becoming a pro. I went to college doing the same thing. I felt embarrassed by it as well because my roommates weren’t exactly the hardcore gaming type. Later that year I placed top 16 for Halo Reach. A professional placing under Major League Gaming. I had done what I had wanted to do for so many years. It seemed as though from that point, anything I had set my mind to, I accomplished (with that being said, I was also won multiple county/regional chess tournaments so my accomplishments weren’t restricted to videogames).
I became to realize that I was a pretty smart kid, having spent so much time alone and on the internet. Tracking back a little bit, and a little off course from the gaming life, whatever social life I did have outside of videogames was with people I started to do drugs with. I got into smoking weed and eventually went to Orlando the summer after senior year for a 4th of july party with some of my gaming buddies and rolled for the first time (ecstasy). From then on I loved drugs and spending time with the people I did them with. I always wondered why not everyone at least tries ya know. From then on I made myself only do drugs in moderation. I wanted to be smart about rolling etc. Unfortunately the days of which I took off between smoking/rolling/tripping became fewer and fewer. At one point I was actually dealing DMT, weed, and beans to make money because I’ve been unmotivated to get a job.
Which led me to the day I thought that I might have ADD and that maybe that was why I didn’t care about doing anything, couldnt concentrate, etc. That decision helped save my life from going down into an inescapable hole. It was the end of my first week of being on vyvanse and I had just had thanksgiving dinner with my family. Me and one of my newly made drug friends were going to go to a club to rage and sell beans. We went had a good time, rolled, and then went to an underground rave afterwards…now you know those commercials about drugs that you see of kids that look like complete fucking shit…yea…those are the kinds of kids that were at this rave. It was some freaky eye opening shit. I was in the middle of selling beans to someone when all of a sudden my vyvanse took control and I had some crazy realizations about my life and where it was headed. I told the guy I was selling to that I left the beans in my car and left. While walking out I grabbed my friend and told him that this all wasnt me. My parents would be proud if they saw what I was doing or what I was, that I need to get back to school with some real people.
My friend couldnt of been happier that I had told him them. He started shouting with excitement, “DUDE THAT’S THE BEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD SOMEONE SAY!! YOU KNOW HOW MANY LIVES IVE RUINED BECAUSE OF DRUGS?! I’VE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE I WAS 14 AND TO SEE YOU JUST WALK AWAY IS BLOWING MY FUCKING MIND MAN!!!” What a response. At that time it was about 7am and we had a music festival to get to in Ft Lauderdale. A 5 hour drive. I made it my last drug filled night. After that, I started to make changes. Started up on anti-depressants to help the anxiety I’ve had and tried to make all the changes in my life I had hoped to make.
I dropped videogames pretty much completely and tried to stop the drugs. Problem was, I enjoy DJing…but everyone that I wanted to work with, whether it was producing or DJing, did drugs…or was weird…which had made chasing my dream extremely fucking hard…even after I had quit playing videogames I haven’t had any trouble talking to people or girls…but I don’t know how to hang out with people and whenever I do, if we’re not having an amazing time, I think the encounter is going bad. I have a lot of acquaintances but no real friends…a lot of girls I talk to and fuck, but no real feelings for them. I felt like I had a huge challenge ahead of me…but with no one to help motivate me, it makes it really fucking hard to want it. Both my parents dont do anything and my brother and sister are just like me… Now it’s summer and I’m back to playing videogames…being playing a ton for the past month and now realize that I’m getting back into it again. I want to stop. Problem is I have absolutely no motivation to do anything else. I’m just not satisfied with anything or anyone. Shit sucks. Plus I’m going to university with no direction. I’m indecisive on what I want to do for the rest of my life. Basically I’m very frustrated because I have no sense of direction. I feel like I like a lot of different things and cant settle down on a job for just one…
@Mark
Wow interesting story bro.
Well you should fill your time with different hobbies, i know this sounds plain but try different things and don’t care what others say about.
The hard thing about life is that when you do something bad and people want to know why your not successful it is hard to tell the truth.
P.S
How old are you now?
P.P.S
@Cam
You know that life story i sent you about a month or 2 back. That was only part of the truth. Soon i will post everything and i mean everything XD
good luck Mark =)
@ Shaq – Thanks for the kind words! Enjoy your vacation and stay out of trouble… but I’m super proud of you for getting to 6 months! Apparently I need to start learning a language? 🙂
@ Will – I really should start learning French again. I used to be fluent but I got away from it when I was younger. I fixed your comments that you asked me to.
@ Lobster – Sorry for the late response, I really do try my best to respond as quickly as possible. Reddit is a good resource but like anything, if you spend your whole day on it that isn’t healthy either. I know Reddit is a very big site with a lot of interesting information, so just be careful not to spend your whole day on it!
@ Thomas – Nice to meet you! I do have Facebook, you can add me: http://facebook.com/elekt. What is your schedule every day? Do you have one? Do you follow a calendar? Something along those lines can help if you schedule the time you are allowed to do certain activities. What are you having trouble with when it comes to making friends? Also, what struggles do you have with studying? Have you considered checking out our post on studying habits? If not, here it is: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/three-easy-ways-to-improve-studying-and-get-the-grades-you-want/ Hit me up on Facebook and I’ll try to help you out more personally.
@ Max – Amazing post. I’m very proud of you for making the decisions you have and sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to do so. Can you send me an e-mail? cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com, I’d like to share with you some important insight I learned about myself when I found I had no motivation and didn’t care about anything else.
@ Adrian? – Thanks for continuing to check in and leave your feedback. You guys don’t understand how much I appreciate your contributions! Looking forward to the rest of your story.
Well did you at least make Masters league in Starcraft?
Hi Ralph, thanks for commenting. I quit playing before Starcraft 2 came out.
@cam
well i dont do that but i take the IB course so im always on my computer doing essays and PPT presentations for school projects. Once im on my computer, the temptation to play games come from there, so i found this program on the internet which doesnt let you go to certain websites for a certain amount of time :p its called ‘self restraint’ and it doesnt go off even if you restart your computer. Other things than games like youtube and facebook also disturb me badly so i used this.
Oh yeah, and its been around a week since i have read this article and i haven’t played games since. I tried to add you on facebook but i remembered that i deactivated my account after reading this LMAO XD anyway, im always reading it when i get the temptation. You have talent on motivating people, so i recommend, if you are interested that is, on writing a book on things like this. I will find it totally interesting
Thanks for the article Cam. I find it cool how we’re about the same age and in the same City, with very similar circumstances.
I started gaming at a young age when i was 11, played the hell out of World of Warcraft until i was 16 then decided that i had to go cold turkey to improve my social life and family life since i was shut up in my room 12 hours a day and only came down for dinner. I quit with much success since my father also went cold turkey with me and he stopped paying for are accounts and i found it easy to handle since i did not have the choice to play. But summer has arrived and im out of school and have picked up Modern warfare 3 and play that alot. I can feel myself slipping back into my old life but i cant figure a way to get out of it. I love to skate but its 108 degrees outside everyday so an hour is the most i can spend outside. I cant find any other outlets for my energy and im going crazy. I cant slip back into the hole and i want your help. Should i just snap call of duty in half so i cant play it? or give it to a friend? i have looked online for a outlet and want to learn to play guitar but dont have money to buy one. Hope you can give me a suggestion to help me.
@KALIN BELL
OMG dude im going through the same thing. I used to play call of duty black ops all day ( at least before). My user name is: APP_Adrian
It sais i have played 40 days. Which means i have played 40 days in a row. 24 hours per day bro. This is how gave up cod
1. Snap all video games
2. Use your ps3 for internet (Music, Entertainment, Educational videos)
3. Don’t waste your time
4. If you feel like gaming read a book at the library
5. If you feel like gaming leave the house
6. ???
7. Profit
gl
@ Thomas – Thanks for the positive feedback. I think using the program self-restraint is an awesome idea! Remember, every day it gets easier. Nobody said it would be easy but everybody said it would be worth it. I will consider writing a book, now I just need to work on my writing. Haha!
@ Jacob – If you’re in Calgary I’d love to meet you. Send me an e-mail: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
@ Kalin Bell – Thank you for commenting. This is the first step towards taking your life more seriously. I definitely think getting rid of call of duty is a good idea, but remember, you need to replace the habit with another, healthier one. Maybe you could ask your parents to help you with getting a guitar? Maybe you could pick up a part-time job and start saving money to get a guitar? Those are 2 options I can think about. Other than guitar, what other activities do you have an interest in?
Hi there,
thx a lot for this really good article. Stopped Playing World of Warcraft 2 years ago and had a really good time at university and social life. Really enjoyed other things like meeting friends or playing board games together (have some drinks also, makes it really enjoyable).
Last month Diablo 3 stepped in my life and I played the shit out of it, until I realized it is just the same item grind and waste of time like WoW was. I am really into this online RPG thing and I felt how it took control over me (again). Searched a lot on the Internet until I’ve found your article and hey, it reminds me so much of myself (also played Starcraft but also Warcraft 3 really competitive).
But back to Diablo – I sold my Items, deleted my toons and quit this dumb game (which isn’t really good either^^). Now I can focus back on my bachelor’s degree 🙂
If you feel the need for playing – try board games. They are enjoyable and if you have some friends, who share this interest, you can have a really really good time. Combine it with some BBQ or dinner / cocktail evening :p
Also it has a huge impact on your social interaction skills, because you actually see the people you play with, instead of just using a chat-system on the internet.
By the way – sorry english is not my first language 😉
Back to Reddit. Reddit also has karma points and upvotes, can’t it be considered lika a primitive video game? I mean you post something and get karma points and upvotes as rewards. You can also say that it’s something else to fill the voids. But if you think, isn’t it like treating drug addiction with alcohol?
I see a lot of people have quit gaming but somehow started playing games again. I wrote my story earlier so I’m not going to write all that again but here’s the thing…
…The reason we get back into gaming is because we are fucking bored with real life, online gaming is an amazing escape from reality, sad to say but I “grew up” with some of these gamers I met on the internet..3 years ago I started playing COD4 online and I made some friends, we made a team and had tons of fun over teamspeak, I quit from time to time, they did too, and went their own way, but right now, at this point, I’m talking to them on xfire and teamspeak, I came back why? Because I don’t have any friends I could hang out with, I’m not good at socializing, gaming is something I love to do, I just don’t understand why I want myself to think what I’m doing is wrong.
Anyone else feel this way?
My advise to those who want to permanently quit gaming and have a life – Sell your computer/xbox/ps3/Wii, that way you can’t go back.
ANOTHERGAMER^
I don’t believe there is anything wrong with gaming so long as it’s not inhibiting you from doing what you want to do in life.
I have been gaming all my life and I recently decided to quit because I’m in the middle of post-secondary, while working within a big company. I’d like to develop some of my own personal skills to give me an advantage when I’m done my degree.
Gaming gave me years of happiness and belonging, it even helped me meet people during my everyday life that had a similar interest. There is nothing wrong with doing something you love, as long as it’s not getting in the way of your objectives in life. Only YOU can decide if this is the case or not, not some article on the internet.
Good luck,
[…] then. I got pretty good at resisting the temptations, and my self-control was strongest after I read How To Quit Gaming FOREVER – Kingpin Lifestyle. This shit was golden. I have no idea how I came across it, but it really cuts the crap and gives […]
Hey Cam! I’ve been playing video games for about 6 Years now and I always say to myself I will just play a little bit today then I always stay on for 8 hours… Do you have any advice like how to fill your day when your off from school and you can’t hang out with any of your friends?
Thanks, Zack
@ Marcus – Thank you for commenting! I love hearing from each of you. Board games is a great suggestion. It’s similar to a video game but it still focuses on the social side. Most people don’t play board games alone right? I’m happy to hear you are focused again on your bachelor’s degree. Your english is very good for someone who doesn’t have it as his first language. 🙂
@ Lobster – I definitely think Reddit is something to keep in check and not get too carried away with. This isn’t about going from one addiction to another. It’s about replacing one bad habit with a productive one!
@ Anothergamer – I want to make it clear that I do agree with you to an extent. Like Jacob said, as long as it isn’t inhibiting you from doing what you truly want to do in life it isn’t a big deal. The problem comes in because many people who truly enjoy playing video games take that as a sign that video games are their purpose, when as I describe in the article, the reason they feel that way is because of certain areas of their life being fulfilled within video games…. when, most of them aren’t very happy playing video games day after day and want to do other things.
Something else to keep in mind is that I too had a lot of “friends” online that I held dearly to my heart (no homo). I was friends with some of them for many many years. The interesting thing was that when I quit games I didn’t feel like we had all that much in common anymore, because truthfully the only things we had in common were video games.
If you are someone who struggles with socializing and you don’t have friends you can hang out with outside of the games, I definitely think this is an area to start working on, because unfortunately, you can’t spend your whole day online away from the real world. Being social is not a choice that you have, how well you do it is. It’s a skill like everything else.
@ Jacob – Thank you for sharing your perspective with Anothergamer.
@ Zack – Thank you for commenting! What other activities have you tried? Do you have anything else like guitar, learning another language or something like that? Those are some of the suggestions people have left in the comments that have worked out for them. Sports are a great option too. A big key is to schedule your time as well. Do you use something like Google Calendar? If not, check out this post: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/
It can be tough at first but if you stick to trying new experiences and working on other skills you will be ok. 🙂
English isn’t my first language either. Do I sound good ? 😛
Absolutely! 🙂
@Cam
Thank you! 😀
Hey, great post! I’m just like you were. I’ve had a gaming addiction for a very long time. Hopefully I will get out of it soon! The challenge, constant growth and competitive nature of it all always drags you in.
Hey Sar! Thanks for coming by and commenting. You sound like you’re on the right path. Find some new activities and you’ll have no trouble with it!
Hey there. Love the article, I was google searching for something else, but this came up, so gave it a look. I think you should add a step though, or at least give it some consideration. I personelly consider myself a casual gamer, but have had plenty of hardcore gaming in my past. I previously played anything I could get my hands on, but after high school, I was too busy to dedicate too much time to it. I double majored in chemical engineering and physics, but still played a good amount of World of Warcraft in college, and ran my own guild.
The cold turkey method is great, for a time, especially to start out. Lets face it, playing games is enjoyable. For anything in life, giving up something fun completely is just as insane as playing too much. If you simply replace the one addiction with another addiction such as playing in a band with others, you really have the same problem, just a different outlet. We are wired to have fun. What you really should do is try to balance different hobbies instead of just 1, and not giving up anything completely.
For me, graduating college, moving, and starting my career forced a period of cold turkey, and it taught me a good lesson. I actually like having time to do other things. I attempted playing World of Warcraft 3 different time since then, but it just turned into a short term thing and I quit again. Having a baby also impacted my time for gaming. Now I play Starcraft 2, but casually. I play 1-2 game a week, and sometimes skip a week. When I first started playing against people on the ladder, I spent extra time reading strategies and learning the game, and now I dont. As a casual player, I perfected 1 build for the first 8 minutes of the game, then react to what the enemy is doing after that. I have other hobbies I give attention to as well: reading, lockpicking, drumming (I was state champion in high school), watching movies/shows, playing with my son (who keeps making me play skylanders with him, so I give him about 2 sessions a week where we play it together).
The long-term key was not cold turkey, but I think it is a necessary step to get a reboot. After that, the long-term fix is balance. Dedicate attention to multiple hobbies, and improve yourself in multiple areas. You become more well-rounded, and are not overly obsessive on anything. If you go more than 2 weeks of hardcore studying/playing when you pick up a new hobby, you then need to start scaling back. Anytime I start something new, there is a learning curve to get up and running, which means other hobbies temporarily stop. Plan for this learning curve, set a date, then spread back out to other hobbies. Balance is the key, “never touching it again” is not. Thanks!
Hi Christopher! Everything you said is true. I think going back to gaming is ok within balance. The only problem is that the vast majority of people that need to quit gaming (such as the ones who read this article) have a hard time understanding when the right time for balance is. Once they’ve quit cold turkey and developed other interests, it’s easy to go back to games and be balanced with it, because your life is now in balance.
However telling people this sometimes can actually hurt their progress, because they believe they’ve achieved balance much sooner than they have and thus, fall back into the same bad habits again. I remember when my cousin went to a rehab center to recover from an addiction to alcohol. When he came out he looked and sounded great, but one thing really struck me wrong: the doctors had told me he would be allowed to drink again – casually.
Hearing this I knew was the worst thing for him to hear. And to no ones surprise, within 2-3 weeks he was back drinking “casually”, and quickly that turned into drinking more heavily again like before. 2 months in rehab down the drain.
I don’t think the advice you have is wrong by any means, I just wonder if the message you are trying to communicate could be interpreted effectively by the audience reading the post, instead of someone coming to that conclusion on their own once they’ve already achieved balance. Many things to consider for sure.
Thanks for your feedback.
This is by far the best advice & most practical advice on how to quit Dota forever. Need to fill the void!
Hey EIJAS! Thanks for the comment. I’m glad you found value in it. 🙂
Great great article.
I’m trying to quit playing video games and focus more on my guitar playing. But I dont know if I can let go of the games. I find myself browsing for games and Pc parts to buy. Instead I should sell the Pc and buy guitar stuff instead. Any advice you can give me? I feel I can acomplish more playing guitar and its something ive always loved doing. But games ar getting in my ways of practising and fullfilling my dreams of starting a band.
This is an excellent piece, been struggling the past week with thoughts of “logging in” I even installed the beta invite for Dota 2 tonight thinking that it would be a better alternative, time wise, than WoW/Rift. Started playing for 10 mins logged out and found this web page.
Cold turkey or nothing, that’s the only way I work. I can’t have just one cigarette, or one game, I need the whole pack.
Sucks! but it is what it is.
Thanks
Hey Cam, I have already read and commented this article a few times before I just have to ask about few more things if you dont mind 🙂 I find myself more similar to you than anyone else who has commented on this article, like you, I was highest level in terms of skill at the game I played (COD4:Promod) I have quit gaming for long periods of time and got back into it, but when I make the commitment to quit, I really do, that, I am really proud of myself, but the problem is I get back to gaming when I am frustrated with reality..
1. Do you have any tips on how to resist the temptation to play video games? I’m doing a degree on business, believe it or not I started a foundation course in an university at the age of 16 and I started 1st year of uni at the age of 17 because of my qualifications, age is on my side in what I want to achieve that is graduating at the age of 21 or before, and finishing my masters degree before 24. I have these goals but I think you already know what I’m about to ask.. when I quit games and study hard I get top marks..but I ask myself then “Fuck this, why cant I have some fun” and I start playing games, What activities do you recommend that I do to kill off time ?
2. I’m 18 right now and I have been single all my life, I have received compliments on my looks and I’d consider myself to be a decent looking guy, but I lack confidence when I talk to girls..a lot of my friends are in relationships and I get depressed when I can’t find a girlfriend. I’m horrified to ask a girl out with the fear of rejection..ikr I’m a fucking coward. What’s the advise you can give me here? Thanks again 🙂
Not playing videogames in this day and age is as stupid as saying “I don’t watch movies” well, you would be missing out on something. Videogames are the best kind of entertainment we have today. I mean home entertainment. It’s much better than watching TV. Yes there are other things to do. Today I have noone to go out with, I have went for an hour run and did a lot of exercise so the rest of the day I’m gonna play videogames, why the hell not?
Also this idiot is suggesting to stop playing videogames, something we love to attract women? OMFG, get some self esteem, keep doing what you like and if they don’t like it fuck them. Stop telling men to not be men just to attract women, they are the ones who need to understand that men are men, we won’t fuckiing change because a few idiots think a misandrist society is the way to go. Please.
I think you’re missing the point, Sergi. This article isn’t made to dissuade people from playing them at all, in fact it’s written for an audience who is too bent on its consumption during their everyday lives. People who play for hours and hours, and ultimately whose productivity decreases as a result. For them, it’s time for a change of lifestyle, which is precisely what this site specializes in. Now it’s fine for the average man or woman to enjoy this form of entertainment without reducing one’s daily productivity or capacity for maintaining healthy relationships, but when that fine line between balance and overconsumption manages to be crossed is when this particular article assists those seeking to rebalance their life.
Now in regards to your previous comments, maybe you’re right Sergi. I can’t say, as that doesn’t apply to me in particular, but try not to resort to personal insults to further your own argument. There are lots of people here trying to seek a healthier balance in life. Maybe you should help those Cam isn’t able to at the moment?
God I hope this works. Ive been sabotaging my work ever since middle school. I am now a senior in college. Its like an itch that can’t be scratched, all I want to do is play. I’m going to make a damn good effort to quit for good because I can’t keep doing this to myself. I cannot keep hurting my future and my social life. I have high aspirations but I keep fucking myself over. It kills me, but I keep repeating my mistakes. I’m no longer going to play video games. This is the fucking end, July 9th, 2012, the day of reckoning. Bring on the junkie itch. Bring on the pain, this is fucking go time. Wish my luck ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you everyone for taking the time to leave your feedback. I appreciate it all very much!
@ Marcus – Thank you! Guitar is a great skill to develop. Do you play guitar with anybody right now? That would be a really good start. Find some friends who play guitar too and start jamming together. You don’t need to start a band right away but simply jamming with other guys is a good start. Do you hang out where other guitar players hang out? (Music stores, rock shows, etc?) Get involved in the guitar community. Find forums online about guitar and all that jazz. Set some goals and start working towards them. When do you want to form a band by? Where is your skill level right now and where do you want to progress it to?
@ Rob – Thank you! Cold turkey is the best way. Best of luck! You can do it.
@ Anothergamer – What frustrates you about reality? This would be important to identify in order to be able to move forward. If this is where you tend to get stuck, how could we fix it? Having fun is important. Just what you have identified is that having fun by playing games isn’t the productive activity you want to do. How else do you have fun? What other hobbies could you try? I know you’ve heard me say this a million times but it’s because it works. You NEED to have fun too, you can’t just study every day all day. You need that time to relax. So what do you spend your time on to relax right now? Also, something to keep in mind, is that although you are young, don’t view this as an excuse! Being young and as driven as you appear to be is a BLESSING. If you get your life together right now, when you are young, you’ll be glad you did when you’re older. Believe me! I started my own business when I was 19 and now I’m 24 with a successful business of 5 years. Compared to most other 24 year olds, they aren’t doing the things I’m doing. AND I LOVE IT. Don’t wait until you’re older to start living your dreams. Start now. Also, don’t focus on getting a girlfriend. Focus first on just meeting and having some female friends. There’s no rush to get a girlfriend. Being depressed because you don’t have a girlfriend is being attached to the outcome. Once you have the outcome you will feel better right? But what about if you break up? Will you be depressed again? This isn’t the type of cycle that is healthy. You must be INDEPENDENT of these outcomes in order to succeed.
@ Sergi – Thanks for taking the time to leave your feedback. Like “theinterwebs” mentioned, I think your expectation of the post is different than what it is. The post isn’t to tell people to stop playing games (although, I do think it’s a good thing), the post is for people LOOKING TO QUIT and don’t know how. It’s to a different audience. Maybe you aren’t looking to quit and that’s fine. Maybe spending your day working out for an hour and then playing games is exactly what you want out of life, and that’s awesome. But not everybody is like that right? This article is for those people. Best of luck to you!
@ Theinterwebs – Thank you for taking the time to help with comments. I appreciate it a lot. I think you nailed it perfectly.
@ Jon – Hi Jon! Best of luck! You can do it. Remember, the pain you will feel from *not* playing video games is significantly lower than the pain you have from how much you sabotage your life when you do play them! This is significant! You can do it, I believe in you.
You know, a few days ago it’s finally hit me to stop playing video games. I’ve already begun to sell all my consoles and games and have decided to purchase a handy camera with the money. I feel like this will thoroughly influence my future in a positive manner and I will be able to move on with everything else that I want to do. I can finally start reading and training for an Iron Man. I can start becoming cultured and feel like I’m worth something to women. Nostalgia has been hitting me and reading your article just made me that much sure of what I’m doing is the right thing to do. I’m so glad that there are others who have done what I’m doing now and have succeeded so much in life. Thank you for your strong words, and kudos on continuing to respond to all of the comments here. It’s truly a wonderful thing you’re doing by personally urging people on! Continue having a great life!
So it has been a while since i last posted. I no longer work fpr gamestop, been cold turkey for games for about four weeks. Feels hepatitis good. I now go spend more time with family and go out bowling or to the movies now. I am 25 and a total of about 4 years has been with games. If anyone needs ideas or help getting out of the gaming life just respond to my post I am always reading updates and posts. Later.
Hey Chris! Thanks for dropping by and leaving your comment. You’re on the right path, you’re now making the right decisions. Enjoy the ride!
@ Dirtyauction, happy to hear that the progress you have made has been rewarding for you! Also appreciate that you’re willing to give back and help others too, it’s a very good trait to have! 🙂
“There’s nothin’ like the rush of hunting people down and killing them” – FPS Doug
“You’re either pro or noob, that’s life” – Athene
Where’s your desire to pwn noobs. Have you completely lost your mind ? The noobs are waiting for us, what are we gonna do, DJ and talk with friends about it ?
For me, i’m passionate about smokin’ bud, pwning noobs, and getting big crits. I make online friends in the process.
Yeah, I like music, eating, sleeping, playing instruments, talking to friends, and I even enjoy working jobs. What’s the matter with being a gamer who pwns some of the time, and studies/socializes the rest of the time ?
You didn’t even mention other pro gamers besides yourself.
Where’s your #1 hunter now ? Just wasting away, wishing you would play him and start being number one again.
If you spent so much time (16+ hours a day) playing these games, what have you got to show for it ? Friends and DJing music are great, but at the end of the day, you haven’t pwnt anyone and you sure as hell haven’t done something you’re truly good at.
You talk about being busy all the time. What could possibly be more relaxing than a game of pwning some noobs — it’s exciting and more thrilling than any DJ session or whatever you’re doing in your busy time.
To me, this whole article just sounds like an excuse : “I’m weak and can’t make time for video games anymore.”
I’ve played WoW, CoD, BF2, sc2, dota, hon, lol, TF2, and plenty more since I was 13. Now, i’m 21 and I quit WoW two months ago. I’m having huge desires to play again because I want to pwn noobs and play with my online friends so bad. Reading your article made me think about all the weaklings out there just waiting to get stomped. Pwning has become a part of my lifestyle, and I can’t just give it up completely like you talk about in your article.
Good luck to you, and I think it’s just unfortunate that the online community lost such a great gamer as yourself.
Keep pwnin’ Jake. 🙂
I really appreciate the help with this addiction. It has been about a month since I touched a game controller.
Thank you for commenting Zachary! Congratulations on your first month. Enjoy your journey, life can be so much better than it was!
This was a great read. I’ve known that I was addicted to video games at a very early age, starting with the first day I ever played Centipede on my dad’s atari. I started doing poorly in school, I stopped playing flag football and baseball, I stopped playing outside. It’s been 15 years now, and I’m still heavily addicted to video games. I still manage to get out and do some things with friends, but most of them have grown and gone their separate ways.
I’m really just posting this to let the young teenagers reading this know just how serious an addiction like this can get. You will watch all of your peers slowly get ahead of you. Your close friends will get a life, a good job, and start a family. You’ll be left with nothing but your online friends and the closest friends that would stand by you through anything. It’s a pretty harsh reality. I wouldn’t say that it’s too late to break your addiction, but it only gets harder as time goes on.
Since I played video games and did nothing else throughout my entire social developmental stage, I’m left with subpar social skills. It makes job interviews more difficult. It makes getting rejected a stronger possibility. Many things that snowball to create a feeling of worthlessness. When you feel worthless, you start to no longer love yourself and you lose all motivation to progress in life. This perpetuates a continual downward spiral. It may get to the point where you don’t want to leave your virtual world, and that makes it harder to find things you truly enjoy.
When friends or family ask me what is it that I like to do, the only answers I can give them are sleeping and playing games. Imagine if the happiest moments of your life were confined to playing video games and not having to deal with anything else via sleep. You’ve got a long life ahead. Far too much time to deal with not being happy. It’s worth thinking about the future since it’s all you’ve got, and video games will not bring you to a happy future.
I know that my life can only get better, but the motivation to do so just isn’t there and time’s only making it worse. Sorry this was such a depressing post, I just felt the need to get this off my chest in the hopes that it might help someone in a similar situation.
This article is the best one on quitting gaming FOR GOOD. I started to stop for one day, then a few days, then a week, then a month.It was damn hard but believe it or not, I actually started to lose interest in gaming. I eventually sold by Xbox! I started to play real basketball in a local league, and I’m one of the top players now. If I didn’t read this article, I would still game and I would have never found out that I was actually a really good ball player. You are one of the people who changed my life, this is the most inspiring article I’ve read on the web. Thank you, thank you for everything…sob…
This article is interesting. Does nobody else see what’s going on here? You’re just replacing one meaningless escape from reality with another one, seemingly only because society thinks the new one is ‘cooler’ and more acceptable. Video game addiction too nerdy? Why not get addicted to picking up women instead?
I don’t want this to sound scathing, this is me genuinely questioning. Let’s take a look at the four things you highlighted:
A temporary escape
Constant measurable growth
A challenge
Social
I think these are all fair factors in video game addiction (by which I mean – they match my experience), except possibly the last one. I don’t think playing video games really counts as social, unless you’re playing a football or racing game or something with some friends physically there next to you playing on one screen and laughing about. But you might have meant that and I misunderstood.
I actually would change the last one to ‘alone-time’ or whatever. For me, it’s that I’m selfish with my time. If you had a genuine desire to be social, you would have spent time with your girlfriend, not gone online with people you don’t REALLY talk to, just swap spells with or whatever.
Isn’t the issue here those desires? Your article helpfully brings them out, but then instead of tearing them down, we try to replace what we do to gain them? Huh?!
A temporary escape
Constant measurable growth
A challenge
Alone-ness
Temporary escapes? Why do we need those?
Constant measurable growth? Yet another burden of our society I think… Unconditional love tears this apart. Why are we so competitive with each other?
A challenge – this one is good I guess, and this is the one reason I don’t think video games are bad in and of themselves. If they are relaxing and fun, and we learn about ourselves/the world from them, then great. Same reason a movie, or a rubix cube aren’t bad. It’s when we abuse those things I suppose…
Alone-ness – think this one hits hard. It’s precisely because we have destroyed real relationships/friendships that we don’t know what social is anymore, so we think swapping spells and talking about world of warcraft is social. Why can’t we genuinely interact with each other?
Thoughts anyone?
@ Jason – Thanks for taking the time to read this and leave your feedback. Your message is important. Thank you for sharing it! I don’t think the post was depressing at all. If anything it was uplifting because you shared with everyone that there are other options out there than a life full of video game addiction.
@ Eddie – Thank you for commenting! I appreciate the compliment. Stopping the addiction is very difficult so you have earned my respect for your perseverance! I’m happy to have been able to help guide you!
@ Tim – First I just want to say thank you for leaving your feedback. Although anything in this life could be defined as a meaningless escape, I do not believe this is what I have done. There is potential for their to be a degree of truth that I did this initially, but over time my life has moved in a direction where I am more in line with what I ACTUALLY want to do with my life. There is nothing wrong with playing video games all day long if that’s what you truly desire, however 99% of people commenting on this post are stating it is NOT what they desire. It’s something they do out of habit and because they don’t know how to change their situation. Breaking away from video games is a catalyst to opening up our eyes to finding what it is that we actually want to do with our time, instead of being a prisoner of our own addiction.
Social is anything you interact with. Even if you play video games by yourself you are interacting with the video game, however, for clarity sake, in the article I was implying multiplayer gaming.
The 4 points I list aren’t negatives. They are motivations. I was motivated to play video games because it was social, an escape (meaning, it gave me a break, it helped relax me, etc), it gave me a way to see growth and it was challenging. None of these things are bad (at least within reason and balance). It’s not that we NEED them, it’s that they are motivating factors behind the scenes. You don’t NEED to have constant measurable growth, but then again, you don’t need the clothes you’re wearing right? The goal here isn’t to label things as good or bad, it’s to bring awareness so people can make the decision they want to make for themselves.
I think a desire for genuine interactions with each other is absolutely what we should pursue. Many people who have commented have talked about how they don’t know how to socialize, and it’s a major reason why they play video games instead. The mission of Kingpin Social is to help people understand (and then be able to implement) the social side of their life. Many many things are relative to each individual person though, and of course, this post is completely irrelevant if someone doesn’t actually want to stop playing. However as many people have testified in the comments, if they ARE looking to quit, this gives them an avenue. Success is not defined here by them going from one addiction to another. It’s defined by them living a life that brings them more happiness, joy and fulfillment. Balance in life is a great way to achieve these.
Hey man I liked your article I’ve been extremely addicted to quake live (quake 3, 4 and qwet) I’m just tired of that game being all I do. I use to have friends and I was good with people but, now seems like I practice this game more than life 🙁 I’ve stopped for 4 monthes only because I was away and had no internet, and now I’m playing again…. I want it to stop
Hey Cam,
First of I want to say very nice article! I can see what you’re trying to say and I totally agree with you.
I too am/was a video game addict and I do feel I should stop it but there are a couple things blocking me from doing so. My parents are always talking about doing something else because I spend 8 hours a day playing video games but I really cannot figure what to do. I’m the type of guy who’s not really with the “popular kids”, instead I have my own group of friends so to speak and they are gamers as well. So things like going to the mall and or loitering (I guess? lol what do teenagers do I don’t even know) are not really my type of thing. I try doing sports, and I know I have not tried all of them but the ones like soccer, basketball, hockey seem to be going OK with me. The point is I need some help on FINDING what I love to do which I have not exactly discovered.
Do you have any tips on what I can do to help myself find something I love to do? Or would that be something I have to do myself?
Hey Cam, great article but I have a question. I am considering selling my ps3 and buying a laptop for building my own games. Do you think this is solving the problem or just a way that I am making myself feel like I am remedying my situation?
I understand that buidling video games could be an addiction as well, but would you consider it more productive since you do learn things like programming and 3d modeling?
Thanks.
I play way too many video games because I don’t have any passions. I know there is a better way to live, but changing is difficult when playing computer games is so easy. I have a wife and a 5-year old son and am fortunate to have them. Playing too many computer games contributes to my selfish behavior – I don’t pitch in enough around the house and let life keep sliding by. I know there is a better way. Thanks for the article Cam. It gives me hope that I will eventually find the strength to change and take responsibility for living my life instead of just muddling through it. I hope I can do it sooner rather than later.
@ Michael: I’m a 42-year old guy who still hasn’t found any passions, so I can’t offer any advice – but I can tell you that you aren’t alone in your struggle. I have read countless self help books and don’t feel any closer to finding something. My difficulty in trying new things and putting myself out there in different ways is surely an obstacle. Try not to let that be your obstacle too. Good luck!
Hey Paul! Thanks for commenting. When you stopped for 4 months, why’d you go back to playing again? What did you spend your time doing instead during those 4 months? Why do you feel like it failed?
Hey Michael! Thank you also for commenting. I love hearing from each of you. Finding your passion is definitely important. Consider writing down a bucket list – things you’ve always wanted to do but have never done. For me that included things like learning piano, making music, travelling, becoming flexible, being in great physical shape, reading books, etc. This helped give me some direction for things I’d enjoy. DJing was also on the list. Another great post to definitely check out is by Alden Tan on how to find passion: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/4-step-guide-on-how-to-find-passion/
Hey Dan! Thank you! I think it can be more productive for sure, as long as you keep everything in check. I could see how it would be easy to use that as an excuse to play a lot more games, BUT, it doesn’t have to be like that. The passion of video games isn’t the problem, it’s the amount we play them that is.
Hey Rob! Thanks for coming by and leaving your feedback for others as well. You can do better RIGHT NOW. Remember, everybody always says doing the right things is easy. But the reason they’re so hard to do is because they are equally as easy to NOT do. A great book to read on this subject is The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. Check it out, I bet it will help! I’d also recommend the bucket list idea to you. This will give you a huge list of things you’ve always wanted to try, and then you just need to have the courage to do them. Start with easy ones if you need to and work your way up!
@Cam: Thanks for the book recommendation. I just downloaded the sample to my Kindle now. Take care!
Hi Cam,
I must say what an article, thanks for the advice! It’s really knocked some sense into me. I’ve been playing the 360 past 4-5 years, playing around 90 odd games with just under 28,000 gamerscore.. it’s really quite sad! I’ve met some good friends on Xbox Live but I’ll have to say “goodbye” at some point, as this nonsense needs to stop, I’ll have to force myself.
But I’ve recently purchased a PS3 in a bid to slow my gaming down, 360 was addictive because of it’s online service. PSN is apparently not so good, so I’m sure it’ll slow me down and lure me off the console and SP don’t last long in games these days.
I had a deep think about my current games situation, and realised I should be out there doing other things like running, cycling, being more sociable. I’m 21 now and SHOULD BE LIVING LIFE TO THE MAX!
Cheers again Cam, very much appreciated.
Take care 🙂
Hey Ollie! Thanks for stopping by and leaving your feedback. Better to realize this now and make changes than wait 10 more years! You’re still young, go make the most of it! (BUT, don’t use the fact that you’re young as an excuse to stagnate!) Good luck, let me know any way I can help you out!
I don’t get why should I stop playing games especially if I got like nothing to do what I like, I like to play games, as you said “pure enjoyment of gaming” isn’t it something worthy? I mean very essense even of life is nothing and thus nothing in it carries any sense while the fun is about to have sense. Say someone got job/is studying, what he can do except it? Everything is just has no sense to do, totally. Why not escape from life and have some fun? You say do something like: learning to play guitar/pick-up girls, but really is it something better than just playing? You DON’T NEED all this shit and it’s not even profitable, so playing is kinda safe and harmless aren’t it? Well my problem is I got quite nothing worthy to do except playing sometimes.
Thank you soooooo much forth is I have a major addiction ever since I was 8 15 now I played video games 15-20 hours a day sometimes not sleeping today my mom had a talk saying if I didn’t get off she would sell them and it terrified me I went in my bedroom and cried! I was so desperate I looked at the Internet for an awnser and they all says the same thing exercise limit ur time, well I already tried that and oh guess what it just made it worse for a week I was on the computer 23 hours a day I fell extremely sick of the lack of sleep and the doctor wanted to no why I wasent sleeping I had to tell the truth so I told him (with my mom near by) I played video game he told me what everything els does limit your time IT DOSENT FUCKING WORK!
So I saw ur article and man that’s intense it really moved me I have also been trying to loose weight as I am 15 weighing 210 and no advice ever worked but yours I’m gonna spread this to my friends because you really changed my life and Probly saved it thank you so much
Kind regards
-markus
Must note that: who plays WoW and cs? Retards! Who plays games almost all day? Retards! Who has fun from playing crappy game whole day? Retards!
Interesting article. I must say that I worked at video game addiction from the wrong direction: have so much to do in the meantime that in order to play I would have to go out of my way to do it, but still tried at least. So the idea of “filling the void” as a means to quitting video games is valid, and probably the least difficult.
In many respects, if you stick to the concept of “why am I doing this so much?” instead of “I just need to use sheer willpower to stop”, you can quit just about any “addiction”. I knew a drug couselor who was very successful at getting teenagers off drugs by addressing why they were going to the drugs in the first place and putting less energy into just stopping the intake.
I have played COD2 since it came out, but maybe for an hour at most in a day. I actually have to force myself, because I am so busy I don’t otherwise relax. Go in, smack a few heads, log out. Been killing the same people for years.
The advice in this article is sound. I have lived it. Get out the door and find other things to do. The hold that the electronic world has on you is not as strong as you think once what feeds that hold is denied. When I hear of people playing for hours upon hours a day, I think “heck, wish I had that kind of time”.
I’ve played video game pretty much all my life. You can still play just don’t let it overtake you. It’s stupid to give up something you like doing. Playing for 16 hours a day every day at one point you say? You have so self control at all. I intend to play for as much of my life as possible.
I like video gaming a lot but I have other things I can do. Control your impulses and you’re fine.
@ Randomdude – Thanks for commenting man. If video games is what makes you feel fulfilled than that’s absolutely what you should do. But the point I feel like you’re missing in this post is that all the guys commenting on this post are saying they DON’T want to continue playing games, because it doesn’t actually make them happy. But yet they can’t quit and don’t know why. This is what I’ve explained in the post – the reasons why they keep playing. That’s why as soon as they find other activities that they actually enjoy and gain fulfillment from, they no longer want to play video games. If this person isn’t you, continue playing of course! But like you said, all you do is play games and you have nothing else to do, which is why you play games. So I’m unsure what you disagree with? Technically, you don’t need to do anything at all. You can go be a monk on a mountain and just meditate all day long starring at the sky doing nothing at all. Who cares right? But my goal isn’t to be a monk on a mountain, and neither are the 300+ guys who have commented on this article.
@ Markus – Thank you for commenting! I’m glad you were able to find value in it. Best of luck! I recommend reading books like the 4 Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson and Mastery by George Leonard. They will help you!
@ Doktor Jeep – Thank you for commenting. I definitely agree with your input on filling the void. It can be a step in the right direction but the types of activities you fill your time with is also very important. You have to find activities that you truly enjoy and become fulfilled by doing. Ones that make you more inspired to live life to the fullest every day.
@ Spencer – Thank you for commenting. Everything in moderation is fine. I’m not against video games, and think if you can keep it in balance it’s completely fine. That’s the part that 99% of guys addicted to video games have trouble with though, and that’s that they can’t actually manage it properly. I’m happy to hear that you can! 🙂
The biggest problem of getting over a video game addiction is being in denial.
Cam! I thought it be about time I gave you an update 🙂
God where to start!
I feel I have changed utterly and completely. I am a totally different person, and it’s all thanks to you and this incredible article.
I am doing really well at school! I stuck at it and it’s paying off. Because I had all that free time (time usually spent playing games), I actually did the homework, went over my notes, and remembered the stuff at home.
I have picked up a couple of new skills! Like I said, i’m learning Irish Gaelic, which is bloody awesome. I’ve just started learning Guitar and I attend Toastmasters (a programme aimed to better public/impromptu speaking) every week.
I’m socially confident, I can drift from group to group and get on with everyone. You don’t know how much this has changed my life.
I hit a few speedbumps along the way, of course. About two months ago I found myself playing a game called Dragonfable. I don’t know the reasoning behind it. It was probably because of the ease of access, and anonymity you had while on there. Anyway, it wasn’t good. It lasted for two weeks, then my sister found out and killed the internet for the next week and a half. Taught me a lesson. All the while playing, I felt guilty. Like I was cheating myself. I assume it’s the same feeling people get while smoking or drinking? someone enlighten me 🙂
I also found quite a lot of the time while at home (and not doing homework) I would be social networking. About three weeks ago I recently got quite addicted to the site Tumblr, i’m sure you know of it. It grabbed me and didn’t let me go for about 7 days. I was stuck inside it, trying to get more followers/learn html/rip coding off others. It almost was as bad as gaming.
Anyone else having the same problem? Because I started falling behind again, I decided to “squish the bug before it reared it’s head”. I found this programme amazing, especially for teenagers with end of year exams looming who find it hard to study. Try it out, it works like a charm 🙂
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/laankejkbhbdhmipfmgcngdelahlfoji
It basically is a blocker of websites. Really handy for Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/Youtube!
By the way Cam, for my Graphic Design subject at school, I actually have been designing an Anti-Computer gaming campaign. Could I possibly email you my brand and get a bit of feedback? All my contacts got deleted, what was it again? Would be excellent for referencing and stuff 🙂
I am amazed you’ve continued to support everyone else during the course of this article too Cam, you are one of a kind. Well done
go raibh maith agat bud!
@ Limb – I definitely agree that accepting where you are at is crucially important in order to grow! You can’t grow from somewhere you’re not.
@ Shaq – Stoked to hear about your progress! I’m very happy to hear your progress at school has been good. This is something hard to understand earlier in your life but I can tell you from experience, doing well in school is never something you will regret. The opposite however is definitely leaving things up to chance, so please continue to work hard at it. School opens many doors you won’t be able to see right now, but even more so, teaches you valuable traits like work ethic, focus and perseverance.
I’m also relieved to hear that you’re also doing well on the social side. Toastmasters was a great idea. I will use you as an example in recommending Toastmasters to other people that need to become more socially confident but may not be able to afford my 1 on 1 coaching.
Self-esteem is defined as one’s pride within themselves. So when you aren’t doing the things you say you are going to do when you say you’re going to do them you feel bad, and this hurts your self-esteem. This is the feeling of guilt you felt while playing Dragonfable. You felt guilt because you knew you were going against the word you had with yourself, and you are correct that this is a similar feeling to smoking and drinking.
Site blockers are great, thank you for the link. If coding is something you are interested in learning, check out codeacademy.com. It teaches you how to code by building games. You can definitely e-mail me! cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com. One last thing: If you are finding yourself having too many open blocks of free time to get sucked into things like social networking, dragonfable, etc, consider setting up Google Calendar and scheduling your time more effectively. I put everything from my reading time to my time to work on graphic design, to learning a language and my school time. Of course I also schedule my free time so I’m not just working 24/7. Check out this post: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/ Using Google Calendar changed my life completely. Maybe it’s what you need to take things to the next level!
Ok then I had no idea that someone that gets totally no profit from gaming(not even some fun) wouldn’t stop doing it.
Oh my gosh, I am literally in tears while reading this article and your comments. I’ve been trying to get my husband of over 10 years to understand how badly his addiction to video games is destroying him and our marriage but he doesn’t get it. Maybe ill send him this article and hope he reads it. I’m so tired of competing with a game. I’m at my wits end. Thank you for this insightful article. I will come back to read more of your comments after I have a good cry. It’s midnight and he’s still up playing warcraft instead of coming to bed with me. I’m so ticked off and tired of it.
Oh shit Mel, honestly send him here. It has helped me so so much, and my friends also. My family had to put up with my midnight sessions for years, and now I see how much it had hurt our family unit. Trust me, it’ll change him.
By the way Cam, thanks for that!
I realised that a little while ago eh, like, that you’ll be judged on your school results even when your an adult.
Mean! If you need I have an Email too, so I can share some experiences with them personally if you don’t have the time?
Ahh that explains it. Like, I knew it was a time-waster, and the time could be spent learning new things.
Yeah bro i’ll definately give it a go! Can you attach it to your mobile too? Because that’ll be really handy.
Honestly though, the thing that inspires me, and i’m sure others, is the Olympics that’s just about to finish.
Makes me want to get out there and run/throw/jump/sail etc. Funny how that stuff works eh? Like in school, when they put in the hard yards they reap the results.
SUCH a shame about Canada though… 😉
NEW ZEALAND 5-3-5 😀
IRELAND 1-1-3 😀
@Mel: Thank you for posting your comment! I hope this article is able to help your husband. Remember, someone needs to want help before they are able to receive it. But maybe this is a step in the right direction. I wish you and your husband the best of luck!
@ Shaq – Google Calendar is compatible with many mobile devices. I have mine sync’d to my iPhone and it is awesome! Any time I make plans with a friend or see a cool event or have an idea for something to do, I whip out my phone and put it in right away. I also always check my calendar before I go to bed and in the morning as well, just in case I forget I have something planned.
Shame about Canada indeed but we are more of a Winter Olympics country than Summer. But that’s no excuse for our poor performance. The problem is our Government doesn’t put very much money into Olympic athletes so it’s hard for them to train as much as they need to, since most of them have to have jobs too. Hopefully the Government continues to put more money into Olympic athletes over the years.
Hi. I’m a 27 year old addict to League of Legends and Grand Fantasia. Grand Fantasia has been my escape form the rage that League of Legends induces for lack of what I label as “Skilled Teammates.” When I play League, it’s a temporary escape from all the badgering I go through during the day from customers or family, depending on which of the two are heavier, if anything. Mostly, I play out of sheer boredom and lack of drive to do anything else. I’ll play all night and all day when I can, especially on days where it’s a work day with a day off next day after. I’ll play from morning, to night, into next morning, forego my own appetite, and fall asleep. During that sleep, I’ll sleep so long that I forego yet another set of hours where I would otherwise be awake and eat. This often gives me migraines and nausea, obviously because well, there’s nothing in my stomach except for stomach acid. This is obviously telling signs of a true addict.
I’ve been playing League since almost beta, and I have an embarrassingly high number of losses over wins, and with that knowledge, having over 1850 wins isn’t even impressive. I’ve told myself time and time again that I just need to practice and improve my micromanagement skills and I’ll become an overall better player, which will cause me to rage less, which will cause me to win more, which will cause me to become more confident and play ranked, which will cause me to rage more because the trolls and bad players and bad plays happen at every ranking latter in equal servings.
League of Legends was my escape from my addiction to Magic: The Gathering – A money sucker that had its clenches on me for over 7 years, at least. I played from Urza’s Legacy all the way to Betrayers of Kamigawa. It took my cards being stolen to stop playing and “investing” in that game. Then I find myself playing League, a FREE TO PLAY game in a genre I didn’t even know existed until my friend introduced me to it, and I find myself spending real live cash from my debit card just to LOOK COOL while I play poorly and insult everyone. It’s retarded at best and I never knew why it even fulfilled any sort of desire I had.
The reasons why I don’t outright QUIT League of Legends is that winning in that game, even if it’s a close match feels great to my ego and makes me feel like I’ve helped accomplished something big – “Working as intended.” Well, this supports my want for more skins and features to pay for, for no actual non-aesthetic reason. Maybe I’m just a collector at heart. But that’s a dumb reason to invest actual money into a game I actually suck at. =/
I work at Walmart as a cashier, my car is dead and needs to be sold, I lost my title, I can’t afford to buy a new one, I come home wanting to kill something after work because my superiors are so dumb and bad at solving customer problems, and I’m always angry – if not from work, then as the result of playing League of Legends or Grand Fantasia – It is SO HARD TO LEVEL in that game without dying a million times or botting. I hate it. But I’m an addict to what I see as “semantically effortless self-improvement.”
I used to spend all my time playing drums instead of playing video games, and when I couldn’t play, I’d play Super Smash Bros. Melee, Soul Calibur III, or some action shooter like Siphon Filter.
I need some incentive to just stop playing and do something else with my time, rather than just refill my rage meter. >:C
Hey Dustinsanity!
Thanks for stopping in and leaving your comment. What activities would you do if you could? What job would you have if you could? These are the right types of questions to ask, because you can work towards those. I think you’ll enjoy these posts, so check them out and let me know what you think:
Social Dynamics is the Ultimate Video Game
http://kingpinlifestyle.com/social-dynamics-is-the-ultimate-video-game/
Increase Motivation Levels
http://kingpinlifestyle.com/the-4-step-process-to-creating-a-vision-for-yourself-increased-motivation-levels-guaranteed/
How to Stop Self-Sabotage
http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-stop-self-sabotage-forever/
Cam, you have changed the course of my life. Thank you.
I started gaming after i got in a fight with my neighbor @ 5 and got banned from there house well my best and only friend lived next door and my neighbor gad a kid my age so he would always bring my friend over to his house knowing i couldnt go over, abd my brother had a n64 with golden eye my life for the next few years but eventually i made friends with another video game lover who got me hooked on mmos. A year later he moved away and then a fews after that i moved too. And then i got hooked on another strategy mmo where i created a fack facebook o i could talk to my friends, well i quit that thankfully no longer play mmos but havr been stuck on minecraft and my 360 and i have to say i am ready to talk a good after thanksgiving meal of cold turkey, now im not social never have been ever tells me to ask about the person im talking to but they never works bcause im the only one trying most of thr time so any help in the social department would help
Najib – You don’t know how much it means for me to hear that. But only because it makes me so happy to hear that you are that much closer to living the life YOU want. And you deserve all the credit. You’re the one who will put in all the effort after all. 🙂 Best of luck!
Neet – Thanks for commenting. There’s a ton of articles on this site that will help you so I definitely recommend signing up for the newsletter and also reading as many articles as you can. I’d also pick up the book: “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. It’s a great book to help you get started being social. I’d also recommend joining social clubs. What are some activities you enjoy? Are there any clubs for them? I participate in yoga classes, book clubs, chess clubs, etc. These help me be in social environments where I have something in common with them. I’d definitely suggest joining some. Things like a dodgeball league!
Great article. After I finished reading this I uninstalled all the video games off my computer. I need to be done with them. Too many hours sitting idly in my computer chair, self stagnating, making excuses and ridiculous justifications in my head to keep gaming. I’ve been weening off the past couple months. Finally ended my WoW subscription after 5 years. All the time I logged into that, I think about how much better I could be at guitar, being social, and at life if that crack pipe of a video game hadn’t diverted my focus and attention for so long. But now I’m making the conscious decision to quit all together. Tomorrow my college classes start, which I need to take seriously for once. I also just signed up for jiu jitsu classes so I should have no problem keeping busy and both of these will provide me with some opportunities to meet new people. Thanks for the motivation.
I have always wanted to be a carpenter and learn wood carving. My dream is to some day own a guitar shop where sell my own jand made guitars and to run a mile in 5 minutes on 4 limbs
Keithe – Thanks for dropping by and commenting. The steps you have taken are great to start! Being busy will help you a lot. I’m excited to hear how your school year goes this year without video games. Your grades will thank you for it!
Neet – Wood carving sounds fun! You should definitely check it out. I’m sure there’s a class nearby you could take! Opening up a guitar shop would also be cool. Do you play guitar right now?
Yah i have for a year but video games became my life so i haven’t been playing as much as i should.
Do you have any friends that play guitar? That would help a lot!
Yeah I watched those. I quit playing League all out. 4 days so far. Sometimes I’ll play Grand Fantasia when I’m extremely bored and have literally nothing to do.
Quitting video games has been on my mind for quite awhile now. I’ve begun noticing other guys I know going cold turkey in which shortly after their life flourished tremendously. It has inspired me to quit as well, but it was something that I’d give it a quick thought for a moment and then dismiss the idea of it. I can relate to this article so much that it is almost a direct reflection of myself because I too have played CS 1.6, Star Craft, and Modern Warfare 2.
Video games has been a large part of my life ever since my parents bought me a Sega Genesis when I was 7 years old. As you mentioned in this article it’s always been there for me as an escape or to simply kill time. Growing up I had very low-self esteem, terrible social skills, and not one constructive hobby. This allowed video games to continue being a major part of my life. Slowly though throughout high school I made progress towards self-improvement, but the effort so far [I would consider] has been minimal and it has now come to a halt within the past year (I am now in my mid 20’s).
As of lately, it has utterly consumed me. I gave up going to college halfway through the spring semester this year (which resulted in me failing all my classes) and I refused multiple job offers to commit myself fully to playing video games. So I’m unemployed and in debt (because of college). So because I have put video games above everything; my life is in shambles. I am now trying to correct my mistakes.
This article has helped empower me to quit video games. To kick it completely out of my life and seriously begin the road to self-improvement. Today I’m going to unplug my Xbox, pack it up, and take it to a pawn shop. I will uninstall all the games off my computer. I’m also going to start going back to the gym with more ambition than before. Coincidentally, I too have had dreams of becoming a DJ since my freshman year of high school and I recently found a local DJ school where I can become a professionally licensed DJ. Which I will attend in the future, after I get a job (lol)! I also started having talks with an Army Recruiter to join the reserves and help pay for college and the debt that I’m in.
I want to sincerely and with my deepest gratitude thank you for posting this article. It has proven to be a serious, logical, and mature way in giving up the obsessive behavior of playing video games. It is finally time for me to move forward with my life in a positive direction!
Yep, ditto. I’ve been playing games a long time. I used to feel more at home in a good CS map than in real life. DOTA is the only one I really play a lot these days (that’s a lie) because a game only takes 15m to an hour. Then I can start a new game or take a quick break if I need to. I’ve tried to reduce the amount of play but the urge to play just grows stronger everyday. I’m going to try and quit cold turkey starting tonight. I’m going to delete the game from the computer (yikes) and break the disk (cry). But the HARDEST part of all this is not starting some new random game on the internet because there are so many and they are so accessible all the damn time. I joined a soccer team, first game is Sunday and I’m so out of shape. Wish me luck (not with soccer, with quitting).
This is the day when I stop gaming.
Since I was a little child I’ve been playing games. At this age I’ve been competitive in almost every game I touched such as DOTA, LOL, WOW, CS etc. But after recent events (just started in a new school) I’ve decided to get a hold of my life and stop playing games. I’ve realised that there’s more to life than gaming, I just gotta go out there and go do it. I hope that I will be able quit the whole gaming thing and start doing RL stuff instead.
6 months since I quit. Still experiencing urges to play, mostly LoL, and some Minecraft. Just missing all the fun I had with friends while playing LoL and talking on Skype. Being really good in it. But still, the urges are NOT EVEN NEARLY as big as they were like a week after I quit.
Anyways, thank you, Cam, you have done a great job for all of us. You are the one who changed my life :D. Thank you.
@cam no i have no friends. I cut ties with them because they would drag me down
I looked up on this because i feel horribly ashamed of myself, i have been playing video games for the past three years since i was 13 and for the past two years i have been doing my gcse’s and exams. Two days ago i got my results back and i found that i had only one c grade and the rest were very embarrassing, i feel the reason for this is because of my addiction to gaming and the fact that i have been playing them for about 13 hours a day everyday, i played video games instead of concentrating on my exams and studying and i strongly feel that i need to kick video games for good because so far the only thing they have given to my life is negativity. Soon ill be starting college and i really dont want gaming to get in the way of my further education and lifestyle choices, i am going to try some of the ideas expressed in this article and am going to try to sell everything to do with gaming i own altogether, i really want to get into a career of engineering and i really hope ill be able to quit the gaming life forever. Wish me luck!
Hi there! I just stumbled upon your website. I turned 16 this Summer and I’m using all my time on the PC! When I get home from school (9th grade) I play all day and usually never with friends. I play a lot of Counter Strike 1.6 and I feel like such a loser in school. I mean my friends at school they appreciate me as the funny little guy (I’m small in height compared to the others). I feel like I could make so much more out of my life. I love playing Football, but It’s so hard to play because I’m so small. I don’t know what to do, I have an impossible time trying to quit gaming.
For background I started when I was about 10 or so with atari NES and that other old system voyager or w/e the thing that looks like a typwriter lol. (just looked it up the odysee) Anyways since then I moved through the Final Fantasy era with a huge addiction to RPG’s as a kid and teenager. I dropped out of school in the 7th grade with straight A’s and was homeschooled from then on. (IE I didn’t do anyhtign but play games day and night. no homework got done till they eventually gave up.) that continued till about age 17 when I picked up pot as a pastime which just supplimented my games because it was my fav thing to do while high. I have continued to play them just as much through my life despite a couple jobs here and there none that lasted too long as u can imagine I spent alot of nights up late and was always tired at work. today I am 30 years old. I have a 1 1/2 yr old and a 5 month old and have been married 4 years living here without a job the entire time. I have been a full time student for about 2 years. (microsoft Networking) anyways, I still to date play games every possible moment of my life. when I had kids it was my grades that suffered not my games. I started with 99-100% classes today they are often dropped or b-c’s barely making my prereqs. which is really sad in my mind since I have a high IQ and have always been regarded as the most intelligent person of pretty much anyone I know, both by myself and others. Despite my social problems. I have tried many times to stop. I got drunk one night and after fighting with my wife for a bit I tore a 5k dollar macintosh into shreds I was so sick of listening to her hate on it. and I truly want her to be happy you know. I was drunk but it was a choice I made soberly. I didnt regret it in the morning or resent her for it or anyhting. I was off for a year or so. then I got in school and I need a pc to do that now. And I am back on them. I can barely wait for her to get home from work every day to get me off kid duty so I can do somehting “fun”. I feel so stressed constantly any time other than that liek all of my personal time has been stolen and it is extremely stressfull for somebody who isnt accustommed to it. you’ll just have to take my word for it. Being a bum is not always the easiest thing int he world on people mentally. This is not where I want to be. Not even close. I want my wife to be happy and I want to stop being stressed constantly. I gave up drinking and smoke a little here and there to help me stay off the drinking because it is worse in my mind it makes me violent. No matter how I look at the games though I only fight with her more if I dont “use” them. (“use” as in an addictive substance because that IS what it is.) there is no suppliment pill to help me get off this drug and no psychologists are trained in this matter. My biggest problem is I don’t have ANYTHING I enjoy doing at all. I hate it outside. I am not prone to social interaction in the least in fact I have extreme social anxieties to be honest. I do not like board games dice etc. anythign involving luck bothers me alot. It’s like betting on a clouds formation ten minutes form now. It’s pointless. My wife likes it outside she likes board games etc. She likes hanging out with family and stuff. I cannot do any of that without it immediatly starting to stress me. The longer I do it the more I stress untill eventually I am ready to snap at anyone or anything in my path.
The interesting thing is after a fight with the wife last night I wnet to bro’s house and he made some comments about how he had moved out of our place because he was tired of the arguing about that topic because he fealt I was i the wrong and couldnt say so because he is my brother. so i went home kiss kiss make up all that jazz woke up this morning and randomly stumble across this article. Coincidence? Possibly or maybe fate or maybe god or who knows but here it is and so I will post.
I am not a perfect person in the least. I am a terrible husband without argument. Maybe I don’t deserve help on this but if u have any ideas I want them because I need to do something and I need to do it as fast as possible. My life is steadily losing its grounding comepletely. I really don’t know how to do anyhting else though. This is all I have ever done my entire adult life. My work history is soo bad right now that nobody in their right mind would hire me for any reason. Hence the schooling and hopefully some help at the end of that getting into somethign to get me started on a new history. (hopefuly)
any help is welcome, thank you. sorry if this is wrong place to ask for help but I thought it was worth a shot. I’m not familiar witht he web site at all. I’m not big on social networking etc. (may seem odd for a video game nerd but im kinda old fassioned.)
I should have specified what I am playing now prolly I guess. Dota 2, WoW, Diablo 3, PWI, Rohan, still cracking away at Wc3, Warhammer RTS version, and alot of EMU games. The main thing is though. I am sick to death of all of them. I switch games constantly from sheer boredom and aggrivation now especially with the MMO’s. but there is always another one I haven’t played in a while to pick up and play when I am sick of one. sorry for the double post.
@ Dustinsanity – 4 days is a good start. Keep at it, you won’t regret it!
@ Jonathan – Thanks for commenting. There’s definitely an interesting correlation between quitting video games and your life improving tremendously afterwards. I think a big reason for this is because video games tend to make you very passive, so you don’t put very much effort into actually doing anything else with your life. I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Remember this is the right action for you to take for a better life – a life you deserve to have! Definitely check out the rest of the articles on the site and sign up for our ebook. These will be positive steps as well. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help!
@ Andrew – Thanks for commenting! One of my clients has over 1000 hours played in DOTA 2. Pretty crazy stuff! Soccer is a good place to start. What other hobbies could you pick up?
@ Reed – Congratulations and thanks for commenting. A new school can be a new start, but only if you change the habits you have. You can do it. Look at all the comments of people doing this successfully. 🙂
@ Bodgan – 6 months is awesome! I’m super proud of you. The urges continue to get less and less intense as the time goes on. Take the urges as a major sign that you NEED to continue to not play.
@ Neet – It’s time to find some new friends for sure. 🙂
@ Ashley – Thanks for commenting! No need to feel shame. This is a very common problem, and it’s not even your fault. There’s a reason you started playing video games in the first time, and do you think when you were 13 you really had a chance to do anything else? You weren’t old enough to make your own decisions about games. You just thought they were fun. No way for you to know the long term damage it could do! Here’s an awesome article on studying: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/three-easy-ways-to-improve-studying-and-get-the-grades-you-want/
@ Frederik – Thanks for commenting! What other hobbies are you interested in? Write down a list of 15-20 and that will give you a good idea of where you start. Is there an instrument you’ve been interested in learning? What about a new language? If football isn’t motivating, you just need to find something else that is!
@ Bernard – Thanks for commenting! I appreciate the amount of detail you’ve gone into. I definitely relate to the whole dropping out of school and playing video games all day thing. I did it too. It’s difficult to quit when you don’t know what else you like, and this is definitely the place to start. Something that has helped me a lot is working on my self-esteem, because when your self-esteem is low, you don’t really care about much and resorting to what’s familiar (video games) is the easiest option. So then the question becomes: how can you improve your self-esteem? To me this starts with every action you take. Every action you take either creates positive or negative momentum, and this momentum is what decides the course of actions you continue to take. It’s important for you to understand (yourself) that things need to change, and I believe you understand this. It’s probably a time to focus on being more selfless then selfish. It’s not a time to focus on what makes YOU happy but what makes your family happy. It’s apparent your family has been behind you and has allowed you to do your thing, so now maybe it’s time to repay them by doing what you need to do for them.
One major thing I’ve found that helps me grow and become a better person is reading. There’s many great books out there you could pick up, and one of them is The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. I’d also look into things like exercise and meditation. Yes meditation may seem a bit lame (it’s common for guys to view it this way), but meditation can be a great way to learn how to control your emotions, and as you mentioned, not playing games causes your emotions to get wild. It’s time to make some real life changes. The definition of Maturity in my mind is being able to understand the bigger picture. The bigger picture in your life right now is the long-term success of your family. Obviously if you continue to play games and behave the way you have you will continue to get the same result, and from what you’ve said, things with your family aren’t very good right now. It’s time to try some new things, and I think meditation would be a great one. It will help keep you calm and focused on what’s important: the success of your family.
I’d also recommend writing down a list of 15-25 things you want to experience. A bucket list of sorts. This may give you more direction for activities you can try.
Last thing: When making a big change like this it’s easy to feel resentment towards the responsibilities entities who caused you to have to quit something you enjoy. The best way I’ve learned to deal with this is to switch the perspective of quitting video games to simply starting a new chapter in your life. It’s not that playing video games wasn’t fun or bad, it’s simply a chapter in your life that has now closed, and you’re starting a new one. This next chapter doesn’t involve playing video games. This has helped me not have to deal with resentment and negative views, and instead, has allowed me to move on properly.
Hope that helps!
Your advice is as laughable as it is bad. I hope you don’t take yourself seriously. If you feel shame for being a Starcraft addict and think that turning yourself into a bullshit pickup artist makes you a better person, well bully for you I suppose. I don’t really need narcissistic pricks like you telling me how to spend my time or chastising the hobby for making us into cheeto-eating mutants. We have already have scores of base-level douchebags lining up for that position, we need no more.
I kind of feel sorry for the people buying into your “advice”. But I’ll probably feel more sorry for the people who they end up bullying, just like you bullying them into changing. Because to describe Cam in one word? Bully.
Hey Bort. Thanks for commenting. I’m a bit puzzled by your comment because I’m not a “pickup artist”, nor do I have any idea where you got the idea from. In fact, I think pickup is completely retarded and flawed. You can hear more of my thoughts here: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/pickup-is-flawed/
Not sure what part of my advice is “laughable or bad”, nor how I’m a bully or anything along those lines. But I wish you the best of luck. 🙂
Thanks for making your article as articulate as it could be. It was interesting to hear your gaming background, how extensive it is, and especially how you were able to get rid of your gaming addiction.
I am also addicted to League of Legends. I’ve been playing it for the last two years and have been going up in the ELO ladder considerably. While the pros are at 2600 ELO, I’m around 2400 ELO. I am entering my junior year of high school and seeing that next year is going to be very important for college, I realized I need to quit games altogether. I’ve tried to uninstall the game, but the day after I do that, when I’m doing homework or something, I will have the urge to play. This sensation usually comes after about two hours of homework or something. I’ll be writing an essay, then I’ll be bored to death. I will automatically start thinking about games, and as a result re-install it again. Do you have any suggestions on how to get rid of my addiction?
Hey Cam great read!
My situation was pretty hopeless, I am 27 right now finishing my last year of bachelors and working 2 jobs with 3 kids at home.
I was playing video games since I was 13. Age of Empires (1998-03), poker 03-04 (real money), Dota (04-05, 06-10) Counter-Strike (05-06, 10-present). I was always engaged into sports, Ice hockey since I was 6 years old through college, soccer/lacrosse in high school but was never really part of the team or had any close friends who I would do things with all the time, just adequateness. I had few serious relationships while in high school/college. I have always had a job after graduating high school. I end up dropping out of college (2004) my freshman year due to staying home and playing games, that was a carry over my senior year in high school where I just didn’t bother going to classes most of the time as I thought I was too smart. From 04-08 I did nothing but go to work, I had 8am-3pm and 6pm-10pm job and game 3pm-5:30pm and 10pm-12am weekdays and whole weekends through if my parents didn’t b***** too much. I had complete lack of goals during those 4 years, with a brief thought of going back to college eventually but it was getting pushed into unknown day after day.
In 2008 I end up meeting my wife (I was not looking for gf at all, she found me on a social website and things took of from there), shortly we decided to get married. I end up going to community college that summer for summer classes, then fall semester and spring. In 09 I was readmitted into university because I had all As and Bs in community college. My wife hated video games from get go, so I did not play around her much at all. As I got to college I started to take laptop with me and play there instead of classes, staying late after classes claiming I had a lot of school work, etc. It lasted for whole year, I somehow managed to get Bs and Cs at college but end up telling the truth to my wife, because I was simply tired of lies and was discussed with myself. My wife and I worked together on this, knowing I have very little to no control over myself. We set up strict schedule at college eliminating any possibility of me playing. It lasted few months before I just told her I will find a way to sneak out and play so I rather do it at home and she must allow me to do it. It went from 2-3 hours/week to 5-10 hours/week 10pm-12am nearly every day, after kids were asleep. It was rough time for a year, we argued a lot, as she hated me playing, and I wanted to play, telling myself that I need to play to keep my sanity (14 credits during Junior year at college, 20 hours/week of day job doing engineering projects, 15 hours/week evening job, 2 kids at the time, some house chores and 10 hours/week of gaming), I was not giving up my gaming even at the cost of marriage. She kind of gave up, which lessened my urge to play as I had freedom of choice now. I often started picking going to sleep early if I felt tired instead of religiously playing every night.
So now I am back to playing Counter Strike:Source/GO as it is less time restricting/demanding I can quit any time I need to in case kids get up or whatever. I play around 6-7 hours/week, 3-4 times/week for an hour or so.
Reason I play right now: to keep my sanity, get my competitive fix.
My plan was to quit gaming once I graduate and get a real job in about a year now. As it is very difficult in my situation to find other activities I might enjoy as much as gaming since my only free time is 10pm-12am due to the business of my schedule.
Pros: Entertaining, competitive fix.
Cons: Dissapointed wife, lack of sleep at times.
Mike hes a idea dont know if its possible for you but try not using it for a week and giving it to your parents for couple a weeks make aure to tell them to not give it back for the set amount of time
@ Mike – Thanks for commenting! It’s really cool to see so many high schoolers leave their feedback. What I would suggest is deciding on a new activity to do when you’re bored.
Think about it like this: When you are studying and you get bored, you go play games. That’s your autopilot response. The key isn’t to study more, it’s to do something else when you take a break so you can get back to studying again. What’s something else you could do instead? This doesn’t have to get too complicated. Even for me, when I’ve worked a few hours straight… I need a break! So I get up and go for a walk, call a friend, play on my DJ decks for a minute. It helps to give my mind a quick rest and then back to work I go. You have to view defeating your addiction as a habit like everything else. Lastly: What other goals do you have other than school? What do you want to do with your life?
@ Myxa – Thanks for commenting! Cool that you played lacrosse! It’s a great game. Definitely sounds like a tough situation. If you can hold it within 10-12 I don’t see why it would be so bad, but you’ve also shown that to be difficult. I appreciate you sharing your story with me and hope writing it out helped you see things with more clarity. For fun, what are some other activities you could have between 10-12 that aren’t games?
@ Neet – Thanks for helping give other people advice. I appreciate it!
Hey Cam. Great article. I really enjoyed it as I am always looking for ways to self improve.
I am a bit older then your average reader. I am 42 and will be 43 years old this Monday! Life does fly by! Anyway, I started gaming at the age of 12 on the Atari! I played a few games and it was never really a problem, because I would get out of the house and play sports with my friends. I stopped gaming for a bit and picked up the Nintendo. I played Mario, but my passion were the sports games. I went to the Art Institute in Florida. A school mate had the Sega Genesis and Madden! I would skip school and I played for hours. I would try to study formations, etc… It was really ridiculous. I dropped out of school and ended back home in New Jersey. I stopped gaming completely and went to community college. In 1999, I found computer gaming, Half Life and Age of Empires! I was hooked! At this time I was living with a roommate and working for the US Post Office. I’d stay up until 4am playing AoE, and I would have to be at work by 10am. This continued for a bit. I quit the post office, went back to school and started to work at the mall doing midnight security. I would work from 12am-8am, come home by 9am and I would start to immediately game! I would normally drink 2 cups of coffee. There were a few times that I stayed up all day and I would have to be back at work! I didn’t even get 10 minutes of sleep, and I had a 1 hour car ride to work. When I look back I can’t believe that I put myself in such a dangerous position. This continued until 2005 when I graduated from college. From 2005-2012 I have owned 2 Xbox’s, 2 PSP’s, and a PS3. I am typing this comment on a gaming laptop that I bought from IBUYPOWER.
I have a love hate relationship with gaming. I hate it. I will game for a long while, get discouraged with gaming and sell everything that I have game related. Then a month or two will pass and I will get the itch to game again. I will go right back out to Best Buy and purchase another system! Then the cycle repeats itself. The same thing is happening now. I have since deleted everything on my laptop and I had deleted my Steam account. But what do I do? I downloaded Steam again last night! I haven’t re-installed any games yet though. My bad gaming habits have started to kick in and I found myself playing for hours on the weekend. It’s a beautiful day and I am inside playing video games! Does that make sense?
My life has actually turned for the better. I am now in South Korea teaching English at a private school. I went to Thailand last month and I met a beautiful Thai girl who is 10 years younger then me. I actually look a lot younger then my age. Anyway, I have been here a year now and it has been a wonderful experience.
I have 2 books that I would like to recommend to your readers. These have helped me in my quest for self improvement 1) The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. The author Stephen Covey briefly discusses the inside/out approach to progress. He talks about how we are not our habits! We can change. He states “We need to be proactive! As human beings we are responsible for our own lives!” I love this classic book 2) Life’s Greatest Lessons: 20 Things That Matter. The author, Hal Urban goes 20 life lessons that we should incorporate into our lives so we can be more productive individuals.
Cam, I think you should discuss porn addiction as well. I do believe that porn and video gaming are intertwined. Staying inside for long periods of time can be quite frustrating sexually. And with our high speed cables and the ease of porn, I can see a lot of young people gravitating towards it. Excessive gaming and porn both make the perfect partner. Just my opinion…
Thank you,
Ben
I did a good thing this year, I sold my video game (XBOX 360)!
@ Ben – Thanks for taking the time to comment. Very cool to hear your history with gaming. Thank you for opening up and sharing with me. It’s also interesting to me how many of the readers who have commented and sent me e-mails have also went to South Korea to teach English. How do you like it? Do you think it’s a good idea for younger people to do?
I definitely relate to you about not being able to get away from games. It truly does come down to developing other passions. Because of the popularity of this post I’ve decided to write an ebook on the subject. I’m currently working on it. I have many different topics to add onto the post, including porn addiction. I was happy to hear you suggest that topic. I’m also going to add an additional resources section and add the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People into it. I think it’s a great idea.
I haven’t heard of the second book but I will definitely check it out. It looks like a great resource. Have you been to this site? http://yourbrainonporn.com It’s enlightening about porn addiction.
@ Tiago – Booya!
Hey All!
@Cam : Thank you so much for this great article 🙂
Well, I started playing video games since 2008, when my brother bought a PC. Now, I have 17 years old. I played almost all Need for Speed series, Counter strike 1.6, Call of Duty 1,2,4 and GTA III,Vice city,San Andreas, and so one..
I want now to leave video games. The principal reason that it can help me is in my new pc, I have a conflict between my USB internet modem and my graphics card drivers. When i install the newest drivers, my USB modem can’t work. You know, I can’t stay without internet, and still pay it. ;D
It’s time to stop video games, I’m going to buy an acoustic guitar, I love it because it’s the title of the all romantics melodies. So I can find a Girlfriend ! 🙂
Thank you again CAM for your great article, and sorry for my bad english, Because i’m from Morocco in North Africa, and our second language is French, after Arabic.
Greetings 🙂
Note: I didn’t used any translator, is my english good ? xD
I use to play WOW a lot 12-15h a day everyday in highschool , evan quited school , unfortunaty i finish school with low grades and cant go to collage becose of that , and im from Romania and here you have to work 12h a day loading a truck with potatos and do back braking work for 100$ a month . Cus highschool diploma count for crap here . I fail at my driving exam in highschool cus i was to fuking busy playing WOW ! Now my life sucks , have huge bils , live with my mom in a broken appartment , have no PC im writing from my low tech phone , no GF , no future and i regret every single moment of playing gamens and thinking of suicid !
@ Amrani – Thank you for commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the article. Acoustic guitar would be a great alternative! Your english is quite good. Good job 🙂
@ Robertkumo – You do have a future. You have to start working towards it now. Can you go back to school and upgrade your classes so you can get into college? I know there’s a lot of people in Canada that have to do that. No need to feel shame about it, it’s just the step you need to take in order to build yourself a better future. You can do it! 🙂
Ever since I was 4 years old I have been surrounded by video games. The first moment I sat down and my dad showed me Starcraft it has been a part of my life. I didn’t view it as anything but fun until a couple years ago. I built my own gaming computer and committed to gaming competitively. A couple times since then I have tried desperately to drop it but it is SO HARD. All of my friends love video games (although they are not as big a gamer like myself) and my dad, and much of my other relatives play them all the time. Every time I socialize in a game or pass a milestone in the video game I feel great. Now that I’m starting to realize that I’m in high school and need to take life seriously, I really need to quit. It’s difficult when I get texts from people asking if I’m getting online or getting notifications from my games to drop them. It’s been ingrained in my brain that my happy place is sitting at a computer screen. I don’t know where to turn.
Show me someone who spends hours online playing Mafia or Farmville, and I’ll show you someone who probably isn’t very successful – Mj DeMarco.
@ Jake – Thanks for commenting! It’s crazy. Right now I’m writing an book on how to quit video games because of the popularity of this article, so lately I’ve been doing a lot of research into it. Did you know that in the U.S. 91% of kids aged 2-17 are playing video games? Thats 64 million kids!
But that’s not the scariest part. The fastest growing age group of gamers is 2-5 year olds, so it makes sense when you say you started at the age of 4. Video games have just been what you’ve always played.
Picking up other hobbies is the best approach. If you read through the comments of this post you’ll find a bunch of suggestions, like guitar or learning a new language. Just know, you aren’t alone. You can do it! 🙂
@ Tiago – That’s a great quote. Thank you for sharing it.
i just know i cnt keep myself from playing games forever
becouse its the only thing i like and where im good at ..
the nicest ppl i met where in an mmo theyr not real but evryone is just nicer in games .
i dont know about you but i would rather live letting games fu*k up my live then living a fu*kt up life
life su*ks and im just better off playing games my whole life i guess.
@ Thomas – What else have you tried to be good at? How much time did you play video games? Did you ever start playing a video game and not be very good at the start… but get better over time? You have to approach other hobbies like that too. They take time to develop into skills!
If living a life where games fuck it up IS the same thing as living a fucked up life. Neither is better than the other, they are both the same.
Life doesn’t have to suck. You can decide to make it better, but YOU have to be the one willing to put in the work. Taking the easy road is always easy. 😉
Hey Cam,
just obtained my bachelor’s degree in business informatics 😀 I’m so happy!
(I’m the guy who wrote sth. about board games some time ago^^). I also got a really nice job, beginning in october. Now it’s time to learn new things every day 🙂
Stop wasting my time on computer games definitely helped a lot 😉
Thanks for the column. Its nice. I myself am on day 1 of going cold turkey on games. I started gaming when I was 5, I’m now 21. I stopped enjoying gaming about 2 years ago, but by then I was too addicted to quit, even if it wasn’t any fun. On day 1 of going cold turkey I have had one of the best days of my life. I have done so many things I’ve wanted to do for ages, I’ve eaten great food, gotten back into my old hobbies and started a new one. Sure, I’m a little sensitive from the withdrawals, but spending a day completely alone and not getting even slightly bored isn’t something I’ve been able to do for almost a decade. I love how insightful this article is. It really makes me feel like I’m going to get through the other side of this.
Toby
@ Marcus – Thanks for letting me know how you’re doing! I’m super proud of you. Keep kicking ass. 🙂
@ Toby – Thanks for commenting! I always appreciate when guys leave their feedback. Congrats on taking the first step. You’ll be fine if you commit 100%. Just remember how good your first day was when you stopped playing games. You can do it! 🙂
Hey Man This is a great article i am 16 and I’ve tried to quit playing video games before but i always got the same crap advices like you mentioned at the start but after reading this article things changed. i thought a lot about what you mentioned in your article i said to myself if i had these advices before i could have quit playing long before.overall i just wanted to thank you for helping so many of us trapped in our monotonous world but before i go i just wanted to say that the things you said are only suitable to the people who have freedom like in America or England but in my country (Iran) we can’t do everything we want to we can’t go out with girls we can’t wear short pants… basically we can only think about studying so i just wanted to say we are not as free as you are in replacing video games
Hey CAM, nice tutorial, i came in after reading 2 or 3 other ones that are pretty unuseful.
I was a hardcore gamer when i decided to stop and go to netherlands from italy by bike. that was my great dream, and now i know why.
I needed exactly what you described… fun, competition, escape from a computer, and growth (in kilometers! :D). well… i didnt see a computer for the 20 days of the travel, i was 10 hours on the bike everyday and i finished everyday lying destroyed on a bed in a random german hostel. then i arrived there… no house, no friends..nothing.. well, i got a house, i got friends in a dutch course, actually i made more friends than in the rest of my entire previous life. now that im back in my house, with my pc, i felt how the gaming competition is so poor compared to the epic things you can do outside! now im full of ideas and projects for my future, all thanks to that experience.
So my tip is: best way to stop playing games is take your bike and go for the longest trip alone of your life.
@ Ali – Thanks for commenting! I’m glad you found the article valuable. It’s definitely a valid point to mention about the differences between countries. Something to take into consideration for sure.
@ ROH – Thanks for commenting! That sounds like a really cool dream! I’ve always been into biking too. It’s amazing how much of a difference there is between the thrill of playing video games vs. the thrill of going after an epic dream. 🙂 Best of luck to you.
wow this is very interesting im 17 ged no job I have nothing to do but play video games help me!!!7
I once knew a man who watched a lot of movies, even went out to the theatre on Friday! He was probably addicted to those movies! Video games are a source of entertainment. You can have some pretty rad experiences with them. Not trying to be the nay-sayer, but I have developed comprehensive social skills, self-awareness, and independence all whilst having a flourishing “career” with video games.
im way confused I came herr to quit gamed but I dont get any resplnses:(
@Stevie You will get them soon, they don’t appear everyday. sometimes not even every 2 days. So just wait. 🙂
@ Stevie – Thanks for commenting. Sorry I didn’t get back to you right away, but I hope you’re having a great week! You have lots you can do other than play games. You just have to decide a few things to do first. What are other activities that interest you? Meaning… what kind of activities have you thought would be cool to try? Guitar? New Language? A sport? If you search through the comments here you’ll find a lot of ideas of other things you can do.
Mikey B has a post coming up about how to find your passion, here’s his main points about it, maybe this will help you:
“Step 1: If you can’t find your “passions,” start by listing your “interests” or anything that you have a remotely intrigued with.
Ex: Reading, writing, working out, swimming, dancing, socializing, DJing, volunteering, cooking, etc.
Step 2: Experience these interests in any way, shape or form. Think of them like potential-passions.
Ex: Spend a day at the library on a search for the most interesting books, write out the short story you have always thought about, free-style a dinner at home and create something new, etc.
Step 3: Select the interests that you get the most value from or that are the corner stones for your preferred lifestyle.
Ex: You loved free-styling dinner, and you love being in control of what you eat, so you make the conscious choice to level up your cooking skills.
Step 4: Incorporate them into your lifestyle by exposing yourself to “a chance of failure” or a “test” of your potential-passions.
Ex: You freestyle a whole dinner for your friends and cook a unique once in a lifetime meal for them.
Step 5: Increase the challenges that you take on through your potential-passions until you can feel your “burning desire” to motivate you.
Ex: You enter in cooking competitions, have your dishes eaten by a food critic, you start your own following and blog to share what you have learned and increasingly expose yourself to the risk of rejection and failure.”
@ Nathan – Thanks for commenting. I definitely don’t disagree with you that it’s possible to develop social skills, self-awareness, independence etc while playing video games. That’s not my argument in this post. It’s definitely possible without a doubt, BUT, for many (just look through the comments on the post) that’s not what they are capable of, because video games are their whole entire world, and it’s the thing holding them back the most.
That’s not to say they can’t go back to games and achieve balance, but playing games is one of the obstacles standing in their way of making progress. Yes games are entertaining, but through research I’ve done, they’re much more than simple entertainment. However, using entertainment as the example, think about this:
Research says 91% of kids in the US between the ages of 2-17 play video games. That equates to approximately 84 million kids. The fastest growing age group within this range is kids aged 2-5. Yes, kids aged TWO to FIVE. 2-5 has had a 17 percent increase from 2009-2012. That’s pretty big.
Now, let’s analyze further. When a parent needs to “entertain” his kid nowadays, as early as the age of 2 they will toss him a video game. Think: smartphone, ipad, etc. (For us a bit older, this would have been a gameboy.) So you get a gameboy to entertain yourself, then as you get a bit older, you get a playstation or xbox. Once you age a bit more, you start playing games on the computer. Next thing you know, you’re now 18 years old or older and all you’ve ever done in your free time is play video games. Any time you’ve needed to be entertained it’s been your go-to. You’ve never developed other hobbies.
Diving into the research and other stats is a scary thing to do when it comes to video games. The popularity of this post alone is a good example.
Anyways, I definitely agree that video games aren’t necessarily the only problem, nor am I suggesting it’s never ok to play them. But my goal with this post wasn’t to focus it on the minority of people who CAN play them within balance. It was to focus on the guys who WANT to quit because they know they can’t continue living their life the way they are right now.
Thanks for your input, I appreciate the feedback.
@ Bodgan (Lobster) – I have a question for you, can you e-mail me? cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
Gaming is hard to quit because of boredom, I had many times when I quit and because of boredom I went back to it and being addicted all over again even when I regretted it the first, second, third and even fourth time. You might not believe me but I just decided to quit gaming forever, I even made an oath to myself, but I broken oaths like these so much I can’t even count them all. But fuck it this time I’m serious, but if only I could quit boredom. There are many things I like to do like, running, boxing, lifting weights, I started gaming again thinking I could limit my time like those stupid articles online, but I cannot limit addiction and I gained the 10 pounds I spend so much time losing. Now back to doing something other than gaming and boredom, fuck boredom. If i am bored I will counter boredom with boredom meaning what the fuck is wrong with being bored, if I am bored I will stay being bored. No more games, I rarely even wright on websites, actually I never do.
Hey Cam, good article, it came up first in google when I typed in “quitting video games” in the search engine and it seems pretty popular too with all these comments that you are getting!
I’ve been playing video games since I was 5 years old… I’m in my late twenties right now, my only other interests is playing guitar, fitness, and reading. In the future, I want to study a martial art, I have a place in mind nearby. Video gaming is a habit that is very hard to break, it’s what I turn to when I’m bored. I don’t necessarily enjoy gaming anymore, maybe on an odd occasion, depending on the game. Most of the time, it feels like I’m trying to fill an empty void inside my chest with these games. I updated my gaming rig for Guild Wars 2 that just came out a couple of weeks ago, however, I find it very hard to play mostly because I don’t see what the big deal is, and I got snuffed out by my online friends just because I’ve been absent for 3 months trying to fix up my life. It was kind of an eye opener.
I realized for awhile that video games isn’t going to get me anywhere (duh), I am completely area that gaming, in itself, is not a bad thing in moderation. But most people, me included, do not play video games in moderation, and when it’s the only hobby that you are investing your time into, other areas in your life will suffer. It’s getting towards the end of 2012, and I think it’s time to pack it up. To be honest, I am not sure how long I will last before I relapse, as I am unemployed and have a lot of free time on my hands…so I’m a little scared. I exercise an hour a day, practice guitar an hour a day, and read an hour a day…that’s 3 hours out of the day, what should I do with the rest? I guess I could just read even more, and practice even more. We’ll see how it turns out. I think once you’ve gamed for 20+ years, it’s time to pack up, you’ve seen all the stories, twists, and gameplay, that it’s almost impossible to get that edge and euphoria you felt as a child, when it was new, and something new was always coming out. Now it’s whatever. Either that or my dopamine levels have been fucked up from constantly gaming daily for 20-something years.
There should really be counseling for something like this, lol. Or a forum or something.
@ Someone Random – Thanks for commenting! It can be hard for sure. If you check out my comment above I talk a lot about how games have always been your go-to entertainment activity, and because of this, you’ve never had to develop other hobbies. What are times of the day you find yourself most bored and wanting to play games?
@ Robert – Thanks for commenting! The post has been popular enough that I feel obligated to write a book on the subject. There’s so much more I want to go into, like how to specifically find your passion, how to deal with negative emotions of quitting, the affect porn has on video game addiction, etc. It should be interesting so keep your eyes out for it.
It’s crazy that you’ve been playing since 5 years old. If you check my comment above this one I share some of the research I’ve found about video game addiction, specifically about how the age group of 2-5 is the fastest growing age group of kids playing video games. I can’t imagine a 2 year old playing a video game… it’s crazy!
You can last forever if you commit to making that happen. If you go into your journey with the attitude of “I’m not sure how long I’ll last”… you’re going to have a harder time quitting. Go into it with a mindset that you can do it and push every day to push one more day, and you’ll get there! Getting a job would be a good place to start because it will take up a lot of your time. Plus you’ll feel better having a job and making money. I’d start there and then you’ll only have 4-6 hours of free time per day, which you can use to read, play guitar and go to the gym.
I think I’ll be starting a forum for this soon. 🙂
Fantastic! Very nice and interesting post , I agree with everything. I was addicted to many games AT THE SAME TIME : WoW , LoL , DotA , Crossfire , MW3 ; played them all at the same time , failed a year in school , didn’t communicate with the outer world and didn’t do family stuff. I am not trying to look like a saint or to make you believe in anything , but I prayed and got what I asked for. I found the will to stop playing games , to do sports and to socialize , heck I even got my Aikido black belt and I’m so fucking proud. Now I have tons of friends and 4 packs lol. My life was changed because I had that commitment not to play , I eventually began to find the games REALLY BORING AND MEANINGLESS , seriously , in WoW , WTF do you do? What is the goal? As a conclusion , just do something else , and you won’t find time to play and you’ll quit playing.
Hey dude! This article is really powerful! I’ve tried quitting VIDEO GAME like 5 times (that’s right, not games, but game, I find all the video games completely boring and pointless, except 1: Diablo 2), and after a break of up to 3 months, I would always come back and play over and over again. Well, a few days ago, I’ve quit Diablo 2 again (FOREVER! FUCK!), but there it is… the temptation, but yeah, I’m strong xD
But why am I writing all of this, will you ask me… well, I still need some help. The thing is, I’ve filled 3 aspects already, I’ve been playing guitar like for 1 year already, but, I can’t seem to fill the social aspect. The thing is, I’m extremely shy (no, I’m not fat, and I’ve been practicing martial arts since 2008), and I can’t seem to find a subject to speak with a person for more than like 30 seconds… especially girls 🙁 I can’t even start a conversation… party will you say? I can’t see going to a party alone (I have almost no friends). I know that if I get a girlfriend, some friends, I’ll quit playing games for sure, FOREVER, but… how the heck some ppl can just come and lead an interesting conversation? And I know a few guys, who simply attract ppl to them, without doing anything, especially girls. DAMN! 18 yrs old, and I’ve never had a girlfriend… it kills me the fact of being so extremely shy! Srsly, how to start a conversation that actually IS interesting, and LASTS for more than 30 seconds… I’ve tried, believe me, many times… and we just end up looking down on the ground in silence. so… 3 holes filled, one last hole to fill, the social hole…
Help me please…
Whats the difference in DJing and playing video games?
@ Cedric – Thanks for commenting! That’s awesome that you got your Aikido black belt. I’m going to add martial arts to the list of ideas for people who want to find other passions or hobbies they could try out. I totally agree with what you said. Games seem much more boring now. 🙂 Thanks for adding your feedback.
@ Max – Thanks for commenting! The best tip I have for having more interesting conversations is doing more interesting things. Send me an email (cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com) and I’ll help you out more.
@ Brady – Thanks for commenting. The difference for ME between DJing and video games is that DJing leaves me more fulfilled. I feel better doing it because it’s something I’m actually passionate about.
Now, can you be passionate about games? Can games make you fulfilled?
Definitely.
But if you look through the comments, there are hundreds of guys commenting saying that they WANT to quit (meaning, they don’t get fulfilled by the games, or aren’t passionate). If I DJ for 16 hours in a row I feel GREAT. I feel empowered and like I’m moving closer to my purpose in life. (Not that I DJ for 16 hours in a row ever, but I use that merely as a parallel to video games).
This article’s purpose is to explain to people who want to quit why they aren’t able to. The people who want to quit are the ones who feel like shit when they continue to play, because they don’t feel in control of their own lives. They feel like their lives control them.
Hope that helps clear it up for you. Thanks for your question.
There must be something wrong. I’ve seen lots of those extremely addicted ppl in my school, like those guys who during the breaks just stand in the middle of the cafeteria looking dumbly at the ground O_o don’t care about how they look, and don’t shave…
But I’ve never seen such girls… I mean, there must be a great difference between girls and guys for this fact. Girls do never get addicted to games, they don’t even play them. Srsly what’s wrong with us -> guys? Or maybe girls don’t have the challenge -> improvement thought? 😀
This is just a subject I feel interesting to discuss HERE. But anyways, just pointing out the facts.
Hello Cam, I am currently 18 years old, in college, and have a loving and understanding girlfriend.. I am also addicted to gaming. I read this article because I am aware and I don’t want to feel as if its a job for me anymore. It really doesn’t help that I am OCD and I must have everything in a certain way. An example would be I must have Third-Person games rather than First-Person games in my own mind. I also want as much realistic and historical experiences in life. That said, I have always looked toward Video Games to give me that experiences, and it just feels like a job to me. For example: To shoot a bow and arrow in a game, or to swing a sword or drive a vehicle. I have always wanted to experiences as much as possible what could resemble or closely resemble that experiences, during my free time. The only way to truly experiences anything is to personalty act it, at least thats the conclusion i came up with. I just do not wish to just sit there and be same person I was whenever I’m done gaming, like you said in your article. I feel like for many years I haven’t gain much and I have lost money and more because of gaming. My real problem is just what could I replace gaming with? I like movies, but I am not sure if that is almost as bad as gaming. Reading Perhaps? Taking walks with one or the other? I just know that I must stop with gaming and find a new hobby, a suitable one. and no, I am not that much into music. I would like to hear your opinion and any advice, thank you. 🙂
@Dylan Pope
Dude. I know what you feel. And imo, the best you can do, is, to do that thing you want, but not in video games (well, swinging a sword… hm… ;D). For example, shooting with a bow and arrow, well, I’m sure you can find an archer’s club nearly. Drive a car? Well drive your father’s car once you get your driving papers, if not, just go to a small village with your father and the car, and drive with him in a deserted field and so on 😀 You see what I mean. Maybe you like some sport? imo oriental martial arts are far more interesting than a video game. Just trying to help.
Peace.
I’m back cam and I took your recemendation to account I quit playing video games (xbox live)(black ops) so I went to the library and got some non fiction books. , Boston masurcure Lincoln n Douglas world war 2 book n devils deciples n 5 dvds, some chuck norris volume 5 and the final seoson lol but its interesting forreal. N I got ancient newyork and two volumes of world war 2 ima info maniac. I want to thank everybody encouraging me getting me thru my addiction. Let me say this I graduated from juvenile probation from age 15 to 16 I graduated from a drug rehabilitation class (reefer) which was tramatic because weed. Should not be illegal so it was tuff so here I am 17 just 2 days of no gaming gladly after having a non stop addiction to games my history of gaming is severe playing 007 at age 5 or 6 truthfully I cannot tell you each game n how long I playedthem because I don’t really remember but let me cut it short and sweet I rap and I want to be a comedian someone getback at me holla if u hear me cam??
I pop up here every once in a while especially when I get the itch to start looking at video games again. I found this article that I agreed with 100% and thought it might be interesting for some people to see.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-to-tell-youre-getting-too-old-video-games/
@ Max – Thanks for commenting! Actually, the second fastest age group of kids in the USA playing video games is teenage girls, so in the next few years you’ll see more of them!
@ Dylan Pope – Thanks for commenting Dylan. What about finding hobbies that allow you to experience all of those things you mentioned you wanted but in real life? Climbing a mountain would be pretty crazy? MMA could be like your fighting games, you know what I mean? I’d write down a list of things you want to accomplish and start there. A bucket list! What about learning a new language or skill? Reading is great but I’d add some more active activities too.
@ Stevie – Welcome back! I’m stoked to hear about your progress. Join a stand-up comedy club! One of my friends did it and he was performing on stage within a few months, AND HE WAS FUNNY! Do it.
@ Mark – Thanks for popping in and leaving your comment. I’m glad you’re still pushing strong. 🙂
[…] http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-quit-playing-video-games/ […]
CAM
I don’t know much about you, but what i know is that thanks to you i believe i can kick out of my video-game addiction, and that is more than anyone else ever managed.
For too long i’ve been playing and trying to make myself believe i was doing ok, but the truth is video-games have been hindering my studies, pushing back my social life and not allowing me to pursue the life that I seek.
I’m glad I found this page, It is saved on my favorites and I will definitely change, not just for the good of myself but also for those that I love and don’t wish to lose.~
Thank you for sharing your experience, it will make a difference in my life and the very least i can do is say:
Thank you.
Ps. I’m going to dedicate more on studying psychology, and for entertainment and social interaction i’m going to turn to cooking! It probably isn’t the most interactive thing to do but it allows me to escape reality for a while like games did, and if it allows me to bond more with my girlfriend and/or mother and sisters then it can only be a good thing.
Thank you again!
Hey CAM! Thanks so much for this article. A year back, i began playing the game “Minecraft”. You will not believe what i have to say on this story. Every night, from 4-6 Hours, I would play this game instead of homework. I would play mine craft on this guys server and eventually became admin. He lived in a time zone 3 hours behind me. So I would play until he had to go to sleep (Usually around 2 AM my time, and then do all my homework. Eventually, school became too overwhelming for him and he stopped his server. I was so addicted that I went to another server only to see the process start again. But there was one thing that kept me from playing full time with the new server and thats the fact that I felt so loyal to my own server and it did’nt seem like any fun. I spent no family time together and every time my mom asked me if i wanted some food or if i needed help, I always said “Im doing homework, no, leave me alone.” Eventually I overcame my minecraft addiction because the other guy stopped it. I guess insted of me playing minecraft, minecraft was controlling me. I Got lazy and decided to play another game and one my other freinds IRL were were playing was Starcraft 2. Im still insanely addicted to startcraft 2 and Im willing to do anything to get off. Gah, its b=only been about 3 months, but I cant let my grades suffer. All day in school, all I think about is corrupters taking down carriers, or new Zerg strategy instead of listening in class. It looks like its gonna be really hard to stop, but im gonna have to find some way to do it. Thanks a lot of this article though, Ill try to follow the steps.
J
Hey CAM! Thanks so much for this article. A year back, i began playing the game “Minecraft”. You will not believe what i have to say on this story. Every night, from 4-6 Hours, I would play this game instead of homework. I would play mine craft on this guys server and eventually became admin. He lived in a time zone 3 hours behind me. So I would play until he had to go to sleep (Usually around 2 AM my time, and then do all my homework. Eventually, school became too overwhelming for him and he stopped his server. I was so addicted that I went to another server only to see the process start again. But there was one thing that kept me from playing full time with the new server and thats the fact that I felt so loyal to my own server and it did’nt seem like any fun. I spent no family time together and every time my mom asked me if i wanted some food or if i needed help, I always said “Im doing homework, no, leave me alone.” Eventually I overcame my minecraft addiction because the other guy stopped it. I guess insted of me playing minecraft, minecraft was controlling me. I Got lazy and decided to play another game and one my other freinds IRL were were playing was Starcraft 2. Im still insanely addicted to startcraft 2 and Im willing to do anything to get off. Gah, its b=only been about 3 months, but I cant let my grades suffer. All day in school, all I think about is corrupters taking down carriers, or new Zerg strategy instead of listening in clasHey CAM! Thanks so much for this article. A year back, i began playing the game “Minecraft”. You will not believe what i have to say on this story. Every night, from 4-6 Hours, I would play this game instead of homework. I would play mine craft on this guys server and eventually became admin. He lived in a time zone 3 hours behind me. So I would play until he had to go to sleep (Usually around 2 AM my time, and then do all my homework. Eventually, school became too overwhelming for him and he stopped his server. I was so addicted that I went to another server only to see the process start again. But there was one thing that kept me from playing full time with the new server and thats the fact that I felt so loyal to my own server and it did’nt seem like any fun. I spent no family time together and every time my mom asked me if i wanted some food or if i needed help, I always said “Im doing homework, no, leave me alone.” Eventually I overcame my minecraft addiction because the other guy stopped it. I guess insted of me playing minecraft, minecraft was controlling me. I Got lazy and decided to play another game and one my other freinds IRL were were playing was Starcraft 2. Im still insanely addicted to startcraft 2 and Im willing to do anything to get off. Gah, its b=only been about 3 months, but I cant let my grades suffer. All day in school, all I think about is corrupters taking down carriers, or new Zerg strategy instead of listening in class. It looks like its gonna be really hard to stop, but im gonna have to find some way to do it. Thanks a lot of this article though, Ill try to follow the steps.
Js. It looks like its gonna be really hard to stop, but im gonna have to find se way to do it. Thanks a lot of this article though, Ill try to follow the steps.
J
@ Bernardo – Hey! Thanks for commenting. I’m super stoked to hear you’ve been able to kick your addiction and move past games. Keep me posted on your progress. I think learning how to cook is a great skill to have. Think about it: EVERYBODY in the world needs to eat, so being a badass cook means you can give value to anybody in the world any time. Pretty valuable right? 🙂
@ Jerry – Thanks for commenting! I definitely relate to you about how strong the addiction can be, but if you follow the steps you will be able to do it. Just look at ALL the comments from guys just like you who have had a big time addiction but been able to quit! You can do it just like them if you want to. Let me know any way I can help you out.
Cam this is a fantastic article. I’ve always been the emotive impulsive type, and I’ve always played games dating back to the NES (even tho i class myself as a casual gamer tho i own alot of games and movies). though I wasn’t an addict, lately at 31, I’m feeling that lately I’m more into games than I was before (forza4 is a prime example), and having a quick fix when im down either buying moves, buying games, was also a problem. Having realised im getting nowhere, and those aspects of the dream girl im crazy about, and ballroom dancing which i took up recently, i was pissed that I was thinking about forza and car specs when i should enjoy something real, like the ballroom dancing and whatnot, and not like just play xbox days on end, and worry about my hobby for only 2 hours a week. great article. soothed me, cos i broke my tv as well (accidentally) after i realised my xbox gaming time/fondness was not ideal. now i left my consoles at my brothers, and i will concentrate on dance, maybe even converse with that girl. Thanks Cam!
ps. i mean i will converse with that girl!
I found this article inspirational. I have tired several times in my life to quit. I even went as far as tossing over $3,000 worth of games in the trash (this was back before everything was digital!), only to rebuild my collection again.
You know why I want to quit? I just want to read. Reading, and furthering knowledge was my favorite thing in all of life to do before Video games. I love and miss it so much, but I just can’t get back to it. I read maybe 5 books a year if I’m lucky. I spend way too much time on video games to read.
I have always wanted to be a writer as well, and guess what…I commit to that either, and I’m afraid that I will never know if I had what it takes; all because of some stupid virtual world I can’t pull myself out of.
Needs to be a way to edit posts. Oh well, first lesson for writing, proof read before you publish! 🙂
@Shaun, I feel for you…Why don’t you try removing your 3d Graphics Card from your PC?
GUYS! Here’s another tip to quit video games for sure, and it actually works!
Let’s start by the obvious: you play video games because it’s the actual only way of having fun in your life. And here it’s said to find other ways of having fun and so on. Yes, this is a great post, excellent even. But, not everyone can do it, and, if you’re too tempted to play video games, well… you just have to beat that temptation out of you.
How to do it will you ask? Here’s the answer: fall in love with a girl. exactly. I mean, falling in love isn’t something you do like BAM, LETS FALL IN LOVE! idk, it’s just a tip that actually works, because you’ll think about her all the time, and games won’t give that feeling you want, and, well, you’ll feel like shit by staying at home friday night. Result: you’ll try to improve yourself to conquer that beloved holy creature, you’ll go out because you feel like shit by staying at home, and you’ll always be thinking about HER, which will prevent you from playing video games, ’cause they’ll be boring for u.
Allright dudes, peace.
@Max- i can agree to some extent. tho you need to be careful as well to a) not look like weird infront of her b) not have your mind go from one obsession to another.
building upon social skills and making yourself attractive to the opposite sex and building upon yourself i(integrity, character, presenting yourself, care, clothes, combing hair, deoderant) is something now im really looking into, of course we can think about a particular special someone-let’s just say dont go overboard either (stalkerish).
@ PTT – Thanks for commenting! It means a lot to me that you found it valuable. Awesome that you have joined ballroom dancing, I think it’s a great activity to join. If you need any help with girls, let me know, I’d be happy to help.
@ Shaun – Thanks for commenting! Reading is a great activity. Will Smith says the 2 secrets to life are running and reading. I need to read more so I definitely relate to you that it can be hard to do, but, it’s only a matter of making time. Glad you found the article inspirational, it means a lot.
@ Max – Thanks for taking the time to leave another tip for other people. I’m actually currently in the process of writing a book on how to quit video games that will expand on the topics I talked about here. I’m excited to release it to everyone! Ironically enough my brother was very addicted to games but when he met a girl he quit. It worked really well.
Hey Cam,
So I’m 13 and looked at 80% of this entire page, and I fully understand what to do to stop my gaming addiction to Halo, however I still need help on one thing: How can I get friends with similar interests? Because my neighbor is my best friend and he is also addicted to Halo, and i’m in eighth grade so there are about 150 kids in the same grade. I am extremely dedicated in Tae-Kwon-Do when other people play football, I have no interest in instruments while other people do, and I’m not very talkative. I only talk at lunch or passing periods with my friends(about 20 in all) and am not good a socializing.
I thought gaming was affecting my grades, but its been 3 weeks and nothing changed. I want to be a engineer doing stuff related to new energy sources. I want to get a good college like Princeton, but even that isn’t enough to motivate me.
Do you think I should continue gaming until high school where my GPA counts or should I try to develop good study habits now? I really think i’m too young to quit playing social games on my Xbox 360 and continue enjoying my video game life just a bit more.
I am glad to see your dedication to this page, it’s also great to see someone reply to other people’s meaningful questions and comments for over a year.
CAM thanks for the reply. as you know i go ballroom dancing twice a week, one hour session each or so. and i see her once a fortnight. she is kinda advanced in dancing, so tho shes not the official teacher, shes more of a mentor guide. she comes in on the dot, and she has to do another dance class, and i feel i should go cos im the beginner.
What advice can you offer?
also meeting that life partner involves networking and expanding horizons. my friends confirmed as theres these audio tapes-esque preaching on ‘finding your partner’ my friend showed me on his ipad. It talked about some previous things like integrity/honesty/listening skills and whatnot. quite good. I have taken a year off from study because i was sick of studying (this is my 3rd qualification in australia) and my friends told me i should do more than just dance, so i’ve decided to learn cooking as well.
One last thing, I had to cut ties with my cousin who is a videogamer addict, and that is a harsh decision i had to make, but we were bad influences on each other.
its good that you set the record straight, that my life is most important compared to other people, tho of course within balance, … and wife and kids are most important!
@ G. Lima – Thanks for commenting! I definitely think developing good study habits now is the best idea! If I could go back and change things about how I approached school growing up I would have developed better study habits earlier in my life. I didn’t finally start working hard until I was like 23!!!
What do you think is the part of socializing you’re most unsure of? Where do you get stuck?
@ PTT – You’re welcome! Definitely expanding your horizons is good.. and cooking is a great way to start that. Remember not to fixate on one girl too much – even though she might be really cool in your eyes – you should still try and meet other girls too. It’s easy to focus too much on ONE girl.
Where do you feel like you get stuck right now with this one girl? Do you talk with her on a regular basis? If not, start there. Catch her before/after class and just initiate a conversation. IT doesn’t have to last long, even 1-2 minutes every time is a good start. The more times you guys have conversations the more open she will become.
Thanks. Just want to spread it out there that people should visit meetup.com which is a place where people of the same interests and hobbies meet up! (I’ve joined it for photography and cooking). (don’t join up for the movie watching one its too weird sitting in the dark with people u don’t know, and def not anything about videogames!) One year break allows me just to go crazy with trying new things.
Yeah i know about the focussing on one girl thing, tell me about it. especially if shes like super dooper; so thats good advice as well. It’s a farcry from me back in the day, and whether its a conservative Asian thing..who knows..
I have spoken to her very little (her dancing shoes was causing pain to her so i asked and showed some care) (which in itsef alot better than absolutely zero.) I dance with her, because she mentors the beginners tho the culture is to obviously concentrate on dance on not “chatting up”. The biggest problem: the culture of concentrating on dance, and the routine, and how amazing she (looks, figure, dancing skill) is that i get nervous, and don’t know what to say. (I don’t look all that bad myself, but i could lose 8 kilos to look better(a by-product of videogames and other factors). Speaking of which, the withdrawal of videogames, has made me ‘need’ to exercise, well walking/jogging a good 5km usually more on a regular basis. So main problem are “skills of dancing, weight” I’m gonna fix my weight problem w more regular exercise and healthier food intake, practising more on Jive/ChaCha. Speaking 1-2 minutes should be quite ok for me so thanks for setting a benchmark.
(I now think I was still a blu-ray/game addict, even tho i sucked at them (comparatively) it didn’t matter, the escapsim of reality, and social life reduction and a reduction of other hobbies was there). For those who don’t know if they are or not-Dont stress/obsess too much whether you are or not, it’s just a word at the end of the day. Just seek advice from CAM!) I spoke to two friends I haven’t seen in years and I had the most fun talking about these issues (attracting girls / socialising and whatnot).
Thanks a tonne, What you are doing is amazing. If only you could expand your services of videogame addiction advice somehow…If the Virtual Reality headset (Oculos Rift?) side of things takes hold, and just natural progression of graphics (new videogame consoles/PC) then I can only see an exponential number of addicts out there). I’m glad I’m just old enough to stop at a good time! I feel sorry for the younger generation who would struggle alot more and need to find balance sooner or will be sucked in. Breaking my $1800 AUD Samsung 1080p was the best thing that happened to me.
Hey Cam, thanks for responding to my comment. I do appreciate it.
Teaching in South Korea can be worth it for young people. It’s a great way to save money, and meet new people. For me, teaching abroad has given me confidence that I never had before. I don’t have to pay for rent, and I don’t have car payments and insurance to worry about. I also got $2,000 for completing my one year contract. Also, my school paid for the plane ticket to South Korea, and when I depart for home they will take care of that as well.
I am in a rural area of South Korea, so it’s not that exciting. I am not in Seoul. If you are looking to save money I would stay out of the Seoul. It’s too expensive and you can easily spend your entire paycheck in one month. Plus, people tend to party a lot in Seoul. I am over the party scene so it doesn’t bother me too much, but for the younger guys this can be a huge issue. You really do need self control, and how many 23 year old guys have it?
Your experience in South Korea is going to depend entirely on your experience at your work. There are two main type of schools. Hagwons and public. Public schools are the safest route. People wanting to go directly this route need to sign up thru Epic. I work at a hagwon. They are private schools. This type of educational institution can be either hit or miss. There are really good hagwons and there are really bad ones. People need to pick carefully and they need to research their school. I work at a decent hagwon but my hours are a bit much. I normally work 10 hour days. I know someone who only teaches for 6 hours and he gets paid just as much as me.
I just wanted to briefly touch on gaming. I do believe that people can play video games and have productive lives. The important ting to remember is if you are going to still game you need to schedule it in your daily calendar. For instance, if I wanted to play Call of Duty for an hour I would schedule it in, and when the hour was up I would turn my system off. Forget the just another 30 minutes attitude, because we all know where this leads. Also, this is where self control comes in. Second, I would only play FPS and sport games. I would stay the hell away from RPGs and MMORPGs. You need to devote too much time. With a FPS single player game I can play for an hour and that’s it. Try to do that with World of Warcraft.
Time is the only commodity that you can’t get back. It’s a precious resource that should be cherished, because once it is gone that’s it. I really feel bad for people who have sunk in 2,000 plus on games like World of Warcraft. Only to one day wake up, look around and realize too late that the best part of their life is over. To wake up and realize that it really is game over.
@Ben- i really do believe time is precious- haha prime example time it more precious than my LED TV that i accidentally broke. sure if it was rationale enough i should have given my TV away or sell it before accidentally breaking it. as soon as it broke tho, i notice i eat less, and need to exercise more, and my insomnia problem has vastly umproved.
@ PTT – Meetup.com is a great site! Thank you for sharing. I’ve known about the site but I hadn’t been recommending it. I’ll be expanding on the topic of video game addiction a lot more in my upcoming book. I’m excited to get the book out there! Also, I did receive your emails and will reply today.
@ Ben – Thanks for following up. Teaching in SOuth Korea sounds like quite the experience. I’m even going to consider it myself. I think it could be great! Thanks for expanding on it. I definitely agree with your approach to scheduling your time, this has made a big difference in my life.
@cam- still waiting on your reply, your replies are quite insightful that’s all 🙂 theres a ballroom special event- going to that..
my videogame cousin (and i) have been recently trading insults, sad, but i still think if this is how its going to have to eventuate then so be it. think of the two swear words that starts with ‘f’ ; and the other swear words that starts with ‘c’ and ends with ‘t’. it is quite awful, and i believe its that extreme attachment we have as friends previously. hope to get your e-mail soon CAM.
let it be stated that he swore constantly before i couldn’t take it anymore. sad.
Wow. Awesome,I actually stoped playing today Im still have that iching feeling to play a little but I did throw everything out so take that mind.I did write a few rap songs and I played one or two for my friends and they loved it so I think Im gonna take life a little more seriously now and just put this (no)life behind me for good!
yes removing ‘STEAM’, removing equipment-consoles, 3d cards, tv’s, and not socialising with friends who are avid gamers, are a good means..i think the latter is especially hard because well they are human.
Hey Cam,
You wanted to ask me something about 20 days ago, and you told me to e-mail you.
So I did, and in case you haven’t seen the e-mail yet, I am reminding you 😛
Hey Cam,
yeah same, my email is
tpat@deakin.edu.au
PTT.
@ PTT – it’s coming tomorrow. sorry for the wait. been travelling.
@ Kerim Dzindo – Thanks for the comment! I’m really glad you enjoyed the post. Taking life more seriously is exactly what you should do. it helps a lot. Look at life as the ultimate video game 🙂
@ Bogdan – I got your e-mail thank you. Will respond tomorrow.
Hey, Cam I stumbled across this website somehow and immediately got interested. I recently got a job where there literally teaching me how to better and easier talk to people and be more confident since I have to teach people on a daily basis. So a lot of this has a great relevance and I’ll be working on reading through this as much as I can the next few days.
However I have a question. I wouldn’t say I play video games as much as you or some others have. There was a time when I was younger when I was addicted to runescape. And I was addicted to mw2. And now my friends have been playing League of Legends which I had kinda quit till they started again. The problem is the game is an ESport and watching the championships makes me want to play that much more but I know its dumb. I generally don’t play so much that I’m doing nothing else where I’m foregoing hanging out with friends so I can play video games-in fact a lot of the times my friends and I all play at night and skype eachother. But I have like 2 hours here, maybe 2 hours after I get home from work late at night and I don’t really know what else to do that’s as enjoyable. I have passions. Something called tricking but I have to have good weather or be in a gym for that. I used to play basketball a LOT- same situation. A lot of my favorite hobbies require a bit of time and for certain conditions. So when its 11 at night what else can I fill in my time with instead of playing …? Thanks for the article it’s great.
Hi Cam
I just finished reading your article and I am very impressed on your advice. Everything you have mentioned and stated is correct. Somewhere about a month ago (September 4th) I was forced by my parents to stop playing a video game known as “League of Legends”. This really sucked for me because this was what all my friends were playing and I felt excluded. For a few weeks I fell into a depression which eventually led to me making bashful and hasty decisions. My parents were EXTREMELY strict about me not playing. It would seem like no matter what I did they would just not let me play at all. I even suggested to them to only let me play on Fridays, but they refused because they wanted me to stop cold turkey. Somewhere deep down though,I am somewhat grateful. I never had a problem in school however. In fact all my marks were in the high 80’s and 90’s and I am an honors student at my high school. Anyways back to the story.
Right now I really don’t care about playing video games because all I really wanted to do was hang out with my friends and feel social. Playing League was obviously something that my parents didnt like but I LOVED it and it was so much fun to play with my friends and talk on skype at the same time (it filled the social gap). My friends though are confused as to why my parents have told me to stop playing even after I have told them countless times “I dont know why they have told me to but they are super strict about it and I can’t persuade/fight them about it”. I have asked them if they wanted to do other activites with me (watch a movie, go outside, etc..) but alas it seems as if when I do they are too busy playing League with each other and hearing this just makes me want to play League again.
Btw, I was also wondering if playing Minecraft with my friends was alright too because the way I see it, Minecraft is an imaginative world where you can do anything and create anything which helps the mind in creative ways. This could also be a fun past-time to talk and enjoy with my friends.
Anyways my whole point of this comment was to ask you if theres anyway I can get back to enjoying time with my friends and having fun at the same time?
P.S my friends are very passionate about League and will not stop playing it no matter what 🙁
Hey Jacob. Thanks for commenting! Sounds like your job is awesome. What is it? I think reading would be a good option… I find most of us don’t read nearly as much as we should and reading is a great way to increase our intelligence. Meditation could be a great addition to your life as well. Maybe a mix of reading + meditation and then some relaxing? I really enjoy watching videos on TED.com and sites similar that push me to the next level.
@ Fred – Thanks for checking out the article. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I definitely relate to you with your parents making you stop. I had the same thing happen during my teen years. I resented them for a long time because of it too… but looking back I can see why they did it.
I definitely think focusing more on doing other activities with your friends is the best answer to give. Now… if your friends are unwilling to do other activities with you… the simple answer would be to find a new group of friends.
One of our core concepts at Kingpin Social is that you’re a product of your environment. Your environment (your friends) influence you in every way. You either shape it or it shapes you. So if your group of friends consists of people who sit around all day playing video games… what are you going to become? Someone who sits around all day playing video games.
The easiest answer is to think about what you want to become… then surround yourself by people doing it. There’s a great video blog on this topic by Mikey B here: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/environment-win-fail/
Hope that helps!
Actually I’m a ballroom dance instructor. Kinda of a long story but I’m currently in training and I really didn’t know how hard socializing with strangers can be. I’ve always been slightly shy so it’s been interesting experience. I actually read quite a bit. It can be kind of expensive though lol. Don’t get me wrong, I read some of these stories and I’m not that bad. I play basketball, trick, get good grades, have a job, read, all sorts of things. I’ll check out that site though. I’m surprised you respond so fast to so many comments.
I really like what you guys are usually up too. Such clever work and
reporting! Keep up the great works guys I’ve added you guys to blogroll.
@ Jacob – That’s awesome that you’re a ballroom dance instructor. Sounds like things are decent for you. Definitely check out some of the other articles.
@ Tempe – Thanks for commenting! It means a lot that you value what we’re doing.
First of all, thank you so much for spending your time sharing the knowledge you gained with your own experience. Second, congrats because this is a brilliant analysis of how a gamer’s addiction works. I had never done such a deep thinking about the matter, even though I was experiencing the same symptoms as you described.
Below I will shortly share my experience. I don’t think that I have been a hard gamer, but I’ve been spending my hours 🙂
The games that have made me feel addicted are some browser games, real-time strategy games and shooters. The browser games are specially dangerous because you can easily end up spending more money than you do with the others, it all depends on your addition and if you really get obsessed about “progressing”.
I think that not everybody has the same potential to be an addicted gamer, and this potential depends on your need to prove that you can be good, better than the rest, your need to see a visible progress, to be respected by a virtual society of “friends” who just share a common interest of playing the same game as you do. All that is what I experienced and what I needed. In fact, it’s been easier for me to quit games after some setbacks, like being owned by another player, or noticing that I had not improved in a long time and I was never going to be a specially good player. But in those games where I had been one of the best, it’s been REALLY hard to quit, and as you said, it had to be done cold turkey. That happened to me in one of the browser games I was playing, I had already spent some money I had a great empire meticulously built, and I was actually fighting everyday to keep this advantage over my enemies like if it were a job. It was even worse if we consider that these browser games are played all over the world and anything can happen in the middle of the night while you’re sleeping, you can be attacked by your enemies, this my friends, this is HELL, it absolutely interferes in your life until a point that even I, being addicted, noticed it. When I had to quit (if I wanted to have my own life instead of being a slave), I started thinking about all what I had achieved, my “friends” who “needed” me, which make that decision really hard and took me more than one try.
Lately, I’ve been playing almost everyday to a shooter, especially with a modification who make possible to set record scores, record times in “capture the flag” games, etc. This records thing has been another of my weaknesses, I always felt this feeling of being the fastest or best player highly satisfactory. After years playing, I ended up feeling satisfactory even to see other skilled people playing as an spectator, and have been happy doing this, just looking at the screen, chat with the other spectators, and doing nothing else during hours in the night. But lately, I have always felt a bitter regret when I turned off my computer and went to sleep, knowing that the next day I would either get up late or be sleepy.
Nowadays, I stopped playing by uninstalling the game, I am also living abroad while finishing my studies, but I still feel the need to be there with my gaming acquaintances. Yesterday I started installing the game, convincing myself that it would be just like watching a film sometimes, and that I could control it, but I know it’s not like that so… I aborted it. It would take a lot of my time, and probably satisfy my social needs, so it wouldn’t really help me to meet new people here. (This little crisis made me find your amazing article, so… bless it!)
I’ve always wanted to do many different things, writing, learning to play a musical instrument, travelling… and somehow I feel that all these things haven’t been done because of my uncontrollable desire to play and to feel this deceitful comfort with your gaming social life. However, I also had good times with the video games, and I think that apart from the video games which caused me these addictions (repetitiveness which can’t teach you anything), other adventure games have greatly improved my imagination during my childhood.
Now I would like to ask you, do you ever feel regret about what could you have done?
Thanks again! 😉
I just read back a few of the things and realized PTT is going for ballroom classes and likes one of the girls. I can maybe give a little insight into that. If she’s good at dancing it means she’s into it. She started right where you are. Try talking to her about how she got better, things she did to learn a particular pattern or get a style right. And honestly just try and learn to dance more. Do it for yourself of course you obviously enjoy it, but also try to impress her. That sounds bad sometimes but its not really. People who like dancing like others who can dance well. to repreat its ok to learn something to impress people but you have to enjoy it yourself too which it sounds like you do. Then you guys will have common ground. If she starts to see you progressing faster it helps her notice you. Other than that just have fun, get to know her, but like Cam said don’t focus too much on her. The best way to get out of addiction is to find something your passionate about. Dance or cooking can definitely fill that role
Hello I’m 19 years old and I could go on about my video gaming history so I will sum it up in two words “Competitive Gaming” that is what kept me going. Anyways as of today 10/12/12 I have took my Xbox and stored it away in my closet. I want to actually start my life and improve my life in every aspect possible. My management teacher told me today “You never grow or develop if you aren’t put out your comfort zone.” That made me think that I’m not growing because I’m in my comfort zone(video games)24/7. My skill in video games is ridiculous that makes me think that if I find a talent that actually has a meaning in life that I can do big things!
Love this article by the way,
Going cold turkey wish my luck,
Mike
Really great article,
I used pc gaming for escapism, to get away from reality as i grew up, still play them now but very tame like. I naturally got off playing so much without thinking due to a life change a few years ago and now its just casual, still have a social life style !
Though a childhood friend of mine worrys me,
he literally does nothing else. He never talks to any of his friends any more, even me and I’ve known him on birth.. If we ever do talk its on Steam instant messenger when i send him the odd message but its only ever game related otherwise he wont respond.
The worst part about all this though is that he rarely EVER playes MP games, or even Co Op. For example,
Borderlands 2 recently came out, hes amassed nearly 200 hours in the past 2 weeks.
I dont own B.Lands 2 but we had played B. Lands 1 together, and when we did we would play for an hour, then pretend he had ‘things to do’ then go on steams ‘offline mode’ and continue playing single player.. (you can tell by clicking on a games steam profile and it shows you which friends own it and if they’re online or not).
Its gotten to the point, this second where i had to do some google searching on it, I came across this, I almost 100% give up on him.
He is completely fucking oblivious as to how its effected his friendships, he is just so exited to talk about a game and just leads me to believe he is completely un aware of his problem..
Its not even the social side of it like i mentioned..
Such a sad case.
Thanks Jacob for the advice. I was surprised somebody other from the KingPin Social team would give me advice, so Kudos for that 😀
Sometimes i can get extremely moody so jogging and practising dance in my backyard helps. and yes dance is also for self-improvement, and the advice was really good.
I was watching this video the other night and i thought it was also good..in that maybe i should be overly thinking of what i should say, and have faith the things will eventuate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oVSfdzrflc
(and if not, sigh, it aint the end of the world) lol.
i was a bit moody last night so i started this 10 year old game called star wars battlefront 2 on PC, luckily i didn’t uninstall thinking it wont be addictive, after 20 seconds i quit, because it was so boring, and monotonous…(thank goodness i uninstalled Counterstrike Source).
I stopped playing video games because of basketball, but i got injured, i got nothing better to do so I always think about playing videogames… help?
well, that was a nice article. A real analysis of why we like, or liked videogames so much…
I always knew that videogames were fun, but I was hiding from myself the truth… i was a total loner, and i wasnt making progress in life.
i played this game, back in 2011, League of Legends, I like ninjas and teleporting, of course, the expressions of power were atrracting, with Karthus I could kill five people at once, universal range, kassadin, he *blinks* riftwalks, and Shen is a ninja!
Yeah, i know that sounds tempting, but its all crap food for your joy gut.
what you put in, is what you get, play lots of games, youre a gamer, play even more, read guides, take classes….on gaming, you may be a pro gamer….
WOW GJ! you gamer, you’re on top of the world, you can actually fly…no, literally you can fly, and shot lazers out of your mouth when you say, “trololol”…
no, you cant, being at the top of the gaming world…okay, lets just say i was, what then? Is the job to just stay at the top? effortlessly? no, there are others and i must crush them, familiar? yeah, the desire to rule! to conquer all, to be King!
warning!
Warning, I believe in God. If anyone is going to bash this, go ahead, the bible speaks of you, and if anyone has questions email me at yellowjacketninja@gmail.com
Well, let me tell you this, being the most pro gamer in the universe means absolutly nothing becuase you and I and all of the world will die, even sooner maybe if we sat at a computer screen for over half a day while we were young.
we will die, count on it, i know people who have died, personally, and im going to pass away from this earth too…and there will be no videogames in hell if you’re going there, for future residents of hell maybe you’ll just be the blue blinking ghosts from pacman for all eternity, with no pacman to eat, or any fruit or pacdots…i cant imagine those four eating anything but pacman…but you’d just be blue blinking ghosts, except, on fire, and it hurts, and it sucks….how about no social life either, you got your sections walled off, no progression, no fun, just crap. Crap…. and what sucks more is that your eternally stuck in a box similar to the one the ghosts comefrom in pacman, and it really sucks. Evil deserves that.
so we’ll die, this is the real issue.
Not just in the videogame world of warcrap, lol, or LoL, but in the real world.
Do you seriously want your legacy, if you want one, be,”he was the best videogame player in the ehole wide world, ever” if you care about a legacy that is…i dont.
Who thinks, “when i die i want to be remembered and praised among all for all i did, being the greastest guy ever” well good luck on thay champ, first step, getting rid of evil….oh wait, i was thinking of videogames again, thats not going to happen on our part.
I’ll tell you this, if youre like me and you’ve realized its all crap, lol, you begin to ponder on death… I became an occultist, looking into Satan, and witchcraft…for a time, power and glory was something i craved. Im pretty sure i got a girl to like me from an ancient occult practice, i dont reccomend trying it but for the sake of truth, i did for a long period of time in my life, wish upon stars, and make wishes afters blowing out candles on a special day.
In a different area of my life, I got really twisted, and got my highs from porn, and more crap. I started that stuff when I was 13, it put a seed of wickedness in my heart, it twisted me. Videogames were the solution, lol, I can imagine some of the athiests here saying porn was thier solution to their videogame addiction. Anyways, I was still craving more and more, always hungry and thristy for whatever the world had to offer.
Then i got on omegle…social, right…asl?
So, it hit me, im not awesome, im poor, i suck, im a loser, what the hell am i doing here? Jesus Christ(used as an explitive)……Jesus Christ?(really?)….well someone had to have made all of this, or did it all start out of nothing and the laws of logic were not transendent, and there is no hell, no heaven, nothing but what we see and feel… You could tell me this, “hey Brandon, you were, or still are a loser, so you made up your imaginary friend Jesus, to get you up into shape. Stupid christian, there is no magic bearded white guy in da sky on your side, you’re still alone, still a loser, still nothing but a body, no soul, those dont exist, and we crave stuff becuase its in our DNA to want. You know what, you’re better off looking at dirty pics and playing LoL, hey you could go out and fornicate if you wanted, you got money, you dont look too bad. Just remeber, you can have all the fun the want, just ignore the part of you that says no to fun, that says no to the desires of the world.” (thats is what Satan sounds like, but he’s trickier than that, this is too obvious, he is a perverse character though)
What shall I say?
I shall say no to sin, and have my faith in Jesus, The one who was brutally beaten, the one who died for me, the Lord my God.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his names sake, ye though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for he is with me, his rod and his staff, they comfort me, he prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies… surely goodnees and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and i will dwell in the house of the Lord all of my days…
He is my Lord, is he your Lord?
Im 19 years old, i was a lust addict, a video game addict, and im only a loner in my mind when i stumble, but Jesus is always there. If you are reading this now, there are about 2 or a few things you may think….
one, this guy is nuts
two, this guy is crazy
three, i like spoons
four, interesting points but your sob slash self help story is futile, there is no Jesus who died for your sins so you could go to heaven (i put the detail ther on purpose)
five, Allah Akbar, Isa was a prophet only, i get into heaven by good deeds
six, wait, this writer started watching crap at what age, im sure thats considered self child abuse…(this guy is seeing the moral problem)
seven, i think ill look into this Jesus person, i went through some similar stuff, this might be good
Now here ‘s the part where im going to be mean,
sinner,
you deserve hell,
what can you possibly do, you who are evil, to make things right?
A judge judges the bad you’ve done to sentence you to death. He takes no consideration of the money you donated to charity on christmas when you are being tried for crimes against God.
So what can you do? Receive faith, be born again…..opps, lol, what can you do is the WRONG question…rather what must happen? *receive* faith, and be born again, do you climb back nto he womb and out? no…eww
This saving thing is done by God alone, by His power alone, may you believe in the Truth, Amen.
I’m back I relapsed I was playing gta 4 yesterday night but now I’m not going play no more I’m going to release a song on youtube called intellectual 2012 look for it cam and everybody
@Oznerol- can you think of other hobbies that you can do whilst being injured? (tennis/table tennis/cooking/socialising/jogging?).. Will the injury heal back so you can play bball in the future? .. do you need surgery…a friend of mine can play netball once in a while while tearing his ACL after surgery.
@Brandon- I’m not here to bash or criticise. I have been to Church many times. IMO having a religion has little to do with videogames. many of my Christian friends happily play videogames. A pastor i once talked to, said there’s nothing wrong with games, and he has a wii at his house for people(he invites) to play.
@Stevie – nothing to be ashamed about, if relapse. do you want to uninstall GTA4 tho..?
i tend to only have stupid games installed on my pc. if i feel moody i learned to go out and jog (i have a picture on my door in my bedroom of my running to remind myself).
@Jacob- its really good to know a fellow ballroom dancer, though you are probably on the other side of the world. I know how hard socialising can be and only in my late 20’s and very early 30’s (im 31 now) have i been able to socialise adequately. so yeah you are not the only one. high school and university, i was very quiet. Now many of my friends are married or overseas. i have found meetup.com to be quite good for this reason (go for the youth, professional ones). it keeps you out of your comfort zone, so I need to talk (to both genders/some dudes just talk to the girls which is alittle obvious), and you see how some people can talk alot (and to the girls) and can hold a conversation more, just because they have a knack of maintaining interest in conversation. what i observed is that he is able to connect by hobbies, life experiences and relate to women on a slightly more emotional level, like saying how his emotions were when he works as a telemarketer. its something i have to build up as well, but we have a wonderful start already because we both enjoy dance, though yeah i’m a beginner at dance but i love it. ive taken your advice that you gave me, and im practising chacha and jive in my backyard.
book are still alot cheaper than a game (by product) and theres the library. audio-cd novels are not bad either..but its really hard to finish a book, i tend to lose interest. im gonna make sure i finish my education (primary school) qualification and find a job soon! good luck yourself.
I would count yourself lucky that you have that much control over yourself. I’m 37. I’m married to a wife who has learned to hate video games with everyone ounce of her being. I’ve been playing video games since I was 16… I use to do other things, I met her, I was a social person. Married her. Then I had to move away because at the time I was in the navy. She couldn’t move because she was a student. I ended up in the ass end of Texas, place called ingleside. It had nothing to do, at all. It was a half and hour drive to the nearest town and there wasn’t much to do there either. Then Ultimia Online came out… played it every hour I could. I even got my wife to log in so we could be together. A year later I moved back and I was out of the military. Still playing UO , I attempted school. I moved on from UO to many MMO games. I’ve played them all at least once, years and years pasted. Now I have 2 kids, my son has my addiction at 7. We play together and its fun,but we don’t do anything else. I’ve forgotten how to be social, how to do anything else. I use to enjoy a lot of things. Minecraft is my newest game and league of legends. I’ve never finished school because I dropped out, no time , had to play. Now I’m almost done with my degree, I’ve managed to cut down but I still MUST play. I’m a old man now, this is a sad thing to see.
Even though in later comments you clarify that gaming is ok as long as you don’t let it take over your life, your initial article doesn’t say that, just tells people how to quit and generally has a negative attitude towards games and gaming. You also heavily imply that other hobbies are just better than games – why so? You frequently mention sports as a replacement for gaming, but can’t sport take over your life e.g. if you spend so much time invested in sports that you lag behind at university? Of course gaming by its nature is more addictive but as long as you can control yourself and make sure it doesn’t take over your life, there should be no problem, and perhaps you should probably amend your original post to make this point clear. Even if you play games a lot, what’s wrong with that as long as, again, you don’t overdo it? You can play games with friends so you can still socialize while playing, some games give you the opportunity to learn new things, some games stimulate the mind to varying degrees, some games have amazing stories that rival the best books and films, some games discuss, directly or indirectly, complex issues (MGS4 on war, for example). Spending 10 hours a day playing the same game without friends or experiencing any of the above can obviously take away from the rest of your life, but barring such an extreme example, nothing wrong with playing games a lot regularly as long as you meet people, socialize with them, develop as a person and still experience other things that life has to offer.
My point is that games themselves aren’t necessarily bad, it’s how much we play them, with whom we play them, and what type of games we play. Different hobbies bring different things to the table – sports e.g. football allow you to exercise and socialize with others, but don’t really involve the mind. Mental sports e.g. chess is the other way round. Reading can stimulate the mind on various topics, be an amazing story which you can relate to or take valuable lessons from, any many other things. Movies can also show amazing stories but in a different format, the same with comics and webcomics. There are a host of other hobbies that I could mention but I think you get the point. Gaming can stimulate the mind, present an amazing story, allow you to socialize with others if you play with them, and/or just be fun, though you can’t exercise while gaming (I suppose something like WiiFit is an exception but then you don’t get any of the other benefits). As such you can mix hobbies e.g. gaming and sports, gaming, movies and sports, movies and sports (not saying everyone has to game) to get the best of everything. To encourage people to totally quit implies that gaming is entirely bad (even though you amend yourself in later comments), whereas gaming can be a perfectly fulfilling and good hobby as long as it’s done right, like any other.
(sorry for the double post)
“The issue I have with playing video games is that it doesn’t encourage growth. You can play hours and hours and hours of video games all you want, but at the end of it, you will still be the same person you were. Instead if you spent the time you were playing video games doing something else to grow, by the end of all those hours you’d have spent playing video games, you could actually be in a much better position in your life, giving you many more options.” I disagree with this comment, as I’ve said already games can do more than just entertain, and even if all they did was entertain, a lot of the other hobbies you mentioned could be argued as the same, take most sports for example, sure you can socialize, develop teamwork skills and exercise, but you don’t really work on your mental aptitude and don’t grow in that respect. Video games can also change lives, you can meet new people, real-life friends have met via video games, so have couples, etc. I could go on but I think I’ve made my point clear.
“The post isn’t to tell people to stop playing games (although, I do think it’s a good thing)” Please explain to me why, as this comment implies, is it always good to stop play games, even if they haven’t taken over your life.
You generally contradict yourself a lot in your post-article comments. You state several times how gaming in moderation is ok, can be fulfilling etc. despite the above comment. You also congratulate anyone who’s quitting playing games, though they may not have been addicted/it may have not taken over their life/may have been fulfilling to them in a number of ways and perhaps they stumbled on your article (as I did whilst searching for a different thing) and were convinced wrongly that they had a non-existent problem, and that gaming is inherently bad.
You also congratulate anyone who picks up a replacement hobby/hobbies instead of gaming, without warning them to not let that take over their life – it’s like you think gaming is just worse than other hobbies and/or you can’t get addicted to other hobbies and/or if you do it’s not bad as how being addicted to video games is (I fail to see how spending all your time on any one hobby is not just as bad as spending all your time on video games if it takes away from meeting others, experiencing everything life has to offer and developing as a person). It just seems you have an inherent bias against video games because of your own experience, whereas others CAN get it right, as I’ve said before, without taking a black-and-white approach to gaming.
I’m really sorry for two really long posts in a row but when I stumbled across this article it just caught my attention, I’ve heard a lot of times people unfarily criticising games (though I understand that that’s not what you’re trying to do from your later posts your older posts and orginal article give that tone) after all there’s a general bias against games e.g in the media, how violent video games are talked about in a bad light far more than equally violent and sometimes even more violent movies, for example.
personally i prefer to have hobbies compared to videogames, because a videogame itself is a elctronic representation of something, take forza the driving game which was my addiction. am i really driving a ferrari 360 modena, and putting vinyls on it? no…
im not here to tell people to never play the odd game (i have some installed on pc-just not the addictive ones)…
when i ballroom dance, i know when im dancing with a girl, or when im socialisingof i know its true and real (and even tho it aint as exciting as driving a ferrari and break neck speeds- at the end of the day i feel im doing my brain, and spiritual, and mental side of things justice knowing that im spending my time on something that is physically real.
I understand where you are coming from ak, but thats my personal reason why i dont play games much at all now. Many of the people are regretting or can forsee themselves regretting with their videogame habits. if you cant see yourself regretting videogames-studies, spouse, kids commitments, time for other things, you have a point. (i played gran turismo 1 for 12 hours straight at one point after i finished high school and i had nothing to do and had no commitments- but that was only for 2 days)..so yeah you have a point… i dont think i was adversely affected by it, given the circumstance of having absolutely nothing to do.
the article seems to be targetting major addicts tho…and his follow up feedbacks (after understanding each individual’s situation abit more, will always change here and there).
Hey Cam,
Right before stumbling upon this, I had just finished a 2 hour session of Halo, preceded by an hour long session of Left 4 Dead 2, which itself was preceded by 2 hours of a Dragon Ball Z fighting game. During that same time frame I was also already in the process of downloading the new Dishonored game I had just bought this morning.
Less than a year ago, I could still spend hours upon hours in front of the computer screen and still get away with a 3.89 GPA in school, a place on the Junior Varsity Swim Team, and plenty of time for other things I liked to do.
At present time, I’m a sophomore with four C’s and two B’s less than two months into school, and though I hate to admit it, things need to change.
Your article connected with me on every level; it made me realize just how much of my life I was wasting away by spending all my time playing video games. Starting tonight, I swear I’m not going to play video games again for an entire month. I’ve made this promise to myself countless times before, but I just know this time I can do it. I’ve already deleted every single game I have installed on my computer, and tomorrow I’m going to give half my life savings to a trusted friend. If I so much as touch a video game within the next 30 days, he will get to keep all that money. It’s an extreme measure, but I need the motivation.
Tomorrow, I’m also going to go to the library and borrow a couple of novels. I used to love reading, but video games have long since filled up the time I spent on books. It’s been years since I’ve genuinely read outside of school, and it’s high time I got back into the hobby.
Thanks man, you’ve really changed my life.
you gave half your savings! @Matt…give your tv/xbox360/3d card instead…
that’s what i’d do…you’ve already uninstalled the games. do you have loving parents, sibling…give it to them instead? my brother had a friend, who when faced with a dilemma of around two to three thousand dollars or so AUD (an I.T. job introduction bonus), broke up the friendship.
@PTT Haha not so much 2-3 thousand dollars as around $100. I spent the rest of my money on: you guessed it…video games. So really, the stakes aren’t TOO high. We’ve made this type of bet with each other in the past and it’s worked on virtually every occasion, which is why I have every confidence I can succeed this time.
@Matt…haha in that case, that’s fine…
worse comes to worse, bet on your TV! joking, sortof!
@PTT (and Cam of course)
First of all, there are some things you can do in games that you simply can’t do in real life.
Even if video games aren’t physically real, that doesn’t necessarily make them lesser experiences to other hobbies. For example, video games with amazing plots, underneath the often fictional setting of the game, have moral values and/or plot lines with which you can parallel to equivalent real-life situations. Take MGS4 (amazing game) for example, though it is a fictional war setting, it has an underlying anti-war message, and makes you think about whether war is justifiable or not, in what situations etc.
You can also socialize in real life by playing games with you friends in real life, by doing other activites/hobbies with people that you meet through gaming etc. Just as how I mentioned in my old post, different hobbies bring different things to the table.
It shouldn’t matter whether an activity is virtual or physical it’s the meaning attached to the activity and how you can use that activity to gain/train real life skills/learn new things/think about certain issues etc. that matters. Reading a book, comic, magazine etc. can be just as virtual as any game, as all you’re doing is reading words and turning pages just as while gaming you’re pressing a few buttons. But what matters is what you learn from the book, what skills the book teaches you, the plot and how it and/or moral issues and/or dilemmas in the book make you think about parallel real-life situations.
A sport like football may be a physical activity, but is it the physical activity that allows one to grow as a person? Of course exercise is good for maintaining a healthy body, and so some form of sport or physical activity should always be part of everyone’s live just for that, but it’s the teamwork involved, and/or the strategy/tatics involved that make you use your mind, and the people you meet and socialize with and learn from and compete with, leading to self-improvement.
There’s also nothing wrong with wanting to just relax and have fun after an active day – you benefit from reflecting on what you’ve learned/developed on a given day, and some games are good for that. Of course it’s best when you have fun and develop and grow at the same time.
My point is gaming can be real, because even though the medium is virtual you can learn things from games that you can apply to grow and benefit you in the real world. You can socialize in real life whilst playing games, and it can be an avenue for discovering additional hobbies with people you meet through gaming. It can also be a way to simply have fun after an active day, though I do agree that, if possible, to have fun and be developing in some way at all times.
The only time it goes wrong is when people spend so much time playing addictive game which are only meant for fun so as to negatively affect their social life, skill-learning, ability to reflect on important issues, and personal growth.
I’m at University studying medicine, and I do tennis, table tennis, karate, fencing, technology society (which has some gaming in it), want to do sign language, I love reading, going out, have dabbled in comics and manga, I game, and there’s probably some stuff I’ve missed out. It goes to show that gaming can be part of and contribute towards a fulfilling and meaningful life, and that’s my problem with the original post.
He heavily suggests that everyone should just quit gaming as it’s just inferior to other hobbies/activities even though I do understand he clarified in later posts that this article is meant for those who do not play games meaningfully but just play it to procrastinate and have fun, and they do it so much it takes away from the rest of their life, and that gaming isn’t bad as long as it’s in moderation. It just seems that even in his later posts he contradicts himself by saying it’s good to quit gaming at one point, then says there’s nothing wrong with gaming – it’s like he’s changing his opinion on gaming over the past few months. His initial post would be so much improved if amended to adjust for his current opinion, clarifying that this article is aimed for addicts who’ve let it go out of control and not other gamers, and well as emphasizing that gaming can be good as long as it’s done right.
ANOTHER long post I’m really sorry but this topic has just caught my eye.
http://samanthaannewiebe.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/gaming-and-growth-the-right-to-be-nerdy/
Another perspective on this article and the good side of gaming, though I don’t agree that we should have downtime, I would rather grow and have fun at the same time, though of course sometimes you just need to take a break.
I agree with that a lot… games can have more in life lessons then other “acceptable hobbies…” and many topics of discussion are on games nowadays
@ak. my post dated October 14, 2012 at 9:00 pm sort of already agreed with you. I don’t regret playing games in my life at all. (i managed to do well in other aspects of life, to realise certain goals and ambitions).
There have been some games which i was in awe as how videogames can be a great medium of narrative and suspense, and lovely acted dialogue (take heavy rain ps3, and unchartered2.)
you definately have a point with reading fictional novels and if you compare reading to playing a game of unchartered2 with clever dialogue and puzzles even you’d be hardpressed to argue that games are bad for you. its also bad to think we should exchange reading for videogames either-which you’ll probably agree.
what i dont like to see is a person that i know who only likes two things, videogames, and modifying or meeting up with cars and that’s it..and doesn’t want to learn other hobbies.
but just remember carefully crafted games, like counterstrike, WoW, and starcraft really succeeds in maintain gamers to continously play once they started, and for that you need to give credit to CAM.
i played tekken tag2 at my bro’s place, i didn’t see anything bad with that (for 15 minutes)…
alot of cooking, so its all about balance. most of the people who take heed to this article feel they need help with their habits…maybe it should be called “How to stop being addicted to videogames, and how to balance life”.
@PTT (and CAM)
That’s fine then, my point only is that CAM’s original post has far more of a negative attitude to games, and would give the wrong impression to gamers who have a diverse range of hobbies included but not limited to gaming, and even those who game a lot but still go outside, exercise, socialise, try other things out etc. I realise he moderates this negativity in later posts but that that may not be clear to someone who just reads the orginal article and doesn’t bother to trawl through the huge number of comments to notice the evolution and clarification of CAM’s stand on this issue and who this article is meant for.
“what i dont like to see is a person that i know who only likes two things, videogames, and modifying or meeting up with cars and that’s it..and doesn’t want to learn other hobbies.” This is fine as well, except this could apply to liking any hobby to the exclusion of all else – and that’s what initially annoyed me about this post. CAM seemed to imply to me that just having gaming as your hobby/passion is bad, whereas just having *insert any other hobby here* such as him DJing (which really sounds cool have to try it some time) is fine as long as you’re passionate about it. It’s like he views that gaming as a passion is somehow inferior to other passions, and it seemed to me like this bias stems from his previous experience with games and how they stopped him from pursuing what he really enjoyed and found fulfilling.
I do agree that diversification with your hobbies is best, as it makes you an all-rounded 3-dimensional being with multiple skills, as well as healthier if you incorporate sport(s) into your life, but I see nothing wrong with having gaming as your main passion or hobby, and his original article give the opposite impression.
I once again understand that his comments later on show that he doesn’t believe this and that he doesn’t view gaming so badly – but my problem is with the original post.
Wow. Thank you everybody for all the comments. It means a lot to me that you all take time out of your day to discuss this important topic in the comment. Thank you also to everybody who is helping others by replying to their comments.
I’ll do my best to reply to all the unanswered questions. If I missed yours please respond with it again.
@ Wired – Sometimes I’ve felt regret but now I really try to focus on just going after the things I want to do the most. Think about Felix Baumgartner. He had a dream to skydive from space. He didn’t sit around playing video games wishing it could happen, he went out there and made it happen. He met the right people who could help and worked towards the goal. If he sat around and didn’t do anything I’m sure he would have regretting it. Go after the things you want.
@ Jacob – Good advice. Finding out what people enjoy about activities they enjoy is a great way to start building a relationship with them. Thanks for helping out.
@ Gotta start livin – Congrats! You can do it. Let me know if you need any more help.
@ T – People can’t change until they decide they need to change. But you also don’t need to surround yourself by people who aren’t motivated to do things with their life. Check out this video blog on the subject: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/environment-win-fail/
@ PTT – you’re the man. I’m responding to your email right after these comments are done!
@ Oznerol – You need to find some other activities to do instead. Read through the comments, there’s lots of ideas (learning a language, reading, etc)
@ Brandon – Thanks for your input.
@ Stevie – I’ll check that out thanks.
@ Mek86 – It’s never too late to change man. You can do it.
@ Ak – The reason I imply games are a worse activity is simply because that is not only my experience but a vast number of other peoples experience too. That’s not to say you cannot become “addicted” to other activities that impact you negatively… I just haven’t seen it happen often. As an example, my Djing has not been unhealthy in the least.
I also don’t imply that someone *could* play games again because it would be bad timing. They are coming to the article to get away. If they are past their addiction they will be balanced enough to decide whether they want to go back or not. But to tell someone they could play games again (as explained earlier) would be like telling an alcoholic coming out of rehab they can drink again. It would encourage them to do it much sooner than is healthy.
The problem isn’t with the people who don’t over do it. This article is not for them. The article is for the people that can’t help BUT over do it. The thing is… it’s not really an “extreme” example… because there’s 400 comments of this article saying “Wow.. that’s totally me.” Video game addiction is a REAL problem that affects a HUGe number of people and is continuing to grow.
I don’t think it’s unfair criticism. Just look at the comments. This is a real problem.
If you think that sports don’t develop your mental attitude I don’t believe you’ve ever played sports to any quality level. Sports are 90% mental, 10% physical. A common argument is that games can teach you certain skills like other hobbies… and it’s true to a degree, but I believe a very small one. I don’t believe video games teach people nearly as much “life skills” as we would like to logically conclude.
I appreciate your feedback and input… but I feel like you’re arguing a very fine line. Your thoughts are great and not even entirely incorrect, they are just wishful thinking unfortunately. If this problem doesn’t affect you I’m happy, but it’s naive to say it doesn’t affect a massive amount of people who have a REAL video game addiction problem.
My opinion on games hasn’t changed. I think they are a massive waste of time. The only reason my tone changes in the comments is for people like you who are adamant that they want to play games and that’s entirely up to you to decide. I’m not going to judge someone for playing games, it’s their life. But I have been in the same position as each guy commenting saying games have overtaken their life and I have quit. I know my life is way more fulfilling and happier now without games.
@ Matt – Congrats! You can do it. I believe in you. 🙂
@MEK86- i am quite moved at how loving your wife is. my exgf would have stormed out within 2 days, no joke.
I understand if you are in a remote area with nothing to do, it is an environment inductive to videogame habits (take my example of having no friends(well 1) after high school and having nothing to do).
its not too late to change at wouldn’t it be nice to change before you turn 39?
And why not do it for your son? be a good example to him, have limitations. uninstall the addictive games, and only have the basic ones. delete the ultima online profiles. i know it would be hard but it might be a catalyst for better things to come.
think of a hobby you, your son, and wife can enjoy. son-baseball, soccer, wife-dance?
@CAM
Regarding my comments on sports not devloping your mental attitude, I HAVE played sports to a competitive level (fencing), and what I actually said was aptitude, by which I meant mental sharpness, how fast you can process information, etc. rather than the mental qualities that are so vital to sport like determination, willpower, ability to keep calm, belief in onself whilst being honest about one’s own capabilities etc.
Sorry for the confusion there, that was my fault.
People who comment on this site, except for the odd person like myself who stumbled upon this site whilst looking for something else, are of course going to disproportionately represent people who have taken gaming too far, because they would’ve found this site whilst searching for advice to quit, having recognized their problem. Even if this wasn’t the case, 400 people can hardly be said to accurately represent with any reasonable degree of certainty the 100s of millions of gamers that are out there at the moment.
That’s not to say of course that gaming addiction isn’t a real problem, and that when it takes away from your life in the various ways that both you and I have discussed something should clearly be done about it, and I do appreciate what you’re doing by drawing on your own experience to help others in the same or similar situation as you.
You also just stated that you think video games are a massive waste of time, and only shortly after that you wouldn’t judge someone for playing games, and you’ve also stated previously that you wouldn’t think less of them. This is somehwat contradictory, because most people would negatively judge someone they thought to be needlessly wasting time when they could be doing something better.
“The reason I imply games are a worse activity is simply because that is not only my experience but a vast number of other peoples experience too.” The problem here is that your experience and these other people’s experiences are of those who let gaming take over their life or are playing it for the wrong reasons (e.g. to escape from reality, they have nothing better to do, afraid to socialize), NOT of people who’ve managed to incorporate gaming as part of a balanced and varied life where they do meet people, socialize, develop various skills, think about various issues etc. (these events aren’t mutually exclusive, for example playing MGS4 is thought-provoking, it makes you think about war and its various consquences) so to critique gaming based on your and similar people’s experiences doesn’t mean gaming is bad or worse than other hobbies, all it means is that gaming is worse than other hobbies when and ONLY when you let it go to that stage and NOT when you incorporate it into a varied, healthy and fulfilling lifestyle (My Family bought our first console (The PS2) so that we have something fun to do as a family (or more frequently as brothers) even when it’s raining – I fail to see how this, for example, can be construed as bad in any way).THIS is the distinction that you have failed to make, and why your arguments fail to successfully critique gaming but only gaming when it is taken to the level that you once took it.
You may well argue that there are a disproportionately large number of people who have taken it too far with games compared to other hobbies, hence gaming is worse than other hobbies. I have already stated previously that gaming is more addictive than other hobbies, and that can be a big problem. But some games are more addictive than others, so you critique only applies to gaming when such a game is played for too long and for the wrong reasons, rather than playing a good game (e.g. with a good story that makes you think and has parallels with real life – like a book or a movie, for example, except it’s a different medium and you play as well as watch the story) for a reasonable length of time. It can even be an addicting game so long as you don’t let yourself get addicted. It’s not that gaming is always bad, it’s when it’s taken too far.
I do understand that it is such people – the addicts – who this article is aimed for, but your original article doesn’t explicitly state that, and everyone else who comes across the article might take it as a swooping critique of gaming. I’m NOT saying you should tell the addicts they can still play games again quickly in moderation – I completely agree with your arguments regarding this. My point is only that your original article doesn’t explicity state that this article is for the addicts and not those who’ve got it under control – you only do this in later comments – and there’s a LOT of those so most won’t read it.
Finally, throughout your comment you somewhat praise my arguments and thoughts and to some extent acknowledge their legitimacy, and then just dismiss then as wisful thinking, for example, based on your feelings and without offering logical counter-arguments. What this shows me is that because of your gaming experiences and addiction (and other people’s on this webpage), you’ve become biased against gaming, or because your experience involved playing games without many of the possible benefits I mentioned – being made to reflect on relationships or certain issues, for example.
I certainly can’t deny playing a Call of Duty game 8 hours a day alone (or even with friends), isn’t a very healthy or fulfilling way to live your life, as that would certainly take away from other things you could be doing that could help you grow. But I ask you to admit the converse – that there’s nothing wrong with playing Call of Duty or some other game of that nature for a hour or so (or longer as long as you don’t do it too often) with friends to take a break and have fun after an active day doing sports and/or school/uni work and/or some other meaningful activity, or to play something like Heavy Rain for two hours or so, with a great story that can rival a good book and from which you can draw a lot from than just playing a game (you don’t so much play Heavy Rain as experience the story it has to offer anyway)… I think you get the idea.
Let me just say again that I don’t think you’re entirely wrong or anything like that. I do accept that gaming can easily be taken too far by people, and that gaming addiction can be something that can limit people’s potential and take away precious time from their lives that could be spent doing something more fulfilling. I am happy to see someone like you share your own experience and wisdom to help those who are now in a similar position to that you once were. My problem only lies in the fact that you have used the problems associated with gaming addiction (which are real and potentially severe), extrapolated from them, and used them to critique gaming as a whole, even when part of a balanced and fulfilling life, regardless of the type of game played, how much you play, etc. The addictive nature of many games today isn’t a problem with the concept of gaming but with game design, and this problem can be avoided by playing less addictive games (ones with less repetition, for example, or ones that don’t use randomization to keep people striving for certain arbitrary goals, like MMORPGs), or to simply have other things to do – a balanced, varied and fulfilling life – so that you don’t spend too much time playing an addictive game, which you may want to play because it’s good in some way(s) or another, so you don’t get addicted.
Just before I finish up this REALLY long post (really sorry about that just have too much to say, and it doesn’t hurt how fast I can type so I type with no consideration of being concise), I would like to ask you about DJing – how can I go about trying out DJing, how much would it cost, are there formal lessons you can go to, do you just learn informally e.g. at home, do you personally perform live DJ sets? I realize how cheeky I must seem to ask you for help when I’ve just written a mini-essay (or possibly a whole essay) critiquing your critique of games, but I would really appreciate it as it does sound really interesting and a bit different to what activites I’m doing at the moment, as I’m primarily doing sport,academic-related, and language activities, as well as some gaming (and going out of course), but nothing really music orientated.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE-5sm_Iqts
go to time: 6:20
i think this points a picture. this is a guy who wanted to quit WoW totally.
@PTT
If the video link was aimed at me specifically, then I agree with the message the video tries to get out, that gaming is fine – it’s those that have let it take over their lives that have a problem. I already knew about the variable rate of reinforcement, I mentioned it in my last comment: “randomization to keep people striving for certain arbitrary goals, like MMORPGs” – that’s what I meant by this phrase, just had forgotten the technical term for it.
I think the video itself concludes really well. He says how people tend to forget the benefits of games, how fun they can be etc. – I agree with this completely. He also states how he won’t stop his son gaming, but will keep a close eye on him doing so. I agree with this as well, you need to make sure your son/daughter/brother/sister etc. doesn’t spend too much time gaming to the exclusion of all else – I’m faily sure I’ve stated this point before and I’ve never implied otherwise.
Note how even the parents of those affected agree that the vast majority of gamers don’t have a problem, it’s a minority – this doesn’t mean gaming addiction isn’t a real probelm, just that gaming can and is being done right by most.
In any case, thank you for the video think, the video succeeds in pointing out the dangers of video game addiction whilst making sure to make the distinction that it’s perfectly fine to game, as most people are, as part of a balanced and fulfilling life, and that it does have various benefits, and that, of course, it can be great fun.
The video does spend too much time on the negative side of gaming, but considering it’s a video about video game addiction, that’s not hard to understand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5PfZj61X4w&feature=related
I haven’t actually watched it as I have to go to tennis now, but it’s a rebuttal of the above video. Once again, I don’t deny the problem exists.
I cant play any sport right now, I have tried many things, learning to play the keyboard, learning the guitar,etc. but i get bored easily so i tend to lay down in bed and do nothing, so i think about playing video games when i do nothing. The only thing that I really enjoyed was sports and video games and nothing else…
So a blog addict blogs about how playing games is bad for you…The irony…
@Oznerol- long distance walks, study, work to at least break the momentum? cook for yourself?- we all need to eat..maybe ask CAM because it’s his article space.
@AK- I know how it feels when I write a facebook message, and the other person doesn’t reply. So this is my last reply to you, because reading, and choosing which arguments I agree, and which arguments I disagree- say for example I personally trying to support the target audience to quit cold-turkey (the people who probably typed “how to quit videogames”) and also respect the original article author’s perspective and purpose of the article. Eg. Alcoholics need not reminded about a red wine a day is good for you analogy. If in time the alcoholics heal and have a red wine that’s ok, but it’s probably going to take years for that to come about.
I am here to support game addicts with their problems here and there, and their wishes to quit. That’s really about it. It’s too time consuming, and potential confusing for potential game addicts to read anything else.
ps. and choosing which arguments I agree, and which arguments I disagree is time-consuming.
@PTT
I realize that it can be tiresome to read my (very) long posts, dissect them, and tell me what you agree/disagree with, so that’s fine. I also understand that me being here and constantly arguing about the potential merits of gaming and critiquing CAM’s article may be taking away from both your efforts to help gamers addicts who genuinely need help to what I’ve already accepted is a serious issue.
My last few posts though, have been relatively short, and involve me pretty much completely agreeing with you, so I don’t really see what there is to disagree with there. If it’s about the rebuttal video I linked, I still haven’t watched it so it may not represent my views, just thought it might be interesting to link another opinion on the subject. If it’s about my posts before these, then I completely understand.
I’ve never really disagreed with you. I had slightly misunderstood you beforehand, but your post on October 15, 2012 at 8:55 pm clarified your position and I agree with pretty much all you said there. You don’t seem think that videogames are always a waste of time, regardless of how, what, from how long, often, and with whom you play, you accept that games can be more than just fun and an escape from reality, and you also promote the idea that people should have a varied and fulfilling lifestyle, not one where they spend all their time doing one thing to the exclusion of all else, such as video games.
My only problem is that CAM extrapolates the arguments he has against video gaming addiction and uses them to critique gaming as a whole, but once again, I understand this article is not for the ones who’ve got things under their control, but for the addicts.
Whether you reply to this post or not is not a big concern to me, as I respect your stance on the issue, respect what you’re trying to do in conjuction with CAM here, and you have made the distinction between video game addiction and gaming in general. As such we have nothing more to discuss/argue about on this issue.
Good luck trying to help those who are addicted, have a great day, and a varied, balanced, fulfilling and enjoyable life, whether you game a lot, a bit, none at all, you juggle, fence, join the circus, the police force, or anything at all (that’s morally good of course).
@PTT
Thanks for posting that video. I am teaching in South Korea and I see kids like that everyday. In Korea they have internet cafes called norabongs. It’s a place where young Korean males go to game. These places are are all Korea. They are very popular because very few teenagers are allowed to play video games at home. It’s typically school, hagwon, another hagwon and another hagwon before they go home to 2 hours of homework. Repeat and rinse for 6 days. Sunday is normally a light day with only a 3 hour study session. lol…
I have also noticed that instant messaging through KakaoTalk is insanely popular. Also, smartphone gaming has really taken off. I was taking the Seoul subway last year and not one person said a word. Everyone was glued to their smartphones. Taxi and bus drivers will also watch tv while they are driving. Talk about addiction.
@ PTT – Great advice for MEK86. You’re very wise.
@ AK – The line for me is this: who the fuck am I to tell someone HOW to live their life? If they want to play video games all day long that’s up to them. It would only be judgemental for me to consider less of them otherwise. This is a type of attitude I have no interest in embracing into my life.
This is one reason why it was very important for me to preface the article by telling people this is an article for people who WANT to quit but don’t know how. “How” to stop and be successful is the exact context of the article. That’s why further in the comments you will find me saying that balance is fine etc. WHo am I to say otherwise?
My own personal opinion, however, is absolutely that playing video games is a massive waste of time. This is my opinion and my experience. Since the days of playing video games all day until now, my life has drastically improved in every way – including in the amount of fun I have daily. Not playing video games and using that time in wiser ways has been a major influence on that.
In my book I go into the example of how, in todays day and age, playing video games is simply the default activity millions end up into when they want to “have fun”. I do not believe it’s even a very conscious decision anymore. 84 million kids in the USA play video games right now, between the ages of 2 and 17. The FASTEST growing age group amongst those 84 million kids is kids aged 2-5.
A study done in January last year found that 19% of kids aged 2-5 know how to operate a smartphone application… while only 9% know how to tie their own shoes. In the same study it was revealed that more small children (58%) can play a basic computer game than can ride a bike.
So we really think this problem is not going to get WORSE before it gets better?
It would be rather difficult for me to agree with the argument you would like me to, simply because in my opinion there are much better activities to enjoy that achieve the stated outcome you argue for. In addition, I believe playing video games to be a risky endeavour, that can easily turn from “an hour or two” to something more substantial. Of course, this is from my own experience and the experience I have learned of others.
Although playing a game like Heavy Rain may involve a story and rival that of a good book, I have a high degree of doubt that it would also bring forth the many other positive aspects accomplished by reading.
I also have a difficult time agreeing with the argument that video games are an effective way of bringing family relationships closer. Although “effective” would be passable… I would argue about the long-term affects on the relationships when built upon a video game platform, and whether playing video games together truly builds relationships in a sustainable long-term way or whether it’s a short-term solution that falls apart once video games are taken out of the equation.
I appreciate your input and again, do not believe your arguments to be necessarily wrong nor off-base. At the end of the day, I simply believe there are better activities to do for all reasons than video games.
Regarding DJing – you can pickup a program called Virtual DJ that can be fun to play with. The best thing I did personally was buy some cheaper style DJ decks and a 2-channel mixer and start actually DJing. But my initial investment ended up being around $2000. I think you could get started for around $500 if you wanted to (with an all-in-one DJ solution) – Best Buy might have some of these. There are formal lessons you can take in your city I’m sure (if you live in an actual city).
I have performed at house parties and nightclubs. http://soundcloud.com/camerondare has a few of my mixes.
@ Oznerol – What do you enjoy about sports and video games?
@ Honheyon – I’m unsure where your conclusion that I’m a “blog addict” comes from but thanks for checking out the post regardless.
@ Ben – How do you like teaching in South Korea?
i think Honheyon was referring to ak as the blog addict..
@PTT
I doubt it as I wasn’t talking about video games being bad for you, I was suggesting they could be bad or good for you depending on how you handle them, and besides this is one of the first (I’ve commented on a couple before, but not much more that that) ever blogs that I have commented on in my life, so there’s some irony for you.
@CAM
I have repeatedly said that video games is a potentially risky endeavour and that there are clear dangers associated with excessive gaming. There is absolutely no need to tell me that at all.
“The line for me is this: who the fuck am I to tell someone HOW to live their life? If they want to play video games all day long that’s up to them. It would only be judgemental for me to consider less of them otherwise. This is a type of attitude I have no interest in embracing into my life.”
Of course you’re not supposed to prematurely judge people, or judge them based on things you don’t understand – my point merely was that it seems a bit contradictory to judge what someone was doing (in this case gaming) as bad or wasteful, then say that you won’t judge the person doing that activity negatively in any way, and that some may view this as an insincere attempt to appease the gamers that visit this site.
You misunderstood my comment on relationships – all I meant was by viewing in-game relationships which parallel those in real life you can learn something there – a bit like if you read about some relationship in a book. The reason I make this comparison so often is simply because I love books, and have done since childhood.
However, you could replace ‘video games’ in your paragraph about relationships with many other single activities, and the same would apply – this doesn’t directly critique gaming, but just basing a relationship – platonic or romantic – on one thing/activity etc.
Considering how much I read, I am well aware that books have several advantages that games don’t – improved literacy for example, and of course with books you can start reading any section you like (assuming you’re finished it at least once if it’s a story book, for example), whereas with many plot-driven games you can’t. But there are certain advantages to gaming, and gaming doesn’t necessarily take away from activites like reading – read this for example:
http://homeschooling.penelopetrunk.com/2012/07/25/whats-best-video-games-vs-books-vs-kick-the-can/
Though once again, I don’t think anyone should spend all their time gaming.
From what I can see you think that many people who default to gaming for fun don’t actually really have that much fun at all, or they can have more fun with other activities. I can see that, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible, as far more people do, to genuinely have fun whilst playing games, or that it’s bad to ‘just’ have fun in some cases. Say, for example, you’ve read a book, discussing a complex issue (e.g. capitalism vs socialism, private vs public healthcare, the list goes on), has a complex plot, etc. A session of gaming can give you time to part-consciously and part-subconsciously reflect on what you’ve read, giving you time to really digest the information – all whilst having fun. You might say that you could do a sporting activity instead, as you could exercise at the same time, but what if you already have? What if you’re physically tired? Then you could both physically recuperate and reflect at the same time, all whilst having fun! On top of this, you could play with friends and/or family, so that you socialise with those you care about! Can you see why balance and variation is so much better than a policy of complete avoidance?
“My own personal opinion” “This is my opinion and my experience” “I appreciate your input and again, do not believe your arguments to be necessarily wrong nor off-base. At the end of the day, I simply believe there are better activities to do for all reasons than video games.”
I’m sorry, but I’ve already pointed out how your experience is clearly not representative of the average gamer. You spent 6+ hours a day gaming, you were a competitive gamer, you played games to the exclusion of almost all else. Of course once you realised what you were missing by playing so much in such a meaningless way, you were going to be sick of games. Of course once you quit, and found new passions, your life was going to improve drastically and you would have more fun, because you balanced your life, and there was meaning behind everything you did.
However, this doesn’t mean that video games as a whole are a waste of time; you cannot dismiss video gaming as a whole simply because of your own experience, or even the combined experiences of everyone on this blog, because they are not representative of the whole – even if you want to, even if they once ruined your life. This fact has clearly made you biased against video games, and has made you adopt a very black-and-white approach to the whole situation – even though you’ve accepted that there is a middle ground involved, you refuse to consider it as a viable or meaningful option in someone’s life, and this makes sense – after all you’d never go back to video games, after all your bad experiences with them, and you’d be afraid of taking it too far again like you once did.
Furthermore, once again, you’ve accepted that there is some legitimacy to my arguments – and then dismissed them due to your belief that other activities that more worthwhile. Do you see the difference here? I’ve tried to think and present you arguments using logic and, where possible, evidence, whereas you have just dismissed the bulk of my arguments, with one or two exceptions (the relationships bit for example) based on your belief, which has risen from your own bad experiences with video games, which are NOT representative of the whole, so you CANNOT use them to judge video gaming as a whole as bad. I’ve tried not to do this by not mentioning any of my own experiences, which I’m sure aren’t representative of the whole, and using logic, supplemented with evidence where possible, instead. That’s not to say I am not biased, but I’ve tried to discard those biases those biases by using logic. That’s not to say my logic is perfect either, but if you want to say that my arguments are somewhat legitimate but then dismiss them due to your belief at LEAST give me reasons.
You can criticize gaming addiction all you want, and rightly so, because there are very real and serious negative effects, as you know from experiencing them firsthand, ALL im asking is for you to NOT extrapolate your own experiences to criticize gaming as whole, and for you NOT to let your emotions over how they once affected your life to have an overly negative view on gaming as whole.
Once again I’m sorry for the very long post, and I’m sorry for my criticism, considering how much I sympathise with the problems you went through with gaming, how much I genuinely appreciate what you’re trying to do with this blog, and now you’re even given me advice on DJing! I hope you realise my criticism isn’t actually of you as a person but simply of some of your views. I live in London, and so I will probably give the formal lessons a try, and I will definitely pick up the program. From there I will decide whether I should invest more money into DJing.
@ PTT – Oh, haha thanks. Hard to follow along sometimes.
@ AK – For me it’s not contradictory. If you want to know my personal opinion on it, I personally believe that gaming is a waste of time, period. However, it’s not up to me to judge someone for gaming, so if that’s what one wants to do that’s entirely their call. The post is merely for those who want to quit that are unable to, but part of the mindset behind their inability to quit is the disconnection they feel between whether or not games are *good* for them or not. The post shows that although they feel (at the time) like games are good for them, I attempt to show the reasons why they feel this (ie: the 4 pillars gaming fulfills), and that once they fill those pillars their opinion of the productivity of games diminishes. This, however, does not take away from my opinion that if someone wants to game, they can game, because it’s their life and I won’t judge them for it.
I understand your assertion that their are certain advantages to games and know many people who hold a similar viewpoint. I, however, simply disagree with it. I believe “logically” the concept make sense, but disagree in the actual implementation of this type of learning – especially, as discussed before, considering the negative side-effects of playing video games such as it’s contribution to attention problems. http://archive.news.iastate.edu/news/2010/jul/TVVGattention
Here are some other stats for you to consider:
– We spend 3 billion hours a week as a planet playing video games.
– The average young person racks up 10,000 hours of gaming by the age of 21. (If you take the “10,000” hour rule into affect… imagine the difference in outcome with these two scenarios: 10,000 hours put into video games vs. 10,000 hours put into other activities. What outcome do you have with the video game scenario? It takes 10,000 hours to master a skill. What skill is mastered after 10,000 hours put into video games?)
The difference in our arguments is that mine is black or white. If the choice is between playing video games or not, I will definitely choose not. That’s NOT because there isn’t a middle ground, but, as discussed previously, I would never recommend the middle ground – regardless of balance – because my opinion is that the time is better spent in other activities, period (and mainly for the all encompassing reason of: the potential negative side-effects gaming can cause – some of which I believe unavoidable regardless of amount of time spent playing coupled with my belief that gaming is not productive – especially in relation to other activities that accomplish the same result.)
Again, I appreciate your input. The mere difference between us is that I have a belief that gaming is unproductive in all senses of the word, and you believe the other. As stated previously, it would be impossible for me to agree with you simply because of this belief. You may believe this belief comes from my experience playing games, but you’d be wrong.
The main reason for this belief is because I’m an entrepreneur who enjoys the freedom of working for himself. This type of lifestyle compared to the typical 9-5 lifestyle is very different, and my idea of “success” is also different. To be honest, the whole 9-5, come home and hang out for the night to do it all over again is a painful reality for me to consider. The last thing I would recommend someone who lives this lifestyle to do would be to play video games – even for an hour – when there is so much more they could be doing to live a much more fulfilling life. I have a very hard time believing that many living this type of lifestyle are truly “happy”, even if they say they are, because I believe if they had the other kind of lifestyle they would realize how sad the typical life plan “9-5, hang out after work to do it all over again” really is.
I’ve read the whole article and I have to say that the article was amazing. Yet still, I couldn’t find an activity which would fill up my time. Video games are such an essential part in my lifetime that I can’t even think of other activities. And when I can’t think of any activity, I end up playing video games. Video games are spread all over my computer. I have like seven video games in every Windows drive and my desktop is filled with video game icons. I have five gaming sites bookmarked in Google Chrome and have extensions in Chrome which mostly consist of games. When my Windows start, gaming softwares auto-start (Steam, X-fire, etc.). I even have gaming widgets installed in my desktop. So, when I can’t find other stuff to do, I can’t stop myself from gaming. That’s my problem. I have to read this article every hour to make me stop playing games. Otherwise, I’ll think, “Oh c’mon just once I will play video games and then never. Only one hour pleaseeee!”, and I end up playing them all day. I am 15 and am forced by parents to study, a lot, which I never do. I have like one or no friend. I am fat and sit in front of computers all day. I want to change my life. Help!
Hey Jim!
Thanks for commenting. I’m really glad you’ve found the article valuable. What other hobbies do you have? What other hobbies are you interested in? Have you considered learning a new instrument? Do you play any sports? Do you exercise?
I’d be happy to help you out more. 🙂
i wasn’t trying to put anybody down or insult anybody, i was just thinking that a guy(who said something quite demeaning) was referring to a guy and not another guy.
@ak – tho i don’t think CAM is in a mood to have a long serious debate. he has a point of view that has helped avid videogamers, and that’s really it. Imagine yourself writing a blog or article (say for example coffee is ok for you) and someone that you don’t know, who could be anywhere in the world, just cram that coffee is the worst thing in the world and has lead to caffeine toxicity and death of a 14 year old girl. I mean sure you have your opinion, and there’s freedom of speech. But would you be in a good mood, reading and writing several times to a person who sticks by his or her viewpoint…
It’s not like we are judges on x factor.. I think we need to treat bloggers differently they say something, if you agree that’s fine, if you think its slightly contentious, say it once, maximum twice, and leave it.
That’s my opinion.
@ PTT – I sent you an email reply. DId you get it?
continuation- i wasn’t trying to put anybody down or insult anybody, i was just thinking that a guy(who said something quite demeaning) was referring to a guy and not another guy -> it was to let AK know not to be hurt; i meant no offense.
@JIM- i certainly have bouts of playing games alot, prob not to the extent of yourself. To consciously recognise that you are overweight is a good start. The good news is that you are still young. I’ve had amazing results in the last few weeks with a combination of self-cooking. look at light choices like beef and vegie soup and rice paper rolls, salmon, and if eating out avoid junk food. if you have friends who eat junk (which should be alot at your age)- stop being their go out-friends, its hard to say this, but its true, they eat KFC, so you feel obliged to too. and not to mention my mind thinks its ‘good’..
i’ve lost a cousin friendship who played games, modded cars, and only ate maccas, kfc, or grilled. at the end of the day it was worth it. because it REALLY is my life and not somebody else’s.
I have found cooking, painting, and ballroom dancing to be my hobbies. Do you like any of these. Cooking, Painting may not be physically active, but it can calm and make your mind happy, which can prevent emotional eating/depression which i suffered from. Thereafter I’d feel more inclined to have a long stroll or jog, do burpees (kinda like a starjump mixed with pushups), or practise dance.
You are still young, but its fantastic that you want to change your life. Alot of vietnamese restaurants are quite healthy as well, or cafes. And if you have a secret crush, it’s always good to work on yourself, physically. how is high school going?
yes i received it, i have replied only because i haven’t seen the person yet. =)
@CAM- sorry i mean i have not replied…
@JIM- I wish you good luck.
@AK- Cam doesn’t have to be ‘the average’ gamer, because the target audience for this article doesn’t consist of the average gamer.
@PTT I think it’s actually quite good to see CAM and AK debate. You say the target audience is people with gaming addictions but I bet you more than half of the people who have seen this article and read it don’t have a gaming addiction. This is the top article on this site-anyone interested or who got here through all sorts of reasons may very well stumble upon it. I was searching about gaming myself and I am not addicted to gaming. Have I had times where I played games too much and sacrificed things yes. But it also taught me things. I’ll continue my own beliefs and logical reasoning in a bit after I respond to the others in turn.
@Jim Goodluck man! there’s a lot of support here if you couldn’t tell already. You should answer CAMs questions. My own brother actually it appears he doesn’t have any passions. He plays sports but I think mostly cause that’s “what people do” at my school and thats what I did. (im an older brother) Honestly just try as many things as you can until you find something your truly passionate about. Whether it be golf, bowling, skiing, reading, tricking, ballroom dance, etc. There are literally millions of things you can do even if your out of shape, Eventually I’d reccommend getting in shape for your overall health and then that also opens up a wide variety of more hobbies you can do that are extremely fun.
@CAM and AK I think its great how you guys can make clear concise points. It’s obvious you are both educated very well so it’s nice to get different viewpoints across and to know this isn’t some lazily thought out thing. I’d like to share my own viewpoints to any who will listen.
Okay, so first I’d like to start off supporting CAM in what he’s doing. I can tell many, many people have been helped throughout this article and I hope he gets a warm, fuzzy feeling at night because you are truly a phenomenal human being. I may have jokingly said that but the meanings still there. I legitimately think that. I don’t think anyone is disagreeing that addictive gaming is bad and needs to be stopped.
However saying all gaming is bad I do disagree with. And not just all gaming. Tv is something else that was argued before gaming got really big. I can tell you for a fact my parents didn’t want me to watch such cartoons as Pokemon when I was a young kid. And I will swear by it those type of cartoons made me who I am almost more than anything. I can be a realist but I tend to find that too depressing. I want to be an idealist. I want to believe in a good guy always getting a girl, believing if I work hard enough, or belief in something enough I can make it happen. That’s something that’s been instilled within me. It allows me to dream big and to keep fighting even if thinks get bad. Some games share that. (just one aspect of how it can be good).
Another argument I’d share for it is gaming can make you do school and problems for the brain without letting you think your doing work. Normally people in school don’t like doing math problems, or figuring out stuff. It’s too much work and not very fun. But yet Portal became a huge selling game and that’s based on puzzles. I find that a very productive way to teach people.
Games can be healthy and a workout. YOU EVER PLAY DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION??? aha, that game is a workout-and I played 2-4 sports every year throughout high school and still would have worked up a sweat.
I literally can keep listening different aspects of gaming that give you benefits. However one point you keep bringing up is that other things can do it better. Say learning about socializing with people is better to actually do it with people than in a video game. Well of course that’s true. But you need supplements and you can’t do things all the time. AK made a good point about reading something and having already done your workout. Video games are a good way to relax, have fun, and let yourself digest all of that. I can tell you I went to school at high school and learned, then had 2-3 hour practices (whether it be football or basketball) and by the time I was done with that and homework I was exhausted mentally and physically. Games were a great supplement to add. I’d like to see if you can show me what’s wrong with it in that instance or supply a viable alternative. Now before you say reading I already did a lot of that. If I had a great book to read sometimes I wouldn’t do games I’d read-I read a lot. But reading can get expensive and I’m the type that flies through a 600 page book in like 2 days aha. You wanna talk about slightly addicting?
Anyways I guess I’m getting at the point that I think games are great. Right now I have college and as I said before I’m a ballroom dance instructor. Both take up quite a bit of time and a LOT of effort. Ballroom even more so. It’s like the equivalent of maybe 20 college credits in my opinion. I’m learning much more than dancing, I’m learning how to teach, to socialize, to be professional, to learn current events, etc…. and then when I get home at night its already late and my friends usually worked too. So we all get on league and Skype each other and generally play 1 or two games and have a good time and get our “hanging out” without actually staying up too late or anything. So right now video games are great for me to relax and have fun when I’m already full.
Two final things. The dj’ing does sound really fun. I don’t think I have time for it right now but is like $1000 + pretty much start up cost if id want to do it the right way?
and AK, just curious what is your view on things like say.. smoking pot? You said earlier about not judging others based on what they do. And that you don’t have a right to tell people what they can do. This could be split to other things. Are you saying we as a people can’t tell our friends not to drink alcohol or smoke weed or ciggerettes or chew tobacco for instance? and If you can whats the point that it’s ok and when is it too much. I’m just curious cause from just what you said if it were an issue of legalizing illegal drugs you’d say yes? I know this is taken out of context it’s just something to think about. Anyways good day to you all. I’ve really enjoyed reading everyones articles the past few days.
@PTT
I wasn’t personally offended by the dude’s post at all, because as I said in my previous post it’s doubtful they were referring to me – doesn’t change the fact that it was a bad comment, and you rightly pointed out and I disliked it regardless.
I realize I’m possibly detracting from the purpose of CAM’s blog – to help the addicts that have come to seek help about quitting, and I am sorry that that’s happening. You’re right that CAM’s article targets the extreme gamer, so neither does CAM or his article have to represent the average gamer – or that would be right except he’s extended his critique of video game addition to all of video gaming, and it is only here wherein the problem arises.
I’ll try to comment less against him from now on, but I can’t just ignore his latest post, it would be rude (at this stage he probably expects a reply anyways! :p).
Also, just a note on your advice to JIM on his secret crush, perhaps he would do better working on his social skills, making himself a more rounded person, etc? To be fair, if he’s spent so much time gaming he’s likely not done any physical activity for a while, so perhaps fitness could be something to focus on.
@CAM
One can tell from reading what you’ve written that you make inherent assumptions about what gaming entails – some meaningless repetitive game, probably played alone, etc. You refuse to consider any of my examples instead, of different ways people can game, because that’s not how it happened for you.
I’ve had a VASTLY different experience to you regarding gaming, and there’s so much I could talk about in explicit detail – the people I met, the places I went, how I used gaming as a break from other activites, how I used other activities as a break from gaming, what I’ve learnt from gaming, directly and indirectly, and so on. It would provide in many ways a complete polar opposite experience as an example to those who visit this site. But I won’t, and that’s because I don’t want to use my BLATANTLY unrepresentative experience and try to use it to praise gaming, (I also don’t want addicts who come on this site to think twice about quitting, because they do need help). I understand why you’ve talked about your own experience – you were once an addict, and what better way to relate to the addicts ,make them understand their problems and how to fix them by providing an example of a similar experience (as well as suggesting you know what you’re talking about)? That’s a great thing you’ve done – but then you expanded your arguments (admittedly with some prompting from me) to include all of gaming.
Your belief may have not solely come from your own experiences, but there has been, from what I can tell, a very large influence. The very fact that you’ve adopted a black-and-white approach to the topic goes to show how unwilling you are to consider the other side. Almost nothing in life is black-and-white (would say everything, but it would be paradoxial), and gaming is no exception. You say it’s COMPLETELY unproductive – what a statement to make! After all, ALL games, including Heavy Rain, have terrible/nonexistent plots, whereas ALL books, including the Twilight series, for example, have AMAZING plots, right? And ALL games, including something like MGS4, do not tackle important issues like war AT ALL, or if they do, in a terrible away, whereas TV shows on the subject, like on Fox News, always present the topic excellently and in a balanced and informative way, right? Not to mention that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to socialize whilst playing games, whereas you can with ALL other activities, such as painting, right?
Do you see what happens when one makes a statement like that? Do you see how one cannot use extremes? Can you see how big a mistake it is to make a blanket statement like that, especially considering how it shields one from considering an opposition’s point(s) of view? And finally, do you see how it shows that you HAVE been influenced by your past experiences, and how heavily they’re influencing your opinion of games now?
I hate how so many things are treated as black-and-white. It leads to generalisations, stereotypes… It almost never applies perfectly.
At least you have the honesty to call your opinion regarding this specific matter a belief rather than a thought, but please don’t call what I think that. I have, and always have, admitted to the potential negative effects of gaming – I’m not purely on one side of the spectrum. Not only that, you yourself admit to me using logic rather than emotional claims/statements with nothing behind them – so I’m clearly thinking. That’s not to say I’m not biased, but I’ve tried to put them aside. My logic may well not be anywhere near perfect either – but I’m still thinking, rather than believing. And, ultimately, that’s what it’s come down to, hasn’t it? By your own admission as much as mine, at that. Thought vs belief. Sticking with exclusively 1 side of the argument, or accepting that there’s two sides to almost every arguments – even the ones where it’s heavily skewed one way.
Just a note on your last paragraph, where you discuss how your lifestyle and idea of success are different. You use the word different, but you clearly mean superior – especially when you add your last statement to the complex. Please don’t hide being neutral words like that, just say it outright. I can tell you’ve read How to Win Friends and Influence People (it helps that you’ve mentioned it at some point in this blog), so have I – a great book in general, though a couple of things in there I don’t entirely agree with.
Once again, reading over what I’ve written, I feel like I should rewrite it to moderate my tone somewhat – but I don’t have the time or energy for that, so here we are. Once again, sorry for the long post, sorry for my overly critical tone, good luck with your DJing, your book, and helping video game addicts reform and overcome their addiction
Interesting that he makes a post so soon. I’d like to add something. I feel like I have very similar style of thinking to AK. The whole not using extremes and black and white thinking and even to the extent of saying “not being able to say Nothing is black and white because that’s paradoxical in itself”. There’s a story that many people know a bit about from Greek Mythology. Icarus and his wings. His dad was an amazing architect/engineer kept captive to create things. Well he made his son and himself these wings so they could escape from their captivity. He told his son not to fly too close to the ocean or the water would mess up the feathers and not to fly to close to the sun because they’d burn. Basically it’s a lesson. Don’t go to the extremes in life or you’ll fail. One must try to be moderate and realize there are pros and cons to everything, grey-not just black and white. Now these theory could be flawed in itself but I don’t belief so because it makes sense and applies to a lot of real life applications.
@JIM- if your parents are keen to sign you up to a hobby that requires human interaction that is also good, and i see ballroom dancing as prob the best. but for sure, u need to know what you like and don’t like.
If you are feeling you are overweight during high school, its important to break bad eating habits early. (I was quit skinny but maxed out to 84 kilo at one stage in my late 20’s, now im 75kg 167cm) keeping physically fit is alot to do with apetite which is affected by psychological requirement of food and is affected by emotions, and past childhood eating habits which is hard to break (but not impossible)..ie it has more to do with the brain, than the stomach.
@Jacob, and AK- fair enough… 🙂
Party games like Super smash bros, and Dance Dance Revo- esp if it helps lose weight..i can see some clear exceptions. The definition of ‘addict’ is vague. I play forza for a few hours (less than 5) a day and think about it here and there but how does that compare to a person who plays more than 8..and if it werent for forza4 i played a lot less on average say under 2 hours…can those 2 hours a day make me want to quit videogames forever still – yes it can..because at 31 i could see myself doing better things with my life…and in that sense this article can still apply. the ambition to quit entirely and notice games addictiveness can be applicable to an average gamer as well…(but i admit forza4 really is that good that it pissed me off).
though i admit i can see myself playing left for dead 2 for 15 min once a week/fortnight, shotgunning a zombie in the head always soothes. to say that we are not going to play another game til the end of my day..is abit ambitious. esp the future we are having now..and how games are more widespread, eg. mobile gaming, or , for example, your nephews bday party who has a wii.
@JACOB- the whole grey thing, and not thinking black and white…is a big element in the science of psychology. when you think black and white about a topic, for example, you can get annoyed if something doesn’t turn your way. much the same if you told yourself to ‘quit’ videogames, and played a game of LeftforDead for 20 minutes once a month. You may also be annoyed with yourself.
That’s not to say that videogame addicts should not try to quit in the first instance, to at least start breaking their behaviour. (I would lay in bed dumb-founded from the withdrawal symptoms, which is probably necessary). Once they have passed ‘a Quit’ stage or phase, usually at least a week or fortnight, they then prob need to reassess what their other hobbies are give these new hobbies/goals 100% effort(cooking, painting, dancing, losing weight, sign up to an education course, find a job even voluntary job); and decide which games they should never have installed (eg. WoW/Starcraft- the characteristics as described above- the need to level up etc…), or consoles or console games at hand (give the console away to a trusted family or friend if necessary)- And only play the odd game (‘non-addictive in their opinion’ games) <- That's how I did it.
Maybe other success stories should be written here as well. I'm sure other readers would love to hear more success stories.
Hey, I successfully stopped playing video games, but there comes another problem. I chose an activity which satisfies all the four conditions and this activity is my hobby too. Now, I spent most of my time (like 10-15 hours a day) doing this. This creates another problem. I don’t get time for studying at all. Whenever I start studying, this distracts me. I wanted to leave video games, but not get addicted to another thing which proves time-wasting to me.
@Jim- you mean reading the blog is your new hobby/distraction? or is it another activity all together…
lol i have the same thing, when i stopped playing videogames significantly i go on youtube and search for x factor or whatnot, or facebook…
or is it, dare i say p[]rn[]graphy?
anyway it takes time, but definately try a sport/or hobby that is not considered time-wasting… youtube is awful as well (not much better than videogames- heck i need to cut back on youtube as well)..
its quite likely once we quit games, we go on to something else that is a waste of time. though youtube can be quite insightful and information, factual, or humanly emotional, and on average, comparatively better than videogames in my opinion.
@PTT – Actually I am talking about my graphics designing hobby. I sit infront of Photoshop and 3ds max almost all day now and it’s sucking up a significant amount of my time.
@JIM- have you tried cheaper neighborhood (usually elderly) Acryllic painting classes. It is hard for a person of your age to change so quickly, but try to be pro-active sooner (netball, table tennis, bowling, archery groups even). and maybe going to the library will help with the study, to prevent yourself from being distracted.
In all seriousness, the best advice that i can give you, is to speak to your school counselor. They are employed to handle a range of life issues.
@JIM I believe you said you were overweight earlier correct? Now it’s good that your doing graphic design-that can turn into a job someday-especially if you enjoy it. but you should also-for health reasons-find a hobby of some sort that gets you physically active. I know that’s hard for people overweight for a variety of reasons-you may be self conscious, it’s hard and really exhausting, etc. But if you can find that one thing you love no matter what then you can stick with it and get in shape.
Now with being distracted with homework to be completely honest you just have to build up motivation from within. There are going to be things in life that you have to do but don’t want to. You have to learn that O i really wish I’d be doing this right now but this 6 page paper is due tomorrow I gotta suck it up and finish this then I can have fun this weeekend or whatever. It might not even be school related-eventually it could be a job, helping a friend on something you don’t want to do but he’s your friend.
@JACOB (and a small bit is for CAM)
I wasn’t actually responding to you with my latest post, but rather CAM, I spent 1/2 and hour or so writing it so I didn’t see your comment as I didn’t refresh the page whilst I was writing my comment.
It is nice to meet a somewhat similar-minded person on this issue.
Regarding your point on pot and judging people, what i said is this:
“Of course you’re not supposed to prematurely judge people, or judge them based on things you don’t understand” and perhaps I should expand on this point. Judging someone as bad or worse based on an action(s) of theirs is (in most cases) wrong, even if the action itself is bad. Take excess drinking, for example, which is a bad thing, just because someone does it doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, and even though it might be damaging themselves and those around them you can’t necessarily judge them badly simply because they could quit, as addiction, genetic predisposition to drinking, financial situation as well as a host of other issues may be factors.
The exception to this rule applies when someone is doing something or several things which are wholly bad (or they outweigh enough any benefits of the action(s) – judging when this is the case can be problematic) to themselves and/or others, they are completely aware of what they’re doing and the negative effect(s) it/they entail, have complete control over their action(s) (e.g. they’re not addicted, no peer pressue, etc), and despite all this they still do the action(s). This is (almost) never the case, hence why you should (almost) never judge people regardless of what they do, and only judge what they’ve done instead.
(To CAM, this is one point of yours which I agree with, where you don’t judge the person, but only the action, though my exception above can apply to certain gamers – if we assume gaming is as bad as you say, of course, so something for you to perhaps think about there).
So, applying this logic to something like smoking pot, of course I won’t judge those who do as bad or worse people. There are many who smoke who believe that smoking cannabis is less dangerous than smoking cigarettes or other tobacco products, and as people are allowed smoke the latter they should be allowed to smoke the former. This is a logical fallacy – even if this was true, just because it is LESS dangerous to smoke cannabis does not mean it isn’t dangerous AT ALL – though many of cannabis’ effects, especially long-term ones, are still debated on to this day(more on this later) – and so based on this one would advise people not to smoke the drug. This is also the case when arguing for its legalisation, as just because we’ve made a mistake by legalising dangerous tobacco products, we shouldn’t do a similar mistake by legalising the less-but-still-dangerous cannabis. But is it dangerous? Can it be beneficial too?
One problem here is that with cannabis so many of its effects, both short-term and long-term- though more so long-term – depend on the person who’s smoking it (it also varies with method of administration, but as most smoke it, no need to go into that) – general factors such as age and gender are also something to consider, but there are many less easily identified variables that alter one’s reaction to cannabis smoking. As such, for example, for the vast majority, smoking once or twice in your life a moderate amount of cannabis will not really negatively affect you – but for a rare minority it will.
The question here, I suppose, is could you, as with something like alcohol, apply moderation and so nullify the negative effects (won’t get excessively drunk, liver can detoxify system etc), and even gain benefits (for example, a cup of wine a day is considered good for you)? The problem here is that so many of the negative effects, especially the rarer more dangerous ones, both long and short-term, differ from person to person (some may get them, some not), even with similar/same general factors like age and mass, and there’s so much which is not known for sure about the drug. . Now, if one day all the effects were known, and there was a perfect test to see if one would be susceptible to the negative effects, both the non-serious and serious ones, as well as the positive effects, then based on this test I would be happy with people smoking it providing they had agreeable results from this test. We’re not there yet, unfortunately, and so because of the element of unknown, and based on what I know and have read on the drug, I personally wouldn’t do it or recommend it to anyone, as the potential dangers, both known and unknown, outweight the potential benefits (even the unknown ones – no remotely likely benefit can outweigh a risk of death or serious mental illness, for example).
Do you personally smoke pot? If so, tell my why – what do you gain, have you read up on the subject, can you show me otherwise? I’m always open to change my mind, and I’ve already said I won’t judge a pot smoker as bad/worse.
Here’s a couple of links to start you off on your reading:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_(drug) (dat wikipedia is good)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-term_effects_of_cannabis (DAT WIKIPEDIA IS SO GOOD)
There are many other websites on the topic, but I know wikipedia is neutral on most things, almost certainly it will get the vast majority of scientific facts/evidence/theories on drugs like cannabis right – if you want to read more then there are other options.
If you come to a different conclusion than I, I’d like to hear why – I am human, after all, they may well be something e.g. evidence or a line of logic that I didn’t think about.
@JACOB still, but something for everyone to think about as well
Just a final note, I read that you believe in the good guy always getting a girl, and though I would think that they certainly can get the girl, and quite frequently at that, a good girl, unfortunately, can almost never get the guy without at least some decent looks to accompany it. I am a guy (Out of curiosity, I wonder how many of you assumed I was a guy before only confirming it now for the first time – try not to assume unless you have no choice), and this fact really saddens me. This is one mistake many (nowhere near all, but many nonetheless) nice guys do – they lament over how some girl chose a more handsome douche over them, thinking to themselves “I’m the better person, they should’ve gone for my personality rather than the douche’s looks” Yet they would never consider pursuing their counterpart, the good girl, if they’re not beautiful.
@PTT
Was the ‘fair enough’ comment of yours a response to the bit of my previous (very long) post directed specifically at you, or a response to the entire post, including the bit mainly directed at CAM? I’m just wondering.
Regarding your three comments between October 24, 2012 at 12:55 am and October 25, 2012 at 12:02 am:
In regards to your first comment, I see what you mean, and I do agree somewhat, I think the point here is that for someone to view their gaming habits as a problem is when they waste a significant enough amount of time playing such that they are losing out enough in various aspects of their life (think business opportunity cost) – of course this can mean that someone who isn’t addicted can still look to quit gaming, my main point merely has always been is that, so long as you’re not addicted, you can play games in such a way, for the appropriate length etc. that the above is not the case.
Also, Brawl and Forza 4 – excellent games.
As for your second comment, I agree pretty much completely.
Finally, as for your third comment, just in case it wasn’t clear, I agree that addicts looking to quit should do so completely, at least for a while, because, as you rightly allude to and have talked about before, an addict will struggle to play in moderation, and will probably slip back into addiction – quitting completely for a while gives them the clear perspective they need to diversify their hobbies and lead them to a more fulfilling life, which may or may not include gaming. In this case a temporary black-and-white approach is good, because it then leads the former addict to be able to choose the grey later on if they so wish ie to play games in moderation, without losing control. My problem is only when CAM uses a permament black-and-white approach to all of gaming.
Also, regarding your more recent comment on October 25, 2012 at 10:24 am, youtube is better than video games? I can see why you may think that – there are some really good videos on there, educational, thought-provoking, funny etc. but there’s also some TERRIBLE stuff on there, worse than the vast majority of games (and (almost) certainly all the popular ones that 95% of people play), such as extremely racist/prejudiced material, extremist views, some awful comments, the list goes on. Besides, as I’ve discussed before, gaming can be eductional and beneficial in other ways. I wouldn’t say gaming is better, but I wouldn’t generalise and say youtube is better either, depends on what you watch/play, how long you watch/play, and who you watch with/play – as with (almost) everything, there is no black and white.
@CAM
Glancing at my last post, though I’m not sorry for the message I was trying to get across, I have to apologize for the bitter,aggressive and/or confrontational tone, I did apologize already but still, should’ve have been like that.
Also, JACOB, you thought my individual arguments or posts as a whole were concise? My arguments may be, but my posts as a whole? Thank you for the compliment, but they’re REALLy long – I suppose that could mean I have a lot to say rather than being inconcise, but still, found the comment quite funny.
Also, regarding being an idealist vs realist, being an idealist is important because it helps you realise what things (such as the world as a whole) should be like, rather than how they are now, so you know what to aim for when changing something for (hopefully) the better. However, (almost) always in life, the ideal is impossible to achieve, and so one has to be a realist to realise the best one can do about a given thing(s) given the resources and abilities one has. For example, unfortunately, hard work can’t get you everywhere in life, some (in some cases phenomenal) talent is required – I say unfortunate because whereas hard work is a matter of choice (though this can be debated – some would argue some are more predisposed to want to and/or have the ability to work hard than others, and other arguments exist as well), talent is something one is born with, and so a matter of chance for the given individual.
Ok, there was an error in that comment aha. Consice is definitely not the correct term I was going for. Hmmm, I’m struggling for a word but you should know what I’m saying. Logical, intelligent debate instead of a lot of petty nuh uh, yeah huh and “because thats way it is” type arguments. Although you may argue that Cam doesn’t always follow that there. And I agree about the idealist realist. My personal viewpoint is too many people think you can’t. If you honestly devoted 20 years of your life to something your going to beat out people with way more talent if they’ve been doing it less and not as hard as you.Now are there exceptions of course. A 5’5 person won’t be making it to the nba-but he could become one of the best players in the state if he devoted enough energy to it. Granted a LOT of energy but its there. People think its impossible-but really they don’t want to try that hard. They may want it-but they don’t want it that bad. And of course being perfect is impossible to achieve. Some people argue that we shouldn’t even go for that we should go for achievable goals. Yes you should set some but what happens when you get those-you either stop or get better ones. This whole site touches on that idea. Trying to better yourself in all areas. Get better at socializing, become more literate, get more athletic, coordinated, balanced, find hobbies that allow you to relate and share with people. All of these leads to tryign to make a better YOU. And even though I know things like movies and cartoons rarely happen and some are impossible. Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna take that attitude and apply it to my own life.
Yeah I thought so, my posts are really not concise, though I’d like to think they’re as concise as I could reasonably expect of myself, considering how much I have to say and that I kind of let myself go as there’s no word or time limit to this and it’s something that I actually want to write about, unlike many schools essays that I’ve written for example.
Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. Of course everyone should work as hard as they can (whilst allowing time for relaxation, hobbies, and whatnot) as that allows them to achieve the best they can. My point merely was that, unfortunately, the best that one can do may not be enough to achieve a certain goal(s) or ambition(s) in life. However, just because that’s the case, doesn’t mean one shouldn’t try one’s best, because of all one learns along the way, even if you don’t think you can reach the end, and just because I’m saying that everyone has different levels of ability in different things doesn’t mean that one shouldn’t find those levels and push them as far as they go.
The moral problem of talent is one that I’ve thought about for a long while now, but in fear of going too off-topic I won’t go into it now.
Anyway, what did you think about my thoughts on pot? I’d like to hear your answers to my questions in my previous long post, and did you check out the links?
Oh aha, it appears I did the same thing that happened to you earlier. I replied not seeing your latest post. To start out with I’ll just kind of give my personal history with it. I played sports in high school and very competively. I wanted to be good and put in a LOT of time-hence my earlier talk about talent and trying. Anyways because of this I never tried weed, pot alcohol or any drugs until the end of my Senior basketball season. Afterwards I have consumed alcohol a few times but nothing serious like many of my generation. Still haven’t tried weed and its been one of the weirdest ones because so many people do it-its a norm now almost. And its weird for me to say I’ll drink alcohol but not smoke pot when alcohol can be worse-generally is actually. So even though I still haven’t, I haven’t found anything wrong with it-majorly-other than that it’s illegal. So sorry if you were hoping to get more information and another viewpoint from me aha. I’m basically in your situation although I did find your information useful. (btw enjoyed the “dat wikipedia” bit. nice to see your normal and have a sense of humor aha) But yea to conclude I also don’t really judge most pot users- I have friends who do it/tried it. I just don’t like being in situations when they are doing it and I’m around them.
Your comment: “I am a guy (Out of curiosity, I wonder how many of you assumed I was a guy before only confirming it now for the first time – try not to assume unless you have no choice), and this fact really saddens me.”
now if you take out the parentheses you get…
I am a guy and this fact really saddens me.
lol. found that funny even though I know the latter relates to your earlier bit about guys choosing girls on looks. First I did in fact assume you were a guy but if you had asked me before saying anything I would have reassessed and asked neutrally as to not making an embarrassment out of myself. Anyways what you say is correct. I do want a girl to look beautiful. But beauty is a relative term. I’m sure if you try really hard enough you can find things wrong with any girl. And vice-versa- you can find something really cute, and charming about each one. For me personally I’ve fallen for girls who aren’t “hot” or have a great body or anything. There face was beautiful to me and I absolutely loved talking to this person and enjoyed there personality. Once a variety of things happened and I got over this person I could easily see things that many could find “wrong” with this person. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess. If your going out with someone I sure hope you find your girlfriend beautiful and not just there personality. Yes, they can have flaws but you like the other things better-or you even find the flaws good in themselves. Hopefully that makes sense.
Now there’s a lot about good guy syndrome and things like that. A lot of guys who think there great have a lot more problems with their personalities than they’d like to admit. Confidence issues, jealousy, pettiness, not enough independence, etc. I’m not entirely sure all I can say on this I’m by no means an expert but I’ll say this much. I’m single and haven’t even been in a long term relationship. (im a freshman in college fyi) However I try for the most part to be independent. To work on me. to make myself a better person and to live how i feel like i should. And to eventually figure out myself enough to know what I want in someone. And if a girl comes in that I like and the feelings mutual well that’s a plus. But I don’t want to actively go after every girl that looks hot. I’m trying to treat every person I meet fairly and understanding that they have different views on life based on past experiences and that doesn’t mean they are wrong. That’s basically how I’m doing things now. And one last note before I end yet another ridiculously long post is just an addition. Why would so and so choose some better looking douche over me. First I’ll say im by no means-horrible. I played sports my whole life, and I’m tall so that helps aha. But I also am not some guy girls are instantly whoo’d by. I don’t really care that much. There are ALWAYS (note the black and white here aha), there is always going to be someone better looking than you or worse looking then you in the world. It depends on who you ask, and what they like. I’m trying to focus on things I can improve-my level of fitness is something I can change. My personality-trying to be kinder is something I can work on. Things like that. Don’t get me wrong though I do it for me to. I wouldn’t spend hours in a gym just for others aha- I like working out. But basically I try to never think a girls “out of my league” or I deserve her why isn’t she impressed by me, or “she’s way below me”. I think of it more as she and i get along well and match nice or i don’t think we really click. However I will end with one last thing. I do have an X-factor. Sometimes a girl you don’t think you’d like just suddenly impresses you. You see someone and your straight up attracted to them. Doesn’t always mean they’re good for you but it makes me want to get to know them more.
Oi I tried to figure out what I wanted to say on that last bit but it’s so hard because I don’t really know my opinion on it completely aha but maybe you can make sense of the ramble. We may need to figure out how to carry on these convo’s elsewhere…
The reason I say a school couselor is they can point you to the right direction with extra-curriculum activites, and i totally agree with JACOB, you need to motivate yourself. If something is bothering you to prevent yourself from studying well, you need to talk to somebody and if you think you need to talk to a health professional, ask your parents. It used to carry a stigma, but you know its a good way to offload, for them to set goals for you, and for them to try to figure out why you behave, in a certain manner. i wished i saw a pyschologist sooner approx your age.
@Jacob and also AK:
i think its true the ‘out of my league’ thing, sometimes i think its true sometimes i don’t.. if she desires somebody nice, sacrificing, genuine, and somebody who holds an affection/appreciates.. and vice versa that’s what really matters. and i certainly believe in the ‘x’ factor you described, Here is my rough checklist in order of importance, if shes got some of the top, she definitely has the x factor.
1.She appreciates you.
2. Self-sacrificing.
3. Supportive cheers you on.
4. Agreeableness and ability to empathise
5. Ability to respond
6. Facial attractiveness.
7. Atheist
ie. as in i don’t believe a person ‘is out of your league’…
@Cam
South Korea has been great. The people here have been very nice, generous and helpful. Also, you really don’t need to know Korea.. It’s very easy to get around South Korea and only a little Korean. Most Koreans know a little English and their stores are in both Korean and English. The only negative spot so far are the hours that I have to work at my school. I am easily working 10 hour days. On M, W and Fr I teach from 1:15-6:45 p.m. non-stop. I might get a five minute break but that’s it. Other teachers that I have met work fewer hours and they get paid the same. They might work from 2-10 pm or from 9-5 pm. If you decide to come to South Korea pick your school carefully.Do the research. Talk to other teachers who have worked at the same school.
I just wanted to state something very quickly in regard to gaming and life. Everyday we make decisions. Those decisions are going to move you towards and away from your goals in life. I’m just saying that we need to pick carefully what we do in our daily lives.
Time is the only resource that we can’t save. We use it second by second, and minute by minute. Once it’s gone that’s it. I feel sorry for people who spend hours playing video games and watching television. They probably keep saying to themselves that they will get to their goals tomorrow. Well tomorrow may never come. My mom passed away at 65 just last year. We didn’t even see it coming. Life is so short.
Also, I just wanted to state that my sister is an avid gamer. She went o to Rutgers University and just a few years ago she was attending Harvard University. She is now working at Boston University in their Biology department while she pursues her PHD. She has written articles on research that she has participated in. She has managed to excel while being a gamer. I guess games aren’t all bad if done in moderation.
Hi, I’ve come here to share another solution (yeah, I’ve already shared a solution like falling in love, whatever):
If you’re obsessed with only one video game, then:
1 – start another game
2 – play this game for like one day, 2 days (like one 1 or 2 hours a day, WARNING: DON’T PLAY ENOUGH TIME TO GET ADDICTED TO IT)
3 – while playing the new game you’ll forget the old one
4 – come back to the old game, delete it.
5 – You’ll probably lose interest in the new game because it’s new, and you don’t know all the features, and so on, so, delete the new game as well.
PS: this solution works great for RPGs. It worked for me, I wasn’t expecting for it, it came accidentally when I was addicted to a PC game, and my Xbox was collecting dust with 3 or 4 crappy games. I bought a new game to play on my Xbox, and suddenly forgot the old one. Then, when I realized it, I ran to my PC to say goodbye to all my friends online, deleted my accounts, deleted the game (this part is crucial, to uninstall the game, because every time you’ll feel that temptation, you’ll remember that you’ll need to spend like 20 mins installing the game, entering the license keys, changing CDs, and so on) and came back to play the new game on Xbox… but when I turned the Xbox on, I realized that I lost interest in video games.
Yeah it sounds pretty much like fairy tale lmao, but it’s true.
Good luck mates.
@Ben
You’re so right about the time thing. Once you realize that time won’t wait for you, you must tell yourself that it’s now or never to do what you want, before it’s too late.
I thought this was really information about Internet porn:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
Hey Cam,
Just wondering what you think of the community of professional gamers who actually make a living off playing games like LoL and Starcraft? These people make very decent money (for example a recent tournament awarded US$1million to the winning team) simply through playing games all day. Furthermore, they live in gaming houses and are salaried, often regardless of success in tournaments, meaning that they earn enough to live on even if they don’t win big tournament. What’s is your opinion on people like this? Is this not a valid thing to pursue in life?
I was about to finish up another post, then the browser crashes…sad sad days 🙁
How long was it? lol. I think im gonna start writing my posts in notepad then copying them over aha.
Good point Alex
http://kingpinlifestyle.com/4-things-to-look-for-in-a-manwoman/
I just stumbled across an article on here on just what we happened to be talking about earlier
hey ya’ll.. Well I guess I would start saying that I have an addiction.. and well I know this article is kinda old.. but I see people still posting comments & I just would like to share my story.. alright so I have been playing video games since I remember, I’m 20 years old now, in college judt enjoying life you know? but whats different from me is I don’t play WoW or other computer games I have been such a sony fan since I was little I had the psone ps2 and well now the ps3 & I love all the FPS games that I just can’t stop it.. after I played Call of duty Modern Warfare 2, I just started playing more & more. I actually do have a social life, I played baseball for awhile I didn’t quit that I just stopped and then all I end up doing was lift weights and keep doing that and it seems to keep me busy when I don’t have anything to do but once I get home and I don’t have anything to do, even when I finished my chores I just take a little bit of time and play some modern warfare 3 but then I notice I gotta do something & I just leave it for later and I always end up leaving everything for later but I don’t play as much as I used too because college, lifting weights & playing ball but then like I said sometimes I play sometimes and when I do I end up leaving other stuff because of it, some people might be asking what about a girlfriend or going out? well I had a girlfriend during my junior year in high school but she left me after a couple of months blaming everything on me because I wasn’t sure what I want.. like we still in high school we don’t know what we want during that time then I just cried my heart out playing video games not that much but I did but besides all this I’m fine with girls it just the fact I just want to be alone and have my own time but I just can’t find a replacement to playing videos and well going out to parties get drunk, smoke, and all that, well I do go out I have friends thats all they do but I don’t drink because it reminds me of my father and I just can’t do it, and smoke well I can’t either so I’m pretty much the designed driver when I go out because all my friends get faded and they can’t drive, anyways thats just a little bit of life, yeah I do have other stuff to do but sometimes I find myself not doing anything but playing & I remember stopped playing for almost a year and thats because my old ps3 broke and didnt have the money and I had stuff to do. I ended up buying a new one after awhile and since then I have been spent money on new video games and items for my ps3 till a couple weeks ago when I said to myself “STOP” this ain’t happening, and after that I play less & less time go lift weights more often & will start going out again, do homework, read, meet new people, meet new girls, etc
I actually think being a gamer isn’t a bad thing it just the effects it has in messing up your life sometimes.. after reading this article I could say it will help me more & will definitely put an end for my gaming life once & for all..
I did read most of the comments on here & they did surprised me how video games could change your life.
After taking weeks to read all the comments I am shocked! I am glad people are looking for help and advice. I’ve poked around here for a long time, but I never posted. I feel like I am selling myself short by not posting and maybe it can help some others as well.
A little back information about me. I started gaming (hardcore I guess) at 14 years old. I am currently 23 now. I’ve played everything from nes-to current generation of consoles. I personally liked and played pc’s more. I don’t feel that I was ever addicted to one specific game. I played more BF 1942, BF2, WoW, CS 1.6/CS:S, TF, etc… only because my friends were playing those games and it was easier to jump on with friends I knew rather with randoms. I could quit those games and move onto something else anytime I was bored or lost interest.
I felt that quitting was the easiest thing ever! Let me explain. I think we all grow in and out of hobbies as we grow and experience life. I started to notice my loss of interest around 19-20ish. Games started becoming boring, easy, forgetful, online was boring, too short, etc… I felt like it became more of a chore than a hobby. That is just part of moving on to bigger and better things. Not saying gaming is wrong or bad in any way. I know guys playing casually well into their 30’s and it works for them. I think this will be my last and final year of gaming. As mentioned before there is nothing left or desired in the gaming world for me.
There has been some pros and cons to gaming for me as well. Pros-I have developed social skills and friendships that would have been next to impossible without gaming. My typing and grammar have much improved. (more impacting my younger years) I do believe it has helped hand/eye coordination and team work/strategy skills. I think it can get you to think a different way, but games will only take you so far. You need to take your new found skill(s) and put them to use on something more challenging. Now for the cons-Gaming has crippled my eating/exercising habits. I started to develop small aches and pains in my wrists and fingers. I also had a semi-bad posture starting to develop in my neck/back from being hunched over the computer using bad forms of sitting. At the first signs of any of these is scared me straight! I am in my 20’s I don’t need to be having these problems especially if it’s my fault. I have corrected every single one of the problems I started to have and I feel a million times better.
It seems like the biggest problem is people don’t know what to do after they quit or are in the process of quitting. I am not going to post all the cliche things like school, work, family, friends, social events. I am going to focus on the smaller things that have helped me grow and ultimately become a well round person. I joined bodybuilding.com to help with my weight/lifting techniques. They have a great community and they’re willing to help if you’re willing to learn. I used to build and fly model rockets with my dad. I got into that again. I started building model cars/trucks/planes. Everyone reads, but it isn’t stressed enough! I started picking up books about only stuff I was interested in. I started reading about cars, bikes, greek mythology, laws, business…etc. I always had an insane interest in cars and mechanical stuff so I started picking up repair manuals and learning all I could about fixing and modding cars. This is just the beginning of what I did to replace gaming. The point is if you start replacing video gaming hours with small hobbies/arts/crafts gaming will be completely forgotten if you think gaming is an issue or you just want to do other things.
I think this is a great article and there are some great people here commenting and the comments are still very active. Don’t be afraid to post like I was!
Wow.. Great comments guys. It’s definitely difficult for me to keep up, but I will add my 2 cents into the conversation now.
Definitely don’t feel bad about the conversation going off topic… I think all of these discussions are important to have.
One question to you all: I’m considering a launch of a forum for this topic. Would you guys be interested in this? It would give us much more flexibility in approaching various topics, etc.
@ Ricky – Thanks for commenting. I’m glad you found the article valuable.
@ Unknown – I’m impressed you’ve read all the comments… and I can see how it would have taken you so long to do it. The crazy part is they seem to be getting more and more frequent every day (not complaining… this is an important topic for discussion). I like your point about growing in and out of hobbies throughout our lives. I’ve seen research on how every 10 years we seem to shift to a major new interest, and 10 years later a new one, etc.
The biggest problem is definitely what to do after you’ve quit gaming. It’s a hard question even for me to answer for others because what people will ultimately enjoy is completely relative. For me, it was socializing and DJing. For others, it might be ballroom dancing or guitar. It’s very difficult to pinpoint for each individual. Bodybuilding is a great suggestion, specifically because it gets a lot more physical activity in the mix. Thanks for posting, I appreciate you taking the time to contribute.
@ Alex – Great question. It’s a tough one to answer for sure. I’ve thought about it a lot. A few things come to mind: 1) Specifically in Korea, there’s been many reports of these houses being very bad for the players – long hours, etc. 2) Unfortunately, the percentage chance that a person will become professional and play on one of these teams is not very good. Not impossible but also very difficult, so it would be hard for me to encourage the pursuit… MAINLY because of the potential negative side-effects of extended video game play. In my mind, it’s a very different situation to pursuing a career in the NHL or NFL… but a difficult question no doubt.
@ Ben – Thanks for the tip about picking your school correctly. I’ve heard this multiple times. How are you finding the social life in South Korea? Some guys who have emailed me who are teaching English over there have said they had trouble socializing. Is this your case?
I really like what you said here: “I just wanted to state something very quickly in regard to gaming and life. Everyday we make decisions. Those decisions are going to move you towards and away from your goals in life. I’m just saying that we need to pick carefully what we do in our daily lives.”
@ Max – Thanks for your tips.
@ JIM – We have an online course coming out soon to help people socialize better in high school. If this is something you’d be interested in, shoot me an email: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com, the course will be $97. No pressure. If you find you’re now spending too much time on graphic design, consider using a calendar to monitor and schedule your day, to achieve a better balance. Try to find a hobby outside the computer.
@ Jacob – There’s many TED (ted.com) talks on how the gaming platform is a great way to teach kids. I address this point in my upcoming book, but here are a few thoughts to share:
The gaming platform is a framework of teaching that is GREAT. Using things like a level-up system and making learning entertaining are without a doubt significant improvements to the current education system.
BUT, the only way people learn within this type of framework is if the game has educational content. Portal would be an example of that, but I don’t see very much educational content in a game like World of Warcraft… nor throughout any of these comments have anybody posted saying they’re addicted to Portal.
But I do agree with you that the gaming framework is a great learning tool… my only point is for it to be a great learning tool, the content has to be educational.
As per smoking pot. The line you draw is that if you don’t want to be around people who smoke pot/drink/smoke cigarettes, you can tell them you don’t want to be around it and if they want to continue, you don’t have to be friends with them. The difference comes into play when you are judging others for doing it. You aren’t judging them… they can do what you want. But you don’t have to choose to be around them. That doesn’t make them a bad person or anything, just someone you don’t want to hang out with.
The way I can illustrate it is with this:
What do hippy’s think of Donald Trump?
They think he’s a fucking idiot right?
What does Donald Trump think of hippys?
He probably thinks they, too, are idiots.
But who’s right? Neither group. It’s just the type of person they each choose to be around. Neither is better or worse than the other.
When it comes to legalizing illegal drugs… that’s a legal issue. The law dictates that, not personal opinion.
@ AK – I wouldn’t use superior because neither option makes you better or worse than anybody else. (Only that one does increase the amount of options you have.)
The black-and-white approach to gaming comes down to the increased risk of extended exposure to video games. Without a risk like that being so substantial, video games would easily fall into similar categories to every other hobby out there. FOR ME, it’s just too risky to encourage playing video games because the risk of negative side-effects is tremendous.
@ PTT – It’s interesting that you bring up porn because one of the sections of my book is on “What Video Games and Porn Have in Common”. Watching that TED talk was super valuable to be (the porn experiment one) and many of my friends have got off porn because of it. I encourage you guys to get off porn ASAP too!
I think a forum would be a great idea. I personally think internet forums have been one of the things that has taught me the most. I see no reason why it wouldn’t work here and as you can see topics can rapidly grow and snowball.
Thanks for your input Cam. It made sense.
When is your book going to be coming out?
@ Jacob – Thanks for your feedback. It’s definitely something I’m going to entertain.
I’m hoping to have the book released within the next few weeks. It’s about 50% written right now so it shouldn’t take too too long to get it complete and ready to share with you all.
I’m going to include some cool bonuses with the book too, which I’m excited about.
That sounds awesome. I must say with how old you are and everything you’ve accomplished a lot and have even more to go. Quick question. I see a lot about how much everyone grows when they start implementing Social Dynamics in their lives. Right now I’m trying to get rid of my “ego” and get out of my comfort zone. To be honest I feel extremely anxious and scared. Not to mention my job I’m learning how to be a “professional” which adds a whole new list of things that are maturing me. Did you or anyone else feel overwhelmed or scared at all when going through this? Is it just a phase?
how do you curb horny thoughts, insomnia, and sexual frustration????? 🙁 , trying to quit, but within 3 days i go on it again.
ps. esp. with no gf.
internet porn.
whats your thoughts of sexually relieving yourself before meeting a girl, is it an age-old myth you relax and don’t talk macho when you are relieved?
@PTT
pls ignore the previous post. i was half-asleep at the time.
in theory if i only use one porn video and slow, its all good- thats what PTT’s TED video is saying.
first of all i want to apologise that i used the name ‘ocd’ tricking you guys unsuccessfully into thinking im somebody else. i was embarrased to say it, but as the porn experiment says, all coomon-sense, all boys (and most girls) have either seen or are users of porn.
i find it impossible to stop using porn, a week doesn’t go by without it. i used to think its normal like everybody else did, but i see that video and i seen the many upon many porn addict forums that wreck peoples’ married life which scares me. in the first months of marriage, they tend not to need to porn, but then after awhile its put their married life to breaking point. my father used to have a suitcase full of magazines, and i do worry how i will control myself..i know when i get depressed i tend to go there (even my exgf commented on it)…
and i used to think about or typing FUCK at work(the OCD alias) cos well work was horrible at the time, office politics and whatnot..i understand how CAM can’t imagine himself to work 8am-5pm ever.
@Ricky- i used to be a sony(had all 3 consoles + Japanese NTSC (from Hong Kong) NES 1980s) fanboy then after a parking fine, the impulsive emotive side of me got the better of me, so to make myself happy i bought an xbox360, which led me to play forza. fancy i didn’t see any addictive games on PS3 (though GT5, Killzone3, CODMW2 wasn’t far off)…counterstrike source PC being the only somewhat addiction as well.
i also gained alot of weight during my time when i was depressed and lost a lot of self-confidence in my late 20’s. i think at 31 i have finally picked myself together, and enjoying dance, cooking, pushing towards being a primary school teacher, and painting. let’s just say, don’t lose sight of hope. because Resilience was the only thing i had. think all the Rocky Balboa movies! 😀
emotional eating / game addiction / depression / porn addiction / shopaholic eg. dvds / blu-ray..
let me know if you have any of these tendencies.
@Ricky- if you want to quit videogames, in a way it’s simple and harsh, ‘permanently lend’ your ps3 to a brother/sister/relative.
case in point: I saw Spiderman (the new one with Emma Stone) on blu-ray and the only way i didn’t buy it was that my TV broke. this was in JB hi-fi Aussie Down Under land, which is similar to Best Buy in USA i presume.
@ Jacob – You’re definitely right that it can be overwhelming when you take on the journey of Social Dynamics… but it’s important to remember: the journey never ends. Personal development is an on-going journey, so don’t get attached to the outcome. Just keep pushing on and improving every day. Change can be scary, so focus on building momentum and you’ll be glad you put the time into your development as you improve! And of course, make sure you surround yourself by people who can guide you and add insight. This will help keep you stable and moving forward.
@ PTT – Part of my book is going to detail how I’ve dealt with negative emotions and resentment when you quit things (and relapses), so I’m excited for you to check that out… but the best way I have found is to focus on “beating my high score.”
So if you hit a wall at 3 days, try to beat it this time. But don’t just get to 4 days and then be like “ok i beat the score I can do it again”… you want to have the MINDSET of making the high score as HIGH as possible. Take it on as a challenge to see what you’re made of.
Here’s a private video blog I made for my students a few years ago about “a lesson I learned about a year ago that makes a MASSIVE difference in getting you to make the change you want to make INSTANTLY.” (The video is old and I was younger, don’t judge me lol.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7c2AYPo1kI
Make sure you study http://yourbrainonporn.com
Watching porn is terrible for your brain, and does real damage. YOu need to do the 90 day reboot challenge! I successfully completed it recently. The hardest days for me were day 11 and 12. Once I got past those days it wasn’t that bad.
As per relieving yourself before meeting a girl, it’s not good at all. Getting off hurts your natural masculine aura. You should read The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. He talks about it in the later chapters.
One of the other Kingpin Staff members (Mikey B) has suffered from emotional eating a lot. PTT, I’m sure I could get him to talk with you on Skype about his experieces?
I haven’t even been gone for a week and there’s so much for me to comment on…GOD DAMMIT
@ AK – Welcome to my life. Now try doing it for over a year… every week.
haha.
lol seriously CAM- I Don’t know how you keep up with it all but I’m extremely grateful and I’m sure we all are. So I thought I’d update my journey today. So to start off I took the original pickup Idea and went with that-just not pickup.
So I went to the mall after classes and I was hoping to try and talk to random people but I still have trouble with that. So instead I talked to like 3 of the employees working different shops. One we talked about halloween. Another about some thing he was doing to clean or w/e. And the last one I was talking to the manager girl of a new shop that just opened up. And I was talking to her about where she came from, how she got promoted and other things. So I learned quite a abit there. As good as the day went I still have problems talking to complete strangers. Especially people I’m not sure I have anything in common with just from a glance. Like I dont know how to break the ice.
Hey Cam I’m starting to think the format of this site could be greatly improved. Liike you suggested earlier I think a forum would be a great addition. Also I think you should have like links or a video page with some of the vids you have on your youtube channel so that way people find it easier. Maybe eventually have an index somewhere so if people say want relationship advice-a lot of links are there all relating, if they want to know more about social dynamics- how it came ot be its all in one spot, if they want to know good ways to apply it- etc. etc…
Also is there any way you guys can like-market or advertise this better. I’m guessing a lot is through word of mouth and random google searches on articles on here. Anyways just some thoughts.
@CAM- thanks for the great advice…
So what happens after the 90 days? haha.
i have a friend also who has had emotional eating problems. he used to eat when his knee got injured and when he broke his nose (in Brazilian jijitsu). he explains its hard because of the neuro-pathways are already set. i’ve managed to stop emotional eating by walking, then running. ive noticed lately (non-sexual) self-massage makes me feel better if i feel pissed off/angry/depressed so i dun need resort to emotion-eating or drinking. socialising and being creative such as dance and painting is fantastic as well. thanks for the offer, but i’m ok with my diet now. I’d also advice people to do burpees i used to be bad, but now im managing 2 sets of 12 burpees which is a big improvement.
@Jacob- do you teach dance? my suggestion is meet up with your fellow teachers after a class, the good thing is, you can take it slow and natural.
Well not quite yet. Still in training. I have an opportunity to get my first students next week. So for now I spend quite a fair amount of time talking to my teachers as they are still instructing me. What do you mean I do with them?
@Jacob- i reckon its more than okay, to thank them (that’s what i would do). with a present or treat them to dinner in a restaurant. and just talk to them naturally. at the end of the day, they gave you a great opportunity to teach others and earn a living. and i wouldn’t consider it like ‘sucking up’ whatsoever. its just to say thanks. there you can talk about other things they/you do outside of dance, and at the end of the day, show your gratitude?
Are they similar in age? you will need to adjust the way you talk to them slightly. show more respect if they are older, or if they are peers, slightly ‘hang’ with them.
@Jacob- you’re not alone on this. I will try to make an effort to talk to one of the dancing students after class this Wednesday. it makes it easier knowing one of the girls spent some time talking to me after class last week.
This advice was pretty good.
Yes but I mean like i don’t know if I can really hang with some of the older instructors outside. Or even a dinner or anything like… they can be really uptight and strict and conservative in their views. The 2 younger ones I already went to wild bull with one once and the other I’m hoping once winter hits to go skiing with him sometime. and I do/have thanked them for the things there doing for me.
i understand the uptight and conservative because my dancing studio’s owners are like that, in their 60’s, retired, and have their own ‘proteges’ who are teachers. The owners only do private tutoring which isn’t as physical for them. (hopefully at least they are not a pain in the ass at least). my ones are conservation, but not pain in the ass.
I don’t think you have to be friends with everyone. but that’s my opinion. be friendly to the younger ones. and go to the year competitions/dancing exams of students if its held of course (you probably need to anyway). Just find an outlet to socialise. It doesn’t have to be dance. you should try meetup.com; i was really quiet in high school, heck i stuttered, and sometimes if i tongue-tied i can still do. but its great, go to the ‘professional people’s one’. Definately should be one that suits you. I have 23 friends on FB, it goes to show you don’t have to be friends with everybody… I peaked about 150 friends on FB at one stage. but IMO you need only a few really good friends, and a social outlet to keep you on your toes with your social skills. meetup.com helped me. (movie then a restaurant after work; or a dinner and lounge)…
I don’t even think it’s too wrong to go talk to one of the students 10 minutes before and 10/15 minutes after, or even eventually going out with one of the students (who may fancy you or vice versa).
@ Jacob- maybe talk to students five minutes before a class (10 minutes maybe a bit too much haha)…
@Jacob- one final thing- obviously you will know which students are mucking around and not taking dance seriously, and you will know the students who do take it seriously.
its easy to talk to them because they tend to stay 15 minutes or more past the hour of the dancing class. you can teach them further, and i have no doubt they would appreciate that. then it would be easier to talk professionally – then slide more to the – personal thing’s like what they do outside of dance/what they do for a living etc. etc.
@ Jacob – Warming up using employees of stores is a great approach. Good job. Remember, this journey will take you time. Don’t be attached to the outcome. The way to break the ice is to ask something situational. So for Halloween as an example you could ask “Hey… I’m shopping for a costume, which costumes do you love?” Then expand into other topics from there. My favorite initial opener is “Do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?”
Also thanks for the feedback on the site. It’s definitely an evolution, and I’ll add your feedback into it! I appreciate that a lot.
@ PTT – After 90 days you will no longer care about masturbating/porn. For real. You’ll just be over it. Maybe not 100% but very very close. Have you tried meditation? Meditation is really good for anxiety (which is the emotion you feel that makes you want to eat emotionally and to masturbate/watch porn.)
@ Randonium – Thanks for leaving your comment!
Thanks Cam. And PTT I won’t go into all the details cause I’d be here forever but my job description is literally to talk to these people. Like during a lesson I’ll go to someones students and talk to them. They literally make me.. aha. Also the studio I’m at is VERY high quality and professional. Everyone there loves to dance-its for sure because there paying like $100 an hour for lessons aha.
Also I want to share a success story. I told this to Kevin on skype. I was at hollister you know talking to employees like I said earlier. And the manager overheard me and later approached me asking if I wanted a job. I was literally stoked. Within a week of trying to improve something like this already happens. Weird thing was I had applied to Hollister earlier that year and didn’t hear anything of it.
One last question. So I’m wanting to talk to more people and such. But I feel the best way to meet people that will be relevant to me is through groups doing stuff I like. For instance a hiphop dance group or a tricking group. But where I am there’s like barely anyone. Trying to find hiphop is near impossible-I found one group but I can’t ever make there things cause of my schedule. And tricking I already know a lot of the trickers in a 100 mile radius pretty much. I know these 2 things could be my passion and I could see myself doing it for life. But I don’t know how to find more connections to make it happen. Maybe I need to move to a location where its more popular? For instance dancing (professionally at least) is more popular on the coasts. I’ve been trying everything I can these past few days. Searching google, reddit, facebook, whatever to try and figure out local jams and groups but there nearly nonexistant in my area…
I’ve already taken a few steps of my own to quit gaming. I’m mostly a computer gamer, so I’ve uninstalled every video game from my hard drive, gave some of the console games I did possess to my cousins who live ~500 miles away from me, and deleted the characters that I owned on Role Playing games.
While I’m sure that my life will eventually change because of this (and hopefully for the better), the problem seems to be finding the drive to do something productive. Instead of video gaming, I find myself writing fantasies or reading the fictional works of other people. I want to get to the point where I can focus on the very necessary objectives in life. Do you have any suggestions for me?
@Jacob- Are you thinking of working at Hollister,
My recommendation is to move, if you feel your area does not have the hobbies on offer (hip hop and tricking).
I remember a saying “The biggest risk is not to take any risks at all”.
Never live your life with “What if i did this, What if i did that?”. You need to plan, and you need assess your expenses, and other risks of course. Take calculated risks in life, esp if it’s for the better.
@Travis, I would say network, and think about your future career. and take steps to follow your dream / change.
I hope AK comments, because I opened a few lines of discussion recently.
@CAM- thanks for the advice…
@CAM sorry for so many short replies, i need to be less impulsive and be more patient and collect my thoughts- haha see my problem. anyway this is a really good porn/masturbation addiction forum, which is fantastic to read for myself… There is such a wide-variety of age groups, nerdy ppl getting bullied- to becoming more spiritual, earning a black belt in a Martial art., and meditation (1 hour a day) like you mentioned before..
usually its the ‘what the heck, what does it matter if i do it…thought/attitude” combined with being pissed off/frustrated (it might not even be completely rational emotion)…or it can be anxiety yes.
@CAM and all.. gee i forgot to have the forum address:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/WHAT-HAPPENS-IF-YOU-STOP-MASTURBATING/show/388265
Cam did you do this guide as an activity to escape videogames? to find something to do instead of playing?
I have a new topic. I want to know Cam’s opinion on friends with benefits. Or one night stands. pretty much any scenario involving sex, or sexual ecounters related to the value system. Obviously If your using girls to do this its bad but what if your not really using them. It’s mutual or your both drunk etc. etc…
@ Jacob – That’s awesome about Hollister. This stuff makes a huge difference. Talking to Kevin I bet was cool to hear his perspective on it too. He’s developed a lot of the theory with me since day 1. Definitely small city’s have less options, which is what the big city appeal is… but it’s not always necessary, it just helps a lot.
The whole one night stand issue is a hard one to crack. My opinion is it really depends what you are going for in your life. If you’re focused on finding a long-term girlfriend, cut all the one night stands out of your life and focus on that. If you’re not looking for a girlfriend and just looking to gain more experience, then it’s not the worst thing…
… just remember: Always leave them better than you found them.
@ Travis – Adding some organization and structure to your life helps a lot. Use a calendar. Schedule IN ADVANCE events you’re going to go to like nights out with friends or a show or rock climbing or any similar activities. This helps because then you aren’t making decisions based on your mood, but on what you WANT to do. Email me and I’ll help you out more.
@ PTT – You’re welcome. Thanks for the forum.
@ Juancito – No. I wrote the guide about a year after I had quit gaming for good. I procrastinated on the article for a long time, so I was relieved when I finally got it done.
@CAM- that’s some really good advice esp about the one night stand thing. what’s your thought on the theory of “Nice guys come last”. Do you think super dooper honest guys comes last as in (ie. admitting weaknesses). I think the one place where I am comfortable to meet women are in dance or social dance. What advice do you have for a 31 year old Asian living in Metropolitan Australia? I take it, it would be similar to some cities in Canada..
I have noticed in some meetups(.com), the best social Asians are the ones obsessed about making money. and that shits me. haha. hahah I’ll stick to working on myself, such as dance, keeping slimmer, and be open-minded. I have had bouts of being ‘desperate’ for love, not for sex, do you have any thoughts on this?
Well generally speaking my opinion has always been to go for a long term relationship. However lately I’m starting to realize how little I know a) like how to make a healthy relationship and be in one and b) what I want and don’t want in a girl and c) sexual experience in general. So I’m thinking maybe not necessarily friends with benefits but something along that thought process would workout for me. I just never, ever want to use a girl. That’s something I’m strictly against-I’ve done it before and that’s why I’ve been so put off from this before is because of those past experiences. So I just want to make sure I do leave the girl better off afterwards.
I think eventually I will want to move to a bigger city. For now though I’m content-there’s so much I can work on anyways.
Also I did want to say I am taking the job at Hollister. It’ll only be like 5 hours a week which actually is all I need on my schedule plus it’ll give me ample opportunity to practice social skills. I’m really excited. Plus to be completely honest even though it’s slightly dumb its a bit of an ego boost. I’ve always thought you had to be good enough looking to work there and even if it may not be true it’s kind of cool aha.
I’m on the same page with you on your a) b) c). I never have and I never will use a girl. It’s easy for girls to use us as well, especially if she thinks shes attractive and ‘all that’. I don’t have much advice, I’m getting better and preventing myself from girls playing my heartstrings.
I’m a bit better now, a little more assertive and like “Whatever…take care of yourself. Bye”. I believe this is self-esteem and self-confidence was a major hindrance in childhood, and early adulthood. much like working in Hollister for you! nothing wrong with a good, well presented image/look.
I am working on taking my time, collecting my thoughts, and also noting I don’t have to say every thought in my head. It’s getting alot better!
I would like to add one thing, rather than being ‘desperate for love’, I have focussed on 3 things.
1. Keeping Physically Fit.
2. Do my Latin/Ballroom Bronze Exam on 8th December 2012.
3. Making sure I am a full-time Primary School Teacher as soon as possible.
These 3 things kept my mind completely away from being desperate, and the slight depression that goes with it. I have to say 31, when almost all my friends are in engaged, and married, and half have kids, me being single and doing Ballroom Bronze exams probably sounds just as good, if not better!
One of my chick friends, told me, you can’t love others, until you love yourself. I think this is absolutely true.
@ PTT – The reason nice guys comes last is because nice guys don’t make an effort to be assertive… so they never end up making a move… or when they do, it’s uncalibrated. I don’t think admitting weakness is bad at all. The power of vulnerability (google Brene Brown vulnerability) is very attractive. I use it all the time.
@ Jacob – COngrats on the job! 🙂
@CAM- that’s good advice. i heard also ‘hobbies’ play a part in the paradigm, “nice guys come last”. Thanks.
ie. common hobbies.. I’ll make sure I’m assertive when the time comes. Thanks for all your advice mate. Good luck on the book.
you had me till the moment you mentioned CoD, then i had realized how phony the article was.
@ Harry – Not sure what aspect of the post you found phony, but thanks for checking it out! 🙂
just as i finished reading this running away AC/DC came on. Think I might actually stop playing video games now
and then losing yourself by eminem (my computer knows what I need), which reminds me, music is pretty helpful at getting you motivated in my opinion
Hey CAM, before I write a few things I just want to thank you massively for letting me see my own life in a different perspective, as it made me think a lot .
Now, I know I have a massive problem. Before I ask for any help conquering it I want to tell you my gaming history. I’m 13 years old, when I was 4 years old I started gaming. My cousin introduced me to the very old sonic games which I enjoyed and played for 30-60 mins maximum daily. Then when at about the age of 5 I was introduced to C.S 1.6 by my cousin ( he the one who got me into gaming ). Yes, I played CS 1.6 at the age of 5 years old. I played for a few months and I always looked at games my cousin played, and he helped me to get them so we can play together through cracked servers etc. ( this is where my multi-player stage began). I played games with my cousin, Half Life Deathmatch , CS 1.6 , CSS , Starcraft came in somewhere too I think, MU Online, basicly I was just fucking addicted to games by the age of 10. However it wasnt as bad as it is now. I would go home from school , go to the park play with friends and go home play for 1 hour maximum on those games. Eventually over the years I lost some friends due to gaming addiction, I played more and more and its sad because I love football. I played football all the time but when I was about 10 the only thing I could think about was “when will i get home”, “when will i play this game” etc. It was scary. Now im 13, I have good grades, I do all my homework and I go to a school full of black kids. Now not racist here or anything, I got black friends, but all these chavs are just bullying me and even though i try to be like them I fail. So now im stuck. Im 13, I come home from school, rush my homework and then play for 4-6 hours before having a quick shower and going to sleep. On weekends it can end up being 8-12 hours of playing. Please help me CAM. I don’t know why the fuck im spending 100% of my free time on games. I love games , I love multiplayer games, I love to come home and play with my clan on mw2 . I used to lead a clan called Real, we had a huge youtube fanbase ( 1000+ subs) and thats where it got to me a lot. I loved to play with my members, we had 10+ group skype calls, It was so much fun until I came across your post which made me realise , I’m ruining my life. I dont know why though. I love games so much, all I do now is come home, go invisible on skype, call up my squad buddies and then we go into DayZ (mod for arma 2 ) and just dominate the whole server. I am a very experience player, I got known in the call of duty community as on the of the best snipers and was one of the most respected guys in the whole of the PC Cod community ( Snipers/Trickshotters/Quickscopers) and It was really great for me. But now once again, tell me what I can do to stop this addiction as its scaring me. How can i force myself to stop playing the game that I love so much with all of my skype friends that I dont even know in real life. Now im not fat, I’m a bit chubby and i dont worry about looks, but my IRL social skills are different than in my skype convos. In skype im confident and I feel great talking to all these guys around the world, but in real world I stutter to say Hey how are you to a girl. Its driving me mad and my mum is calling me a fucking robot. Please help CAM as im almost in tears from this…. thanks bud.
wow i didn’t know mw2 multiplayer is still ‘playing’.
all i want to say is that if you truly feel depressed and feel left out in a school, then move to another one. It’s very important, one of my regrets..
i leave the videogame addiction advice to CAM; but hobbies (esp. something that allows you to interact with girls is good, sign up for Latin/ballroom dancing; then you’re mum wont tell you are a robot)… no robot dancing!
uninstall and delete profiles, … CAM should advice you more on this.
@ Mike – AC/DC is great! I used to listen to them a lot during my hockey career. Eminem too, love that track. Good luck in your journey, thanks for commenting!
@ Vlad – You’re welcome! Thanks for commenting. I’m glad you found value in it. Something to pay attention to is that the recognition you get from playing games is very addicting. It makes you feel good right? When you are called one of the best snipers you feel very validated. I know this as I used to suffer from the same thing. It’s important to view your self-esteem and your self-worth from who you ARE not what you do on a video game.
Here’s a private video blog I made for my students a few years ago about “a lesson I learned about a year ago that makes a MASSIVE difference in getting you to make the change you want to make INSTANTLY.” (The video is old and I was younger, don’t judge me lol.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7c2AYPo1kI
If you’re doing the things you say you want to do you’ll feel better about yourself, whereas if you say you’re going to do things (quit playing games) but then you do, you feel worse.
It’s important to find other activities outside games. Do you play sports? Play an instrument? Want to learn another language?
Why do you feel like you can be confident on Skype but not in person? You’re the SAME person!!!
@ PTT – Yes, that advice is great. Breaking your games is very rewarding haha.
Black Ops breaks sales record. $500 million dollars in such a short time. Insane.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/gaming/2012/11/16/call-of-duty-sales-record/1708927/
@ Ben – It’s totally insane hey?
@ Cam…
Those sales just show how much video games are ingrained in our culture. It’s not even an American thing. I have students in Korea who are glued to their smartphones. Are they calling mom? No… Are they doing some type of math problem? No… Do you know what they are doing? They are playing Minecraft! They could play that game for hours. If they are not gaming on their smartphones, they are spending countless hours in the PC rooms which are on every corner in Korea. They are usually playing Diablo or Starcraft. Most young people in Korea don’t own a PS3 or Xbox. Their parents would never allow them in their homes.
Cam, living in South Korea has been great. It’s very Westernized now. You can find most of the foods that you eat in the states, and you can still enjoy Korean fare. I still can’t find 100% whole wheat though! Peanut butter is a bit expensive. I shave to have my vitamins,protein and fish oil shipped from Vitamin Shoppe to Korea. I get hit with a $35 duty charge. I try to do this every 2 months. You can find Koreans who speak a little English and that’s going to depend on where you live. I live in the country so it’s a little more difficult for me to find people who speak English. If I was living in or near Seoul I would have no problem finding Koreans who speak English. In honesty, most of the foreigners who come to Korea hang out with other foreigners. Itaewon has a rather large foreign population, and it’s very common to see Korean women dating foreign men. Not so much where I live.
Oh, and most of the foreigners who come to Korea can hardly speak their language. I have met people who have lived in Korea for over 5 years and they can hardly speak Korean. Maybe it’s ignorance or laziness. I had a co-worker who was in Korea for 7 years and he was married to a Korean lady, and he could put together maybe 5 Korean words. No wonder people hate us. Ha.
I hope that helps.
@Ben- this is very interesting. I would like to go to Korea/overseas actually and teach.
I’m studying Primary school teacher in Australia, and the employment market is bad, well metropolitan full-time work. and theres no respect for teachers as much as Asian Schools.
Do you need to study TESOL? if so what are the best on offer (pricing and recognition)? And as a 31 Hong Kong born, Australian, is there a disadvantage. Any advice would be welcome!
@CAM and @BEN- in addition to my comment to Ben, I’m frustrated to see bad reflections from teachers in Australia, take away marking work, and sometimes even bullying. I don’t know if I should try my luck at Teaching Dance in the far future, or go overseas.
I know you may not be an expert in Teaching in Australia, and I don’t expect you to read the list of comments in the URL below: (but if you quickly scroll from the top to the bottom, the career is far from enticing, esp having been ‘politically’ bullied out of an office job previously in my life)
http://www.badapplebullies.com/victeachersstories.htm
Do you think aiming to be a dance teacher, or teaching overseas at the age of 31 is a good idea. I am under workers compensation from my previous employer, so even though the pay is ‘survivable’, I can take more of a chance/risk to do something i really enjoy, rather than to go into another career which i need to survive one day at a time, and struggle to get out of bed.
(not to mention permanent full-time work in the metro area of Australia capital cities) are known to be hard to come by.
Thanks for any advice. I recall Japan shows some prejudice for ‘Asian’ English teachers. Is this the same as S. Korea?
@Jacob- would you have any advice on Dance Teaching. I’m improving dramatically people say. Maybe in a few years time i can get good enough, to even consider teaching Latin Dancing.. What have been your steps to teach Dancing?
OMG one last thing- women(asian especially??) are not attracted to men, who want to pursue a career that is not stable…well maybe its just me…haha, advice @CAM on how to answer questions “do you own and live in your own home?” “What’s your occupation?”
Final comment, I promise.
First off i would like to say how amazed i am at your commitment to this
this is one of the only articles i have stumble upon the web so actively commented on and maintained
Being cool is something that everyone in high school wants. 10 years ago video games and being cool did not go together in the slightest. sadly this is changing. right now playing black ops 2 is cool, this worry’s me.
The more inactivity we see from the “cool kids” in high school the more everyone else follows suite. from what i have seen of movies that show 10-20 years ago being on the school football team affected you popularity status alot more than it does now. im the outside linebacker on my high school football team, i also play Black Ops 2 on Xbox League of Legends, and competitive SC2. i hangout with the “popular kids” and about 20% of them play football with me while about 85% of them play black ops 2. Weed is also pretty big in my town so that is also a huge aspect of if you are “cool” or not. Being inactive is becoming more and more sociably acceptable.
in short getting stoned and playing video games is becoming the new cool of my generation i want to hear your thoughts on this.
Personally i have had moderate success quitting video games, but with all my friends playing it is quite hard.
i started working out. A lot. surprisingly this gave me the same satisfaction as most video games. i could challenge myself with lifting more, and it had a social aspect of going to the gym everyday. when i first started doing this my parents thought it was a little bit weird, but slowly and surly they became ecstatic about my turn away from video games, and my interest in my own physical health.
Working out is just an idea, and by no means am i the biggest guy you know, im about the smallest guy on the foot ball team at 5’4 and about 130 pounds.
and a last thought is that this forum could be a form of social gaming in itself i am guessing Cam used this Forum to help Distract him from his own personal gaming, and what a success that was. Cam you have found a way to help out THOUSANDS of people who want to quit gaming, while helping yourself.
One last time i would like to tell you who F’in amazing you are Cam. answering all these comments is a life achievement, and you have helped change lives. hopfuly i can build up the determination to shred off the last bit of gaming i do dailey.
Cheers and to everyone all the best of luck, William 16
@William I agree with you man. It scares me. Pot just got legalized in 2 states even though it’s still illegal at the national level. People already drink a ton and video games are getting much more popular. It’s really scary to think what the next generation is going to be like.
Working out is a great idea. I played basketball and football throughout high school and now that I’m in college I still stay active and workout. It really is enjoyable. Plus looking good is a benefit as well 😛
@PTT On the dance instruction thing I’m not sure what to tell you. I got into it at 18 years old (my age now). I needed a job and this really high quality studio hired me I got lucky. They trained me and now I’m working on getting students of my own. My advice for you is to talk/ask studios if they’re hiring. Keep working on your own dancing making sure you learn good habits. I’ve been going for like 3 months and I dance technique-wise probably better than 85% of all our students even though some of them have been coming for years and years. They know more patterns but I have better technique, lead, and follow. And even then I’m still not great compared to other instructors. It takes a lot. Personally I could make decent money there full time. like $40,000 a year if I stuck with it long enough. However most other studios aren’t going to pay that much or give you enough hours I’ve heard… Maybe think of going part time?
im 18 years old
i understand that creating a lifestyle helps… like if i were to decide that i wanted to lift everyday and intake lot of protein and calories to get strong… if i made a lifestyle around that while doing decent in school and work i wouldn’t worry about gaming. or if my lifestyle was getting into paintball hardcore or DJ’ing which whould cost alot of money which is why i dont do hobbies like that of which would help me not game, but honestly it costs to much.
so far i have a situation where i completely quit a game that took over my life for a year
, and i played it only because my friends played it. Right when i quit, a week later all five of my friends quit… then cod black op 2 came out and they are getting too serious into the game. i want to play and invite them over and play during the weekends because i know anything social during those days is not going to be fun, because if i go somewhere its all about getting women; even if i were to go bowling i wouldn’t go to bowl. Everyone in the world is so judgmental and so i feel like i have to look good. This is mainly why i hate going out to do social things, really just hate it. I do sports and im hilarious and fun to be around… i just dont like going out to be social because i cant pull bitches and really thats all there is to do…. thats why kids go to parties and social places. im not an emotional person so i dont know why im messaging you? so nvm, my life story is to long and complicated unlike a normal persons life…. all i see to life is pulling bitches, getting money(which can be achieved through school and college), and not really video games, but there the only fun thing to do. I dont have very much fun going to halloween parties or things like that cause i didnt gain much from going and talking to kids i always talk to at school.
so key to life is:
get women( i always get in the friend zone cause im so nice and im not that great looking)
get money( achieved through working hard at job, and doing good in school which i do)
have fun ( achieved through video games cause nothing is as exciting and challenging) i mean i cant go anywhere i want in the world to have fun, like if i like surfing wakeboarding and snowboarding… i cant make it my passion cause i live at home…. should i just wait to get out of highschool to do those fun things… do you think college will change my whole perspective?….
by the way im a really late grower for being an 18 year old, like ill be done growing when im 23.
@Jacob- thanks for the advice! I certainly want to pursue more of it.
@William- its kinda true- this generation ‘Z’ – i would hate to live in this generation, I’m generation Y heck im 31 so playing games back in the 80s/90s wasn’t especially cool, but it wasn’t seen as bad either. Can’t comment about weed, other than it obviously permanently damages your brain/body after continued use. To be honest i wouldn’t like to be any younger- Celine Dion/Mariah Carey over Justin Bieber and all the other crap music artists anyday. LOL.
@Drew Lawrence- hobbies good ones at that need investing, time and money. Here is a short list i wrote down for myself:
Basketball
Tennis
Squash
Soccer
American Football
(Meetups offer a great opportunity for this).
Salsa Dancing
Ballroom Dancing
Tricking
Hip Hop
Signing up for meet ups at Meetup.com
Calling and keeping in touch with friends on a regular basis.
Networking
Exercising and getting addicted to that: Burpees, Aerobics, interval based running.
Meditation
Networking (Entrepreneurship)
Martial Arts
Reading Books
and alot more if you think hard enough, some are cheaper than others, and you can ask your parents for cash/loan (you are still 18).
i can sorta understanding friends ‘getting bitches’, well i dunno hang out with others maybe? at least ones that don’t have such a dis-respectful attitude towards ladies.
im 31, luckily i look like 23 so it can help with dancing not to mention im fitter now then i ever was in my mid to late 20’s..no joke. thanks @JACOB.
Cheers.
@ Jacob.
one final note, sorry guys, i am under the wing of one of the best commercial Dance Academy in the state of Australia, the owner is the president of Dance Australia and has a few Champions. Thanks for the advice, I will pursue this dream. and financially i can support myself anyhow already, so anymore more income would be a bonus.
40,000 that’s pretty decent. AUD and USD about the same now. Thanks once again.
well i go to a school where theres 60 kids in my senior class, so theres not very many choices of friends to choose from, and im friends with literally every kid in the school but no one at my school ever does anything! and maybe i havent tryed very hard to make true friends… so far ive hung out with the sporty kids who go to parties which they are sorta douches just a little :/ and then theres the sporty kids who play video games… and right when i quit this game they start a different game of which they want me to play otherwise we have nothing in common!?
im glad i quit this one game called (league of legends) but its because my parents forced me to… now they wont let me play video games at all (even tho im 18 and they still control me like crazy) … anyways i wanted to buy a ps3 because ive been going over to a friend’s house to play cod black op2 with him, and so i get to play probley 8 hours a week… but i dont want to keep doing this cause i feel like im using him to play cod black ops 2… i just want to buy a ps3 and get cod blackops 2(but parents wont let me!) i work right after school mon-fri and i make good money for being in highschool… after the weekdays im kinda tired and just want to play video games….
so my situation
-no good friends that ive tryed to find
-im always bored of anything but video games kinda
i know people say theres better things to do, but i dont feel like there is at the moment…. i mean im not going to go out and pull biatches , at least until im out of my awkeward stage, so im just not going to worry about women.
what would you suggest i do friday since its thxgiving week and i dont have school thursday and friday and i dont work…like honestly… and it has to be social because the only thing i can think of would take up an hour out of the day, which is weight lift at the gym with a couple kids that want to weight lift. otherwise i would have like 14 hours free which means i would probs want to spend it on like 5 hours of video games! but what if i were to not want to spend it on that, what would i do?
and by the way, if i were to do 5 hours of video games out of the 14 hours …. 3 hours would be spent on tv and computer, an hour would be spent on eating, an hour would be spent on playing soccer with my neighbors( who i would end up paying video games with) and i dont know what else i would spend my time on….
honestly video games are every where,
like as im telling you this with my school laptop at school…. the kid sitting by me is playing video games!
at 31 im still having a problem not looking at BlackOps2 Wii-U with the remote and nunchuck being cooler than a controller lmao, and i am still pissed Counterstrike Global Offensive is not out on EUR PSN. I know when you mix good motion controllers and FPS i will be addicted as %^$#, mind the swearing but it helps emphasis my addictive nature, much like Forza4 and the microsoft steering wheel.
at your age Drew, i think its way harder still, with the social norms being there. there was a clip about videogame addiction UK “BBC`s panorama” Part 1/1. it showed a kid who was addicted CODMW2, and whatnot. A good mid-way is to only play blops2 at your friends house actually, its a good limiter, the UK youtube clip mentioned prior seemed to work wonders for the CODMW2 addict. (I dont think you are even addicted). Anyhow, this is prob a wiser choice than buying a ps3 (the whole reason you wanted to go on this site is at least limit your playtime, forcing yourself to be a friends house is a good way). Maybe when you go to your friends place to play abit of blops2, make sure you hang and eat well, do something outside throw a frisbee, play soccer, … if they are avid gamers tho, this is probably hard. wait for CAM’s response…but don’t scare yourself with videogames, the fear maybe causing you more anxiety than is necessary.
If there are no good friends, I would personally try to pursue myself to go to another high school. I regret going to a single sex elitest public school, when the co-ed was probably better and i seemed to have more friends. Going to the right school is more important than what people may perceive at the time, because your high school friends should stay for a decade or two, maybe even for life.
I have left my consoles at my brothers house, and i prob dont want to play hardly any games at his house tho because of my age, and niece and nephew to attend to.
im gonna try my luck at being a dance teacher, and that takes dedication. that seems to be my driver now to really stop even thinking of getting CS : GO, or a Wii-U. What CAM says in his article is true, if you REALLY have an inspiration via profound hobby, videogames was slowly creep in your mind, as a total *beep waste of time.
have you tried Hip Hop/Latin or any other forms of Dancing i see kids the average child age of 9 or above dance very well. you get to treat ladies and women with respect and you can show the kids not to just see *itches as objects. 😀
Maybe your parents would like it and may help pay for the Dancing. good things unfortunately comes at a price, and I think happiness that results is bloody priceless. getting a good killstreak in Blops-not so much. Cheers mate.
ya thats a good idea, im just going to drop it about getting a ps3 and quit fighting my parents…. ill just play black ops 2 for fun at my friends houses, we usually play zombies … playing only when im at other peoples houses will be a good limiter 🙂 i think im just having a problem with it right now cause everyone at my school is playing blop2 because it just came out…. they’ll get bored of it in like a month 🙂
@Drew
Hey man it’s good that your talking here and communicating and trying to figure out what to do. That’s a good first step. Now for me personally do me a favor. However things work out for you the next few weeks or months even keep updating us on here. I have friends that are in the same position as you and I really want to get them off playing video games so much.
Alright first and foremost me and Cam disagree a bit. He wants you to quit completely-not even touch them. I rarely play video games however a couple weekends ago I had my buddies come over and we were dunking on our hoop outside, eating and then we played halo 4 for like 5 hours all on the same team. I had a blast I hadn’t done that in a long time. And I those 5 hours I just played were like the most I had played in 3 weeks or so. If you do things like that it’s much better than how things are going now. My own brother goes to school, has practice, than plays blackops 2 for like 5 hours everyday. Alone-not socializing just playing. This is bad imo.
How can you stop? Like we said find replacements. If you don’t know anything that you find more fun than video games TRY NEW STUFF. seriously its so fun to try and learn a new hobby. Sometimes I have too many things I want to do because its all so fun. And not all of it has to be expensive. I personally go tricking. Which once you get good enough you can literally do it for free on grass. Otherwise you can spend like $10 a week to go to a gymnasium open gym and spend 2 hours there.
Keep lifting, stretch and get more flexible.
Rock climbing, pool table, ping pong, learn how to do a handstand, practice singing, meditate in your room which sounds lame but if your stressed just focus on taking huge breaths in and out and you’ll relax. For me personally I relax by doing that and watching anime. which i do like 30 min a day not too much just enough to chill out. I also don’t watch tv at all so anime fills that.
become proficient in looking up songs. You could be that kid who is always showing others new music. search the internet all the tiem for it. read current events and news. go to the library and GET A BOOK. lookup info on wikipedia. these are all thigns you can do to improve yourself and make yourself into a better individual.
if you don’t find fun in those things then keep searching. keep working out. maybe try and play an instrument. literaly talk to kids at school and find everyones hobbies if you don’t know them. if it sounds interesting ask them if they can teach you or you can tag along sometime. I can tell you that you can do all these things on your own. I do-even though I don’t find it as fun. But if you can find a group of friends its sooo much more fun.
Lastly on the topic of girls and “bitches”. go ahead and keep being funny and talking to them and being “friend zoned”. its fine. focus on yourself instead. Make yourself better and people will start to look at you differently. You know the quote “You have to love yourself before others can love you” ? Think of it like that. But still keep talking to girls. There people too and you can get experiences and different perspectives on life from them.. I personally have one girl “friend” thats in college and I fb message her all the time and she messages me and we talk about girl or guy problems to eachother. It’s very good to have someone of the opposite sex for advice. And if you really like them don’t worry about it. Staying friends with them I’ve learned is a lot better than it seems.
If you have any more questions just let me know but hopefully that gives you a bit of hope.
Seriously spend that 14 hours researching stuff you can do or ways you can meet people. or evaluate yourself. then if your tired of thinking (which happens aha) just chill, relax and try to “not think”. or maybe watch 30 min of tv and start up again. or just listen to music. Alright-goodluck bro!
It’s so true if you allow yourself that future, where you still can play videogames, but the way JACOB describes it, it takes out all the anxiety, fears, and obsessive worrying about something(videogames playing) that probably would have done less harm then your fears at the first place. I used to be until very recently that somewhat guy who wants to find love, loving yourself has done wonders for my self-esteem. I’d rather love myself and be single then have a partner who doesn’t respect me for who i am, because i didn’t even bothered to love myself. (a previous relationship)…and yes i have one chick friend who i fb’ed alot, its great, although now shes a bit busy but she still seems to reply eventually. (married and busy work-wise)..so i’m ok with that.
Good luck as well. if you consider the price of a ps3 and related games, you can prob find some activity that you can afford instead. 😀
Hey CAM, thanks a lot for the fast response 🙂 Ive read what you wrote to me and after a few more nights of playing i relised that video games arnt such a problem to me. Im young, im 13 and I see nothing wrong with playing video games. So then i promised myself i will find other things to do to cover up some of my gaming time. I already do thursday swimming and friday parkour for 2 hours but now I signed up for boxing on tuesdays (2hrs) and saturday kickboxing(1hr) also i got another private swimming lesson for monday and i go to sleep early because i started joging in the morning too. So even though i cant quit video games and i dont want too, I found activites that will moderate my time to about 30mins or less on school days. Im really happy now as I can build grt stronger throughout my activitee and enjoy a few hours of gaming on the weekend. So thanks a lot CAM im very happy but i still got 1 more concern , Im not confident talking to people irl and girls too.. i dont know why bro c: … on skype im so confident and. an say anything i want and we all just laugh. but other than that cam thanks man and il post an update in a few months if possible 😛 bb now and ty once again , u rock dude :]
when it comes to addiction i think its also has to do alot with our personalities, whether you are impulsive and enjoy quick fixes. I think I do so now im more ‘addicted’ to go to all sorts of meetup groups (I want to reduce it though). lol, at least my social skills are improving. @CAM that indo girl i was mentioning about at dance, well i built up so many social skills over just a month at meetup.com; that i talked to her so well, its the confidence, and being engaged in her conversation. unfortunately i think she has a partner, oh well 😀 plenty of fish in the sea. Thanks CAM, things are turning around for me finally. that impulsive nature has helped me do dance even better. 😀
@ Ben – It’s totally insane. And I believe the problem is only going to get worse. Doing research for my book has been terrifying as well. Seeing 84 million kids in the USA playing video games, etc… it’s a growing problem. I’m glad you’re having a good time in South Korea. I’ve met quite a few guys in these comments who are living in South Korea teaching English, they all seem to enjoy it. I was just in Costa Rica for a few weeks and I didn’t speak a dime of Spanish. This definitely made it more difficult to engage, so I understand how people must feel in South Korea.
@ PTT – Wouldn’t that be hilarious if you went! I bet you’d scare them with your accent.. ha! Teaching dance would be a great opportunity too! I know as a teacher myself I’ve developed the teaching skill… so it would translate to other areas as well. Women will naturally be attracted to “stable” type jobs… but at the same time many women can be very attracted to a guy who’s willing to be risky and go off on his own to live the life of his dreams. Also, sometimes it’s just that they don’t understand your career choice as much so educating them on it is key. I’ve written a post before about the myth of “job security”. Check it out here: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/job-security-is-a-farce/
Also thanks for your great replies to Drew. Your advice was spot on!
@ William – Thanks for commenting! I’m super glad you found value in the post. The only reason I’m able to stay engaged with the comments is because there are new comments by guys like you all the time. It means a lot to me that each of you continue to comment and discuss this topic. I definitely agree with you that there’s a weird social validation from being lazy and inactive. It’s part of our culture that needs to change, quickly.
A parallel I would draw is a recent segment on 60 Minutes about the jobs crisis in the USA. Many people think that the reason millions of people are out of work in the USA is because nobody is hiring… but this segment said the complete opposite: it stated that, in the manufacturing industry as an example, it’s not that there are no jobs – it’s that the industry can’t find qualified workers to fill the jobs! Interestingly enough… another crisis the USA has is the education system, ranking poorly in many important subjects. Do we really think this education problem wasn’t going to catch up to us? I believe the culture of being lazy and inactive is going to have a similar crisis in the future. (I do want to state clearly I’m not drawing the parallel of people being uneducated because they are lazy. I’m merely drawing the parallel between one crisis leading to another, as there could be MANY reasons why so many people are uneducated these days, such as high tuition costs, etc.)
I definitely think working out is a great hobby everyone should have. One of the reasons you get the same feelings from video games as you do with working out is because of the dopamine released when you do it! Thanks for the comment!
@ Drew – Hey! Thanks for commenting and opening up about how you feel… this takes a lot of courage. There’s many great ideas people have replied to you. Remember this: there is MUCH MORE to life than simply getting girls, getting money, and having fun. You should consider reading a book: “A Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl.
@ Jacob – Thanks for commenting and adding your input, especially for Drew.
@ Vlad – Thanks for replying! Have you checked out any of the other articles on the site? There’s lots of articles on how to talk to people and all of that jazz! Definitely check them out. Remember… on Skype you are YOU… so you just need to open yourself up and not be scared to show who you are in person! Good luck man.
@CAM- i did a quick google search on prejudice towards Asians and African Americans (stereotypes) that exist to teaching in South Korea. It certainly exists and I would probably have to work harder for a job there. Nonetheless one of the key elements of a job, and the values i look in a job is anti-discrimination; hence I would decide not to even bother! It would be hilarious, because of I have an Australian Accent(an Hong Kong(where i came from) American tourist in Japan said) and i say ‘mate’ here and there and ‘bloody’ once in a while. been downunder since 1985; so you get my drift.
the comment and article you linked was very insightful, and I couldn’t agree more. I totally agree I used to work in an organisation here that is similar to the IRS from the states, with more than 20,000 employees. Any person would think that this would be the safest and secure job out there- wrong. At the end of the day, If you don’t fit with the corporate culture eg. you think outside the square and the ‘IRS-equivalent’ wants you to be micromanages- they can think of all sorts of ways to a) make your life hobbile. b)find ways to sack you, and if they need to have a procedure to sack you, such as warning, and appraisals, – they will make sure they will do it.
It’s so true about skill building, and Dance is one of the reasons I want to pursue it as a teaching career path.
Fancy you talk about teachers union in the education. I don’t know about Canada, but here the teachers union is very fierce, having regular strikes at the expense of students. If you want to turn up to work to teach kids, while all the old fart women are striking- you’ll look like a dis-agreeing person.
One of the meetups told me to continue studying with my Bachelor in Education (Primary) degree and i’m quite certain I want to finish it. It will help in Dancing nontheless because im majoring in Physical Education. My dream job would be dancing, and Primary school teaching would be a good back-up.
Total Kudos to your article about Job Security is a Farce, it’s true, Primary school teachers who invested their lives in a career are now being kicked out due to age. So I totally agree. If you are late once in your career- they can pin it against you, much like many factors that they pinned on me while I was majorly depressed. even pinning me on things that I already improved upon, like being punctual. Job security- chuckle, there is no such thing. Self-improvement, and building skills- thats the security.
Right On! CAM.
Great article Cam, slapped me in the face with some things i kinda knew but didn’t want to acknowledge. I’ve never really gamed when I was a teenager mainly because my family never gave any priority to buying tech stuff (we still got a shitty T.V. and a windows 98, ha!). I used to compete in karate tournaments, workout, go out with friends, get top grades and never really cared for having a real relationship until later on.
But when I left home for college it was like a Pandora’s box was opened! At first my goal was to breeze through college and get a job and be independent ASAP and that was a firm resolve in my head, first two years I only got A’s and occasional B’s…
But slowly and surely the video-games started taking up more and more of my time. Eventually I got sucked into an MMO and from then on my life spiraled and crashed. Pretty much wasted this last year, dropped out of college (never ever thought it’d happen to me) and had to move back in with my folks… Right now I’m trying to get back on track, but it’s so HARD. I’ve already dropped the MMO and occasionally play a single-player game I have but I can’t seem to get back into the routine I used to have. I constantly find myself thinking about games and starting up a new MMO.
I was about to do that today but then I found your article. Thanks a lot for pointing out the 4 things I need so I can completely drop gaming. I’m thinking on joining a gym again, and if I pass my college entrance exams I’ll be sure to rework on my social skills.
@JAMES- the 4 things that were mentioned by CAM is great. Sometimes it can be purely how good the ‘gameplay’ works that keeps you hooked..you know the games that score 8 or 9 out of 10..i can get hooked by a singleplayer BOT match of CS-source, for instance, well at least some people do. singleplayer left for dead, not so much haha.
at the end of the day, I’m finding you just have sacrifice one love for another love (as in things to do- not relationships in this instance)..that love can be a hobby, or it can be that firm resolve to do well at college, and be independant, and being honest and transparent with yourself- self-esteem that you can follow through with your ambitions and goals etc. It’s tough to think you need to stop something like videogames which seems cheap affordable and a time-filler. I guess an analogy, bad as it may, are women who want kids, but need to have later in life, because of their career. I’m finding that ‘sacrifice’ and knowing at the end of each week, not having an xbox or ps3 at home, is better for me in the long run. Do I get tempted, do I think sometimes that sucks, for sure..but it’s a choice, and a rational choice at that.
also I wish you goodluck with getting into college, maybe choose another college, so that your future employee wont see your previous year’s results..I take it college=university?
Hey! Great article!! This was a tremendous article written by somebody who actually experiences the addiction which makes all the difference. I played video games casually growing up. My first online social experience when I was about 15 a game called runescape, I was constantly leveling up gaining weapons armor and making clan friends. We were the best”at least in our eyes” do to circumstances I had toget rid of the computer and later that same year bought a ps3. And that’s where my addiction exploded call of duty black ops1 I was there on the release night not even knowing anything about the game my friends wanted me to tag along so I did. Then I ended up liking it so much I bought a copy for myself until just 3 days ago I played it like a RELIGION for three years Id go to work come home and play. I grew to be an angry person a few examples my friends would ask me to go for a hike and such maybe get a bit stones and chill with some hunnies I’d be like” na I’m good bro”, my pregnant girlfriend would get so mad because I always had an excuse for not wanting to spend every waking moment with her whic makes sence I knocked her up and pushed her away and I’ll ALWAYS REGRET THAT as we now barely communicate civilly. Having quit I feel like my brain has been re-activated. I’m having fun socializing at party’s with friends meeting cute women. It’s a great support system to hear I wasnt the only wierdo haha on y first week of 120%cold turkey and I already feel AMAZING
@Blake- It’s good to hear that you quit, for the reasons that you have stated above. May I ask is she your ex-girlfriend now? Obviously if you don’t want to answer me you don’t have to. Personally if you still consider her as a gf, I would see it through. If she realises the relationship is not healthy, that is fine as well, hence ex-gf.
I just realised the situation you described is most likely far more complex than I initally thought. All I can say is be kind to your pregnant gf, and be kind to yourself. Cheers and good luck with things.
Thanks for the article. You’re spot on, on so many levels. I threw away a perfectly good life, a college degree, and graduate school admission to spend 16 hours a day playing GW2 and Tera.
I covered my ass, eating deep into my savings while lying to everyone around me, telling them that I was working on a startup when in reality I was doing anything but.
It’s still the dream and the business groundwork is there, from back when I wasn’t in so deep and I “had time” for other things. Starting a business and becoming independent is still the goal, but now I see that it’ll never happen unless I quit. Completely quit.
It’s so weird getting up in the morning and feeling simple things like eating and taking a shower are a chore, craving a few more minutes of playtime.
It’s time to delete a few things…hopefully permanently this time around. I’m almost 27 now and if I wait any longer, I’m afraid it’ll be too late to fix the damage I’ve done to my own life. Thanks again for the post.
Well to awnser your question yes she is my ex now. We had our son almost two years ago, she leans twords us trying to revitalize our relationship. When I came to realize I was so caught up in my gaming I wasn’t aware of who I was with. While I do wish in a way I had realized the errors of my ways in the same thought I’m kinda glad
Things went down like they did as she treated me even before my gaming addition like a pet.
If that makes sence? If I didn’t bark in the tone she liked all hell would break loose she was a compulsive liar, and turned out to be a cheater. I even had to get a DNA test to make sure my son was actually my son. And I wasn’t even aware of the possibility of him not being my son till he was a year and a half old. Talk about heart wrenching , but thankfully he was my son. I was always so Caught up in games and stuff i guess she found attention somewhere else and who am I to blame her I wasnt the man I needed to be. While I feel disgust as she could look at me for almost two years not knowing if Isaac was mine and just bury it away until it had eaten her so much she felt obligated to tell me. I don’t hate her and I Cherish my boy he’s turning 2 on February 4th
Ah i see I had a gf who had a portion of the characteristics which I thought was quite toxic. she always wanted the advantage financially, and me do chores at her home, but not mine.. and would even assess whether im lazy/a mummy’s boy. stupid.
well best of luck with things, yeah quite the black ops (and don’t buy a wii-u /black ops2) hang out with your friends! Be a good role model for Isaac.
Cheers.
I decided not to get anything else game related I quit cold turkey and then found this article while I was surfing the web. I had to grow up sometime turning 20 I’d say it’s about time. Thanks and I wish you a safe journey AWAY from the curse of gaming. peace out man
@Rob, soo true man I’ve been right there, I was probably around 16-18 at darkest parts of gaming addiction. I’m 19 now turning 20 and just recently quit cold turkey my Innital thought was I’m going to miss it so badly it was my favorite hobby for so long, where as now I regained a hobby that takes up time and is productive. Working out is phenomenal wether it’s with a gym partner or my prefered gym partner MUSIC, music is the absolute best for working out it allows you to focus at the goal at hand which may be squats, press, dead lifts and what have you. As long as you can replace a bad habit with a productive one you won’t even care that you quit I did the same with smoking cigarettes now instead of being a chronic smoker I’m a chronic gum chewer haha. I’ve been in Been shoes and now the struggle best of luck brother peace out 🙂
@PTT
I am a Special Education teacher who wanted to visit and experience Asia before I got too old. I am 43 years old now. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to secure a teaching job because of my age. I’ve read online articles about how most schools hire young 20 somethings and it’s very difficult to get a job if you’re an older person. I guess two things were in my favor: 1. I look a lot younger than my true age. When I first came to South Korea I was 41 years old. People were always asking me about my age and I don’t like to lie. When I told them that I was 42 their jaws would drop. Everyone thought I was like 32. In Korea it’s very common for people to ask your age. Luckily, I still have a full head of hair and few wrinkles. For now anyway… 2) I am a certified educator. I also have classroom experience which means a lot. I can easily control a classroom and I can give a good lesson. I don’t need someone to train me. The issue a lot of schools have is they are hiring people who don’t have education degrees. They also have zero classroom experience. They are going to have to be trained and this means time and energy. Contracts are normally 1 year so if the school hires someone who has zero teaching experience, it’s going to be 6-8 months before that person is going to be decent in the classroom. By then, the person is almost done with their contract and will probably leave. Most people tend to leave after 1 year. The school has to repeat the same process all over again with a new recruit. It can get very tiring. If you are going to have a teaching degree then you should be fine. You don’t need a TESOL or TEFOL if you have an education degree. I don’t have one.
South Korea has been good. I’m on my second year at the same school. As I stated previously, most people normally don’t last two years at the same school. I guess I am in the minority.
Anyway, you have two types of schools in Korea. Hagwons and public schools. You can do research online. I will just briefly explain both schools. Hagwons are privately owned schools. They can range in size from very small to large. I work at a hagwon that is franchised. They supply us with the material, so we don’t have to develop the curriculum. It makes it very easy. We have a large student body so the chance that my school will go under is nil. We get paid on time and the boss is decent. She leaves me alone because I’ve already proven myself. Yes, schools can go under and you can lose your job. Also, there are bad bosses who withhold pay and they can make you life in South Korea a living hell. You need to choose wisely. Talk to other teachers who work at the school that you are looking at. How do they like it? Do they get paid on time? What about their apartments? Are they decent or are they shit holes? Research, research and do more research before you decide to work at a specific hagwon. The one big downside to my hagwon is I work 9.5 hours per day. I work from 10-7:30. I am not teaching all day, but it still makes for a very long and exhausting day. The other type of teaching job you might want to pursue is in the public school sector. Public schools tend to be easier. Normally people work from 8:30 to 4:30. You are in a classroom with 30 kids and a Korean co-teacher. You also might be the only foreign teacher in the whole school as well. In comparison, I work with 5 Americans and my class size is very small. I have 6 kids to teach in most of my classes. In the afternoon, I have 2 classes that only have 2 students. You need to do your research.
I’ve met a lot of Australians who have come to South Korea to teach. They are loving it here. I wouldn’t put on your resume or mention that you were born in Hong Kong. I think that it might decrease your chances in securing a teaching job. Then again, I have met a ton of Africans who are teaching in South Korea. If they can find work then you should have no problem. It’s sad but Koreans tend to look down on anything black.
The job market for regular education teachers is awful. You are a male so that would work to your advantage if you pursued a job teaching minorities at the elementary level. At the last school I was at we had one opening for a 3rd grade elementary school teacher. We had over 300 applicants! For one stinking opening. Guess who got the job? The mayor’s daughter. Nobody stood a chance. Politics…
Well good luck and I hope that I answered your questions.
@Ben- thanks for the advice. Teaching career in S. Korea is definitely a possibility. I am of 100% Asian heritage (facial characteristics), which I know quite confidently will be a reason for some prejudice (where i heard its a little harder, but you need persistence).
There are two other possibilities as well a career in Dance, or to work in Australia, the further away from the city the easier. I’d rather work in an area of non-discrimination and there are a number of asians who leave by their mid-20’s. Nonetheless I’m glad you are enjoying your work in S. Korea. I have heard some stories of Aussies working in Malaysia as well due to several reasons you would know of (respect, prospects etc.) Going overseas is definitely an option and the cultural changes will prove difficult yet interesting, and I only hope Asian countries sees past the bloody age, and ethnicity in the years ahead.
@Blake- i didn’t see videogames as a possible curse, but i do so now…because it takes away from family and hobby/passion time and energy. I think going to an arcade machine and having a blast on Time Crisis 2 is good enough for me, that i played today. (the fact that you need to pay $1 each time reminds me it aint worth it anymore).
________
meetup.com does sound corny, but it’s proving fantastic- i went to an art gallery meetup and met many new friends men and female through the last 3 months. the fact that strangers can transition to friendships so quickly can be an addictive hobby as well!
@PTT
South Korea leads the world in plastic surgery. The number one procedure is double eyelid surgery. They get this so they can have more westernized eyes. Also, nose jobs are very popular. Why? Because they want more Western type noses. Botox and Juverderm are very popular. Also, skin bleaching is big here. All to look white.
So you can see why Koreans would have prejudice towards people of color.
@Ben- wow i’ve heard about the double eyelid surgery.. damn bleaching…and nose jobs…it’s an unfortunate thing…
But other than that I would love to go to S. Korea for a holiday, and I loved my times in Japan- the cherry blossoms. I just think a culture of loss of pride for one’s own physical characteristics and prejudice is way too hard for me to digest.
____
@Blake-
as for videogame addiction and the curse…i agree when i play an addictive videogame, im activating that addictive, obsessive, anti-social, impulsive, short-term happy chemical thing inside my brain, while de-activating the relaxed, sentimental, creative, and long-term happy and achieving part of my brain. its hard to explain. But it feels true, I hope I can take that into consideration and quit games for good.
that excitement and adrenaline, turns quickly into a meaningless- that always regrettable if i spend more than an hour or two.. and that time is hard to shorten because of the addictive nature of games…with all addictions there usually is some sort of catch-22 that makes it hard to resolve unless you firmly decide to quit the game that i am addicted to.
turns quickly into a meaningless regrettable emotion- that regret comes in if i spend more than an hour or two.. and th…
i hope my emotional explanation can help others on this forum.
Good Luck, mate(s). 😀
thus the Videogame/Porn relationship, and possible applying theories to drug addicts and people who bully other people, its that meaningless, short term gain of feeling better…?
sorry, just my train of thought/contention.
Just a question that popped into my head, and I figure I’d ask. What do you guys think about fort nox. Is there gold in your opinions?
yes, from die hard 3 with a vengeance there was gold in fort knox.
😀
no idea.
should i get Counterstrike Global offensive PSN? my ps3 is at my brother’s place…
decisions decisions. i already have $30 on my PSN account.
CS GO PS3- no, im not going to buy it…or any other thing for that matter- until i reach a point where my career, family life, and dance life has already peaked, and stabled, and everlasting, -that will be ages yet.
@PTT
-great advice… i played call of duty for like 5 hours one day at my friends house during the weekend, it really got boring… no joke. The next week after that was easy to not play any video games. Im going to probs end up playing only once a month, which is perfectly fine, which im doing because video games arent as fun as i thought they were.
Ive been looking up alot of music and finding awesome songs, like dubstep, techno, rap, and just everything… im really passionate about music. kids at my school ask me to make them Cd’s cause they know that i know what good music is. (this has all happened in the last two weeks)
although i know i can minimize the amount of video game playing i do or just completely stop… i still haven’t found a good group of friends. honestly im friends with everyone at my school… the group i hang out with now are the gamers…
im going to try hanging out with the kids from my work and go to a movie or somethin.
thx ptt again, your advice made alot of sense!
@ PTT – If you want to pursue Dance as a career path you should definitely talk to Kevin too! He’s part of a breakdancing crew and he knows a million dancers who do it for a living. I’ll e-mail you his contact info. I think teacher unions everywhere are fierce! Unions in general are like that right?
Thanks again for all your continued support in these comments. It REALLY REALLY helps me out to have you contribute to other peoples questions. You mean a lot to me.
@ James – Thanks for your comment! Definitely join a gym again and maybe even get back into Karate! I bet you used to love it. If you need any help with your social skills, email me: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
@ Blake – Thanks for checking it out! I’m really glad you liked it. I definitely noticed my brain feeling re-activated after I quit too. It’s like a shell is lifted off and I can actually think again! If you need any help, I’m here for you.
@ Rob – Thanks for checking out the article. 27 isn’t too late to start! You can do it. Have you read 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss? It’s great! Highly recommended. Let me know if I can help you out in any way, obviously i have a bit of experience starting a business and becoming independent!
@ Ben – Thanks for all your info about teaching in South Korea!
I also second meetup.com. It sounds lame (like PTT) said, but it’s a fantastic resource.
Wow! lots of nice people here.
@PTT- Yea college =university hehe. And I think the aspect of the game that was toughest for me to get over was the action…. It’s like my life had gone into a routine. For sure I had no cash so for me to get some adrenaline in it had to be cheap. Games gave that to me for a while but it always got old. For single-players my university had a hub with most of them for free! And I also found a couple of free to play mmos that the pay to win aspect was tolerable. But none of them could rival the unique feeling I got from karate… Each fight was unique, it could be with the same person but you still had so many things racing in your head and your mind and instincts try to meld into one. Too bad a number of small things didn’t let me pursue my training while I was in college.
@CAM- I’m back in my hometown for now and I’ve been reconnecting with High-school friends.
If I get into a university there’s a thing in my country called “trote” which is like pranks seniors pull on new people (like make them beg on the street and painting their faces and make them drink alot). I didn’t participate the first time around because my old college wasn’t here, but should I go for it this time? Lots of people get to know each other during these and make friends, but then again it is well out of my comfort zone (don’t let people order me around unless I’m paid haha). It’ll kinda depend in which university I pass too… If it’s one with my old friends in it I might do it ’cause they know my limits.
Thanks for the support cam 😀 just as a bit if an update still Havnt touched a video game, and when my friends talk about it it’s more like a “oh yeah, that’s awsome!” “nice dude!”. Even though I have virtually no intrest Which feel great. My performance at work apparently sky rocketed. Because I got a raise out of nowhere. If your here reading this article SERIOUSLY consider this article. It changed my life and to the author I’m FOREVER grateful.
Thanks for appreciation guys, it means alot (especially because im learning to become a teacher). teachers dont expect to be rich, but thanks means a big difference.
@CAM0 I have contacted Kevin. thanks for the contact!
I was thinking the culture can be added element of fierce, they can be a little rude, and obnoxious, i don’t know how we compare to Americans and Canadians.
@Blake- the promotion- That’s good news Blake.
So I don’t know what to do. This article spoke to me, but I am not sure how I should go about quitting. I love gaming, its been one of my only hobbies since I can remember. All of my friends play, and that’s what we do when we hang out. I don’t like how much money I spend on gaming, the amount of time I spend on it, the lack of sleep, and the feeling that I am just wasting my life. I feel like if I would stop, I would get teased at first, (by friends), then lose them due to lack of common interests. I honestly don’t know what my other hobbies are, and ive become very stubborn towards new ideas as of late. I just lost my job, I havent been back to college in a year and a half, and my parents want to throw me out for not having a job. (its been 2 weeks.) I am just not in a good spot. I feel like without my crutch, (gaming) I would be even more miserable and depressed than I am now. I even sometimes ignore responsibility for gaming, my girlfriend, (not to an extreme but still, it is rude) and pushing my life forward. That being said, I think a good first step would be for me to turn off my xbox and go to sleep.
@ Charlie hey man I can relate to the sleep deprevation and ignoring things that should have priority (Aka girlfriend and such). I tried decreasing the time that i played, and that resulted in me mysteriously having more then a normal amount of free time and that’s what I chose to do in my free time. Hobbies are easy to replace I’ve been gaming since I was 10 turning 20 in January super Nintendo was my first system so I understand the love of gaming! But I chose to give it up and I’m SO much more happy I replaced the Bobbie with working out and is gotten into top shape. Got a raise at my job recently and have a new super cute girlfriend. There’s so much of life to experience man. I’ve made a bunch of new buddies at the gym and just being more social. As for the sleep deprevation it’s horrible for you basic tasks tend to be half assed being groggy all the time sucks. It may sound harsh to cut games out all together but it’s totally worth a try bro trust me, and your friends your worries about losing I had the same situation and now all my gaming buddies( I knew in real life) now hit the gym with me as much as possible actually bringing our friendship through the roof! I totally vouch For you just to try It if you need any help support or just need to vent I’m here for ya man.
im starting today. none of that tommorrow bullshit. I set a timer to 2 hrs a week and then the password cant be put in. i dont want to completely give them up, but i definitely want to be more active. i have friends, lots of them, who the majority play video games. but they play like from when they get home to when the ly go to bed! Fuck that! i cant wait till football starts! 1 year ago was when i got my xbox. 1 year ago is also when i stopped baseball and now i regret it. i am going to try something new too. football. xbox has taken over the past year of my life and has made me hate microsoft. every day i hate them more. that alos kind of acts as a motivation for me to go out and do shit! YEA MOTHAFUCKAS!!!!!
@Trevor THAT’S THE SPIRIT!! tomorrow never ever comes it’s just an excuse to prolong the gaming. As for hating Microsoft try and think of it like the tabacco industry. Yes they put out and addictive product but you have to be stronger then the addiction. So many people deny gaming can be an addiction(they’ll argue it to the death and claim for it to be a hobby). Okay as for hobbies my main one is the weight room where i spend a half hour to an hour daily that’s a reasonable amount of time for a hobby wouldn’t cha say? Where as i too know people who will spend 5-9 hours consecutively gaming taking breaks only to eat and use the rest room. Best of luck with your journey man! Football was my favorite sport all through high school enjoy!!
@BLAKE and Trevor- that’s a good analysis in regards to ‘microsoft and tobacco’. I also started to hate Microsoft and Turn10 for Forza4. you guys have cemented the fact i shouldn’t download Counterstrike Global Offensive(CSGO) on PS3, as I will then feel the same way with Valve addictive FPS CSGO.
When I have my own home, wife, and achieved Silver/Gold Dance standard, a good job, then I might buy the wii-u. then and only then though.
@ PTT thanks man, and yeah counter strike was a game I was seriously addicted to the wii u sounds fun best of luck bro!
@ anyone
I have a ton of games on Steam and Android. Does anyone know how I can permanently delete these games from my account? I can delete them from my tablet and laptop but not from my account, so the temptation is always there to re-download these games whenever I get bored.
I’m writing this because I fell back into gaming again. I downloaded Just Cause 2 from Steam and played for 8 hours straight! =(
maybe you can not delete them from your account; the way i got out of it, is uninstall the STEAM application, in which case i’m reminded how stupid i am, to download and install steam, and then download and install CS: Source; something i haven’t done, thank god! best of luck Blake and Ben.
I have been spending money on buying good clothes $50 short-sleeve shirts, $30 t-shirts aussie dollars, tho usa is half the price i heard, lucky usa! heck even the games are cheaper there, its $80 to $100 aussie dollars (also equivalent) here, so videogames is bloody a waste of time AND money. Those better clothes help with self-esteem and im meeting up with a girl and teaching 2 chicks to play tennis…it helps to move forward as well from videogames.
Thank you for the article, it was very honest, and I relate to what you said. I also played CS, not anywhere near CPL level, but I took it seriously enough that it would make me angry and frustrated. It’s the same with HoN today (similar to DotA). I am addicted to these online games because they require skill, and are challenging, but it’s getting to a point where it’s affecting my ability to study, my concentration, and my imagination.
I’ve tried quitting before. I uninstalled everything, and even installed a Linux distro because I thought you couldn’t game with Linux. Well, I was wrong. I found out HoN had a Linux client (which is relatively rare for games to have) and I downloaded it and played it. Eventually I reinstalled windows and continued gaming.
I pay a lot for my education and the last thing I want to do is to waste all that money and not get educated. I am good at scraping by, passing with relatively good marks but I could be doing so much better if I wasn’t wasting my time gaming. But like you said, you need to replace these hobbies with other things that are skillful, social, and fun, otherwise I will just go back.
Thanks for the inspiring article.
Simple stuff,
I’m curious, what pressured the change?
This article left me speechless. Thank-you for writing this. I’m a former MLG and have a total playtime of over 1 month for Halo Reach (Halo being the main game I ‘MLG’d’ at). I used to be considered a “Legend”, as some in the past have put it. Every night, not just Friday nights or weekends, every single night I played. And when I say night I mean from 6PM to sometime in the AM, usually about 2 or 3.
The reason I played so often is because Halo inspired me. Really, it did. The main character, John-117, risking it all to save everything. Putting everybody before himself. I know it’s all fake. None of it’s real. But I sought to be that Master Chief. To be everybody’s hero. After absolutely maxing out everything I possibly could in the Halo series, I realized I had no true happiness.
Weeks upon weeks of depression followed. I really didn’t have any reason to keep living. I’m sure you can guess what came after that. Blah, blah, blah, getting help, blah, blah; and so now we’re here. I started to search for answers on how to see the joy in life again. I noticed that gaming was keeping me from so much. So I searched to find ways to quit, and move on with my life. Thus, I found this. Thank you so much for writing this. I don’t know where I’d be today if I hadn’t found something to help. I’ve been 6 months “sober”, and plan to enlist into the military sometime soon.
Yes, I am now fit enough to be in the marines, the branch I intend to enlist in. I see this as a great improvement. To go from full-time MLG, to planning to fight for my country. Still, I will always remember the inspiration video games gave me. I grew up with them. Again, I want to thank you for bestowing inspiration onto me once again.
Wow Eric, what a great comment. Stay strong, (as well as literally). I have a friend who plays xbox alot, prob not to your extent, but i do question whether he’s really happy with his xbox and car modding habits. Anyhow stay safe, and goodluck.
@Eric- I also worked in a job that i didn’t like, for money, and that got me depressed for 5 years. When you come home from your service, make sure you find other hobbies, that can give you maybe ‘competitive’, and chuck away the halo games. 😀
I think I play computer games about 8 hours a day and it’s really starting to bother me. I’ve clocked up over 40 days of playtime in WoW and a few days ago I quit it cold turkey… deleted all my characters and unsubscribed. I’m 15 years old, never been to a party (the older, more social ones) and i’ve got terrible skin to add, my acne doesn’t go away, no matter how much I do. Your article really made me think a lot about my life, i’m healthy and exercise a fair amount, but I’m really lacking in social situations. I’m smart and confident about my future, but I really don’t know where to start when it comes to social interaction. I have lots of friends, but not really any close ones, and when I go to friend’s places all they want to do is play on the playstation or mine craft (horribly boring). It’s come to the stage when people invite me over I just decline and I know it’s making me feel even worse.
After reading your article I plan to improve my life and step out into the real world and live my life how it should be.
@ Liam, Hey man! Acne is a normal thing for a boy your age, jut wash your face fuck all those products you’ll clear up naturally it’s just Puberty. As for not being as social as you want to be it sounds like your friends are PART of he problem I’d start trying to get them to come play football,basketball, baseball, go skating…I used to go for hikes in the mountain wih my friends we’d smoke a bowl or two and hike down and we had a BLAST ( no saying try weed just something we did in my experience) if you want to party man there EVERYWHERE if you socialize with people who likes the same things you do I’m sure you’ll find the age groups from 15-30 who party like rockstars just be assertive if your friends invite you to play games just say something like” hey! Let’s go outside and do something!” Lifes to short to be stuck infront of any screen. Goodluck!!!!
I´ve been playing games since nintendo, specially: Diablo I, II and III, all Call of Duty, since one, both black ops and mw’s, starcraft and warcrafts (both), still have many friends and girlfriend from high school, I am now 28, and I quit playing 2 days ago, I quit because I was always playing late, 3, 4 5 am in the morning and I woke up at 2 pm, eat, and go to work (own business), but I didnt really do anything else, PLAY a lot, drink, eat and visit my girlfriend, like a year ago, I stopped playing for 5 months, and was making exercise and dedicating more time to my job wish I could really see results in many aspects of my life, I was healthier (mind and physic), and I was happier because when I was playing COD specially it was always making me mad and broke many controls, and one or two discs, I was never a top player, but I was good, and its hard to stop playing but I know is for best, and I know it because I did it once for 5 months but it really was good…, so I guess I just wanted to let it out and trying to get new routines for my day, and I will recommend to all of you to do some yoga, it really helps for everything.
@BLAKE- it sure is good to be assertive with friends about going out rather than be stuck in front of the tv all day. sometimes friends are just molded in videogame culture that you don’t see a way that they would ‘get out’ and do something else. for those just leave them. as for family members like cousins, i am not sure; i don’t think it’s worth it either.
@FCO- wow thats cool that you quit. COD is one of my main games as well. if you find it hard giving your gaming rig to your girlfriend lol. or your siblings.
ps. @FCO- if you have twitchy fingers, give your gaming rig to your siblings or girlfriend. no joke, i gave all my consoles to my brother’s family.
Good article. At one point in life I also played a lot of video games. I still play them but only when I have time and make sure that I spend adequate time with my family and on other activities that contribute to my self improvement. I recently started playing league of Legends. Its a great game. I like playing with different people and playing it once or twice a week for an hour or two makes it feel fresh and much more enjoyable. If everything is in balance, life becomes fulfilling and you enjoy every bit of it.
Excellent article really on point, after 10 years of flatland bmx , couple years of juggling , collecting records and acquiring knowledge i can safely say if i could go back to the years i spent high score chasing on games and exchange all that time for what are now my passions i would in an instant! gaming achievements dont hold a candle to any of the other , that is my experience anyway .
Wow. I’m in shock reading this. My partner is a hardcore gamer. Plays all the time when not at work and it’s ruining our relationship. I play too, but I play in a balanced way. Actually, if I spent even 1 hour less per day playing, I’d probably be in way better shape or know more things that are actually practical to have in life. I love to game, but when it eats up your life and you literally have nothing to show for your existence (and you’re shirking duties you should be fulfilling…) it’s pathetic. It’s even more pathetic when you’re criticized for not being as good as the partner…and you think “what the fuck are you good at in life other than this?”. It’s hard to not get bitter.
Hey guys. Sorry for not responding as quickly recently. The last few weeks I’ve been taking a bit of a digital detox while I was going through a break-up. I’ll be honest, the break-up has been really tough, but I’m doing better now. Thanks for all your comments and I’m really happy you found value in this article!
@ James – So many nice people yes! The community on this post is amazing. It’s a blessing really. Anytime you have a chance to push your comfort zone I would recommend doing it. This is one of the best ways to develop confidence and meet new people!
@ Blake – You’re welcome man. I have your back for sure! It’s funny how much your performance at work skyrocketed hey? Video games make you passive and aren’t very motivating to do anything else, so this is natural when you quit. Also, thank you for helping others with your comments. Keep doing this, it’s a huge help to others!
@ PTT – How have you been Patrick? Email me with an update, I’d love to hear how things are going for you. Have you talked with Kevin yet? Thanks for your comments to others as always, it’s a huge help!
@ Charley – Thanks for commenting and sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Hopefully some of the advice Blake gave you helped! The thing you want to notice is that if you quit and lose friends, THAT’S OK. This is very common and it’s strictly because the friends you have you have common interests with. As your interests change, so do your friends. It can be scary at first but you’ll be ok, trust me. 🙂 I don’t hang out with any friends from my gaming days anymore and that’s ok. They were great friends back then and I have nothing bad to say about them, we’re just in different parts of our lives now. 🙂 if you feel like you’re getting overwhelmed with everything going on, I’d recommend working out and meditating.
@ Trevor – Nice! I’m so pumped you were inspired by the article. How has your journey been going so far?
@ Ben – I’m not sure but hopefully PTT was able to help you out? Maybe try googling it? Not too sure.
@ Michael – Thanks for commenting! I’m really glad you found value in the post. How have you been doing so far?
@ Louis – Thanks for commenting! I don’t know if anything specific pressured the change. I think it was a pressure that was building up over time… something I can see in a lot of the people who comment on this article as well. IT’s something I knew for a long time and wanted to do but just didn’t know how. Eventually I just got to the point where I said fuck it and stopped. Never looked back 🙂
@ Eric – Thanks for commenting and I’m SO happy you found it inspiring. Those words mean a lot to me. It’s inspiring to see you join the marines, I think it’s a great idea!
@ Liam – Thanks for having the courage to comment. I suffered from having acne for a long time, I know how hard it can be. I cut out dairy from my diet and that’s been the biggest help for my acne. Make sure you drink LOTS of water (it helps too) and change your pillow cases frequently (every day is best). Those help the most. The best way to improve your social life is to start hanging out in social areas. Join a few clubs, get some hobbies, and you’ll find you have more friends before you know it!
@ FCO – Yoga is great, thank you for suggesting it to the others. I find yoga helps a lot to keep your mind focused and clear! Thanks for commenting, I really appreciate it.
@ KH – Thanks for commenting. Balance is definitely possible. I think for some of the guys commenting it can be hard to achieve balance without first cutting games out completely for a while and then coming back to them within balance awhile down the road. That’s my experience anyways.
@ CLP – Thanks for commenting! I couldn’t agree more. When you’re stuck in your video game addiction it can be hard to understand this point, but it’s SO true. Once you quit playing games and start achieving other things in life, you look back and realize the achievements you thought were amazing in games weren’t that great in comparison. Thanks for adding your input.
@ Alex – Thanks for commenting! How could you support your partner to move away from games?
Very nice article ! My boyfriend loves games. He used to be addicted. He understands that video games hold him back from some commitments but he can’t stop thinking about games, especially when there is new games coming out. He says gaming is his passion and he wants to make a career out of it like creating games for a living. However, he is pretty good at controlling the desire to play video games since he starts dating me. Just that I don’t like the fact that he is so passionate about gaming so much as I don’t see any good purposes in playing, like you said, there is no growth in playing video games.So do you have any advice for me and him?
@ Quinn – Thanks for taking the time to comment on my article! Honestly if you think he is able to balance gaming and that it doesn’t affect the rest of his life, maybe the answer is for you to try and understand more about why he’s so passionate about games? What does he LOVE about them? Take an empathetic approach to it. I would also recommend you two starting an activity together like salsa dancing or a cooking class. Those are always good for couples. 🙂
@ CAM-
I am good, i will email you now.. i met this gal on meetup and it’s getting friendly on FB. any advice ppls? shes a mix of extrovert and younger, im not sure how i should handle this. sorry to keep it so general here, but its due to privacy reasons. any advice especially during the Christmas season? yes I have contacted Kevin, and emailed a little bit; but he hasn’t had had time for a full talk as he seems quite busy.
@Others with partners who game- I too agree to empathise, and at the very least hang in there, find out what makes him/her click with games, and see if there are other outlets to allow for that ‘click’. one example, i know is that people can be highly competitive, maybe compete in dance or something instead! allow them the chance to game in moderation. if they are addicted in their games over the course of your relationship for a sufficient time span for improvement, and you have mentioned its causing you concern, then (im not sure what CAM thinks), but i would set an ultimatum or (in the worse scenario leave the relationship if it seems like they would place games before you and your likes/passions and your relationship.
IMO, relationships is all about sacrifice and give and take, videogames is no exception.
although videogame playing can be just stress, boredom, maybe think of things to do- picnics, hikes, dance like CAM said, cook, or maybe he or she is stressed say from work. ask, and find out.
cheerio.
eg. that temporary escape from stress..
temporary escape is a huge factor. maturity plays a part in assessing an ideal partner as well.
@ PTT – Thanks! Got your email. (Will respond right after this comment.) Kevin is definitely pretty busy but he’ll find time for you. I will remind him.
I think empathy is SO important. It’s something I’ve been working on A LOT this past year, and I’ve seen an immense increase in the quality of my life in doing so. It’s helped me a lot to not judge others as much… which has helped me not judge MYSELF as much either.
If you’re in a relationship and something your partner is doing is causing tension, you need to first recognize whether it’s a deal-breaker or not. Being in a relationship for the past year and a half myself, a big lesson I’ve learned is that it’s very easy for each of us to take things WAY too seriously when certain things aren’t THAT big of a deal at the end of the day. There’s a great talk by Sam Harris on youtube called “Death and the Present Moment”… where he mentions that life is too short to waste our time with silly things like bickering with our spouse.
That’s why I find it important to identify whether your partners habit or behavior is a deal-breaker or not. If it is, you can share with them how it makes you feel and why it’s important to you, which will give them the opportunity to approach it differently. If it’s not a deal-breaker, than you can stop worrying about it and focus on other things.
Food for thought anyways.
that’s also true, about whether it’s a deal-breaker or not. guys can like videogames alot, and girls may like fashion alot. if it isn’t it’s ok. tho the people who are mentioning this on this website, prob think it can potentially be a deal-breaker, definitely give the partner support and encouragement and time to improve 😀 empathising and understanding is a great turn-on (if i had a gal who can do those 2 things, it would be bliss!).
Hey man, thanks for this article. It makes complete sense. You’ve done a great job drilling down the core reasons and explaining why gaming is so addicting. For me, the main reason I play a game for a long, long time because of my competitive friends. I just don’t like the way they look at me when they crush me and I don’t think they like the way I act when I win either. So competitions keep going on and on like you and your Starcraft friend. We move from game to game too. In the end, we played almost all big games out there, with high rank. I study at UC Irvine and get kicked out of my old major because of my addiction. I couldn’t commit and completely quit like you did, but rather, my solution is a woman. Get a person who really, really love you and really, really hate video games. Well, she doesn’t hate it but she hate the fact that sometimes I love it more than her. We fought many times, fiercely too, but thank God she stays. She pulls me back every time I’m about to leave. We make some kind of schedule for me to satisfy my need. Of course, the schedule doesn’t even get close to the satisfying hours for a real gamer. The hours get shorter and shorter until I barely play. Still, I love games and I believe it’s a wonderful thing but doing it excessively is really harmful to your life. I know, there are people who making a lot of money playing video games and a lot of careers involve playing video games but face it, 90% of us are just killing our time and getting a fuzzy illusion of happiness. Committed gamers are the most talent and smartest of people. If you are placed at the right places, you will do most wondrous things but you have to quit gaming and get out there, for real. Anyway, I just want to say that if there are people like me who cannot quit gaming by yourself, do it with another person.
@ PTT – You will get there man. I’m excited for your future!
@ Ha Nguyen – Thanks for commenting! I’d recommend looking into why you want to validate others and caring about what others think. To me it seems like you are gaining a sense of self-esteem from how others view you, so you compete more and more trying to impress your friends. If this is what you have to do to impress your friends you might want to meet some other people. I don’t know if this is the right type of people you want in your life.
Good luck on your journey. I believe in you 🙂
good article man. i wasted 7 years of my life playing wow and i feel much better now that i quit. i used to have this feeling that i missed something if i stayed offline for a longer period of time. now i just feel free, like i can do w/e i want in this world
@ Markus – Thanks for your comment! You can do it, believe me. 🙂
I really like this article. I had been struggling to decide whether or not I should give in gaming as I felt it was distracting me from my responsibilities and goals, and after reading this I decided to just quit cold turkey. It was great actually not being distracted all the time by gaming so I got back into playing violin more and started going to the gym every day. I kept this going for a month or possibly more but I guess I just couldn’t find enough to keep myself busy and I would find myself at home alone in my room feeling pretty depressed. It’s funny how video games can fill in time so easily that you just don’t even realise how empty your life really is. So I eventually broke and I’ve been back playing video games (even mmorpg games) for a month or more now. Again I’m realising that my time is getting wasted and my work as well as my gym and violin progress are suffering big time, but I don’t know what to do. If i just quit again I will have nothing to do and I’ll come back to gaming. It’s a vicious cycle for me.
wilko you have to fill the time u spend on videogames with other fulfilling activities, otherwise you’ll always fall back into your old habits. hitting the gym and playing violin are rather lonely activies, you need to get some social interaction going
@ Wilko – Thanks for commenting! I’m glad you liked it. You need to fix the root of the problem, which is replacing video games with other activities. You play games because you get bored and you have no idea how to fill that time. So it’s really important to find other activities, so you aren’t just super bored.
@ Markus – Thanks for responding and adding your input. Said it perfectly!
@ Wilko- How about Dancing (whatever style). It’s in a social environment, and improves fitness, and co-ordination and its related to music. Have a look at the other hobbies that have been discussed prior (listed beforehand), and other sports such as baseball or soccer or learning under tennis in a group (tennis coach).
Have a look at the other hobbies that have been discussed prior (listed beforehand), and other sports such as baseball or soccer or learning tennis under a tennis coach, in a group so that you can socialize more frequently.
@CAM- oh i didn’t see your comment. Heck even I’m excited about my future. One year ago I would have never thought I achieved so much socially or achieving bronze in dance (I always thought dance is hobby only for girls, [and guys will be stereotyped into this hobby for other reasons] but that’s so not true!)
I’ve achieved progress socially and personally, and in terms of dating. Stopping extended periods of videogame playing, and building and knowing my passions and “‘values”‘ are great. (I spoke to Kevin today and it was cool). I also am exercising more, and eating better! cheers.
@ PTT – Thanks for adding your input for Wilko. I heard you met with Kevin yesterday? How did it go?
I want to ask whether I should quit the addiction or really stop playing games forever?
I know that there’s many activities that are useful for me than gaming. But,should we really stop it? How if I just played 1 hour per Sundays?Does that still count as time-waste?
It’s just,many people at my age (15-16) are still playing games,and what if we’re playing game just for fun?Not for levelling,skill, or spending time?
@ Gee – If I had to choose one – to play games or not – I would choose not.
However, on the other hand, if you believe you can play only 1 hour on Saturday and that’s it, it’s no big deal. The key is to be HONEST with yourself about your addiction. It’s very easy to justify playing 1 hour here, 1 hour there, and then out of nowhere you end up playing more and more and more. It’s important to keep yourself transparent and honest.
Hey Cam, thanks for your article!
I really wanna quit playing video games, I think I have a lot more to do than this.
And I’m still in high school, I think I should really learn something before it is too late.
I will succeed!
Thanks again.
It was quite informative with Kevin, I believe social dynamics is quite crucial in all aspects of life, career, friendships, and that’s what makes us human. Though I still think I’ll stick to Primary teaching in the rural areas as my day job! Dancing is a hobby!
For the people out there, don’t make your last day filled with regrets that you wasted your life playing videogames, that would be regrettable. Life is to be lived, and people in 70s who never had the chance to experience videogames but went to discos and had a blast had it good! Food for thought.
I’m going to try to quit again, seriously this time…you’re the first person that I’ve ever actually taken the time to listen to because I can tell that you were in the exact same situation as I’m in now, I’m currently in the world 66 WoW guild and am extremely thankful for how inspirational you’ve been.
Thanks, Brett
With havin so much written content do you ever run
into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My
site has a lot of exclusive content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my permission. Do you know any ways to help reduce content from being stolen? I’d certainly appreciate
it.
Cam,
This is a great article. I’m almost 25 and have been playing video games for a long time. I stumbled on this article and all my games are getting uninstalled first thing tomorrow consoles will be sold to purchase a piano. I’m glad I came across this I’ve realized I’ve been wasting my time all these years. I appreciated you sharing your experiences, it helped me quit video games. My wife and kid will see a new me from today on.
Thanks a lot and Merry Christmas!
Hey Cam!
Your article is really amazing and a real eye-opener. The fascinating thing is that i am not addicted to video games, heck i haven’t even started to seriously get into them! And still i found your advice superuseful when applied to other areas of my life. Thank you so much! :)) Unfortunately, i am in a real dilemma. I have a different problem and i would appreciate it a lot if you could advice me regarding this matter, as i’ve been struggling with it since the past month. Ok, I am a girl and live in a collgege dorm, where mostly only guys live, who are gamers. Some casual and some really hard-core. As I’m kind of a tomboy myself, and really like one of the guys, I thought it would be cool to start gaming as well, in the hope that it will somewhat “impress” him. (gosh i feel stupid writing this…sry). However, after some research ^^ i found, that they can be super addictive and time-consuming if it cant be controlled. And hence I’m afraid that i will get into a “bad/unnecessary” habit just to impress a guy. (Btw, i can handle peer pressure very well, as i dont drink or smoke like all my friends). The thing is, I have watched him play LOL, and I found its super boring, i mean just to watch. I couldnt get my head around, as to why he found it fascinating and i thought of it as such a time and life waste :O I would have much rather liked to play real soccer, tennis or dancing, just anything physical, social and more fun, and still boyish stuff <3
(even talking bout dicks, as usual would have been more interesting) :/ So i am in a frustrated situation, where I dont know if it's worth it to force myself to get into video games. i play the occasional psp and some casual games on ps2, but nothing more, & and also more likely when ppl are around to play it with. So any advice? I am really a bit stressed. first world problems, i know i know .. i hate myself for it. sorry for the rant.
oh and merry christmas, as well! 😀
@light&kira- It can be a bit risky because once you get into xbox360/ps3/pc it can get more addictive than psp or ps2. If it was dance, going to the gym, tennis or something similar i would say go for it; but to change yourself to be a gamer, an avid gamer at that it’s prob not worth it.
Most sensible guys don’t mind their friends/partners doing something different, but probably would like to play a videogame here and there with them, and as long as you show understanding and empathy that is more than enough. Maybe, even as a friend, one day talk to him and tell him how you feel about his videogame habits? If he quits and sees that you bought him the light of day, I think he could appreciate that. if he doesn’t quit, well at least you tried. as long as you show concern, empathy, and understanding it should be okay. If he is extremely stubborn about it, then he might not being worth being a friend at the first place 😀 I hope this helps.
I believe it just comes down to one thing, and that is to do new things and to break out of your comfort zone. It’s much easier to play video games in your little bedroom then it is to go out and talk to strangers. It’s easier to watch movies in your little safe home then it is to talk to women. It’s easier to stay in your isolated little community then it is to travel to another country.
I’ve have had to deal with all of these issues and even more. Also, it doesn’t get easier when you get older. Time will also catch up to you in a hurry. Before you know it you’re turning 30, and next you’ll be turning 40 and so on. Stop putting it off! Do it today. Before you know it those days will add up to weeks, and those weeks will add up to months, and those months are going to add up to years. It comes very quickly.
I’m going to Thailand this Saturday for one week to see my girlfriend. I’m going to be in Bangkok to celebrate New Years Eve. How exciting is that? I’m super excited but I do not like to fly. I hate it. It would be so much easier for me to stay home and play video games in my little comfort zone. I’ve actually thought about doing this. In the short term it would be easy for me to do. I wouldn’t have to take my flight. I wouldn’t have to do anything except sleep, eat, and play video games during my winter break. But when I look back a few months from now, I would have immense guilt because I took the easy route. I stayed in my comfort zone. This would not be the way to live, and I don’t want to live my life like this.
I like Steven Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He states “You need to act or you will be acted upon.” Be proactive in everything that you do in life. If you want to quit video gaming then do it today. Don’t wait until you think the time is right. Do it now.
I really think that you over exaggerate.
Obviously I didn’t read all the comments around here, but from the ones I saw, a lot of people have trouble with video games because it conflicts with other aspects of their lives. Though, if you don’t take it to the extreme I see no reason why shouldn’t you play video game seriously, I mean, what’s the difference between playing DotA for 4 hours a day and playing the guitar 4 hours a day ? the only difference is the social one, people admire your guitar skills more than your DotA skills.
People think that video games are time waste ( like you said in some posts “you can do more valuable things with your time”), but actually the only thing that make them a time waste, is that society decided its a time waste. A few years ago I was playing video games most of the day ( SSBM , WoW mostly), Eventually I got bored with it, and started playing the guitar and the piano. The reaction and credit I got from being good at these is so disproportional to the time and effort I put in them compared to the time i spent gaming. and I have to ask , why ?
why does our society think that gaming is an inferior hobby, and why the hell do you think that you wasted your time when you played video games? “starting an internet marketing business” or “playing an instrument” is time wasting as much as playing games!
Ok everyone… I’m back from the holidays so I will be able to respond now. Thanks to everyone who commenting during the holidays and even some people on Christmas day! I hope everyone is doing great this holiday season.
@ Maroque – Thanks for coming by and commenting. It’s never to early to start going after the life you want! Read through the comments… there’s SO many other guys like you in High School who are deciding to improve their lives instead of letting their lives go by passively. BEst of luck!
@ PTT – The approach Kevin takes to Social Dynamics is definitely very interesting. Love what you said: “Don’t make your last day filled with regrets that you wasted your life playing video games.” Thanks for your advice to Light&Kira!
@ Brett – Thanks for commenting Brett. Don’t feel guilty about not being successful the other times you’ve tried to quit. It doesn’t matter what has happened in the past, only what you do right now and moving forward!
@ Spencer – Check out this post by Kissmetrics on keeping content thieves away: http://blog.kissmetrics.com/keep-content-thieves-away/
@ Jim – Thanks for commenting… especially on Christmas day! Piano is a great idea. One of my students who found me via this article did something very similar. He quit games and focused on learning piano like he had always wanted to and he’s loved it a lot. Just make sure you focus on developing a structured plan to learn piano so you can take the decision-making process out of it…. because that’s the easiest spot to get overwhelmed and want to just play games again. Best of luck to your family.
@ Light & Kira – Thanks for commenting! Merry Christmas to you as well. I’m very thankful you see the parallels between this article and other areas of life. I definitely agree about it. My aunt is one of the top researches for addictions in Canada and she’s been sharing a lot of cool insight into addictions for me lately after reading my post… the similarities are very obvious!
Instead of taking up video games just to impress this guy, I would recommend instead to take an interest in HIM… and why he plays games. Not from a judgemental stand point, but ask him what he likes about games, what his favorite games are, etc. Allow him to share it with you. You don’t necessarily need to become an amazing gamer to do this, but just listening and getting to know this part of him could be really nice for him. You can also use it as a way to understand him better. Maybe you buy him a poster of his favorite game. You know what I mean?
Make sure you guys can find hobbies you both enjoy to share together. You can also have your own hobbies too, but sharing hobbies together is very important. Hope that helps!
@ Ben – Hey Ben, thanks for commenting. I definitely agree with you about doing new things and breaking outside your comfort zone being one of the big keys. Your book recommendation is also great. I’ve found one reason why the article is so successful is because it helps people understand WHY they gravitate towards games so much. From there it’s easier for them to understand that games are their comfort zone and they need to break out of it. Looking forward to sharing a lot more insight into this addiction with my book.
@ Fizz – Thanks for commenting. I’ve definitely had this argument a few times in the comments, and my main point is that from my own experience and the experience of others… the enjoyment you get out of video games is drastically different than the enjoyment you get from other hobbies. Not only that, but the side-effects and risk involved are too dangerous to mess with. I see immense more value in learning an instrument or starting an internet business compared to video games, because the amount of growth, personal development and life fulfillment you can get from these other activities is significantly higher than playing WoW for 8 more hours every day.
However, I will point out that IF video games are able to be controlled and balanced they aren’t *that* bad… BUT 4 hours a day would be excessive in my opinion. I would say a video game here and there isn’t that bad, but not reguarly.
this is a pretty good site ( i do play hardcore because i got so much time on my hand and i dont know how to use it properly so i decide to just play games like warcraft , perfect world , rs , cod , black ops 1 / 2 and more but i hope your words of wisedom will help thanks ^^
@ Vin – Thanks for commenting! I’m really glad you enjoy the site. One of the best ways to fix the problem you’re having is to get more organized. I wrote a post on how you can use a calendar to help with this: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/
Until you start scheduling others things to do you’ll just keep playing games… because they are your “default”, go-to activity whenever you don’t have anything else to do. But if you look at the comments on this post, if you focus and put some REAL effort into changing your schedule, you will be successful!
I’ve gotten pretty obsessed with some video games. I wanted to play Starcraft 2 competitively, so I put a lot of time into it spent laddering, watching streams, reading teamliquid, etc. I eventually got into Masters League, and then quit. I also really got into RotMG, Minecraft, and Skyrim. I want to quit video games though, because I feel like there are a lot of better things I could be doing with my life. I’m bound to have some free time though, so I need to find some new hobbies. I love competition, so I’m looking into competitive go, but I’m worried that I’m just filling up the void of not playing video games with something else. What do you guys think? How is a game like go (online) different from video games?
the thing about online games is that they merely provide an illusion of social interaction. you feel like you are playing with people, some of them you even consider your (online) friends, but eventually some day you will come to realize that you gradually isolated yourself and that you have nothing to show for all this time you spent online. you feel lonely and unfulfilled and you dont know how to initiate your ever so desired turning point in your life; after all, playing video games is the only thing you really know how to do. so, Fossa, you might indeed feel like clinging on to this need to play, since you let online games become a thriving habit that guided your leisure time. but dont think of quitting video games as something bad, like a void needing to be filled, but rather embrace the idea of beginning a new happy life. its incredibly counterintuitive to instantly quit a habit (maybe even an addiction in this case) and it might leave you feeling uncomfortable, but in the long run it certainly will not leave you with a void. i’ve been there and i made it. so will you. the first few weeks are the hardest but you cant give in!
Hey
I am 17 years old and want to quit playing games because my social skills, well they lack way to much. I mean i do have some friends and stuff but i am way to shy to talk to girls without feeling anything else then, “omg what am i doing, this is wrong, what did i just say, i look dumb, i say dumb stuff”. My self esteem isn’t really the best and i just read your post Cam and you gave me some hope, but still i am looking for more advice :/
Yeah I have to agree with you Raphael. Once I start looking for the girl of my dreams, the last thing I want to tell her is that I like to only play video games in my free time. And actually with me, it’s always a battle trying to find more time to play video games. But with a game like online go, I would only want to play when I had real free time, because it’s honestly just not addictive enough to find time for. So personally I feel comfortable playing some online games such as go.
@ Fossa – Thanks for commenting! It’s ok to fill your addiction with video games with something else… the difference is the thing you need to fill it with has to be something that is HEALTHY and contributes positively to your health and well-being (meaning… makes your life better.) Today I had a counselling session (I see a counsellor regularly to ask him any questions that I’m unsure of with my emotions) and he even told me the same thing: I need to identify addictive behaviors that hurt my life and replace them with healthy ones.
It’s good to focus on the competitive side. What’s a hobby you could take up that would also be competitive? (I’m thinking a team sport!)
@ Edmont – Thanks for commenting. You are right. Although online games do involve social interaction… the type of social interaction is very different than face-to-face interaction. People miss this point very often. That doesn’t mean online interaction is BAD, just different. Thanks for adding your input to Fossa’s situation!
@ Raphael – Thanks for commenting! Don’t feel too bad about where your social skills are. There’s a good saying: “Wherever you go, there you are.” In order to improve, you first need to recognize where you’re at. Now that you know your social skills need to improve, you have a reason to become motivated to improve them! View it like a challenge… and like you need to “level” them up, just like you would in a video game. My best advice is to read more of the articles on this site… there’s 200+ articles about socializing that will help you a lot. Also get into more social environments. Join a sports team, a music club, etc.
Hey Cam, thanks for writing this article and answering the comments. Your dedication to your commitment is inspirational. I’m 17 and like many of those who commented, I started video gaming when I was really young. Only recently have I realized that I need to quit because I can’t just spend hours and hours everyday in video games. I’m going to finish high school soon , yet I know that my enjoyment in gaming with hinder me from accomplishing anything of real importance. The problem now is that I don’t know what to with my time. I’ve been in my world of video games for too long now and a good portion of my passions are product of video gaming. What are things I could do? Is there a way where I can discover new passions?
So, I bought Borderlands 2 months ago and since then, I’ve been very addicted. I’d play 12 hours straight, with only nuts and water on my desk. 12 hours every weekdays and 16 hours straight on weekends. Since my video game addiction, my grades flunked as low as the Mariana trench. I know that I’m getting addicted so I asked my friend to do me a favor. She challenged me to go “cold turkey” on my video games for a week. The deal is kinda like an experimental deal where we’ll see if I survive or not. If I survive, then we’ll continue the challenge. Our deal involves me not going to play any single game, even on handheld game consoles, for a week. Monday to Sunday. We both thought that if I survived the one-week challenge, I would be used to not playing them, like I’ve grown tired of games. If you’re asking if I survived the challenge, yes, I survived but the total opposite of what we thought happened. I became more obsessed with games. Days passed and finally, my interest on the game gradually decreased that I only play the game 3-4 hours everyday. One day, I was playing co-op with random people and met someone living in the same country as I am. We became friends on Steam and I dunno about that guy. I feel that there’s a competitive barrier between us. Every time we play, he hogs the loot to himself. Even those legendary guns that RARELY drops. He always talk through the microphone after we kill a boss/raid boss like “Oh stop! Don’t get anything yet! The legendary is mine!” You know the feeling and/or urge of online bitch-slapping the crap out of someone by letting them see the cooler stuff you’ve found? That’s what I’m feeling right now but I want it to stop. Seems like this page is the best place to start. Thanks Cam and I have a question, I only want to massively reduce my gameplay to at least, 8-9 hours a WEEK, should I do something else from “cold turkey-ing”? Or should I just stop completely? Because I can’t imagine my life without dem games. Thanks again, Cam.
@sky:
In my experience nothing else beside “cold-turkey-ing” works. The problem with reducing the play time or doing a weekly challenges is that you’ll probably keep thinking about gaming. The idea here is to completely “forget” about playing, don’t play, don’t visit gaming websites, and try not to think about gaming. Soon you won’t even miss it.
If you only reduce your time – then you’re brain will crave the next game session. If you set a weekly challenge then your brain will count days till the next binge.
I set my goal at 50 days without gaming, 20 days in I still had cravings so I doubled the challenge right there to 100 days. Now I’m two months in, and honestly since about day 30 I hardly even think of gaming.. I don’t miss it, I don’t hate it, I’m just totally oblivious to it. I also stopped counting once I reached day 50, there’s no point – the journey became the goal. My original goal was to eventually play only on weekends and no more than 4h a week, but now I’m not even sure I’ll ever do that – I lost the “passion” and that’s a good thing. Btw. When I started, I also couldn’t imagine my life without games – I was honestly scared; Now… I couldn’t care less 🙂
@ Lawrence – You’re welcome man! Thanks for taking the time to add your input. It’s weird because getting the amount of comments on a blog post like this one has is REALLY hard, unless your a huge top tier blog. I can’t wait to get my book out so you guys can learn more about the addiction (backed by scientific research) and more skills about dealing with it. My goal is to help people that want to be helped. That’s it! Can you list me some hobbies or interests you’ve had in the past? If you were to go to a bookstore and buy a book, what subject would it be on? I think a big misconception about finding your passions is that it’s going to be a light switch. IT’S NOT. It’s a volume knob. Finding your passion initially starts out as just a small interest… and as you put more time and effort into it, take on challenges, etc, you enjoy it more and more and then it turns into a passion. Also don’t forget to read through the comments. There’s a TON of great ideas of other things people have done to help them quit, like learning a new language, an instrument, joining a sports club, etc.
Another great idea to get started is to write out a bucket list. This will give you a ton of ideas for various activities you could pursue. Remember what I said earlier, you don’t need to turn anything into a passion TOMORROW. You only need to start trying new things and having more experiences. Get outside your comfort zone, try new things, have fun with it.
@ Sky – Thanks for commenting! That’s an awesome challenge. If you break it what happens? Do you have any consequences? Consequences definitely help to encourage you not to break it. Tim Ferriss talks about having “stakes” to help you reach your goals. I’m very happy you found this page because it is a GREAT way to start your journey. Read through the comments. This strategy WORKS if you implement it! Remember WHY you want to quit. If you don’t know WHY, no HOW will matter. The best advice I would give you to limit your game play is to schedule it and be strict about your schedule. Check out this post for more details: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/
@ A Better Man – Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with Sky. I really appreciate you helping me answer comments and adding your perspective. It means a lot.
@ Cam: I’m sure it must be difficult answering all these questions and comments. I just hope I can find several activities that take my attention away from ever playing video games. I use to draw and sketch a lot, but a picture isn’t as attractive as a place in a video game. Also, I enjoy drawing fantasy locations. Is that not something you would encourage since it might remind me too much of video games? Some other hobbies would be playing the piano and weight lifting, but I can only practice the piano or lift weights for X amount of time before I grow tired of it. I also have an interest in science, but I doubt I could fill my time reading physics books. Perhaps, like what you said, I just need to invest more time into those areas to bring out more of an interest in them. What do you suggest?
@ a_better_man – Thanks for the advice. Now I’m thinking about doing what you’ve done. The 100-day challenge thingy. Thanks again, I really appreciate it.
@ Cam – I forced myself to finish the deal because my friend said she won’t be my friend anymore if I broke the deal. I can’t risk that, so I finished it. Thanks for replying.
Cam,
I really enjoyed this article. I am having serious issues with my husband and his video game time. He seriously wakes up in the morning usually between 9-11am plays till he has to go to work 1:30pm (and is always late because he has to finish whatever stupid round he is on before he can quit because of his stats) and then comes home from work 10:30pm and plays again till 5am. And then starts his day all over again. And on days when he doesn’t work he just wakes up and plays ALL DAY. I have talked to him about this ALOT and with no changes and I don’t know what to do anymore. We have 3 children and another one on the way and I feel completely alone. He has no desire to spend time with me unless he “thinks” that if he doesn’t for like an hour before I fall asleep at night I will freak out and we will get into another fight. He does not help me around the house, doesn’t help me with the children he doesn’t have any desire to do anything but play video games. I feel like I am not good enough for him and that I am not attractive enough to keep him occupied in that way. I feel like when I talk to him about this it is like throwing stones against a brick wall… I am completely at a loss and have no clue what to do or say anymore. I have tried telling him to limit time, because I didn’t want to be the one that said “You can’t ever play them again” I want him to want to do it, not because I said so… because I am not his mother. But when I realized that was pointless I just told him to do whatever made him happy because I couldn’t take the so called “countdown” till when he was “allowed” to play video games. now I just try to ignore it and I try to occupy myself with other things to make myself feel better. But I don’t feel any better, and I am just bottling up my anger and I feel like everytime I see him playing his stupid fucking games I just want to punch him. I want to smash his playstation3 with a hammer and break every game he owns (but I don’t because that isn’t very nice, nor very mature). But why can’t he put that much effort into our relationship? He doesn’t even have to do anything except work, because at the moment I do absolutely EVERYTHING including being a mom and dad to our kids because the video games and his stats and his gaming time is SO much more important. So I can’t even talk to him about the fact that I have a job, I go to school, I drive the kids around to their afterschool activities, I do all the housework, cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, and the list goes on and on and on and on…
anyways, sorry about the long venting rant… I just wanted to say I liked this article but how can I help my husband realize there is something wrong?!
@cam well i already do sports, i do cross country in the fall, wrestling in the winter, and tennis in the spring
Help us. My 15 yr old constantly plays video games. We have tried everything .. Limit time, timers , activities. Boy scouts. Gymnastics. Golf. Drumming lessons. Karate. Soccer. All he wants to do is play. He has quit all activities after a short while. He wld cry and throw a fit every time we drove him to activities from age 8 .. Now 15. We have given up. He plays mine craft, tretaria , and other strategy type games. He does not play “shooter type ” games that we know of bc we dont let him. Your article was the first one i have read that make logical sense. We have taken him to psychologist and psychiatrisst. He is a smart social boy and plays alot of inline games w his friends. It is christmas break 2 solid weeks and he has played from 11am till 2-3 am every day. Small breaks of watching tv. You may think what horrible parents but we r at the point where we want him to WANT to stop. So we figure let him play so much he fets bored so he will want to do other stuff. But i am afraid he will never get to that place. He is not a tough athletic kid so we dont expect him to be an athlete. But he is really good at drums and his dad is a musician but he said he hated practicing. So what would you suggest in helping us help his to WANT to stop and start living his life?
Has anyone seen “Wreck it Ralph”? It’s a movie about videogames of the 80’s 90’s and today. Looking back it gave me so much nostalgia and fond childhood and teen memories. I guess videogames are great as long as there is balance. Street Fighter II for example, oh the memories! Sorry for the slight random comment!
Actually, I don’t think I need to quit video games forever. I think they’re okay in moderation. It has to be viewed as entertainment though, and not a hobby. I mean if I make it so I can never play video games, then I have to say I can never watch movies, or read a fiction book, or play chess with friends.
The other day I read something on another blog that I had actually been doing when I started the ‘recovery program’, but I didn’t know Stanfield was using the same ‘technique’ when preparing for his stand-up routines and has the perfect name for it: “Don’t break the chain.” It works equally well for both, implementing a new habit or eliminating an old one – it just makes you feel shitty whenever you consider failing/skipping.
Details here:
http://lifehacker.com/281626/jerry-seinfelds-productivity-secret?tag=softwaremotivation
@Cam: I know you’re busy, but a regular forum would be great addition to this article.. when you get a chance.
@Cam – I really like your response to ‘anothergamer’ on July 9, 2012. I learnt alot from that comment thanks. I too think about about the outcome of a gf, still do abit, but alot better than say 2 years ago (at least i don’t think i’m depressed about wanting a girlfriend-ie. the actual outcome, and enjoying mingling and socialising more and to be in good company).
When it comes to social skills, i’m average at best, but what hinders me most, is that i judge people alot, whether chicks have bad habits like bitching about things, like a girl may complain “I so should have come 3 hours later, i could do something else at home”, or other girls bitching behind peoples backs (one example for a good 70 min. on my mobile phone which i had limited interest in talking about), .. or women have a free car park spot in the city, because her boss likes him-(like women using men).
Am I being too judgemental? or is it okay to not like them, but I need the skill to not show my reservations/dislike, physically using by being anti-social. Your thoughts would be appreciated! 😀 to be honest it’s probably due in part to my depression. cheers mate.
I have decided not to buy a wii-u / black ops 2…very wise decision lol.
a friend told me, “Friends is good. You need more acquaintances. Yeah man always good to know people. Don’t need to be best mates”
good advice.
!! TO THE WOMAN (“FED-UP”)
WHOSE HUSBAND IS
AN ADDICT !!
(im caps’ing so you notice since you’ll be looking for cams green chat box)
i was exactly in your situation. we have two kids and until a year ago all my husband did was play games. i know how you feel and i can only imagine the anger bulding up in you. im gonna tell you what i did: i sat down with him calmly and expressed my feelings and my despair.i told him that i missed the man i fell in love with. its utterly important that you dont yell at him, that will only make him indulge in playing more! get him to sit down with you for 15 minutes (dont say “WE NEED TO TALK”) and tell him how his behaviour makes you feel. he really only understood how much he fucked me up when i started crying and when i told him that i couldnt bear this type of life anymore. dont blame him and dont tell him he’s an addict (people hate being called an addict), rather tell him that he needs to cut his playing to a maximum of 3 hours a day and it WILL be painful since he is incredibly used to playing much more. but if he really loves you he has to do that. you cant be too angry but you also cant tell him that he can do whatever he wants to. i hope i helped you, im not good at giving advice, just have a long talk with him and cry your eyes out
my husband and I have sat down on a few occasions and we have “talked” but it doesn’t actually seem to help… he puts up his defensive walls and crosses his arms and becomes completely umsympathetic. On one occasion I couldn’t take it anymore and all the emotion that I bottled up it just came out and I couldn’t stop crying. He didn’t know what to do or to say except to ask why I was crying (he seriously asked this, as if it wasn’t obvious) I told him that I missed spending time with him. But I think that he doesn’t realize that he plays too much, or too often, I do not think that he thinks there is a problem. Anytime I have ever tried to talk about his gaming he instantly gets this tone where you know that he has stopped listening to you and is now on the mode of “great now you are going to tell me that I am a horrible husband and that I am worthless, and don’t do anything right and blah blah blah” and he acutally will say these things at times. I am a very patient person, I do not yell, I don’t usually loose my temper and I don’t like to call people names. I am sensitive to people doing these things to me and don’t wish that on others. But when I start these conversations he will say so what you are saying is I have to stop doing what I like and never play video games again?! And again… I have never even said this to him either… I jsut don’t know what to do anymore… I feel lonely, and I know he can tell that I do, and when he asks I don’t want to start another fight so usually I just say I am tired and then go to sleep so I don’t have to deal with it…. another thing that I didn’t mention before is, his gaming system is in the bedroom. So he literally does not leave the bedroom unless he is working, eating dinner and I make him join the family, or going to the bathroom (which he will wait till the last minute to the point where he is running down the hallway, like a little kid would do) and him gaming ALL night makes it really hard for me to sleep… and if I complain about it he gets an attitude and says that I just want him to quit playing games all together. Sometime though the way that he always says that all I want him to do is quit playing completely makes me wonder if that is what he wants to do but he is angry about it or something… the whole situation just doesn’t make sense to me and I do not understand it at all… I don’t have an addictive personality and there is nothing that I wouldn’t put before responsibilities… but that is just how I was raised I guess… either that or I realize there is more to life than just pleasing myself and my wants. And when people don’t act the same way I want to understand why. But I am completely at a loss and don’t know what to do anymore.
@ Lawrence – It can be difficult sometimes when I get busy or travel but I really love being able to interact more with the readers and especially to help others any way I can. I know I keep saying it but I can’t WAIT to release this book for you guys so you can get all the up-to-date stuff! My biggest suggestions is to approach new hobbies with a general curiosity. Something I learned over the past year is that just because you don’t like something right away, doesn’t mean you won’t later… and it really just comes down to experiencing the activity more and understanding what the value is in it. As an example, I never liked running very much, but after signing up to run a half-marathon and training for it, I learned so much about running that I really liked (stress relief, challenge, solitude, etc) that I never really cared about before I tried it! But once I tried it and challenged myself more, I began to learn why others liked running so much. Sometimes it’s as simple as learning more about an activity.
@ Sky – You’re welcome! 🙂
@ Fed-up – Thanks for commenting! I appreciate you reaching out and don’t mind the rant at all (others have been MUCH longer haha!) It’s tough for me to know exactly what to suggest to you, but I would recommend seeking outside help if possible (counselling). Also I would consider looking into video games as a symptom of a deeper problem. Why does he escape into video games? It’s not because he’s that addicted to the games… he’s addicted to avoiding something else, and he’s avoiding something else because of XYZ. From the behavior you’ve described in your 2nd comment this appears obvious. I really hope you are able to help him out. Maybe starting an activity with him would be good, like yoga or a dance class. That way he’s getting out of his routine a bit more and it’s time you two can spend together that’s scheduled and without the burden of your kids. I’d love to hear an update from you too!
@ Fossa – That’s awesome that you are so active in sports. So what I would recommend is finding an activity that is more for inside the house, since you are outside lots. Things like learning an instrument, a new language, etc. Moderation is fine, just be honest with yourself about it. There’s very different levels of “moderation” in peoples opinions. Remember, playing just because moderation is ok isn’t the answer, and as many people have found out after quitting… video games aren’t really THAT much fun compared to other hobbies that they are more passionate about. That’s why I don’t play anymore as an example… it’s not because I can’t control it, it’s just that other things are way more fun than video games. It’s hard to see that when you play them all the time though. Just something to consider.
@ Chris C – Thanks for commenting!
@ PTT – I haven’t seen it but it looked funny! Did you like it? 😛 I’m glad you enjoyed my response. Judging is something I’ve worked on a lot over the past 2 years. It’s interesting because a lot of the judging we do is because we judge ourselves the most. Something to look into is compassion, empathy and seeing the positive in people. Whenever you catch yourself judging others, stop, and remind yourself that it’s unnecessary. Don’t feel guilty for doing it, but change your response to it! Also judging is an easy way to procrastinate meeting more people. Judging isn’t bad, it’s how we respond to it.
@ A Better Man – Don’t break the chain is a great tool to use. I use it a lot too. Check out the website http://chains.cc
@ Sarah – Thanks for commenting and adding your input for Fed-Up! I think that advice is great!
@CAM Wreck it Ralph is hilarious and a tear-jerker at the same time in the same vain as “Up” and alot better than toy story 3 for me personally. I would recommend you to watch it, and it is mere nostalgic fun!. I didn’t want to watch it at first, because i just quit gaming, but it didn’t get me to want to play games which was good!
@ A Better Man and @ CAM- just looked into the ‘don’t break the chain’ that seinfeld used, loved the idea so much, i just opened up the calendar my friend bought for me, and crossed my first RED-X! gonna cross my 2nd today, and hopefully never break the chain! I’m kind of fed up of gaining weight during Christmas, so this would be excellent for it (diet and exercise)!
@ PTT – Haha I guess I will have to see it. I still haven’t seen “Up” although it has been on my list for awhile.
Cam,
First off; great article. There is a lot of worthless advice and articles out there on this subject, but yours is the best I’ve read. I I think you’re doing a great job helping a lot of people with this struggle. Personally, I don’t know if I would say I’m addicted, but I definitely play way to much black ops 2. I used to have so much drive, I worked hard, new how to network, even started my own business and was fairly successful. But recently I have gone back to college and taken up video games in my spare time. I use all the excuses stated in the comments above, especially the deal about being tired all the time. I would say video games has slaughtered my will power. I’ve put so much focus on being successful in multiplayer that I feel like my skills, drive, and interests everywhere else has nearly vanished, leaving me feeling like I’m not interested in much of anything, or that I’m good at anything. I feel like the next guy is always better than me, and I think it’s because I’ve spent so much time playing games instead of improving myself and knowing that I am a hard worker with many skills. I’ve been struggling to “rediscover” my interests. I find that most of my interests cost a much greater amount of money than playing video games does, which is the largest issue for me. College budgets aren’t very forgiving. But maybe your article will be just what I need to put down the controller and be the go-getter I once was. If I put more energy into working hard I’m sure I’ll have the resources to do the things I’d really like to do. I’m an avid outdoorsman, back country camping/hiking/kyaking is my nitch. Anyway, appreciated the article, so thanks!
And best of luck to everyone else trying to conquer video games!
@Fed-up
1) Set up a time limit, be it a year, two or three, that depends on your love for him and only you can decide what feels right.
2) Do EVERYTHING you can to help your husband.
3) If the situation doesn’t improve by the time you hit the date you’ve chosen in step 1 – consider leaving him. Sorry to be so straightforward, but there’s no point for you AND your kids to suffer, because of his addiction.
(… it’s one thing if somebody’s ruining his life with addiction, but it quite different when that person has a family and keeps doing what he’s doing, fully aware of how hurtful and damaging it is to people who love him the most.)
P.S.: Don’t be an ENABLER!
P.S.S.: As Cam mentioned look up a professional help. Read up/reach out to people who live with ‘real’ addicts such as alcoholics, gamblers (as video game addiction isn’t taken seriously yet). Check out Intervention episodes on http://www.aetv.com to see how some families deal with addicts.
@Cam: I’m loving chains.cc. Thanks a lot for the tip.
@ Markus – Thanks for commenting! I’m glad you were able to find it valuable, because I totally agree, there’s a real pain that people who want to quit have but when they search for the answers they come up with stupid ones like study more. It means a lot to me that I was able to help give you guys real answers. Willpower, etc are all different types of muscles. This is a good article on that: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/3-steps-to-build-stronger-character/
@ A_Better_Man – Thanks for adding more input! Chains.cc is great, I’m glad you found it valuable. If you have an iPhone look up the app called “Lift”. It’s great. http://lift.do
dude, this was me, back in august 2012 i was spending all my time on my xbox, skyrim, borderlands, they consumed me, one day i just stopped playing and i haven’t turned it on since, my friends still bug me to “get xbox live again” and i just keep telling them “yeah when i get some money.”
To tell the truth, i have no ambition to play those games again, they took up my time which i could have and should have spent on other more important things like expanding my knowledge, studying more and achieving my potential in life. I’ve finally realized that people shouldn’t waste their time like this, they should use that time to better themselves and the lives of others as no-one is entitled to anything, no-one deserves anything unless they work for it.
now i know that i shouldn’t be spending all my time on that couch, i should exercise more, meet new people and experience new things, instead of exist in this fake reality thats never going to get me anywhere. all i can say is that, you’re right and the only way to do it is just make yourself quit and it just becomes easier and easier. turkey is best served cold anyway :).
@ Peter – Thanks for commenting! Awesome to hear that you relate to the article, and how you have no desire to play anymore.
You nailed it with this:
“To tell the truth, i have no ambition to play those games again, they took up my time which i could have and should have spent on other more important things like expanding my knowledge, studying more and achieving my potential in life. I’ve finally realized that people shouldn’t waste their time like this, they should use that time to better themselves and the lives of others as no-one is entitled to anything, no-one deserves anything unless they work for it.”
I appreciate you adding your perspective.
Hey, it’s Liam again. I thought I’d post about the changes I’ve made in the last month since my first post. I still play games, but I’ve managed to quit the ever addicting WoW and Call of Duty as a whole. I bought Fifa13 but I find it way less addicting. I”ve cut down on milk and stuff and I’m feeling better. Only now do I realise how depressing and empty my life actually was. Im socially awkward still so I might check out other areas of the forums. You could say that I always feel judged. At friends places I’ve gotten my friends to do other things instead of electronics and I think it’s working. I’m currently on holidays and I feel no inclinations to want to return home and play games, which is always a good thing. I’m also beginning to learn guitar and I’m going to join a tennis club like I should have years ago! Thanks for the article and to everyone for the comments, I’ve kept up to date and I think I’m changing my life for the better. PS I typed this on my phone so sorry for any grammar/spelling issues.
@LIAM- that’s good progress. you cut down on ‘milk’? or is that meant to be ‘games’
judged- people judge you?, or do you feel judgemental to others?
how did you quit Call of Duty, did you have to go to the point of selling the game?
And after not playing call of duty, don’t you feel playing a less addictive game like fifa13 seem even more wortheless. that’s what happened to him, and hence the term ‘cold turkey’ in the forum.
@CAM- i know you think about this topic alot. i think this is really true. and i personally believe in the ‘flow’ myself. if anything i like the ‘meaning’ slightly more than the ‘individual happiness’.
http://jezebel.com/5975308/you-might-be-happy-but-your-life-is-still-meaningless?utm_source=kotaku.com&utm_medium=recirculation&utm_campaign=recirculation
why it’s the best time to quit videogames:
http://kotaku.com/5968198/weapons-of-mass-disruption-1-its-the-best-time-to-be-a-gamer-and-heres-how-that-happened
@Liam- does resorting to a non addictive game actually work well? I tend to lose interest in gaming too significantly, if i deny myself of the game that i love playing eg. Call of duty.well that’s my personal experience.
good work in regard to your progress though.
I found that I just stopped enjoying video games. They’re far too passive and lack substance. I enjoy grand strategy games of uber-complication, historical wargames (NOT swarm-battle crap like Total War/Craft) and some building games like Minecraft. I play these far less than I did during highschool, though.
Video games are almost always boring to me. They don’t require you to really think. They don’t require real knowledge. They don’t allow you to make real decisions. Real life > video games.
[…] One of my favourites was authored by a guy named Cameron Dare (You can follow him on twitter here: https://twitter.com/camerondare). He was an ex-CS/WoW/DOTA/SC player who often spent 16 hour days online and then managed to quit cold turkey. You can find his article here: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-quit-playing-video-games/ […]
@WILLA – it’s good that you find them boring. I am starting to get bored of COD rehashes.
General- Don’t think i will buy another console again, except if i have to move to rural areas for a new job…
What are some more competitive non-online things to do?
I’m a teenager without access to online competitive video games.
Kinda hoping to go into Business/mathematics or something, but school is incredibly boring, I get by well enough.
I’ve played wow (was for a while 6th disc healer on server) and I enjoy to manipulate the markets for 30mins~ (I generally double my gold in a month of play time over breaks)
I work with various 3D art programs… Including Blender and Autocad
I play with developing stock market programs with excel spreadsheets (aiming for it to be able to predict when to buy and sell to consistently make 12% annually)
I draw generally pencil and paper
I play chess quite often, 1300~ elo (I tend to find it kinda boring cause of the slow nature) – Bug house is more fun but faces obvious issues of finding 3 other competent players consistently.
I used to play sports (football/track) but the school I’m at I’m having certain issues with it…
I’ll stop the list here though I do other stuff too.
I generally am focusing on 2-3 of these things (doing the rest on the side) at any given point of time, before shifting my focus around once I get bored.
For some reason though I don’t feel like I’m progressing forward with any of these things…
I do have some issues with people. Its not that I can’t function with them, I can hold conversation, argue (semi) pleasantly, and appease the great and all powerful authorities in my life. I just don’t … like many of them… I currently have 2 people I enjoy being around, maybe 6 total friends and a bunch of acquaintances, unforchantly I’m not near many of them. They are in other classes/grades etc or at the school I moved away from.
I found a way to play video games on the weekends, which is fun, but its all we do and spending the entire time gaming gets dull… But I have nothing else to do with my weekends.
You mentioned the need to replace video games with something else, and I just don’t really know of anything else that is competitive and fast enough (that being particularly highlighted by the currently lack of sports in my life)… Suggestions?
I generally lack self satisfaction which is really frustrating as well… Apparently sports here are the only thing that makes you a good person. What makes one “self satisfied” other people here certainly aren’t making me satisfied?
On the note of school, qualified workers and hiring, I think Its less of a video games consume America’s education and more of America’s schools suck, are out of date, and have 0 technology used throughout. Most people I speak to are like “video games are cool – I want to make them” most schools offer java (NOT A CODING LANGUAGE FOR MAJOR GAMES) and nothing else, not 3d design, not graphic arts, not… anything, remotely technology related… Boom half your interested people gone. The other half are like books liberal arts! -> and then teach math classes >.> Real Engaging, interested math teachers please? You know who like… actually know math – and real world application there of? …
@ Liam – Thanks for the update! That’s awesome that you are doing better. Last year I spent a lot of time reworking my diet and it’s paid big dividends. I encourage you to stay off milk! Try almond milk instead, it’s really good. Keep kicking ass, I’m proud of you. There’s so many articles on this site that will help you learn to socialize better. Remember, action is the most important when it comes to improving your social skills.
@ Willa – Thanks for adding your input! I agree for sure.
@ PTT – If you do we aren’t friends anymore! Haha just kidding. 😛
@ Neoques – Thanks for commenting! Chess would be an example of competitive (we’re the same ELO!) non-online, swimming, any sports really. Business is also an awesome example. I think part of the key is to get competitive with yourself. Set goals and try to beat personal records! You have a great list, thank you for that!
I would focus on reading some good books on the subject, because a general apathy towards people is a problem that can be difficult to fix. I would look into books on self-esteem, specifically anything written by Nathaniel Branden. It may open your eyes! I’d also look into entrepreneurship because if you like things that are competitive and fast-paced, entrepreneurship is GREAT. Read the 4 hour work week.
Dear Cam,
I am 15 and tonight, I am done. I am sick of this obsession ruling my life. I have always done super well on IQ tests and assessments, but I always find myself at home thinking, “I can do this homework in an hour” and “Ok just one more hour” and finally, “well it isn’t really a big deal anyways”. I am quitting and I want to thank you for your support. You have given me the advice I need to fix my life, and beat this! I can’t thank you enough.
Sincerely,
Colton McPhail
@ Colton – Thanks for commenting! You can do it, remember “WHY” you want to quit anytime you feel like you’re getting off track. Maybe even write it down so you see it every day. Anytime you’re feeling off track, just read it again. This helps a lot!
Hi Cam, great article, I’ve forwarded on to a friend who mentioned he might try quit video games altogether soon, we are both producers, making our own music, I can’t say I’m ready to kick the habit myself just yet, but this sure give me something to think about.
@ Pixc – Thanks for commenting and sharing it with your friend. This helps a lot! That’s awesome that you produce. I have a soundcloud account with mixes you can check out if you want: http://soundcloud.com/camerondare
Hi Cam,
And what about movies? Seeing a movie is also a waste of time? Or is it art? Cant u consider enjoying a videogame as a form of art?
So it’s been a while since I’ve commented (turns out life gets in the way sometimes), and I’d like to say happy new year everyone (late I know), goddam if there isn’t a mountainload of comments for me to read through! I’ve read some and skimmed through more, and I have a lot to say, perhaps another time.
I’m happy to hear about all the former addicts who’ve found a way to break their addiction, and I hope you’ve replaced it with something more fulfilling and/or productive.
I suppose, though, that I feel compelled, almost responsible, as I did 3 or so months ago on this forum, that gaming as a medium isn’t inherently bad, but the game itself, and how/with who/how long you play that determines whether it’s good or bad for you. CAM and many others may say, and rightfully so, that there are many games to which it is easy, far easier than most hobbies or activities, to get unhealthily addicted to, with no meaningful reward either in terms of self-improvement or productiveness, but there are also many games where this doesn’t apply. There is a lot I could say in support of the medium and plenty of evidence I could use, but I don’t want to because I am fully aware that this site is for those who have gone 10 steps too far, and I don’t wish to give them anything they could use to justify themselves sticking to their addiction.
However, as I say that, there are many who blame a lot of society’s recent shortcomings on video games, laziness etc. and I feel like here I could post just one link talking about this generation’s apparent laziness, and how it’s not necessarily true – it’s short, and just one link which doesn’t even talk about gaming (apart from one tiny mention) won’t hurt I’m sure: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/29/weekinreview/29graduates.html?_r=0
Did I say “I have a lot to say, perhaps another time”, then I write this much? Well it’s shorter than my usual posts, but still…
@ Tiago – Thanks for commenting. Movies can be a waste of time for sure, but they can also be art and a good hobby/passion. It wouldn’t be recommended to spend 8+ hours every day watching movies instead of spending those 8+ hours playing video games. Spending time playing video games can be a form of art… but again, it’s very important that you pay attention to WHY you are doing it and what the actual reality is… instead of simply using various reasons as a way to justify your poor actions.
@ AK – Nice to see an update from you. Good luck reading through haha! If you do read through you’ll notice a bit of a change in my tone to take your argument into consideration, although the line is still very fine. I will check out your link. Thank you for sharing. 🙂
Talk about speedy replies CAM, and thanks I need it! I’ve been doing some work since I posted so haven’t read any more than I already have, but I’ll get to it eventually. The link, by the way, isn’t anything mindblowing, it’s a fairly short article I bumped into only today.
As for your comment Tiago, I agree with CAM, they can both be a form of art, or one of the arts (whose loosest definition is a vast subdivision of culture, composed of many endeavors (or artforms) united by their employment of the human creative impulse) – but what you get out of it depends on the game or movie – spending hours watching all the paranormal activity films, for example, isn’t going to be very intellectually/emotionally/personally rewarding is it?
I should probably end this here so that I don’t write another essay!
Excellent article. Glad you finally quit the pointless video game hobby to gain a real life! Although there is one aspect that you got completely wrong in this article. Video games actually provide no real life benefits. If you want to do something that actually benefits you in real life, then read books (even comic books count) and EXERCISE (playing any physical non-video game relate sport counts)!
related*
Cam,
How about those people who play not 8+ hours a day, but 1-2 hours a day. Not everyone is in that level of addiction. Is there anything good you can say about videogames?
@WISER
It’s funny how you mention comic books as a worthwhile hobby, then you’d consider someone reading Batman, for example (I am aware there are multiple series which address Batman and his universe, before anyone points that out), you’d consider that worthwhile? Funny that – Batman: Arkham Asylum and Batman: Arkham City were two games released in the past 3 years and manage to explore the world of Batman (though they weren’t canon) excellently, with both exemplary storytelling and fantastic gameplay – though I cannot claim to have read all the Batman comics (there’s a lot), the storytelling in the video games surely is in the same league as even the best storytelling of the comics books. Certainly it is a thousand times better than the shambolic story of the first eight volumes of the new 52 Batman: the Dark Knight series (though it did have excellent artwork (the new 52 Batman, on the other hand, much better)).
It seems to me, therefore, that your denigration of video games as something worthless and your acceptance of comics books (albeit lesser to other forms of reading, it seems) as something worthwhile is paradoxical.
Do not criticize the medium/art form, criticize the actual game, or book, or graphic novel, or whatever it may be.
And finally, asserting that someone’s wrong and presenting your own opinion without any form of evidence and/or logic isn’t going to convince someone like CAM, nor I, nor anyone worth convincing.
@TIAGO
He has good things to say about videogames, but he is loathe to say them, so that addicts that look to this website for help do not use what he says as excuses to stick to their unhealthy habits.
@PTT
Resorting to a different game does work really well, I haven’t played Call of Duty in over a month and whilst I felt annoyed I wasn’t playing it originally, now I feel nothing towards it, I don’t even want to play. I think games like Fifa 13 are less addictive because they fuel other hobbies, like when I play I feel the urge to play soccer or AFL (Australian Rules Football). I’m considering buying a Tennis game, too, because I’m pretty good at tennis but I stopped developing at the same pace as my friend a few years ago because I was just playing games instead. Looking at him now, I could beat him 6-2 a few years back, now he can beat me 6-0 easily… and he’s turning pro next year.
Just a tip, subscribe to a website that has something like lessons or teaches you things, such as hobbies. I’m starting to play guitar and i’m learning with lessons from Jamorama, so I’m going to be doing hobbies instead of other things.
Lastly, I think video games made me socially lazy. Sometimes it feels like a chore to invite friends over or to go out with them, but at the end of the day, you feel so much better about yourself, that you’re maintaining that contact with others, it’s really a good thing.
Just thought i’d say something else quickly. It’s year 11 this year for me and i’m also taking a year 12 subject. Some people said to me it was suicide, but I think I can do it if I steer myself away from distractions, and I think with my progress so far, I can do it!
Thanks so much Cam and all the commenters, I feel a new page has begun in my life.
@ Liam
Playing a game like Fifa is going to probably be less addictive then a MMORPG, but this isn’t always the case. I think it depends on the individual. I thought the same as you. I thought that as long as I stick to sport, strategy and first person shooters then I should be able to get a handle on my game time. This hasn’t been the case for me. A few years ago I started to play NBA 2K for the PC and I was immediately addicted. I’d download new skins, and new rosters everyday. I’d play my NBA schedule for hours. The same was true for Unreal Tournament. I’d download new maps and skins all the time. Then I’d play the game and tweak it to suite my taste. It takes time to do all of this stuff.
I’d tell anyone with an addictive personality to stay away from gaming. Do something more constructive with your life. Meet people. Exercise. Learn a new language.
@ AK – I’ve been trying to stay on top of the comments quickly, otherwise they add up! I’ve eased up my stance on casual gaming somewhat in the last while in comments, but it’s still difficult to encourage gaming… and yes, it’s most important to keep the people most at risk away from seeing things like “it’s ok to play.”
@ Wiser – Thanks for the comment! I don’t necessarily agree with you that video games provide NO benefits… but as I argue in my upcoming book on video game addiction, the argument that video games should be played because they add real-life benefits isn’t great because I believe these skills can be developed in other activities that are much more effective, and don’t come with the high risk of negative side effects.
@ Tiago – Thanks for your comment! For those people video games may not be that big of a deal… but I will use an example from my real life. Currently I’m living with two roommates who work 9-5 in good jobs. They are pretty social, have friends, go out, etc. They also have a hobby of DJing (like me), etc. But they also play video games almost every night, but only for 1 hour or so. No big deal right? It’s not that playing video games for them is BAD, it’s not like they are majorly addicted or anything… but I know video games aren’t adding anything real positive to their lives either. They could spend that extra hour or two doing something else that might bring more value to their life. That’s the big argument against playing games passively… it’s just more of a way to pass time than anything.
@ Liam – I love your tip about subscribing to a website that teaches you something. Great suggestion! Also, great job being aware that video games make you socially lazy. I totally agree. It’s easier to play games than go out and meet people.
@ Ben – Thanks for continuing to add to the discussion!
@Ben- couldn’t agree more with this statement of yours “I’d tell anyone with an addictive personality to stay away from gaming. Do something more constructive with your life. Meet people. Exercise. Learn a new language.”
Forza4, NBA2K11 and NBA2K12, FIFA12 were my most addictive games.’
got addicted to http://www.meetup.com at least its better. or dance or something.
Meetup.com is a great site! Super easy to find awesome activities and events to do. 🙂
i couldn’t disagree more with the whole outlook of your post.
-your first mistake is to vilify gaming.
gaming is awesome. it’s the most advanced form of entertainment ever conceived. in time it will evolve into virtual reality and we will be playing within simulated universes. living out things that aren’t even possible now.
you constantly get to live out awesome experiences in amazing worlds with cool characters and stories. you get to experience a hell of a lot more than there is in the real world. that’s the current state of gaming. not to mention what it will be like with VR and when artificial intelligence advances 10 more years and you can start to form real connections and complex interactions with NPC’s.
-your next mistake is to act like half the alternatives you mentioned are superior.
why is going outside or learning something or meeting people any better? if someone enjoys gaming, then are they not enjoying their life?
-then you try to outline steps to combat the addiction.
when you fight something that way, it rules your life. why fight something that is so awesome? if you would be happier doing other things.. then you would be doing those other things. if you’re the type that gets deep into gaming, then that’s what you enjoy. so you should do it. and you should absolutely structure your life to support the addiction. how is that any different from being addicted to getting laid or being a workaholic or being addicted to travel/art/music/etc.?
you are a pseudointellectual. you have been fed a bunch of BS about what’s really important. you bought it. you took the bait. hook line and sinker you now live a ridiculous lie. and your life is inferior for it.
i’m sorry but to me, people like you that have separated themselves from games are to be pitied. i truly do pity you. you have removed from your life possibly the best thing in it.
and the games you listed are nothing compared to the games you’ve missed.
@David
I hope this is a joke. Virtual reality will never take the place of real life. How are you able to live the life of your dreams when you are constantly behind a computer monitor?
“you constantly get to live out awesome experiences in amazing worlds with cool characters and stories. you get to experience a hell of a lot more than there is in the real world.”
I’m sorry but that is a very sad statement. I’d rather go outside and meet real people who breathe real air then hang out with cool characters. Hell I’d rather hang put with a-holes then with a computer controlled character any day.
Just my opinion.
@DAVID
Troll (gamer), or just deluded (gamer), I can’t even…
@ David – Thanks for your comment. I appreciate you adding your feedback into the discussion.
Experiences that happen in real life are much more fulfilling and significant in one’s life than those experienced in gaming. I imagine we could find scientific studies that would back this up.
However, my stance is not so much against gaming as-in gaming is bad, merely that the high risk of addiction encourages me to recommend against gaming, since it CAN affect your life negatively very much.
As you can see in the comments, there are MANY MANY people who enjoy gaming but are NOT happy with their life because of it. One of the main reasons for this is because it’s common nowadays for people to begin gaming at a very early age (hello iPads, iPad minis, gameboys, etc), and sure enough they move onto xbox, playstation and eventually PC gaming. Because of this, they’ve never actually developed other hobbies or interests – even though they know they want to. Thus, gaming becomes all they know.
The way I attempt to combat gaming is by accepting that the gaming part of your life has ended. It’s a chapter that is now CLOSED. It’s not that gaming was bad, or that you didn’t enjoy it, merely that what you want now for your life, what you value, what your dreams, goals and aspirations include, are just different than what they were when you gamed. It’s not necessary to regret all the time you spent gaming, only that you value other parts of life now, and want to move on to something new. This doesn’t rule your life, it’s a second chance for the life you actually want to life. I go more in detail of this in my book which will be released soon. Again, as I said above, just because someone plays games all day long doesn’t necessarily mean they are meant to be gamers… merely that gaming sometimes can be all they know. Being a workaholic, addicted to getting laid, or any of the other activities you mentioned are no better if they are out of balance. I do not recommend spending all your time on these, although I do believe replacing gaming with a different activity that involves other aspects of life is a GREAT way to get your life in balance… even if that means you may start “out of balance”.
As an example, when I first quit gaming I started going out and meeting people every night, 7 days a week. Was this healthy? Kind of. Not completely. I was spending a huge chunk of my time meeting people instead of gaming, and this kept my life out of balance… however, through this process I developed more confidence, awareness, more friends, etc and these contributed positively to me getting my life more in balance and helped me determine what I really wanted to do. In fact, some of the people I met during this time are now very close to me and influenced other activities I started. I met my business partner during this time and started this website, I met another guy who’s one of my best friends and he’s been a big influence on me becoming an entrepreneur. I also met my 2 roommates I currently live with who were the guys I also started DJing with. The reason going out and meeting people (even if it was out of balance originally) was BETTER than gaming for those same hours, was that it changed my environment, my circle of influence, and that has lead to me living and developing a life closer to what I truly value and want, instead of one where I gamed all day uncontrollably and felt a high degree of shame because of it.
Again, I appreciate your comments and wish you the best on your journey.
@BEN
You simply don’t understand how the brain works. The brain is a black box. It takes input, processes it and produces output in the form of conscious thoughts/sensations and physical actions. Since VR can simulate this completely, there is no reason VR won’t replace what you call “real life” interactions someday.
Also, it seems you have an arbitrary definition of what “real life” is. There is no reason to think of gaming as anything other than real life. Like most people have you have been fed a bunch of BS about what’s important. And as a result, you vilify gaming. Your primitive understanding of what VR will do for our culture shows that you have low intelligence as well so this is probably falling on deaf ears.
@C.W-C
Not troll. Just incredibly intelligent, objective, and realistic.
@CAM
“Experiences that happen in real life are much more fulfilling and significant in one’s life than those experienced in gaming. I imagine we could find scientific studies that would back this up.”
I disagree with this completely. And I imagine any “scientific” studies you found backing this up would be heavily biased to begin with. 99% of scientific studies are nonsense. Just putting the adjective “scientific” in front of something doesn’t change the fact that it was carried out by fallible humans who are in 99.99999% of cases, far less intelligent than me.
You mention that people will take on gaming and not develop other hobbies that they know they want to. But it would work the same way in reverse. Maybe they will take up those other hobbies and never get into gaming despite knowing they want to. I don’t see any reason why gaming is any worse than those other hobbies. But honestly I see a lot of reasons that it’s better.
I agree with this so much. The quitting cold turkey part. I notice my best improvement when i just stop all together. I cant just stop a little because the “just one more” thing kicks in and i become weak. I wish i could control myself but the competitive aspect just makes me want to get better. *sigh* im glad im not alone and not the only one that ive broken a promise to myself to. I just started playing again for a similar reason. A coworker started playing games with him and i said to myself that i could play a few with hum just to teach him some stuff but it escalated quickly….
Thanks so much for this article!
@ everyone but CAM in particular
This all reminds me of arguments on whether gaming can be constituted art, and the time when TV was the new thing and so many criticized it for ruining our children, making us lazy etc.
It seems to me that this is a pattern that we’ve seen before. A new medium -TV- comes out , it initially is viewed quite well (in the early days TV wasn’t criticized so heavily), it then starts exploding in popularity as in becomes more widely used due to lower cost/other reasons, the big companies exploit this and release content that panders to the lowest common denominator (such as reality TV shows – need I say more?), many people criticize TV for destroying people’s minds and bodies with these kinds of shows, but so long as demand exists such material will still be produced. Of course TV is still popular, and the criticisms still exist, but focus has been drawn away from it and towards gaming – mainly because gaming is the new thing – and people always fear that which they do not understand, whether fully or at all.
A similar pattern can be seen with gaming history – in 1988, Bill O’Reilly actually had an inside Edition Story on the Mario Brothers craze – check the internet, look how positive the video is – and look at Fox News now. Pretty big difference, don’t you think?
Switching to books for a moment, look at one of the most popular series at the moment out there – Twilight, which has sold over 116 million copies worldwide. (Do you know just how bad the series is? It’s really bad. Trust me on this one). If someone (who fairly well-educated/intelligent/sophisticated) who’s never seen a book before looks at just this book , they’re not going to have a very good opinion of the medium, are they? If someone just considers all the reality tv shows on tv, then of course they might think that tv’s terrible. In the exact same way, if you just look at the most mainstream/popular/addictive games out there, gaming will seem bad as well.
The fact is in any creative medium many, though not all, of the most popular pieces of work will pander to the lowest common denominator, and many, though not all, of the greatest pieces of work may not be popular, and a big reason why this is is because of money. Far too often money is put first – that’s why all the superhero storyreboot movies are being made, as people are much more easily sold on an idea they’re familiar with and they vaguely like, rather than one they don’t know, even if it might be amazing. That’s why in Japan you keep seeing sequels in game franchises rather than completely new IPs.
I’m not saying that these are always bad – they can be great pieces of work, but it’s just to illustrate the point that the most popular examples of a given medium do not necessarily reflect the medium’s potential. Yes, there is a real danger with people excessively playing addictive grindy generic meaningless games – online or not, popular or not – but not every game is like that, even if you have to look past many of the more popular games out there to see that.
I also want to mention the oft-used real vs. virtual argument. Yes, games don’t occur in real life. No-one (or very few) think that the Harry Potter series is bad for you, or books with fictional stories in general, yet why games? A double-standard here, it seems. So what if it’s not real? When I read Harry Potter as a child, what made me love the series more than anything else? Was it the magic? That was great, sure, but what really made me love it was the characters, the emotions, friendship, courage, love, hate, betrayal, tragedy, good vs evil – things that, though they didn’t actually happen, we, as readers, could understand , relate to, and, more than anything else, appreciate. The story may not be real, but what I felt as a child in response to it certainly was, and that’s what matters most of all – and any game with a good fictional story should be thought of in the same way.
As always CAM, I fully understand that this website is dedicated to those who are addicted, and so you have to watch what you say in consideration for them. I suppose I just want to offer a fair yet positive view of gaming to remind people that it’s not all bad.
AK you know who I think of when I read your comments? Of a regular guy coming to AA meetings and trying to convince the alcoholics that booze isn’t all that bad. You’re of course right, but what’s the point?
In your case games are fun past-time, but most people who read this article, read it because they wish to free themselves of video game addiction, so why ‘offer a positive view of gaming’?
A daily glass of red wine is supposedly good for you.. but would you recommend it to a recovering alcoholic? I don’t think so. Of course, objectively you’d be correct, but in that person I’d probably trigger a downright spiral right back into a hardcore addiction.
As to books vs games vs movies. Books and movies aren’t addicting.
TV and video gaming are being criticized because they’re passive activities. We’re consuming instead of creating (thus wasting our lives). You might argue that reading also falls into the same category and you’d be right if all one reads is ONLY fiction. Of course, there’s time to relax and do mindless activities to unwind, actually it is necessary for a balanced life, but remember that what works for you (e.g. gaming) might not work for others.
@A_BETTER_MAN
And…. your whole point is invalidated. Gaming is not a passive activity.
Mindlessly playing stupid sports/racing/fighting/competitive-fps games are. Same goes for the mindless variety of ANY activities/hobbies.
If you’re like me and most people with IQ’s well over the 4 s.d. threshold (160+) then you probably play almost every high-rated video game that comes out. Including the “thinking” games like Portal/Portal 2/Braid/etc. You beat them all and rapidly move on to more.
You’re constantly stimulated, learning new controls, stimulating the formation of new muscle memory, learning new stories/characters/game mechanics and generally having a very dynamic time of it.
CAM, being a very hardcore gamer myself I can very much relate to what you have said. I live in a country where there is constant access to pirated software and games, so there is no end to the amount of gaming I can do. Whats worse is that there aren’t that many social places to go to ( I live in Libya) so video games are an even bigger temptation. Ever since I was 5 I’ve had this addiction, starting with the gameboy color and all the way to the xbox and everything in between. Although i have picked up other hobbies to improve my over all lifestyle, I have noticed that video games hinder my professionalism in such hobbies as for example guitar. My parents have always frowned upon this addiction. I have wanted to quit games for about a week but i haven’t figured out what was wrong cause I obviously still haven’t quit. But by reading this article I fully understand why I’m still mashing buttons. And it was because of the “just a little more” thought process, which wasted away about 2-3 hours from a planned 30 minute gaming session. Same applies to gaming reviews and news. I play all kinds of games due to the cheap and easy access i have to them. So just learning of new big game such as metal gear or the new pokemon had me pondering on whether I should quit or not. But after reading this article I began to remind myself of the goals i want to achieve and habbits I want to keep. Thank you CAM for this amazing article and I will share it with friends who have the similar problems.
@ A_better_man
I’ve already stated several times that I know the primary aim of this forum is not to mindlessly bash games but to help those who are addicted. I am well aware of this.
However, there are still some in the comments who are mindlessly bashing games, and I want to provide a semblance of balance to the discussion.
By the way, gaming is not necessarily a passive activity like TV (usually) is, you’re actually doing something, you’re interacting with the characters, the story, you’re thinking what to do etc. Granted, though, some games can be somewhat passive.
I am also aware that everyone should have a creative outlet, but sometimes you need a berak, and games CAN be a creative outlet – though granted with several of the more “mainstream” this isn’t the case.
Finally, you cannot be addicted to books or movies? Granted, perhaps not as easily, but it’s certainly possible – have you never met anyone who just spends all their time reading books or watching movies? I’ve certainly met the former, and I’ve heard of the latter as well.
I suppose this forum isn’t the best place for me to offer such a view, but I always state in my comments what I stated at the beginning of this one, so that should tell those who are addicted that this doesn’t apply to them, and that this is for the guys who aren’t.
PS I used granted a few too many times perhaps :p
@ Brian S – Thanks for commenting! Don’t guilt yourself about your past decisions, just focus on making the ones you DO want to make moving forward. You can do it. 🙂
@ AK – I definitely agree with you about the emotions felt in games and being able to relate to them just as you would in “real-life”. My argument for the difference in games and “real-life” is certainly not disagreeing with that assessment. I would argue more along the lines of the difference between interactions that happen online vs. ones that happen in coffee shops – not that interactions that happen online are bad or anything, but the EXPERIENCE between the one you have online and the one you have sitting across from each other in a coffee shop are different, no doubt. (Yes, I would also add that texting would be similar to the “online” experience, and is no better.) Another example I would use is going on a quest online vs. a quest in “real-life”. (To be honest, I feel like the usage of ‘real-life’ to be ridiculous – I hate the word.) But as I was saying, the experience you have going for a hike in the mountains vs. going for a hike in a video game are very different, and I would have a hard time arguing that the experience of climbing mount everest in person vs. climbing it in a video game to be better, more fulfilling, etc. Nothing of my argument states that the experience you can have in games is not good or something worth feeling good about, merely the difference in the experience in-person or not. As always, I appreciate your input, and think it’s an important contrast to have in our discussion.
@ David – People with an IQ of 160+ is less than 1% of the total population. Are we really basing our argument on a group of people that represents such a low number of people? Maybe people that fall into that category who display behavior of playing Portal and all of those “smart” games should certainly continue playing video games… but there’s a reason World of Warcraft, Call of Duty, etc are the “most popular” games and the ones people are addicted to, with an addiction that is having serious negative implications on their life. At the end of the day, (and I appreciate AK being able to recognize this)… the point of this article and/or my further comments aren’t so much to prove that my opinion is absolutely without exception correct… merely that there is an alarming amount of people who are looking to quit, who ARE addicted, who ARE having their lives dramatically affected (negatively) because of it, and can be successful in turning their life around by implementing the strategies I recommend. Maybe in your mind they should continue, and maybe you’d be correct in a debate contest, but at the end of the day, your argument doesn’t solve the problem that all of these guys who are looking for help need, so does it really matter?
@ Red – Thanks for your comment! Hello from Canada! You’re on the right path. Awareness is the first step, from here you can do it, you just need to remember WHY you want to stop and keep reminding yourself of these! I’m proud of you! Thank you for sharing it with your friends.
hi i am 14 and i am addicted to computer games. i use to go to school happy and wouldn’t mind it but then my brother got me into them now i hate school. I use to be the number 1 student in almost all my classes and now i am not even in the top 10. my parents are getting angry at me cause all i do in the holidays is sit at home am play all day until 5am in the morning then sleep during the day. I don’t even know how to make friends i have very poor social skills due to i am shy, and what makes it worse is that i haven’t hit my growth spurt so everyone at school teases me about i have a high pitch voice and calling me gay when i am not i don’t know how to tell them off because of games took over my life. please i need really big help.
@CAM
You’re definitely right when you say online and face-to-face interactions are different (see I didn’t say ‘real-life’ just so you won’t get annoyed :p, and besides I dislike the term as well) – I’ve never pretended that they are, but often the difference can be minimal e.g. skyping with people (friends, family etc.) that you meet often face-to-face (like I often do when playing online) isn’t a huge problem/hugely different – you can still see them and would still converse in much the same way, and you’ll see them soon face-to-face anyways – perhaps you couldn’t meet that day for some reason, or are away for the weekend, or are bedridden etc. When online interaction supplements face-to-face interactions like this there there’s not much bad that you can associate with it – it’s not necessarily ‘worse’ just an alternative.
When it comes to online interaction with friends/family you don’t meet often, however, then the difference becomes more apparent – of course you’d want to see them more often face-to-face, but you can’t, so you resort to something like skyping. The big limitation become apparent – you can’t do physical (struggling for alternative terms to real-life here) things together.
When it comes to online interaction in general, with the average online stranger, then of course there’s a myriad of differences, which I don’t feel like going into because I’m afraid I’ll write yet another essay.
In terms of the experience of in-game tasks vs their actual equivalents – with your example, of course the experiences are hugely different – climbing a mountain for real (I’ve climbed to something like1000-1300m peak (kinda big range I know, it might be more not really sure), though I don’t think I started at exactly sea level – this was during an expedition, 20km or so a day (6-9 hours a day) for 4 days in Wales, overall great, would recommend to anyone trying an expedition like that at some point in your life) takes far longer, involves large physical and mental effort, as well as intelligent preparation etc. Some things, though, it’s better to experience through a game e.g. points where you’re the villain, life-threatening situations etc. , sometimes it’s impossible otherwise and sometimes it allows you to experience something through someone else’s perspective, which might be more difficult/impossible for real.
There’s not much you said I can disagree with at all, this is just some elaboration and qualifying of what you said.
I’ve been fumbling over the idea to quit video games since the beginning of this year. I really am glad I came across your article Cam. The only issue with me quitting is, if it was regular console games that didn’t involve much social interaction, I’d most likely be able to quit cold turkey just fine. However as I began to play starcraft and warcraft 3, I developed online friends that I ended up being friends with for around six years so far currently. Eventually, I dug myself a deeper hole into this addiction. I began to use Xfire to voice chat with them, which led to skyping, which led to facebooking them. It led to me eventually talking to a few of them on emotional levels about a few personal issues now and then, but what we mainly want to do was play some games. It’s now to the point where there’s only really me and one other person left actively gaming together regularly almost everyday since the others have left. So my whole issue with quitting is, I feel emotionally shackled to this friend who I’ve known for so long, and for some reason I think I’ll be deeply saddened if I leave him all alone. Of course I know he has other friends as do I, but it would still be somewhat melancholic for me. I realize that if I kick this addiction, I could do so much more and live such a more fulfilling life. I’m only through my fourth semester of college so far, but kicking it now may be better than later.
Sorry if the stuff I typed above doesn’t connect much with what’s being said, but yeah. Thanks for your advice Cam, appreciate it greatly.
Hey dude This article is *Fantastic*…..Well I’ll try my best to quit them now. I play many games like 16 hours daily and don’t do anything except eat play and sleep. I’ve gone lazy I was a the best in my school but now I’m not the best… 🙁 This really tempts me up and i tried to quit the game and couldn’t 🙁 I’ll Try this for an experiment and Hope to get up back again …..
Thanks
Hay friend thanks for the article. It is really good. BTW 47 is my player name in the game. I’m not that much addicted to the games but some. I played a game called “Urban Terror” and I’m addicted to it (played about 10 hrs a day). Those days im at homee doing nothing. Last three months i slowly reduced play time (to 2-3 hours a day). Yesterday is my B’day so i decided to permanently STOP playing the game. Today i deleted that game from my HDD. So hopefully i will stop playing it. 😀 😀 😀
Thanks……
@ Alex Wurr – Thanks for commenting! Read the advice in the comments of this post, there’s SO MUCH good advice and you can also see that you’re not alone. There’s many other kids your age who struggle with this so you’re not alone. It’s time for you to develop new hobbies and other interests outside video games. It will be worth it! 🙂
@ AK – I definitely agree with what you’ve said. I guess one of my main points about the difference is even in the fact that when you communicate face-to-face there’s many other social cues going on (sub-communications, body language, etc) that you work on and thus help to improve your overall social abilities, whereas online interaction misses these elements so the amount you learn and develop socially is far less than through face-to-face interactions.
@ CC – Thanks for commenting! I am glad you came across it as well. This is definitely one of those things people struggle with, and I did too. It’s interesting because I, too, had many online friends who I talked to regularly (even about personal stuff). When I quit gaming, we didn’t immediately stop being friends, we still could talk on Facebook, etc. Although we did eventually drift apart, not oall of my friends and I did. Some of them I still talk to today. It’s important to identify interests outside of video games with them in order to maintain those friendships… and also, make new friends in person too. Does that make sense?
@ Ahmad Khalil – Thanks for commenting and for the compliment. I’m so happy people find value in this article. It means a lot to me! Remember the keys to success are to fill the time you play video games currently with other activities… so if you’re playing games 16 hours a day, you will need multiple activities to combat it. Make sure you add working out and some other hobbies into the equation. You can do it!
@ 47 – Thanks for commenting and for the compliment! Happy birthday also! This is going to be the best year of your life, I can feel it! 🙂 Good luck.
@CAM
That is often true, but with skyping (and others video chat programs/websites/apps) you can see the person/people you’re talking to, so I imagine at least the visual cues can be accounted for in that respect. Even when it is true, it can have advantages, like people not judging you based on how you look but on what you say instead, it allows people to be more open as they aren’t constrained by the desire to obey social norms (not as much anyway) thanks to anonymity … I realize that this is talking about the internet and online interaction in general rather than within games, but in any case if you’re interacting online with people you know well and see often, then what they say and the tone they say it in is probably enough to allow you to socially interact with them in an appropriate manner, and with video chats, even better – as I said before, I certainly think as a supplement to face-to-face interaction you can’t really go wrong with online interaction.
correct. the distinction between virtual and “real life” interactions is completely arbitrary.
that is why i feel that the original author of this page is so woefully unintelligent. and that his overall point is completely wrong.
Hey, I just read this acticle and let me just tell you that im probably different. I play Video games all the time i even think about it in school. My grades are starting to drop (average now a 74%) my parents are tough on me. im not active. i play no sports. im lonely and scrawny. Literlly i have no friends because they are all into other things that are “cool” ad get girls. Please…. my parents are tough on me for grades and i just feel bad everytime i come home with my report card. Wtf do i do…… I dont feel like a normal person
@Mohamed I know what its like :/ I had the same predicament a couple months ago, except I’m home schooled and my mom was always on me about doing school.
I also havnt had very many friends outside of games.
The thing is normal is a illusion that is put onto us, like all boys have to take charge and play sports and be courageous and were not allowed to cry.
But its all a lie.
You are yourself :).
Now the only way to stop your parents from getting mad at you for bad grades, is to just slow down and the video games and study more 🙂 and its alright to not be chasing the ladies I’m 17.5 and have never had a girlfriend 🙂
And have you ever played hedge wars? Not to get you hooked on another game i just knew someone with the same story and name from the game
@DAVID
As a general tip, insulting someone so needlessly won’t help get your point across to them. Something you might want to keep in mind.
Also, the distinction isn’t entirely arbitrary, in terms of communication with others via a virtual medium then perhaps then the distinction is arbitrary on some level but there can be a large distinction between things you do on a virtual and real-life level. Saving a life in real life or killing someone in real life vs in a game, for example – a pretty big difference isn’t it?
Hey Cam,
Do you have some tips for persevering through the temptation of playing again?
@ Mohamed – Thanks for commenting! If you read through the rest of the comments on this post, you will find out one thing: You are NOT alone! There’s over 700 comments on this post and many of them are guys JUST LIKE YOU who are going through the same thing! (See Neet’s comment below). Pretty awesome hey?
@ Neet – Thanks for contributing to the conversation. 🙂
@ Lawrence – Thanks for commenting! One of the best tips I’ve learned is to remind yourself “WHY” you are doing what you’re doing. If you know WHY you can do any HOW… is my butchered version of a famous quote that I’m currently too lazy to look-up. (A great book on the subject of why is Viktor Frankl’s “A man’s search for meaning”.)
Thanks guys i feel like im not alone!
@AK
Sometimes realistic (and accurate) self assessment and assessment of others can come off as an insult. It’s not my fault that people don’t like being less intelligent. But intellect is not some human heritage that everyone has equal amounts of. That doesn’t make genetic sense. And there’s no arguing the fact that those of lower intelligence will struggle to realize the arbitrarity of the differences between the real and virtual world.
And your life saving example is still arbitrary. If our entire existence was virtual. If we were hooked up to machines that allowed us to play realistic games in a virtual environment with so much “digital neural interface” that breaking contact equaled cessation of biological function outside of the simulation, then there would be no difference.
The only reason this isn’t the case right now is because we still happen to be a little over a decade away from that level of immersion.
Again you are drawing arbitrary distinctions to defend a point that is just wrong. And that I can clearly see as wrong due to incredibly high intelligence.
This isn’t a matter of “let’s argue and see who wins! lolZ!!”
This is a matter of “can david explain it to the others so they get it?”
And it looks like I am not succeeding. But know that this is a failing on your end; not mine.
@DAVID
For someone so intelligent, you don’t seem to be very good at talking to people – surely someone of your vast intellect would know that most people are far more willing to listen and far more likely to be convinced of your reasing when you use such unnecessarily harsh language, even if you weren’t trying to be insulting – simple psychology I would’ve thought for someone with an IQ over 160 – and by the way, less than 3 in 100,000 people have that kind of IQ, so I have my doubts there shall we say. In any case, it isn’t your fault you are as intelligent as you supposedly are, but neither is it anything you should be proud of, merely grateful for. As you already stated, people are born with different levels of intelligence – you cannot earn or work towards intelligence, you can only do your best to use what intelligence you have in an appropriate manner, and you should only be proud of something you’ve actually worked for not a talent that you were lucky to have due to chance.
Furthermore, by your own admission, currently, at the very least, there IS a difference between the virtual world and real life, because of the level of immersion we are so far able to accomplish. Notice how in my previous post I never mention such futursitic virtual mediums, it is heavily implied I’m talking about the ones that we currently have, where my argument still stands. Next time please don’t attack an extrapolation of my argument – I thought surely you would know to avoid a strawman fallacy. Along to same vein, surely you are aware of the ad hominen fallacy as well, so you should probably stop using it so often in your posts.
I could at this point talk at length about your suggested virtual environment, but I’m tired, so perhaps another time.
@David: Your quotes:
people like you that have separated themselves from games are to be pitied. i truly do pity you. you have removed from your life possibly the best thing in it.
Your primitive understanding (…) shows that you have low intelligence.
Not troll. Just incredibly intelligent, objective, and realistic.
99% of scientific studies are nonsense. (…) it was carried out by fallible humans who are in 99.99999% of cases, far less intelligent than me.
If you’re like me and most people with IQ’s well over the 4 s.d. threshold (160+) then you probably play almost every high-rated video game that comes out.
i feel that the original author of this page is so woefully unintelligent. and that his overall point is completely wrong.
It’s not my fault that people don’t like being less intelligent.
I can clearly see as wrong due to incredibly high intelligence.And it looks like I am not succeeding. But know that this is a failing on your end; not mine.
—
W-wow… compensating for much? Btw. does the following sound familiar to you?
– Feels grandiose and self-important
– Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people
– Feels entitled. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her unreasonable expectations for special and favorable priority treatment
– Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with, acknowledge, or accept the feelings, needs, preferences, priorities, and choices of others.
– Behaves arrogantly and haughtily. Feels superior, omnipotent, omniscient, invincible, immune, “above the law”, and omnipresent. Rages when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted by people he or she considers inferior to him or her and unworthy.
Those are just some of the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.. you might wanna look into it.
Cheers and thanks for the very helpful and eye-opening input (that’s sarcasm in case you missed it). Please don’t misunderstand when I won’t reply to you anymore, this forum is for people fighting gaming addiction not for arguing and I will keep it clean. I have no problem with people having a different opinion then me if they’re respectful and have some valid points, but sadly, that’s not your case.
—
@AK: You mentioned the climbing expedition. That sounds very interesting. How did find out about it? Who organizes it? Were you part of some club? Any per-requisites? Thanks
@David: On the other hand, if you’re just trolling.. Job well done:)
@A_BETTER_MAN
What made me laugh in particular were some of their statistics – 99% of scientific studies are nonsense – I mean flawed I would understand but complete nonsense? It’s those studies that have allowed us to advance medicine and increase our life expectancies by so much over the past couple of hundred years, those studies that have allowed us to understand so much about the world, evolution, how genes are passed on… I could go on the list is ridiculously long, but you get my point. Not only that, they claim that in 99.99999% of case, people are far less intelligent than them. Surely someone of their intellect would know that people with over 160 IQ are actually only in the 99.997th percentile, based on the requirements for joining the Prometheus society : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_IQ_society
Regarding the walking/climbing expedition, you have to live in the UK to do it, and it’s called the Duke of Edinborough: http://www.dofe.org. It’s not just a climbing/walking expedition though, you have to do volunteering for an extended period of time, a residential, a sport to a certain level for an extended period, etc – it’s all on the website.
The expedition itself for the Gold category generally involes between 80-96 km walking/climbing (there are expeditions wheer othe forms of transporation eg cycling can be used I think but I didn’t do those) in wild country over 4 days and 3 nights. I did mine in Wales, and as you can imagine, the most rural areas of Wales would involve some climbing, no technology of any kind is allowed, you have to use a map to navigate, carry all your stuff with you, etc – standard stuff.
Hey dude your story inspired my to quit gaming because I was wasting my fucking life started studying more in school been on A-honor role since and started long boarding more because I saw things with a new light because I was no longer chained to my computer so thank you, you influenced me to change my life so technically you changed my life.
Hey Cam,
I started playing games when I was 11 years old, and have been playing since (I am now 21). If you take away sleep, school, and work from my schedule, at least 50% of the free time (from age 11 to 21) was spent to playing games including Medal of Honor, Warcraft III, Age of Empires III, Socom 2 & 3, Call of Duty, Diablo III, League of Legends, World of Warcraft, Minecraft, Dota, Counter-Strike, Team Fortress 2, and many more. I have spent at least $5000 on games. Gaming has single-handedly damaged my life, in many aspects including (but not limited to) social life, family, friends, school (barely passed high school), depression, and one major problem is that it made me extremely lazy and procrastinate. Because of this, I have been overweight for the most part. There was a year or so where I moved in to a dorm and lived with 5 other guys. During this time, my social life was extravagant and didn’t play a single game for the whole year. After this, I moved back home and started again. Now I am living in my own apartment, which I just recently moved to a new state. The only person I know is my girlfriend who is also trying to help me break this addiction. The past month or so, I have spent about 8 hours a day playing World of Warcraft. Today I finally admit I need help. I am quitting cold turkey. I just uninstalled all my games and am going to work on bettering my life and doing other things I enjoy. 11 years of this and it ends today. Your post has shed insight in to my life. I am grateful for that. I think it would be awesome if there were Gamer’s Anonymous or “accountability buddies” group. Have people who have gone through this talk to others who are going through it.
Hey CAM, I was reading your article and must say you put the finger right on some of the main mecanisms used in games that are potentially addictive. Because, those elements are not present in games by luck. Jamie Madigan at http://www.psychologyofgames.com/ does such a good job at explaining this.
And you are right about popular advices about stopping being void. It’s the same as those dating advices: Just be yourself. Yeah right…
I’ve started some serious research about this addiction. That’s what I do instead of playing. To each their own. I’ll probably use some of your ideas for a next article.
I just want to say to all the people here trying to stop. the problem is real (a clinical condition in fact) and it’s gonna be harder than we think. 100% stopping as CAM suggest is probably the best solution.
I’m glad this post has created a constructive space where video game issues can be discussed without shame. Nice work CAM.
Okay, I haven’t touched video games in like a month now. I’ve played a couple of games for maybe 30 min, but nothing more than that. I’ve discovered I enjoy cooking, and now I cook a lot of different dishes and like to learn about the culinary arts. I don’t procrastinate as often either. I also get more sleep. Otherwise, I haven’t seen that many other changes. I still have a lot of self-improvement that needs to be done. I don’t think I’ll quit video games completely, because it can be fun sometimes to play with friends, or relax like you would with a good tv series, but MMO’s or games where I benefit by playing more than everyone else are big no no’s.
@A_BETTER_MAN
I wrote and submitted a response to you a few days ago, I have no idea what happened to it but I’ll try and quickly recreate it here:
Some of David’s statistics did indeed amuse me, people with over 160 IQ are not in the top 0.00001% but rather in the top 0.003% of people in terms of intelligence – you’d think someone of their intelligence would know that, Not only that, 99% of scientific studies are nonsense? Flawed yes, but nonsense? I wonder how they would explain all the advancements we’ve made in our understsanding of the world, medicine, technology etc.
Regarding the climbing expedition, it is only available if you live in the UK for people between 14-24 years old, and is called the Duke of Edinborough. It does not just involve a walking/climbing expedition but also extended volunteering, commitment in sports, and a residential at the top level. There are 3 of these – bronze, silver and gold. I did the gold level award, whose expedition length is 4 days and 3 nights, and generally involves 80-96km walking (other modes of transportation are possible but I did walking) over wild/open country (a mixture of both). I did mine in Wales, so you can imagine that I had to do some amount climbing in some of the more rural parts of Wales. No modern technology is allowed with you, you have to carry everything in a large backpack, etc. – standard camping rules.
You can find out more on the website, which is an easy google search away.
@AK
I find it amusing how people of inferior intelligence constantly try to knock people like me down. It bugs you so much that I’m in such a different statistical range as you that you feel the irresistible urge to convince yourselves that I’m not what I say I am. Or to try to find flaws in my reasoning.
Guess what? I never said my IQ was 160. You put that little tidbit in my mouth. I said I was smarter than 99.99999% of people. My IQ is actually significantly higher than 160.
And to explain advancements in science in technology I need only point out that one person like me for every thousands of crackpot politically-motivated “science” groups is enough to ensure that the real science and the real tech and the real philosophy gets advanced significantly over time.
And finally, someone of my intelligence IS aware of the statistical distribution of intelligence. Well enough to know that you are within the +/- 1 s.d. range and that the chance of anything I say making any sense to someone like you is roughly 1 in a 1000.
this is dumb. i play video games. (not a geek). i work 9 hourse a day of hard labor and,i get girls, i have friends. their is nothing wrong with playing on spare time. its just like watching a movie (everyone watches movies and you are not normal if you dont).you wast an hour to an hour and a half doing that so why not wast that hour or so playing a video game. its just a pass time. i do agree that most people play them wayyyy too much and should find better things to do. but as long as you don’t over do it like your former self and other people its not a problem. by the way. congrats on bettering yourself.
@DAVID
Notice the only reason I first talked to you only because you had unnecessarily insulted CAM’s intelligence, and I didn’t even try to bring you down in that first post – I only advised you to stop insulting them and I attempted to argue your point. In your following post, you try to counter-argue my point, but you also unnecessarily insult me. Only then in my following did I start to get somewhat offensive and ‘bring you down’, though beneath the tone I was still arguing and not just hurling insults. This clearly shows that I never started ‘bringing you down’ because of your intelligence, but because of your actions. Even if you think you were being brutally honest rather than insulting, surely you knew what you said could be construed as an insult – and, looking back at one of your posts, you admit you did – and so would it not have been better to use more appropriate language to avoid causing unneeded strife – if not in order to be polite then at the very least so that you’re more likely to convince whoever you are arguing with. I’m sure you know that generally people who are insulted by some other person are less likely to listen or be convinced by their reasoning, and aren’t you posting on this blog for that very reason – to persuade us of your point of view? Given these facts I’d like to apologize for my tone in the last couple of posts – but do not misattribute the reason behind it – it was because of what you did, not because of your intelligence.
Furthermore, I understood everything you said. For example, it was I who first mentioned the statistical distribution of intelligence before you did, so clearly I understood at least that point, so evidently I at the very least understood at least some of what you said.
You also said you had an IQ ‘well over the 4 s.d. threshold (160+)’ – this implied that it was still closer to this threshold than any other – generally in the English language when one says ‘over x of y’, where x is some round/approximate number , like your figure of 160 IQ, it’s implied the actual amount of y is closer to x that any other round/approximate number. To be fair, you said ‘well over’, so perhaps my assumption was a little bit hasty, but I’m sure you can understand the ambiguity of your statement.
I’d also like to point out that being more intelligent than 99.99999% of people makes you one of the (approximately) 700 most intelligent people on Earth – I’m sure you already knew this, I just wanted to state how amazingly impressive that is and that with that kind of intelligence, you could easily be someone of great importance (though not necessarily famous) in the scientific and/or mathematical and/or philosophical and/or some other community if you wished. Seeing as how you love video games so much you could easily be an excellent video-game designer – but I digress. I do wonder though, what test(s) did you do to determine your IQ, what SD scale(s) did the test(s) have, and where did you take the test(s) – I would like to take a guess at your IQ and I would certainly be interested in taking the test(s) as well.
I’m also well aware that a lot of terrible pseudo-science is being done by those who care more about money or politics than actual scientific advancement or the truth, and I’m also aware than (almost) all scientific studies are fallible to some extent, but there is also plenty of legitimate science being performed out there – a lot of it simply isn’t in the public radar.
Finally, it’s also remarkable that you can claim to know how intelligent I am based on so little information, and it seems you’re just retaliating based on the tone of my preceding 2 posts. Therefore might I suggest we both drop the insults and continue the discussion appropriately?
@ Mohamed – Definitely not alone. 🙂
@ David – I appreciate your input, but regardless it’s not constructive at this time. I wish you the best.
@ AK – Always up for a good debate hey 😛
@ Vince – Thanks for commenting! I’m so happy to hear you’ve been able to make positive changes. You’ll be thankful you did as your life continues to improve and you look back years from now on your decision. 🙂
@ Jake – Thanks for commenting! The first step to recovery starts with awareness. You’ve realized it now that you NEED to change, because the pain of not changing exceeds the pain of changing. This is a BIG step for you, give yourself credit for coming to this conclusion. Remember, you don’t need to feel regret about the time you spent gaming, and instead just view your decision to stop playing games as the conclusion of one chapter of your life, and now you’re moving into the next one, without games. Good luck, you can do it!
@ S – Thanks for commenting! I’ll have to check out that website. In preparation to write my book on video game addiction, I’ve also been compiling a lot of research on the subject. It’s fascinating as I dive deeper into things how important it is for us to get a handle on things.
@ Fossa – Thank you for the update! I’m very happy to hear you’ve managed to take your decision to quit playing seriously! Part of the improvements you will notice as from the NEW decisions you make, and these decisions take time to see growth in because you’re still very new to your “no gaming” lifestyle. Keep going, you’ll be glad you did.
@ Brandon – Thanks for adding your input. Remember the article is for those who want to quit but seem unable to do so. There’s many people who play games in a balanced way (such as yourself) and although I still do prefer other activities over games, if they are within moderation they aren’t necessarily the worst thing in the world. 😛
Cam, I stumbled upon your article while doing some research for a class I teach. I think that your perspective is very interesting and that it is excellent that you recognize the impact that gaming has had on your life. Not many people are willing to admit to the addictive nature of this kind of gaming. I noticed that many of the posts have come from young men in their teens and twenties. I would like to add another perspective to what has been posted. For over a decade I have considered myself to be a video game widow. My husband (from whom I am finally separated) is completely addicted to video games. He is an amazing person with many talents and exceptional qualities, but he is addicted to video games – among other things. His relentless pursuit of gaming and his inability to see how playing video games 12-16 hours a day was destroying his career and family, finally led to the demise of his marriage and family. Day after day he would dismiss his children (now 6 and 8) when they would ask him to play with them, and they had no choice but to be interested in his video games because they really couldn’t interact with him otherwise. He would be on the computer when they came home from school, would not stop to be with them. He would leave the dinner table as soon as he finished eating (he didn’t really even want to sit with us but I insisted on it) and be back on his computer. He would not put his kids to bed or read bed time stories to them. After years of this struggle I finally kicked him out of my house and my life. No woman wants to support a loser husband who has no job and would rather play video games than spend time with his family. It makes me incredibly sad to see a beautiful person so consumed by an addiction choose it over his own family. So to you teens and young men out there: be aware, your very life could be at stake. Listen to Cam. There is an amazing life out there for you to have, to grow and become an amazing human being. Sitting in front of a computer 12+ hours a day and convincing yourself that you are doing something worthwhile is bullshit. One day you’ll wake up and 20 years will have gone by and you’ll wonder what the hell happened.
I don’t think I really have a problem with playing games too much. If I hadn’t gotten a full-time job 3 months ago, I may have developed one though. I’ve always played games a lot, but I’ve never really had a problem putting them on the back burner when something more interesting came along. When I was unemployed for a really long time, I started playing League of Legends when a friend recommended it to me. I definitely started onto the path you once took. I got decent at the game(its pretty difficult, steep learning curve), looked up guides, gameplay videos, etc. I played it pretty much everyday and I tried to get my friends interested. However, once I started working fulltime, I didn’t have time for it anymore. I still play a match or two every once in a while, but at this point I have little interest in the game(mostly because of the massive amount of assholes and dumbasses in the community).
Aside from my little personal story there, I want to tell you that your article inspired me. While I doubt I have a problem with playing too many video games, I do have other problems which I am not dealing with properly or at all in some cases. What really helped is that you didn’t condemn people who play video games or demonize video games themselves. Games are fun, but they aren’t for everyone. Everything you said made so much sense to me, but at the same time I felt that this wasn’t the article I should really be reading.
So thanks for the inspiration! I’m gonna go read about killing my social awkwardness.
@ Kunayagirl – Thanks for commenting! Also thank you for posting your story… I think it’s an important aspect of the addiction to share… especially as throughout the comments there have been other people who are struggling with their marriage because of the addiction.
@ David – Thanks for commenting! I’m super happy to hear you found inspiration in the article, and that you’ve managed to keep the addiction at bay. If you have any questions about social awkwardness, email me. 🙂
Hi cam, i am a very big offender, and i too want to give up video games.I Think the biggest reason, is because they are children’s toys, and its time to move on to do things with my life.I am a terrible offender still, and i am also an offender of being on internet a lot.
I have actually stayed up 24 hours playing 1 videogame, and over 48 hours up until sunday in the past playing everquest.Sometimes i actually stayed up till 1 or 2 am.
I stopped doing that though.
I was thinking i could just sell them, and get rid of all my game copies, and then do something else, but i am also in a tough situation where i am also in an awkward social situation.I think i am at least a good part responsible of isolating myself from my friends, and far too distracted.
@ Some guy – Thanks for commenting! Don’t worry too much about your social skills… just recognize where you are at and identify a few SIMPLE things you can work on improving. There’s many articles on this site that can help you with your social awkwardness too… but I want you to know first: YOU’RE NOT ALONE! There’s many other people who have trouble in this area too, so don’t feel bad about it… just work on improving it. Let me know if I can help 🙂
u could also watch anime helps ya
Thank you for your article. It opened my eyes.
I grew up playing video games. However, I haven’t play video games in 3 years… it is due to lack of money. That, and I traveled for 2 years. So, naturally I didn’t bring my video games with me. However, it does not stop me from reading up information on video games, or reading fan fiction on video games, or trying to figure out the story line to video games. I would watch cut scenes or walkthroughs on youtube. When I wake up in the morning, check my email and then find out the latest info on video games. When I get home from work, I relaxed all night by looking up the latest news on video games. I guess I do this because I want to play them, but because I can barely afford food and rent, I don’t spend money on the latest games. I wonder if it is because I just the love the world of video games. For example, I love the story of Final Fantasy 13 and 13-2. I love the characters and the story, even though I never played the game.
Honestly…it drives me nuts. I just graduated, and I am trying to start a business, work a shitty job I hate, volunteer at a job I love (but don’t get paid), give lectures once a week to large groups of people (so I need to get at least 6 hours of practice time a week to present my topics), as well try to make time for the guitar, exercise, eating healthy, and other projects on the go. I live a pretty hectic and busy life. Sometimes though…most of the time now a days…the only thing that gets accomplish is working at my shitty job (and part time volunteer work / lectures ) and reading information on video games i will never play.
“Why do I do this to my self?” I ask as it hits 3 am and I have to wake up at 7am to work. Fuck my life. I am depress and its probably largely due because of this video game addiction I have in me. I was hoping it will get better, but its getting worse. I want to quit so bad. Although I find it difficult. I can’t get to a regular sleeping routine because of them. I ask my self every day, “how much longer must i endure this fucking job? When can I start living my dream job? When can I have time to focus more on my hobbies? How much longer before I go insane?!”
After reading your article, I am glad to know that I am not the only one. I guess it is important to incorporate those 4 things…
A temporary escape
Constant measurable growth
A challenge
Social
I think I have all 4 of these in my life already – well… except maybe the social part. I find it hard though, especially when the first 3 things you suggested feels like work…I like the guitar and all, but I don’t feel particularly relax when play it. Sometimes it is stressful. Same thing with exercising, or practicing the speech for my next topic I will present every week. Maybe I need to find something else? Maybe I should take up reading fantasy novels instead of reading video game based info to relax?
I want to be happy, and video games seriously get in the way for that. I know what I must do… Quit.
By the tri-force, help me…
Damn your article so cool dude!
I’m still 20YO but I’ve been playing video game for 15 years, (I was run away from life, since I have no friend when my school moved) I dunno how much hours I spent, but I very understand what u did. I just good at fighting games, and DOTA but I barely can’t be helped to play “Good storyline game”, like elder scrolls, dragonage, or JRPG. @__@
All the things I can do now, I start study at college far away from my home, and leave my xbox360 at my home. I started self study to socialize, bussiness, find hobby, like drawing manga or exercising, martial art, inline skate.
Afterall, I just delete everygame in my hardisk, so if I had finished the game I bought,
I have no game left to be played anymore. (‾▿‾)
And I swear to myself, I will not buy unnecessary game.
Hey, Cam!
Your article is amazing! thank you, it really helped. All you wrote is true, in example: ”The social aspect of these games is what really draws you in. That’s why playing a non-multiplayer game is fun, but only for a limited time.” Now I started to draw instead of playing. When I was playing, I knew I was drawing good but I didn’t pay attention to that. Now I’m ready to improve my skills and maybe some day i’ll be famous ^_^ THANK YOU!
P.S. sorry for bad english, and I hope u understood what I was trying to say ^_^
I have an addiction to Minecraft, but my problem is not the game itself, it’s the people who play it. I play on multiplayer servers a lot, but it’s because the people there are fun and interesting, and I end up creating tons of friends, not because I just want to play the game (Although I do also play it to have fun). I feel like it is really hard to chop these bonds that I have made with these people, and forget about them forever, because I don’t want to and it’s just like shunning a friend.
I play Minecraft for a “Second life” where I can do anything, and also have other people to live among. This article is VERY helpful, but before I can become motivated enough to quit, I need to figure out what to do with these people I have come to love.
Thanks,
Spiog.
I am married and my husband is a gamer. I noticed that I started to become addicted to games myself. I don’t play as much as him but I have decided not to play video games at all. I want to show him that is possible to lead a happy life without gaming during our off time.
He loves his games and does not see it as a problem. I gave up fighting him playing the games in his free time. When he plays his games (which is often) I just do other things and try and better myself. Knowledge is power and the more educated I am in life will bode well for the future. We don’t have kids- If we have kids the games gotta go…
Hi my names Josh, I have an issue with this also, I am only 13 and play halo 1 all day for my free time on the PC, I don’t own a console, only a laptop. Recently my charger shorted out and my laptop died so now I can’t play halo for another week, after seeing my friends be so addicted to modern warfare 3 it sickened me to see how they wouldn’t even respond to me when I say their name because they are so addicted. I want to change and serve in the army. I love camping and hunting but I go with my dad and he is always busy with work. Many of these suggestions like learning music I cannot do from lack of money in the family. I also work out but I don’t get around to it as much.
I have 2 friends who love the same things I do and don’t play video games but I can’t see them very much. I want to do things In the mountains because I live next to them but with school and things its hard. I really want to break the habit before my new charger comes, but I don’t know what to do.
@ Ryu – Anime could help yep!
@ Don – Thanks for commenting! I’m excited to hear you’re starting a business. I’d be happy to help you with any advice you need if you want! You’re definitely not alone. I also recommend focusing on trying to schedule your day, which helped me focus on the tasks I needed to get done, without feeling so overwhelmed! http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/ I also think it’s important for you to work on your mindset towards these things. Guitar could be a lot of fun, but not if you see it as work. So try and find what you enjoy about guitar and focus on that instead, as an example. For me, I didn’t like to run until last year when I started focusing on the stress relief/meditation side of running, which allowed me to enjoy it much more!
@ Moch – Thanks for commenting! You sound like you’re totally on the right track. Good job! Becoming independent and being self-motivated are very good qualities to have. Keep it up!
@ Greta – Thanks for commenting! Your english is great, good job!
@ Spiog – Thanks for commenting! It’s definitely a problem I have had as well. What i found, and I mentioned this in the comments recently is that while I was playing I had developed these great friendships, but once I stopped playing I ended up making new friends with other people. Do I miss my friends online? Kind of, but I’ve also found the friendships were different than ones I have now too. It’s not that the friendships online were bad (cause they weren’t), just different. I really recommend trying to make friends in person.
@ Ann – Thanks for commenting! I love your quote: “Knowledge is power and the more educated I am in life will bode well for the future.” It’s very true! I like your approach of focusing on yourself and leading by example.
@ Josh – Thanks for commenting, and extra points for being 13! It’s crazy to see how assertive you are at a young age. Keep that up, it will take you far! What other hobbies do you like? Are there things you’re interested in that I could help you be creative with? What is it about the army/camping you enjoy?
Hey
Thank you cam for this article it was really inspiring and has opened my eyes to the life i have chose and the changes i want to make. I am 25 years and i do not have great social skills at all and I am insecure and wish I had this wake call sooner but really thanks to a great wife who has made me realize this and one of the reasons why i got online and i found this article. I do plan on taking my console and selling it all. I have a family that i am blessed with and I want to make my self sociable this aspect i have been wanting to do but never really seen that games were holding me back now i do and i want to change. i do love to write i have not done in a while but i am not sure if u can do this social or not
There is one activity that fills all those gaps that you mentioned and that is: playing a musical instrument (with friends or in a band). After I let go of games many years ago, I noticed it was starting to come back (the desire to play WoW) so I started playing guitar, and now I’m addicted to creating music :). For all of you music lovers out there, get an instrument! It’s totally worth it and everyone can do it!!!
@ Dean – Thanks for commenting! The first step to change is awareness, now you have that so go after it!
@ Howard – I’m pumped you are taking up your love for guitar again. Remember to focus on why you love it, so even during times when you don’t really want to play you can remind yourself why you care about it! 🙂
I gave up video games for my new years resolution this year.
So far, it’s been good, almost 3 months. I guess I relapsed a few days ago. I started playing minesweeper for my first time. And then I played it for five hours straight. I uninstalled it right afterwards. Today, I had those cravings again to kill some pixels, cravings I haven’t really had since the new year. My new year’s resolution was to not play video games for a whole year, but I think this article has inspired me to drop video games forever. Except for the games I make, because I make video games for a living.
I played WoW every time I had some free time and quit it a year ago. I thought that it was WoW I was addicted to, but later on, I realised that I still play other games. At the beginning of this year (2013), I uninstalled all of my games and stopped playing. The biggest problem, however, was to find something to fill my time up with. I found myself with a plenty of leisure time so I started to read books and learn programming languages. I also made an “Achievement chart” just like in WoW where I write the things I want to achieve and look on my progress (I also made an achievement of not playing any games) Despite all of this, I still have the urge to play, I even dream about playing, but I think I can come through these things and make my life whole again 🙂
[…] How to quit playing videogames forever by KingPin Lifestyle- The owner and I are now good friends online. This is his most popular post ever. […]
Taking the time to read your blog post has really made me thinking about changing my lifestyle. My situation is this: I’m not really a heavy gamer, but if I find the kind of game that I like, there’s no way for me to stop playing it. In the past, one of my biggest hobby is reading (it’s still is beside gaming). Once I pick up a good book – about anything that is interesting, I make sure I read it till the end. It’s also the same for computer games.
I casually play Dota 2 with my friends, around 5 – 10 matches every week; but I also play RPG games that are heavy in story telling. Once I find a game that has a great story telling and a good gameplay resolves around it, I play non-stop. I can finish a 100 hours worth of game play in 1 week. That has been going on for around 2 years now, when I get to live on my own and not get restricted from my parents. The thing is I don’t play game competitively like you everyday, but when there’s a game that is good in my standard, I can’t stop myself. My mind keep thinking about the story and I have that incredible temptation to finish the storyline. This is the same with my reading passion, once I get a good book, I read it nonstop.
My lifestyle has been affected a lot by computer games. The music I listen to are mostly from computer games, even part of my personality is based on all the stories that I have experienced. So should I also get rid of all the things that are related to computer games to get my 100% commitment. I find it so hard to quit because it’s like a part of my life actually. Advices would be very appreciated 🙂
One of your tip also point at socializing to take up the time used for gaming. The thing is, I am living very far away from the uni that I attend to, and I find it hard to hang out with my friends who also live far away from me. I also have a long distance relationship going on right now (Australia – Canada) so I also have to committed lots of time on Skype with my gf and that usually leads to me staying at home and not socializing. I think it’s time to actually quit computer games for now but I can’t really apply all of your tips on my situation. Can you also give me some advices on this situation?
@ Michael – Thanks for commenting! You’re already past the hardest part so now it’s just a matter of continuing to focus on why you don’t want to play, and remember, those cravings will continue to pop in and out, so don’t lose your focus!
@ Viktor – Thanks for commenting! The urge won’t go away for awhile, but the longer you stay off the games, the less frequent the urge is. Don’t worry about it too much 🙂
@ Josh – Thanks for commenting… I’m glad the article inspired you to take a look at your lifestyle. I think in your situation it’s being creative to find a solution that will work. If your friends live far away, one of the obvious solutions would be trying to find friends that are nearby, not to replace your old friends but just to make more. Try to find activities around your area. As an example, I tend to move every 6 months to a new place, so I always have to make new friends… so I try and go to yoga classes, etc nearby so I can meet other people in my area. I also hang out in coffee shops and other places that are in my area so I can meet friends. I think the best solution is to try and find some activities you could do around your area that aren’t online.
I sincerely thank you for taking the time to write about your personal experience. It is very clear just by the number of comments, that you have inspired and convinced a huge amount of people to change. I really hope you realise the importance of what you did by writing this article. More people should have the generosity and the courage to share their story like you. Cordially, a random dude from Quebec.
i feel like i;m going off games an all because they care more about the graphics than they do about the story.I’m 23 next week and i’m not buying the ps4 because in the past 4 years i’ve only enjoyed 1 game.My parents bought me the new Tomb Raider for my birthday after i’ve completed that i wont be playing games anymore.
why would you give up videogames, its ironic i found this article when i was looking up a game. did you guys read the article on how videogames increases your hand-eye coordination. Fuck yeah science
@ Michael – Thanks for commenting! I appreciate your kind words. I have been completely blown away at the response of the article, and really do intend to get more out on the subject soon with a book. Hopefully I stop procrastinating on writing it soon!
@ Michael – Stick to that promise to yourself! Enjoy the heck out of the game and then move on. That’s what I did. I let myself play guilt free for a set time and then I moved on forever, and I’m glad I did.
@ Bret – Thanks for commenting and adding your input. I have seen those studies but in my opinion, although video games DO improve certain qualities, traits and skills, it’s my opinion that the high risk of addiction outweighs the potential positive impact of games. You can develop hand eye coordination in other ways that don’t have the potential to harm you as much as games do. Just my take on it though!
Your addiction and the games u played, exact replica of my life. I try to quitting, but I kept switching games so that I get my addiction away from a particular game. Eventually I had tons of mmos n I kept playing them one after another, infact cheating myself. I work 5 days a week but am more busy on weekends I.e gaming. After these many yrs, I realised its not gaming that attracted me but its the story that kept me going, pvp was huge satisfaction pawning other people and then I get to know the other opponents r less then half my age. I hope I stop my gaming habits soon.
I just wanted to say that after reading this article and the comments below. I stopped playing starcraft 2. This article was me. I haven’t played the game in 8 months, and no intention to.
I didn’t quit 100%, but I knew the type of games that could “draw” me in.
You gave me my life back. My wife and children thank you.
What are your thoughts on playing Scrabble online. I was introduced to playing scrabble with my friend and her daughter’s birthday party and it was fun. then i got on the internet and played it- it is productive in building vocabulary. and exercises the mind.
In fact it made me feel that games like FIFA13 when i was playing it in a Gameshop was boring as heck! boring because FIFA doesn’t exercise the mind as Scrabble does! 😀
The scrabble online game i play is actually called “JUST WORDS” at GAMES.COM
Hey cam thanks for the good article. I used to miss school and spend all day playing video games. Since I’ve had some money I bought Halo 4.It began getting in the way of my relationship with my girlfriend. Today was my first day quitting. It feels good knowing how much money I will save, including graphics cards for the computer. I really appreciate the article. I remember being so addicted to trying to get to level 50 in halo 3. I’m done and getting a dog to take care of. Congrats on your 3 years clean from gaming!
@ Abhed Patil – Thanks for commenting! Commit to finding new activities that fulfill the same areas and you will be able to get off games in no time!
@ Jason – Thanks for commenting! I’m very thankful I was able to help you. 🙂
@ PTT – Nice to hear from you! Scrabble online could be ok, in moderation of course! I don’t think playing Scrabble online is necessarily bad or anything, especially because it has an educational component. I think it’s just also important to keep yourself accountable. A game of scrabble here and there is cool, but if you find yourself using scrabble online as an excuse to avoid going out and meeting new people, then it’s really no better than other games.
@ Ben – You’re welcome! Thanks for commenting. If you focus on taking positive proactive action towards your real goals, video games will become a distant memory!
@CAM- thanks for the advice.
yes it reminds me of the issue that balance is always required but with mobile gaming becoming popular these days, its important to control oneself even more.
though playing scrabble while waiting for the bus or something is prob good if it is used effectively and allows you to lead, a productive and socialable life etc.
I am now also doing salsa dancing and meeting more people…its really good. i highly recommend as a way to many different people.
What you’re asking for is really a sea change that is very difficult to pull off…. Video games aren’t the real problem for me, they’re just the latest manifestation of whatever demon’s chasing me. In the past it’s been anime, porn, music, dancing, even (weirdly enough) linux.
I know I need to change but it it is oh so scary. So much easier to just sit here and find new ways to occupy myself/new excuses for why I can’t get what I want.
Sigh.
I’ve made the decision to quit gaming too, and with it my addiction to smoking and energy drinks. I’ve became too deep into this mess. I was a programmer, a logical person, who loved science. My life just went into chaos with this game League of Legends. I’m going to quit them, live a peaceful life, explore my passions once again, gain back the knowledge that is buried in myself and deepen it. This article made me see that I’m not alone with this problem. I’ll fight, and I’ll win.
Cheers, Adam.
@ PTT – you’re welcome! I’m very happy to hear you’re doing well. I do agree that mobile gaming CAN be ok in limited contexts, but also very easy to abuse as well.
@ Turningman – Thanks for commenting! Change can be very difficult, and how difficult specific areas of change are will be completely relative to each individual person. Focus on looking into those demons, do some real introspection and emotional work. You’ll be glad you did!
@ Adam Tajti – Thanks for commenting! Focus on your passions! Programming and science are awesome interests to have. They don’t HAVE to be found through gaming. You will win, you can do it. 🙂
Great article, really is helping me decide to quit games. I’ve been thinking about it for a couple months now but the problem is that whenever I read something, all it said was to slowly stop playing, and to spend more time on school, like you said, which isn’t fun.
So I’m 15 and I’ve been playing games since I was around 8 or 9 when a friend introduced me to Runescape. Ever since then I’ve slowly progressed in how much I play; back then, I would play only around half an hour to an hour each day of the weekend. Then, I got a playstation 2 when I was around 10. When that happened, I started to play more, like around 2 hours on the weekend and half an hour or an hour on the school days. It got even worse when I turned 12 and got an xbox, getting new games like halo, oblivion, and call of duty, which were all about levelling up, having infinite replayability, etc. This caused me to start playing around 1.5 hours during the week and 3 hours a weekend Now, I have a new laptop which I play constantly; depending on the weekend, I can play around 5-8 hours a day, and during the week 2-3.
I’ve recently actually started to pay attention to how much this effects me. I used to be one of the top students in my class; I had almost all A’s, I studied a lot, and enjoyed school. Now, I hate school, I barely spend any time on my homework so I can play more, and I barely spend any time on my saxophone. It seems like video games just drown out everything I used to like. Also, I’ve noticed it makes me lose friends. I used to have a lot of close friends who I hung out with a lot, but now I never hang out with anyone and I only have “school friends” who don’t hang out with me when I ask them and never invite me anywhere.
Now I just need help deciding what to do in my free time; I’ve deleted my steam account, unplugged my xbox, but I know that if I get bored I’ll just install it and go on some gaming website in my free time. I love to read but I can’t just go and get a new book every week, and it’s too cold to play any sports.
Can you give me any advice?
@ Niles – Thanks for commenting! I’m glad you found value in the article. It’s incredible that as a 15 year old you have the level of awareness you do about your experience playing. The first thing you remember is: before you can change, first you must recognize what needs to change. Awareness is the first key! What other interests do you have? Have you ever considered creating a bucket list? That’s one place you can start. I would also read through the comments to look for suggestions by other people. Learning a new language or an instrument are two that seem to help a lot of guys!
I have a sister who plays video games quite regularly. She is 33 years old and is a lab technician at Boston University. At the moment she’s working on DNA sequencing and a cure for hepatitis. She has her masters and has attended both Rutgers University and Harvard. And she’s a gamer.
I get so conflicted sometimes. Can you play video games and still lead a productive life? Is it fine to play an hour a day, or what about just playing on the weekends? Is that reasonable? I believe that my sister does the majority of her video gaming on the weekend. Maybe I should ask her.
This article is very inspiring, though I’m not sure where to go with it. Recently I’ve started to notice my gaming habits were overcoming the rest of my priorities, even going as far as to send my girlfriend off so that i could play more. what really slapped me in the face was her leaving, and how i had let that great life i could have had slip away to gaming. so recently I’ve been trying to kick the addiction, but this has proven a challenge. one of my main passions is doing digital art, using programs like Photoshop, so i literally stare my addiction in the face all day and try not to dive into it. I’ve been slipping a little lately but i want to change that, but I’ve realized I’m missing what you’ve stated above, A temporary escape, Constant measurable growth, A challenge, and Social. I’ve been trying to go to the gym and trying to do other things, but I’m not really sure what kinds of things I can do, because I don’t know what i like to do in the first place. hell I’m not even sure what kind of career path i want to go down yet. I’m open for any and all suggestions here guys and I’m willing to try *just* about anything
@ Ben – Thanks for commenting. I definitely think you CAN play video games and lead a productive life… but sometimes you need to cut away from video games for an extended period of time before you can get back into it. That’s my main point. It’s very hard to go from being totally addicted and having video games control your life to playing them and leading a productive life.
Video games aren’t the problem, they are the excuse. The reason you aren’t leading a productive life is because of the choices you’re making, not the video games. The games are just a super easy way to continue leading the current life you have, instead of making the changes you know and want to make. Focus on those changes first and video games later.
@ Alex – Thanks for commenting. I’m glad you found the article inspiring. That means a lot to me. Don’t worry too much about not knowing what else you like. There’s a reason why this has happened, and until know, it wasn’t even your fault. You were basically living on autopilot when it came to how you had fun. But now that you have awareness you need to make different decisions, and that’s what I hope to help you with. The best next step is to think about a bucket list of items you’ve always wanted to accomplish. Write down a list of goals, no matter how ridiculous – big or small. The only purpose of this is to give you SOME (even if it’s small) sense of direction towards what you have an interest in. Another way to find this out is to go to a bookstore and notice what subjects capture your attention. Ok, another thing to do is to read through the comments here and find ideas, because there’s many other people just like you who have struggled with this, so suggestions like taking up an instrument or learning a new language are a few to consider.
I recently decided to quit gaming cold turkey, i always wanted to become a greater version of myself but found gaming was getting in the way,i am glad i found this article
I’m just posting to appreciate the article you have spent a lot of time working on.
I used to play Diablo and many other games earlier but now i’m addicted to this game called dota and dota 2 and i play around 100 hours a week improving my gameplay and clan matches and stuff.Presently i’m one of the best players in my city but i’m improving really fast and soon I could be playing for one of the best clans in the world , but what i didn’t realize till now was that I’m spending over 15 hours a day just on something because of which my dates left me (mostly because if they call me up during a game then no matter who it is without seeing the caller i just abuse and tell them “never call me again” and block the number .
I don’t know why am i wasting time and money on this worthless game but i just cant quit it , i mean i take resolutions but the moment someone calls me or there is a clan match i just forget everything and go to play . My parents are also fedup of this habit and I mostly socialize with people who are my fans or my group of people from different cafes.
I’m trying to get my life back on track but i have no idea man if this is gonna workout or just another wasted attempt. Even if i quit i’m far too worried about facing my friends and i’m sort of least bothered about dating a girl although i used to flirt a lot when i was in school (2years back) but now i’m afraid that i might just insult them so i rather avoid people and then after a few day i end up again playing Dota .
If it helps me i will surely post next week or else im planing to throw my laptop in the bin and completely avoid touching any devices with games for the next month.
@ Kevin – Thanks for commenting. I’m glad you did too. Good luck on your journey!
@ IDuckWeed – Thanks for commenting. It means a lot to me that people feel the need to comment and tell me they found value in the article. I definitely relate to the feeling of “is this really it or is this just another failed attempt?”… and the only real answer I can give you is that the moment you decide the answer to that question is the moment you “get” the answer, you know what I mean? It’s a decision. Quitting video games isn’t going to happen by fate. You can do it. If you’re concerned about being bored, or having lackluster social skills, or what your friends will think… these are merely part of your commitment to quitting. Before quitting you KNOW you will have these obstacles in your way, so how can you prepare a strategy and execute it to deal with them? How can you improve your social skills? When you are feeling bored, what activities can you do instead? When your friends ask why you stopped or pressure you to play, what will you say?
YOU are also the person that gets to decides the answer to these questions. Just like quitting. The answer to the question isn’t just going to come out of thin air. Knowing the question is good, that awareness is important, but now it’s time to answer it. It’s time for you to take that proactive approach to your life, where you put constructive thought into moving towards what life YOU want. When you decide to take that level of personal responsibility to your situation, and stop waiting for it to magically happen, you will be that much closer to being there.
Hi Cam, that was a really nice post. The best one on internet I would say xD. I’m not that addictive, but I play on Friday, Saturday and Sunday a lot. Like others, I tend to put things off for video games. I’ve just uninstalled Battlefield 3 and deleted all my games, this is the second time I try and I hope that reading your article it will be the last one.
I just wanted to say thanks 😉 . I have to work also on my social skills and what I would love is to get a girlfriend, I have been playing video games for a long time and my skills in that area are very poor. I’m going to take a look at this web site, looks interesting 🙂
You can definitely see your skills in the work you
write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers like
you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. At all times follow your heart.
Wow I can’t believe it’s been almost 1 year since I last visited this article.
Dear Cam, i don’t know if you remember me but I commented on this article few times last year, and you definetely helped me quit gaming for a good 4-5 months, but then depression and lonelyness caught up on me. I got back in to gaming because i wanted to get my mind off things ( i have no girlfriend, very few friends and i dont hang out with them much now because they are potheads). I went to various parties and clubbing every weekend, got drunk and had a good time with friends.
I got addicted to gaming again and failed my exams, dissapointed my parents, while I didn’t believe that my failure in exams was because of gaming …my parents think it is and i agree with them now. I did not work hard enough, there were days where i had absoloutly NOTHING to do..so i stayed at home, watched movies and played games. When i call up friends they are busy or they just dont want to hang out with me (and yea who the hell wants to hang out with a boring ugly person like myself..)
I have quit gaming again this year and currently on 1 week no games, i hope to continue but when i realize i am awkward and ugly irl theres not much i can hope to do. 🙁 but i will keep trying
CAM, I have quit once and for all, thanks a lot 🙂 However I can not get rid of the emails being sent, so can someone tell me how I can stop kingpin sending me emails? thanks :]
@Anothergamer
“and yea who the hell wants to hang out with a boring ugly person like myself..(…) when i realize i am awkward and ugly irl theres not much i can hope to do”
Right here, probably the worst thing you can do to yourself. I myself could use a bit more confidence and better self-esteem, but this is just too much. This kind of mindset WILL destroy you.
Learn to think positively. What happened to “I have received compliments on my looks and I’d consider myself to be a decent looking guy” from your previous post? I haven’t had a gf till I was 22, but the one I got was worth waiting for, it all works out in the end, just keep on trying.
To quote Murakami: “Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that.”
(meaning as long as you’re busy feeling sorry for yourself, you will be giving up and you won’t try to change your situation)
@ Arturo – Thanks for commenting and for the compliments! There’s a ton of articles on this site to help you get a girlfriend and improve your social skills, so make sure you check them out and subscribe!
@ Warrior – Thanks for the compliments. 🙂
@ Anothergamer – Welcome back! It’s too bad you aren’t coming back on better terms but don’t worry about it or feel bad! Sometimes you just need to get everything out of your system, maybe this is one of those cases. Remember why you failed last time so you can learn from it and not make the same mistakes twice. You need to find a new outlet for the social side of things. If you don’t work on that, by finding new hobbies, etc, you will end up in that same lonely place as last time that pushed you back into games. You can do it!
@ Vlad – Hey Vlad, thanks for commenting! I’m super happy for you. At the bottom of this page (below the comment box), there should be something saying “change subscription options”. Try that.
@ A_better_man – Thanks for commenting and helping others out. I totally agree with what you’ve said.
Hi.
This website was inspiring and I have stopped playing video games full stop. The only problem is I can’t figure out what to do when it is has gone dark (can’t go outside) and I am bored. I have read some earlier comments which suggest learning an instrument (I played double bass for a while after which I realised I didn’t enjoy it) and I already am learning two languages. Can you give me any suggestions? (btw I am only 15)
Thanks.
@ Grue – Thanks for commenting! I’m really happy you found the website inspiring. This is a bit of a tough problem, but one you can certainly fix. What don’t you like about bass? Is there another instrument you’d prefer? Or maybe it’s a lack of challenge? Do you record any of your stuff? Have you considered joining a band of some sort? Or getting into music production maybe? I would certainly look into music production.
Hey Cam! 😀
Just wanted to say hi. I think you remember me I also had Lobster as my nickname back then.
So, I haven’t played any video games for a year and 1 month already 🙂
And wanted to give a tip to everyone who is trying to quit: it always seems like you will just have nothing to do in your free time when you quit. Trust me, it only seems like this, you will always find some stuff to do. It will take some time, but you totally will. Good luck to everyone)
And once again thanks, Cam 🙂
@ Bogdan – Thanks for commenting! That’s awesome that you’ve been game-free for over a year! Incredible accomplishment. Very happy for you. Proud of you man 🙂
I haven’t played any games for a year and one month. Anyone, who is trying to quit, feel free to ask me questions. 🙂
Hey Cam I have try to quit League of Legends for many times, once I had successfully quit gaming for a month but then i start got back to it. I can not find anything else more interesting than League of Legends except girls, which I don’t have much close connection right now. I know this game is eating my life, but deep down I still have a dream to become a pro- gamer and im a very ambitious competitive person it is hard to find anything else that is competitive as this. There are just so many elements impact this situation, could you give me some advise? and btw i have hard self-control, it is prob because im a very “liberal” no harsh rule person.
Umm… I want to ask something to you (might be a little off from topic)
You said games are temporary escapes,but doesn’t temporary escapes includes watching tv and reading fictional books?
I’m just confused with myself what to do. To really quit the temporary escape or just limiting the time.
It’s just,what if I was reading books because it was a fun for me?What if watch tv because it has sitcom that can make me laugh loudly?
In the other hand,there are tons of things I want to achieve in my life.
So,do you think I should really just focus on my target, or is it okay if I do some temporary escapes sometimes?
Thx for answering my questions,before though 🙂
@ Bogdan – That’s so awesome man!
@ Simba – Thanks for commenting. Read a few of my latest comments where I talk about how to ensure you don’t relapse this time. One thing about video games is that they numb us to real life experience, so when we go do other activities we don’t really find them very fun. Video games are overstimulating, when real life isn’t like that. So at first when you stop you’ll have a bit of trouble feeling bored, but you just have to give yourself some time to re-calibrate.
@ Gee – Thanks for commenting! If you look at the pillars, it’s not about them being “bad”. These are natural things we want to do. We want to be social. We want to have temporary escape. We want to see progress and measurable growth. We want challenge. It’s not that these are bad, they’re good! These aren’t the aspects of video games that are bad… they’re just the aspects that cause you to be very addicted to it. Fulfilling all of these areas through video games can be a negative thing in your life. What I try and explain in the article is that if you want to quit games, you should try to find other activities that fulfill those pillars. So one of them is temporary escape. If you find that in books, great! TV? That’s ok too (in moderation). I read every day for up to 2 hours and love it. I learn a lot and it keeps my mind sharp. It’s also relaxing and a nice break for me. It’s also PRODUCTIVE. It helps me move forward. But if I was reading 15 hours a day and not doing anything else, it would be a problem. 🙂
Excellent article!
I used to be extremely addicted to single player videogames. Ive been playing videogames sense i was 4 years old. Ever sense i can remember video games have been the only thing i ever wanted to do. It was really bad i didnt want to talk to anybody even my family. i always did good in school so that my parents didnt have an excuse to stop me from playing games.
At some point my perspective on life changed. i think it was right before i went to highschool. it was when i first got an xbox360 and played online for the first time. i was absolutely blown away. i stayed up 6 days straight playing ghost reacon advanced warfighter multiplayer demo. and then i made some xbox live friends. now i didnt have internet so i spent an entire month playing graw 2 at my cousins house. then school started and i couldnt play online anymore. i was devasted those xbox live friends meant more to me then anything.
back at home i only had single player games and i just could not play as much as i used to. the only game i played was guitar hero. guitar hero introduced me to my love of music. so in highschool i took guitar classes and later weight training. i also made alot of friends. i began to see the world differently it wasnt just about games anymore. even though i still played guitar hero ALOT and played halo 3 with my newly found friends i was still extremely aware how the value i set on gaming had gone down. from that point on i began doing activites with my family and friends that werent gaming i actively reflect on my life so i realized just how much i changed. then we got internet and i remembered how fun it was to play online but when i tried playing it it was no where near as fun.
my friends also got me into anime. whether or not this is a better hobby this drastically reduced my time for gaming it was almost like there wasnt enough time for games with ap classes and guitar and anime. i would also like to mention that anime got me into reading manga and eventually novels.
im now 18 and i graduated highschool. my current situation is this. i play games casually(well atleast compared to before) about 3-6 hours a day and 4 hours out of those 6 hours is me playing pro guitar on rock band 3 which i dont even consider gaming i consider it playing guitar. the rest of my time is spent heavily on anime manga and related novels
do you think i need to quit gaming? if it was when i was younger then id think so but now its just really casual. also although reading is widely considered good i beleive im actually extremely addicted to that now should i stop reading as much or is it a good thing im addicted to reading???
@ Anthony Vasquez – Thanks for commenting! Anything (reading included) that overwhelms your life and causes you to live out of balance is something you need to look at. As an example, playing video games for 3-6 hours a day is excessive, and will severely limit your ability to develop in other areas of your life. Let me ask you this: what are your long-term goals? What are you working towards right now?
Um Cam, well I quit games for a while after reading your article. Maybe you remember me? I posted earlier. Anyway, I quit and was doing really good in school (87% average)
and hen the unthinkable happened. I gave in to my addiction and ended up failing my Chemisty UNIT test. so now im back to a 62% IKR? My parents were so proud…now what?…..
Fuck you Star wars the old republic, fuck you League of Legends fuck you DC Universe Online………..Fuck you
@ Mohamed – Welcome back! Don’t feel too guilty about going back to games. What you need to focus on is why you went back. What was it that caused you to let in? Was it that you were just too bored all the time? Were you just curious if you could? Did you just think you had stopped for long enough that you could go back? These are important questions to consider!
Yes, I was wayyy too bored. I didn’t think I would react the way i would…now i cant stop.
Cam, why do you feel the need for constant measurable growth is something that should be encouraged? I’m not sure if it’s a natural desire or something that would be nice to have, but never really existed outside of games in the first place. i.e. Games have bred this need for putting in X effort and getting Y reward, when such a system simply does not exist IRL.
From what I’ve seen, nothing outside of activities that involve muscle memory (martial arts, dancing, etc) provide some form of this growth and even then it’s never a steady rate of growth. I find that going overboard with practicing dance is a bad thing… sometimes it’s better to let it lie for a while. When you come back, you find new ideas, better ways to integrate all the new things you and your body have learned. You’ve improved, and it was because you *didn’t* practice.
I’m not sure about this though… it may exist and I may be wrong. I’m curious to see what your real life corollaries are.
@ Mohamed – Yes, it’s pretty incredible hey? A few comments above yours I wrote about how video games create an unrealistic expectation of stimulation in real life, and why that’s one of the reasons to avoid prolonged exposure to them.
@ Turningman – Thanks for your comment! I definitely think it’s a natural part of many areas of our lives. We like to see things progress. Think about relationships, or jobs. I don’t know if we necessarily NEED to see measurable growth, but it certainly appeals to us. I think where it gets unhealthy in video games is that we assume the growth = progress = productivity, when in fact, even though within the game we are growing, it’s not guaranteed to be real progress in LIFE itself.
Hey Cam
Guess what, now i just found that im too lazy for gaming anymore.
Everytime i play Counter-Strike, League of Legends, and Starcraft II i spend so much energy to focus, i was playing CS in professional level.
But now i am too lazy to play games which stops me from getting back to gaming!
so happy now i wanted to share this =)
@ Simba – Thanks for coming back and giving me an update! I’m happy to hear you have managed to quit playing!
dude you’re a smart ass (in a good way)
I’ve got to tell u that u said everything i had need to stop playing
i was always using them as a reward, or to get in touch with my friends from elementary school coz they were even (are*) bigger addicts than me
for past 2 months i tried to stop, but i kept on downloading games and i would play them for like less than 1 day and then uninstall
and it was driving me crazy, it was ”stronger” than me
and when i read one part of this that said – it’s about commiting not to play, even if u do want to, and u will
i always let them controll me
things you own, end up owning you
good advice, thx one more time
Mini Update! I’ve been at school again for the last 10 weeks, and i’ve hardly touched games. Yes, I have been playing Fifa 13 on the Ps3, but it’s now the only game I play (I’ve quit all gaming on my computer) and I can easily take breaks from it whenever I want. I’ve made a point to go out with friends pretty much every weekend, too, which has helped me stay away. Lastly, Year 11 is so much busier than previous years, especially taking some Year 12 subjects… Which means I don’t have much spare time, and if I do, I usually just go and play sports!
Good luck to everyone else!
Cam,
Thanks for sharing. I was searching for “why is playing video game is more fun than living real life” and your article came up. I was expecting a bunch of usual tips but I think you have hit the root cause deep in human psychology. You addressed the common psychological factors of all the games and replace them with healthy alternatives. I used to be addicted to video games, but I’ve quit it for other more practical interest such as cooking and training MMA. I do play occasionally, but only with friends. Keep up the good work!!
@ Dominic – Thanks for commenting! I’m super glad you found value in the post. Remember, you get to define your story. You get to define what your life is about. It doesn’t have to be about games. 🙂
@ Liam – Thanks for the update! You are doing great. keep it going 🙂
@ Don – Thanks for commenting. Also good job taking action to find answers to the problems you’re having. I’m glad I was able to help but remember, if you didn’t look for the article you may have not found it. Good job! MMA is a great idea, I’m going to add that to my list.
Haha faggot
This is a good article.
I see that some people treat gaming as their career, and i think that’s what makes gaming hinder them from living their real life better. Gaming should be anoption to relieve one stress, not a life achievement or career. Gaming is like eating good food, it’s a pleasure and relieve one stress, but when you make it your career, it’s becoming a poison for your real life progress.
That to say, i for one also a gamer, but i don’t have any plan to quit it cold, since it’s just a media for me to relieve some stress. Also games and movies are where i actually learn to speak english better than my friends who just learn it back in school and private lessons. Aside from that english language skill, i also use gaming as one of many options i use to enhance my strategical and logical thinking skill, and my decision making skill, which in turn help me out greatly on my real life.
So, gaming shouldn’t go as far as interupting our real life. Manage your gaming, don’t let it manage you instead. Still, i see this article as good, cause it’s a good solution for people who do gaming the extreme like you were 😉
Hi there, its good piece of writing regarding media print, we
all know media is a great source of facts.
So I’ve decided to quit gaming, not completely, but I will not let it interfere with my studying and my life now. Gaming itself is not bad, it’s just us gamer who used it as an excuse. Thanks CAM for this inspiring article.
On the other hand. I have another thing I want to ask. I have 2 cousins who are also, I think, addicted to gaming, not as much as me though. So the older cousin, he can control himself, he’s not too deep into gaming. But the younger one is the problem. My younger cousin is online 12. But he has already played League of Legend for almost 2 years. He’s showing sign of addiction (played at least 4 5 games a day, doing nothing beside going to school, gaming and watching anime, getting irritated when he can’t play). The thing is I told him to control himself, but he’s just too young to understand. I tried telling his parents, it’s not really working. Can someone give me advice on this? I don’t think he will bother reading this article if I show it to him because he’s just too young to understand and he hates reading.
Although I play video games a lot, I think it’s good. The only way I’m going to stop is when I am the best. I think becoming one of the best and then retiring from the game is the only way to quit. But I think video games shouldn’t be construed as an addiction. Really it’s just like smoking… there never used to be anything wrong with smoking tobacco until people started calling it an “addiction” and tobacco companies started putting poison in cigarettes. It’s people’s therapeutic attitudes that need to be fixed — it’s the only way some people can relate to others, by assuming there’s something wrong and they need “help.”
@cam (hope you will read and respond)
First of all, very interesting article you made there!
I stumbled on it by pure ”coincidence” (I do not believe in coincidence ^^) while searching for other topics and it immediately attracted my attention.
However, while most of the comments you got from this article are going in your set of mind, I might have to be the devil’s advocate.
– Playing video games isn’t 110% bad !
I know that is not exactly quite what you said, but you aren’t very far from claiming it. At some point in your responses, you even stated something like this –
” When you play 1 hour of video game, you do not growth at all. You get nothing out of it except entertainment and pleasure.”
And this is where I personally believe you may be wrong. I think you got this idea out of your own disappointing experiences and the experiences of people like you, who have or have had tremendous addiction problem (you can count me in).
When I first read the story you provided to us in this article, I could easily understand you had a huge emptiness in yourself at the highest point of your addiction. You clearly tried to hide and ignore it in competitive video games, where you felt the most alive, where you could come close to ‘fulfillment’.
Don’t worry, I assure you I understand how intense and rewarding these games can be!
But hey, I do not teach you anything there, am I? ^^
My point to you is, life is all about balance.
While there are some things in life that lie on the dark side and shouldn’t be touched in a journey of self-improvement, for the rest it’s all a matter of choices and balance.
I don’t know if you realized yet that we are living in a very saddening time on this planet, where most of the choices we have are ‘limited’ by the mold we are in. This society is giving us… consommation and entertainment.
Life isn’t what it used to be.
We were born in a world where technology is predominant and we can’t escape it completely, at least not right now (it could change all very soon).
What I mean here is what other choices do we really have in 2013?
What do you think are the most popular activities nowadays?
Drink alcohol, go to the bar, party, meet new people, have some sex, watch professional sports, watch porn (sad but true), practice sports, go to school, work hard, watch TV, play Video games. etc etc.
In brief, anything to keep the mind occupied and far from the true secret of life: the present moment.
Now I completely agree with you when you say that video games can be a huge problem in one’s life, but so many other things can be. Even things that are very positive or necessary in life with moderation can turn the other way when unbalanced. Quick example; physical activitiy, love, food, water, sex, sports, use of words, etc.
What you fail to realize is that the problem isn’t with video game itself (the exterior/ an object outside of us), but with the people using it.
It’s the same deal as the discovery of the atom, which should only have served the human race, but in fact lead us to the discovery and use of the Atomic Bomb.
Video games isn’t the problem (though there are clearly huge issues with the actual set of most games [like violent games, war games, competitive games based on rank system, etc] ), it’s how the people interact with it.
The thing I would have really liked to see in your article to be complete and balanced is this –
The problem is with how people really feel in their inner self. People aren’t happy. People aren’t close to what life really is. They have lost their way. They do not know the divine anymore. They are far from being balanced in and out.
People try to find things they intimately believe will lead them to happiness, which in fact will lead them to the opposite road, but they can’t realize it until life force them to. That’s exactly what happened to you, to others and to myself. It then becomes an addiction.
We think the material world (and virtual in this instance) will bring us fulfillment and happiness and it can take quite some time before we realize the lies of this belief (in fact, it can take a lifetime).
Now you may say to yourself at this point that I didn’t bring any true valid arguments yet as to why video games can have a lot of benifits.
The answer lies in two things;
1- Always being in the present moment so you can BE, LEARN, AND EVOLVE in every thing you do.
2- What the actual developers make out of this industry.
POINT NUMBER 1
————————
You should already know by yourself that it is scientifically proven that video games can have benifits on the body and brain.
I can tell you this is true since I have felt some of these benifits.
Let me give you one of my own example;
I am studying in Nursing, where I face a lot of stress and unpredictable events. This take a lot of focus/concentration and confidence if you want to manage all of this.
I realized some years ago I’ve lived with an attention disorder for quite some time. I lose my focus quickly if I don’t put energy into it. I’ve learned a lot of ways to counter this like meditation, relaxation, eating well, lots of sleep, and things like that. (note that I don’t use medication and will never do!)
They all work.
But they all lack something; the unexpected.
This is where I’m going with this –
Video games offered this to me and helped me a lot in the concentration and adaptive aspect (and is still helping me) because it offered me the unexpected, the unpredictable (to a certain extent, of course) where I could learn to react to a lot of different situations and emotions. I learned a lot from it. Of course, there are many other things that have helped me like meditation and the present moment, but it’s all a melting pot and it includes video games.
Naturally, this is a problem one can also work on in everyday life. Meeting new people, doing new activities and such can all help with concentration. But don’t forget what I said above, what are the activities available to us in 2013? What if they don’t really interest one individual? What if one find them very plastic and boring. Not even soul lifting? This is my case.
While I have a lot of friends and enjoy doing many things, the sad reality is that actually, in the shape of this world, video games is one of the best thing I can rely on in my free spare time at home. But don’t worry, I’m working on myself everyday of my life. I’m always learning and leading myself closer and closer to the divine source. Like I said, it’s ALL about BALANCE and MODERATION.
POINT NUMBER 2
————————-
When I’m looking at the overall games we get since a couple of years, I’m really shocked to see how far developers have come to subtle subliminal and ominous messages and scenarios. It’s very dark and almost like they are preparing us to global catastrophe. It is not positive and I think you can agree with me on that.
Some games are very uplifting, but it’s clearly a minority.
However, have you ever wondered what we could really do with games? What is their true hidden potential that hasn’t been used yet?
Have you ever asked this little question to you:
could we make something very good out of it? Instead of violent games, for example…
I’ve had this image in my head for a very long time, and I’m going to close this message with this since I have to leave soon, but I’ve had this image of a game where you really learned something. Something useful. A game where you could play it just like you read a book, or like you watch a documentary show or video… but with the interactive aspect games can provide us.
Games could even be used in schools where kids would probably learn faster (especially for boys) by interacting with them and doing something instead of just listening (when you know even the majority of people lose their concentration very quickly). Think about a game where you would play the story (shortened ofc) of Jacques Cartier and see what he really saw with his own eyes. Do you think the mind would learn and integrate it easier?
Think about it.
This is only my personal vision based on my own experiences, ofc.
Let me know what you think,
take care,
StOrD
@CAM – Thanks 🙂 Your article and advice you have given me in the past year in the comments has helped me a lot, if it wasnt for you i would still be playing games 24/7.
In the past 6 months i spent a lot of time with my old irl friends, we went out clubbing every weekend, attended EDM festivals and pretty much lived life to the fullest,(i blame myself for not studying to get thru my exams but still, i dont regret the social experienced i had)
most of my friends abuse party drugs but i decided to stay away from them. I have never done drugs in my life and i quit alcohol 1 month after getting into it.
In the free time I go to the gym 4 times a week, im skinny as fuk and im trying to put on some muscle.
IMO gaming is one of the main reasons that makes people socially awkward, its worse if you are young. If you get hooked on to games as a teen it fuks u up more because teenage years are the years when you are supposed to develop the social skills. I spent most of my teen years playing First person shooters and barely ever went out (other than school) so it fuked me up badly because i didnt spend enough time socializing.
but at the moment if i stay away from games for 3 months or so I can fit in to any social situation. Few months ago i met an awkward guy in my college, we were put in a group of 5 and the only thing we had in common was gaming. he admitted that he was a hardcore gamer, so i did some online *detective-ing* thru his FB and it turns out that i have played against him in clan wars in COD4 few years ago. I mean what are the fking odds of this happening ? lol the guy is so awkward i can already tell that he still plays games.
Good news in my life, I sold my computer last week. Now I have nothing and no way of getting back into gaming. I am typing this on my laptop, dont worry CAM I wont disappoint you this year. 🙂
Good luck to you all
cam…
i m very very thankful to u…
m an indian guy…m 17…
everyday i return from my 8 hrs class n m pissed of…only thinking of when in this hell i reach home n play counter strike condition zero…
but at nite,everyday when i used to sleep i used to admire that m doing wrong…
next day agen same story…
i got plenty of frnds…i was a studious guy n now last year i sucked in my academics…ur article was like a turning point man…thanks a lot…i read it whenever i feel like playing cs…:-)
After going over a few of the blog posts on your site, I seriously appreciate your technique
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Hey Cam, thanks a lot for this blog. I used to game a lot and everything else was just boring to me. Even the games werent funny anymore cuz I knew it was wrong gaming all day long. Now I found the motivation to start a new chapter in my life. I stop playing videogames completely. Im looking forward to write again after a succesful month without gaming. Hope you all will accomplish your goals 🙂
I started playing video games when I was about 9 years old; that was when Atari first brought out computers. I believe my first family computer was the Atari 400 and the very first game I played was Pac-Man. Now, I’m 40 years old, I have carpal tunnel, very few friends, very little motivation, and I’m a social phobic. I like meeting new people, but it seems to me that they don’t like meeting me. A lot of people treat me like an outsider which makes reaching out that much harder. A challenge is a good thing if there is a just reward attached to it. Games give me that. People, for the most part, do not. I think because I have been part of this virtual world for so long, I don’t know how to be part of the real one or how to act appropriately so I can come off as “not weird”.
I’m not good at conversation. I have no idea what to talk about. Pretty much all I know and can really talk about are video games. And if the people aren’t into games then I might as well be talking about golf to people that hate sports. People say to read to learn new things. Half the stuff I read I don’t even remember so I figure what’s the point. I don’t know how to get away from video games and just drop them ‘cold turkey’. I don’t know how you pulled that off. I guess having friends helps. My best friend is a hardcore gamer who plays Black Ops until his fingers bleed, not literally of course, but that sure doesn’t help. Every time I pick up a book to read, it bores me to tears and makes me sleepy. Then I end up having unscheduled naps. Then I’m awake at 2:00 am, can’t find anything decent to watch, and don’t feel like watching one of my own movies that I’ve seen a hundred times.
I just feel like there’s no hope for me because I’m introvert and rarely ever go anywhere unless I absolutely have to (unless a game is on sale for a really good price). I have literally walked to EB Games in a blizzard to score a deal on a game lol. If only I could put that motivation elsewhere. I thought about doing volunteer work, but that may only pass a few hours a day and I know the second I get home my video games are going to be calling out to me. How am I supposed to ignore that call when I’ve been answering it for 31 years? When I try to stop myself from playing, I will pace around the house, bored to tears and tell myself, “Put a game on, but limit yourself.” And a few hours later, I’ve done more damage to my tendons and my chances of ever breaking free of this maddening urge to dive into this never-ending realm of eternal bliss.
There is such a thing as a lost cause and this definitely feels like one of them. I don’t know how to think positive when my reaching out has caused people to push me back, making me feel like I don’t belong – making me want to retreat back to my sanctuary. The only people that violate me in my sanctuary are whiny little boys on COD that can’t handle being killed over and over again lol. I dive in because it feels good to dive in. Yes, there is pain attached to the whole ordeal (my left wrist suffers the most), and I’m not justifying it. I really do want to quit playing video games; I just don’t know how to do it or what to do with my time without dwelling on my stupid addiction.
Why would u like to quit sumthing which u really enjoy doing? I tried distracting myself, read several articles but I wasn’t happy. I was missing sumthing in life, felt incomplete. I work, cook, spend time with my wife still life was a bit boring. I finally decided to start playing again. To be honest, am really happy. I balance my time with gaming n play when i am alone n not take the time away from other responsibilities. Don’t quit wat u like n be more miserable, balance it with other priorities. Gdluck
@CAM
I’M BACK FUCK YEAH – turns out medicine is a lot of work – who knew :p? Just want to start off my glorious return with this, which you posted a little while back:
“Thanks for commenting and adding your input. I have seen those studies but in my opinion, although video games DO improve certain qualities, traits and skills, it’s my opinion that the high risk of addiction outweighs the potential positive impact of games. You can develop hand eye coordination in other ways that don’t have the potential to harm you as much as games do. Just my take on it though!”
You can’t just offer an opinion like that without substantiating it with a lot of solid evidence and logic, and then say ‘Just my take on it though!’ to deflect anger and/or criticism directed at said opinion. From that comment alone, it’s very easy for me to suggest that your opinion is heavily skewed against video games by your very own experiences, and now possibly this very blog, which attracts a wildly disproportiate number of gamers who are addicted and been negatively affected by gaming to various degrees. I’d like to point out that this blog is the very first result when someone searches ‘quitting video games’ in google, and as many people as there have been who have wanted to quit video games, and so have used google for help, and so have visited and commented on this blog, the number is virtually nothing compared to the number of gamers out there, the vast majority of which handle it fine.
You also say that the risk of addiction is ‘high’ – not only have you not substantiated that statement, it actually depends on the person – different people with different personalities, psychologies and life situations will find it easier/more difficult to be addicited to games e.g. someone who’s just moved to a new area and is struggling to make friends may use video games as an escape and/or a substitute method of social interaction, potentially to addicition whereas someone whose social life is good doesn’t have that risk, and gaming may even augment it as they can play with their friends.
I understand that you don’t necessarily have the time to write a proper multi-page argument in order to (try to) validate your opinion, and that’s fine – but then don’t do a botched job of it and state the opinion without the appropriate reasoning – it encourages others to do the same, and devolve a potential topic of discussion into a situation where each party makes claims/states opinions and all we have are assertions being thrown around.
I also understand that you may well be skewing some of your asserations/opnions on purpose in order to deter those who come to this site – mostly those addicted and seeking help – to not play video games anymore. If that is the case, then it’s completely unnecessary for you to do that, as you are more than capable of telling those addicted that those benefits are far far outweighed by those addicted to videogames.
Finally, looking at your initial article, the game you played were some of the most addicting games out there – believe it or not, there ARE other kinds of games out there eg ones with artistic merit (Shadow of the Colossus comes to mind), ones with an excellent story (MGS4 comes to mind here), and ones with good political/philosophical commentary (MGS4 comes to mind…again…it IS a fantastic game) – and before you say the addictive ones are the most popular, MGS4’s not exactly unpopular is it? You claim your point of view on video games has moderated since the writing of this article, and looking at the conversations you and I have hand, as well as the ones you’ve had with others, I can safely say I can agree – so could you overhaul the article? You laugh at the very notion of gaming as a career, you call games stupid, you heavily generalise and extrapolate based on your own anecdotal experience, and so on. This disclaimer of yours: “this article is for people who have a desire to quit playing video games (or want to help someone they know who is addicted.) If you aren’t looking to quit, then this article is not for you.” is nowhere near adequate, because the rest of the article is a 1-sided argument (and I’m being generous here) that completely bashes video games in every single way.
Once again I start off with an essay *sigh* I’m sorry CAM 🙁
@ Naradan – Thanks for commenting! I definitely understand your point about games being ok in moderation if they can be used in a productive manner. Especially to learn english! They are just very very easy to get out of hand, so it’s important to be careful.
@ Elva – Thanks. 🙂
@ Josh – Thanks for commenting! It can definitely be difficult when they are young. I honestly don’t even know the right answers to give you. What I would encourage is instead of fighting gaming head on, try to use your influence as an older cousin to share experiences with him through other activities. You can take him out to go play sports, etc, which may help encourage him to do things other than game. That’s the thing I’ve used with a few friends who had younger brothers/cousins addicted to games. It will be difficult to get them to stop, but you can positively influence him into other activities, especially if he looks up to you.
@ Arun – Thanks for commenting! I can understand where you are coming from but I don’t believe the logic is sound. Addictions do exist, they aren’t merely labels. 😉
@ Stord – Thanks for commenting. I agree with you about balance. Part of what I’m trying to communicate with this article (specified for a certain type of audience), is that balance IS good, but there are reasons why balance with video games can be difficult to develop.
I also don’t disagree with you that it’s not the medium but the person, but what I, again, am trying to communicate with the article is that there is a psychology behind why the PERSON is so drawn to games and why they seem UNABLE to stop playing (ie: get back to a balanced approach). Of course it’s the person. All I said really was that the games have a certain design now to take advantage of these psychological factors.
Trust me when I say I do not fail to realize any aspect of the video game addiction/non-addiction spectrum.
I understand people are unhappy and have low self-esteem. We could analyze across the board a multitude of addictions and activities people decide to engage in because of these low senses of self-worth.
I also don’t disagree that video games have benefits. In fact, in my book, I’ve written about some of these benefits, BUT, part of my argument is that it’s not GAMES that are the benefit but the gaming framework (learning through games). To expand further, Kingpin Social (the company that owns this blog) is currently running a 12-week program of our Social Dynamics curriculum for kids with autism, and all of the lessons we teach are taught through games. The gaming framework is great, but if there’s no educational content, it’s not going to do much.
Also, as I’ve said many many times, I believe there can be much more effective ways of learning certain things that you’d learn in video games. It’s interesting to me how this is always one of the fallback arguments FOR video games. “But it helps me with my hand-eye coordination!” Ya… so does playing baseball, or juggling. Video games don’t HAVE to be the answer. Also, looking at statistics, the fastest growing age group of kids playing video games is kids aged 2-5. So, a kid starts playing “video games” at the age of 2. Video games are now their source of entertainment… so, what happens when they are 5 or 7, or 12, or 18? Video games are STILL their source of entertainment, of FUN. So, what happens if you take video games out of it? What if video games were to disappear all of a sudden? Does this kid have any idea how to actually have fun? Remember the argument your parents always say about how when they were young they had to go outside and play? It’s not that going outside and playing is the most important thing in the world, but what it DID teach them was how to have fun and how to entertain themselves, without becoming dependent on video games. This is part of the answer to your question of “what if people aren’t interested in other activities”. It’s because people don’t experience other activities anymore. Unfortunately.
As I’ve said above, video games are OVERSTIMULATING, so as you engage in them more and more, it’s very difficult to find enjoyment in other activities, because they aren’t as stimulating as video games. It’s a very similar problem to porn addiction, and how watching porn affects your ability to properly experience REAL sexual encounters because porn sets unrealistic expectations. The same goes for video games. After you engage in them, over time your expectations of any other activities are so unrealistic that you find them “plastic and boring”.
I’m happy video games offered something to you that helped, and I’m not here to say YOU shouldn’t play video games, since you are capable of playing in balance and moderation and they help you out.
I do, however, think falling back on an argument of “well, it’s all about balance and moderation” is somewhat ignorant… not in the argument but in the faith in society to be “balanced and moderate”.
Also, a major part of my argument in the article is that in order to achieve balance you must first step away for awhile. I may not have stated this explicitly in the article, for reasons I’ve stated before (example: one of the worst things you can tell a recovering alcoholic is that they will be able to drink again. This ends up in them relapsing far sooner than they would otherwise if they stayed away from drinking for a long time and came back to it after truly developing that independence of the substance.)
Anyways, just a few rambling thoughts. PLEASE take the above with a grain of salt. I don’t have the time to go through and edit, proof-read, etc. The thoughts above are intended to add to the overall discussion and express certain perspectives you may not be thinking about (as your perspectives give me thought as well.)
@ Anothergamer – Welcome back! I’m happy to hear what you’ve been up to. Thank you for the update. I’m also a skinny mofo who’s trying to add on weight. Best tip: DIET. I’ve gained 13 pounds over the past 2 months by working out and eating 2500+ calories per day. Diet works. Anyways, totally agree about games making you socially awkward. It’s not so much that they make you awkward, but you just don’t have very much practice in real social situations, so you’re rusty, or lack good practice to improve. Hope you have a great weekend!
@ Abhishek – Thanks for commenting! I’m happy the article is working for you. It means a lot to me.
@ Ragdoll cats – Thank you for the compliments. I hope you come back! 🙂
@ Someone – Thanks for commenting! I can’t wait to hear an update from you soon! Please come back and let me know how it’s going.
@ Lostcause – Thanks for commenting! You’re not a lost cause though! Forgive the following advice if it does not apply to some of your medical conditions. I’m not fully aware of what you can/cannot do.
My best advice is starting small and building from there. Not for quitting games, but for adding other activities in your life. As an example, volunteering would be a great idea because it would cut out a few hours of your day that would normally go to games. Now, as you volunteer and enjoy it more, you *may* be encouraged to play less. It’s kind of like what I mention in the article. As I started doing other activities I found my desire to play games lessened because I saw more value in other activities. This is similar to what I want you to consider. I would start with volunteering and a few other activities like learning a new language, playing an instrument, AND doing something like going to yoga or some type of fitness class. Remember, if you can cut down on the time you HAVE to play games, it’s a positive step forward. Also, for the time being, it may be ok to play games as a reward for completing your volunteer hours, or doing a few hours of other activities. I think rewarding yourself for good behavior is one of the most motivating forces. At least it works for me. Try to find “small wins” each day that move you forward towards your goals. If you accomplish these, your day was a success! For me, part of this is taking my vitamins, meditating for 10 minutes, reading for 30 minutes, etc. These are small and easy for me to accomplish.
@ Abhed Patil – Thanks for commenting. Balance is key yep. If it works for you, that’s awesome. Part of my argument in the article is that in order to achieve balance you must first step away for awhile.
@ AK – Welcome back. Always a pleasure discussing with you. Hope your studies have been going well. Maybe you should quit your studies and just play video games instead. 😛
I appreciate your perspective and analysis. You are correct that I do not have time to write out proper responses with links to studies, etc that back my claims. I hope to do so at some point but it’s just not a major priority for me right now. I understand the criticism by you and others on various points, but at the end of the day, for me it’s not about being right but getting it right. If someone WANTS to quit playing games, I want to provide the correct answer to their problem, which I believe I have. It certainly is not perfect, and there’s many holes one can find, but I’m more than fulfilled knowing the number of people this post has POSITIVELY impacted. It may be a small number in comparison to a “large” number you claim handle games just fine, but I truly believe that point could be argued intensely by both sides. There may even be a significant amount of speculation on both parties, merely because I imagine video games will be similar to other “addictions” that took a long time for proper research, etc to be conducted.
I understand the games I played are different than many other games that aren’t as bad. But they’re the games I played, and for others playing those games, I wrote the article for.
My point of view has evolved in certain regardless but I do not see an overhaul of the article happening anytime soon. I did overhaul it a few months ago to take out some of the unnecessary swearing and other noise.
The truth is, many people (including yourself) will disagree with me that video games are a waste of time, but in many ways it’s a similar argument I had with my cousin recently about cleanliness. You see, I’m a very clean guy, I like my house to be organized, etc. My cousin is the total opposite. He’s incredibly messy, leaves dishes for days, etc. We’ve been living together recently so it’s caused a lot of tension between us. Now, I tried to debate this with him, and tried to communicate to him why being clean is so important to the quality of your life, but at the end of the day, his point was this: he truly did not give a fuck about being clean at all, in fact, he enjoyed the chaos within the mess. Did I disagree? Of course, but, what I have to realize is that his values are different than my values. When it comes to video games, my opinion that they are a waste of time is because of certain values I hold. If someone holds different ones, they may disagree with me. But the truth is this: neither person will ever be correct. I’m not here to say my opinion that video games are a waste of time is the right one, but only one side of the coin. Does that mean it should be thrown out? No. If anything, my hope is to share another perspective for people to truly think about, where they can maybe see some of the value in NOT playing video games, or maybe they can improve their perspective that they HAVE to play video games or that they could NOT LIVE WITHOUT them. For me, I’ve seen the quality of my life improve without games. Yes, many people are correct that when I was playing games I was not happy and it wasn’t the games, but my own life I was unhappy with. I ABSOLUTELY could go back to playing games and keep it in balance. I still choose not to. Not because I haven’t experienced games since writing this article, because in fact, in preparation for my book I began to play again to understand the games better. But my opinion still remains the same and I am content recommending against them. I’ve evolved my opinion to the point where if someone wants to play, I don’t judge them for it. We just have different values.
First off great article, and congrats on quitting. I am glad you didn’t state the obvious. Or even worse… admit your powerless to your addiction lol. I too have grown up around games and have become very addicted to most types. I just noticed that I am just getting mad quicker than usual. I can’t continue playing games because I am just so angry about all the competition. Def doesn’t help that I don’t have a good internet connection.
Anyways, just wanted to say things for the article it was very enlightened.
@Stord (don’t worry CAM I have a nice long essay waiting for you)
I like you already :p! I can see that we have a lot in common, now work with me in helping CAM accept our point of view more!
@CAM (again)
Thank you for the cheeky suggestion Mr. CAM, but I love medicine, I have several different hobbies, and my interest in games or any specific game (or my skill) doesn’t extend to the point where I can play/commentate it long and hard enough make a living – so it’ll stay as one of my hobbies :p
Your analogy isn’t the best I have to say – there’s obviously logical and objective reasons why you WOULD want to keep your house clean and tidy – easier to find things, hygiene and so on (unless you could somehow make the argument that the time spent doing so -which honestly is, what, a few minutes a day? – could be put into even better use), whereas you cannot say this with gaming, no matter how hard you try, simply because there is such a wide range of games that cover so many bases, and a blanket opinion like this: “[your] opinion that they are a waste of time” is – satistically, if nothing else – wrong to at the very least some extent. You also say it’s
“because of certain values I hold” – what values? That any given activity that one does, apart from compulsory ones such as eating and sleeping, must contribute to personal development (e.g. emotional, intellectual)? – because that can be done with games. That anything that happens on a virtual medium is inherently a waste of time? I would very much like to know.
Furthermore, I’d like to point out something else you posted – in the very same post – to someone else:
“Thanks for commenting! I definitely understand your point about games being ok in moderation if they can be used in a productive manner.”
Hold up – I thought you said that games are a waste of time? But you just said they’re ok in moderation if used in a productive manner, implying they can be used in such a way, otherwise your comment would be pointless and silly without an addendum stating how that is supposedly impossible – because games are a “waste of time” according to you. Isn’t that a logical contradiction?
BUT WAIT, I read your reply to Stord, and… what? Seriously? My brain, CAM, my poor brain is suffering from the contradictions. You’ve told me unequivocally that games are a waste of time, and yet:
“I also don’t disagree that video games have benefits.”, implying they’re not a waste of time, yet in your post to me you say “they are a waste of time”.
“I’m not here to say YOU shouldn’t play video games, since you are capable of playing in balance and moderation and they help you out.”, correctly identifying the fact that it’s not a black-and-white thing and that video games can be helpful/productive but to me you say “I am content recommending against them.” – not against certain games, not cautioning against them, encouraging moderate use etc. – flat-out recommending against them, presumably to everyone.
Not to mention several other things I’m just not happy with:
“As I’ve said above, video games are OVERSTIMULATING” – I’m sorry, but I am living proof that that’s wrong, or at the very least, not always right. In all my years of playing games I’ve never felt this way. If I play a game more and more, eventually I’m going to want to have a break, in which case other activities seem MORE appealing than before (say I’ve been stuck at a point in some single-player game, and after several failures I take a break to think about in the back of my head whilst playing football with my brother). And even if so, there are other activities where over-stimulation can occur – such as extreme sports (due to the dopamine release that gives you a high, and the desensitization that occurs over time, driving people to seek ever bigger thrills) – and I don’t see you bashing them.
“Video games don’t HAVE to be the answer.” I certainly agree, but it has to be said that video games don’t have to, y’know, NOT be the answer, and an alternative sought without question.
“So, a kid starts playing “video games”… without becoming dependent on video games.” Could you not replace video games in that paragraph with ANY other single activity? Of course children should learn how to be creative and entertain themselves, but that doesn’t mean playing video games is automatically a bad thing, as long as it’s not to the exclusion of all else.
“BUT, part of my argument is that it’s not GAMES that are the benefit but the gaming framework (learning through games)”…for said framework to be put into use, you have to, y’know, actuallly have a game! In the example you give, it’s an educational game, in which content of the appropriate subject(s) and level(s) has to be combined with gameplay elements, rules e.g. point system, and so on. As such your comment doesn’t really make logical sense.
However what I suspect you’re actually implying is that the video games that exist now -or more likely you’re referring to the most popular ones- don’t use this framework in such a way that is beneficial in terms of personal development (intellectual, emotional, physical etc), and is only entertaining, along with having some social interaction, at best. Ignoring for a moment the fact that simply being entertained and socialising isn’t a waste of time, and that you can only learn and develop so much, and need time to absorb and reflect on what’ve you’re learnt/developed (not necessarily in the same day of course), that if you’re implying all games are like this, then you’re simply wrong (educational games, video games that explore various topics of interest e.g. war, philosophy, relationships etc. already exist and have since the start, or near the start at least), and if you’re implying the most popular games are like this, I will offer you games like MGS4 as counter-examples, but more importantly say even if so, so what? Someone like you should know far better than to judge all games by the most popular ones – I don’t see you judging other mediums the same way e.g. books – The Twilight series, very popular but awful, Television – *insert any reality-TV show here*, also popular but also awful, and so on – and I’ve made this point before, but you said that “games are a waste of time”, so I have no choice but to reiterate it…
BUT WAIT, to stord you’ve said, as I’ve ALREADY pointed out: “I also don’t disagree that video games have benefits.” and “I’m not here to say YOU shouldn’t play video games, since you are capable of playing in balance and moderation and they help you out.” Why CAM, just why are you doing this to me :(? The contradictory opinions offered hurt the part of me that likes logically consistent arguments and opinions.
But marvellous as I am, I have an ingenious solution in order to solve all these problems! How about this – instead of saying “they are a waste of time”, how about saying ‘they can very easily become a waste of time’? The strength of the statement hasn’t particularly changed – ‘very easily’ still implies a real danger – you don’t offend addicts coming on to this site looking for a helping hand and then see you bashing their favourite hobby (or people like me!), and you no longer present contradicting opinions (and so my brain doesn’t hurt)!
Such a simple change, but one that makes the resulting statement make FAR more sense, given the rest of your very valid points and arguments! Brilliant isn’t it? No need to thank me, sending me 10% of all future ad revenue from this site is more than enough recompense (I’m joking :p).
But seriously, that’s really all I’m asking. No blanket statements. No simplifying the issue into black-and-white terms. And no contradictions 🙂
Dude.
So relatable, it is insane.
Platinum player in LoL and SCII, and more, gaming has been a huge part of me.
After reading every word and taking it in, I realized that gaming is a piece of trash that ate through my entire life.
I uninstalled all my games, and now I study hard and I am more into hiphop (bboy, beatboxing).
I want to live the real life, the life that was a target that was so hard to hit for me.
Thanks a lot man, this actually saves lives, believe it or not.
It saved mine!
Okay, i’ve decided to change my name from just ‘Liam’ to ‘Liam S’, as i’m going to provide more updates (:
Unfortunately, i’ve been playing more games than usual, mainly because it’s school holidays, but also because I’ve got an unsightly full-body rash of these little red spots… Somehow caused by a mosquito bite (said my awesome GP), which has kept me sick for 3 weeks xD
Note to self…. mosquitos are not your friends
Aw, this was an exceptionally nice post. Finding the time
and actual effort to make a really good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot
and never seem to get anything done.
Instead of playing video games you can read this article instead, along with the unending thread of comments. Amazing how many people experience the same issues with video games. Thanks for explaining it so clearly, Cam, well done, and hope this page continues to grow.
@AK, this article does not contain facts, research, or citations. It also does not claim to do be scholarly, so your criticisms regarding quality are completely unnecessary. Secondly, Cam is appealing to personality types in his article. He is appealing to a specific niche of people who spend hours and hours of their time playing video games and have the potential to put their skills and talents and time towards real life improvements. Yes, millions play video games and have no addiction issues, but they are the people with jobs, friends, or daily activities, which keep them too busy to get hooked to video games. Cam is trying to say is that many people who have potential for meaningful lives can get too caught up in video games if they do not have all of those things (job, friends, social skills, etc.) in any amount or combination. And he is NOT contradicting himself. He is arguing for no video games, his argument is abstinence (you know, the safest sex is no sex?) He is telling people that the most efficient way of limiting video game playing time is to remove it completely! Why do you have a problem with that? You put strong emphasis on the life lessons and development video games give you. You say everything you do besides compulsory eating and sleep add to your growth. “That anything that happens on a virtual medium is inherently a waste of time? I would very much like to know.” Are you honestly trying to argue that playing mgs4 is more enriching than reading a politics book and attending a discussion panel on it? He is not saying your video games have no value, he is saying compared to real life experience, video game knowledge is a waste of time. He seems to be encouraging people to go play soccer instead of playing fifa. Your muscle building and team interaction is worth more than mastering the trick stick and playing online opponents. His message is for people who want to ENHANCE life. UPGRADE if you will. Video games are not encyclopedias, and for people who want to live life to the fullest, there is not enough time in a 24 hour day for video games. What is your point, what problems do you still have? You know what, if you are offended tough shit man. Video games ARE a waste of time and any gamer paid or unpaid knows that hours spent gaming are hours missing out on great social and business enterprises. Try to understand the message.
@Derek (and a little bit to you CAM, as some bits may also interest you, particularly the last bits)
I’m sorry, but there are several quotations that I have compared side-by-side which show contradictions in CAM’s arguments/statements, and you have dismissed my comparisons out of hand without actually pointing out flaws in my reasoning. I’ve also stated that I understand the CAM doesn’t have the time to providence citations, research, and so on (though he has made very valid points with several facts – an argument without facts? Perish the thought), and have also stated multiple times across several posts that I appreciate that CAM targets a specific audience with this blog which you so aptly describe, and merely want him to present a consistent point of view throughout all of his posts.
You’re also misinterpreted, misrepresented and generally strawmanned my arguments:
“He is arguing for no video games, his argument is abstinence (you know, the safest sex is no sex?) He is telling people that the most efficient way of limiting video game playing time is to remove it completely! Why do you have a problem with that?” I am happy for him to suggest abstinence to those who are currently addicted to video games, and agree that it is the best solution in such cases, my problem is not with this but rather his claim that “video games are a waste of time”, which I am attempting to challenge, and also the fact that quotes like these: “I also don’t disagree that video games have benefits.” and “I’m not here to say YOU shouldn’t play video games, since you are capable of playing in balance and moderation and they help you out.” clearly contradict that statement, hence my asking for clarification.
““That anything that happens on a virtual medium is inherently a waste of time? I would very much like to know.” Are you honestly trying to argue that playing mgs4 is more enriching than reading a politics book and attending a discussion panel on it?” This is a pretty strong example of a straw man – I never even implied that mgs4 is is anywhere near as intellectually enriching as reading a politics book or attending a discussion panel on it, I merely used it as an example to illustrate that games are not necessarily purely entertainment all the time, and that games are not a complete, as claimed by CAM, a waste of time. You don’t need to encourage me to read books, I love books and I do medicine of all subjects – I do plenty of reading :).
I also fail to see how playing a sport with your physical body is necessarily better or more worthwhile than playing video games. You state this “Your muscle building and team interaction is worth more than mastering the trick stick and playing online opponents.” I would agree with that specific case, but what if you’re playing a competitive multiplayer game with teammates online who you know in real life? Isn’t there some team interaction there? Or even better, having friends over, and playing side-by-side versus others? Being strong, of course, is never a bad thing (though I wonder if you’d ever suggest muscle building to any girl/woman, because if not that argument would ring a little shallow), and playing sports promote good health for obvious reasons, but assuming that the gamers in my example situations do do a healthy amount sport and/or exercise in order to keep their fitness up, then I fail to see the distinction – in both cases one is playing a game with an arbitrary set of rules in the sense that there is no deeper meaning e.g. no helping humanity, no pursuit of higher knowledge, and sports improve your physical and/or mental fitness (as per games like chess, according the closest to an international agreement on a definition of sport provided by SportAccord, according to Wikipedia), whereas games can improve things like manual dexterity and hand-eye coordination and mental fitness in a different way (the extremely deep intelligence and understanding required for a sport like chess is completely different and cannot compare to the adaptive intelligence and quick-thinking required for a rts game like Starcraft (or, now that I think about it, blitz chess), as well as the manual dexterity required for microing).
“for people who want to live life to the fullest, there is not enough time in a 24 hour day for video games” People need to unwind, if not every day, then at least once in a while. There is only so much your body and mind can take, and unwinding helps with stress, taking stock of what you’re learned e.g. when revising (which I’m doing now), and so on. Video games are a perfectly reasonable outlet in such cases, and I see no reason why it should be considered any worse than any other outlet in such a situation. Video games, in such a case, aren’t a waste of time, because there are tangible and logical physiological and/or psychological benefits to taking a break (depending on what you’re taking a break from), and my argument is not and never has been that video games are a superior form of activity, or that one should spend all their time gaming, merely that it is an acceptable outlet, can teach you things, and is an acceptable art form like any other (such as films, books, and traditional art).
“You know what, if you are offended tough shit man. ” I am not offended at your differing point of view, and am only disappointed at the fact that you’ve not actually properly addressed and countered my arguments, have been unnecessarily accusatory, and treated me almost with disdain. My posts with CAM have been extremely civilized – look at my last post: notice my use of emoticons and dramatization to lighten up my posts (I tend to write very long posts, so it makes it easier for him to read through it, and it’s one of the ways I use to show that I don’t resent him, hate him, think he’s irrational, stupid, and so on (besides, you know, how the post a whole is in no way accusatory or insulting as far as I can tell), and so there is no need for you to come to his defence. I have no problem with him as a human being, merely am questioning and challenging some of what he’s saying, whilst also acknowledging the validity of a lot of what he’s saying: “given the rest of your very valid points and arguments”.
“Video games ARE a waste of time and any gamer paid or unpaid knows that hours spent gaming are hours missing out on great social and business enterprises.” The most obvious point to make here is that games and social interaction are not mutually exclusive by any means – my friends and I have often played football for several hours, tired our bodies, then gone to one of our homes and socialised through gaming. As for business enterprises, are you saying they are never a waste of time? Take a stockbroker, for example – buying and selling share for the sole purpose of making money. Where is the intellectual, physical, emotional, or other form of development there? Where is the ‘deeper meaning’ of such a job – helping humanity or furthering human knowledge? You may well argue the money earnt may be put to further cause relevant to either or both of those objectives, but then so can money earnt by gaming, or any other means, and there would be no difference (except if the method of acquiring money is obviously immoral and unethical). As for an unpaid gamer – well I’ve already talked about that.
Just to finish off here, let me talk about competitive sprinters as an example. There is no question that a lot of hard wark is required to become in tip-top physical shape and the develop a proper sprinting technique, and various psychological factors come into play as well, determination, unwillingness to give up, the drive to be the best, and so on. All this, of course, is to be the best sprinter possible. But what does that achieve? Once one has become the best, what have they achieved that isn’t completely arbitrary, whose value is defined based on the rules and regulations we (humans in general) set (see this article http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15265161.2012.681337)? The hard work and talent of each competitive sprinter serve to provide the ultimate goal of entertainment via competition – but does an activity for entertainment automatically equal a waste of time? No, as I’ve already explained previously, and in this example the sprinter has improved their physical fitness to the extreme, psychologically developed in multiple ways, and has excelled and pushed the boundaries of human capabilities, no matter that the sport itself is arbitrary. Video games are similarly arbitrary in that you cannot benefit humanity, further human knowledge etc. by playing them, and whose value is defined based on the rules and regulations we set in terms of how to win and so on. That doesn’t preclude you learning anything from them, developing psychologically in a similar way to the above example (competitive e-sports), developing mentally e.g. your adaptive intelligence, improving your hand-eye coordination, manual dexterity, socialising whilst playing them, and so on.
And finally, a couple of links that I would encourge you to watch:
http://www.ted.com/talks/daphne_bavelier_your_brain_on_video_games.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/jane_mcgonigal_gaming_can_make_a_better_world.html
I hope that we can have an intelligent discussion, and I hope you have a nice day :).
hey cam im 11 years old and well i love to play video games mainly my ps3. Now for someone my age its really hard to get rid or srry not touching my ps3 for two years so maybe i might do something like that but its hard because basically everyone in my grade talks about video games and the people who don’t are sort of nerdy not to be mean and the others are the popular kids who wont let me join there group. i fell like some of the kids at school who get Fs because they only play video games. my mom says you need to take school more seriously but i have As and Bs except in my spanish class i need help.
Hey Cam.
First of all I want to say; I’m amazed by the work you’ve done here! The article itself is brilliant, and the way you answered almost every comment blows me away. You must have put an incredible amount of time into this, and that is great. The world needs people like you, who can make a stand against the games and their addictions.
Games today are designed to get the players hooked easily, and the “free to play” games are no exception. People need to open their eyes and see that gaming addiction is serious.
So a little history; I’m 19 years old, and I have been playing games since I was 8 or so. It has been Call of Duty, CS, and different strategy games, but for the last 17 months I have pretty much only been playing the MMO game League of Legends. The game is obsessing, addictive and almost every time I play it, I feel more relaxed and happy before I start playing it, and when I’m done playing I feel annoyed and stressed. Sometimes even angry. And that’s not how it should work at all. Games were designed for fun, and for simply relaxing. I should also mention that the League of Legends community is probably the most toxic of all gaming communities. There is no way you can have a serious discussion on any of the forums, it’s just not happening.
How am I supposed to justify putting so much of my time into something that gives me nothing but misery. That’s a question I’ve never asked myself before reading this. And what a question!
Playing games gives me nothing in exchange for my time. Actually it consumes my time, and puts me in a worse mood. That’s like a loose/loose situation. After many years of playing games I think it’s time to get over it. And what you said about the professional gamers that everyone want to be is also true. I’ve watched a good couple of League streams, and almost all of the pros look tired and bored when playing. And the more I think of it, the less I want such a life. They play this game for 10+ hours a day (most pro players claims this), but what do they learn? Also, how cool is it really when you tell a girl that your profession is gaming?
So after today I’ve decided to stop playing games, mainly because I’ve realized how much time I’ve put into it, thanks to you man! I get this feeling when I think of all the time that I’ve wasted playing, or all the weekends spent on LANs, it makes me sick. All that time I could have learned new stuff in life or socialized. The very same sick feeling also motivates me strongly to live my life in a better way from now on. I have never tried to stop playing games before, because I have never realized how much time that actually went into it. I have never seen the gaming for what it actually was. I will definitely show this article to my friends!
I hope I didn’t come off as over-dramatic or something like that, but I find it kinda huge that this article could make me not wanting to play games again. It just seems so logical.
I know that If I decide something I stick to it, I just needed something to help me get to the choice.
Once again I thank you for a really awesome article!
PS: Sorry for my English, I’m not a native speaker.
@CAM
Is there any particular reason my most recent post isn’t up? Just wondering
@CAM – Thanks 🙂
It feels good knowing that I have been following this article and posting about my progress since April 19th 2012
Thanks to you i have managed to quit my addiction to alcohol(6 months alcohol free!) and porn (1 month). My grades in college are going up and im making friends, if i ever think of getting back into gaming hopefully i will come back and look back at my posts here in the comment section
and yep, diet is key, i have gained 20 lbs so far, my goal is to be close to 200 lbs and shredded around 8-12% bodyfat.
I wish i could send some donations your way because this article saves lives.
keep up the good work
It’s important to me that we create a win-win, based on fairness. Our friendship is important so I want us to do this right.
Thank you all for your comments. I truly do appreciate your input into this important discussion. I have been travelling (just moved to Boulder, CO!) so I have not had time to respond. An interesting article was shared with me yesterday and I wanted to pass it along to you guys: http://canadaam.ctvnews.ca/digital-detox-u-k-doc-treats-kids-as-young-as-4-for-technology-addiction-1.1258284#.UX7FyfbM7tQ.email
@ Paul – Thank you for the compliments. It’s interesting that you mention how you get angry, because in that article I posted above it talks about how people addicted to games then to have anger issues. There is also another article I read recently about anger that I really liked, maybe it will help you too: http://zenhabits.net/anger/
@ AK – Not sure what happened to your latest post. I did not remove it. :/ I can understand your frustration with the conflicting comments by me lately. The only reason for this is merely personalizing my comments based on the discussion/situation/person at hand. For the comment about games being ok in moderation, that guy seemed to have no problem with games and I didn’t want to give him the wrong advice. It’s not so much MY opinion as much as just the general point of view.
Something I’ve been practicing for the past 2 years is a lot of mindfulness. Having these discussions about video games has begun to make me a bit uncomfortable simply because I don’t want to be that guy telling people what they should or should not do. Now, if someone comes asking for help, I’m more than happy to give them my experiences and point of view, but if someone doesn’t want to quit (as an example), who am I to tell them they should quit? It’s up to them to have that epiphany and then seek help to solve the problem they are running into. This is where you are beginning to see contradictions in my opinions. Within the debate you and I have had, it’s been strictly on my opinion of games, which have not changed much over time (a little bit as we’ve discussed previously.) My opinion is still that I believe games to be not be as productive as we like to make them seem, and there are other activities we can be doing that will provide us with more fulfillment than games. I understand this does not apply to every person on the planet, but it’s my general view of the debate.
However as I’ve said before, I’m at a point now where my opinion depends a lot on how the other person is approaching the problem. If they don’t want to stop, then my opinion would be to continue doing it and that’s fine. I’m not here to judge them for playing games. If they have the awareness that their current lifestyle leads them to be unhappy, then it’s up to them to either be assertive to change it or seek help. I don’t want to be the guy to tell them what to do or not, unless they ask my help because I’ve successfully moved past the addiction (and it was a strong one!)
As I’ve said many times, I really do appreciate your perspective and input you’ve added into the discussion, which has also influenced my own perspective as well.
@ Jasper – Thanks for your comment. The insane part is how many people have commented saying they relate! That’s crazy! Go for it! You deserve to live the life you want. You don’t need to be trapped within games!
@ Liam S – Thanks for coming back with an update! This is a great example of why it’s important to find new hobbies instead of just to quit games. If you quit games but don’t find new hobbies then as soon as you start feeling bored again your go-to will be games. To quit successfully you need to replace these with other activities. Try new things!
@ Youtube – Thanks for commenting. I would think about why you hesitate and what you seem to be afraid of!
@ Derek – Thank you for commenting. It literally blows my mind every day that there’s this amount of people who have commented. I’m very grateful that my message has been able to help so many people. I appreciate the way you articulated what my message was. You did it better than I’ve been able to. Thank you for taking the time to say the message in a new way.
@ JT – Wow! I’m amazed that someone who’s 11 years old has the courage to seek help and post a comment! Very proud of you JT. I want to encourage you to pick up other hobbies. Learn a new language, learn to play a musical instrument, join a sports team. These are important hobbies that will develop amazing skills and character traits moving forward in your life. Other people have these hobbies so you will be able to make friends too! Ask your parents to help you join some of these clubs.
@ LK – Thank you for the compliments. I’m really happy you see the value in the article. I totally relate to what you’ve said. One of the keys that I want to encourage you to consider is instead of viewing all that time as a waste, see it merely as a chapter in your life that is ending. You’ve closed that chapter in your life and it was great! You had a ton of fun playing games, so you don’t need to regret it. BUT, what you want now in life, what you value, games don’t give you so you’re closing that chapter and moving forward to new and different things. The reason I believe this mindset is important is because it keeps that chapter of your life as a positive instead of a negative. Instead of feeling regret you feel gratitude, and you can constantly remind yourself of the reason WHY you want to pursue a different type of life, full of real experiences. Understanding purpose is very important for the success of quitting video games. Your english is great, good job!
@ Anothergamer – Congrats!!! I’m so proud of you for quitting your other addictions too. Have you seen http://yourbrainonporn.com? It’s an incredible resource within that spectrum. So proud of you man, keep it up!
hello there cam i read your article and it did really relates me im also an addicted of playing computer games i even started playing maybe around 7-8 years old and up until now 24 years old i played a lot of computer games like strategic games, online games rpg, etc. it gives me relaxation and enjoyment like everybody computer players out there but the problem is i am not growing into maturity and all my time pass away with nonsense even my education affected that even though i did graduate in college but in the end i got no work i even forget my lessons when i studied in my college days maybe because due of lack of concentration in my school days. but now i decide to stop all the computer games and just make improving my life and your article will motivates me to do so. I am happy that now i know that i’m not the only person who has the problem i have. sorry to have bad in English writing especially in grammar and construction of words as i said due to my lack of concentration in my school days i lucky passed them out.
@ Bryan – Thanks for commenting! You’re definitely not the only person. Over 300 people read this article each day (and they find it by searching google!) so there’s WAY more people like you then you even realize! Your English is also pretty good! Keep up the good work and feel free to come back and give us an update!
@CAM
Perhaps my post is perpetually awaiting moderation or something – a system glitch perhaps? Once I post this I’ll see if I can see my post in such a state, and repost it if possible.
I see you seem to dislike telling people unequivocally what to do, which I certainly respect you for. However, you’ve said “if someone doesn’t want to quit (as an example), who am I to tell them they should quit?” which is something I’m not happy with – if someone clearly has a serious problem and needs help, you can’t just not say anything, because of course you should help one in need. Telling someone what to do does not necessarily stem from a sense of superiority – you obviously know a lot about the subject that they may well not, and clearly someone whose video game addiction is ruining their life needs to stop playing for psychological well-being, at least for some time – in such a case that’s no less than a scientific fact, and stating facts does not entail arrogance – it’s only when knowing that makes you think you’re somehow superior or better than the other person is when you would show signs of arrogance.
“If they have the awareness that their current lifestyle leads them to be unhappy, then it’s up to them to either be assertive to change it or seek help.” Some people are more assertive than others, and some people are less inclined to seek help, are in denial of their problems, and so on – doesn’t mean they don’t have them! In a case as simple and clear as the one suggested above where it’s factually evident that they need to stop games, you should tell them that, and explain your reasoning behind that, so that they understand (understanding after all is the first step to acceptance) why you’res saying it. In cases which are more ambiguous in nature, it’s best to give them all the relevant information and lines of logic, suggest what conclusion you personally make based on this information and explain your reasoning, but also invite them to make up their own mind. I suppose you could approach the first proposed case in a similar way to more ambiguous cases, in order not to alienate the person you’re trying to help by appearing to offend them, giving out a perception of arrogance etc., but if they’re in denial that kind of approach may given them the wiggle room necessary to keep on denying their problems and escape rather than face them – I suppose it’s a case-by-case situation, as in many things in life.
“My opinion is still that I believe games to be not be as productive as we like to make them seem, and there are other activities we can be doing that will provide us with more fulfillment than games. I understand this does not apply to every person on the planet, but it’s my general view of the debate.
However as I’ve said before, I’m at a point now where my opinion depends a lot on how the other person is approaching the problem.”
Here were come to the gist of my problem – you first sentence here is an absolute statement, that implies no exceptions to said statement among certain games, certain people, or the context in which they’re played. But then your second statement says that this doesn’t apply to everyone (and this necessarily implies that certain games and contexts are also exceptions, because if some people can do so as productively and in a fulfilling manner as any other activity, then it necessarily follows that the game(s) and context(s) lend themselves to this productivity and fulfillment), and that’s it’s your general view.
Why separate these two elements of your view? Why would you, in the initial sentence, make an absolute claim about videogames and gaming, and then make an addendum in the second stating how it’s your general view and you accept some exceptions actually exist? That’s all I’m saying CAM, nothing particularly mindblowing here, just combine the two statements! Take away the second, and add words like ‘generally’ and ‘for many people’ to the first!
The contradictions that I have pointed out resulted precisely because of this separation, or splitting, of your overall view, where the first element misrepresents your overall view, then to several people you state the first bit without saying the second bit, and to several others you state both.
It’s a question of semantics really, the consolidation of both statements in one overall statement as per something along the lines of my suggestion would avoid a lot of confusion. If you’re offering an opinion on a specific case, perhaps saying something like ‘in your case’ or ‘the way you’ve incorporated video games in your life’ in order to distinguish between your overall opinion and the use of video games in a specific case would save both me, the person(s) in question, and anyone else inclined to read that post(s) a lot of confusion.
Perhaps one final point – I’ve said this before, but people need to relax. I’m not saying hours everyday, but at some point everyone needs to relax for various psychological reasons (rest of the body SOLELY due to previous physical exertion is not what I’m about here, though physical rest may be a supplementary reason for the relaxation in this case), such as stress relief. As such, any recreational activity here is inherently as productive as the other (with some considerations, such as convenience, social interaction and exercise you may or may not do, which is obviously a bad thing to do when physically tired, hence why I mentioned it), because they’re all being used to achieve the same thing via entertainment. Arguments as to exactly how fulfilling or productive games are outside such a context, therefore, are irrelevant in such a case.
@ AK – Haven’t read your most recent post (yet), but I did manage to find your comment (and a few others that were awaiting moderation.)
Well I was right it seems, my comment is still awaiting moderation. In case there’s something wrong there (because it’s been a while and comments that were written after have successfully went through moderation), I’ll post it again:
@Derek (and a little bit to you CAM, as some bits may also interest you, particularly the last bits)
I’m sorry, but there are several quotations that I have compared side-by-side which show contradictions in CAM’s arguments/statements, and you have dismissed my comparisons out of hand without actually pointing out flaws in my reasoning. I’ve also stated that I understand the CAM doesn’t have the time to providence citations, research, and so on (though he has made very valid points with several facts – an argument without facts? Perish the thought), and have also stated multiple times across several posts that I appreciate that CAM targets a specific audience with this blog which you so aptly describe, and merely want him to present a consistent point of view throughout all of his posts.
You’re also misinterpreted, misrepresented and generally strawmanned my arguments:
“He is arguing for no video games, his argument is abstinence (you know, the safest sex is no sex?) He is telling people that the most efficient way of limiting video game playing time is to remove it completely! Why do you have a problem with that?” I am happy for him to suggest abstinence to those who are currently addicted to video games, and agree that it is the best solution in such cases, my problem is not with this but rather his claim that “video games are a waste of time”, which I am attempting to challenge, and also the fact that quotes like these: “I also don’t disagree that video games have benefits.” and “I’m not here to say YOU shouldn’t play video games, since you are capable of playing in balance and moderation and they help you out.” clearly contradict that statement, hence my asking for clarification.
““That anything that happens on a virtual medium is inherently a waste of time? I would very much like to know.” Are you honestly trying to argue that playing mgs4 is more enriching than reading a politics book and attending a discussion panel on it?” This is a pretty strong example of a straw man – I never even implied that mgs4 is is anywhere near as intellectually enriching as reading a politics book or attending a discussion panel on it, I merely used it as an example to illustrate that games are not necessarily purely entertainment all the time, and that games are not a complete, as claimed by CAM, a waste of time. You don’t need to encourage me to read books, I love books and I do medicine of all subjects – I do plenty of reading 🙂 .
I also fail to see how playing a sport with your physical body is necessarily better or more worthwhile than playing video games. You state this “Your muscle building and team interaction is worth more than mastering the trick stick and playing online opponents.” I would agree with that specific case, but what if you’re playing a competitive multiplayer game with teammates online who you know in real life? Isn’t there some team interaction there? Or even better, having friends over, and playing side-by-side versus others? Being strong, of course, is never a bad thing (though I wonder if you’d ever suggest muscle building to any girl/woman, because if not that argument would ring a little shallow), and playing sports promote good health for obvious reasons, but assuming that the gamers in my example situations do do a healthy amount sport and/or exercise in order to keep their fitness up, then I fail to see the distinction – in both cases one is playing a game with an arbitrary set of rules in the sense that there is no deeper meaning e.g. no helping humanity, no pursuit of higher knowledge, and sports improve your physical and/or mental fitness (as per games like chess, according the closest to an international agreement on a definition of sport provided by SportAccord, according to Wikipedia), whereas games can improve things like manual dexterity and hand-eye coordination and mental fitness in a different way (the extremely deep intelligence and understanding required for a sport like chess is completely different and cannot compare to the adaptive intelligence and quick-thinking required for a rts game like Starcraft (or, now that I think about it, blitz chess), as well as the manual dexterity required for microing).
“for people who want to live life to the fullest, there is not enough time in a 24 hour day for video games” People need to unwind, if not every day, then at least once in a while. There is only so much your body and mind can take, and unwinding helps with stress, taking stock of what you’re learned e.g. when revising (which I’m doing now), and so on. Video games are a perfectly reasonable outlet in such cases, and I see no reason why it should be considered any worse than any other outlet in such a situation. Video games, in such a case, aren’t a waste of time, because there are tangible and logical physiological and/or psychological benefits to taking a break (depending on what you’re taking a break from), and my argument is not and never has been that video games are a superior form of activity, or that one should spend all their time gaming, merely that it is an acceptable outlet, can teach you things, and is an acceptable art form like any other (such as films, books, and traditional art).
“You know what, if you are offended tough shit man. ” I am not offended at your differing point of view, and am only disappointed at the fact that you’ve not actually properly addressed and countered my arguments, have been unnecessarily accusatory, and treated me almost with disdain. My posts with CAM have been extremely civilized – look at my last post: notice my use of emoticons and dramatization to lighten up my posts (I tend to write very long posts, so it makes it easier for him to read through it, and it’s one of the ways I use to show that I don’t resent him, hate him, think he’s irrational, stupid, and so on (besides, you know, how the post a whole is in no way accusatory or insulting as far as I can tell), and so there is no need for you to come to his defence. I have no problem with him as a human being, merely am questioning and challenging some of what he’s saying, whilst also acknowledging the validity of a lot of what he’s saying: “given the rest of your very valid points and arguments”.
“Video games ARE a waste of time and any gamer paid or unpaid knows that hours spent gaming are hours missing out on great social and business enterprises.” The most obvious point to make here is that games and social interaction are not mutually exclusive by any means – my friends and I have often played football for several hours, tired our bodies, then gone to one of our homes and socialised through gaming. As for business enterprises, are you saying they are never a waste of time? Take a stockbroker, for example – buying and selling share for the sole purpose of making money. Where is the intellectual, physical, emotional, or other form of development there? Where is the ‘deeper meaning’ of such a job – helping humanity or furthering human knowledge? You may well argue the money earnt may be put to further cause relevant to either or both of those objectives, but then so can money earnt by gaming, or any other means, and there would be no difference (except if the method of acquiring money is obviously immoral and unethical). As for an unpaid gamer – well I’ve already talked about that.
Just to finish off here, let me talk about competitive sprinters as an example. There is no question that a lot of hard wark is required to become in tip-top physical shape and the develop a proper sprinting technique, and various psychological factors come into play as well, determination, unwillingness to give up, the drive to be the best, and so on. All this, of course, is to be the best sprinter possible. But what does that achieve? Once one has become the best, what have they achieved that isn’t completely arbitrary, whose value is defined based on the rules and regulations we (humans in general) set (see this article http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15265161.2012.681337)? The hard work and talent of each competitive sprinter serve to provide the ultimate goal of entertainment via competition – but does an activity for entertainment automatically equal a waste of time? No, as I’ve already explained previously, and in this example the sprinter has improved their physical fitness to the extreme, psychologically developed in multiple ways, and has excelled and pushed the boundaries of human capabilities, no matter that the sport itself is arbitrary. Video games are similarly arbitrary in that you cannot benefit humanity, further human knowledge etc. by playing them, and whose value is defined based on the rules and regulations we set in terms of how to win and so on. That doesn’t preclude you learning anything from them, developing psychologically in a similar way to the above example (competitive e-sports), developing mentally e.g. your adaptive intelligence, improving your hand-eye coordination, manual dexterity, socialising whilst playing them, and so on.
And finally, a couple of links that I would encourge you to watch:
http://www.ted.com/talks/daphne_bavelier_your_brain_on_video_games.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/jane_mcgonigal_gaming_can_make_a_better_world.html
I hope that we can have an intelligent discussion, and I hope you have a nice day 🙂 .
Oops, didn’t see your latest comment, sorry for repost.
I think everything wrote was actually very logical.
But, think on this, what if you composed a catchier post title?
I mean, I don’t want to tell you how to run your website, however suppose you added something that grabbed a person’s attention?
I mean How to Quit Playing Video Games FOREVER is kinda plain.
You might glance at Yahoo’s home page and watch how they write news headlines to get viewers interested. You might add a video or a picture or two to grab readers interested about everything’ve got to say.
In my opinion, it might make your posts a little bit more interesting.
Thanks for your feedback Abbie. For this particular post the reason for the title is because that’s what people type into google, so it’s easiest for them to find it. Hope you have a great day!
First and foremost, I respect your opinion and admit that quitting ANY addiction (video gaming, smoking, drugs, alcohol, whatever) is quite an accomplishment. However, I wish to offer a different, personal view on video gaming that may clash with your views. Sure, becoming addicted to anything may cause some major problems, however, I firmly believe self-moderation can help keep potential addictions in check. For example, despite college, assorted chores, and other pastimes like drawing, I also enjoy video games. However, when it’s time to focus on tasks like studying, drawing, or working on a class project, I choose to put my gaming sessions on hold in favor of completing those other tasks. Whenever I DO play video games, I choose to play them at times that won’t interfere with other activities. I also choose appropriate times to end my gaming sessions for the day. This self-moderation has been a big help in keeping my life balanced. This enables me to enjoy my pastimes (art and video gaming) AND other activities while keeping addictions at bay. All it takes is self control to prevent an addiction from controlling you.
Aside from video gaming in self-moderation, I have two other personal aspects linked with that medium. In one aspect, games have served as an inspiration art medium. Sure, video games may be a mere hobby to some and “the absolute evil” to others (certain parents, politicians, and media), but for me it helped influenced me artistically. Drawing and video gaming have been important parts of my life for several years now. The games I played (mainly action-adventure games, platformers, and RPGs) motivated me to create my own characters with their own worlds and stories. Some of my favorite games featured artwork from artists like Akira Toriyama (Dragon Ball, Dragon Quest, Chrono Trigger) and Yoshitaka Amano (Final Fantasy, Gatchaman, Sandman). I feel their art goes a long way in establishing an artistic mood for those games’ universes. Despite their game art, both artists also produced non-gaming artwork and serve as artistic influences. My desire to create worlds and characters like those artists led to me enrolling into an art school and pursuing the field of illustration. As weird as it may sound to some, video gaming actually helped me in unexpected ways.
Another personal aspect would be viewing video gaming as interactive narratives. One thing most people neglect to mention is gaming’s potential for storytelling. Sure, actual books exist, but one thing I noticed is my distaste for most publications. I feel a strong video game narrative can rival a solid piece of literature. Video games aren’t always about level grinding, getting that high score, winning, catching them all, or bragging about that last head shot. Some games try their best to deliver a solid narrative along with its gameplay. Granted, some games have cheesy cliched stories and some game narratives interfere with the gameplay too often. However, with the right balance of story and gameplay, I personally view some aspects of video gaming as playable literature.
Sure, I admit I’m not perfect and a “social scout of the year” candidate. I hate going out because I’m not interested in movies, sporting events, sightseeing, and restaurants. I despise malls because they often attract people who have nothing better to do with their (much like the ‘addicted’ gamers you refer to in your article). And to be perfectly honest, keeping myself company is certainly better than dealing with annoyances from other people. Does all this mean I’m antisocial? Absolutely not. These are merely my personal preferences that involve choices that govern the way I live my life. I can choose to interact when people giving the right circumstances such as meaningful discussions that interests me. I can choose to be as helpful to others as possible. And I can choose an appropriate time for video gaming and other tasks when the need arises. In closing, its my life and if I choose to balance my lifestyle activities with my love for video gaming and pursue my dreams then so be it.
Don’t quit playing them completely, just limit your time.
Spend more time studying.
Go exercise.
Eat healthier and drink more water.
Go to a friends house, or to the mall.
Play board games instead.
I stopped reading this article after seeing these suggestions. Thanks for the tips that someone else provided
I broke out of videogame addiction* spontaneously, I still play every now and then but it’s not habitual at all and I feel literally sick after I play them for a while (not consecutively, but if I play videogames every day for 4 days after that I’m super sick of it).
I think what might have helped was focusing a lot of energy on more productive interests, cultivating taste in general (that makes you realize that many games are simply crap even as a mere past time).
Sometimes I read of people that just play a game after the next, like a smoking addict chain smokes, it makes me physically ill just to think about it.
LT: only a very immature individual would consider videogames for their potential in story telling. A reasonable videogame has focus on explosions, fun, and a challenging gameplay. That’s the best they can offer and just trying to rival or substitute movies and novels is a stupid idea in my opinion, many commenters who believe in the “potential of story telling” of games are people with no real culture and taste who think stuff like planescape torment or final fantasy offer deep, compelling narratives
Steven: I respect your opinion and all, but comments like “only a very immature individual would consider videogames for their potential in story telling” and “who believe in the “potential of story telling” of games are people with no real culture and taste” are about as tasteless as labeling mainstream audiences as mindless sheep. I originally posted here to voice my opinion while being respectful towards the views of others, not to berate others.
@STEVEN (CAM, or anyone else, as always, feel free to say your opinion on this)
Last time I checked many mainstream movies also focused on explosions and fun, and last time I checked many mainstream books also have awful plots (I’m looking at you, the Twilight saga) – and this is coming from someone who enjoys both of the above art forms – though I tend to find books more compelling and deep, though that may be the fact that I watch the popular hollywood movies with friends as a social experience, and haven’t really been exposed to many (though not all) of the movies out there with more artistic merit, better story etc.
Your criticism of games is problematic on several accounts – you focus on the nature of many of the most popular games: “A reasonable videogame has focus on explosions, fun, and a challenging gameplay” (although I would certainly question whether the most popular games today are challenging) which is not necessarily representative of the whole medium – games like Journey (no killing, no explosions, and I didn’t think was that challenging), and Shadow of the Colossus (bringing down each Colossi is presented as different puzzles for each, and the focus is taken away from the actual killing/destruction of the colossus, and no explosions, the challenge depends on the difficulty) are certainly not like that – and neither of these have exactly been unpopular.
You also fail to take into account the fact that the medium as a whole is young, and so by nature that means there is more exploration and room of improvement to be found in the medium, and making an absolute judgment of it and not allowing for this fact is wrong.
Finally, and perhaps the most important point, there is no logical reason why gaming as a medium should be inherently worse than movies or books (which are the example you use). Each are capable of presenting a story in different ways: one by the written word, one via visuals, audio and spoken word, and one via visuals, audio, and spoken word with which you can interact. Of course there is a challenge presented by properly combining the interaction i.e. gameplay with the visuals, audio and spoken word i.e. setting and story, and meeting an appropriate balance between the two, but there’s nothing at all to say it’s an impossible challenge.
I am happy to accept a comment along the lines of something like this: ‘Most/many video games today cannot match movies and books in terms of compelling storytelling and plot’, which I would think is a fair viewpoint and not even one I’d necessarily disagree with! HOWEVER…
The fact is, though, there are several/many exceptions and no argument exists that can criticise the medium from a potential or capability standpoint, because the potential or capability of any such medium is defined by the capabilities of us – humans – our ability, using our intelligence, creativity and imagination, to form a coherent, compelling, deep etc. plot, and the metaphorical canvas which which we use to illustrate this plot, whether it be the the sheet of paper (electronic or otherwise) on which we write a book – or even a poem – the various apparatus used to record (and even create e.g. with CGI) the various aspects of a film, the various apparatus used to create (and record e.g. with music) the various aspects of a game, or indeed other mediums is not relevant in the judgment of whether the book/film/game/whatever else is actually GOOD or not. Of course each medium has its own unique elements that change the way in which the story is presented, but that NEVER means that you can judge ANY example of ANY medium as bad based on the medium alone – and thus is my main point.
This article was a real life changer for me! Everyone who has realized that video games can crush a happy existence should really read this article and apply the principles learned here. They really do work! Cam really seemed to be almost reading my mind, I loved it!
Stop wasting your time playing video games, time is the most valuable commonidty, don’t throw it and your life away for some fantasy world!
@ LT – Thanks for commenting. I certainly do not disagree that self-moderation can keep potential addictions in check, however I would challenge you to consider whether certain individuals (ie: personality types) can have the capacity to self-moderate. I do not mean to imply that these individuals do not have the capacity to do it – at some point – however the process to get to that point is an important journey to consider. As an example, many alcoholics need to go to rehab – some multiple times – before they can truly get to a point of epiphany where they begin to self-moderate. Of course it’s best if they were able to catch the addiction prior to such an intense point, but for many the process will have to get to that point before they can truly come back full circle. I believe video game addiction (as other addictions) follows a similar cycle. A main point of this article is not to suggest that people don’t have that capacity, but to help those who HAVE tried self-moderation and have failed. It’s also important to note that the article intends to focus less on “quit video games they’re bad for you” and more accurately to educate on WHY they are so addicted. The main point of the article is to educate on the various pillars that maintain a hold on these individuals, of which can enter into self-moderation once they replace these pillars with other activities.
In your specific case, you are able to understand the difference between when it’s appropriate to play games and when it’s not, however one of the main obstacles for many of the people who are addicted is this exact problem. It’s not that they aren’t aware of when they should/should not play, it’s that they still choose to play. It’s not because they don’t understand the importance of other priorities. It’s not that they don’t have a desire to do these other activities. Like an alcoholic, it’s not that they just simply want to drink and don’t understand the negative implications, it’s that their reaction is still to drink. Drinking to many addicts is a source of self-sabotage, a desire for numbness, etc. For the video game addict, it’s their natural reaction to being BORED. So when they go to study, or do their chores and they feel bored, they stop doing those activities and go play games instead.
I certainly appreciate the rest of your points and do understand some of the more indirect benefits of video games (story-telling, art, etc). I’m happy that you are able to be a positive role model to those who wish to continue playing games but in moderation. For me it’s merely trying to identify the best process to get there, and this article is what worked for me, and I believe is one of the most effective methods to getting back to that point. I appreciate your input!
@ Joe – Thanks for your comment. I believe you misread the article, because the things you mentioned are the inspiration for writing this article, because they are terrible suggestions. Consider giving the article a more thorough look-over.
@ Steven – Thanks for commenting. Cultivating taste is certainly an effective approach. I believe one of the best ways to move past video games is to be able to identify the benefits of other activities.
@ AK – As always, happy to see your input. 🙂
@ Adam – Thanks for your comment. (I also received your email and will respond shortly.) I’m glad the article was able to help you in some way!
What if you really love someone that I can say is way beond what you even say,that won’t take time to shower or eat? I have been with with this person for almost 4 yrs. we were going to get married,but I can’t live like this or teach my kids better if this is all the see. And its more than just playing for 18,20,24,36…It’s he likes the ones he can dress his girls up as they fight dragons and all that shit. He can make them blonde,big tittied,half dressed. He is 34 and don’t want to work,or do any thing with his life but set on his ass and play the damn xbox. And tell my kids it how he keeps from going crazy. I have heard every excuse known to man on why. And now it is so bad that sex has stop because his girls turn him on more. I don’t think there is any hope for him!!!! I was going to ask how to help someone like that,but as I type this and think I have tried for 4 yrs to help someone that does not want help. I don’t even have the same feelings for him anymore. so I know im my heart what I must do! You can only help someone that wants help. So sorry to have wasted your time,but I loved him for 4 yrs. and after reading as I type, I see I must move on for the sake of my kids. Thank you for posting this.
@ Shell – Sometimes typing it out is the best way to realize what your heart wants. I truly believe it’s very difficult… if not impossible to help someone who is not ready to be helped. They must come to that conclusion on their own. You can only encourage them and be a positive role model for the change you wish them to make. The only thing I encourage you to do is to listen to your heart and have the strength and courage to follow it. Remember to live in abundance and love instead of fear. These are important lessons I have learned this year.
NICE ARTICLE.
THIS THING HELPED ME A LOT TO GET RID OF VIDEO GAMES LIKE CS 1.6
NOW I WILL START TO ENJOY MY NEW LIFE
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
Thanks Cam for writing this article, i am a game addict myself and have many unsuccessful attempts at quitting games by uninstall/install games such as dota and diablo. this article have thoroughly analysed the problem and provided some real solution to so solve this issue at a fundamental level, I cant thank you enough for guiding the way out for people that want to selfimprove.
Keep up the good work.
Well , after reading this article i feel like i have to share my story of addiciton to video games .
I’m 18 years old now and i’ve been addicted to competitive fps games for like 3 or 4 years , it all began when i moved to the high school , i had like only few friends there
and they weren’t like a real close friends , new teachers new people and everything new and obviously that pressed me out in the beggining .
I always used to be a dedicated student and i had high grades in every subject always
since i was a little kid .
Moving to the high school had just killed me , the Math subject was really hard for me
and i felt disapponited from my self for getting bad grades , in other subjects i was totally fine but for some reason the Mathematics had just killed me , i got into this situation where i just wanted to drop out of the school maybe because i was taking school and exams as a “competition” the higher grades you get the better you are compared to your class-mates.
With all that stress in the first few months in the high school , Once i was working in a hard physical work and i got injured and i had to take a break for like 2 weeks ,
and thus i was just totally lost in studies-wise .
I got really low grades in another one subject or two and then i just decided not to
keep in the “higer-tier class” and to move to the mediocre class , there it was so much easier for me .
Ok , now let’s get back to my gaming addiciton , a class-mate of mine had just presnted to me a fps game “Call of Duty” and since then i began playing it multiplayer
with friends from school , and then i took it a little more serious and moved to a newer “Call of Duty ” and there i met new “online freinds” and began playing the game in a competitve level , by the time i became a “pro” and i was enjoying every moment i played that game .
When i was thinking about why i’m addicted to this fps game , i always knew because i found it an easy way to escape from that stress from the new school (highschool) .
Today after like 4 years playing this game i feel like i have wasted 4 years doing nothing , i’ve not earned any social skills though i was always kinda shy since a child
, i’ve lost contact with my “old” friends and even relatives .
I’m suffering from some mental fatigue i think it’s caused by the lack of sleep thanks
to my addiction to games ( playing fps games till 24:00 and getting up to school in 6:00 am ) , i’ve a bachelors degree but it’s nothing compared to the degree that i could of get if i keept studying in the “high-teir class” that i was in it in the beggining .
I’ve finished high school the last year in 2012 , and since then i’ve not done anything expect working few days and sitting home months and months …
I feel like i need a serious help or psychological therapy to get out of this “bubble”
where i think i’m totally lost .
Well that’s it for now i may update you with what going with me in the near future
but at this moment i think i’ve wrote enough information about my addiction.
I would really like to hear some opinions or even advices to what do in my case, that would be much appreciated .
and sorry for my bad english .
@ Kishan – Thanks for commenting! Best of luck on your journey!
@ Charlie – Thanks for commenting! Anytime you are feeling like you want to go back to games, come back and read this article again. Remember to focus on the reasons WHY you play games, and the reasons WHY you want to quit and have something better. If you have purpose it’s easy to overcome!
@ Lungu – Thanks for commenting! GOod luck on having the courage to admit you need to quit! Something I think is really important to remember is to not regret your time playing. You had a blast playing, but now you want something else for your life so you are going to move forward without games. You don’t need to regret the time you played, just remind yourself that what you want now is different than what you wanted then! I would recommend going through the rest of the comments on this post because it has a ton of awesome ideas for other activities you can join! Things like learning a new language, martial arts, exercise, etc. It’s time to put in the work to find new hobbies! You can do it! I’m proud of you for commenting, thank you!
Hello ,
I’m Emre from Turkey , and I started to change my whole lifestyle this year. This includes sports (doing fitness everyday) , social activity and studying. I hope this will help me get rid of one of my biggest problems : PC games. Being understood the psychology of gaming , I’m going to delete the last piece of badboy out of my life. Thank you very much for this article.
Cheers!
@ Emre – Thanks for your comment! You can do it! Sounds like you already have many of the key pieces in place!
Hey everyone, just wanted to share something with anyone interested:
http://www.gamessavedmylife.com
I think it provides a nice counterpart to some of the stories and problems on this blog, so I thought it would be good to share it here.
@ AK – I’ll check it out. 🙂
great article this is what all #1 search results should look like on google. peace
Hello,
I don’t often comment on articles found on the web, but I really feel I have to do it here. I googled this article while playing an online game (COD – waiting for respawn and using the in-game browser ofc – that’s the funny part) because I had again that devastating feeling that I should really be doing something else and can’t force myself to hit the quit button. This awesome article really proofs what I already knew but didn’t want to admit! And that is going cold turkey. Surely not everybody is same and somebody can manage his addictions better but I 100% agree with author of this arcticle, this exactly reflects my thoughts.
I decided to quit today.. again… but this time no more “just a hour a day” and “drink more watter” crap, but completly, giving myself 2 months “trial time” to proof myself I can doit and then I will think again (I would like to be able to play at least a bit of singleplayer games in the future maybe, because I love them and consider some titles as real art and stuff but I will see when I get to that point). I know it’s going to be extremly hard and I need to reconsider my life priorities and mainly fix the important things in my life.
Anyways thanks Cam for this, the whole page seems also very intersting so I will check it out some more in the near future.
@ Vlad – Thanks for your compliments!
@ Petr – Thanks for commenting! I’m really glad you found value in the post. It really means a lot to me to help others with this problem. Remember: if you think it’s going to be extremely hard it will be, but it doesn’t have to be extremely hard. Get excited about this new chapter in your life!!! There’s so much unknown now, and that can be a lot of FUN! You can do it, I believe in you. Good luck!
Hi I just started right now from the beginning. It is cca for the 10th time (maybe more) I quit gamming and after some time went back. Its ridiculous how can I quit fast, delete all the crap and hold for 1-2 weeks. My focus on doing things that worth is better, I can even concentrate on study. But after some time when everything start to be good (better grades, new interests, new ideas) I just realise I feel good and install the LoL again to support my actual feelings. I don’t know why, but I just connected being happy with games. Maybe there is a connection to my childhood when games gave me some hapiness or support to overcome bad mood. But i feel now that this is the mistake. Because when I start to play games and I am not satisfied when I lose – that leads me to play new game till I win. After some wasted time I feel bad again, with no life focus and not completed tasks which I wrote down the day ago. I feel I need persistance. I will try to make special list called “days without games” to break this “habbit”. Every day I will make a mark in this list for the “gameless” day. I hope it will help, because you see the progress and you want not to give up when you hold like 10+ days. I read somewhere that when you can persist cca 30 days, you LOSE your habbit or temptation as you wrote in this amazing article. And yes, you are right. I have to find some activity which is worth and has the important social element (haha multiplayer is the curse right) . And I will write my progress in this activity too, but to MAKE a habbit. Sorry for my english, I hope you will get the main point. This can be an advice for someone, but for me it is like a public PROOF OF MY FINAL DECISION. If you know what I mean. Now theres no way back.
This is the second time that I’ve read this article, and still it hasn’t lost the ability to inspire me. I’m actually surprised that it’s still just as active as I found it the first time, but it’s really good to see that you’re so devoted to helping others the way you helped yourself. I won’t lie, I caved the first time that I set out to quit cold turkey. Instead of getting down on myself for giving up so easily, though, I’ve managed to see it as more of a “checkpoint”, and see how long I managed to stay video-game free. This time around though, Cam, props to you for setting another kid on the right path, and and teaching me stay the hell away from video games.
A lot of the things that you wrote about in your post were basically identical to a lot of the thoughts I’ve had recently, most specifically when you started to work on your social skills. This is an area that I’ve desperately been needing a revamp in, could you link me to some of the resources that you used as a reference? I know that improving your social skills isn’t something that’s going to happen from reading a couple articles, I’m really just looking to see what you did, because it obviously helped you immensely. I’ve honestly become inspired to do the same.
Thanks again Cam, keep doing what you’re doing.
@ Enko – Thanks for your comment! Do you have an iPhone? If you do, download “Lift” app. It’s an app that helps track habits and is incredibly useful! It’s helped me maintain good habits for all of 2013! They will have a desktop version soon, but another good resource is: http://chains.cc
Your english is great. Good job! I’m very excited to hear how your journey goes. Please keep me updated!
@ Steve – Thank you for coming back and letting me know you are still enjoying the article. Eventually I will finish writing my follow-up ebook on this topic, but for some reason I seem unable to complete it. It’s about half written. I’m so happy the post is still active, because it means people are still finding value in it – which means the world to me! I’m also happy to hear you weren’t too hard on yourself when you caved. This is really important! It’s not useful to get down on yourself about it, just important to identify why it happened and to remind yourself why it’s purposeful in your life to maintain your life without gaming. Remember all the positives it brings to your life!
As for improving your social skills… there’s a ton of awesome articles on this site that will help you with that. You can also email me and I’d be happy to help more specifically (if you haven’t emailed me already!) I would recommend implementing two fundamental mindsets into your daily life:
1. The goal of each interaction is to make someone’s day. If you can make them smile this is a good indicator of success. The thing is, you interact with SO MANY PEOPLE each and every day – at the grocery store, the barista at Starbucks, your parents, your friends, your teachers, classmates and coworkers. Take advantage of these interactions!
2. Push each interaction 20%. This means that if your interaction went like this:
Barista: How may I help you?
You: I’d like a coffee please.
Barista: That will be $2.
You: *pays*
You: So, how’s your day going?
Barista: I’m good, you?
You: Good thanks.
— The mission would be to push this 20 more percent. You could ask if they have any big plans for the week, or something along those lines. Just anything that pushes the interaction A BIT more. This will help you practice extending the conversation. But remember, if you can do this in each interaction, as you improve you want to continue pushing the interactions 20 more percent.
Good luck and again, email me if you want to continue talking about this!
I dunno if this has been covered in comments before but honestly I’m too lazy to read every single one to find out.
I’m having a really hard time managing my gaming because every time I think about packing it in I am always drawn back because I have quite a few uncompleted games in my steam list.
I don’t even find myself playing them much because I play a lot of multiplayer / co-op games with my friends (to excess i suppose). However, because I have those games sitting there uncompleted I feel like I can’t quit just yet. It would be a waste of money if I didn’t play them, right? Thoughts?
@Wilko
I think that the value of a game and the gaming experience, like value to anyone, is relative to the individual. If you’re a completionist who needs 100% achievement on every title, and you have the time to manage your gaming, go for it. It really depends (at least to me) on how serious you are about quitting, and how big of a priority it is to you. Like Cam said, you need to make a 110% commitment to quitting, and if that means wasting a few bucks (or even a few hundred), then so be it.
Personally, I’ve bought games before, just to give them away the day after. “Wasting” the game didn’t really bother me, because I knew that kicking the habit would reward me in more ways than I would have been if I hadn’t trashed the game.
@ Wilko – What Steven said was bang on (Thanks Steven for the hand!) Ultimately I think something worth considering is: a) How important are the couple of dollars you’d lose and is it really that important? b) What’s the motivating force behind your “need” to complete the games? Is it to save money? Is it to keep 1 foot in 1 foot out? Is it an ego thing?
Now, none of these answers need to be better or worse. We do not need to take a judgmental approach to them. I just think taking the time to discover them can be hugely beneficial. Increasing your awareness around these answers can lead you to make better decisions for you – whatever you decide that may be.
Thanks for the replies. I probably wouldn’t mind leaving those games incomplete if I could manage to introduce something else into my free time which completely replaces the “fix” I get from playing games. You know the feeling – coming home from work and just wanting to unwind – “OK great I’ll play some games for a bit.” Then it turns into all evening playing games and not making the effort to make a healthy meal or practice violin.
It’s kinda like games and my computer in general are my safety zone – I go there when I am lazy, when I am unhappy/depressed, and when I’m trying to escape from doing work or some responsibility. The difficult thing is finding something which can help in the same way, or finding some way to overcome those feelings without resorting to something that will waste time.
It’s interesting that you mention raising awareness. Have you heard about the Alexander Technique? I have been having some lessons in that – it’s a fairly subtle method in which you attempt to remove bad habits (e.g. bad tension when doing a certain activity) and “use” your whole self in the right way. The main idea is to try and raise awareness of what you’re doing, so you can stop bad habits. From what I’ve read, the Alexander Technique extends to the mind too because you can’t treat the body and mind separately. It seems very similar to what you’re talking about. Any thoughts about that?
I am quite fortunate when it came to gaming. I use to skate long before I started gaming, so I was always into extreme sports. I still do play online, but when I’m offered a chance to do some extreme sport (currently motocross) I take that opportunity over gaming anytime. So this is the only thing I can add – if you are looking for a “fix”, and you’re into some sort of extreme sport, invest in a skateboard, surfboard, motocross bike or even a mountain bike and go do it! Nothing competes with landing a kick-ass smooth 360-flip off of stairs or a huge hang time on a motocross bike… *note, I do still play online, but not at a serious level anymore. I’ve realized how competitive I got when playing, so I’ve relaxed that… I only play for about 2-4hours a week. The rest of the time I chill with mates, have a braai (South Afican slang for Barbecue) and go ride motorbike
@ Wilko – Exactly. You’re totally right. It’s not the games you’re worried about, it’s what you’re going to do instead. I haven’t heard about it but I’ll definitely check it out. I’ve worked on building habits intensely over the past 6 months, and I’ve learned a lot about it. I’ve heard reading “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg is a very enlightening read.
Something else I’d like to share is a story for understanding motivating, and where it comes from.
Imagine you have to cross the dessert while carrying a 40 pound bag. How motivated would you be?
Now what if that 40 pound bag was your son… and he was sick. How motivated would you be?
The difference in motivation between these 2 scenarios is substantial, and that’s the power of PURPOSE. The first scenario you have no purpose, and no motivation. The second, your son is sick, you have purpose, and voila, motivation!
Motivation comes from purpose.
So when you get home and want to just play video games, not work on violin, or eat a healthy meal, there’s an element of a purpose issue here. It may not be the total issue, as I imagine there’s an underlying self-esteem issue as well, but purpose is the solution to the motivation side of things.
Why do you want to quit games? What’s the purpose?
@ Barend – Thanks for commenting! Great suggestion. I bet the physical activity side of it helps a lot too! I think one of the big keys to being able to move on past games is being able to internalize that experiences which happen in-person can be much more fulfilling than those that happen through a computer screen.
Also, I want to state clearly that I do not mean to imply that experiences which happen online are not valuable (or fulfilling), only that I believe one element that holds people back from being able to spend more time “in-person” is there perspective on how much fun they can have online vs. offline. It’s not that you can’t have fun online, it’s that you can also have fun offline, potentially even more fun!
Oh no I didn’t mean it like that. All I wanted to say was – if people out there still can’t stop playing online competitively, even though they want to, they can try implement a balance between physical activities and playing. And like you said, they will find that the actual “in-person” experience is much better, therefore they won’t consider gaming to be as fulfilling anymore, making it much easier to stop altogether.
@ Barend – Sorry for the confusion. The reason I mentioned that second part wasn’t directed at you, but I’ve had that type of debate a few times in the comments and just wanted to make sure I was clear on that stance. I definitely loved all of your suggestions!
Yeah I guess motivation is a bit lacking really. Definitely the purpose is necessary otherwise I’m not gonna achieve anything. I know that I want an athletic body, so eating right has to be done. I know that I want to perform this difficult piece in the future so I have to practice.
I think it’s the fact that these goals/purposes are maybe too vague and there isn’t any real consequence in the short/medium term; and I can’t lie to myself – I know nothing bad will happen if I slack. Hence it seems that motivation for these things is pretty low sometimes. Maybe I should build in some kind of consequences to my life if I don’t start achieving my goals?
I would highly recommend taking some lessons in the Alexander Technique. I realise you probably have a very busy life but seriously if you have time it’s a great way to improve quality of life.
Thanks so much, by the way, for continuing to attend to the comments here. It’s been really interesting and a big help.
I lost my motivation after a whole month. That month was probably the happiest time of my life. Now I am struggling to maintain my platinum/diamond ladder on starcraft 2, I just need to be the best…. I need help…
I lost my motivation to play videogames after a whole month, after reading this. That month was probably the happiest time of my life. Now I am struggling to maintain my platinum/diamond ladder on starcraft 2, I just need to be the best…. I need help…
@ Wilko – Consequences can definitely help. I would explore why you are “ok” with the notion that nothing bad would happen if you slack off. Although you are correct, what kind of values do you have and what standard of life do you hold yourself to? Is it one where you settle for a life you don’t truly want? Where instead of pursuing goals that challenge you, you withdraw and remain content anyways?
Now, what would be the underlying reason these types of thoughts are allowed. Are you into reading? If you are, check out 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
@ Jasper – Thanks for commenting! That’s ok! Don’t be hard on yourself. Have you thought about why you went back? Is it your motivation to “be the best”? Why do you have to be the best in games? Is that the easiest VALIDATION source for you? What other activities did you start trying? Did you get bored with them? Did you not feel that same level of challenge you get from games?
You’re pretty spot on with the questions even though they’re quite general. I am content in a way to live like I am, but I know I would like to do something different and more challenging such as travelling. I was planning for months to go to the Canary Islands with a couple friends, but for various reasons they bailed and now I’m pretty bummed out and don’t know what to do with myself. Now, I could go travelling alone and it would be a great life experience but that is a huge step for me…
@ Wilko – Yes, the questions are definitely general. I’ve found a lot of value in diving into them and seeing what I discover!
Do you think travelling alone and taking that leap would have a very positive affect to your life? I bet it would! You should do it. Especially because it probably scares you!
Hey CAM,
how’s it going? I’m glad to say I am free from games for around a year… with the help of lack of hardware! 😀
I have been reading books ‘self-confidence’ Paul McGee and ‘finding your element’ ken robinson-important figure in the importance of creativity and the lack of it in the education system [TEDTalks]…
they are quite good in changing focus on a better life.
i totally agree with you.. i personally don’t regret playing games, i had a blast while it lasted. there have been constantly new development in videogames, that i try to avoid knowing about, don’t go inside shops, don’t go on gaming websites etc. I do occasionally place arcade games, insert-a-coin thing…it works in a way.
i have set goals to call schools and teach them dodgeball and tennis (primary schools)[without asking for money]…and hence i needed to change my diet and exercise routine…after a lazy year. (I lost interest in being a primary school teacher but gained more in helping kids in a different way) what’s your thoughts?
@ PTT – Thanks for commenting! I’ve certainly thought about you lately. Congrats on hitting your year-mark as well! That’s a HUGE accomplishment. Bet it feels great.
I completely agree about supplementing your learning by reading those types of books and TED talks. I’m actually going to be my first TED event next weekend and I’m super excited about it!
I think that’s a great pursuit to have! Getting in shape will help your mood and quality of life tremendously. I recommend resources like http://marksdailyapple.com
Wow! To an incredible extent this became my new addiction. I’ve read more than half the comments on here and really got valuable insight about life in general plus it helped me understand why i need to quit gaming. I at this moment in life where i need the most of my free time being occupied with beneficial activities such as sports, healthy diet , a lot of help in my household etc. Cam, you are an awesome person and i hope you achieve the best in life with your i would even call it Social skill. You are a very level minded person from everything i’ve read so far and i thank you for your effort into making this big problem be easier to cope with and eventually get rid of for some of us. P.s it was 3:45 am when i wrote this it was straight after a game of League of Legends and i stumbled upon this idea of searching for advice how to quit gaming. And i am very glad i found it both i hope i can get rid of this ‘dark side’ of my life.
Hello Cam. It’s Ben from South Korea.
Well I fell right back into gaming. I made the mistake and downloaded Skyrim and about 40 mods. It’s a beautiful game and it’s fun play. Although it hasn’t interfered with my work, it has interfered with my weekend schedule. Actually, I have become a hermit on the weekends. I haven’t gone out. On Saturdays, I’ve played 14 hour sessions. On Sundays it’s much less, and this is because I have chores. I work long hours so I don’t have the time to do my chores on the weekdays. I deleted my Steam library, including Skyrim just last week. This was Wednesday. On Friday, I came home from work and re downloaded Skyrim and all of its mods.
It’s important that we don’t blame video games. Everybody thinks differently and as a person you have to know what is triggering the excessive amount of gaming. In my case it’s stress and boredom. First, I don’t go out as much as I used to. I’m 43 years old. I don’t go to the bars like I used to in the past. Second, I should be updating my resume and applying to schools. My contract ends late August and now is the time to apply. I haven’t even begun yet. Why? Because I’m afraid of failing. I’m afraid that I’m not going to find a teaching position. That the school will not want me as a teacher. I’m told that I’m a great teacher at my current job, so why do I have this fear that I’m not good enough?
It’s also very important that if you quit a bad habit, then you need to replace it with a good habit. I think this is where a lot of people fail. It’s not enough to just quit. You will go back to your old habit because the temptation will be too high. I think going to the gym is an excellent habit to replace a bad gaming habit. It gets you out of the house, you get to meet people, and you get to reduce stress. Also, you are more likely to incorporate other good habits such as eating healthier.
*Find what is triggering you to play video games for so many hours.
*Replace that bad habit with a good habit.
I’m going to delete my Skyrim again. In fact, I’m going to do it now. I have to because my girlfriend is waiting for me in Thailand. I can’t let her down. Also, I doubt that she would sit by while I played Skyrim for 14 hours on a Saturday. =)
I love that your first piece of advice to stop playing game is to stop playing games. Brilliant!
QUESTION TO ALL:
If I started doing a weekly call where you could ask questions and I would answer them, would you find this valuable? The call would be free. I’m trying to find a way to help more of you out, especially people in high school who can not afford my 1 on 1 coaching rates. I still want to help so I thought doing a weekly call where I answer questions you submit would be a good way to help people out without taking up all my time.
Thoughts?
@ Rokas – Thanks for commenting! It’s amazing to hear you’ve read half the comments! There’s SO many of them. When I decide to dedicate time to writing my book again, I plan to go through them to find all the best stuff I’ve said along with any specific questions that keep coming up so I can address them. The task of going through all 900 comments seems insane! Best of luck in your journey, let me know if I can help you in any way!
@ Ben – Hey!! Thank you for your honesty. You nailed it! No point blaming the games, it’s just important to identify why you go back to games. For you, stress and boredom. Your post was fantastic, thank you for sharing.
On another note, I’ve struggled with not feeling good enough and being scared of failing for most of my life. I’d be happy to help you more with it if you want! So email me if you are interested.
@ Jesus – Seems so simple right! 🙂
Hello Cam, this is by far the best topic about quitting games I`ve ever seen. And even that this topic is almost 2 years old you are still very active on it with your comments which I have never seen anyone doing on the internet before. Loads of kuddos for the dedication and effort you put in this topic and it really shows how important you think it is to quite gaming.
Yesterday I felt completly shit about myself. I just had a talk with a girl I was dating with but she decided after 2 months it won’t work out betwen us, right at the moment I actually started to really like her. Call it “one of those moments of brightness” but I realised that I wasn`t happy with life, not because of this thing but in general.
I realised that I`m wasting every day of my life and not working towards a greater goal. Yes I got work but that`s only for 8 hours a week and I barely study enough because somehow I lack the motivation and if I continue this way I won`t complete it.
Most of the time I`m just gaming at home and in the weekends I go out with friends. If I continue this way I will probably end up very unhappy with a shitty job and still gaming most of the time.
So today I will “not try” to quite but just accept that I will never play videogames ever again. I want to make some big changes in my life and getting rid of some addiction (including videogames) will atleast make me stronger as a person since I can beat a big weakness of me.
My question is: how did you started all these new activities. For example your new hobby DJing. Did you always wanted to do that or is it something that you got by trying different hobbys and with trial and error you found out that this is the best hobby. At the moment I got the idea that I barely got any other passions in life then gaming (and listening to music)
Another thing is I got loads of free time from monday till friday. Most of my friends are than going to school or work. How do I fill in this big amounts of time with just one new hobby without getting bored.
Again big thanks already for everything you have done for all those people (including me) for making this topic.
Cam
I have thank u very much. I am 16 and I am very addicted to cs 1.6 .I am playing this game for 4 years . I started playing this game when I was 12 playing with bots but things changed when i started playing this game online .I was addicted that i play game from 6 am to 10 pm at night in summer holidays.Also i was playing this game yesterday but now after reading this article i uninstalled the game.I uninstalled before and reinstalled it several times but now i had make commitment with myself that i will not play this game again.It feels good when someone in the server say that “Hey! man U r pro ” and others say ” he is aimbotter and hacker” and admins also ban me because they think that i am aimbotter. I was also becoming Fat-ass because sit on the bed with lappy and playing cs 1.6 eating junk foods and drinking pepsi .
@junior
i had the same problem that i speak broken sentences that if somebody sitting besides me cannot understand what i am saying and i have speak that sentences 10 times. I was very nervous when any girl talk to me .Even when writing this comment i was very nervous that there should not be any kind of spelling and grammer mistake in my article
I was tied of searching on google that “How to leave cs 1.6 addiction” until i found this article
I thanked to god that i found this ariticle
Thanks Cam
because i think that now I will able to concentrate on my studies and play outside games
I really love your article … it was so inspiring..
let me tell you my story, when i was in high school i was also addicted to video games.
Until up to the point i realize that it was usless. Everything i’ll earn will be meaningless in the end.
I’m around 14 when I am addicted to computer games like L4d2,CSS and other FPS games. I realize people don’t like me anymore . I have less friends. My mom hates me for staying up late. I always fight with other people,my friends and my sister .
At first I was really addicted to Left 4 Dead 2 played for 4 hours and more and up to the point i hate it already. From there I started to learn magic tricks (it was fun) . I get to know more people, i have more friends, and more women. They really love me as a performer . Then i started to learn juggling and heck yeah it was awesome. I’m so happy i learned all of those skills.
After all those happy things my game addiction came back because Steam made Team Fortress 2 Free to Play.I became rude again, I even made my mom cried because of this stupid game. I completely stopped playing because someone scammed me . He took all of my valuable items that took months to achieve . It made me mad, it even made me cry . I was so stupid to be addicted to a game, AGAIN.
Days past until one day i was stuck in a jeepney (public transportation in the Philippines) full of foreigners, i can’t understand a single word and they were starting to annoy me because they were like making fun of me. I was thinking what should i have done.
The next day i started to learn their language so i can understand next time.
I completely forgotten video games from that day and forward.
I learned to perform tricks (i am already earning money for doing this) , learned to socialize and meet new people and i learned to read and understand a foreign language and I’m only 17 . I read this article because my cousin is asking for help on how to stop his game addiction. I’m glad i found this. Thank You and God Bless.
@ Pietpj – Thanks for commenting! I appreciate your kind words. When I set out to write the piece I had a big focus on making sure it ACTUALLY worked. I was so frustrated with the shitty advice people were giving to a problem that is very real. It makes me very happy that people have found this article so valuable.
Sorry to hear about the girl. I’ve experienced things very very similar… girl left me right when I started to really like her, so I completely relate to the feelings you’re experiencing. I remember waking up around Christmas in 2012 and realizing that I wasn’t really THAT happy. In fact, I was UNHAPPY. I made it my mission for 2013 to become ridiculously happy at all times, and it’s been a very fun journey so far!
A quick story on motivation:
Imagine you had to carry a 40 pound bag across the desert. How motivated would you be?
Not really right?
What if that 40 pound bag was your son… and he was sick? You’d be pretty motivated right?
So that’s the difference in PURPOSE. When you have purpose you have motivation. When you don’t have purpose you don’t have motivation. Viktor Frankl says in “A Man’s Search for Meaning” (great book btw!) that the last human freedom is the ability to give meaning to the experiences we have. I find a lot of people expect motivation to just occur… or purpose to just come out of nowhere… when in reality, we have to DECIDE what the purpose is, and why it’s important to us, and only then will we have true motivation.
To answer your question:
DJing is something I had always had an interest in but I never considered actually learning it. When I realized I really enjoyed it and had simply just never tried, I decided to try! If you write out a list of activities you’ve always been interested in… learning a language, a new instrument, rock-climbing, etc, I bet there’s at least a few things you’ve been interested in and intrigued by but simply haven’t signed up for a class or tried at all. Remember, passion isn’t going to happen over night, it’s something you develop by investing more time into an activity. So don’t be impatient, give it some time!
Also, for filling up your days, use a calendar. For the first 5 months of this year I decided to take work off and just work on being happy, so I had ALL DAY to do anything. At first it was hard because I had so much time, but then I started a routine.
I would wake up around 10am, shower, eat breakfast. This took me to 11:30 where I would go to a coffee shop and read for 2 hours. Then I’d head to another coffee shop and work for 3-4 hours, which would bring me to about 4-5pm. Then I would go work out or go to yoga for an hour, go home, cook dinner and now it’s already around 7-8pm. I would usually hang out with a friend (or call them) for a bit before I go to bed. The last few hours of the night I spent learning a new skill (graphic design, or I would spend it DJing.) The most important element for me was scheduling these 2 hour blocks of different activities.
@ Jaimeet – Thanks for commenting! So cool to see people of all ages commenting on the post. Remember.. you can do it! We believe in you. Follow the guidelines in the post and you will be able to quit no problem!
@ Jaijaimah – Thanks for commenting! I’m so happy to see you found it inspiring. Thank you also for sharing your story. It’s so cool to see how many commonalities we all share throughout our stories! Your story is inspiring! I bet a lot of people will learn a lot from it. Thank you again for sharing.
Great article, I’m also a competitive gamer so I feel this really related to me.
This is the first time I’ve actually considered gaming as a possible problem, however I feel like quitting cold turkey will be very hard for me as it’s been such a huge part of my life. I’ve played video games since I was 5, my 2 brothers and all my friends play video games as well.
I’m now at university in my third year of engineering, I’m also part of the university video game club committee and organize events (e.g. LAN parties) so I don’t really think it’s hurting my social skills too much and I can get girls with no problems. My grades are pretty good, I can easily ace tests and exams if I can be bothered but getting good grades isn’t much of a priority for me because I don’t really need a high paying job because I live simple lifestyle and don’t have expensive tastes.
What I don’t understand is how any other hobby is going to be any more fulfilling or valuable than video gaming. It’s a proven fact that games improve logic skills and make you more creative (in fact I pretty much blame video games for making me as smart as I am). They use video games for army training, doctors who play games make fewer mistakes, gamers have better eyesight and the amount of other evidence of gaming positives is ridiculous.
Gamers are unfit? Well I think this is mainly due to game design and technology constraints. There are plenty of games that are physically involving (e.g. PS Move Games) and if the technology was there we would have virtual reality shooters that are physically involving (like a blend of lazer tag and COD). I’m quite fit as well because I exercise every day and do weights every couple of days. Other than gaming I also draw and play guitar but these things have never really grabbed my attention like video games have.
You wrote that video games only make you THINK you are enjoying them because they fulfill the 4 needs you described but you still recommend other hobbies that do the same? Why? I feel like you and the rest of the people here are kind of biased against video games because of your bad experiences of video games due to your obsessive approach to playing them. What going to stop these obsessive people from being obsessive with their new hobbies? Why should I quit gaming when I’m so good at it and it isn’t really different from any other hobby?
@cam
exactly, the main problem with every addiction or bad habit is finding and chancing the deeper layer to get rid of the addiction. Without it, you will need a lot of willpower to overcome the problems you face such as boredom and I think that most gamers are not exactly people who can handle boredom (including me).
Yesterday, I uninstalled basicly every game on my pc and removed my League of legends account (had to sent a mail to the support of riotgames since they won`t let you remove it that easily). Also I informed my parents of quitting gaming and asked them for help to start up new things, I think asking for help will give me a bigger change to succeed even though I feel my pride is lower now that i`m showing a weakness and ask for help. Just have to commit myself of not falling back in my old routine.
Funny enough I started reading the book a week ago. I`m now around page 90 so didnt reach the part of making choices, but so far I absolutely loved the book even though it`s about the cruelties of Auschwitz. It made me actually think so far that you shouldn`t take things for granted and appreciate the little things in life that makes it beautifull. Also the message that you always should have faith in your future otherwise your life is already over is also one of the best messages in the book. Other book which I found very interesting was the 7 habits of highly effective people.
And about the hobbies I will take a look a different things and try things I always wanted to try, got a couple of gitars in my house and I might gonna read a bit more books since I`m enjoying them lately.
The 2 hour schedule could work yeah, but especially fill them in in places where other people are. A large problem of me is staying in my own house and since we`re social creatures I think being with other people constantly can make me happier.
Btw how is life working out for you in general lately, did you achieved some things you always wanted and do you now have a better feeling about the future?
@ Dominic – Thanks for commenting. I was in a video game club at a university once too, it was a lot of fun! I definitely relate. Throughout the comments there’s been this exact debate. I understand the angle you’re coming from. As I’ve talked about throughout the comments, the “adult learning model” or “game framework” is great and very effective. As you said, doctors use it to train, as do pilots, soldiers, etc.
I’m not arguing against those types of games. But those doctors, pilots and soldiers aren’t using World of Warcraft to do it. For a game to be educational it has to involve Educational content, and I don’t see very much educational content in Starcraft.
Of course, an argument can be made that even these games can help improve hand-eye coordination, etc. But so can juggling, and juggling doesn’t come with a high risk of negative side effects that gaming DOES.
Now, I want to be clear that I think it’s fantastic that you’ve been able to maintain good grades and a positive lifestyle even with games. I have no doubt it’s possible… in fact I’m certain if I wanted to I could do the same. But that doesn’t account for the millions of guys around the world who AREN’T (currently) capable of having that type of balance and healthy lifestyle. Just look at the comments of this post for evidence of that.
I haven’t re-read through it to confirm this, but the purpose behind the 4 pillars was an explanation of WHY you’re so drawn to games, which has been proven to be a very effective approach in combating the addiction. Once you understand WHY, once you develop that sense of awareness, it’s much easier to move on successfully. So many guys struggle to quit games because they don’t even know why they’re so drawn to them… other than being so drawn to them. I certainly did not mean to imply that games only make you THINK you are enjoying them, and have stated repeatedly throughout the comments that games can be fun, my point is merely that your addiction to games can cause you to forget that you can also have an incredible amount of fun in activities in person, on your own or with friends.
The chance of someone being just as obsessed with a new hobby as games is not difficult to achieve. In fact, I did the exact same thing when I quit games. But the “addiction” I had to going out and socializing allowed other factors to come into play that encouraged me to find a better sense of balance. I do believe the fact that I was out of the house and interacting with people in person had a major positive impact on my life – even though at first it was rather obsessive.
I only encourage people to quit games if they are realizing that gaming is making them UNHAPPY. If you read through some of the comments on here, you’ll see a pattern of people wanting to quit but being unable to do it. They ARE unhappy with their lives and WANT something different, but are unable to do it because of the grip games have on them. If you’re not one of these people, happy gaming!
@ Pietpj – Thanks for commenting again! Here’s a great TEDx talk on Willpower I think you might find interesting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_fQvcBCNbA
I’ve written about this in my book on video game addiction but I think one of the main reasons why our generation isn’t very good at handling boredom is because we’ve never really had to deal with it. The fastest growing age group of video game players in the US is kids aged 2-5.
Think about that.
What is a 2-5 year old doing playing games? Think about the scenario where it occurs. Your parents bring you to the restaurant with them, so they give you an iPad to play on. Your parents are at home watching TV, so they give you an iPad to play on. As you get older, you move up to a Playstation, Xbox, and eventually PC gaming. From the age of 2 all the way up until 18+, every time you’ve been bored, you’ve simply played games. That’s what you’ve trained yourself to do! It’s been your “go-to” activity every time.
One day you wake up and you’re now a 20 year old guy, and you’re like… holy fuck, all I do is play games, and I’ve never even had other hobbies.
You thought it was because you really loved games, and in some way you DID!
BUT, it’s also the only thing you’ve ever really KNOWN. You’ve never given yourself a chance to enjoy other activities, develop new hobbies, find passion in other things. And it’s not even your fault. It’s not your parents fault either. It’s just the way things happened.
This is a generational problem.
When your parents were young, they were likely kicked out of the house during the day to go outside and play. What did they do? They PLAYED. They came up with games, they interacted with each other, they went to the park, they met other people and made friends so they had more people to play with…
… they LEARNED how to have FUN, on their own, without video games and other devices.
Back to your comments. I’m proud of you for letting your parents know and asking for their help. This is an important step in your own progress, and being proactive in it will make a big difference. Make sure you help them help you.
By you opening up you’ve been “vulnerable”. Don’t feel down about this. It’s actually one of the MOST POWERFUL tools you can use for your own self-confidence and pride. Brene Brown talks about this, check out this video: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
You’ve made a decision so now when you stick to it, it will build up your confidence. You’ve made a decision, you’ve been decisive, and now you’ve going to succeed at it! That doesn’t mean you won’t have challenges and it will be easy, but it will be WORTH IT and you should feel fantastic about your decision and commitment to stick with it.
I hope you enjoyed Viktor Frankl’s book. It’s a fantastic read and I plan to read it every year. I love that you’ve learned more about gratitude from it. Gratitude is scientifically proven to increase your happiness. Remember, gratitude is a skill you can improve! 7 Habits is also a great book. Looks like you’re reading all the right stuff! Check out “Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown next! I’ve read over 30 books this year and that one has been the most powerful for me.
Take your book to a coffee shop and read it there. That way you’re already in a social environment so you will find a few more opportunities to interact with people. That’s one of my tricks.
Life for me is great right now. I moved to the USA in April and I’ve been LOVING it so far. This is where I live: http://thevillage.us
Pretty cool place full of entrepreneurs and an incredible community full of encouragement. Thank you for asking!
Thanks for the reaction, seems you invested that some time that write that all down, so thank you.
First of all this ted talk is amazing. I`m reading a lot of stuff about self-help and how the brain works but this is by far one of the best things I heard so far. Especially the first point about confusing wanting happiness with true happiness is an eye opener.
I tried using this theory today in my own life. Trying to not to give in with temptation such as gaming, listening constantly to music and eating snacks. I have to admit that I didn`t resist everything (atleast I didn`t play videogames so far) but feeling that you can resist some temptations (the wanting happiness) give you a strong urge of willpower and confidence.
Your theory of boredom might be true. One thing I noticed the past few years is that I see an increase number in children that are diagnosed with mental disorders such as ADHD. Many people think this is simply true because doctors and psychologists recognize symptoms of ADHD earlier and diagnose the children with ADHD. But honestly I think the increase numbers of kids that are constantly exposed to high tech objects such as telephones, videogames, televisions or mp3s is what making these kids lose their focus and giving them the concentration problems and a big amount of energy (which they should lose with playing outside or sporting) which cause them to be hyper active on school or at home. I might be wrong and I don`t know that much about the brain, but from my own experience today, resisting using things like listening to music constantly, watching television and actually go do some stuff (including sporting) made my mind a lot more relaxed and have some more focus at the moment.
I have seen the link about vulnerable before (don`t know when but it has been a while ago) but I definitely think It can help with overcoming bad habits. I have been a lot more open to my parents the past few days and it seems our relationship is already growing a bit. However I think I have to do this in small steps and try to grow constantly in it. Being open to everyone all of a sudden could be harmfull and dangerous and set back my trust in other people.
I will take a look at the books “the gifts of imperfection” in the future. First I want to finish the seven habits and the book of Victor Frankl in the coming days before starting to read any other book. It seems very interesting though and it’s from the same person of the 2nd website link which was an interesting link.
Btw good to see you made some chances in your life and moved to another place in the world. I just got a question about a quote of your previous reaction to my post:
“I remember waking up around Christmas in 2012 and realizing that I wasn’t really THAT happy. In fact, I was UNHAPPY. I made it my mission for 2013 to become ridiculously happy at all times, and it’s been a very fun journey so far!”
You stopped playing videogames at the start of 2010 but even after 2 years you still realized you weren`t happy. What were the mistakes you made in those 2 years of not getting the happiness you wanted and what did changed in 2013 for you that your life is now more rewarding and giving you more pleasure.
@ Pietpj – Thanks for coming back and commenting again! I’m glad you enjoyed the talk and are being proactive about implementing it! I really try to view life as a big experiment and constantly try new experiments to see what works and what doesn’t. Like quitting video games, this is an experiment. Some things will work, some things won’t, but you just keep trying and working at it until you figure out how to maintain it long-term, successfully.
I definitely agree with you about the whole ADHD thing. What’s interesting is that a huge majority of people that get diagnosed are simply just not interested in certain topics and that makes them lose focus. Put me in a boring English classroom and I can’t focus for the life of me, but if that class was on entrepreneurship, self-development or a topic I actually have an interest in, it would be no problem!
I think the short version of it is simply not being in alignment with the things that made me truly happy. I was around a lot of people that brought negativity into my life, instead of being around people that truly pushed me forward and were there as a strong arm of encouragement. Don’t get me wrong, I was still around some awesome people, but I think there was a significant gap between the types of people I wanted to be around and the type I was. I also think I didn’t focus on my physical fitness as much as I needed to (not that I have any weight issues or anything but physical fitness is one of the best ways to improve your mood). I was also way more stressed out than I should have been, and this took a big toll on my happiness. Now, I don’t let stress get to me as much, and instead focus on eliminating it from my life as much as possible, and also dealing with it when I need to instead of just letting it stick around.
if you wanna stop playing video games delete every video game, any content which reminds of a videogame, and start doin another activities hope this worked.
@ Stopplaying – Thanks for your input!
Thank you for this article Cam. It has really hit home and was exactly what I was looking for. Much like you I have been very competitive with all the games I have played…. which most of us know it takes many hours to achieve. I don’t want to be 50 years old with little to no friends no life experience a weak fat body and nothing to truly give to those around me that will make there lives better.
I want to live an active life style and make some wonderful friends who want to go skydiving freerunning bike riding so on and so fourth….
Can i achieve this by playing video games after my 8-5 job? . . . . EVERY SINGLE DAY! then saying to myself im going to do something this weekend only to go home and play videos games until i drool all over my key board..
Simple answer is NO… NOPE….. NOT AT ALL ..
Also i have found while being addicited to gaming many other character flaws have surfaced. Such as procrastination… What a huge kick in the butt this is .. .Laziness… On my journey to a fitness life… YA … RIGHT not when i let something like laziness rule me. Which gaming seems to push me straight into a swift coma.
For a month and 2 weeks I gave up gaming almost completely and filled it with fitness which let me say was an incredible thing to do and I grew more (not just in a physical sense but emotional and intellectually) in that short amount of time then in years of gaming.
then i fell back into the “coma” wake up 5 seconds before work. go to work. get home ignore as much responsibility as possible to get to playing my game.. go to bed wayyyy to late only to make me exhausted for the next day. rinse and repeat. Fun and semi happiness during the gaming part… rest of the day = a giant sludge filled road that I HAD I mean HAD To make it through In a rusted out flat tired bike.
Anyways im sure my point has been shown well enough. To put it simple I want to better myself and I want to live my life the way I want too soo… good bye Video Games and hello Adventurous life.
I hope this little bit of my grammer flawed mind helps someone. Thanks again Cam! Hopefully i can keep a hold of this mindset instead of losing it again. Now to fill the void..
The hardest part is making the friends who are living the way i want to live.
@ Tony – Thanks for commenting! It’s amazing to me how many people talk about this article hitting home for them. When I wrote it I could have never thought it would be as powerful as it has for so many amazing people. I definitely encourage you to try again (not playing that is!) Remember, sometimes we will go back our old habits and that’s ok. It’s not that we need to feel guilty about this, it’s just that we need to get back into our new healthier habits as quickly as possible. Last time you made it 6 weeks without games, so try and beat that record this time… and make that record as BIG as possible! That’s how I’ve done it at least.
Best of luck with your journey. Please keep me updated.
Oh I almost forgot… Cam this article has practically gave me some strive to want to start recording my thoughts from week to week on a blog or write articles online somewhere. I want to record such things as those “light bulb” moments we all get from time to time (which we sometimes forget about within a weeks worth of time) So maybe I can help people get through problems they may be having in there life or to just add value theres. Much like you have done by this wonderfully written article which has probably helped hundreds. Keep it coming man you are helping people make there lives so much better.
@ Tony – You should do it! I highly recommend documenting as much of your thinking as possible. It helps a ton! Please come back and share your link if you end up doing it.
You should make a video version of this and put it on Youtube.
Hey Juan. Thanks for the suggestion! I totally agree. It’s something that’s definitely been on my list lately. I will let you know when it happens! Maybe sometime in July when a filmmaker is coming to hang out with me.
Hey mate, thanks for the article, it was exactly what i was looking for atm, you cleared up and explained every aspect of people’s addiction to gaming, once again cheers.
@ Jek – Thanks for commenting! I wish you the best luck in your journey. Please update me on your progress!
Thanks. Now i can stop playing games for my parents. They say i play way to much. 🙂
Hey Cam…
Well I did it. I deleted every that was related to gaming today. I deleted Steam and I changed my password to some obscure password so I can’t easily re-download my games again. I deleted all of my gaming websites, and I deleted all of my tablet and smartphone games. I never want to see another game for the rest of my life!
Since I’ve last left a comment I was still playing my PC games. I was still holding on to the belief that I could still play casually and be productive. I can’t do it. It’s either I live a productive life or I waste it with gaming. I chose living. No more will I be a slave to video gaming. Oh, I was very sad. Gaming has been a constant companion for the last 12 years. When I am bored I game. When I’m feeling stressed I game. When I am sitting inside on a beautiful day I game. It’s not a great way to live.
I plan to get involved in weight training, nutrition, language, teaching, and so on. I’m going to set aside weekly and daily goals. Anything to keep my mind off gaming. Also, I plan to go out much more often now. Anything to get me out of the apartment.
I’ve been reading/listening to a few self health books that I’d like to share:
*Seven Habits of Highly Successful People
*Think Confident/Be Confident
*Shut Up Stop Whining and Get A Life
*The Power of Habit (This is an audio book)
Cam, are you still thinking about teaching in Asia? China has a lot of options. South Korea is decent. You have to watch because there are bad schools.
Ben
Hi there. I am on the way to quit! but, how should I start all over again? I’ve lose all my friend. Since primary school, I play maple; Secondary school I play RPG game and dota. It was crazy! I’ve ignore my social life, all I does was study and gamming in my childhood. Now I been ignored and no contact from them for 3-4year. I think I need a restart button in my life. Where should I start from? Im 0 now! I’m not good in communication and no knowledge on social life. How? It’s harder to make friend when we gets older, as they will have their own gang of friends. Im 22, and seriously I wanted to change!! I had delete my game, but yet still on fb games(boring :// wont last longer).
I had conflict on my group of friend in college. Somehow I feel they really used me to fetch them here and there. But, when I spoke out to my friends about this situation, they spread it and makes it like gossip. After that, our friendship went complicate. I was treated cool and ignored sometimes, which let me feels like I should leave, and you’re not important. hmm I wanted to restart my life seriously. But, how? Speak to random people on the road? I know nothing about social life. I spoke wrong things, does weired thing and many mistake once I step out of the computer. I know is time to change, if not, I’ll become social outcast. I don’t know what’s my interest. I feel trapped sometimes, and think of suicide when I does simple daily basis mistake in real life. I feel so stupid…
@ Ryan – Yes! Absolutely!
@ Ben – Thanks for coming back and providing an update. If you have an iPhone check out the app “Life app”. I believe they actually have a web version now too, but this can be a great way to track your new habits! http://lift.do I’m proud of you for taking this next step, it’s an important one! Those books look great. I have the power of habit and I’ve read 7 habits. I’ll check out the other ones. I also highly recommend checking out Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown and How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie! Please come back and let me know how your progress is going, and of course if there’s anything I can do to help I’d be more than happy to!
@ Henry – Thanks for commenting! Don’t worry too much about having to restart! This is a perfect opportunity to try again and do things differently this time! I highly recommend reading through some of the recent comments I’ve posted because there will be a lot of good information for you on how to get started with your social skills, making new friends and also how to fill your days up. Here’s an example:
“Also, for filling up your days, use a calendar. For the first 5 months of this year I decided to take work off and just work on being happy, so I had ALL DAY to do anything. At first it was hard because I had so much time, but then I started a routine.
I would wake up around 10am, shower, eat breakfast. This took me to 11:30 where I would go to a coffee shop and read for 2 hours. Then I’d head to another coffee shop and work for 3-4 hours, which would bring me to about 4-5pm. Then I would go work out or go to yoga for an hour, go home, cook dinner and now it’s already around 7-8pm. I would usually hang out with a friend (or call them) for a bit before I go to bed. The last few hours of the night I spent learning a new skill (graphic design, or I would spend it DJing.) The most important element for me was scheduling these 2 hour blocks of different activities.”
To get started I would definitely recommend joining a new hobby or two. Don’t worry too much if you LOVE these activities… because their purpose is just to help you get out there meeting new people. Things like MMA, a musical instrument, new language, etc. These are great ways to meet new people. Sports!
Also read the book How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie, it will be a great way for you to get started understanding how to make more friends. Remember, you’re not alone. There’s a huge community of people in these comments that have gone through the same things as you! 22 is the perfect age to start again. You’re old enough to make real changes!
Such a great article. I don’t game a lot, actually I had given up but lately I started Borderlands 2, got to level 16 in a week, and now I am going to completely delete it today. Thanks for the help.
Hey guys. I am a 14 year old boy who has had a severe addiction to gaming. This is nothing new, but I feel like shit about myself right now.
My life story: I was always one of the shortest kids in my class and was never the best in different sports events (sprints, basketball, football, etc). However there were only two things that I had in me, physical endurance and intelligence (with modesty intended). I could never beat athletes in their own sports, but I could always last as long and mostly longer than them in their own sport. I transferred schools in 6th grade and was popular the first quarter but then became a nobody eventually. We lived far away and our new house wasn’t built yet, but my parents wanted to provide me with great education. I am spoiled and I hate it as I never helped my parents who have done so much for me (I’ll explain everything they’ve done for me later). I couldn’t play a sport as I lived too far away to make it for practices and drive and finish homework, so I was labeled as a nerd.
At 6th grade summer (going into 7th grade) a new event in my life started. I started doing taekwondo next to my gym, which started my martial arts career. Then, in 8th grade summer (going into 9th grade), I picked up muay thai (thai kickboxing) and brazilian jiu jitsu to train for MMA and learn how to defend myself for more self esteem since I am too small to play any other sports (thank god for weight classes). Now it’s 9th grade summer (entering 10th grade) and I have played 8 hours of video games daily and have gotten slighty overweight, which is something I never would have happened to me especially with my athleticism and the fact that I get my ass whooped in boxing classes. It is something I am so embarrased about and I can’t even imagine it.
Video games also spoiled my mind. I don’t consider myself a genius and I don’t mean to brag with this paragraph, but I just want you guys to understand my dreams and goals and how I am destroying my potential. By the end of first grade, I had mastered my times tables. I didn’t KNOW them, I mastered them. My dad would say “8×7″ or 6×9” and I would say the answer in literally two seconds (first grade Ray). I was considered a prodigy by my parents and teachers. The pattern continued for years and years and I had an ultimate dream goal of reaching MIT (a fantastic university for math and science). I want to achieve big accomplishments, mentally and physically as I believe in being great in both areas to be strong in all domains and not just one.
Video games also ruined my relationships with different people, but most importantly with my family. I ignored the people I love the most and even my six year old sister loves me enough to tell me to stop, which I ignored completely. My parents are the best and they have done everything in the world to help me. I always act like the worst asshole to them though, making me probably the world’s largest spoiled brat. They have given me endless amounts of love and support, enormous amounts of money on new toys and items as a kid, medical growth hormones to allow me to grow faster and not feel inferior at school, a personal coach to talk to for life issues, and other endless amounts of shit only to receive shit in return!!!! Like am I not a fucking loser for real this time????? Seriously, all the other people on here are not as spoiled as me or have had parents neglect them when they need addiction help. I have received fucking everything…………I don’t even feel like submitting this because I am just so fucking stupid. It’s like Earth has all the sunlight, vegetation, and water to create life, yet it doesn’t. Honestly, what more can parents do????
I don’t blame them for feeling disappointed in me. As a spoiled brat, I wish I could’ve been in a different setting. My parents don’t deserve me. I’ve always admired the Spartan warriors. They are my heroes because of their mental and physical discipline since child birth. I wish I was born in that time period so I could get my ass whipped every day and become a somebody instead of a fucking nobody that only talks big, but doesn’t do shit. I am so embarrased submitting this because of how pathetic I am. I had all the potential, money, love, support, etc. and I decided to blow it. If I read this, I would think “What a spoiled little idiot that ruined his life. Fucking dumbass.”
I am stopping video games cold turkey because I’ve learned I am not a guy who is into moderation. Some people are great at it and never have an addiction. I am not one of those people and I will never drink alcohol as I have bad genetics for alcohol addiction in my family, which may have caused my addiction to video games as well.
I am going to start training in martial arts and combat sports again and will start working out again and burn everything I gained during the summer. I am going to start studying again and hopefully reach Calculus and Physics level before the age of 15. That is my goal. I am going to repair my social life and relationships with my friends and family and maybe hit up a few laidies here and there for the first time ;).
Sorry for the extremely long story guys. I just poured out my emotions and just felt so bad about it so I had to let it all out in text. Honestly I feel a lot better now with the help of this article’s tips. Thanks again author! Forgive me for any spelling mistakes as I was typing fast on my iPad. Oh and just one question. When I’m training in muay thai or brazilian jiu jitsu, I train with guys at my gym, but not friends. Is this social enough or should I change something in my plan? Thanks guys for all the help!
@ Brokenfap – Thanks for coming by and commenting! I’m glad you found value in it even though you’re not a hardcore gamer. I appreciate you taking the time to give me more feedback!
@ Ray – Thank you SO much for coming and sharing your story with us. I’m so impressed every time someone in their teenage years takes the time to open up and be vulnerable with the group. It’s really cool to see a 14 year old being assertive to seek help! I’m proud of you, Ray!
First I want you to know when I read your story I didn’t think you were pathetic, I didn’t think you were a loser, I didn’t think anything bad about you at all! I thought you were very courageous! It takes a lot of heart to put yourself out there and share your story, even though you aren’t always going to be the most proud of it!
From reading your story I can tell you are ready to make changes and take on the world! A few times in your story you mentioned that you had ruined everything, screwed up, lost your chance, etc. I want you to know this is NOT true at all! It may feel like life is crashing down right now but think about it like this:
The actions you have taken, the behavior you’ve had, this is what has influenced your situation to become what it is.
So if you change your actions, if you change your behavior, you can get a different outcome! Pretty awesome, right? Take myself for example. When I wrote the post, I was miserable, down on life, depressed, thought I had ruined all my potential, etc. I was also 21 years old or so. Fast forward 3 years later and my life is dramatically different! I am very happy, pushing my comfort zone each day, doing my absolute best to live life to the fullest, and most of all, embracing my potential as much as possible. I tell you this because you can do it too!
It starts with little changes each and every day. I highly recommend reading a book called “The Power of Habit”.
I also think you’ll really enjoy this TED talk. Are you familiar with TED talks? They’re great if you haven’t heard of them before. Especially for a guy like yourself who’s pretty smart, you’ll be able to learn a lot from them! This one is on the power of vulnerability, and the speaker, Brene Brown talks about how shame relates to self-esteem. I think you’ll learn something for sure! Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjNtWRBdXws
Focus on living life to the fullest one hour, one day at a time. That’s all you need to focus on. It’s great to notice whether you can play in moderation or not. I’m like you, I have to be cold turkey or not at all. There’s so much more to life than video games!
As for goals, I want you to think about not only the goals you want to accomplish (outcomes), but two other things too:
I want you to set your goals (outcomes), and then create action items for each one (what actions do you need to take to make it a reality!)
Now, lastly I want you to think about the type of person you need to BE in order to accomplish these goals. As an example, if you want to read Calculus and Physics before the age of 15, what type of personality traits do you need to embody in order to make it happen? These are an important element to accomplishing goals because a big part of reaching your goals is becoming the type of person who can do it. In order to accomplish your calculus goal, I’m guessing things like: discipline, willpower, accountability, assertiveness, focus, etc are a few you’d want to think about.
My roommate Phil Drolet has a great post on how to increase your willpower and discipline, you can read it here: http://www.thefeelgoodlifestyle.com/willpower-discipline.html
Anyways, thank you again for your comment, please keep me updated on your progress!
Thanks for the article Cam
I’ve been screwing up my otherwise good grades in college playing games. I’m taking a double unit load in summer school and have been hella stressed out. This semester, many other times in my life, I binge game when I am stressed out. Tonight i decided i needed to make a significant change, so found this page, and deleted all my non-educational games.
Also, I really liked the Ted Talk video you posted –> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjNtWRBdXws
Be well
Oh, one more thing!
For any kids out there considering quitting gaming: It really is worth quitting! I’ve fucked up my eyes playing games, and now i have hella narly dark patches below my eyes, so i look like im on drugs or something. College is full of cute girls, but having fucked up eyes is not a recommended fashion statement.
Be well yall-
@ Nor-Cal – Thanks for commenting! I’m glad you enjoyed the post and the TED talk. This is a fun time in your life being in college! Yes it can be stressful but remember to enjoy it as much as possible. College offers SO many awesome opportunities for you to socialize, meet new people, and learn how to build better relationships. You’re right, it’s FULL of cute girls. You seem like a good guy so go meet them! The dark patches under your eyes can be from a number of reasons, but I’ve had friends improve that condition using different creams and stuff before. Look into it!
Hey there here’s a contribution from a ex-gamer:
This may or may not work for you!
I noticed if I tried to loose weight the hunger feeling overruled the gaming hunger.
Making it possible to quit long term the easy way. Your system is to busy with sending signals for food.
This only works if you can keep up the fight with weight loss and sporting. (don’t do a crash diet. WARNING!!! also see a (weigth loss expert) don’t trust internet wisdom on how to sport or lose weigth!
However be wary of high depression, you’ll break your weight loss program and go into food frenzy (and afterwards you may feel tempted to start gaming again). HAVE a plan how to counter this. Again consult a expert.
also train yourself to ignore anything that is related to computer games. (especially tv ads for gaming (zap away immediatly))
have a plan ready for common events such as friends starting a gaming match in the same room as you.
good luck all
@ Jacques – Thanks for commenting and adding your input! I definitely agree about having a plan in place for common events, like seeing a commercial, having friends gaming around you, feeling bored and not knowing what to do, etc. I found a lot of value in taking the time to understand what the various elements are holding me back from being able to stop completely, and finding solutions to those made the biggest difference in my ability to stop.
Hope you have a great day!
Hey Cam I thought you might be interested in this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5jDspIC4hY&feature=youtu.be
Why Do We Play Games.
He talks about all types of games and not just video games. He keeps stating that life is the ultimate game. I found it informative.
Hope you like it.
@ Ben – Thanks for the video link! I totally agree that life is the ultimate video game. We’ve actually written a post on it too! You can check that one out here: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/social-dynamics-is-the-ultimate-video-game/
Hey, I’ve taken a further step of initiative in my next attempt at disconnecting myself from games.
Now instead of simply uninstalling everything I’ve even got my mum to change my steam password for me so there’s simply no option to re-install when I get temptation.
Hopefully this will work out and I won’t return to gaming – at least until I’ve learnt some self control.
I have also found that meditation is a pretty effective thing for controlling urges but still in early stages with that.
Hello Cam. How is your book coming along? Is it going to be done soon? I just had a question.
What do you think of the so-called benefits that come from playing video games? There have been numerous studies that show you can reap benefits from gaming. Now, I don’t think that they are talking about hardcore gaming. Maybe 1-2 hours per day.
Also, have you seen Jane Mcgonigal’s videos on why everyone should play video games? She has a video on Ted Talk and she has you tube videos. She also has a book out called Reality is Broken. Here are a couple of video links:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ7uaDlYVmo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE1DuBesGYM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deGo6qb2hVw
So what do you think? Is she grasping at straws? Or does she make sense?
It has been over 200 days since I quit video games. Here’s everything that’s changed:
1. I run every day. My plan is to become a varsity cross-country runner, which is a step up from being on the c-squad.
2. I lift weights a couple times each week. My pull-up record is now at twenty-one, it was around ten when I was playing video games.
3. I learned to enjoy cooking.
4. I eat extremely healthy. I’m on a whole foods diet pretty much.
5. I’m writing and reading now. If I’m lucky I might get a novel published some day.
6. I lost some body fat. That is the product of running and a healthy diet.
@ Wilko – Thanks for coming back with an update! I definitely think the step you took by having your mom help you out is a great idea. Meditation is another great step. I’ve found it to be one of the best ways to develop real self-control. I use an app for my iPhone called “Headspace” that works really well!
@ Ben – The first half of the book was written last year and I haven’t touched it since. The main reason is that I feel like this is a subject I want to spend real time writing a “proper” book for, instead of just putting out a short 30-page ebook expanding on the original post. I don’t think the book will be done any time soon BUT there are potentially some HUGE announcements coming up in the next 2 weeks, which, if this one announcement goes through, there will be many more to come, including definitely a timeline for finishing the book, and many other elements that will be amazing.
There are a bunch of studies that show benefits to playing games, and I don’t disagree with them. The area that I differ is on whether video games are the most effective approach to learning these skills when it comes with a high risk of addiction. I agree that certainly video games can train certain skills, and I’m also a big fan of using the gaming framework (called the Adult Learning Model I believe, aka gamification) to learn and educate, however the content of the games is very important when it comes to this.
I haven’t spent an enormous amount of time researching Jane Mcgonigal’s work. From a few videos I’ve watched, I can see the angle she is taking and also don’t necessarily disagree with it, however I’m unsure how much it applies to the hardcore gamer.
Something I notice a lot is that the arguments typically fall to whether or not you should play video games.
This is NOT the central element of my argument. My concern is for the people who play games because they have to, the people who play games even though they want to quit and do other things, the people who play games and feel completely trapped by them. My focus is more on the addiction side of games, and not even necessarily the addiction side of games themselves, but of why certain people get addicted to them and cannot stop. Whether or not you should play games has a lot more to do with who you are and where you’re at in your life and less to do with whether games have benefits or not. Although I do believe it’s entirely possible for games to be played in moderation, I am focused on the best approach to getting to that point, and one of the best approaches I’ve seen is by moving on from them completely for an indefinite amount of time.
The people I’m concerned about are the ones who have other dreams and goals in life who are painfully wasting their potential in games. This isn’t my own belief about their situation, it’s THEIR belief about it. That’s a BIG BIG difference. Even though Jane may have some good, valid points, I wonder if she’d really recommend many of the readers or commenters of this post to continue playing games.
Unfortunately in my opinion, this is a group of people who are being left behind. People are more focused on whether or not you should play games and missing out on the key element of WHO is playing those games. The hardcore gamer trapped in games is being ignored, and video game addiction is absolutely a growing problem. If you look at video game trends it can be startling to see where things are going.
This is the group of people I remain focused on helping. I also don’t think video games have to be the end all be all. There are other parts of life you can enjoy just as much if not more than games, and this doesn’t make games good or bad, just different.
@ Fossa – Thank you so much for coming back to leave an update! I’m SO proud of you for achieving 200 days without games. That’s a huge accomplishment! It’s amazing to see the benefits and goals you’ve reached by moving on from games. I’m truly grateful for your update, thank you!
Ok so I have been playing WoW for a very long time. I usually played whenever I could. I am 15 almost 16 and I have lots of friends and stuff but I never hang out with them or anything… I am popular and stuff like that but no one knows I play these video games or how long I play. I want to quit because I like being “cool” and popular in school and I can get girls and stuff but Im afraid if they find out that I game like I game that I will become a loser, and I dont want that, I dont have friends over because I dont want them to see my gaming gear and stuff. I am good at sports, specifically soccer, so i have other stuff to do but its a challenge everyday trying to just stop cold… I have tried earlier but it only lasted for a month. I just decided this last week and I have been doing fine but I am getting urges to play. I am just afraid that people will find out and I will be a loser. Any suggestions?
@ Cody – Thanks for commenting! So cool to see that you’re 15 and assertive enough to come by and comment. It’s important to notice that you’re talking a lot about how you’re worried about what other people think about you. The reason it’s important to notice this is because you need to instead draw your identity and self-worth, your self-esteem from who YOU are and how YOU view yourself, not how you think others view you. If I was to say what the #1 thing is that holds people back in their life it’s this exact problem: being worried about what other people think about you.
I would recommend reading some of Nathaniel Branden’s stuff on self-esteem! He has a great book called the 6 pillars of self-esteem, check it out.
Also, urges to play again are completely normal. When you get them instead of feeling weird or panicking about it, just take a breath and go do something else. Urges come and go like a wave, so when you feel them remember they will go away!
Wow what a great article. The one thing you did emphasize but didn’t spend enough time on was the justification that the mind does when confronting whether you are wasting your life on something that has no value in the real world whatsoever. Every single person that spends 16 hours a day on any mmo will tell you one of the following. “At least im not doing drugs” or “Im not out at the bar wasting money” They never tell themselves the truth “I could be spending more time with my friends and family” “I could be doing something productive with my time like learning a second language or finding another hobby” or “I could be exercising”. The mind is sneaky in that it will make excuses for you to do what it wants you to be doing. People deny this. I asked someone a question before quitting world of warcraft. He like you was on there all day every day. I never logged on and didn’t see him on. I asked him if he ever felt he was missing out on life by spending so much time in front of a computer screen. He said he was antisocial and would hide at home anyways. I immediately heard his mind justifying it. I told him if there was no television or no computer would you still stay at home doing nothing. I think I made my point to him. A few months later he quit the game. I quit when my friends came over and saw me geeked out with headset on every single time they would come over. One of them asked me why I spent so much time on there because it was the most unproductive thing you could do. My mind immediately justified it with same excuses that everyone else makes. But the truth was he was right. Since playing online games the number of friends that I had diminished greatly. So the point I want to make is the gamers who have themselves convinced that they can play 4 hours every day after working 8 hours and don’t have a problem. Question it again. It is your mind making excuses for your bad habits. Thanks for great post.
@ David – Thanks for commenting and leaving awesome feedback! I definitely agree with you that your mind can come up with so many excuses and justifications to continue to play, so it’s important to become aware of them.
Hey Cam have you checked out the Penny Arcade videos on game addiction? It’s very interesting.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/game-addiction-pt.1
http://www.penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/game-addiction-pt.2
http://www.penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/game-compulsion-part-3
Most definitely check out the second part. It was a heartfelt video from a game addict who was addicted to Everquest and Starcraft. He talks about what video games had done to his life. But most importantly he discusses how life will always welcome us back. We should never give up. =)
@ Ben – Thanks for the links! I’ll check them out for sure.
Hi Cam,
I won´t be putting up a long story of why I want to quit gaming, so here I share my small story of experience.
I´ve been gaming for a long time, since I was a kid. I played games like World of Warcraft, Runescape and currently League of Legends. I want to pursue a carreer in accountancy, but the way I am living right now is not the ideal situation to do a tough study. I know myself very well, and I find myself to be constantly distracted by gaming when I want to study. I just cán’t combine gaming with studying, as much as I like gaming. I find it impressive how people can combine such a thing with that, either way it’s not working for me. So I will have to quit gaming, but it requires much discipline to do that. The biggest reason why I still haven’t quit gaming is that I am afraid of what will come when I am bored, gaming has been my hobby for a long time. I just don’t know how to handle the situation. School is starting in one month and I have to make a decision otherwise it would be a wasted year. So my problem is: Should I just fully commit to studying and sacrifice my comfort zone or continue living the way I am right now? I think both have certain advantages. I might be having more fun with gaming, but I would be delaying my personal development. A study would give me a more interesting life but at a sacrifice. What advise could you give me?
@ Tom – Thanks for commenting! You were able to identify one of the biggest keys to quit and that’s making sure you have an answer for what you can do when you’re bored. This is absolutely critical, because since you played games since you were young, it’s very likely that gaming has become your “go-to” activity whenever you feel bored. That’s why when you’re studying and you start to lose focus, you want to go game. You’re feeling bored and want to have fun!
Now, even though this seems a bit scary, it’s actually a great blessing! If you think about it, although right now you’re scared of what you will do when you’re bored, if you are able to find a few different “go-to” activities, you will have an easier time moving on from games. Yes, discipline is part of it, and I recommend scrolling up a few comments from ours to find a video I posted on the topic of will-power. You will learn a lot from it!!
Regarding your question about comfort zone, I highly recommend pushing outside of it. This graphic is one of my favorites: http://justsomepoesy.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/comfort-zone.jpg
The thing is, staying in your comfort zone right now might be “fun”, but I imagine you actually feel worse about yourself every time you do it. So instead of feeling INSPIRED, you are feeling bad about yourself, lowering your self-esteem, etc. The thing is, you already know the answer. You want to pursue the type of life you deserve, one where your personal development is strong, yet you keep delaying it for games. This is against what you really want, so don’t be afraid to give yourself permission to move on from games! You can do it! I believe in you 🙂
Hey Cam,
I’ll go straight to it. I want to quit. I’ve been playing extremely addicting games lately and it’s taking a serious toll on my college grades. I have tried uninstalling every game, only to redownload them the next day.
The problem with this is that you talk about passion and a dream. Well, ever since I was a young lad, I’ve wanted to open up my own LAN center for local competitive gamers in Seattle. Of course I have a pipedream plan to get there: Programming Education -> Money -> Invest -> Open Business -> Success.
It’s a failing business idea, but I will always hold my dream close to the heart. How do I proceed to quit without gaming? I just need to quit for a few years, that’s all, but I can’t seem to kick it!
Thanks in advanced!
@ Tony – Thanks for commenting! The key is to find new hobbies in the meantime. You have to make the decision to quit. There’s a ton of amazing comments from others who share their story about how they quit and what worked for them. You absolutely need to decide to quit and then identify other activities you can do instead.
Interesting that we had a very similar dream. I used to want to open a LAN center too, and now I’m not as big into it. Not saying you will want to do something else instead but definitely taking a break from gaming for a few years will be a good step towards identifying whether that’s really your dream or if you’ll end up being passionate about something else.
I recommend reading through some of the latest comments on this article, there’s a TON of awesome advice and insight into the various issues you’ll come up to.
Same as u CAM… I started wid CS 1.6, then DOTA, DOTA 2, AOE 2, A3, and now i m at WOW – CATACLYSM……… I really want to quit… even at job i cant concentrate… dont want to live life as gamer any more/
@ KD – Thanks for commenting! You can do it if you follow the guidelines in the post. Read the comments too because there is a ton of great advice from others who have successfully quit. Keep me posted on your journey… I love to hear updates from people.
I can’t thank you enough!!!! I’ve been playing video games consistently since I was 5 years old in the early 2000’s with james bond golden eye, mario etc… and have been avidly addicted to gaming UNTIL a few days ago, and this is where I want to thank you, my experience is really similar to yours, I was addicted to various games (Mainly World of Tanks, Fallen Earth, and the Total war series) and would play 10-12 hours a day, recently it hasn’t been “that” bad playing only around 2-3 hours a day, but this article was the tipping point for me, I’m 16 and finally decided last night (after reading this) to go cold turkey, I deleted every single game off my computer, uninstalled steam and origin, and so far I feel really good, today I decided to spend the time I would usually be playing video games, studying a new language (French), learning more on the guitar and talking to my friends, it’s been excellent so far, hopefully it remains like this, thanks!!
@ Will2- Thanks for commenting! I’m really glad you were able to find value in the post! So cool that you’re 16 and searching out answers to this type of question! Be proud of that. It’s also great that you’ve taken the advice to heart. Remember… sometimes you will have doubts and desires to go back to games. This is NORMAL and it’s simply an opportunity to remind yourself why you’re serious about NOT playing them. Keep me posted on your progress, I’m super excited for you!
Playing world of warcraft 7 years strong, need something breaking really to quit it. I’ve tried everything. I only ending up spending more money after buying new computers and new accounts. It looks so simple but it is not
Hi Cam where should I start… I’m 17 and I’ve been playing games since I was 5-6 yrs old. At first I played them because it was entertaining but 3 or so year later I started to become addicted and started playing a few hours a day after school but during my late teens 15-17 I started to get really addicted and play 7-8am before school and 3pm- till 2-3am after school I’m lacking sleep and ruining my schooling I’m coming up to my yearly exams and only have 1 more year of school after this and I should be studying but I lack any motivation and instead play games all day on my computer. I can’t stop thinking about playing games but deep inside I know I want to stop playing but I can’t get myself to stop playing. My parents say they don’t want me to throw my schooling away and I agree with them but when ever I try to do anything about it il just go back on my computer. I really want to uninstall my games from my computer but I can’t force my self to do it. I’m good at playing music and I can feel myself being motivated to play my instrument instead of playing games but I can’t !!! Please help me
@ Pae – Thanks for commenting! I definitely relate to how you feel. Although you feel like it isn’t that simple, it CAN be that simple. Now, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. I think sometimes we confuse things being simple with things being easy. That’s not always the case. BUT, if you focus on the few simple things you need to do (follow the instructions in the article), you CAN get past the gaming addiction and move forward into other areas of your life. I highly recommend going through and reading the various comments on the article. There’s a ton of other people who have struggled just like you who have found answers to the questions you’re looking for, and of course, there’s a lot of inspiration too!
You can do it. I believe in you.
@ Adam – Thanks for commenting and sharing your story. Did you know the fastest growing age group in the USA is kids aged 2-5? Pretty crazy right? IF you scroll up a few comments you can find various comments on the secret to motivation (if you search the page for the word “purpose” you will be able to find it). That’s the big key. So often when people are feeling unmotivated they don’t know where to start. I’ve felt this way too. But when I learned this motivation secret it totally changed everything! FOcus on figuring out WHY you want to quit games. What’s the purpose? Why do you care so much about it? Grades is good but I’d suggest focusing even deeper. Also, follow the instructions. It’s important to find other activities to do that fulfill the areas you’re drawn to games for. Remember, you CAN do it. Read through the comments, there’s so much valuable advice for people your age and even YOUNGER!!! I believe in you. Please come back and update me on your journey soon.
Thank you Cam,
My brothers are addicted to League of Legends (I play casually) but it is ruining their school grades. Our parents hate driving so we don’t really get out of the house (especially in summer) so what can we do that can stop them from thinking about LoL every minute? They haven’t exactly found their favorite hobby yet….they consider league as their savior from a boring life. + they want to keep playing and don’t have a firm commitment to stop. How can they be encouraged to stop?
Thanks so much! Hend
@ Hend – Thanks for commenting! I definitely understand the frustration you must be feeling. One of the hardest parts is allowing them to come to the conclusion on their own that they need to change their behavior, because until they make that decision themselves it’s very difficult to influence the behavior otherwise. One suggestion I would encourage is to start doing more activities together outside of games. Start small and build your way up. One of the elements I think is important when it comes to learning new skills or starting new activities is to understand why you like what you like. So for example, if you were to start rock-climbing, taking a few minutes to question what the value is in it will do a lot of good in motivating you to continue pursuing the activity. I’ve written about this concept in a blog post before, check it out here: http://www.thefeelgoodlifestyle.com/developyourpassion.html
Again, start small and build your way up as they are enjoying other activities more and more. The key is to figure out how to fix the problem of being bored, because whenever they are bored their desire to play games will be strongest.
Hope that helps. Keep me updated on how it goes.
Hello CAM, i did not read everything since it’s hugh but i do empathise. Also, i just wanted to tell you that you should not listen to all the rude, negative people and nej-sayers that just simply does not understand what you have/are trying to accomplish. I know this feeling, you want to live life and not be the spectator..
My story is like yours, but the gaming goes back alot further.
Stay strong, know that there are more of us out there & don’t give in, don’t give up.
Sincerly
a like minded friend.
Hi Cam, in April I said I come back in a month and write how things are going. This was the plan. A few days it was easy to stay “clean” and I was highly motivated because I expected a better and more meaningful life. However there came tough days. I got back a bad grade and had a lot to do for the college. I just wanted some immediate fun and an escape from troubles. This was when I started again with gaming. After hours of playing computergames I felt worse than before. What followed were different attempts to stop gaming and there were always setbacks. This went on until I accepted that life will be less fun in the beginning. I made an experiment out of it and I knew I could always start gaming again. First everything was boring. My mind was fully adapted to gaming. I forced me to do things that were the least boring for me(e.g. phtography). The longer I stayed clean the more pleasure came back to my life. I never played computergames again and will probably never do it again. Thanks 🙂
@ Like-Minded – Thanks for commenting! I definitely encourage you to read the whole article. I know it’s long but that’s for a reason! It’s well worth a few more minutes of your time. Thanks for your kind words. It’s definitely interesting to see what people’s feedback is, but I focus more on the people that appreciate the article and don’t worry too much about those who don’t. Thanks for leaving your feedback. Wish you the best!
@ Someone2 – Thanks for coming back and sharing your update! Yes, this is VERY common! One of the reasons why I believe you need to have a video game detox for a bit is because like you said, at first the type of stimulation you got from games was hard to find in life, but as time went on you adjusted and began to feel the other elements life has to offer. It’s incredible to experience other types of stimulation once you get out of the gaming addiction right? Very proud of you. Thanks again for sharing your update.
Cam, thanks for creating this article! It will definitely aid me to continue not to touch my tempting games. I actually didn’t plan on quitting gaming(I was addicted to LoL), but I escaped the addiction because of my internet was down due to my parents couldn’t pay it due to money problems. The internet was dead cold for a solid week. It wasn’t a walk in the park not playing online games for a week, but after that week the urged to play video games just banished. I tried to play again,but I would literally turn it off in less than 5 minutes because my brain was telling me that it was a waste of time. If you want to quit online games, I’d suggest to cut your internet for a good whole week. After I quit I just played with my siblings, take out my pets out of their cage, dance(popping),workout for 40 minutes every other day, moderate reading, and beatboxing. I can’t go out in the social world since my mom has double job and my dad also works, which is why I can’t wait for the school year to start in 2weeks(senior year!). I’m 17 btw and Cam do you have any advice how to be more socially skilled in after school clubs or in general or this matter. I have to take care of my little sister and brother everyday, so I really can’t fill the social gap. I’m also none talkative when I don’t know anyone in my class. Thanks again!
@ Renzell – Thanks for commenting! I’m really happy you found value in in. It’s amazing what happens when we no longer have internet! One of my friends started a company to help people reconnect with nature and disconnect from the net, it’s called Maven Summit (http://mavensummit.com)! It’s really cool. I try to go hiking and do things like that as much as possible.
For being more social, in class I recommend trying to sit next to one new person every day and introducing yourself. You can do this early in the school year easily! Start small and just ask easy questions (how was your weekend) and then over time you can get to know them better.
When you have to stay home after school I would recommend focusing on using other devices you have, like your phone, to have conversations. I think the phone is super underrated for developing relationships. A good 15 minute phone call can be a great way to build relationships and get to know people better. You can do this from home! Another option would be while you’re babysitting you could take your brother/sister to the park and invite your friends to come hang out. Of course, that depends on if your parents are ok with it, but you just need to get creative. I firmly believe in viewing these types of things as an opportunity to get creative and find solutions, instead of as restrictions. The only limits we have are the limits we set on ourselves.
Good luck and thanks for the feedback! Send me an update when you can 🙂
Excellent article Cam, kinda missed it at a time. Totally agree, have the same issue, but I guess I have more motivation to keep it down, than an average Canadian. So much stuff I can work on to improve myself or study something new. Even if I skip gym for 1 day I gonna be in pain. Also going out helped me a lot. One thing I could add, since I am reading now “Awakening to the life’s purpose” of Eckart Tolle, there is no time missing if you meditate and stay present. You can enjoy the sunset doing nothing. There is no need to fill that time with consuming useless information. Consumption is one of the keys for the game. You do not create anything, just use the product that someone designed for you like a microwave meal or pizza.
The good thing is that there is more and more awareness for this way of living. We cannot be consumers anymore, otherwise we will extinct as a species.
@ Sergey – Sergey! Thanks for commenting! Great to hear from you. I totally agree with you. It’s interesting how we are always drawn to FILLING time… when time is there regardless. I like what you said about the sunset. This is definitely something I am working on as much as possible. Thank you for sharing the insights. I hope you are well.
Thank you so much for posting this great article!! I actually had goosebumps realizing that I can change my life right NOW!!!! Good luck with the website, Cam!
@ Kazakhguy – Thanks for commenting! You can absolutely do it! I wish you the best!
I am doing great. Tons of work to do still. In a perfect relationship now, which is good news.
One of the things I was focused for a very long time is ecological disaster, which is coming. My realization is the key to it is awareness. If everyone will meditate for 20 min a day most of those issues will automatically disapear. Anyway, good luck with the presentation. I will make sure to check it up.
@ Sergey – Great! I’m really happy to hear you’re doing well and you’ve found a great relationship. I’m excited for the speech. Actually appearing on LIVE TV for the first time tomorrow too on FOX to spread the video game addiction message further. Super excited. Have a great day!
I can definitely relate to this, been gaming my whole life since I was 6 years old. I agree with the majority of this article, BUT I believe gaming is something that can be done in moderation, if your will is strong enough and you prioritize your life properly. Anything that provides a sense of accomplishment can become addictive. There are workaholics out there who are addicted to working. People can become addicted to anything depending on how their brain reacts to whatever they are doing. In order to combat any type of addiction, we need to realize how the brain operates and why we become so obsessed with certain things. For example. Marijuana is so addictive because the amount of dopamine the brain releases when it is smoked creates a false sense of achievement – this is why the majority of pot smokers are lazy because smoking pit makes them feel like they are achieving something. The same can be said about pornography and I apologize for getting detailed here, but it must be said. When people look and masturbate to pornography, the chemicals your brain releases and the neural pathways created have very similar effects – causing a false sense of achievement and happiness. I feel something like pornography is an entirely different beast to something like gaming, it has a far more severe immediate effect. Gaming on the other hand is something that can be enjoyed in moderation – and I am testament to this. To cut a long story short, I met an amazing woman who I am engaged to now. A few months after buying Guild Wars 2 and playing it as much as I could, it severely affected my relationship with her and also my career. I decided to quit it cold turkey and I can say without a doubt my relationship with her and blossomed and my career is looking good again. I have managed to find the time to study some advanced networking courses with which I can further my career with. We also had a beautiful baby boy over a year ago which was quite simply put a life changing event. I haven’t quit gaming entirely though, and amazingly enough, my fiancee and I play them together now for 1-2 hours every other evening. Besides going for walks, talking and doing all the things most couples do, gaming is something we can enjoy together in moderation – and that is the key. It is not a priority in my life anymore, it has become just another hobby for us to enjoy if it is raining outside or we are tired of watching movies. But not everyone has a strong enough will to maintain that balance so this article is definitely the way to go if you feel you cannot control it.
@ Jay – Thanks for commenting! I definitely don’t disagree with you about being able to play in moderation. I think too often the debate surrounding video games focuses too much on whether you should play or not, instead of focusing on helping the people who are playing that WANT to stop and CAN’T.
If someone can play in moderation that’s great, just like people who can drink in moderation are fine. But there’s a lot of people who play who can’t stop and it gets out of control, of whom are the focus of the article.
There’s a specific reason why I don’t mention being able to play in moderation in my article and it’s similar to telling an alcoholic they can drink again – it severely increases the chance of relapse prior to full recovery. When full recovery has been achieved people tend to make that decision on their own (to play again or not).
I’m happy to hear that you’re one of the people able to play in moderation. I would also like to point out (mainly for others) that the best way to achieve moderation is to cut it out for a period of time first (as you did) and come back to it when you have more control (balance) in other areas of your life.
Thanks for your input! I definitely appreciate it and best of luck with your family.
Hello Cam. Have you been able to look at the links that I sent you a few weeks ago? What did you think about the 2nd link. It was on game addiction and it featured James from Penny Arcade. For me, his video hit close to home. I will watch his video every so often so I can be reminded that I am not alone in my struggles with video game compulsion.
I think that most people get addicted to video games because the real world sucks. It’s boring. When I am playing a video game I don’t have to worry about my priorities. Playing a video game is much more exciting then going to the gym, cleaning my apartment or updating my resume. Ironically I love cleaning. I can not function in a messy environment. Maybe it has something to do with ADHD. Back to the topic. Video games gave me a way to escape. I felt great when I was playing, but I was trading long term goals for a short term fix. Updating my resume and gaining a skill set that I can use on my job is boring, but the payoff in the long run is huge. Playing video games is FUN but in the end it doesn’t contribute anything positive to your life. You might get better at hand eye coordination and you might be able to multi-task better, but is all that gaming going to have a real positive impact on your life? Maybe if you want to be a game developer.
You can incorporate a few strategies if you want to game casually. I’d like to share a few.
1) Pencil in when you want to play video games on your calendar.
2) Use your phones alarm clock to have it go off when your gaming time is complete. If you want to play for 2 hours set your alarm clock for 2 hours. Once it goes off you have to stop.
3) Use video games as a reward. If you get done studying for a test then give yourself a break and play for an hour.
4) Play only single player games. Stay the hell away from games like Skyrim and WOW. These games are huge time sinks.
5) Play only phone and tablet games. They don’t take up a lot of valuable time and you can easily play on a train or when you’re waiting in the doctor’s office.
6) Keep your gaming to 10 hours a week, and only game on the weekends. This should drastically cut down on the amount of time your spend playing video games.
In my case I’ve given up gaming completely. I don’t have the time and I know that I don’t have the willpower.
Thanks.
Hey guys,
On Friday I appeared LIVE on TV for CW’s Daybreak segment to talk about video game addiction! You can watch the video here: http://kwgn.com/2013/08/30/video-game-addiction/
I also have more announcements coming soon about things happening on the video game addiction front!!
I found this site shortly after my “official” decission to quit gaming FOREVER, one morning on the 1st of September 2013. This college student thanks you dude!
Prior to my avoidance of gaming in the last month, I have been filling the void of gaming with study time and sleeping (Yeah I know…not the most fun activities). But here’s the thing. I’m a bit of a control freak (major understatement there) and nothing makes me feel more out of control than sitting in an exam room tired because my body is still recovering from an all week gaming marathon, and freaking out because I can’t answer the test questions. After I got my crappy test marks back. remember thinking “If only I had an extra day to study…”
That right there was spurred my decision to quit gaming:
So I thought…If I added all the hours I spent gaming the night before and the night before that and so on, how many “extra days” would that amount to?
More than enough time to studying, get some rest, and *gasp* actually build romantic a relationship with one of girls that orbit my college life. Well I’ve packed up my gaming console (and anything related to gaming) and tossed it into the darkness of the attic at home. Drastic? Maybe. But failing to quit gaming before has made me a tad doubtful about my resolve so I’m not falling for the “limit your gaming time” crap.
@ Ben – Thanks for coming back and checking in. Unfortunately I haven’t had a chance to look at all the links. I have begun reading Reality is Broken by Jane McGonical as part of my research in preparation of my TEDx talk on September 21. I certainly won’t have time to dive into too much research but once the TEDx talk is over I will be launching a new program around helping people overcome their video game addiction, so there will be an extensive amount of research I go through as my time frees up for such things. I appreciate you coming back to check in on it.
I definitely agree with you that one of the reasons why people get addicted is because life can be boring, but I do think one of the key differences is that it’s not so much that life is boring, it’s that when someone finds video games it tends to be in during a time in their life that video games are an amaing alternative. The variables as to why this occurs are many, but some of the more common ones for instance are social anxiety and low self-esteem. Let’s take a look a bit deeper into the social anxiety ones, because it was definitely the case for myself:
At school I was bullied a lot and had struggles to connect with people in a social context. I felt anxious in social situations and didn’t feel accepted.
Video games offered me a clean slate. I could be who I wanted to be and nobody knew my history. Nobody had to know I was “unpopular” at school because the only two things that mattered online were my skill level and ability to have a conversation (both of which I was good at.)
To clarify: my issues at school weren’t that I had poor social skills, didn’t know how to hold a conversation, etc. It had more to do with a low sense of self-esteem and the social ladder. Online gave me a perfect alternative.
I imagine many other guys will relate to this.
Now, for argument sake, gaming was a way for me to avoid having to actually learn how to deal with this situation properly. It wasn’t that others didn’t accept me, it’s that I didn’t accept me. It wasn’t that others didn’t like me, it’s that the type of people I was hanging out with were egotistical maniacs. When I quit gaming I made a strong commitment to work on this area of my life and by doing so I’ve found that life can actually be incredibly awesome – more awesome than how I felt when I played video games – it’s just that I had to face up to my own inner demons in order to see that light.
Again, I want to add a disclaimer here that this does not mean I’m anti-gaming, only that the perspective we have while we’re under the influence of our addiction is certainly warped and not the full story.
Anyways, hope that gives a bit more insight. I love all the feedback you gave and the strategies. These are great. I really appreciate you helping to contribute for others!
@ Kevin Raven – Thanks for commenting Kevin! I’m proud of you for making this decision! This can be a huge turning point in your life. Just remember to follow the steps and you’ll find it’s easier than you thought. I hope you come back and update me with your progress. Good luck!
you know what video games are not bad they give you something to do and you don,t need to quit playing them completly just for a day or two and you don,t need to limit them
@ Wiley – I appreciate you leaving your feedback. Unfortunately too often the debate surrounding video games focuses on whether you should play them or not, when it’s like saying should you drink or not, if you can do it in moderation who cares.
But what if you can’t? What if you want to stop and don’t know how? This is the person I wrote the article for. Thanks for leaving your comment.
Hey guys.
Quick question.
I’ve been asked a few times to start a forum for you guys to interact.
My question is this: Would you prefer a forum (on this website) or a private FB group?
I’m open to either one and just wanted to get more opinions on it. You can reply back here or email me: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
I tried to quit games a few times. I uninstalled everything on my pc and stopped playing right away. It lasted a couple of months, but I got back to it and now I’m on the same position.
While I didn’t play videogames I didn’t feel as excited doing things. I started learning to draw, paying atention to drumming practice and other things. BUT, none of them felt as exciting. Progress was slow and frustrating, the results were very far ahead and I didn’t enjoy the process very much.
So, that’s my problem. I can’t feel excited about anything else. I just need to feel good doing something else that I like and enjoy it. So far, I haven’t found a solution…
@ Rui – Thanks for commenting! For most of us it takes a few tries. I know I didn’t do it successfully the first time. I would definitely encourage you to try some type of intense physical activity – like a sport. The reason is because you can get a similar type of stimulation (lost in the moment) from this as you did playing games. Try rock-climbing maybe! 🙂 Just don’t give up on it. Pay attention to the other reasons why you play games and what you get out of them. Find those in other areas and you WILL be able to stop.
I decided to quit permamently, i uinstalled the games. I didnt even finish reading the article.
I stopped drinking and smoking like this.
Some guy February 15, 2013 at 5:47 pm
Hi cam, i am a very big offender, and i too want to give up video games.I Think the biggest reason, is because they are children’s toys, and its time to move on to do things with my life.I am a terrible offender still, and i am also an offender of being on internet a lot.
I have actually stayed up 24 hours playing 1 videogame, and over 48 hours up until sunday in the past playing everquest.Sometimes i actually stayed up till 1 or 2 am.
I stopped doing that though.
I was thinking i could just sell them, and get rid of all my game copies, and then do something else, but i am also in a tough situation where i am also in an awkward social situation.I think i am at least a good part responsible of isolating myself from my friends, and far too distracted.
This is my response 6 months ago.I changed the name here to psycho cyan so you know who i am.I am still alive playing skyrim.
I have some advice to some people:Work helps keep your mind off videogames and whatever addiction you have.Books are also good distraction to have after work.
Online games are the worse types of offenders, because they are time sinks.When you play an online game, you have to consider that you can’t pause the game, and in raids, you might become a pariah if you leave raids early, like what happened to me.I can speak from personal experience, because in a group, people will get angry if you leave early.
Nice article, it really helped me. The day before this post I had played around 2100 hours of Team Fortress 2 which is a multiplayer fps by Valve. One of the driving forces for my addiction to TF2 was the fact I was in 2 competitive teams. That sense of belonging and working together with other players to strive towards a common goal was very fun. I constantly tried to be the best in my team and gain recognition for my skill. This caused me to play TF2 constantly practicing and read strategies in TF2 forums nearly every single day.
Today in a practice match with my team I decided to switch my role with another team mate. He completely out peformed me and was the best player in the game, my team leader even decided to give him my role since he played so much better than me. I felt jealous and angry of him until I realised…it was just a game. TF2 had taken over my entire life these past 2 years and to the point I began hating on another person just because he was better than me at a video game.
This post marks the first day to recovery, it’s going to be a long and difficult road ahead. I’m glad I read your article because it really helped me understand my addiction.
@ Rudenick – Thanks for commenting and congrats on being able to quit smoking and drinking! I definitely encourage you to go back and finish reading the article. There’s a ton of great advice for you to be able to maintain your distance from games! Come back and give me an update when you can!
@ Psycho-Cyan – Thanks for commenting once again! One thing you’ll notice as you read the comments is how many people are very similar to you. Everybody here has played a lot of games, but the good news is that we have been able to move away from them! This system DOES work 🙂
How do you feel about your social skills now? Do you feel like you’ve made progress on them?
@ Kevin – Thanks for leaving your comment! I definitely relate to the competitive side. It’s really cool as you move away from games and back into other activities you’ve always wanted to do because you realize it wasn’t the games it’s what you were getting out of the games. If you can understand your motivations for playing games you can understand what motivates you in other areas of life. Understand you CAN do it, just like so many others have in the post. If you are struggling come back and read through the comments. You’ll be able to find answers you’re looking for. Let me know if I can help you in any way. Best of luck!
Hi Cam,
I posted earlier here on August 6th. Now I am doing a study Accountancy, which is a tough study. I find myself to be playing less games, not because I don’t want to, but because I have to. The fear to fail is somewhat motivating me. I just have different priorities right now and need to focus on what’s important for me. When I have free time, I would play games casually. I haven’t completely quit gaming yet, but I find the fact that I am studying and making new friends is a good start already to get a more social life. From my experience, I find work or school to be a cure from games. Getting motivation out of fear seems to be working for me. But I was wondering what you think of that kind of motivation, it is different from what you would recommend.
Hello.
Im 11 and when got my new computer (about 3 years ago) i just started playing games constantly, i get home from school, play games, go eat,play games and go to sleep, i play piano but its doesn’t fill my time at all. I can stop playing games but im just bored, i have nothing to do. For example only thing i think of is sleeping and playing games. I dont like sports (i actually tried aloot but i suck at them (so i get mocked aloot) and thats prob why i hate them) i cannot find any activity, i want to stop playing games but for example, when i get time limit (how much i can play) i just become very agressive, and im lazy to study (that prob doesn’t really matters so much now), go any advices? sorry for bad english not my 1st langauage
@ Tom – Thanks for coming back and giving me an update! I think the value is in understanding what your motivations are, not so much what mine were. Although of course mine are a great way to begin learning about yours, and from the comments a lot of guys have talked about the same motivations, everybody is different. I’m proud of you for taking positive steps towards studying and making new friends. Do you have any tips for others to start making new friends? What’s worked for you?
@ Ivan – Thanks for commenting! Amazing that you are 11! Your english is great! Good job! Ok so if sports aren’t something you enjoy a lot, what are other activities you’re interested in? For me DJing was an example. Piano is something cool for you but it’s not enough. If you read through the comments there’s a lot of other suggestions. Have you tried martial arts? I would recommend checking out something like that, where it’s more about camaraderie and not as competition/ego-focused. Also something like rock-climbing could be a better alternative than team sports where you feel unaccepted by the team. Are you interested in art or drawing? What about coding? I would also recommend creating a bucket list of things you’d like to do eventually. This can be anything and everything, a travel destination, a hobby to acquire, any type of goal you have! This list will give you a lot of ideas for things to start pursuing. Just know that you can absolutely move on from games. Try to work with your parents on it and talk with them, so they understand you’re trying to move on from them but you don’t know what else to do. Remember you’re on the same team as them! Come and update me again soon. I hope you have a great day Ivan!
I recognize myself in many ways with what you wrote Cam. The same games, the same will to stop and the fall back into it.
I quit for a few months this year but since I moved away from my country, I am playing again instead of doing real things for my life. Your text gave me the motivation to once again uninstall DOTA2 and Steam ! I have plenty to do and I think I can easily fill the 4 pieces with sports (I am running and doing Karate) which fulfill the growth, challenge and even the temporary escape, and socializing by being in a new country.
I am tempted to count the days just like an alcoholic will count his sober days, but when I quit smoking several years ago, the time I succeeded to do so is when I didn’t count the days. It took many years for me to be disgusted by cigarettes and even when I drink I don’t want one, so for this current video game addiction I know at some point it will probably be the same, but until then this is an everyday fight.
Thanks for sharing your experience with that, which I see is really beneficial for a lot of people.
Hello CAM, this is the first time Im on this site and I must say this article is great. Ive been struggling to quit video games for a few weeks now and while I really wanted to, somehow I couldn’t. I didnt play “that” much, but the impact gaming had on my life was huge. I always was a good student, last year I fulfilled my dream of going to a med school to become a doctor only to fail the exams because of video games… I was playing while pretending that Im studying, I kept telling myself “Ive still got some time left”. The worst thing is, my friends didnt know I was playing and they knew I was a good student, they would never guess why I failed the exams and kept saying I shouldnt worry, it was not my fault, maybe I was stressed and all that stuff – they encouraged me to apply to the school once again. I’ve got a lot of good friends, Im a very “social” person and still none of them knew I was playing. I felt ashamed by playing. I knew its bad and doesnt give me anything. So Im not like the “usual” game addict – still, the way playing affected my life is BIG. It was more important than my DREAMS! My case shows that a lot more people can have a game addiction, some youd never think of… I was always working out, studying, learning foreign languages (including english), had a lot of friends… everything was fine except the fact I was spending countless hours at night in front of my laptop. I’m really glad I found your article man! While reading, I logged into all of my game accounts and deleted them. And I am not “hoping” I will overcome my – Im not scared to say that – addiction. I know I already did after reading your article. Ill let you guys know how Im doing in a month, after my next try at the med school…
cheers
@ David – Thanks for commenting! It’s pretty incredible how many of us are the same. It’s something that continuously blows me away. It will be the same as cigarettes. Over time you care less and less about them. The key is to not go into it expecting it to be easy from day 1, but, every day you stay true to it you will get closer and closer to that feeling where you don’t care about them! I’m proud of you for committing to this change. You won’t regret it! Come back and update me when you can!
@ Paul – Thanks for commenting! Welcome to the site! We are very happy you have found us. Be sure to check out the other articles on the site too. Med school is amazing! Karim, my partner in crime on Kingpin just graduated med school in Ireland! I totally agree with you that not all the people that play are the common stereotype. The common theme is that we all feel similar when we play. We feel ashamed that we waste so much time on these games and that we don’t pursue our real dreams and goals. We all share that it’s hard to get away from them, even though we want to! Definitely come back and update us! We’re really proud of you Paul! Thank you for the kind words and sharing your story. Good luck in Med school!
Hey, just have to say that I like your article. I never played games nearly as much as you (8 hours a day is insane :O), I just naturally get bored after an hour or two. I absolutely LOVE video games, and I don’t plan to ever stop playing them completely, but your advice is good for those that do nothing but game all day without any other purpose.
Also, you should have probably put a disclaimer that this was made for people with massive gaming addictions. Run-of-the-mill people that play video games are just fine doing what they’re doing, it’s the crazy addicted ones that need the help.
Hi Cam, thanks for your article. I’ve stopped playing videogames since I’ve started university, but during the weekend (especially on Sunday) I have some spare time which I don’t know what to do. I started boxe, found a job and I also started improving my social skills, but I think if I only play one – two days a week in the weekend just for fun, there is nothing wrong on it.
What do you think and what do you suggest me about this? Sorry for my english.
Gabriele.
Hello, Cam! I am writing you because I have read your article ( first time on this site) and will try to follow it for the next three months starting 22 September to 22 December, combning it with other life changing programs like the ones provided by John Kehoe, Robin Sharma and Randy Gage. I hope in the next three months to make progress on changing my life for good. I have started getting fat since the day I could afford to buy a PC game and now I am obese and have problems with that every day. Games didn’t let me the time to go to gym or cook properly. I have problems with communication and relationship with women.
I have played FIFA and Football Manager proffesionally for 4 years, won a lot of tournaments on ESL, then I switched to League of Legends. I was tryharding to become proplayer for 3 years, before I finnaly decided that this will not help me in life and it is a huge waste of time. Any online multiplayer games you play not for fun, but for competition is waste of time. I lost connections ith my best friends, because of this game, with the reason they were holding me back from success.
I have spend more than 10 hours almost every day playing this game, last year playing without any enjoyment, but for competiting in the ladder. I have lost many friendships and more important I didn’t spend enough time with my grandfathers, who tought most of the thinks I know. I let them down and they are now gone.
I didn’t went to parties, because I had to play LoL. I tried to socialize as less as possible, so I would have time to get better. I avoided contact with people who didn’t play the game. I even wrote the name of every single item and hero and tried to combine them – in class. I failed to go in better university, because I was too busy playing games.
There is much more to be said, but it is already long enough, so that is what I have been through playing competitive games.
Best regards,
Ivan
@ Aaron – Thanks for the comment! I appreciate your feedback. Awesome to hear that you’ve been able to keep it in moderation. Their is a disclaimer near the top of the post! Hope you’re having a great day!
@ Gabriele – Thanks for commenting! I think playing a little bit here and there is ok, but be careful, it’s very easy for it to start turning into more and more time and it taking over your life, so just be accountable to that. You mentioned you have free time and that’s when you want to play, so maybe consider what other hobbies you could try instead. Sometimes the reason we want to game is just because we haven’t ever done anything else in our spare time and gaming has always been our go-to. Let me know what you think! Please come back and update me when you get a chance!
@ Ivan – Thanks for commenting! Sounds like you’re ready to take on the world with these new changes! That’s super exciting!! I just want you to know it seems like you’re making all the right decisions right now and that you’re on the right path! Now you just need to keep going. It’s going to be awesome for you to look back in a few months, a year, two years, 5 years and see how far you’ve come! Remember, don’t worry too much about regretting the time you spent gaming. Instead focus your energy on starting this next chapter of your life. Gaming was a fun chapter in your life too, but now you have new goals, dreams and aspirations and it doesn’t involve gaming, so you can move on without worrying too much about it! Best of luck and please update me with your progress!
Im 14 …..almost 15 and i have been into gaming since 3. It began with some little retro games to what i am now. 40 mins of pc gaming daily and over 5 hours on a weekend day. Its very hard to leave gaming because i not only play games but am making some simple ones. So if i still game but with reduced time will it help? Im an A/B student and without gaming i cant focus on studies properley. Help me. What should i do? What activity should i fit in?
@ MQ – Thanks for commenting! So cool that you’re 14! You can always try reducing your time. In my experience it didn’t work because the reason why I was playing wasn’t fixed.. so whether I played 40 minutes or 5 hours I still wanted to play more and more. I would still highly recommend for you to try and find other hobbies you can enjoy instead of gaming, that will still help you focus on your studies. Reading through the comments you can have a ton of cool suggestions, but I would recommend martial arts, learning an instrument, a new language, joining a gym, any sort of after-school club, etc. Try a few things and see what you enjoy. Rock-climbing!? 🙂
Em hi, my name is Ren. Tats something i wanted to ask. ^^. I wanted to quit video games. This is because I saw my other friend is very good at socializing(we are now separate)and good in study(many girls around him) . During tat time i wan to become like him. But my effort is not enough, I got study but I cant quit the video game so cold enough. Every time go back home i sure on my computer to play dota. Last time i play almost everyday and 8 hours. Nowadays I just TRY to play one game in each days. and then continue my study. I cant imagine to have one game in every day. So what should i do?
I have a dream. Tat dream is when these few day i start to find out one online game tat have level to compete with. Dream: I want to be THE BEST in this game. THE BEST! I want to. But I dont know why I want to. But thats my dream after all. One say tat we live once. Do whatever you want in your life to make sure u have no regret. Do you think i should continue my dream or i should quit and bcome the friend tat i admit. Which more important? Pls help me and analyse for me pls. If u can help me, I will appriaciate it.
Em hi, my name is Ren. Tats something i wanted to ask. ^^. I wanted to quit video games. This is because I saw my other friend is very good at socializing(we are now separate)and good in study(many girls around him) . During tat time i wan to become like him. But my effort is not enough, I got study but I cant quit the video game so cold enough. Every time go back home i sure on my computer to play dota. Last time i play almost everyday and 8 hours. Nowadays I just TRY to play one game in each days. and then continue my study. I cant imagine to have one game in every day. So what should i do?
I have a dream. Tat dream is when these few day i start to find out one online game tat have level to compete with. Dream: I want to be THE BEST in this game. THE BEST! I want to. But I dont know why I want to. But thats my dream after all. One say tat we live once. Do whatever you want in your life to make sure u have no regret. Do you think i should continue my dream or i should quit and bcome the friend tat i admit. Which more important? Pls help me and analyse for me pls. If u can help me, I will appriciate it.
@ Ren – Thanks for commenting! It’s a tough question, but one you should definitely explore. Many others have commented that they had their dream of being a pro gamer (even me!) but after quitting games I realized I had other dreams that were more important to me and when I started going after them I was much happier. Something to pay attention to is whether you are actually happier when you play games or if it’s more of a “I feel relief because I’m not having to face the struggles I have in other areas of my life.”
I would recommend quitting games for a few months to take on other activities. Use this time to work on your social skills. Give it a few months and then re-evaluate. From others who have quit they’ve realized they really did WANT to QUIT games, and they just needed to do it for awhile. Make sure you come back and update me on your progress 🙂
It’s been over a month since I quit gaming and visited this site. To be frank, I don’t really miss gaming at all but here’s the problem…Gaming was a huge part of my identity (well at least from most people’s point of view).
I used to be the go-to guy for all news video game related so people are beginning to pick up a few hints even though I haven’t told them that I quit gaming last month. Even my mom was puzzled when I said I didn’t want any video games for my birthday.
My best friend recently sent me and invitation to join an online gaming crew that he’s starting for a new game that came out (gulp). Man it sucks because it’s something that we’ve always wanted to do but I obviously have to decline since I quit gaming. I don’t have even the new game or the bandwidth for that matter. Argh! I can tell he’s going to be bummed out. How do I even tell him I quit gaming without the awkwardness? It’s like Bruce Wayne suddenly telling Robin that he’s done with being Batman.
@CAM
I’m alive! been real busy in the summer, and now med school’s a lot of work!
You wrote this in an earlier post:
“@ Ben – The first half of the book was written last year and I haven’t touched it since. The main reason is that I feel like this is a subject I want to spend real time writing a “proper” book for, instead of just putting out a short 30-page ebook expanding on the original post. I don’t think the book will be done any time soon BUT there are potentially some HUGE announcements coming up in the next 2 weeks, which, if this one announcement goes through, there will be many more to come, including definitely a timeline for finishing the book, and many other elements that will be amazing.
There are a bunch of studies that show benefits to playing games, and I don’t disagree with them. The area that I differ is on whether video games are the most effective approach to learning these skills when it comes with a high risk of addiction. I agree that certainly video games can train certain skills, and I’m also a big fan of using the gaming framework (called the Adult Learning Model I believe, aka gamification) to learn and educate, however the content of the games is very important when it comes to this.
I haven’t spent an enormous amount of time researching Jane Mcgonigal’s work. From a few videos I’ve watched, I can see the angle she is taking and also don’t necessarily disagree with it, however I’m unsure how much it applies to the hardcore gamer.
Something I notice a lot is that the arguments typically fall to whether or not you should play video games.
This is NOT the central element of my argument. My concern is for the people who play games because they have to, the people who play games even though they want to quit and do other things, the people who play games and feel completely trapped by them. My focus is more on the addiction side of games, and not even necessarily the addiction side of games themselves, but of why certain people get addicted to them and cannot stop. Whether or not you should play games has a lot more to do with who you are and where you’re at in your life and less to do with whether games have benefits or not. Although I do believe it’s entirely possible for games to be played in moderation, I am focused on the best approach to getting to that point, and one of the best approaches I’ve seen is by moving on from them completely for an indefinite amount of time.
The people I’m concerned about are the ones who have other dreams and goals in life who are painfully wasting their potential in games. This isn’t my own belief about their situation, it’s THEIR belief about it. That’s a BIG BIG difference. Even though Jane may have some good, valid points, I wonder if she’d really recommend many of the readers or commenters of this post to continue playing games.
Unfortunately in my opinion, this is a group of people who are being left behind. People are more focused on whether or not you should play games and missing out on the key element of WHO is playing those games. The hardcore gamer trapped in games is being ignored, and video game addiction is absolutely a growing problem. If you look at video game trends it can be startling to see where things are going.
This is the group of people I remain focused on helping. I also don’t think video games have to be the end all be all. There are other parts of life you can enjoy just as much if not more than games, and this doesn’t make games good or bad, just different.”
I can relate to Jane a lot in this instance.
The vast majority of people, especially today, with the advent of mobile gaming and so on, aren’t hardcore gamers. This blog of yours is the very top search on google for “quit video games”, and yet there are only a few hundred/thousands posts on it (I apologize if that sounds extremely belittling, thats a great deal and it’s really impressive, but considering that there are hundreds of millions of gamers it’s a really small percentage of the overall population). The vast majority of people handle gaming fine.
I’m not saying that gaming addiction isn’t a problem. I’m not saying that it shouldn’t be taken care of. I’m just saying that to suggest that the risk of addiction is extremely high is, first of all, flawed, and second of all, does not take into account the differences in individual cases – different people find it easier and harder to become addicted to things, such as gambling, drinking, and yes, gaming (the reasons are probably a mix of neurobiological and social/environmental factors along with how the life of the person’s going).
I don’t think either Jane or I would recommend the vast majority of people who’ve posted on this blog to play games – at least for a good while. However, to suggest that those who post on this forum is representative of the majority isn’t right.
You rightly say that addicted gamers are those who are left behind(I dislike the term hardcore as synonymous with addicted – it is possible to play games ‘hardcore’ whilst not being addicted, and that the focus is on who is playing the games, and that how much and where you are in life also matter. Yet what you wrote at the beginning of this blog completes goes against that! It bashes gaming, ridicules the thought of it as a career, and focus on the problems that gaming poses and not on the group of individuals who have a problem with gaming. I really feel you should change it to reflect the much more appropriate view you’ve placed here. Furthermore, I could easily say that the reverse is true – that there are still rampant stereotypes running around regarding gamers, especially among the older generation, and the negative effects are often exaggerated and sensationalized. Look no further than some of the famous shootings in America done by some who played games, and the immediate blame on gaming that occurs after such cases (apparently according to these people insanity just doesn’t exist – they should really learn some medicine!).
Finally, I want to mention a few things about gaming and the online medium in general, and one of the things I find great about it. To do so, I’ll talk about a friend of mine, who we’ll call X. Now X is very short, is double jointed, extremely skinny, and overall looks unusual (I don’t think he’s ugly, but even if he was I wouldn’t care less). I knew him from the start of secondary school. He was and is a wonderful person, but because he didn’t fit in, and wasn’t big and strong like a guy should be, he was shunned by virtually every other member of the year throughout all seven years of secondary school. This made him really reserved (except with me and a couple of other individuals). However, when he was online, such as playing games online, everyone liked him, he was really talkative and happy, and he made good, long friendships lasting to this day. After a while he’d connect with some of these friends in real life, and they wouldn’t really care how he looked, or moved, or his voice, or anything like that. Someone like this friend of mine struggles a great deal to forge friendships face-to-face, because he doesn’t fit in, and people are generally far shallower than they realise in real life. But the online medium and gaming removes this barrier, and it’s something I’ve always loved about it.
Finally, I want to link a site that I found pretty awesome(may have linked this before, but still awesome): http://gamessavedmylife.tumblr.com/
@CAM (again)
You also said this in your beginning post:
“But a major reason these people are overweight is because they’re lazy. (I know it’s not the only reason, but let’s be real here, it’s a major one.) ”
I don’t think that’s a particularly fair comment – food addiction exists and is a serious problem, and it is far harder than you can imagine to change your eating habits (which are the primary reason for people being overweight, rather than lack of exercise), as well as your exercise habits. These people aren’t necessarily lazy – someone addicted to alcohol, for example, may find it difficult to quit not because he’s lazy but because of the difficulties in doing so, and the same applies here.
Very good site and good reasons to stop playing video games.
Recently i decided to let go (again). Again? Yes.
I have had many tries.
The second last try was when i had finished Kingdom Hearts. All these Disney Cartoons i likes once, only small fragments to fit into an action game that doesn’t bring half the fun the cartoon movies did.
Reason now? I have been playing Epic Micky. All these old cartoon situations when entering a new area. That did it for me. I thought once again for why to go through a video game and play all these sequences i do not particularly like? Why not just sit down and watch the classics? No stress. The classics in their full picture/details.
Way better time machine and so much more than just a few selected classic moments that come paired with raving silly video game moments i definitly won’t go through a second time.
Other thoughts i have lately are like how many times i would care to play a game like Twilight Princess once i found all the secrets? How many times could i care to travel all these labyrinths in any Zelda game over and over again? And why?
Or collecting all the stars in Mario Galaxy? Once i discovered anything there is, why bother again?
In the end it’s like watching a movie while playing these games again. Minus the fun, plus the repetition that comes with the game when playing it again.
Now i start to understand why video games will never outrace movies or music.
A good movie i can enjoy years later again and again. Like good music.
And its not driving me insane. I do not have to scout silly stituations to make it to a good spot that brings the fun.
If i watch a movie that has an embarrasing moment, i just go through it or fasten forward. No sweat. A song on an album i do not like? Skip button.
But in a video game there is no other option other than to play through that rage inducing situations just to see the sweet spots of the game.
Movies and music are totally different things to enjoy. Or reading a book. If i read a book again i can read faster or even skip sites as i know what happens and what i do not want to imagine again (just for an example).
But again, in a video game i can not skip the unnerving situations.
Big minus for video games.
Next thought goes for the lenght of modern games.
Yesterday it was a breeze to complete any game for 100%. I’ve had lot more time at hand. Not that much to do as i have today. No business schedule. And games, once you cracked them, did take only up to 90 min or maybe 100 min (like Mega Man 4).
Zelda for NES? Once you knew your path, no sweat.
But games today are meant to entertain me for endless hours (and i do not speak for the online crazy yet). There is no time to finish a game in under one month or maybe less than two.
God damn Twilight Princess took me 16 hours of game time to find one lousy chest that contained a little key. In real time i have no idea how long it took me to find that thing.
That’s an important factor. Game time vs real time.
Watch a movie that tells you it takes 100 minutes of your life, granted it will take no more than said. You know how much time you will use up for watching a movie or listening to music.
Reading a book is somehow different but a lot better than video games.
I can have my pause whenever i need. no worries about virtual places to save my progress. And once i lost it a bit i can go back some pages and re-read. Video game like Epic Micky? Once you forgot something and saved? No chance till you restart.
A movie, a music cd or a book are so forgiving.
Maybe in numbers video games seem bigger, because of the prices. But overall video games are minor.
And one more idea i had when thinking about video games. For listening for all my music CDs, no matter of genre, pressed in the 90s or 2000+, i need only one device.
Video games? Different story.
With the generation of consoles that includes the PS2, XBOX and the GameCube things got demented. You wanted classic Platformers – GameCube. RPG-fan – PS2.
To enjoy any available genre that exists, and those are many, i have to buy any console in every new console generation. That sucks big time.
And with the current ‘en vogue’ thing to add up to games via DLC. It got worse.
Let’s recap some of my personal points now growing bigger against the idea to play video games:
1.) time consuming. Way too much.
2.) I depend on virtual save points to get my pause/break from the game. (when i need to go to bed, go to the bathroom, want to eat something without having the console powered up awhile)
3.) to enjoy multible genres i have to buy at leats two consoles and maybe even a handheld.
4.) I have to buy a new console for every new generation to get the latest games played.
5.) I have to go through unnerving situations every time i play a game again.
6.) Do i really mind to play 20+ hours into a game for a sweat game over sequence?
7.) When someone comes by it is easy to interupt your movie, music listening session or lay your book aside and do something else very spontanously.
8.) and one more to go. I have had a good laugh when watching the Naked Gun 33 1/3, just yesterday. I do not remember when a video game gave me a big laugh the last time. Really i can not tell you.
Some more?
Video games can look sweet, but they are never as sweet as candy.
They can be in HD, but your natural surroundings are more so.
Real life challanges are not repetitive. There is a constant change. Even you try to do the same in a certain situation, the result is different.
In video games characters do only interact when You press a button, while in real life people like to talk to you first. And YES, if you do not want to communicate you can walk away.
Real life is so much bigger and better.
Maybe my personal thoughts are no big reasons for others to quit video games. But for me every little thought counts in and adds up for me to never play video games ever again.
Every little detail that makes a change how i perceive video games.
For everyone else who seriously wants to quit playing video games, very good luck.
I know how difficult it can be. Especially after playing for more than 20 years.
Maybe my personal reasons can help some a little to think about it.
@CAM
Great post. It has changed my life for the better. (cries)… I just feel that video games have consumed my life so much that i was unable to see the bigger picture and develop my abilities. I always wanted to study English and reading variety of books and have a good friends but unfortunately now just when I’m beginning to realise what has been done with my time that I need to change I only have 1 last year at uni to go. I have failed in my exams in 2nd year but passed them in resit in summer so now I am doing my last year but I have never developed any ability in my life. Either I went forward with my career by copying other peoples work and now that the work load is high and difficult I am not able to understand anything because video games have destroyed my brain and given me OCD. I want to have a social circle of few friends that I can interact with daily but the very thought to meeting the same people I have avoided for 2 years now is scary. What should I do?. Help me please!
thanks for this article i found it encouraging 🙂
that being said i quit LoL yesterday and i want to say it as i quit and not as i tried to quit or wanted to i really want to think of i actually did it following up is a tl/dr of my history of gaming noone really needs to read it i mainly wrote it for myself if that makes sense.
well i didn’t really have much of a gaming history until not too long ago (even though i am 23) like okay i had a ps1 (actually still have it somewhere) but i never really excessilvely played it or more than an average kid really not daily either. didn’t even get the ps2 or ps3 but my cousin did and i only would really play lots (as in getting up, gaming, lunch, gaming dinner, gaming or tv and not much else) when i was with my cousin at my grandparents over the weekend which didn’t happen very often though maybe 3-4 times a year between maybe 2002-2007 but it kinda scared me back then in my teens in some way but it was also fun so i didn’t really thought much of it. the thought of those weekends kinda made me want to be more distant to games which is probably a reason why i didn’t play any games until the spring of this year where i mainly fell for grouppressure because of online friends (which pretty much indicates already that my problems lie with mainly the social aspect of the game) i met over a forum that had nothing to do with gaming and we like had a skypegroupconvo going (forever pretty much it’s still existing) and i felt kinda left out when they were like sry abt to play some games or w/e and well a game takes like 30 mins sometimes more sometimes less so i was annoyed for the longest time by their behaviour until i gave it a try (big mistake). i played an average of 6 hours a day if i was home when i wasn’t home i was on holidays and didn’t play but yea i obviously was home most days. although that might not be as bad as 10-12 hours it was bad enough and i just don’t want to deal with it anymore?
i told myself heyy just do it as a reward. failed. heyyy just do it on fridays. failed.
those things might work for some ppl i am not saying it is wrong to do it as a reward or limit it to once a week but it just didn’t work for me not for now anyways and i figured out that i need to learn how to fill that void other than with skyping, playing LoL, wasting my time online for hours in any way really before i can even consider saying yes if someone asks me to play a game. that being said i am optimistic that once i did fill that void with something that makes me truly happy instead ot LoL which i mainly did to avoid feelings/problems i will probably look back at how i was with all that online stuff as something i really don’t want for myself anymore.
Read this article.
Agree with every single word.
Almost shed a tear as this is almost what my life looks like.
Gaming has been an issue as I’ve always been insecure. I’ve tried to gain confidence by improving and showing people what I can do (Only in video games though…)
At the point where I figured that I was actually really good at certain completive games, I lost control. The so called “success” took over everything, which made my insecurity even worse. Specially as I was trying to hide the fact that I spent way too much time playing video games from my friends, family and especially ME.
After a while I tried to quit, which didn’t lead to anything. Got back into gaming, which takes (again) way too much time. Ended up doing the same thing as before, which ended up on a second attempt of quitting video games.
And here I am, battling with the same issues. But this time I have decided to quit. 100%. Focus on real goals. Not virtual points or trophies. And especially, work towards my dreams.
After reading this article I unplugged my console. For the last time.
I do have a strong feeling that this article will be one of the most important things I’ve ever read.
Sincerely, thank-you.
hi guys, cool i dont have to register to leave a comment.
Im on a long journey already, and for me, i can say for now, im not addicted anymore.
if i dont had such a huge problem working in a part time job, getting trieded like a dog, i wouldnt care about the addicting. But what a addicting looks like?
1: sitting with other players in Teamspeak
I have to say i wouldnt call that addicting, i would call that friendship, having a good time, but the problem is tho, you sooner or later getting problems with your life, and then you cant count on your internetfriends.
2: commpetion
You want to be the best out there, and i tried for many years, and i couldnt accomplish this thing. Thats hearts me day in and day out. Everybody says train harder train more, but i did that and it didnt helped me at all. If your not GM in Sc2, you should know what im talking about.
3: just chatting+ playing
i dont know about this
————-
so if you are willing to fight your addiction there are some easy things you can do:
gaming in general:
just take your pc/console, take a hammer and smash it, burn down the 500-1500$ you just spend. Its such a good feeling and watch what happen. low laptops can be bought for 50$.
play without chat. play without sound. play lefthanded
such as for number one:
break your headset, throw it away and dont join voicecommunication tools anymore and look what happen.
number two:
if your fine with your part time job, and training is everything for you, its cool. But you should atleast concider a plan b, if not, you will be staying for the rest of your life in that part time job, if you get lucky and dont get fired and ending as a homeless person.
so luckly for me, i also did my school such a bit, that im able to study now since plan a didnt was a thing of succuess.
i wish you all the best!
Hi guys!
Its been exactly one month since I quitted. Im doing good so far, got good notes at the uni and didnt fail a single test:) I was TERRIBLY tempted to play sometimes tho and Ive got a bit of trouble concentrating. Mostly because of that gaming past, but its getting better. 2 weeks ago I caught myself wanting to get back to games after watching twitch.tv! I blocked the site with an extension for chrome. A few days ago I was very tempted to play “only one game” after seeing some LoL-related vids on the YT homepage. I downloaded the client even… fortunately I deleted the client right away without even logging in. Phew! So Im not doing bad, keep your fingers crossed for me. Guys above, dont give up! And uninstall TeamSpeak, block the forums/chats and twitch…
Paul
JD – Dude, dont give up! Id suggest not unplugging the console, but selling it:) and use the money to get something else, try to go to a climbing gym, buy a bike, or spare for a trip:) Ya wont need that thing, playing doesnt give you anything!
cheers
Paul
WOW guys! We’re over 1000 comments now on the article. It’s truly incredible. Amazing for it to happen right around the time that my TEDx talk (inspired by the article) will be released. Expect to see the video posted in the next 10 days or so.
@ Kevin – Thanks for commenting and congrats on reaching over a month without games. It really is incredible how when you move away from the games you realize you don’t really care that much about them. In my TEDx talk I talk about how it’s not about the games it’s about what you get out of the games, and by understanding why we play games we can unlock the power to move on from them. By paying attention to why we play games we can begin to understand what motivates US and use them to help us pursue the things we truly want – whatever that is.
I definitely relate to gaming being a huge part of your identity. I talk about this in the speech as well. For me gaming gave me an opportunity to start fresh on the social ladder. At school I struggled socially but online I was judged based on my ability to play the game and that’s it. That makes a big difference!
When I quit I had a few of those awkward conversations as well, but it’s not really that big of a deal. It sucks but it’s better in the long run. Whenever my friends asked me to play I would just simply say I wasn’t playing games and that was ok. Some of them understood, some didn’t, but I wasn’t looking for their approval. I knew I had to quit for ME. What I would encourage you to do is if this is a friend you want to remain in contact with, try to find commonalities outside games. That way he doesn’t feel like he lost his friend. Good luck and thanks for posting an update!
@ AK – Welcome back! I always appreciate your dialogue, and in fact, much of our discussion has helped shape my opinion for the TEDx talk and other important media pieces like the TV appearances, etc, so thank you for your input!
Although I understand where you are coming from relating to Jane, there are definitely a few things to keep in mind when looking at the # of comments. If you look at general conversion rates, it puts things in perspective. For instance, every day there’s around 200 people who find the article simply by googling for it. The blog post was published on May 26th, 2011, so it has been live for 874 days. If you do a rough calculation that ends up being 1.15 comments every day from 200 people who view the article. 200 people x 874 days = 174,800 people have viewed the article so far, with the vast majority (over 80%) of those being people who have directly typed it into google.
Now that number may appear low compared to the millions of gamers worldwide, and in many instances you are correct, however do consider that there is also only a small percentage of gamers who would use google to seek the answer to their problem, and it’s certainly not accurate to assume people who don’t search for it aren’t just as hardcore/addicted/whatever word you want to use.
I think the problem of video game “addiction” is easy to minimize as not that big of a problem, but it also highly depends on what the definition of the problem is. For instance, recently during an American holiday (labor day), I was out for lunch and I witnessed a very sad scene.
A family of 5 (father, mother, younger son and 2 teenage daughters) were out for a nice holiday lunch. One daughter was clearly not happy and refused to participate in any interaction. The other daughter was playing a game on her phone, also refusing to interact, and the son was as well. The mother was on her phone too. It was easy to notice the desire of the father who wanted to interact with his family during their holiday lunch, yet nobody would interact with him. It was again, easy to see the pain he had in his eyes as he continued to try and interact and received no dialogue back. After 10 minutes of this he opened up his phone and began to try and interact by sharing what he was finding on his phone.
This exact situation plays out in many homes all over the world at an increasing rate. It would be hard to say any of them were “video game addicts” or that any of them would go so far as to google for a solution, however it certainly did not minimize the frustration of the situation.
Anyways, once again, the people I want to serve are the people who are posting on this article, and others who may find it useful in their own scenarios. The benefit of someone who may not be as hardcore as others who read this post is that it will be significantly easier for them to break the habit and go back to playing moderately or some circumstance such as that.
To address your friend X, I have spoken about this very situation in the TEDx talk, so I’m excited to hear more about what you think after the video is posted (next 10 days or so!)
With many addictions, video games, alcoholism, food, the emotional drivers are the key to moving past them. The reason this article has been successful in helping people move on from games is because it helps people understand WHY they play games, which helps them unlock the power to move on from them. The same goes for drinking (tends to be a desire for “numbness” or food or other addictions). When it relates to obesity, there is no doubt that food and diet are a major factor. Laziness is as well. My point for that paragraph is that if you think you’re going to change anything while being lazy it’s not going to happen, and people are able to relate to the obesity argument which is why I’ve used it. Of course it’s not black or white, only again with this article in particular, my main focus was communicating to people in a way that would hit home for them and help them internalize the information (being a bit polarizing helped that).
As always, appreciate the dialogue. I’m excited to hear your thoughts on the TEDx talk, because obviously standing on a TEDx stage you have a different level of professionalism you must adhere to, so I shaped my argument in a way that I hope you will enjoy. To be honest, I’ve only edited this article one time and that was to remove the language around “pick-up” and the majority of the swearing, which was difficult for me to do simply because the article is so successful at helping a certain person move on from games, and I’m hesitant to change the article much in the event that it removes the element that has worked for these people. I care more about the people it’s helping than I do the people who don’t relate to it as much. That group will find their answers without the article, regardless.
@ Michael from Germany – Hey! Thanks for commenting. I will be in your lovely country next week! Don’t worry about the number of tries you’ve had. Many other people who have commented have had multiple attempts as well (including me!) I definitely encourage you to focus on the amazing things you want to do outside of gaming. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in why we think games are bad or good, when really it comes down to the simple reality that we have other goals we want to accomplish and that can be simple enough. Consider writing down a bucket list that you want to accomplish, it can be a great start! I’m happy you were able to share your thoughts with us. They are great points and they will definitely help many other people.
@ Sharoze – Thanks for commenting and for your kind words. I’m glad you found value in the post! I definitely relate to you and having games consume so much of your time. Moving forward it’s important to not look back at the time you spent gaming with regret and instead focus on the awesome things you want to accomplish moving forward. This will be inspiring! There are many other people who have commented who have had video games affect their grades and university life (this is very common), but try not to stress about it. You can’t change what you’ve done but you can change what you do moving forward! I would recommend taking up a few new hobbies where you can meet some new people and develop new relationships. You can also reach out to those friends you haven’t seen in a few years and reconnect with them. Your brain may feel destroyed right now but soon it will come back! As you move away from games you will feel your brain changing for the better, back to an inspired state. I also recommend getting physically active. Start moving your body more, going to the gym or joining activities that are social and full of physical exercise (rock-climbing gym or martial arts!?) Just know you CAN do it. So many others have and you are no different. Please come back and update with your progress when you can!
@ Marina – Thanks for commenting! I’m really happy to hear the article is encouraging for you. This is why I wrote it in the first place! 🙂
I relate so much to having social problems in life. Where do you feel you struggle with relationships in person? I would recommend joining some group activities in person like martial arts, rock-climbing gym, a co-ed volleyball team or something like that, because it allows you to meet many people who are on your team and you can become friends with them. It’s clear you’re looking for more social interaction in groups, so that can be a great way of doing it! I also want to say great job noticing that you need to move away from games. It takes a lot of courage to notice this and move on, so good job! Let me know if I can help in any other way!
@ JD – Thanks for commenting! Your words really mean a lot! What are your real goals? Will you share some of them with me? I’d love to hear it! I do hope to continue a dialogue with you!
@ Mike – Thanks for commenting! I definitely relate to hanging out on Teamspeak with friends. Question is, what friends do you have in person? If you don’t have many, how could you change that? Is it something you want to improve? Thanks for sharing your wisdom with the rest of us. It helps so much for other people to be able to read from others experiences!
@ Paul – Thanks for commenting and also, thank you for helping others in the comments, I really appreciate it! Congrats on reaching your first month without games! Feels great doesn’t it? The first month is always the hardest. Now it’s just about remaining focused and continuing to push forward. It can be easy to start feeling like you can play again and things like that but I encourage you to be disciplined and remember why you want to continue not playing. You’re already past the hardest part, no need to go back now! I remember when I first quit commercials were some of the hardest things to watch because they would make me want to play, so whenever I say an ad for gaming or anything I would change the channel as quickly as possible. This was a positive decision I made! I hope you come back and update me with your progress soon! Have a great day!
Thanks guys, you all rock!
Guys! We did it! TEDx talk is now live.
Escaping Video Game Addiction, TEDxBoulder 2013: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHmC2D0_Hdg
Help spread the message further by sharing the video!
@CAM
Just watched the video on youtube. Great job there. As you know what is was like to be an addict to video games you understand how to talk it out properly.
I hope that adults and kids equally will notice this video and think about it.
br
@ Michael – Thanks for commenting! I’m super happy with the respond from the video so far. Thanks for helping to continue spread our message 🙂
So i started studying for a week and stop already. Last time i was atleast 3 month there. I dont think of me as a failure, its just that i dont have any motivation. its cost so much power and the reward is mostly that you have a paper in the hand at the end.
I dont have this power anymore.
I talked to a hole lot of guys @ university but its always the same. We cant get along. Its just sooo boring, boring, nothing to talk about. Because i dont have any interests. Not even gaming anymore. And if i meet a gamer, i just wanna slap him in the face because hes such an asshole flaming me all the time online. Actually, after such a long time playing so much games with assholes i know that everyone running outside is a asshole too. I learned alot about humans online actual. I got skills but no paper 😉
I came to a point where is no point in life anymore.
And if we look about what is life all about, it is about your the boss or your the slave.
you have money or you chase the money
——————————————————————
The only problem i really have is to find a way to get enough money to eat with a work i like to do, and i cant find one so i have to wait till the day i may find one. So i can live a life where i can respect myself.
I mean, pushing a key is so much easier than pick up a t-shirt from the ground for example. And i can push many different keys in the time that i get the t-shirt up. What i wanna say is, that the t-shirt still laying around and i dont have any motivation to get it up, because i see no difference in the t-shirt laying around or not for me. Actual, writing this text is worth more than cleaning my whole apartment 3 times a week for a whole month.
@ Mike – Thanks for commenting! I really appreciate you sharing your story and what you’re currently struggling with. Especially when it comes to motivation, SO many others struggle with it too, including myself:
I wanted to share a quick story with you on motivation:
A quick story on motivation:
Imagine you had to carry a 40 pound bag across the desert. How motivated would you be?
Not really right?
What if that 40 pound bag was your son… and he was sick? You’d be pretty motivated right?
So that’s the difference in PURPOSE. When you have purpose you have motivation. When you don’t have purpose you don’t have motivation. Viktor Frankl says in “A Man’s Search for Meaning” (great book btw!) that the last human freedom is the ability to give meaning to the experiences we have. I find a lot of people expect motivation to just occur… or purpose to just come out of nowhere… when in reality, we have to DECIDE what the purpose is, and why it’s important to us, and only then will we have true motivation.
– –
Does that make sense to you? So right now you aren’t feeling motivated, so try to think about WHY you want to do the things you want to do. You said that life is about answering to your boss, or you’re a slave, you have money or you have to chase money.
I would challenge you to think outside the box. 5 years ago I was working a job I didn’t like and I decided to quit and become my own boss. That seems simple but at the time it really WAS that simple. I didn’t have any education to fall back on, no business experience, etc, but I just knew WHY I wanted to do it – I didn’t want to have to work for someone else, I wanted to control my own destiny. So I did that, and figured out how to succeed at it instead of viewing obstacles are restrictions.
What is it that you want to do for work? You mentioned you want to get paid for doing something you love, so what do you love? Let’s brainstorm some ideas together!
Hope you’re having a great day!
@Cam thanks for your time, hear are my answer:
i actual would like to create something and then sell it.
Something where the tools i need to create are easy to learn and cheap.
Something that is actual something good where the world can benefits from.
Something where i would could say. Yes, this is worth the effort i put in.
->Mabye Something that require some time but the way to get there is fine and fun. (the way is the goal?)
Something where i know i can do it
Something that everyone could do and still would sell.
Something that i could do alone if i have to.
Something that i could do right know.
Something that has a actual outcome.
Something that i could do with my hands (and require a brain if i have one).
Something that would actual sell.
Something that i can pay my taxs too.
Thats something i would like to do, i guess 🙂
————-
sounds like programming, but im too dumb for this shit -_- and its not worth the effort
So this would be my dream, but we should not forget about the reality-check. And i lack at math and creativty. And you need both for this kind of job.
so today i wanna work @ a custumor service and answer e-mails and skype calls. Why? because im the nicest guy on this planet. And you can trust me.
Hi Kingpin/Cam,
I’d like to start off by saying how great this write up is and how you continually check up on comments by other members of the community. This is probably the only website I have found that is down to earth and doesn’t beat around the bush. I will bob my two cents in and hopefully you and the community may have some input for me.
I’ll start by saying I’m in my early twenties, studying aged care (also working in the industry) and about to start studying/ working as an enrolled nurse. I love this type of industry/job and is something I wish to purse into my future. I am single, from a big family and living independently which is a bonus compared to others out there in the community. I have Anxiety and Depression for which I believe I have had my whole life.
I don’t smoke/drink or do drugs but after many years I have finally come to the conclusion that ‘Video games” are my ‘drug’. They have impacted my life, chosen my friends, ruined opportunities and assisted in ruining my relationships with family/ friends/colleagues. Ever since I remember I always loved and enjoyed video games, whether it be the N64, Gameboy, PlayStation series, Xbox series, PC and whatever else I could get my hands on. From shooters, sporting games, role playing and pretty much any other genre I missed, not to mention getting the latest and greatest game out. Video games for me have become very social (meeting other players, making/being in a clan) and beating dickheads just so shut they’re mouth. But this has all come at a price and even at my age now I cant stop playing them. I even have put off assessments for the courses I am studying until the last minute and even then Ill try to get ‘game’ time in when its overdue. Sometimes Ill stay up for 36 hours and just play on the Xbox 360 (Online of course), meanwhile I could be studying, getting more work, saving and who knows what else. I am thinking about selling every console I own and hoping that my ways will change from actually not being able to access it.
But I know I will find or buy another gaming device which is obviously back to square one, not to mention my social anxiety makes it very hard to join/connect with sporting teams/clubs/friends and whatever else is out there. I am sicked to death of the irongrip this addiction has on me and how I am getting no where in life as a result of it.
I am one hundred percent ready to quit but I need help. Thanks for reading my poor me story and I hope that something comes out of this.
Regards
Aus Male
Hi Cam,
Your article is even more than awesome, you totally understand the gaming addiction problem I feel.
As for my own story, I’m currently 19 and play competitive Starcraft for 8 months by now. I’m a college student who wants to become a doctor in the near future and I’m unable to balance SC2 and school to stay with excellent grades. I really like this game. I am a member of french canadian clan of NA server where we are more than 300 passionate SC2 players of every level (bronze to GM). Last saturday, I decide to train with a clan member a match-up and push back my studies to sunday. We started on noon and we stop at 6pm because my partner had to leave. And I lost every single games, I was so angry about me… and then I was thinking about what I had just done. I scrap an entire study session to not even get better at SC2. I was so depressed and angry, I took out all my SC posters to garbage and unistall SC2, quit Facebook and all those SC fan pages, unsubs SC youtube channels and everything in my computer and my room about SC. And now that i accept my failure on saturday, I am starting to think about restarting SC2 and my motivation is a Korean player called Polt. He’s a famous terran player that I love to Watch play and imitate his playstyle. I admire him because he can balance study and SC2. He currently learning English at a Texas university after leaving a ”Havard-like” university in Korea. I WOULD SO MUCH LIKE TO THIS THIS AS WELL !!!
So now I’m seeking for a possibility to make a Schedule about SC and study… am I looking for trouble again? I don’t know, it seems this guy is doing it. This is my problem.
I tried my best for English, my first language is french. 😀 !
@ Aus Male i can understand what your going threw. I think that there is always a possiblity to study some more or do things that might be “more sensible”. But in reality, its so that we all need some downtime where we should feel free to do whatever we want. The question is, how much time you are willing to sacrifice to your career. You sad you love your job but that should not mean that you do it 24/7.
So your start studying and working again. Thats nice, isnt it? many people in this world are just doing their 8 hours work and than go home and do whatever. So you should ask you the question why you want to do more than that? You seems just happy with playing games.
I think the problem is that you want studying 24/7 and your body dont allow you to do that ;). So you get burned out and play 35 Hours straight. I dont think you should have any problems to say tomorrow i dont play any games. And talk with your family about that problem. There can support you! Im sure that there will understand you if you say it right and you can work something out with them. Mabye you lock up all your game divisces if you have 2 weeks to go for a big assessments, and send the key to your family.
its all about trick your mind in that way its working for you.
@LOUIS_731
whats the difference between studying english and becoming a doctor? you answered yourself. You need to be fucking smart and have to fight for your dream.
so what about polt. he mabye played sc2 day in and day out 16 hours a day for years and has the talent and the support (korea) to actual get the opputunity to become a sc2 pro.
So accept that your bad and will never be so good as polt, because you
You are not polt. You are LOUIS who wants to become a doctor and should dont care about what a random sc2 pro does, because you dont wanna sacrifice so much time in a hobby. you should care more about your ranking in his class. In 5 years, who will know about polt anyways? Dont end up like Dessrow 😉
I got rid of games cold turkey over 7 years ago now because WoW took over my life. After that I somehow ended up in a long term relationship with a video game developer who plays games every second that he’s not coding one. It wasn’t a problem at first, but he doesn’t seem to understand that there’s more to life than the games and how it can be a serious productivity problem for me (and him! we would never do anything if I didn’t push him once and a while). He always wants to play games with me and doesn’t understand my reluctance (I know I will stop doing real life things and stop caring for myself if I do, and he’s seen it but he doesn’t get it). Otherwise the relationship is great, it’s just I don’t know if I can live with someone who is basically an enabler. It’s like being an alcoholic and living with a bartender or something.
hey cam, nice article btw , i am a really good gamer like you i dont spend much time “practicing” or playing with a team i’m just have natural skills in gaming but lately i love working instead and this has given me some good tips. thanks!
Hi Cam, I keep an eye on this article as one day I know there will come a time when I am not such a big gamer, it is inspiring to know you are not the only one who has seen the addictive and destructive to some extent side of gaming, I am a heavy gamer, due to the lack of a job, the lack of prospects, so am looking into focusing more on my music and maybe becoming a big youtuber, already done a few vlogs and one lets play, but I’m easily distracted and can always find a reason not to do productive things, I don’t want to quit gaming and I personally feel once I have reasons for quitting, I will leave it not forever , but so that it is no longer a problem in my life
@ Mike – Awesome! Thanks for coming back once again. Programming can be really cool! You’re definitely not too dumb. Have you tried to use codeacademy.com or anything like that? I’d highly recommend it! Also another good resource is khanacademy.com for learning math and other subjects. Something to keep in mind is that even though you may not have the best skills that you need, you can always acquire them! That’s what’s so cool about skills. You can learn them! I would encourage you to take it one step at a time and focus on learning slowly but surely! You CAN do it!
Also thank you for adding input to others. This is really valuable to me because sometimes it’s hard to respond right away. I do my best! The TEDx talk has increased the amount of comments/emails so now it’s much more challenging. The video was just posted on team liquid as well so that’s a lot of commenting to go answer, haha! http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=433158
@ Aus Male – Thanks for commenting! I appreciate your kind words. I never expected this article to get as much attention as it has, but I’m super glad it did because it’s allowed me to connect with so many amazing people! I definitely relate to you re: Anxiety and Depression. These are 2 issues I’ve had throughout my life as well. There’s a great article on anxiety you may find useful: http://charliehoehn.com/2013/05/19/how-i-cured-my-anxiety/
Shoot me an email, I’d love to connect with you more. cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
Also I want you to know, you’re in the right place. If you read through these comments you’ll find you’re not alone and that many many others have and are going through the same struggles as you (including me!), but that progress IS possible and you ARE able to overcome it. Thank you for sharing.
@ Louis – Thanks for commenting! I really appreciate your kind words! Really cool to hear you want to become a doctor. My younger brother is going to school to become a surgeon right now. He used to game a lot too. It’s possible to play in moderation for sure. I think one of the big things is being able to stay disciplined to your studies as much as your SC play. This is HARD but is doable. It comes down to your own personal responsibility though. Are you able to hold yourself accountable? I think too often we try to rationalize these things when sometimes the right thing to do is to just step back for a bit and we can always come back to it later. Maybe try a schedule and if it’s not working you can stop again. Also, great English!
@ Lana – Thanks for commenting! This is definitely a problem other women have commented about. It’s difficult because I know for sure that I’ve been in that same position. Why would I go out on a nice date when I could just stay home and play video games? It’s not that they don’t care about you or anything, it’s just the stimulation they get from video games is very very different and hard to replicate in real-life interactions. It’s not a “better or worse” type of debate, just different. That’s why I believe a period of detox is necessary to re-calibrate. From the sounds of it, that may be difficult for him because of his job, but I would encourage you to not sacrifice your life and your happiness for a relationship. That’s a pattern that leads to suffering. Maybe it’s time to start focusing more on what makes YOU happy and consider what parts of your life are helping that and which are not. It’s ok to focus on YOU. Please keep me updated! I’d be happy to talk with you via email as well. cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
@ Christopher – Thanks for commenting! Really cool to hear you are loving work lately. I really enjoyed it as well when I quit gaming and had a job. Making money was nice 🙂
@ Pixc – Thanks for commenting! Awesome to hear about your passion for music. Go for it! I share this passion and what I’ve found is that no video games compared to how I feel when I’m making music or playing a DJ show. Go for your dreams, you won’t regret it! If you want help with finding a job or prospects, email me cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
Hey Cam…
I saw your video on you tube and I was impressed. You nailed it man. You didn’t vilify gaming. You talked about the underlining issues to video game addiction. It’s not about the video games and this is an important this to remember. In my case, I have always had a difficult time meeting new people. I am a shy person. I’m more comfortable spending time alone. Also, I don’t have high self-esteem. I can get angry, frustrated, and envious very easily. Not good traits. In addition, I struggle with depression. I think moving to South Korea has done wonders for me. I’ve been able to see that life is truly wonderful.
I agree with you 100% that the I-pad is not a baby sitter. I was out to lunch a few weeks ago with my Korean friends and their children. Their children are 3-5 years old. During lunch they spent 90% of the time glued to their parent’s smartphones. They were either watching a cartoon show or playing a smartphone video game. Every time I go to their house their children are always glued to either the smartphone or I-pad. I’ve also noticed that when the parents take the device away, their children get very cranky. They start to cry, rant, and throw a tantrum until the parents give up. They will then give them the smartphone or I-pad back to their children. The parents are unknowingly setting their children up for a major addiction to technology and gaming. I can only imagine what they are going to be like in 20 years. Also, when I’m on a subway in Seoul practically everyone has their faces buried in their smartphones and I-pads. No one says hello. No one even recognizes your presence. It’s a very sad thing. Video game and technology addiction is not just a Western issue. It’s an issue that’s currently affecting the modern world.
How do we fix the problem? First, you have to be aware that you have a problem. There are so many people in self denial. Second, I believe that you need to look inward. Why are you spending so much time playing video games? Are you naturally a shy person? Do you lack self confidence? Does addiction run in your family? Third, you need to develop a plan of action. Replacing your video game addiction with a healthier one is a good start. Going cold turkey is very difficult and rarely works. In my case, I developed a passion for exercise and eating healthy. I go to the gym 6 days a week now. I’ve gotten into weight training, and I just started Intermittent Fastening. The side benefits of weight training are great. I feel much better and I’m releasing endorphin’s every time I exercise. This helps with my depression. I’m also setting daily and weekly goals when I’m in the gym. This has an impact outside of the gym as well. I feel more confident and I can handle day to day stress. Instead of running away from my issues I take them on.
Can video gaming lead to addiction? In my opinion it is a disorder and can be highly addictive. When we play a game certain areas in our brain light up. The feel good chemical dopamine is released and this causes us to want to pay more. It’s the same with gambling and sex addiction. If we engage in this activity daily, monthly and for years it becomes very difficult to break. Game developers know this. They develop their games to be highly addictive. This in turn increases their profits. WOW is a good example of this. Anyway, game compulsion is now considered an addiction. Anyway, Internet gaming disorder is being considered a true addiction as described by DSM. http://www.dsm5.org/Documents/Internet%20Gaming%20Disorder%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf
Video gaming and technology addiction is going to be a HUGE problem in the near future. I can already see it coming. I just wish more people would open their eyes to this as well.
Ben
@CAM
Great talk, not vilifying gaming and talking about what makes it potentially addictive to a certain group of people was definitely the right thing to do.
Regarding addressing my friend X, I really don’t see how in his case you can consider gaming to be a problem. It has helped him gain confidence and friends both online and in real life, as well as having been fun. Even at university where people are often less childish he struggles to make friends in person simply because of his appearance, tone of voice etc – the online gaming medium removes those barriers and lets him shine as the great person he is.
Also played 20 hours a month with friends is a lot? I beg to differ. In my case I have friends in my country at other universities up to 100-200 miles away, and friends abroad 1000s of miles away! Talking and gaming online is a great way to catch up and have fun together (though haven’t had much time so far this year to game with them – goddam medicine, activities, going out).
Regarding the ipad comment, I agree – how people in my family use it is that we play with the young ones, for example I play with my 5 year old cousin on the ipad (as well as board games and physical toys), solving puzzles together (though I often encourage him to do it with help from me if necessary as they’re usually easy for me) and so on – interaction not just entertainment.
@ Ben – Thanks for commenting! I definitely relate to how you feel about being shy, wanting to be alone and struggling with self-esteem. I’ve experienced these and also depression as well.
I agree with you that awareness is a key first step. Although some of the feedback I’ve received on the video asked for more practical steps to approach the problem, I felt like the best thing I could do in those 6 minutes was to speak to the scale of the problem and bring awareness to it, so the conversation may shift and more concrete solutions can surface. Changing the conversation around gamers and gaming addiction were the best foot foreword in my opinion.
From the sounds of it you’ve done a great job moving forward in your life. I think exercise is absolutely one of the keys, especially because the endorphins are a crucial piece to improving your mood and outlook on life, including your confidence.
I would be shocked if the DSM didn’t include an official acknowledgement about internet gaming in the next version (version 6 if I’m correct) in a few years. I think they took the appropriate step in the DSM-5 by acknowleding it’s a sector we need to research further. I definitely agree with you that the trends for the future look inevitable and urgent attention is necessary.
Thanks for your input. This comment will help many people, you’ve done a good service by sharing your insight.
@ AK – Thanks for the compliments. I really appreciate that you enjoyed the talk.
I definitely agree that playing games online can be a positive catalyst to improving your social skills and confidence. One of the arguments though would be at what point does this become a crutch?
I’m not sure where the 20 hours/month came from and I wouldn’t suggest that to be excessive. I’ve gone back to look for this but didn’t see it at first glance.
Hi again! You asked what were my real goals, and I think sharing them with people shouldn’t harm anyone.
I’ve been away from gaming (a bit hard though), but I think I’ll make it. Just a part of the process.
I did mention about working on my dreams, and one of them is definitely traveling around the world. See different places, meet new people, absorb new perspectives.
I’ve been collecting money towards that, and I hope that soon I could see London first. Either alone or with some friends.
@ JD – Thanks for commenting! I definitely encourage you to share your goals with people, because sometimes they will be able to help you achieve them! Also congrats on being able to move away from gaming! Remember, the hardest part is the beginning, so the fact that you’ve come this far already is a testament to your success moving forward!
Traveling has been a major goal of mine for a long time as well. I’m currently traveling around Europe for 2 months and it’s been an incredible experience. I’m alone, but I Skype with friends and also have a few friends to meet up with in different cities! I highly recommend it! This has been a goal of mine for over 5 years now!
@CAM
Here it is:
Cam February 2, 2012 at 11:56 am
Hey Shaq. Thanks for adding your input into the discussion.
Congrats on your first month video game FREE! With friends is fine, just remember not to use that as justification to play. If you end up playing 4 hours a month with friends that is FINE. If it’s 20 hours with friends that’s a different story all together. 😛
It was a while ago, so it probably doesnt reflect your views now, was just surprised when I saw the comment is all.
Regarding playing online to improve your confidence, and at what point does it become a crutch, well in the case of my friend it’s not so much a crutch as in he finds it difficult to socialise face-to-face – as I’ve already mentioned he finds it difficult to fit in. I encourage him and he does have some friends irl, and he’s comfortable with us, and he enjoys interacting with us irl, so I think in his case it’s the right thing to do. As a general point though, I totally agree. Using it as an escape from real-life social problems – long-term – can be dangerous for example (though using it to escape your problems e.g. bereavement or other serious problems has helped people I know cope with issues like that in the short term, stopping them from losing it).
@JD if you want to come to England I’d recommend going outside London, London is not very british, I’m still to go to London, but I have seen so many nice parts of England, it would be a shame to see something like London but not those 🙂 enjoy it definitely a good goal to have
@ AK – Thanks for finding that. Ya, definitely not as serious on the whole thing. 20 hours is an interesting number to consider, regardless.
I definitely think using online games to improve your confidence in the case of your friend can be a good tool. I guess I also have a strong belief that improving your face-to-face interactions is entirely doable with a degree of education and commitment, and I guess most importantly, I think there can be so much power in improving this ability that it’s worth the investment. I guess it’s along the lines of being one of those major paradigm shifts in your life that can open up so many other possibilities. Just food for thought from my experience.
@ PIXC – I was just in London a few weeks ago, it was awesome. In Prague now!
Really surprised to see this on google haha. I was expecting the usual lame advice. Cool thing is I’m also from Calgary as 1.6 more than a full time job for me growing up. Now I’m playing FIFA 13 way too much. Thinking I should put away the games for good but havnt found enough reasons but I think this is it. Going to put my past behind me. Cheers to your success!
@ Kyle – Thanks for commenting! Also, very cool to hear you’re from Calgary. Definitely focus on merely closing this chapter of your life and moving forward towards a new one. You can do it. I absolutely believe in you. Let me know if I can help out any way.
Damn sounds tough. I’ve been addicted to video games forever. I’m in college and it’s ruining my college life. It’s already ruined my high school life and I’m lucky to even be in college. I quit cold turkey at the end of high school but like you, I picked up league of legends a few months ago. It killed my grades this semester. I quit about a week ago, and I hope to God I can stay off it. Thanks for the article, man. Now I have to learn the social skills that I couldn’t learn in my childhood because of games, which is gonna be super hard…
@ James – Thanks for commenting! You can definitely stay off of it if you commit to it 100% and put in the work outlined in the article. It’s not enough to simply quit, you really do need to find other activities to replace video games. Otherwise… you’ll just keep going back again and again.
Although learning social skills can be intimidating, it’s entirely possible to do it – especially if you have the right guidance from a mentor. A major reason why it’s intimidating is because you don’t know where to begin. Email me if you want to chat more. cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
Hi, Cam,
I am very surprised and reassured that I am not the only one out there who is dealing with this terrible addiction problem to point of affecting our daily lives. I consider this problem serious and psychologically challenging for us game addicts. After reading your article I felt that you’re hitting the nail on all important aspects of this horrible addiction and I believe that there is more to this problem, psychologically as well.
Over the past years, I’ve being wrestling with this addiction on and off, and has not being successful. Now it has being getting to the point of affecting my studies (where I barely graduated my college but has being failing to pass my license test, I am a physical therapist assistant by the way.) Failing my license test the 2nd time has hit me psychologically again where over the past few months I’ve being playing games as means of temporary escape, as you have stated on the article, which had grown serious to point where I had not being eating well (lost 20 lbs in 2 weeks) and I have being disregarding even daily house chores to the point where my room felt like utter crap. I’ve lost touch with a lot of my friends and family due to this addiction and struggling to find a job again so that I could save and reenter for the test. At the present moment, I am slowly improving myself again and dealing to get this problem over done with.
As my final thoughts on this comment, I feel very encouraged that I am not alone and also wanted to be part of the team to fight this terrible addiction.
@ Eric – Thanks for commenting. You’re definitely not the only one. If anything, this article is proof (from the amount of comments) that there’s many many more of us than we may have realized before!
If you apply the advice in the article it WILL make a significant difference. If you read through the comments you’ll see many other success stories from people just like you who have managed to overcome their own addiction. This is an important step because it shows that it’s entirely possible to do it!
Best of luck and let me know if I can help you in any way.
Since you are dedicated to help people with such terrible adictions I would like to ask you a question. I have an adiction to leave coments on stupid web pages. Can you help me?
@ Leandro – Haha. I hope your comment isn’t an example of one! 😛
Hey Cam,
(Sorry, this might be long but I don’t even know what to do anymore.)
I understand that I may be one of the 1000’s or even 10000’s individuals to respond about how much this article relates to them, but honestly I truly feel that you are probably one of the only individuals that might truly understand where I am coming from. Here’s something about me before I continue: I absolutely LOVE challenges/competition beyond belief, to the point where I would give up sleep/responsibilities and do everything in my power to see how far I can test myself.
Don’t get me wrong, the first 2 years of high school I joined Track/Field, Cross Country, Basketball, Football, and Badminton. All equally challenging sports in their respective fields to see how far I could go. Most notably, I have a few MVP’s for Cross Country and went as far as OSFAA Champions (Regionals / Ontario Provincial Championships) in 4×100 relay and 800m for track and field.
Moving on, I eventually started playing games and I could sit here and list the 1000’s of titles but I’ll save you the time and name some of the more notable things. It all started with Warcraft 3 – Frozen Throne, it began when I was invited to WCG-C (World Championship Series – Canada) to play 2v2’s but at the time I was too young. Soon after I moved onto Counter-Strike 1.6 one of my favorite games, something I’m sure we shared a similar path. I played in CEVO-M and CAL-P for my respective teams to which I’m sure you know takes an extreme amount of dedication and hard work into.
Fast-forward to when a game called DotA gets introduced to my life. Now I want to put it out there that literally, this game has THE highest skill cap out of all the games that I have played to this day. Why? Simply put, after you learn how to farm creeps(last hit/deny), how each hero has its own 4 different unique skills, and how there are over 120+ items to build your hero differently. On top of that, there are over 110+ heroes to master all having different attacks and how they interact with opposing heroes along with the endless combinations of items they may interchangeably use. As a cherry to top it all off, drop 10 of these heroes and combine them with 10 different players along with different play-styles. The combinations are literally endless; not even mentioning over time heroes get buffed/nerfed and new ones are introduced along with new items.
My whole point to my last paragraph is, it is a game that has a mastery level that is so high into the clouds that even the top-of-the-top at DotA do not have true mastery over every hero in the game. Even myself, having poured in 14-16 hours a day for weeks/months straight and VERY easily over 20000+ hours; literally over 5 years of my life of on and off playing. I, having mastered several heroes, have changed when the game’s meta or the addition of new heroes/items appear.
Now, with DotA there have been moments where as I have peeked my head over the clouds. Reaching heights that less than 1% of the population get to experience; playing internationally with some of the best teams/players in North America/Europe.
Where has that put me now?
Ironically, it has put me into one of the deepest depths of trying to find a NEW passion/hobby that can even attempt to remotely fill my desire for my greatest pursuit: The Greatest Challenge
Why is it so hard to let go?
After reaching such a high level of play in the various games out there: RTS, FPS, and MMOs attempting to find a hobby/passion that encompasses the same challenges that only another top level dedicated player through thousands of hours can provide. It’s like trying to start basketball and becoming satisfied only after reaching to play at a level of an NBA player.
To reflect some key points in your post Cam,
I really don’t know where I can find a challenge with the same type of depth and complexity that would encompass the same level (if not higher) of skill and most importantly having an opponent to test that on.
In short, learning how to play instruments or doing art feels like its missing the high-speed competitive aspect of it and conversely at sports which contain the high-speed competition but being restricted to what I can play at a locally.
My gaming addiction is so deeply rooted in me Cam, that is affecting my overall life. Currently, my cry for help can only be shown through my passion of beating high level players that have put in the same blood sweat and tears into gaming itself.
Please Cam,
I am looking for your help.
Hi Cam,
This article was very inspirational and a good motivation for me. My parents have tried very hard to stop me from playing, but I always find a way to play with out them noticing. What are some ways that I can quit since I dont have a high self esteem?
Thanks for writing this article.
@ Bruce – Thanks for commenting! It’s great to hear from you. I’m very happy that the article has connected with you in this way. I definitely relate to you about the high degree of competitiveness.
What I would recommend for you is to think about how achieving these various titles makes you feel. Is it a feeling of self-worth? A feeling of acceptance? Something else? Think about this over a few days and let me know what you think. Sometimes, at least in my experience, I’ve found that this type of competitiveness comes from wanting to feel good about myself, wanting to feel worthy and accepted. Games gave me that opportunity on a hyper-accelerated level.
Of course, this is not to say that being highly competitive is bad at all – because it isn’t. I’m mostly just focused on understanding (in your situation) what the motivation behind it is, since this is what’s causing you to pursue games on such an extreme and as you’ve said, it’s affecting your overall life.
Feel free to email me directly: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
@ William – Thanks for commenting! I would highly recommend working on your self-esteem. This can be a frustrating challenge because it takes time and it’s not easy, but ultimately it’s about finding ways to interact with the world where you feel proud of who you are. Games give us a strong sense of identity, so when we quit it can feel like we don’t know who we are anymore. This is why it’s important for us to find new activities and start to work on the areas of our lives that are causing us to feel shame, such as our social skills for example.
I would recommend finding a new activity or two that you can join that’s in a group setting. Something like a rock-climbing gym or martial arts. This will still give you the community feel that you enjoy from online games, but they are also active (this is important!) and will still give you a sense of accomplishment. Feel free to update me on your journey, I’d love to help any way I can.
Hey!
I’ve just found this website and it really sticks out from the rest.
I’m 16 right now and ever since I was little, about 8 yrs old, I’ve been playing video games due to influence from my older cousins who play them themselves. Everyday when I get home, I won’t study but instead just browse through the internet, watch tv series on my laptop but most of all play games. I play dota 2, world of warcraft and more games but I am managing to keep up my grades. My grades are average Bs to B+ And ocasionally Cs. I am currently part of my school’s track and field team, but right now I feel like I am wasting my life. I really don’t know, maybe because it’s because my parents told me about them wanting me to change maybe due to me and them arguing frequently or what not. I don’t know if video games are the problem. Is video games, being a part of my daily routine bringing me down? I feel like I can do many more things but not exactly sure what they are or where to start. Should I comepletly quit video games and by doing that will it really help me in life? Right now I am lost, I don’t know what I can do to start living my life and not wasting it. Or is my life okay just the way it is right now?
@ Matt – Hey Matt, thanks for commenting! If you feel like you’re wasting your life than quitting is definitely something to consider. The question I have is: what would you be doing that would make you feel like you aren’t wasting your life? Do you have any other goals or hobbies you’d prefer to be doing?
Hello Cam,
I really appreciate your article and I have a bit of a dilemma at the moment in regards to videogames. I have been playing games all my life, my parents played, my mom works in the game industry and I started collecting as soon as I got the means to. Collecting was more interesting to me than actually playing games, as knowing where the games fit into the culture and the industry (Its easy to articulate now looking back, then if you asked why I collected I would have shrugged my shoulders and said i just like it ). Up until recently I bent over backwards to not let it get in my way. There were times I didn’t play games for months, anytime someone offered to do something, or there was an opportunity to go out I would opt to do that instead of play a game. I was a good student all through high school and loved it. I did badminton, fencing, had a flourishing social life and enjoyed it thoroughly.
After High School I didn’t have the means to go into university right away, and worked so i could pay for community college while I was attending it. I floated for a bit, not really finding anything new or interesting to me. The people in community college were solemn interesting to me, and the whole experience really just felt like high school part 2. I made few friends during this time from college, non which I still talk to. I met some people through my existing network I had built up during high school.
Last year I transferred to a University far away from where I lived. At this point I was in a long-term relationship which both of us tried to keep alive long distance, and we held on for a year. During this time I was very active on campus, meeting many new people. I still played and collected, but not to the degree I had before, however I did ensconce myself in the “nerd communities” on campus (the big ones being the Anime club, the Board game club and the SiFi society) with intent on leading, and practicing group organization skills. This summer, I was back home visiting my girlfriend. Toward the end, we broke up as the stress of a long term relationship proved to be to much for both of us.
Right after I went to Argentina for a month as part of a study abroad program. This kept my mind off of everything for a while, as I was busy with research and other things. However I picked up the habit of excessive carousing (something which is extremely easy to do in Argentina). Here, it meant going out to the night clubs and drinking and partying all night, literally until 7 in the morning many nights.
When I went came back to university in September, I almost immediately fell into a bad place. I didn’t really want to hang out with people I already knew, and meeting new people became painful. This is extremely abnormal for me as usually meeting new people is one of my favorite things. I felt (and continue to feel) alone and empty.Video-games and carousing seemed like the only thing that make me feel good even if it is a shallow kind of good. I tried lots of other things, I tried just about every club on campus, including physical clubs like karate or fencing (something which I use to love), to community clubs which specialize in community service, to academic clubs. None really satisfy my the way doing new things use to. Every few weeks I would quit, and go back to these two past times as they never really let me down.
Last week I decided to quit video-games as a temporary measure to try to find a way to feel good in a productive way. Lately I’ve taken up cycling to fill the void, and it feels good while I’m doing it but its almost more time consuming than gaming was for me, and number of routes by where i live is extremely limited so I’m finding Its getting less and less satisfying the more I do it. Carousing seems to be creeping in more and more into my life.
I’m not sure what I had was a game addiction, but I keep getting an overwhelming urge to go back and play something, as a part of my brain tells me its less destructive than the drinking and partying that takes its place. I don’t know how much of what I’m feeling is a result of ending a 2 1/2 year relationship or boredom with what I’m doing or any number of things. But I do know that gaming fits into the puzzle somehow. I guess I’m trying to figure out where it fits by cutting it out completely and seeing what is leaves with it.
Thank you for writing this wonderful piece.
im 10 years and im playiNG LoL I didnt understand -.- but i know what to do 😀 coz every one plays my game i stopped for 2 years but installed it and UNinstalled it 16 times
Im DEAD if i keep up but see
I QUIT!!!
@ Smith – Thanks for commenting and sharing your story. I can defintiely understand how frustrated you may feel being in this type of situation, but I want you to know it’s entirely normal and in all honesty, this is a great opportunity for you to learn so much about yourself that will benefit you immensely moving forward.
I think it’s easy to look at the external sides of everything, cycling, the routes you’re taking, the partying, the games, but in your circumstance I think what you need to do is to dive into yourself and understand the WHYs behind everything.
So, for instance, collecting or playing, having the girlfriend, etc, what did these fulfill emotionally for you? What did they fulfill internally for you?
This is what you need to learn about, and quitting games can be a great way to put yourself in this type of situation where you have no choice but to learn more about it.
I would suggest thinking about how doing these things made you feel. Did they make you feel better about yourself? Without these things, do you feel less confident? Without the girlfriend, how do you feel?
Also, focus on 1 step at a time. It can be easy to get very overwhelmed in this type of situation so I would recommend experimenting every day and seeing what works and what doesn’t. What makes you feel better and what doesn’t, and then asking WHY it’s like that.
@ Someone u don’t know 😀 – Thanks for commenting! So cool that you’re only 10 years old! Congrats on quitting! Keep me updated on your progress 🙂
[…] How to Quit Playing Video Games – Blog Post […]
I am so glad I came across your article and wanted to personally thank you for all the advice you’ve given.
I am 14 and have been playing competitive Call of Duty for about 2 years. My grades have been terrible and I have been using my parents credit cards to purchase game, DLCs, and other various gaming merchandise without their consent. I also have gained a fair amount of acne due to my sedentary lifestyle, and no longer find myself attractive in the slightest.
Call of Duty: Ghosts recently launched, and after bombing a recent test I decided I needed to quit. My money can be better spent and I understand that grades in High School are fundamental in building a better future for myself.
I just can’t stop…
Once again I would like to thank you for your advice. I now feel like I have the tools for change thanks to your article.
@ TED – Thanks for commenting! I definitely relate to you. If I could go back I would have focused more on my grades, because at the time I thought it wouldn’t matter but I realize now looking back that it wasn’t so much whether my grades “mattered” but more that I didn’t learn everything I could have and not learning has affected me down the road.
Let me know if I can help you out in any way!
Hey there! For the start I need to warn you that there might be some mistakes in my typing,because I live in place where english language is not something that many people use,but I’ll try to do my best. Fisrt of all,I want to thank you for this article. I’ve tried to quit so many times that I’m getting off numbers. You were right,all other articles on the internet were about study more,spend limited time on games and things like that,but,as you can see,it didn’t work. I’m glad that you can understand how difficult this actualy is. I was mad at myself that I can’t even explaint it. But 10 minutes ago I started reading this article and it made me feel better,because I found somebody that understand,and I hope somebody that is going to be responsable for my self-improvment. Games that I played were World of Warcraft,Dota1,Dota 2,Modern Warfare 2,AOM online (I can go like this forever),and to be honest I AM SICK OF IT! I saw that this article is old,but I hope that you are gonna see my comment and respond. Right now is exactly 18:00, and I’m starting with this! Wish me luck,and thank you so much!
@ Stefan – Thanks for commenting! I would highly encourage you to try and not be too hard on yourself. I believe this type of thinking is counter-productive and actually encourages you to avoid doing the things you want to do. I’d recommend looking into the work Brene Brown has done on “shame”. You can see a great video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
She also has a fantastic book I couldn’t recommend enough called “The Gifts of Imperfection”.
Good luck and know that YOU CAN DO IT. 🙂
Hello everyone
I’m back on topic.
It happened.
I had a draw back to my video game addiction and it came almost silent but with a vengeance.
I was surfing the world wide web and got nostalgic, that included my experience on the old video game systems – NES, GENESIS, SNES.
Found a game i wanted to add up to my library, bought the title, brought my gaming systems back from the attic and powered ’em up.
Shit! There i was sitting again. In front of my TV set, with one or another controller in my hands, playing video games, losing it once more.
But this time i could feel the change that happened – to me.
I felt the change in my desception. I felt how everything lost its colors, fading to grey.
I went more agressive on myself, once again, like i did back then as i was a fulltime addict.
It took me some days to understand what’s going on. And now it was easy to locate the trouble, but it was hard to accept it (again) and put all video gaming systems back on the dusty attic.
I want to keep them as pieces of my past. But i shall never again pick them up and get hooked for only one more time. Never again.
Actually it feels good to see the free space that is left behind for new things (again).
I feel that i should get more into exercising. As it gets colder outside my motivation for doing some exercise got a little bit off too. That certainly helped to go back on gaming.
Now i have some days free (long weekend). And i will use it to think more accurate about that last incident as the reasons to quit playing video games i mentioned earlier are not quite enough yet.
Greetings from Germany
@ Michael from Germany – Thanks for coming back and giving us an update! I just traveled around Germany for a month and loved your country!
Don’t worry about “relapsing” back to video games. This is very common and not that big of a deal. It’s important right now to instead use this as an opportunity to re-commit to yourself how serious you are about NOT playing video games. I’ve definitely experienced this same thing where you play and it’s just NOT the same as it once was. It’s actually a good thing for you to identify how it made you feel (negatively). Try to remember how good it felt to NOT be playing.
Best of luck and as always, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help! BTW – did you see the TEDx talk? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHmC2D0_Hdg
I have seen the video on youtube, just in time – before they triggered the google+ here in Germany too.
Very good speech there.
I wish more people could speak so free as you did.
It is very important not to be angry about your past, but to accept it as part of your life.
This video leaves a positiv message.
Thanks for that.
Another note why i got back to the old games.
The old games always had a special touch, the music.
The music pieces in those old 8bit and 16bit games were so different. A special factor that modern games are missing, making them not as addicting.
To leave the modern gaming systems behind was easier. The old ones that accompanied my childhood and my teen years are the tricky machines.
That fascination for chiptune music gets never old.
Greetings
@ Michael from Germany – Thanks for the feedback! Any ideas where I could post the video to help it get more exposure? I’m hoping to help as many people as possible with it!
Ahhh, so the games are kind of nostalgic in a way. Do you find the old ones just as addicting or is it that by playing the old ones it encourages you to play the new ones?
There are more video platforms out there. But actually i have to find them again to name them.
Only few i remember:
– tape.tv
– vimeo.com
– mtv.com
Maybe one of these platforms can help.
The tricky thing about the old games is the music. The chiptune sound provides an atmosphere, the new games do lack.
So i can avoid the new games and gaming systems just for the sheer fact that they lack one of the most important factors – the music of the old.
Modern games are equipped with nothing special and the HD graphics are nothing special anymore too.
But the old games have those chiptunes which makes them different and special to me.
Actually i like to listen to some chiptune albums from ComputeHer and 8BitWeapon.
As i was playing the old games i could never be sure if i was listening to something that was supposed to be a Techno track or a piece of Heavy Metal all along.
I had to use my fantasy when playing the old machines. and it helped a lot to come back to those games again and again.
So yes, the old games bear a lot of nostalgia to me.
That is the tricky spot i have to face whenever i think about those NES and Genesis games.
I’m just a music addict ;), somehow.
@ Michael from Germany – Hey hey from Madrid! I just got here last night. That’s very interesting. Maybe there’s a way that you can still listen to the music without the games!
Hi Cam, I seriously love the article and video. Google never lets me down.
I am just starting to finally get off of video games. What I can say is: the satisfactions achieved in video gaming are totally and utterly shallow.
I found that spending time outside to meditate, reading the Bible, and thinking rather than playing yields rewards ten times better than anything you get from a video game.
Life is meant to be enjoyed. Video games were never meant to be part of that enjoyment.
@ Dave – Thanks for leaving your comment! I definitely agree that spending more time focusing on things you that make you feel empowered can have a profound impact on your experience. At least this is the case in my experience.
Glad you found the article and video valuable. Keep me updated on your progress!
@Dave
You are right about the ‘shallow’ feel video games do leave inside yourself at the end of a day.
I’m sitting at home the last few days and try to remember anything valuable i got from video games, anything else but the nostalgia bonus.
Video games are like a window to a strange dream.
When i’m looking through now…….all i can see is weird stuff that could not exist in this place.
Even superhero movies seem strange and way too unreal to me too + i started to realize that video games – espacially the oldies – borrowed quite some from the music back there.
When i was listening to Axel F. by Harold Faltermeyer, i swear, i could hear the squeeking blips and noises that Nintendo similarly built into Metroid II as background sounds in some places, the exact same sound(-effects), maybe in a different arrangement, but it is there.
The more i explore the music of my past the more i can see how the music in those games, that kept me going for some extra bits’n’bytes, was so obviously inspired by the music i still like to listen too.
Maybe i’m getting paranoid 🙂
I think that is why the nostalgia factor with the old games was so strong. In the end it really came down to the music after all. Just like i thought already.
And for the sake of the graphics of video games?
The old ones just do not fit the visuals i’m used to since i can remember the things i’ve been seeing since then.
The new games try to emulate the more realistic look of real surroundings and stuff, yet turning them into a bland copy of it all.
@all
Thanks so far for bringing all your own experiences. It keeps me thinking about my own addiction and makes me brushing out the factors that kept me interested for such a long time.
@CAM
Thanks again for this site and the brave act of starting the whole thing.
@ Michael from Germany – Thanks for the great input! This is amazing to see a community come together to help each other. I really appreciate it!
I’ve tried twice to quit, not cold turkey, but I got close. It was incredibly liberating while it lasted, to lots of the spare time like that and not having to devote brainpower/concentration on optimizing setups and planning strategy and recruiting for a clan, and instead focus on what matters more. I also learned I can’t play in moderation, and that I really need to fill the social and self-challenging aspects in my life with something less obsessing and more productive. I’ve just read your article. You’ve convinced me to take another shot at it and god willing, third time is the charm. Go big or go home, I’m swearing off everything and going to distract myself silly with art, writing, and actual, meatspace-style talking to people (with physical vocal chords and all!).
@ BL – Thanks for commenting! I’m happy to hear you’re going to give it another shot. I definitely think this is a worthwhile pursuit for you. Remember how awesome you felt when you quit, but learn from your past experiences so you can implement the lessons and be more successful this time. Just go BIG, don’t let “going home” be an option! You can do it with a full commitment to a new path. Make sure you schedule new activities. Check out this article on how to do it: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/
Keep me posted on any way that I can help you!
Cam, thanks for writing this article. I`ve also been a hardcore gamer since I first got my hands on NES back in the day. With many hundred days played in the MMO realm and other games I now want to break my gaming habits completely. It sucks because I moved to canada where I had 0 time for games while studying, and I had no urge to play them. Once I got back home to Norway I was broke, my health was suffering really badly from celiac diease and I have been on a sick leave for a year plus. Guess what I did to fill the void… HAH!! 15+ hours a day playing WoW and every other game I could to make time pass… So once again. Thank you. This was the push I needed to really get it down to black and white… time to delete and remove all my gaming accounts. Start working out again and get life back on track. Cheers 🙂
@ James – Thanks for the comment! Yes, this is exactly what type of attitude you want to take into this. When you were at school I imagine you had a strong sense of purpose, but after going back home your self-esteem was suffering from various setbacks and it made it easy for you to go back into old habits.
Let me know if I can help in any way. My mom and I run a gluten-free blog, might be worth checking out! http://wheatfreemom.com
I am a 14 year old boy and totally addicted to video games. I can’t seem to control myself. Like I will be doing homework, and then I see something that reminds me of a game, and I will start playing for hours on end. My parents don’t like me playing but I still sneak on when they’re not around. Video games have affected my social life, and I have almost no friends. I try to make friends but I am constantly pushed away. I dont know what to do. Help! Thanks!
Hey, Cam, it’s BL again. I had a relapse today, about an hour in length, when I checked back in with buddies from one particular MMO and puttered around. It that struck me was that the game had become quite dull, slogging through old tasks now that I had 3-4 days to stop caring about what I had previously invested into the game. None of the grinding or farming mattered so much to me anymore. Still, I did feel some of the appeal coming back to me and the temptation of trying to play in moderation (which I well know I can’t do at this point) called to me.
Then I remembered that my goal is 100%- it’s not as inspiring to tell to myself later, “I put my all addictions to games aside… except this one”. Plus, there are tons of crazy addictive games out there I am already not playing- what is one more? Really put things in perspective for me.
So I managed to pull away and put that one back on my blocked sites list. Where it shall stay. I’m currently doing a decent deal of procrastination on Youtube, since the crunch of upcoming finals doesn’t leave me much time to make lifestyle changes yet, but watching videos doesn’t nearly take the amount of concentration or pull me in anywhere as gaming and I’m forging ahead with my responsibilities compared with before. I feel like I have a much better grip on my time and don’t have spend effort lying to myself about where my life is going. Really quite liberating.
As for what you said about just going big and not even considering going home, my metaphorical “home” is on fire and collapsing right now. I agree completely. Rest assured, I am set on going big, because going back could well kill my future.
The google calendar thing looks interesting, I’ll keep it in mind going forward. I used to be pretty diligent over planning my to-dos out on a real-paper planner before gaming addiction killed my sense of responsibility. Are you psychic? 😛
Thanks, Cam!
@ Carl – Thanks for commenting! So cool that you found the article as someone you’re age. If you look through the comments, you’ll also notice many others who are your age that are working on this! I want you to know that you can do it! When I first quit I would see commercials and things like that that caused me to want to play, so what I would do is as soon as I saw a commercial for a game or something I would immediately change the channel and re-commit to myself why I wanted to stop playing games. Understanding your WHY is the most important. Why do you want to quit games?
When it comes to your social life this is a skill you CAN improve. There are many great articles on this site that will help you with that. Check them out and let me know what you think. Reach out if you have any questions!
@ BL – Thanks for coming back with your update. Don’t worry about your relapse, it happens. The important part is to re-commit to why you want to stop playing and understand how it happened this time.
It’s great that you noticed how the game wasn’t as satisfying for you anymore and seemed dull. This is a sign that you’ve made progress recalibrating to real life experiences, so feel good about this! The appeal you felt was an appeal to self-sabotage. It comes from a low sense of self-esteem, and gives you awareness that you have more progress to make. This is ok, it’s just important to notice it and then start working on what you need to work on.
Great to hear from you, I believe in you. 🙂
PS. I am psychic. Mwhahaha!
Great article, I read this many times as a wake up call, as guys most of us game, some can control , some can’t, n that’s where I fall in. I do have social life n all that, I do run a company as well, but I know I’m not giving my full 120% because I prefer killing zombies online, I practice n learned the art of social dynamics as well, n had much success with it within those 8 months. But then I continued with gaming again after having a girlfriend I lost all drive in meeting new people n ladies out on the street as well as daily campus, resulting in my social muscle shrinking. I am determined to quit but I am halfway throughout a game which I invested 32 hours n want to complete it. Just thought of sharing this, n this article is inspiring, if I completely uninstall n delete the game I believe I will be too lazy to restart
@ Dodo – Thanks for commenting! I’m glad you’ve been able to read the article over and over again whenever you need a reminder. This means a lot to me!
I want you to know that you can decide to quit and move on from that game now. You don’t need to view it as a lost investment, it’s just time to move on. Or you can play it and finish it, but the choice is yours. It’s ok to just move on now. 🙂
Let me know if I can help you in any way. Sounds like you have a lot of good things going on and just need to continue growing in certain areas. You’ll get there in no time! 🙂
I’m glad I found this article and read this article. I finally found this article which actually dealt with HOW TO QUIT instead of Tips to quit when Googling “how to quit computer games” like you did, which really gave FRUSTRATING comments. I think this is why your article received an overwhelming response.
However I’m not really sure what you meant by going “cold turkey” and when you talked about “social dynamics”. I probably do not have money for the $300 to improve your social dynamics in 3 hours, being a kid living in SG.
What do you mean by going “cold turkey”? Do you just quit playing computer games or do you quit touching the computer completely? I’m trying and pushing myself to give the 110% to quitting cold turkey today. But I’m not sure if you just quit playing computer games(meaning you could still surf the internet e.g youtube) or do you shutdown and lay your hands off the computer completely?
I have a final question. You said, occupy yourself with the things you LOVE doing. I’m only into sports and may Dance. But here in SG, dance clubs are hard to find and I’m sure you’ve been here before, having many Virtual Friends but no friends in real life. Sports enable me to interact socially, but for Sports to occupy my time completely? I would be completely exhausted. I need another thing to do but I can’t seem to find one. On the other hand, there is my studies. You said playing computer games is actually a way for you to escape studying, instead of studying more like what the online tips would ask you to do. You can play instead of study. Right now I need to study, but I can’t really force myself to study, suffering from the withdrawal symptoms of quitting an addiction. You also said focus on the things you LOVE to do, but I don’t like studying. At this rate, I don’t think I will have enough things to completely occupy my time. Studying/Sports/Friends/Dance. Any tips?
@ Bobo – Thanks for commenting! It makes me happy to hear that you found value in it!
Just to clarify for you. The course on the top right of the site is FREE. It would normally be $300 but we’re giving it out as a gift to our community. So feel free to sign up and grab the course, no charge!
When I say I went cold turkey I mean I quit games completely and didn’t play anymore. Some people suggest playing games less and less until you stop, but for me what worked was stopping games all together.
I generally stopped surfing youtube and other sites because I found so much of this surfing was causing me to want to play games more. I tried to get off my computer as much as possible and out into the “real” world instead.
What you need to do is find more of these activities. That doesn’t mean just occupying your time with sports, but thinking about WHY you like sports. What is it about sports that you like?
Also, for ideas, read through the comments, but a few that come to mind are: learning an instrument, learning a new language, learning a new skill (for me I learned how to DJ). You could also start a blog and share your dance videos or something like that!
Thanks for commenting, hope that helps. Keep me updated on your journey 🙂
hi cam, i have stop playing video game for a month, but then BOOM the urge to play comes like S**T and im playing like 7-8 hrs a day…. now i have stop playing again, i hope to really stop.. u are right about youtube, it is why im being drag to play games back… but i nid to watch youtube to get info and stuff…. nvm it is just my thought about myelf to stop commiting to video games again….. even mini game such on smartphone can be addicting after trying to stop cold turkey on vid game… T_T sry i hope this will be a benchmark for me to stop playing all kind of game including all the mini games… vid games literally killing me softly….
@ Ahmad – Thanks for commenting! Sorry for the late reply, Christmas and all that fun stuff!
First – congrats on being without games for a month, this is a great accomplishment!
Second – don’t stress too much about playing games again. Use this as an opportunity to recommit to your goal of not playing, and learn the lessons of why you fell back into the habit.
It’s important that you find new activities outside of games/computer. Do you have any in mind?
Thanks for updating me on your progress!
Sincere thanks! Finally a person that knows what he’s talking about!
@ Nilo – Thanks for commenting!
Hey Cam!, amazing article this is exactly what I was looking for..
I live in Victoria B.C., Ive been struggling with consistency I know what I have to do now that it’s been described to a “T”.
I cannot thank you enough, good luck with it everyone we got this
@ Ian – Thanks for commenting! Cool you live in Victoria. I grew up in Calgary! Keep me updated on your progress 🙂
League of Legends is killing all the time that my 15 years old son has….His marks is starting to go down….
Desperate to find a way to help him….Will read more of this article and the related articles
For all the parents out there, if your son/daughter is still young, make sure you activate parental control (window or added software) NOW before he/she knows how to object to that….
@ V – Thanks for commenting! I’d be happy to talk with you more about this. I’ve had many parents reaching out to me lately to help. Email me: cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
Awesome article! I am a 15 year old boy struggling with video games. I want to quit, but I have the urge to keep playing. It’s like a sense of completion. I want to finish a game before I quit, but when I finally finish, it’s like i’m going to quit, and then a new game comes out and i play a little and decide i have to finish this one too. and its an endless cycle. How do i stop it? thanks1
@ Brian – Thanks for commenting! It’s good to notice that the sense of completion is something motivating you. How does this apply to your other goals? Do you have that same sense of completion?
When it comes to games, that “sense of completion” may just be an excuse to continue playing – a way of procrastinating. If you want to quit, you can just quit… you don’t need to finish the game!
This article is amazing. My husband plays WOW and is ranked and plays Star Craft. Blizz Con is a vacation every year. the Prince of Jordan even called our house, yes, I’m serious, to request a lesson from him after he posted on forums. It’s really bad. We spend about 30 minutes a day together and 15 of it is getting ready for work in the morning. He gets very mad at me when I say anything. He eats in the office and doesn’t go to bed until 2:00 Sometimes he says he will be down in an hour and three go by. I’m literally crying writing this my heart hurts so bad. I don’t even care who reads it because at this point it’s been made clear it’s his choice. You might think I’m sily, but I pray everyday for it to stop. How can we have children? How can we grow old? Mail doesn’t get read and the office hasn’t been dusted in six years….do you know how gross that is? Ideas? Please feel free to just email me. For anyone reading this I always put people fighting this is my prayers…I support that this is a serious addiction and that you will overcome it:)
you wrote “this article is for poeple who want to quit …if you don’t want to quit then this article is not for you”…..Do you have reading material or someway to convince my 15 year old son to quit and do something else?????
@ Luren – Thanks for commenting! I have emailed you directly. You’re not alone!
@ Vincent – Thanks for commenting! This is a great question and also a very difficult one. One of the challenges I’ve found is that the solutions I have are great for people who have come to the conclusion that they need to stop… but if they haven’t then I’ve found it much more difficult to make progress (especially in my own personal experience of my parents trying to get me to stop.)
On that note, I have reached out to my partner, Karim, who’s currently working in a psychiatry clinic in addictions and will get back to you (via email ) with a few ideas in the next couple days. Thank you for your question!
guys….cam helped me twice…hez just so kind person…
1 year ago wid cs….and recently wid dota 2….hez putting alot of efforts into this blog….really very nyc to see so many successful cases like me…
my life also severely changed…but like cam….getting back into another game was the thing that troubled me second time…but all thanks to this blog…for helping me second time….and cam replied me every time i mailed him….he helped me to improve studies, lifesyle and m really thankful….
congratulations to everyone who have quit gaming successfully…:)
GOD BLESS U CAM…ur doin a gr8 job…:)
@ Abhishek – Thanks for commenting man! Hope you’re having a kickass day 🙂
CAM this is one of the most accurate articles I have ever read on gaming addiction. My story is similar, with a twist. I’m 30yo. I’ve had an off and on (mostly on) gaming addiction starting with UO in 1997, WoW, SC2, etc… My norm is 8-16 hour day addiction depending on business day or not.
In my early to mid-twenties, I started using drugs to get away from my gaming addiction, and to be more social. First coke, then meth, then heroin. I ended up being addicted to heroin for 5 years of my life. The social benefits of that wore off real quick, so I was addicted to drugs and games at the same time. In the depths of withdrawals from a 1g/day IV heroin addiction, computer games would ease the pain and make me forget. I’ve finally ended my drug addictions, but now I’m right back to where I was in my early 20s! My gaming addiction is stronger than ever. I should have faced the fact that I need to learn how to have more fun socially years ago, so that’s what I will try to do now, starting with your links to social dynamics. Thank you.
So: Competitive gaming is more addicting than heroin. The rush you get from putting everything you have into a game and barely beating a worthy opponent is on par with injecting heroin. Though it may not last as long, you build a tolerance to heroin exponentially faster than you get bored of being the best at a game, and until you get bored of the game (which takes a while if it’s a good game with good PvP) you can keep getting that same awesome rush of victory. In fact, I’m now ending my comment so that I can get back to it, so screw social dynamics for now. LOL. God, I am so screwed. I LOVE GAMING!
@ Anon – Thanks for commenting! I’m really happy to hear that the article resonates with you. Also thank you for sharing an intimate account of your journey, it’s incredible for me to see this type of vulnerability from people around gaming addiction. I really appreciate your courage to speak up. Let me know if I can ever help you out in any way. 🙂
Like yourself I played wow compulsively, but I was an altoholic..
I still play games and am slowly weaning off them having started from the age of 7/8 with the original game and watch donkey kong games. I’m now 36..
Found a good website called http://www.howlongtobeat.com.
Basically what I did was ditch all the games that had no end credits i.e. couldn’t effectively be completed. So out with the MMO’s. I cheated on all the games that took more than 100 hours or used walkthroughs on youtube. Now I’m on the games that take about 50 hours to complete.
Honestly if I had a time machine I would go back and tell myself never to play any video games ever, I’ve wasted too much time and watched family members die when I should have spent more time with them.
You can see where I’m going with this..gradually I’m spending less time playing video games generally as the games are shorter.
I traded in all the games that had an infinite or long time or gave them away to charity or threw them away. I’m down to 15 games that take about on average 25 hours to complete fully. (So that’s still almost 16 full days..)
@ Superlungi – Thanks for commenting and sharing your story! What holds you back from just ditching them all and moving on? Where do you think the need to have to “complete” the games comes from?
What the Hell. I’m trying to get back to gaming but I can’t. I’ve quitted without wanting to. I just don’t like gaming anymore. I have a girlfriend, social life, bla-bla, etc. But I want to start playing again. To feel like a little kid seeing this whole new world for the first time. I just can’t seem to like gaming anymore.
@ Qwerty – 🙂
I just recently got desilusioned by War thunder game and suddenly out of nowhere I decided to quit it completely, I even deleted my account (and yes, i had pretty good stats and high level planes in there). Together with it I deleted my World of Tanks acc because I was suddenly hit by realisation that I spent days of grinding to gain what? Nothing at all. As those games are highly competitive, i was angry and mad as hell half the time spent playing. Even to point my flatmates and GF were poinitng that out and making jokes about my rage eruptions.
For the moment i am standing on crossroad, deciding as I will quit playing only those games, or stop playing computer games at all, because I realised, that my life is proceeding only in pattern work – computer games – sleep.
Its not about I dont have any other hobbies. I have plenty of them. LARPing, postapo airsoft, car… but all of them require some real action and computer games are just cheap and easy way to spent free time. Even my car is grounded for two months, because i am too lazy to go and buy one goddamn O-ring to get it running again, instead i sit home and play some bullshit games.
The games even affected my health and figure, because sitting at desk in work and then playing at home just adds pounds quickly.. but again, they made me too lazy to do something about it… Guess I have to crack this nut ASAP, so just dropping my experince here…
@ Land Raider – Thanks for commenting! You’ve hit on a very big key point about why video games are so easy to become “addicted” to: they are SO easy to access! Any time you’re bored, all you have to do is turn your device on and bam, you’ve got that dopamine hit you were looking for. It’s incredible. You are instantly stimulated, and you didn’t have to leave the house to do it.
If you follow the guidelines in the article you CAN do it. I absolutely believe in it and you’ll notice if you follow the guidelines that you are able to move on too. Just look at all the comments on the article of people saying it’s worked! 🙂 Let me know if I can help you out in any way.
Nice article!
i am 11, and I don’t play games on consoles, but i game on devices, tablet, phone, etc., and i thought about it, and i realized that i can do better things w/ life. I have actually tried many times to stop gaming before, but it only lasted for like 1 day, then i went back to gaming, because i don’t have a firm commitment. until i discovered this article, i was making empty promises, telling myself that i would stop, feeling good about myself, only to go back the next day. i am really not sure if i can ever stop, it is really frustrating to tell myself i will stop over and over, then going back over and over. i actually kind of have a problem with technology on itself, i think it is better to read real books instead of e-books, and that stuff. i want to get out more, but i can’t do that because i’m only 11. i also worry about the EFFECTS gaming and all that has on my life, i think stopping all that will lead to better grades, a relationship, etc. i never really talk to my parents that much about it, but they limit how much i play, which is really helpful except then i say i want to go back to playing, and they don’t let me and i become all depressed like a sadsack chump. i hope this article helps out in my situation, but time will have to tell. you never know, i might become a hardcore gamer and not care about it and say this article is totally useless, but that will probably not happen, because even when going back to gaming, i still think about how life can be better if i stop.
Land Raider, I so agree with you. I mean, video games are easy to access, and they also affect your health. i mean, you are concerned about your health, and you want to do something about it, but you’re to lazy, and you’re stuck the way you are. that makes me mad as hell.
Cam, i think the reason i keep going back is because i sufer the withdrawal symptoms, and i don’t know how to deal with it. please help!
I realized something: if the video games are out of sight, they’re out of mind. Don’t know why it took so long for me to realize that. I hope it helps me to quit playing the games, but I don’t know for sure because it’s only been implemented for about 3 hours.
Well, I’m going back to gaming. I will try again when I have more control over my life. I also think that one reason that I keep going back to playing is because I don’t really have a reason to stop.
@ Paul – Thank you for commenting! It’s so cool that you’re 11 years old and you found the article! One thing I want you to know is that by having the level of awareness you have you will be able to do amazing things. It’s incredible to see this!
I totally relate to how you feel about being “stuck” or feeling “lazy” and unable to change your situation. The first thing I want you to know is that you are not defined by who you’ve been up to this point. You are NOT the cards you were dealt. You are able to change your circumstances and live the life you want, on your own terms, if you want to. Some of it will take a firm commitment (willpower *TK*) and some of it will be about setting yourself up for success. But to set yourself up for success it starts here: taking your life into your own control.
If you find yourself playing games on devices a lot, try to either take the games off the devices or not have the devices all-together. It’s like if you want to eat healthy food, it’s a lot easier if you just don’t have junk food in the house. Then you can’t eat it!
Talk with your parents about this. Let them know how you are feeling. Show them your comment and the article. Involve them in your experience.
Also try to find other activities you can do outside of games. NExt time you’re bored and you would normally go play a game on your iPad, what can you do instead? When do you typically play games on your devices? Is it during a long drive or waiting for a bus? What could you do instead? Reading is definitely a good option, so is listening to an audio book or you could even learn a new language! What do you feel inspired about? Do you have dreams? What are they? If you share them with me I’d be happy to help give you a few suggestions for skills you could develop that would help you along the way!
Most of all, I absolutely have your back. If there’s any way I can help you out please let me know. I believe in you 100%!!
Dear Cam,
Thank you so much for creating this blog and sharing your experiences. Everything you say is completely true. I feel like I knew it all, but I never had someone to tell me them and put the pieces together. I’ve been trying to quit gaming for 2 years now. Notice that I’m just “trying to quit” for 2 years, and my gaming history goes a much longer way back. I always found something to fill one or two of the four areas, but I always came back to games because I had not thought of the other areas. As a second year university student, I will now make my engineering course to be my new challenge, playing the guitar and singing to be my new activity for constant improvement, books and movies to be my new escape and to stop rejecting my friends’ requests to hangout for a better social life. I am writing these here in case someone might be looking for more ideas for these areas. I am so overwhelmed right now that I could not even take the time to write a structured reply. I am so determined! Thank you so much Cam. Know that I immensely appreciate what you have done here. I will quit gaming forever! Everybody out there who wishes to do the same, good luck to you all and know that you are not alone!
Regards,
Mert
@ Mert – Thanks for commenting! It’s truly amazing to see how much in common we all have! If you read through the comments this is something you will notice right away!
The best advice I’d have is to focus on structuring your day using a calendar of some sort, because it will allow you to make sure you’re planning your day accordingly (social activities, hobbies, school, homework, etc.)
Also, saying “YES” to invitations from your friends will make a big difference right away. It’s incredible to see how many times we’ve actually been getting invited to things but since our default response is “maybe” (and then we can come up with an excuse not to go), people eventually stop inviting us to things because we never go!
Thank you for taking the time to share your story and I just want you to know that you can absolutely do it! I believe in you.
Hello again
I’m through another period of “playing video games”.
But this time I did not get the same intense level that might lead into another wave of addiction.
And here is the real, the one and only #1 reason:
I have no longer the need to mask another addiction.
Yes!
This is why I was addicted to video games for so long. I had other problems going on with me, other addictions I was stuck to.
By playing video games I could totally ignore the fact that I was addicted to other things already.
Now that these things are no longer with me, or I’m no longer with those, I do not feel the need to play games like I did once.
If I was not using my PS3 as a BluRay disc player, which is actually the best thing about my PS3, I was playing some pinball simulations (which are the most interesting games actually but getting very pale fast too).
And I tried to get into other games too.
Recently I kickistarted myself into the new batch of Rayman games and Darksiders II.
Guess what?
I only could continue playing Rayman Origins until it got way to ridiculous to hunt the time trophies in each level. I only played Rayman Legends up to the point where it seems not funny enough to me collect freaking 600 Lums at each level, which wasn’t too far into the game though.
Darksiders II? I reached a point at which I have to consider how much autosave features do suck the last piece of fun out of a game. FUN?
I was reaching a new place in Darksiders II, for which to reach I had to gain a new ability first. So I reached that new area, which is optional by the way, and got stuck there. The euipment I have so far is not right to have here – weapons not effective enough, equipment does not provide the needed protection, not enough healing items.
So everytime my character dies, I have to restart from the last point the fucking game fucking autosaved my ass into oblivion.
Yes! To escape that stupid situation, I only can restart the game and play it from scratch. Fuck it, I say.
This really did it for me and since then – that happened five weeks ago – I have no real urge to ever try again. It made me stop playing any kind of game.
Even the retro session I have begone – I got some old SNES games from a colleague and gave him some of my old games to go through – ended right with the Darksiders II autosave desaster.
So here are my personal top five for quitting playing video games:
1.) No more other addictions I have to mask (with these spooks are gone video games are even more boring).
2.) This is one fact that is very personal to me: Video games, the entire fucking time I was investing my time into these, never gave me a real smile or even a big laughing out like “The Naked Gun” trilogy did recently. Not even Rayman, Spyro or Crash Bandicoot could do the magic. And NO, not even Mario.
But Super Mario Bros. the movie is actually really good AND funny, without copying the video games (thanks god).
Yeah, you read that one right. No Super Mario game ever, no matter how much magic Miyamoto and his team put into it, could give me the smallest honest smile even a movie like “16 Blocks” could provide me with.
3.) Trophy hunt (it makes video games even more tedious).
4.) Fucking autosaving your ass to oblivion (it makes you getting stuck in the game and not letting you start from another point in the game – you either succeed or restart the entire game).
5.) Listening to music or reading a book is way more relaxing (you don’t have to push buttons all the time just to have fun) and you can talk about it with people that are almost 20 years older than you. Even 50somethings like movies like Monty Python’s “The Life of Brian” and maybe know and love some pieces of music you know and love.
So besides no more masking effect, the fact that I never had the same fun as I still have with movies, old and new ones, is another funny yet important one.
I really started to remember the complete gaming sessions I ever had, way back from the day it started until recently.
Man what a fake way to have fun if it even misses to make me laugh or smile for indicating signs of real enjoyment.
But maybe that was just bound to the reason why I was playing video games in the first place.
As I found out that video games let my hide from other problems/addictions I did not really need to have fun to play them.
I needed to play them to not have as much not-fun (damn, can I say that without confusing anyone?), because the other addictions were no fun. Playing video games brought some colors into my life, where the other addictions took it constantly away from me, draining my energy, coloring me grey.
Funny though, video games even worsened the effect of energy drain.
And now that I don’t have to mask these other things anymore I really do not feel the urge to play video games with that intensity I once did.
I tried and I lost it with Darksiders II for good.
Almost the same thing happened with music, the music I once was listening to in my late childhood and youth.
As the need for video games vanished, the need for certain types of music vanished too.
Now I see no use in listening to music that seems to be rebelish anymore.
I don’t feel the urge to listen to music that fits more into movies, the action oriented stuff etc (so there it is ok for me as it goes along with the picture).
But my interest in movies broadened. More genres I like to watch now.
Another interesting side effect I noticed since I stopped playing video games:
I can now drink 2-3 cans of energy drink a day (500 ml) without getting shaky or nervous.
So it was really a matter of playing video games or the other things I hid underneath it or even both.
Best regards
Michael
Hey Michael! Thanks for commenting – it’s always great to hear from you.
Amazing insight into your addiction and why you played. I really like point #2 about how games were fun but they didn’t really make you smile. This is something I’ve noticed in myself as well. I had “fun” playing games but that doesn’t mean I was “happy” playing them.
Very happy to hear you have got back out of this phase and are moving forward in your life again. I’m proud of you man! 🙂
@CAM
Thank you.
I think it is important to write it down. And here is the actually best place to share these experiences.
Every time one falls back, honesty is the best item/tool to deal with that situations.
It was a really long way for me to reach that one point I’m standing now at.
It was really enlightening to see the real problems behind my gaming addiction and to solve that.
Now I feel more free than before and it makes it easier to deal with video games, to stay away from them. There is no real feeling that makes me want to go back at all.
Darksiders II and the two Rayman games of late opened my mind to what I was putting myself into.
Especially Darksiders II.
No, not only these games. It was like that with all games all the time.
It feels strange to be aware of this new knowledge. Literally video games mean nothing to me, like they never really did. They were not even worth being called a placeholder for something else. They took away usefull space. Now I can breathe easier.
So now I keep on concentrating on reading more books.
Recently finished Bram Stoker’s Dracula – awesome book that wipes its butt with the silly movie adaption – no kidding.
Or listening to some interesting music, like different classical stuff (already have my favorite instrumentalists) and swing, music that takes me out of my usual context and colors my life like crazy.
Overall it is interesting how easy it is to not only enjoy these things like a loner, but I can always find someone to talk about it.
I think this would never happen the same way with video games.
I mean, how long are these virtual beats around now? Quite some decades now.
And video games are still not on the same level as movies, music and books.
In my environment and at work, there are almost no people around me that actually talk about video games though there are some people that have played quite some.
But it not the same, like playing the same game but seeing it totally different. Strange.
I started a conversation on youtube once with a dude who thought that video games could reach the same level of art and entertainment like any other media. But I definitly could never agree with him.
I always felt that movies are easier to pick up, have good entertainment for say two hours and then be back here in real life.
Video games will never reach the same level of novelty like books. You can read books and not only be entertaint, you also learn some more about your language that comes with it, how the book is written, how the characters in the story interact and talk. You can pick up a book for just ten minutes before you going to sleep, then put it aside and just turn off the light and sleep. I feel more calm after closing the book.
And music. I can put a disc into my player, close my eyes and let the music do its job.
And when I do some exercise I can give my body a great feel that video games never can. It pushes some real physical buttons for doing real physical actions, just like it is meant to be.
Video games I think do trigger physical reactions and emotions but in that passive state of sitting there and pushing buttons on a pad do not allow to react in a good way to the real chemical process that kicks off.
It is that today video game developers get aware of it and create more interactive movies, or at least they try to do that. Peoples reactions are mixed.
Actually I do believe that as long as video games do not become more active with the players, like virtual reality where you have to move for real while moving through virtual worlds (I saw something like this 20 years ago. What happened to that idea anyway?), playing video games and the chemical reactions they can cause seems all wrong.
Nobody should feel angry for not really getting hit by any real object or enemy or for not getting that stupid virtual only trophy or for not really falling into a real pit. So also nobody should feel happy for not achieving anything real.
Did you ever feel angry for a character in a movie for not moving the way you thought he/she should have been moving along? I never did, because I know that things are meant to be like this. Even some situations that might make me feel uncomfortable can be overlooked easily. I do not have to push buttons to make something happen and I do not have to play some bad sequences over again only to reach the good ones.
Or if I re-read a book. There is a scene I remember too well and I did not like it? Just jump to the page where the bad part is over (though it is ok since I still remeber it and do not loose the threat of the story).
Got a CD with some not so good tracks on it? Skip them.
The only video game up to this very day that let you decide to either go just for the story or get yourself totally sucked into the gameplay aspects – ready, here it comes – that was Final Fantasy VIII.
One game in 40 years that let you go for the story only if you wanted to enjoy it as some kind of interactive movie – only one.
Wow.
There is so much more I could go on about right now. I’m so emotional, so happy.
So I will just go for one more thing that really comes absolutely clear to me right now.
The aspect of “hardcore” and the overall community in the realm of video games.
The point with the community is easily solved as there is none for real. People are, especially nowadays, bitching about who is more hardcore and true to the nonw existing community.
Yes hardcore and true. Like these two aspects have been cleared in themselves. They haven’t.
Did we ever encounter someone calling himself hardcore for watching gory movies?
Someone who thinks he is true because he buys movies on BluRay rather than on DVD or old, and hopefully still working tape (VHS)?
Someone who tells himself really hardcore because he saw the movie in theatre instead at home via DVD or BluRay?
Have we ever met people that think they are hardcore because they listen to a certain kind of music?
Ok, here people can bitch and some do brag about their equippement. But they never call themselves truer than you or me and they never think they are hardcore because their equippement was more expensive than mine.
Now we have the people that think they are better than me because they listen to “this” rather than “that”. But they do not call themself hardcore.
Was there ever a hardcore book reader like in a sense of reading specific books only and bragging about it? No, not the loner, the nerd you know from school. But even that nerd would not think about himself being hardcore for reading the stuff that you would ignore.
But in the realm of video games and consoles and PCs, people are the nerdiest you ever see anywhere.
They bitch about their piece of plastic and how one makes them hardcore gamers – yes, just for owning “this” over “that” – while the other makes them boring ‘casuals’ and shit like that.
How certain games makes them hardcore over other people playing different games, maybe more commercial/mainstream ones.
I know right now that there is a kind of bitching about certain things for other medias too, but there it really seems different.
People go like: “Mo rapper puts more depth into his speech than does yo bitch into her singing.” Or: “Heavy Metal is after all (that amplification done today) still more real instrumental music than is your techno.”
But they do not bitch like: “Man I’m more hardcore than you because I listen to my rap on my 7.2-ultra digital surround and you only have that sweet tiny stereo you got your trance on.”
In the realm of video games people bitch over having a XBOX360 (now XBOXone) over a Wii (now Wii-U).
Shit like this only happens there. Even though people are actually playing the same kind of games.
Say one playes Legend of Zelda on the Wii and another person playes Darksiders (the one you play as War) on the PS3. Believe me, they will bitch on about their console decision rather than agree to like the same genre.
I might sound harsh on this department but this is what I could experience almost every time I was visiting a forum that was about video games – games not the consoles. But it comes all down to the consoles and the use of terms like true and hardcore all over again.
I had to get rid of this. Just another, but deep, factor that might make other people wonder what the deal is with gamers. Even I can not answer this. Maybe it comes from releasing hormones while playing games and the missing opportunity to act positive on it. Instead some turn into hormone bosting machines with no other options to push these buttons on their pads which makes them even release more stress hormones and still no real way to balance it. Maybe it climbes up their heads and they have to relieve that stress while writing nonsense on forums?
They should really do more sports or quit playing unreal games.
I apologise in case I sound a little bit rude now. This is just how I think about it right now. Maybe one day I do not think about video games anymore, but only as some memory being part of my past, without caring about that strange community that actually is none, because everyone knows all better……..or not.
Actually I can have some good laughs with movies like Wreckit Ralph or even Scott Pilgrim. That is like looking onto something that was just part of my life and now I can see it in these movies and have a total different angle.
Having that video game stuff put into a movie is no more disturbing than someone smoking a cigarette or drinking a beer, it does not really affect me. Just a movie, you know. And I can laugh about video games or video game aspects like I never could while actively playing them. Good thing I don’t have to push buttons to make Scott Pilgrim beating the virtual shit out of his foes. X)
Best regards
Michael
This article really helped me in choosing to quit videogames. I had my first console when I was 12 years old (ps2) and my first game was final fantasy X (I played a shitload of ps2 games). I got hooked to gaming immediately. I do consider myself a competitive gamer and there was a time when I played alot of online games competitively (wow, cs, halo etc) but I just really love rpgs, jrpgs, triple a blockbuster titles( naughty dog games, rockstar games, metal gear solid etc). I play games for good gameplay, solid story and beautiful graphics. Now I am almost 24 years old and I feel like my life wouldve been alot better if I had never started gaming. I basically put all my free time into it, I enjoy it alot but if you spend too much behind the screen you definitely feel disconnected from the rest of the world (and it doesn’t help that I’m a shy person as well). I think videogames are a good artform if taken into consideration, but for people like me who have addictive personalities it’s very bad and dangerous. It can definitely ruin your social life. I wish I could just limit my time but I know once I’m playing there’s no stopping and it’s not just playing video games, i also go on ign, gamespot, gametrailers daily, almost hourly. I think most people are blind to their own flaws and addictions but luckily I recently accepted for myself that I have a huge problem and just decided to quit cold turkey. Gaming has brought me nothing but bad things, I dropped out of school, never really felt commited to anything outside of gaming (friends, sports, relationships). I do have some hopes for a bright future though but damn so many years lost. Thank you for this article cam, you have helped me make this decision. Thank you for reading and kindest regards
Pieter
@ Michael – Thank you for the follow-up. You’re quite the writer! I want you to know that I read your entire comment and think it was fantastic. It’s important for you to go through this to internalize more of why you did what you did. If you haven’t already, look into porn addiction (great video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU) – I think you will find more insights relating to video games.
Also, we just released a handbook to help parents understand more of the addiction side of video games (what happens to your brain, etc.) The handbook was written for parents, but if you’re interested in learning more about the brain chemistry side, you could check it out. Discounted version here: https://gum.co/EBVhM/tvasia)
Thanks again for your comment Michael. Really appreciate your insights.
@ Pieter – Hey! Thanks for commenting! I totally relate to you in so many ways, dropping out of school, being unable to play in moderation, being shy, having a frustrating social life and waking up one day realizing that I have to make a change!
You’ve taken huge steps in the right direction with your comment, be proud of yourself for it and get after the things you want in life. This is a turning point for you. A new chapter has begun. Let me know if I can help you out in any way. Check out this for help on the social side: http://bit.ly/1mHVosI)
Hey, it’s Paul again.
I just re-realized the importance of this article. Soon after leaving this site, I went back to gaming, and I think the reason why was because I was trying to avoid technology all together (TV and laptop), and not just video games, and this was kind of unrealistic (for me, at least, maybe not for some people. I kept going back and from it, like I mentioned, but I was mostly gaming more than not. I decided to make a change (again) after getting into some trouble. I want to focus more on my schoolwork, reading, TV, and practicing on my clarinet (I almost never do that). I just realized also that I feel physically better when I’m not playing games (no more headaches :D) and I feel more focused. Hopefully I can stick with this, I feel so good! lol
Hey Cam, i’m at a real struggle. Some of my best friends are all heavy video game players, like myself, and I want to quit but I honestly can’t imagine my life without them. They are like family to me. How could I keep those friends but also quit gaming? I hope it’s possible, because I sorta need them in my life. Even if it meant spending less time with them, but at least some with them still. IDK!
PLEASE HELP CAM!
-Nick
Hey Nick,
Just wanted to give some friendly advice. Instead of playing video games, try watching more sports or movies. These are also some things you can do with your friends. Try and tell them you want to quit video games, and they will understand. Then suggest something else you all can do together, then you’ll be fine.
@ Paul – Thanks for commenting again! I definitely recommend scheduling your day in a calendar so you have more purpose with your time. This will help you stay accountable to doing the things you set your mind to! Check out this post for more info on it: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/
Also, don’t stress about the fact that you played games again. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it’s just a reminder of why you need to move away from them. You can do it, I believe in you. Lastly, thanks for adding your input to Nick. This is the type of engagement I LOVE about this community!
@ Nick – Thanks for commenting! When your friends are heavy gamers this can definitely be difficult, because you will want to hang out with them. The best approach I can recommend is to focus on trying to make a few friends outside of your current ones, so you have them too, but then you can also hang out with your current friends but instead of hanging out with them around games you can set the events up so you go out for dinner, or go somewhere else away from games. This is a bit difficult but you can do it. It’s important!
Hi CAM
Thanks for the provided youtube link.
That is a really good one too.
I think that any kind of addiction just works like this.
You start to behave on something to mask another thing. You get used to it and your brain starts to build the threats that in later parts of your life just make you react that ‘learned’ way. You practically fake yourself up to a certain point where you stop to be true at all.
It is only when you realise on your own what is actually happening that you could get the idea that it might be wrong and you want to change it.
Now the funny thing is that my real problem was close to what the provided youtube link is about.
Since that one has no grip on me anymore lots of things started to change, and it only just begun.
To one point I might seem more agressive, but to a positive extend I think. I’m more confident with my decisions and opinion and I stand up for it.
Man last night was crazy.
I had to work at night (from Friday to Suturday). We got our work done earlier, so we could go home earlier.
I decided to not let someone driving me home. I went by foot. Only few kilometers, an hour walk, nothing special.
And I enjoyed it.
All on my own in the middle of the night, just walking. Thinking about certain things and from time to time having my new favorite music in mind, that by the way just fits night time perfectly.
Funny it got as I reached a certain part of the track I had to follow. All muddy there and so I had to take my shoes and socks off. Was kinda cool but not cold, nice soft sand and lots of mud. At one point I sunk in so my feet were gone visually.
Man what this will be like if summertime arrives.
Just a small night adventure, feeling the constantly changing ground under my bare feet – sometimes muddy and wet (it was raining some time before), sometimes dry, and sometimes there were these pesky small spiky stones I could not evade because it was nighttime (lol), smelling the fresh air, all swing and jazz, welcoming the weekend. I didn’t feel exhausted. Time seemed like expanding, so I was wondering how I made it that fast.
That is just something, something small, but something no videogame can give me.
Walking on soft sand in reality is so much more fun than walking along a virtual beach with a character that is not me. Smelling the real air, smelling the nature. A video game lacks that magic.
On my next vacation I will do some more midnight walks, barefooted, with all the time at hand, no more wasting any precious on video games.
Real life, even in small doses, can be so much more fun. Walking one hour in fresh air can be refreshing and inspiring, even though I was walking home from work.
It really amazed me.
I started to be so much more aware of other things now too.
Like my body screams for more natural and physical adventures now, not these virtual games that fakes our brain and makes the body angry with false chemical reactions to situations that are not real.
This little nighttime adventure made me realise how much I was numbing myself. I was totally off, hunting myself down these virtual adventures, yet my body had absolutely no connection to it. It was all in my brain, but nothing I could remeber myself physical.
Like that walking barefoot through the sometimes muddy sandy walk. I just do not remeber it like “I was walking along there”, but my body also remembers it.
Everytime I think about it, I can almost feel the sand and, yes, these pesky little stones too.
I know that I mentioned the fake reaction of my brain to video game situations already. But right now I understand it even more.
I do exercise, but that walk home really brought it to me as clear and simple as it can be.
If the body can remember the same thing as does your brain, so there is a conection that tells you that it was/is real, that feels awesome.
With best regards
Michael
@ Michael – Thank you! This is an amazing piece of writing! It actually inspired me to mention something to you, which I will go into below.
But first I want to say what you’ve identified is certainly accurate – gaming can be numbing for us. If you want to experience what real life sensation can feel like, go skydiving. 🙂
I want to start sharing more stories of other gamers (other than myself ) who have managed to quit gaming and moved on as inspiring for others.
Would you be interested in this?
If you are, here are the details:
1. Read these guidelines (different questions you think about) https://www.dropbox.com/s/ls78bp45j3y1ur5/CaseStudyGuide.pdf
2. Submit the story: https://elektro.wufoo.com/forms/case-study-submission-form/
I will feature it on the blog!
I have been addicted to gaming since I was pretty much born. I own about 500 games and just recently I’ve started to find gaming not as fun as it used to be. I don’t know if this is normal or not I just can’t find interest in it anymore.
Okay so how do I start this. I have been playing video games since i was five yers old, all I do is play video games, and if I somehow am not able to play I don’t feel accopmlished, I started to really get sick of myself and have spent the last hour looking for was to quit… But I’m not social, I’m always quiet, don’t, and have never played a sport, never played an instrument seriously, I hate interacting with other people, and video games give me escape, and make me feel like I have a bunch of lives I can play through and I can always start fresh and I can feel important… My parents don’t care how long I play nor do my friends, but they always teese me and call me a no life and I Ignore it and keep playing… Video games are like drugs for me…. I want to stop but at the same time I don’t… I’m terrible at everything else… So here I am in the depths of the internet, finally addressing my problem and to be honest it’s going to feel good to get this out somewhere were people can see it… But to get to my point this article definitely game me insight on things I finally have perspective on how to act on this problem, it’s gunna be hard but I’m gunna try
Arthur, I think like with any ‘addiction’ you have to want to quit, seems like you might be on that road, I myself am pretty similar, I don’t want to quit however, I see the new generation coming in, I want to be a part of that, I am pretty social gaming wise though. part of communities and clans, it will be tough but if you want to quit, you will. I’d look at things you like to do besides gaming, find other things you like doing, maybe you like to write, start your own blog? write a novel? music is one hobby I have, I struggle learning instruments but I do electronic stuff, maybe you enjoy a good book, there is always something else. Personally I ain’t ready yet, but good luck!
@ Ethan – Thanks for commenting! It’s completely normal. Don’t resist it, and instead I’d encourage you to embrace the change and explore it with curiosity! Let me know if I can help you out in any way.
@ Arthur – Thanks for commenting! Your comment reminds me of why I do what I do. Your courage is POWERFUL. I hope you know that everything you mentioned, not being social, being quiet, never playing a sport, being teased, having no life… these are all things you can take into your own hands and change. You are NOT the cards you were dealt. Although you’ve had this experience up until this point, this is a turning point for you. I’m SO excited to see where this journey takes you. You’re incredible and you inspire me. Thank you for sharing this story with me. You can do it, please let me know how I can help!
@ Pixc – Thank you for sharing your input for Arthur!
I am looking for a way (a software, a program etc) to disconnect the internet of my computer for a short period of time (let say 5 minutes) after every duration of usage (let say 30 minutes).
For example, after using the internet from 10:00-10:30, the whole internet connection will be deactivated, disconnected for 5 min (from 10:30 to 10:35) then the internet connection will be re-established at 10:35 – and on and on and on…this is to simulate unreliable internet connection. Thanks, Victor
@ Victor – Thanks for commenting! Interesting idea to have the restriction happen after a specific time frame. I’m not sure about a specific software, but here’s a list you could check out:
http://www.techradar.com/us/news/software/applications/best-free-parental-control-software-9-programs-to-keep-your-kids-safe-1140315
This is a fantastic article. I have been playing video games for a really long time now, and I must say this definitely got me thinking about how much time I am wasting with my life. I think it’s just simply because there’s nothing else to do. I could make friends, I could go out and find a job, I could make a better person of myself. But I just can’t seem to take my head away from gaming. I have been playing a game called halo wars for about 2 years now, I’ve gotten really good at it and it’s so much fun to me. I also have friends who come online and we all play together. And to quit it just makes me want to shed tears. But I know it’s for the best:/
@ John – Thanks for commenting! It is for the best, and if you read through the different comments on this article you can find areas where I have spoken about closing this chapter of your life and moving forward to a new one – it’s important not to view this as moving on from a place of regret but instead choice for a new life you want to live. Let me know if I can help in any way!
Dear Cam:
the website you pointed to has a lot of good stuff but not exactly what I am looking for.
http://www.techradar.com/us/news/software/applications/best-free-parental-control-software-9-programs-to-keep-your-kids-safe-1140315
I am looking for a way to make it looks like we have a unstable internet connection by disable internet for a few minutes (say 3 to 5 min) after every period of time (say 30 min)….For example, after 30 min, internet is off for 5 min, then internet is back running again for another 30 min, then off for another 5 min so on and so forth….In this way, there is no way any online game can be played but home work can still be done.
I search and found the following link. I think it does what I want but not sure how to make it work on my computer
google for “Disable Internet for a set period of time” and found the following link
http://social.technet.microsoft.com/Forums/en-US/7544cbed-507d-4eef-907d-bafb99b45411/disable-internet-for-a-set-period-of-time?forum=w7itprogeneral
Dear Cam:
the website you pointed to has a lot of good stuff but not exactly what I am looking for.
http://www.techradar.com/us/news/software/applications/best-free-parental-control-software-9-programs-to-keep-your-kids-safe-1140315
I am looking for a way to make it looks like we have a unstable internet connection by disable internet for a few minutes (say 3 to 5 min) after every period of time (say 30 min)….For example, after 30 min, internet is off for 5 min, then internet is back running again for another 30 min, then off for another 5 min so on and so forth….In this way, there is no way any online game can be played but home work can still be done.
I search and found the following link. I think it does what I want but not sure how to make it work on my computer
google for “Disable Internet for a set period of time” and found the following link
http://social.technet.microsoft.com/Forums/en-US/7544cbed-507d-4eef-907d-bafb99b45411/disable-internet-for-a-set-period-of-time?forum=w7itprogeneral
ANYONE KNOWS OF A SOLUTION – PLEASE HELP! I AM DESPERATED
Hi Cam!
First of all, I want to say this article is FANTASTIC! I agree with every single word you said in it! after reading it i feel like “i finally found someone who totally understands me” Plus it’s helped me alot to quit playing video games easily! with no regrets! but still my social life is fucked up terribly.. i don’t have any friends.. i don’t go often outside.. i almost don’t do anything.. i do have dreams! but they will never be accomplished with my laziness.. for instance, i want to be a famous rapper! i have some skills! but i still don’t have self-assurance.. none encourages me.. none cares about me.. none says let’s give that guy a chance.. none gives a single fuck about me.. my life is worthless! sometimes i think “suicide” is the best solution to put an end for this shit! and disappear from this painful life!
Hello,
MY ENGLISH IS NOT VERRY GOOD
so, sorry for any mistakes…
Hello,
MY ENGLISH IS NOT VERRY GOOD
so, sorry for any mistakes…
@ Tyler – Thanks for commenting! I’m so happy to hear you found value in the article! It’s ok that your social life is still not very good. One of the big changes I experienced was when I started to view my social skills like a skill I could learn like anything else. A good way to relate this is the way you learned how to play video games. At first, you weren’t very good at the games but over time you were able to get better.
So how did you do this?
There’s a few ways: you studied, you played a lot, and played consistently. You surrounded yourself by better people. You viewed failure as feedback.
Now apply this to learning social skills. If you do that, you can learn them much quicker!
If you have a dream to become a rapper, start putting your work online. Do you have a soundcloud account? That would be a great place to start! I’d also encourage you to find maybe a poetry club you could join, because it will help your writing!
I understand it can be hard sometimes but I believe in you! I’ve been in the same position and it’s possible to change your circumstances! Buy the book “A Man’s Search for Meaning” – it will help you a lot.
Thanks for commenting! Great to meet you.
@ Jacob – Hi!
Hey CAM!
I didn’t write since a long time… I’m doing better, but yet again I need your help. I’ve been clean for 3 months, unless recently I visited my friends. Guess what? They were playing the game I was most addicted to I think. And I agreed to play with them… I thought I was clean for quite some time, didnt feel the urge to play so I would be fine. We ended up playing all night, and here I am after 2 weeks of constant gaming. This time it didnt affect my studies, but… I feel so bad doing it. Also, except of playing I started watching twitch.tv again from time to time. So here I am at the beginning again! I had to wrote a short note here about it. Somehow it helps! My question is… Should I stop all contacts with friends who play computer games all the time?
cheers
Paul
@ Paul – Thanks for commenting! Congrats on being 3 months clean! That’s incredible.
The good news is that you were able to get to 3 months clean! This is good news because you’re able to do it again! When I quit games I didn’t cut off any contact with friends, but I didn’t hang out in any environments where they were gaming. So instead of hanging out at their house, I hung out with them at the movies or somewhere I knew games wouldn’t be. I also didn’t watch any twitch.tv, youtube videos or even commercials about gaming. This is one of the reasons why I kept playing before… the streams made me want to play!
Even now I avoid streams because that’s one of the easiest ways for me to want to play.
I recommend starting again and implementing the new learnings you’ve had. Don’t feel bad about playing games because that won’t be productive. What’s important is for you to move forward and get back into the good vibes of you not playing games!
Hello there
@CAM, I have not forgotten your idea to bring my life as a gamer up in words – just what my life was before, how it changed, what changed and what it took to get me back from there.
Actually I still have to figure many situations, lots of things are so fragmented now.
Just to think how wrong I must have been when living in the virtual realm for so many years? Unbelievable.
Time and space are some constants in everyones lives. But for me many things are out of place, and I have no idea where to put them in.
And for other situations I only see fog, like there is nothing worthy to be remembered. It seems like my mind tries to erase the unnecessary parts of my memory to get some free space for better stuff.
At this point I can repeat this:
“My gaming years are the biggest waste of precious lifetime, and I wasted more than twenty years. Yet my biggest lecture, and I’m still learning from it.”
I just hung into my memories when walking home again. Lately I’m doing this very often. After work when weather is fine, enjoying a good walk. But I do not enjoy the fact that I can’t remember everything yet clear enough to make good sense out of it.
It feels like I just broke out of the virtual reality, but as I have never been anywhere else before. It feels like I was born virtually and somehow managed to escape my pixel routine. Memories from the time before gaming seem like pictures or movies I have been watching while living my vitual life.
Like someone living in Pixelland and wishing for living in another world, living in this graphical awesome world, a world in which HD and surround sound is just there.
That gives just a short insight on how mad it really is to live a gamer live. Either a little bit schizophrenic or totally out of space.
Time to get my shower, hit the pillow and listen to some awesome jazz whlie falling asleep.
BR
Michael from Germany
@ Michael – Great to hear from you! The chapter of your life you spent gaming was very valuable in the lessons you learned. These will make a significant difference and act as a turning point for you moving forward. It’s important to embrace it!
If you’re struggling with memory try focusing on your diet. Nutrition has helped me have a much more clear mind. Thanks for the message.
Hello,
Hey CAM , I am Pasan and I am from Singapore , I am 14 years old and I just recently did my exams and just got back my results, I failed 3/5 of the subjects. It is because I am a gamer. I was a hardcore gamer who played Online games when I was young (about 8 or 9) , I even used my dads credit card to buy stuff. I got caught and stopped playing altogether.But Now again since last year ,I have gotten addicted to GTAV and League of Legends and I need help because my studies are sufering and everyone else is getting better results. Further More My friends keep inviting me to play with them ,Yet they get satisfying results for their Exams.Can you please give me some advices as I have tried to go Cold Turkey but I keep clicking on the game..
@ Pasan – Thanks for commenting! So cool that you’re form Singapore and you’re 14 years old! It’s important to find new activities you can do outside of your gaming. It’s not merely about quitting games but also having fun activities you can do when you’re bored. I recommend structuring your day using a calendar system so you know how you’re spending your time. How many hours a day do you need to study and do your homework? Schedule that in so it gets done! Use this article: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/
Yo man. I got chills all through out reading your article. I’m still getting chills writing this right now. A little intro: I’m from Ontario, Canada and I’m 23 now. I’m gonna write some shit and it will be all over the place because I’m kind of rushed with emotion right now from reading this article. I could write a whole book on my experiences with this competitive video game shit but I’ll try to keep it short. I think I just want to share some of my experiences and thoughts with the community as I know that writing is therapeutic. Pardon the rough draft style messiness.
This is article directly mirrors me. I bought CS and Half Life when I was in grade 4 with paper route money. My friend already got me into video games with playstation on the classics like Twisted Metal and Spyro and 5 full memory cards of other games. It all started with the fuckin super nintendo though that he had.
I started playing competitive counter strike around grade 7. A few years later, I competed at a CAL Main/p level in my prime. At one point, I was about a few months away from reaching the cal-invite professional level. I quit and relapsed numerous times.
I would literally frequently sit alone in empty servers studying wall angles, making strats, practicing reflex shooting at designated objects, and recording timings to the second.People don’t believe me when I say this but I literally practiced 16 hour days. One time, I even played cs 48 hours straight without sleep. I wanted to be the best in the world. I put in well over 10,000 hours into cs.
I also reached a very high level in starcraft and starcraft 2 (diamond). Then I relapsed twice with league of legends in which I reached among the top 8% or so of players. At these high levels of competition, as you know, you literally grind for hours just to improve your timings by microseconds. In this regard, we are much like professional athletes.
I’m still getting chills writing this. I ended up here because I did a google search on how to quit video games. I quit before about 2-3 years and read over 100 books and have accomplished so much with social dynamics (very interesting to notice you fell into the same thing) and other things since quitting video games all together cold turkey. Upgraded my failed subjects from school to university level 80+% average. But i still find myself reminiscing on the “glory” days. How can you not? When you put the thousands upon thousands of hours into something, how can you ignore that drive.. all that hard work and accomplishments? Even hearing someone mention counter strike, or even video game competition in general, I get ignited. It’s like when a fighter hears a bell. Quitting permanently… It’s like telling Picaso not to paint. This is the art that we have mastered.
My friend recently started trying to convince me to try CS:GO (a fairly new release of counter strike that has tried to merge the Source community with the 1.6 community)… I refused many many times because I kept reminding myself how much my life improved without video games… but eventually convinced myself “just to play a few games”… “just for fun”. I played and fucking dominated man. Didn’t touch the game for many years and I come back and fucking destory some scrubs. We were in competitive ladder too not pub. The rush was exhilarating. Some aces, one tap headshots, wall shots.. “holy shit this guy is pro”, “fuck you hacker”, every time these events would trigger dopamine releases and reinforce how fucking good I am at this game. Winning. Testosterone boosts. Winning again. More testosterone. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2606468
Now it’s been only about two weeks and I’m already extremely highly ranked on ladder. A quick google image search of CS GO rankings will provide reference. I got placed in Silver Elite Master. About to hit Master Guardian Elite. TWO weeks.. after not touching cs for many, many years. Look how fast the skill is coming back.
Now other areas of my life are falling apart… I’m trying to stop but I just keep saying ONE more win. I keep saying just ONE more promotion and I will quit. Just TWO hours of play and I will stop easily turns into 8 hours. I ignore shaving. Ignore brushing my teeth. Ignore eating. Ignore the gym. Before this relapse I was able to go to the gym 7 days a week and even get up at 3-4am. I find my social game sucks ass now like I’m a hermit or some shit. I’m trading out many of my life skills for a ladder ranking… what the fuck am I doing? What’s the bottom-line? What will I get out of a higher ranking in cs?
The only reason I should continue this game is if I want to go pro. Why not right? Prize pools are very large nowa days… But I am 23 and need to succeed in the other areas and interests of my life. I know how to become a millionaire. I have the knowledge. I have the drive. Time is running out though…
But the habits never die. They just lay dormant in your brain, waiting to be triggered. This is a very strong evolutionary trait. I have the habits of grinding 16 hour days to do whatever it takes to win. I think that is why I can’t simply “play a few times for fun here and there”. If I even touch a video game that I’ve hauled ass to get good at before, the habits are triggered and I start grinding.
I’m so torn philosophically on this too. Society says we can’t be professional gamers. We have to “grow up” and get “real jobs” eventually. But i’m a maverick. I like to do shit my way. I like to INNOVATE. I like to challenge social conditioning and group think. In some countries like Sweden (cs) and Korea (starcraft) for example… gamers are respected as professionals. It’s possible to change the way people treat gamers. It’s possible to lead the way to a new, widespread paradigm shift. I strongly believe it is entirely in the realm of possibilities for me to become a highly paid gamer. Who’s to say competing professionally is fundamentally a bad long term strategy? Who determined that?
But at the same time I like other things. I have other interests. I want to be the best at those too. I’m 23 and time is running out. I know I need to pick something soon and dedicate myself to it the same way I did video games. I’ve done this before but not to the extent of over 10,000 hrs. If I don’t do it soon I will miss vital opportunities. I don’t want to approaching 30 and still be not 100% sure what I want to do.
I think a major personality issue is that I am a true perfectionist. It is extremely hard for me to just be average at something. If I do something I have to fully commit to it or I will not do it at all. This is a gift because I can produce superb work when I commit to it. But it’s a curse because I frequently find myself stuck in “what should I commit 100% of my efforts to” limbo. I’m highly competitive too and this makes me want beat people at their crafts which has caused me to be some kind of professional jack of all trades. It’s a weird, fucked up mix of feelings of wanting to be the best at everything but knowing you can only focus 1-2 major things at a time to truly get good.
My friend beat me at chess one day and I started playing/studying chess 6 hours a day for months until I could smoke him out of the water. When I did martial arts I would punch till my fists bled and I couldnt go anymore. Then I’d kick till my shins bled and I couldnt use those anymore either. When I wanted to be the best at guitar i was playing 2-8 hours every single day. When the calluses were unbearable, I would study theory.
I have read through a lot of the comments. They answered a lot of my questions. I have formed some strategies to quit again cold turkey. I would go to the waterfall and smash my computer but it’s not mine. I think I will tell my brother to change the password on his comp and never give me the password again.
A major problem I faced is that nobody I know has grinded to the top tier level like I have in these games. Reading your article and some of these comments almost brought me to tears. I think just being about to share a part of my story and read other peoples’ stories helped very much. I wish I knew someone like you in real life and we could motivate eachother to move on from this chapter of our lives and continue improving new chapters. It’s so hard to do it alone. I would suggest to other people to find a buddy and make a no gaming pact if you can. Even reading the comments here took away that feeling of trying to conquer the addiction alone.
I guess to bring this to conclusion, I would offer what I consider to be the most important tip for people (because I did succeed before in quitting for years). This is for the hardcore addicts.
1.) Don’t touch the video game. Ever. Smash it. Sell it. Get it out of your life. Joe Rogan used to be a hardcore Quake addict. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Mdj6Q0GWDI ). Not sure if it is in that link but he has talked about how he the only way for him to stop was cold turkey. Your brain has already learned that it gets rewarded when you play the game (from measurable growth noted in this article). The longer you play, the better you feel. Once this habit is formed it is there permanently.
100% of the times I relapse it is because I convince myself that I will just play once or twice for 30 minutes. You might succeed with that limit the first time but then you play again a couple days later. You get cocky with your confidence of how disciplined you are. You play a few more times in the week. Next thing you know you have wasted maybe 12 hours in the 7 day week that could have gone to developing life skills. This snowballs incredibly fast and you will eventually be playing numerous hours a day.
Study up on how to develop your Will Power. There is an entire world of information on Will Power. If you relapse, as I have, it should be fairly easy stop as you will know how to train your brain back into a disciplined state of control. Training your self control provides a first line defense against relapsing. You missed the trash can throwing something out and you get that feeling ahhh I’ll pick it up later? No. Go pick it up now. +1 to self control. Don’t want to start your homework? No. Dedicate just a guaranteed 30 minutes of work NOW! +1 to self control. Too lazy to floss your teeth? +1 to self control if you do it now. Been procrastinating on exercising? Just do a simple 20 jumping jacks, 5 pushups, and 5 squats right NOW and take that small success.. +1 to self-control It’s these small things completed that accumulate to a stronger prefrontal cortex. Do enough of them and you will notice that the larger tasks “all of a sudden” seem much easier to start.
If anyone has other tips and tricks, or even insight and reflection I’d very much love to read it. I feel much better after just sharing this even if nobody reads it. Writing really is therapeutic.
Hi Cam: You wrote “@ Victor – Thanks for commenting! Interesting idea to have the restriction happen after a specific time frame. I’m not sure about a specific software, but here’s a list you could check out:
http://www.techradar.com/us/news/software/applications/best-free-parental-control-software-9-programs-to-keep-your-kids-safe-1140315“.
Those software are very useful but can’t provide the level of granularity of 5 minutes. What I’d like to do is to simulate a unreliable internet connection so that games can’t be played but homework can still be done.
I found this link on the web. Does anyone know how to use it? Thank you
google for “Disable Internet for a set period of time” and found the following link http://social.technet.microsoft.com/Forums/en-US/7544cbed-507d-4eef-907d-bafb99b45411/disable-internet-for-a-set-period-of-time?forum=w7itprogeneral
Hi,
If you want to turn off the Internet, you can disable Local Area Connection for a period of time.
If you want to turn off the Internet on a schedule time, you can set task scheduler as below.
1. Open Notepad, add the following content and save as disable.bat onto desktop.
netsh interface set interface name=”Local Area Connection” disable
2. Open Notepad, add the following content and save as enable.bat onto desktop.
netsh interface set interface name=”Local Area Connection” enable
3. Open Task Scheduler, in the right pane, click Create Task.
4. On General tab, type name: Stop Internet, select option for Run with highest privileges, Configure for: Windows 7, Windows Server 2008 R2
5. On Triggers tab, Create New, Begin the task: On a schedule, One time: set the time what you want, click OK to save the New Trigger.
6. On Actions Tab, Create New, Action: Start a program, click Browse to find disable.bat, click OK to save the New Action.
7. Click OK to save the task. After that, use the same way to create another Task named Enable Internet. On Triggers tab, set a period of time after the first task. For example, the first task runs in 10:30 AM, the second task runs in 11:00 AM, the Internet will be disabled for 30 minutes.
Best Regards,
Niki
@ 1337JOHNNYG – Thanks for commenting and sharing your story! Amazing to see you’re from Canada! I’m really glad you found value in the article, that means everything to me.
Haha, studying strat angles and being in empty servers definitely resonates with me. I’ve done all of the above. Isn’t it amazing to see how we’ve managed to spend 10,000 hours playing games (or more!) and how that compares to the hours people put into other things? It blows my mind.
I think part of the reason gamers fall into social dynamics is that it’s an analytical way of looking at the social side of our lives – an area we all struggle with in some regard. But we search out for answers and approach it similar to any other “game”.
I definitely relate to how you feel. I don’t play any games for this reason. I also avoid watching any streams, etc because they are what ultimately make me want to play anyways.
So, two thoughts:
1) “Addiction” tends to refer to if something has a negative impact on your life – which video games clearly do in your situation.
2) The energy you feel towards games isn’t going to go away. This is part of your personality and the way you’re motivated. The key is to direct that energy elsewhere.
For example, growing up I was incredibly stubborn, which got me in a lot of trouble in school, etc. Now I’m still very stubborn, but I’ve managed to channel that energy into persevering in entrepreneurship and refusing to fail or give up. It’s more of a commitment to succeed, regardless of the challenges or obstacles I experience. It’s been channeled in a positive way.
You have the same capacity.
Remember, just because you CAN doesn’t mean you have to. Also, if pursuing professional gaming is something you want to do, the key is to identify whether games are having a negative impact – and either learning how to balance it or not doing it at all.
In my experience, I had a strong desire to be a pro gamer but I found that went away as I found other activities that engaged my mind. Entrepreneurship could be a great avenue for you if you’re that renegade do it my own way type who loves to innovate. I know I’ve loved it.
Thank you for sharing your tips. These are absolutely fantastic. One of my favorite talks on Willpower is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_fQvcBCNbA
Also, a great book to read would be The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Check it out and let me know what you think!
@ Victor – This looks great! Thanks for sharing!
Hey Cam,
I have followed your advice and tried to find an activity which can be substituted for video gaming. The problem is that I’m unable to find something that can replace it in all relevant areas of my life.
My main addiction has been to online competitive Pokemon battling, in which one can build team of Pokemon to battle people from all across the world. It actually involves a lot of strategy, with creatures’ Types/”builds” and opponent predictions and whatnot, and can be played in short bursts or long sessions. No matter how much time I spends playing, however, I always enjoy improving my ranking and overall skill level, thus making the game extremely addicting for me.
I have tried unsuccessfully to replace this with some other activity, such as reading. Although reading is enjoyable and arguably improves your mental capabilities, it’s too…”passive.” Whereas Pokemon was always interactive and provided me with an immediate sense of control and accomplishment, reading feels gradual and any mental benefits that accumulate over time are too subtle to provide this same sense of accomplishment.
Could you perhaps suggest any hobbies–especially something that will help me develop a practical skill–that provides the same sort of constant satisfaction as Pokemon would? (I’ve tried things like learning to code, but unfortunately found that I have no aptitude for that sort of thing)
Thanks so much.
@ Will – Thanks for commenting! This is an important insight you have had. Remember that it’s not about just merely finding new activities, but new activities that fulfill the reasons why you play video games – so the reasons you play Pokemon online will need to be fulfilled by your new activitie(s).
Here is a list of hobbies we’ve put together. There’s 58 of them and should give you a good idea of ones to take on. I’d recommend ones that involve physical activity and a team: https://www.dropbox.com/s/664dmp02pm7aow8/58HobbyIdeas.pdf
Let me know what you think. Happy to help you out in any way.
Hey Cam!
I really like your guide. It helped me in the past and I’ve been doing good so far quitting, but then suddenly it hit me again.. I’ve started having immense need to play and I succumbed. I didn’t know what to do… concentration dropped, all I could think of was gaming. I know finding new activities helps and I do have loads of activities to compensate gaming, although now it seems whenever I have more free time it just “feels right” to “just a little bit”. But that bit by bit turns out to hell. I’m an introvert, so going out and socializing doesn’t drive me. Could you please recommend anything?
@ Luke – Thanks for commenting! The problem you’ve run into is a common one. It’s important to note that even though we can move on from games for a long time, every once in awhile that strong urge will come back and we need to respond appropriately. This still happens to me every once in awhile as well – however, over time they appear less and less frequently, and the gap in between seems to become greater as well.
Other activities that encourage me to play are watching streams or rationalizing game play as “just a little bit”. These are easy triggers for me to avoid to stay away from games.
As a fellow introvert, I understand how you feel when it comes to not being driven by going out and socializing. I *do* encourage you to focus on improving your social skills – even as an introvert – because it will help balance you out. (This is from my own personal experience as an introvert as well!)
However, as an introvert, you need that strong mental stimulation, so finding activities that stimulate you mentally is important. Above your comment I shared a list of 58 hobby ideas. Check those out and see if any of them fit. Also, I’d *highly* encourage you to pick up a hobby that involves physical activity. It will make a significant difference.
Thank you Cam for the time you spend providing helpful insights! I do have hobbies and activities. The main one is trying to understand the human mind and how it functions, I spend most of my time researching various topics. Although ironically I had a mental addiction which I hope is in the past now. I’ll also likely return to a gym schedule because I do love the gym. An important thing for me right now is to get into a habit of reading Your article on how to quit video games forever, because it really motivates! Again, my deepest gratitude, Cam!
@ Luke – Great to hear from you again! Sounds like you’re on the right path! Keep me updated. I’m happy to help in any way!
Thank you Cam for doing what you do and did, ill say sorry in advance if my english isnt perfect, im a french Canadian.
I for many years didnt think i was ”addicted” to video games, i more tought i was ”normally” playing them for fun, because i liked it, and i believe it was the case when i was younger, until i was around 20-something.
Later and with the years, i found myself tired of playing games, what i mean is that instead of enjoying it normally, i would feel tired, and, if i wouldnt be able to play a game like i was hoping to play, if i had trouble or wasnt good at it, it would annoy me, and i would end up feeling worse, and also more tired, than to be having fun.
But, even feeling that way, i would keep playing video games, would stay inside entire summers, while my other family members were outside and doing other things.
Younger i got bullied, so i guess that focusing on games and yes it was fun, but i think that focusing on games, was an escape and some other things like that, but at that time i was not thinking about this like that.
I am now 32, and owning a Ps3, still playing some games, but with the years, i became much more selective, BUT, i still feel tired, but i keep playing.
I am so tired that at times, so what i do is go out, take walks, ive been doing that for a while and i believe this really shows that i trully want to stop.
I just played the new Metal Gear Ground Zeroes, and im telling myself that Metal Gear Phantom Pain that is coming out later would be my last game. I told myself i would maybe buy the Ps4 if they would release Mafia 3(i just cleared Mafia 2 and completly/all tasks that can be done), and i loved it, and so… im thinking like this :
Mafia 3 would be great, but at the same time i hope they dont release it because i would want to play it and would have to buy the ps4, and it would make it where i would again be stuck playing games…
I want to/will find things to do that i like MORE than video games, i think that to think about this will help me move on.
I think i will always love video games, but like you, maybe only watching videos would help, but at the same time, and like you said, watching videos might be too tempting, so maybe for me and some people, even only watching videos wouldnt be good.
Like i said, i believe the Ps3 would be my last console, because i really want to do other things, and stop feeling tired, OH, by tired i more mean like that i feel drained, and the more i feel like this, well its not a good feeling.
Also, Yes its a social thing because on ps3, we also have this Social Game called PS Home, and i met people there, people that like games that i like, and even if we play games that arnt multiplayer, we can still talk about it, and we like to tell each other ”hey i did this in the game”, or ”did you know we can do that??”, so even if were not playing multiplayer games, Social Networks and games like PS Home can also be another ”trap”.
OMG i feel like my message might be the longuest you got lol, but anyway, thank you so much for what you did, and still do, i dont think i always was addicted to video games, but with the years if it didnt became an addiction, it became some kind of ”crutch” for when i didnt have anything to do, also not having alot of friend, have been bullied, etc.
Ill stop writting now because i could go on, thank you very much again and im sorry for my message being so long.
Cam, i just tought about something… do you think i should get rid of my Ps3 asap ??
im scared of reacting, you know like ppl addicted to drug, they can have this kind of reaction, of course a ps3 isnt drugs, but ive been playing games for so many years and im kinda upset i might have some kind of reaction, like cry and things like that.
I can go out and take walks, but i dont really have friends these days, most ppl i know have kids and are too busy and dont go out, and i dont feel like starting to make new friends and all, so…. i dont know what to do.
If i sell my ps3 and games right now, i wouldnt have the money to re-buy another one and so i would be ”stuck”, at the same time freed, but yes… im scared 🙁
Please let me know what you think on this, thank you so much again.
Hi Cam,
thanks for your great article, everything you write is so true. I’m a 25 year old female from Germany and I’ve been playing videogames since theaAge of 5. I’ve had a good childhood though and until I was about 13 or 14 games were a part of my life but not a part that was more important than others. I’ve been doing sports, strolling around with my friends outside, reading a lot and learning how to draw and to play the flute. An absolutely normal child. Things changed when I entered the Gymnasium ( where you go after the 4 years od elementary school here in Germany). I lost most of my friends and though I had not so many problems finding a fwe new ones I really struggeld to integrate myself in the class, because of having more male orientated hobbies and starting family problems. So I stayed an outsider for the rest of my school life and it was hard not to feel accepted. I also had problems at home, fighting with my stepfather and my mother just giving up, because she didn’t know what to do. I’ve not known my real father until the age of 21, because he never was interested in me and I didn’t have the strentgh to search for him so I was very lonely at home and in school. Videogames somehow gave thefFeeling of sense and purpose, of sucess and of shutting out the real life and all the problems. So I playe more and more. And nearly all of my few friends where doing the same. Running away and get lost in those dream worlds. Doing it together we didn’t feel it being a problem. But then I graduated from school I was suddenly very alone. And to endure the lonlyness and the feeling of being a looser I played more and more. My favourite genre: RPGs… . Dream worlds where I’m always the one to save the day 😉 To be a hero. But I dindn’t feel well with it all and so I wanted to quit playing and I knew I have to do it cold turkey (it’s a funny word, I recently learned it here on this site^^). I’ve been doing this for three times already and I’m prepared now to try the fourth time. It’s one thing to quit but another to stay clean, but what really motivates me to try over and over again is that I feel a change. The time between my attempts of quitting grow shorter every time and the intensity of gaming is weaker every time. On the other hand, my clean periods get longer every time. I don’t think anyone can quit on their first try but the important thing is to not give up. One Thing that really helps me improving my social skills (which is pretty hard for me, because I have developed a social phobia as a result of my experiences, and though I’ve been in a sucessfull therapie, it’s still a lot of hard work to do things that are absolutely normal for other people) is having two dogs. I meet so many friendly people when on a walk with my dogs and they start talking to me about my dogs and I’m imediately in conversation without having any effort ;).
So…I’ll be trying to really quit gaming this time and good luck to the rest of you who have the same wish. We can make it! There’s more in life than Videogames!
P.S.: Feels good just to share some experiences^^ Sorry for my maybe not so good English, I did my best 😉
Regards, Sina
Sorry for my long comment and forgeting to use the “enter” key -_-
@ Mylène – Thanks for commenting! So cool that you are french Canadian! Did you know I’m originally from Calgary?
I definitely relate to your story! I don’t think I was always addicted either but it evolved over time and became worse. Remember, just because you can play games doesn’t mean you have to. You can stop whenever you want and I give you full permission to do that!
It’s important to find new activities to do that are fun and engaging like games are! You don’t need to buy the PS4 or play those games. Also avoid watching streams, it will only make you want to play.
I would get rid of your PS3 ASAP for sure. Taking walks is good but it’s not the same type of mental stimulation as games provide, so it won’t be a perfect solution to moving on from games. Does that make sense?
Happy to help in any way possible. Let me know if I can help!
@ Sina – Thanks for commenting! Very cool that you’re from Germany! I was just in Germany for a month in November! It’s a beautiful country!
It’s amazing that you’ve noticed that you WANT to quit. This is a powerful realization. It took me a few attempts to quit too. It’s important to just keep pushing on and not being worried about whether you’ve relapsed or not. YOu just keep pushing on and learning how to not play games.
Maybe I should get a dog! That sounds great! I’ve always wanted one but I’m travelling too much right now. But I can totally see how it would help you socialize because you and the other person already have something in common.
Thank you for sharing your story. I love when others open up and be vulnerable! It helps to show everybody else that they are not alone. You’re an inspiration!
Hi Cam, and yes i tought its great that you are from Calgary :), are you still doing conferences ??
I know that i dont have to play games, but its like my brain wants to, there is still a part of me that likes games because theyre fun, nice and cool, but it seems they drain me too much.
Its like that guy that said in a previous comment that he tried to play less, but that he cant, that for him it was to not play at all, or be a video game slave.
Im at a stage in my life where im like that too, i or play too much and games are too much consuming and so i would have to stop completly to be ok.
It sucks that some people, like us cannot normally enjoy video games, it does something to us thats not good anymore.
I understand that taking walks is very different, but thing is video games kept me indoor so much that i feel like it would help, and i do want to take walk and get in better shape a little, im not obese but a little overweight. Im also thinking to go to the gym, for now i cannot afford, but in a month or two i might.
If i get rid of my ps3, im afraid i might have a strong reaction… im afraid i might get ”stuck” and not knowing what to do, but i tell myself that i would have no choice to do something else since i wouldnt have it anymore….
Do you really think i should get rid of it asap or that maybe i should try to not play for a few weeks ? do you think that talking like this means that im trying to resist and to not get rid of it ??
hi cam,
after another year of wasting my time with videogame not knowing what to do, spending alone @ new years celebration(that wasnt bad at all) i dicided:”not another year where i do someting that i dont want to do and has no outcome”. Its sucks to do something that you cant show to your family and friends.
So i started to buy some plants, so i have to water them every or every two day. This leads me This lead me to playing from online to only offline games, stating reading more and more, because reading is good for your brain ;).
Started meditation, started learning programming “yeah output”, and then stopping gaming completly. Going out sometimes to play some basketball alone, because its fun to try to score a goal. Now im stoped gaming completly, im glad i dont have the feel of “i have to play” anymore.
I learned that everything needs time and that you cant change overnight. That a brains needs 9 months to rebuild. And that plants are awesome.
bye everyone
@Cam
Thank you so much for your kind words, they’ve encouraged me a lot. Since I wrote my first comment I haven’t played video games for a second and it feels so good for the moment. It’s amazing how much time the games steal you and not even giving you this feeling of really having accomplished anything.
So I’m currently working on two things: 1. I Need to think about how to fill the gap, so I’ll be able to stay clean this time. I think that’s what didn’t work in the past 😉
I know for sure that I love playing in general. My family has a deep passion for playing board and card games together and that’s the difference in my thinking this time…my last attempts in filling the gap, ended with activities to do alone. Which would end in boredom, which would make me vulnerable to playing video games again. Not this time… . I’m going to move with my partner to our new house in 2 months and I’ve already checked about the things possible to to there. I’m saying to myself, that I WILL find people to play card and board games with me. It will help me to improve my social skills AND to do something I love to do and loved to do in the past, when my social phobia hadn’t taken control over my life.
I’m also going to follow the karate club next town, because I love this kind of sport. I have been doing fencing when I was small, it was great 🙂
The 2. Thing is: I have set myself the goal to move to our house without owning a singel Video game. Ebay be my helping hand 😉
I’ll let you know if it worked^^
I’m happy you liked Germany^^
Greetings from the Rhine
@ Mylène – Yes I am still speaking with youth and also hosting workshops to help people overcome their video game addiction. I also do coaching online through Skype! It’s A LOT of fun to work with people and help them!
Yes get rid of it. It’s a very liberating thing to do! But also find some new activities you can do. Make sure you look through the list I posted above in a previous comment, it will help you a lot.
Also, quitting games doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Yes it sucks that some people like us can’t play them in moderation, but to be honest, my life is so awesome now without games that I don’t miss them at all! It takes time to get there though.
@ Mike – Thanks for commenting! That’s amazing to hear that you’ve been able to move on from games! Thank you for sharing your story – it will be an inspiration to others!
@ Sina – Thanks for coming back and commenting again. Isn’t it incredible how much of a difference you feel when you play games and when you don’t? When you’re playing all the time you don’t even notice how you feel – you just become numb. Continue to pay attention to how awesome you feel when you’re not playing, it will be useful as a reminder every time you feel like playing again.
What you’re noticing is that the social component is a key one for why you play games. This means that you need to fulfill the social component in any new activities you take on, OR, you need to take on new activities + fulfill the social component in another way! Karate sounds perfect!
Great work! Keep me updated on your progress.
Cam,
I love playing League of Legends and am trying to quit, but when I uninstall I just can’t not play. I always end up reinstalling and playing again the next day. When I’m not playing, I just feel sick and can’t keep my mind of League. What do I do? Im 14 btw.
@ Nathan – Thanks for commenting! So cool that you’re 14. The key is to follow the advice in the article. You need to have a firm commitment not to play, but also to find new activities to do. Try something that is physical and active outdoors. Maybe rock-climbing? If you look at a few comments above, you can find a list of 58 hobby ideas we put together for you!
Thank you very much Cam for your replies, you really make a difference, i feel so much better since i found and been reading the blog.
I wish i could be at one of youre conferences, maybe one day 🙂
I didnt get rid of my ps3 yet, but since ive been reading youre blog, ive been able to play less and i feel much better.
Thank you very much again, ill keep reading the blog as this is a treasure, and ill update you on my situation a bit later.
For Nathan,
i know what youre going through, ive been re-buying and re-playing certain games a few times ; one of them was Resident Evil 5 GE, one of my favorite games. I traded it, then i bought it again, and some time ago i traded it again, and then Again i felt like re-buying it. So far i was able to resist and so i didnt re-buy it, also, i know that i wont because i know that its better for myself. Just as im typing this i feel like playing, but i know that if i was to re-buy and play it again, that i would just go back in time, instead of moving foward and do other things, better things. Good luck and know that you arnt alone 😉
@ Mylène – Thanks! I’m so happy to hear you’ve been feeling better and playing less! Please keep me updated on your progress. I’d love to help any way I can!
Ok, so I just wanted sent my full point across because I didn’t feel I put in enough effort in the last comment. So I told you about my serious addiction to a video game called halo wars which I still currently play almost all day every day. I also play a game called Minecraft on the pc, which I also play for quite a long time. But it’s not as serious as how i take halo wars. On Halo wars I’ve pretty much proven to myself that I am pretty much unbeatable, killing everyone who is a lower rank than me. And sometimes the highest rank. But their is just that 1 time where i find that 1 person who just completely obliterates me. And I try so damn to try every single strategy that I know, that I hoped would turn the tables. But that didn’t happen. That person would successfully counter all my attacks and simply put me out of my misery. After I experience something like this, I get majorly angry. So angry that I would just pick anything up whether it’s just my controller or my phone, and just throw it at the wall. And I would do this way more than just once normally. And after I’ve recovered from my massive tantrum. This would usually mean my parents coming in and calming me down, I would just feel so miserable, defeated, and still very angry. And to me that is a perfect reason to give up video games. So I tried by just sitting and watching movies or reading a book, which isn’t easy. While doing these things video games would just pop into my head. And I would just stop what I’m doing and have a good long think. “Do I play video games” “Shouldn’t I play video games”. This takes me over 20-30 minutes to finally figure out what to do. I did things like read through your entire article over and over, also reading what other people have to say about why they quit video games. But it just didn’t connect with me. So in the end i decided I would just casually sneak on them for a measly half an hour or so. But after the half hour is up I would say, “just.. just a bit more maybe”. And I knew it, I was back into my usual video gaming routine. Part of me said “my god I’m such an idiot”. And the other part said “why on earth would I even think about quitting video games?”. It’s the exact same with Minecraft. I play it for about 4-8 hours a day. I’m not that good at it as I am with halo wars, which is a good reason just to quit it. I play mostly the Survival Games on Minecraft. Which Is what I mostly play on the server. Now as I’m not that good a player there is a greater danger of me dying. Which is exactly what happens! Do I still continue to play? Yes! And I mostly know that is completely stupid of me. So do I gain anything from video games? No not particularly, apart from busted up equipment,a strained back, neck, and aching hands. But there is 1 good things about video games. They’re entertaining as fuck. I found that getting all the chills and adrenaline rushes just pleased me to mo the maximum. And so the addiction takes hold! But what I don’t understand is that there is a big world out there, and there is a real life for me to live. Which is why I know it is important that I actually go out as much as much as I possibly can. Away from my video gaming cave. I believe the only time I should be in that house is when I need to sleep. But that is easier said than done. Video games have taken a huge toll on my sleeping patterns. I would be extremely tired playing video games throughout the whole day. And all hyped up and pumped through most of the night. I know, and my parents know. That this is extremely unhealthy for me to be doing this to myself. And being really tired during the day just means that I’m to tired to be going out anyway. But I’m never too tired to play video games. Video games have messed up so many of my mental and physical health abilities. That most normal humans have.
I don’t talk much, get sick more often than everyone else I the house, easily startled, making more mistakes when I’m out in public doing something sociable(which is only when my parents force me),always day dreaming thinking about Vedic games when I get back home. And I’ve known for a long time now. This isn’t the life I want to live. I just need that extra self control and will power to be able to make my future life a reality. Thank you.
@ John – Thanks for commenting again! Everybody has their own journey and what’s most important is that you’ve been able to continue to learn more about what you do and do not want.
When you quit playing games you focused on watching movies and reading, which are good, but you want to try and find activities that engage you in the same way as video games do.
When you play games you’re stimulated, you’re engaged, you’re excited. These aren’t the same feelings you get when you watch a movie or read, so while doing these activities you will still feel that sense of loss and desire to play games more.
I recommend finding a physical activity, something like martial arts or rock-climbing, something that you can be social in and also move your body, because the feelings you get from the exercise will help you a lot to improve your mood!
Keep working hard, you’re on the right path.
– Cam
Hi !
I want to thank for creator of this article and all the commentators. You gave me inspiration to quit gaming for all ! I find encouraging to read all these stories and I want to share my thoughts and experience about gaming.
I was playing games quite much in my childhood . I pretty much stopped playing then I entered the high school. When I entered university I started to play again. I noticed what after playing, became harder to stop myself from playing more. I gain kind of need for playing during casual studying days, and find other things more and more boring. My concentration span somehow on other things as studying history or writing decreased. When I decided to quit gaming but I couldn’t hold temptation and started to watch how others play and end up playing again. I felt bad about it so I decided to limit my gaming time to just weekends but I do not fell that is really worked out because willingness to play increases with each day. Lastly I mostly played RTS games making excuses that it improves my thinking. Sometimes I planned to play for few hours and go do something else but ended up playing whole day…
From today I decided to quit gaming forever even if I feel what going to miss playing games, but I understand that games just make more damage to me then use. (sorry for my English)
Hey Cam – just to point out the obvious: you certainly struck an accord with people. =]
I certainly did not read every comment above, as I’m a late comer to this lan party, but just skimming showed many of us share the same experiences. Same games, same hours played, same time frame we all started down our addiction: CS! My guess some of us commenters probably killed each other with the noob-tube at some point given all the hours we played.
Also, think about how we all got here, look at the title of your article. There are subscribers to this site no doubt, but google pulled it up after I searched that title for some reason. People are searching for answers, similar stories, a place to share, and next steps. A few reasons I am here is to write and share.
Some of my close friends know my struggles, but let’s face it, most addictions are not flattering to talk about. We are not avoiding judgement by our friends, just avoiding the awkwardness, or at least that’s what I tell myself haha. Really though, this isn’t a personal addiction. Like you said in your article, it is social in a way. A bit odd by some standards, but one reason why I continued so long as I did was because of the friendships I made. Most state-side, but some overseas. Also because of the ‘real-life’ friends I had played as well. Most of us were in the military or college playing together so we shared tons of online and offline time together.
However, as many of them ‘matured’ (I use that lightly as I’m not sure about another word for this) my list of friends began to decline significantly. So at the start, maybe 20 real life friends played and 50 or so online ones played. Everything from CS, BF 2142, UT2K4, and finally, World of Warcraft. I could write a book alone about my experiences in WoW, let alone all the other social gaming I did. These are for the reasons you mentioned, challenge, growth etc. At the time when I started to play it in 2005, I had just returned from Iraq and certainly needed something to disengage my mind from what I had gone through.
So there I was playing in a guild with real friends, with some awesome older adults living all across the USA and Canada. So these groups knew each other, had past history with online games, and we rocked WoW. Not only the content, but LAN parties and all. Some real friendships began. To this day, I’m still in contact with some of them. Posting on forums, skype etc. Anyway, once the ‘key’ people leave a guild or group, it is hard to recover. They are a foundation which everyone is comfortable with, and when they leave the change is too great. Small story short, some great people left for personal reasons and the decline began.
I’m okay with that you know. Never would I expect to garner such relationships and experiences through electrons on the monitor, but I did and I’m glad it happened. Really after 2010, many of my good friends had moved on, yet I was still clinging to the things of my youth. Like many of you, it was habit, ‘new’ games were really old ones. Got expansions but couldn’t find the good group of friends again. One problem I know, I compared every experience to the hay days, and nothing compared, so then I was always disappointed. Haha, I’m my own worst enemy like usual.
In early 2013 I built a new PC. A few months later I put it on Craigslist, took it off, put it back on. Finally I committed to it, and sold in in Feb of 2014. Right now, as I type this I miss it. Oh man, that thing was amazingly fast, booted up in 15 sec, and most games ran 60+ FPS in HQ mode. I had to get rid of it. Too much time, too little enjoyment, too expensive even with Steam =]. Right now though I want to traverse the Barrens, send Freeman to kill aliens, use ter’angreal to slay some trollics. Mostly though what I want is to experience the closeness of those friends again. That’s what it really comes down to for me. One thing that has helped me is to acknowledge that it won’t be the same way again.
Anyway, glad I was able to share my experiences I do wish the best for everyone. I’m an all or nothing type so it’s hard for me to regulate my time. For some of us it would be irresponsible to continue to play video games, my family grew so it was time. Maybe you are in the same situation or are dealing with other addictions it comes with being on the internet. Those things do need to go. My recommendation would be if you sought this article out, it’s probably a good idea to stop. Sell your gaming PC, your xbox, playstation etc. Sell your games, monitor, mouse. Throw them out if you have to. Sell that crap for a loss. You must be drastic. Cold turkey like the author states.
Thanks again Cam, good article.
@ Tobias – Thanks for commenting! I’m happy you found it inspiring to read others stories. I would love to share more of them! Your English is good! Great job! Also, I’m proud of you for quitting gaming. It’s WORTH it. Remember to follow the advice in the article – it WORKS. Let me know if I can help in any way!
@ LaughterJones – Thanks for commenting! It’s been amazing to see the response (and it still continues today!)
It truly is fascinating to see how many of us have shared the same experience.
The reason I wrote the article actually is exactly what you said: people are searching for the answer. The thing is, before, they would get a bullshit answer like “study more” which clearly doesn’t work. So I wrote a big rant about what to actually do (this article) and it’s worked really well for people. I’m honored by that.
One thing you mentioned was that you are your own worst enemy. I want to encourage you (and challenge you!) to change this to being your own best friend. It will truly make a massive difference.
I definitely like your suggestion of selling the devices. For me the thing that helped the most was not having that access. I even went as far as scheduling a lot of things to do every day so I wasn’t at home and “bored” to play.
Thanks for your input, it’s valuable. Let me know if I can help in any way!
Hey Cam
After about 7 months of no gaming, I went back to it but this time around I don’t feel bad about doing so (Although I’m more of a casual gamer who plays offline these days).
You see during those gruelling 7 months I gained a better understanding of myself as a person, as well a newfound level of control in my life.
My life didn’t change drastically even months after I had quit gaming and that was when I began to realise that my “gaming addiction” was actually masking the real problems in my life. Namely, the amount of time I spent looking up random nonsense on the internet, pushing aside my talents as a writer to study subjects I didn’t feel passionate about, and my lack of courage to simply get started on career moves that would better my standard of living.
It’s kind of pitiful now that I look back on the way I’ve been squandering my potential while my friends (including the ones who are gamers) moved ahead with their careers.
These days I use my PS3 as my muse to store artworks and music for when I’m working on my debut novel trilogy.
It feels liberating to walk past or switch on my PS3 saying “I can play anytime I want to but right now, I need to get XP to level up myself in the real world”.
Hi Cam,
Feels good to get your support. Thank you again. I will let you know how things will go after some months.
Wish you peace and happiness !
@ Kevin – Thanks for commenting and congrats on reaching 7 months without games! It’s incredible to see that you put in the commitment to stay away from games for the amount of time necessary before you could learn more about yourself and come back to them in a healthy way!
Ultimately I think it’s about turning your life into the ultimate video game. Thanks for the update, come back and update me again sometime soon!
@ Tobias – Thanks!
I finally found my true passion- riding scooters. And then, when I logged on to my favorite game, I found it completely pointless and boring. It’s the same deal with every other game I played afterwards. Pointless and boring. So, in a sense, I kind of quit without trying.
@ Paul – Thanks for commenting! I’m stoked you found your true passion. Wish you the best of luck moving forward.
I must say that i’m.. truly moved by this article. And not in the good way.
Been playing computer and console games since 1988. But i have NEVER read so much crap about video games and the ones who play them. Even my kids play games and we have so much fun doing this. As much as going out, or sports or any other kind of activity that involves relaxing your brain OR TRAINING IT the same time. One must be TRULY ignorant or plain bat shit crazy to do an article like this. Or at least.. think this way. Competition is part of our nature. As we evolve our brain goes into more detailed activities such as – Gaming. This requires A LOT more brains than any OTHER kind of activity – I will not go as far as saying that low IQ people don’t play games.. But they kinda don’t. Nor do they care/like or understand this way of life as self improvement.
We enjoy life to the full extent PLAYING Video Games, also doing everything humans do – Parents out there: LET YOUR KIDS PLAY! Makes them sharper, more into fast decision making and way faster to react to real things in life. Games train our brains as much as fitness trains our body’s or as much as reading books or doing all the cerebral things that humans do.. only here GAMES do a lot more.
It’s very sad to see that more and more adults with empty lives or regrets from the past criticize a “world” that they NOT ONLY do not understand.. but also blame for all the bad things that happen to them or their kids. People that play computer games are also the smartest breed of humans we have yet. Ask any prodigy child if he likes pc games.. The answer is already.. rhetorical.
In the end i want to add one more thing… Why would any right minded human would EVER want to STOP PLAYING games. Here I include ANY kind of “game” the human race has ever conceived from the stone age till .. .Today.
Think a bit.
PS: If anyone who ever touched any kind of “game” in his life tells me he just quit ! That’s a fucking hypocrite right there Sir !
@ James
Jeez…so much rage so early in the morning? Whew I am cracking up right now. Ha ha. Sigh…okay I’ll try to entertain my boredom for while with your ridiculously narrow minded comment because you’re comically missing the point.
From what I know, this article was NOT written to bash gaming or the gamer lifestyle. It was written mostly for those who game to the extent that it has become a PROBLEM which is causing their lives to FALL APART. If you’ve really read through some of the comments then you’ll notice that many of these people have lost things that were highly important to them. E.g. Jobs, girlfriends, relationships with family members and even university and career opportunities. SERIOUS freakin’ issues man. Or do you think that they’re just going out of their way to make paragraphs of shit up so that your beloved wife, aka gaming gets a bad rep? No offence but you sorta sound like an overly touchy husband from the tone of your comment and WRITING IN BOLD to get your point across.
So you play video games and you enjoy them and think they’re beneficial to kids. Big whoop! I feel the same way but it doesn’t give me a licence to be a dick and label others who are trying to rebuild their lives or generally better themselves as “hypocrites”. As a casual gamer I can personally relate to what happens when we let our gaming pastime get out of hand.
I find it shocking to believe that someone with your level of maturity and inability to see the big picture, actually has kids.
I suspect you’re either a troll or a ginormous man child with some serious growing up to do…
Cheers bra – take a chill pill and stay frosty
@ James – Thanks for coming by to comment. I think you missed the point of the article. Happy to hear you’re able to play and it’s working out for you and your family.
@ Kevin – Thanks for helping with the response to James. I appreciate you taking the time to clarify on behalf of the community.
First, very good article, makes one think. Few years ago, I had to quit gaming because of RSI in my wrists from hour upon hour spent playing Starcraft 2 + using computer at work.
At first I kept playing, sick but true, I kept playing through the pain. Just shows something about how addicted one can be. Had a friend who broke his finger, he had to keep it calm for a period of time, but it was at the time we played WoW and he couldn’t resist playing. They had to remove the finger because it couldnt heal up.
But really, getting RSI was the best thing that has happend to me the last few years, as my doctor recommended me training my wrists, this has snowballed into 3 training sessions a week, 1-2 times running with one of my friends and mountain biking with some other friends.
I just had some relapse when Diablo 3 and the expansion came out, just shows that I cant control myself if its put there in front of me. “oh I will just play 30 minutes, then I will do the important things” lol
Anyway respect for you still answering people !
Wow, your story and willpower is inspirational! I looked this article up after watching your Tedx talk and I gotta say that I was resonating with what you were saying. Especially these days with social mobile games and how accessible your phone is, i feel like it’s even easier than before to become addicted.
Thanks for your story and it really makes me pause to reflect on the time that i spend playing games.
Chris
hi
im 16 years old and im year 10 at one of the best schools in australia, i have wonderful friends a loving family and a very amazing life but with one problem
im addicted to computer games
in particular dota 2
now i am at the point where it becomes my only thought, my grades are slipping and i have played around 1700 hours of this game in less then a year and considering that theres nearly 9000 hours in a year that scares me how much time i devote to it, i have played the game to an extreme level entering into tournaments and staying up till rediculous hours just to play it and to try and get better. this page has ‘shown me the light’ and i now want to commit to stopping and i thought that i would first confess in public to my addiction something of which i have never done before
so i would like to thank you for making this page and giving me the strength for what i hope to be the start to a new me.
@ Rasmus – Thanks for commenting! I’m definitely similar to you where I have a hard time controlling my game time if it’s in front of me. I try to avoid watching live streams and reading forums on gaming for that exact reason. It’s just not worth it in the end for me. It’s ok for you to be this way. There are many other activities you can do that are fulfilling! Thanks for sharing your story with me.
@ Chris – Thanks for commenting! Very cool site too btw. I’ve bookmarked it for the future! It is definitely easier to be addicted now than ever, with the easy access to games and the low barrier of entry. That type of self-reflection is always a positive. 🙂
@ Hamish – Thanks for commenting! So cool that you are 16 years old and from Australia! Your commitment is a big turning point in your life! I hope you’re excited about this! Even though it can be scary, it’s important to remember the vision you have for your life and how moving on from games is a piece of that!
I’m proud of you Hamish! Let me know if I can help in any way.
Hey there, read your article and its amazing how much we have in common.
But anywho, i know i play to much video games. i know this because my friends tell me i do, they will invite me out to go somewhere but i will say no and most of the time fake an illness or say im doing something else just so i dont have to go and can stay home and continue playing video games (World of warcraft, Diablo 3, League of legends and many more)
I know its effecting my life in a negative way, i have been single since highschool im 25 now, and havent even been close to a relationship with a girl since highschool, ive had one night stands after going to the bar but thats not a relationship.
I have little to no ambition to do anything with my life, sometimes i get days where im like okay im done with this, im devoting the rest of my time on improving my life to something i want, i want a girlfriend, i want to fall in love, i want to have kids and i want to experience life. but that lasts a day or two then i realise that it takes effort and social skills (Which i have none of btw) and then i get discouraged and go back to where i know i fit in Video Games.
I consider video games as my childhood parent, growing up with a family that was toxic/hostile and well to put it not very good parents. i turned to video games to distract me from the horribleness i felt when i was at home. Starting with NES/SNES to put it in contrast, i beat Zelda: A link to the past 18 times as a kid, and to anyone that knows that game you know how long it took to beat. my first multiplayer online game was Call of Duty 1 and when i found out about clans and being a part of something i fell in love to put that into contrast, i know the same people still from my original clan from Call of Duty 1 and still play video games with them.. Thats something like 10-13 years of my life, and were still doing the same thing.
Ive tryed to quit so many times and it just doesnt work.. The 2 or 3 times where i was serious about it i spent maybe a month not playing video games to work on improving my life, and usually that was asking a girl out that i liked. and every time i did that i would get a No or something of the like, the most recent one i asked out said yes, and i felt so good about my self, we went on probably 2 dates and i thought okay well she likes me and then i found out she was dating my lead hand at work and was only saying yes to me because she didnt want to hurt my feelings or some crazy crap. But anywho everytime this happens i go back into my shell of playing video games.
I put so much effort into stopping it and then life slaps me in the face and pushes me back.
How the heck do u stay serious after putting in alot of effort to improve your life and see no benefit from it?
I used to play a lot of videogames with my schoolmates and got addicted to some extent(no urge, but everything else was boring). Then I saw your post ans I succeeded to stay away from games for about a year now. However it was last month when I got caught again. I have to study quite a lot for economics college exams(50% dropout rate) and started to use games as an easy escape. If I’ve read for some hours I lack the motivation to read a fiction book, draw something or stuff like that. Games provide some stimulation then. Maybe it’s also because I don’t have many social contacs. In college it’s easy to find guys and girls to get drunk with but that’s just not what I’m looking for. My goal is to create things(photographs, books, maybe a small business) rather than consume media(games,facebook etc.). The problem is, I’m perfectionist and when I start something I stop early because I tell myself I’m just wasting my time. I just decided to give it a new try and to go cold turkey again, no more exception. Wish me luck 😉
btw. thanks a lot for this post, it seems to be a common problem nowadays
Hello Peter, it is great you already acknowledge that you have a gaming problem. However, you are wrong when you say that everything in real life takes effort and that you fail to be social. The fact that you’ve been in contact with people for 10-13 years means you ARE socially capable to interact with people. This also takes some serious effort to do on day-to-day basis.
It seems you’re too much looking at the outcome and not for the process of improvement. You’ve been dating girls, but not having a relationship. But it seems that the dates are easier to get? But your focus is wrong. Having a girlfriend is nice, but a relationship is so much more. You’d need to be able to communicate about your problems, about your wishes and dreams, be interested in what they have to say and do.
You already are capable of figuring out a lot of things, since any dedicated gamer who is able to defeat a game multiple times knows that from experience it’ll be easier and faster every time. Once you put this dedication in practice, and preferably for something you’re passionate about, then you’ll grow to the next level. Try things that interest you, photography, web design, programming, technology reviews, woodcrafting or join a chess club even! Just make sure your new hobby and hopefully passion has those 4 important traits:
A temporary escape
Constant measurable growth
A challenge
Social
From my own experience I can say this works and it worked for a lot of other people. You just need to be really willing to break this habit and be dedicated for your new good habit.
You might need to cut bonds with your gaming friends as they could draw you back into gaming. This seems harsh, but you have to think about yourself, they can’t do that for you. Surround yourself with people who do what you’d love to do and who you’d love to become. You are a reflection of your environment.
I am sure Cam will motivate and support you all the way if needed, just like quite a lot of other people over here. You took the first step to reach out, don’t hide back in your shell from now and, accept these ideas and stick to it. Make friends, talk to your barber or cashiers in the grocery store to verify if you’re able to have small talks. Just do it.
@ Peter West – Thanks for commenting! Raphael commented below with a lot of incredible advice! For willpower, I highly recommend watching this talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_fQvcBCNbA
And make sure you check out Raphael’s comment. He gave some amazing advice for you! Thanks for sharing your story with me. I believe in you, you CAN quit if you want to. Also notice that when you get rejected by a girl you go back to games. This shows that rejection is one of your triggers and/or that games are fulfilling an element of your life that is lacking when you are rejected.
@ Nobody Again – Thanks for commenting! Congrats on staying away for a YEAR! That’s amazing!
It’s important to find a hobby that you can do when you need to relax (tired from studying). I would recommend a physical activity (get the blood pumping) but you also need a more laid back activity as well. The social side would be a good place to start for this. Thanks for sharing your story.
@ Raphael – Thanks for commenting and helping to provide value for others. This is a big help for me!
I was able to make it past 500 days without playing video games, but then I did something stupid and started playing Minecraft again, because my friend wanted me too. This past month has been unproductive, mind numbing, and just plain stupid. I’m quitting again though, and I’m going to start by giving away everything I own on the multiplayer server that I play on.
Looking back, quitting video games has been quite beneficial for me, but it hasn’t solved everything. I filled part of the void left from playing video games with running, which resulted in my making it on varsity for cross country. During the first meet of the season, I improved my 5k time from 22 min to 17 min, which would have never happened had I continued to abuse my computer for entertainment. My diet has improved as well, as I went from 16% body fat to 10% body fat. I also get more sleep, and I lift weights fairly consistently. Not all of the changes I experienced were physical though. I never turn in homework assignments late for example, and I’ve started to read more. There are still a lot of changes I need to make in my life however.
Looking forward now, the amount of things that I need to, and want to do, in addition to the kind of person I want to become, is overwhelming. For the past few months, I have been paralyzed by over analyzing things. I spend each day modifying and questioning my current goals and plans, only to change them slightly weeks later. This will end though, because tomorrow I take control of my life, like I did over a year ago when I quit playing video games. Hopefully, others will recognize that video games are hindering their dreams and plans, as I did.
@Peter West – I have many of the same ambitions as you. Falling in love with a girl, getting married, and raising a family are some of my inmost desires. I have other dreams, but getting married leads the list.
Looking at my current situation however, it’s clear that a girl wouldn’t be interested in me, or at least not one I that I would find worth pursuing. Just like you, my social skills are lack luster, and the majority of friends that I have made, have been made though a common interest in video games. If I was crazy enough to ask a girl out as my current self, she would probably tell me:
“You’re extremely negative. You never listen to other people, and you only want to talk about yourself. You criticize everyone, and you like to show off. You also don’t have any friends. So the answer is no.”
I don’t know what girls or other people think of you, but I figure the best we can do is to start improving ourselves, so that we become the person that the person we’re looking for, is looking for. Yeah, it might take a while, but it is sure as hell better than wasting our time playing video games day after day after day. Failure is inevitable, but it will become less frequent, and someday, perhaps we’ll both be sitting next to our wives, glad that we had some initiative in our lives.
Nice article, and indeed more valuable than all the bullshit articles that are obviously written by people who have never been addicted to videogames.
I’ve quit cold turkey, four times.
Every single time, I came back because of friends or my brother, people I’d love to spend time with but just can’t – my brother is in France, one of the other guys is one of my two best friends.
Still, every time I come back to it I just can’t handle it and I’m on a highway to destroying my life, relationships, company…
I believe your article is priceless for mentioning the social aspect, as I’m working alone from home, I’m missing a lot of that and it’s the biggest driver.
Other than that, one major thing about games is that unlike life, your progress is recognized. If you’re the best SC2 player, you just have to login and bash your way to #1 GM Korea and you’ll be invited by the #1 SC2 team in less than a month. If you’re one of the best programmers, well nobody will ever know unless you’re also one of the best marketers…
Lastly, I’d love to have some teamwork in real life, like a joint venture, but I just can’t find partners I feel I can respect for their work.
Being ultra-competitive often brings you to a point where you’re way too good to just mingle with people who are not and hope it’s going to work. I think that and perfectionism are two great personality traits that are also video game baits.
Your story is so similar to mine it’s almost scary (and I’m sure to many others).
-Competitive CS / CS:S (Cevo P / Cal I / CGS)
-WoW & Diablo
-Moved to Victoria BC to escape
-Have ignored events, family, and friends
-10+ years of on and off addiction
Well, today is the second day of my realization that I have a serious problem that requires major changes.
My solution? For the first time in my life I’m going to get rid of my desktop PC and my computer desk. No longer will I have a default space I go to straight after work, or first thing in the morning on weekends. When I need to send email and do online banking, I’ll use my laptop and sit on the couch or on the floor.
I cannot ‘make games work’, ‘only play on scheduled time’, or just ‘play less’. I have a problem, and can’t control it.
I want to thank you for a very well written article on a complicated and illusive issue, and hope that everyone else suffering from this burden can come to realize how similar it is to substance addiction. If you’re like me and continue to bounce back, I’d advise more drastic steps along side many of the great ideas offered in this article. Don’t just uninstall, put the gaming rig in the closet, take out the video card and use on-board, sell your custom peripherals, and stop making excuses. It’s like an heroin addict keeping syringes next to the bed while trying to quit.
Why risk it?
@ Fossa – Thanks for commenting! That’s absolutely amazing that you were able to make it to 500 days of being game free!
Don’t worry too much about falling back into games. You made it 500 days before, you can do it again. It’s just getting back into your commitment of it and identifying the contrast between the two (which you’ve done well!)
To deal with overwhelm remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint. You have many many many years ahead of you and there’s no need to rush too fast! Focus on structuring your day with the essential things you want to get done and FOCUS. Read this: http://zenhabits.net/focus-book/
Thanks for commenting and also for helping others with your feedback. This is a BIG help to me.
@ Ludovic – Thanks for commenting! The elements you’ve identified are key. Now, one thing to notice is that although having a team atmosphere is nice for work, you are really just looking for that team atmosphere anywhere, so you can join an extra curricular sports team and fill that void in that instead. It doesn’t HAVE to be in your work, although it can.
@ Chase – Thanks for commenting! Isn’t it amazing how similar all of our journeys are?
I really like how you’ve identified what does and doesn’t work for you. That’s a major step forward.
Let me know if I can help in any way!
Really strong article! I read this article a few months ago but didn’t actually go through with quitting video games. About two weeks ago I decided that I had enough with “heavy” video games and stopped playing them. I am 14, and about 98% of teens play video games, so of couse I still play them, but only with friends. There is something alienating about PC gaming. Yes, you can play multiplayer with someone online, but if you have a friend over, only one of you is engaged. On consoles or other types of video games even if one of you are playing, you both are engaged and at least sitting next to each other.
Now that I have stopped playing “heavy” video games it seems like I have so much more time, and can do things that video games wouldn’t have let me do before!
@ Alex – Thanks for commenting! Happy to hear you came back to use it as a resource a second time. Enjoy the newfound time you have to explore other hobbies and interests. You won’t regret it! Hope you’re having a great day!
LT and AK speak so much sense above. Regarding the ‘bad side’ of video games, I don’t understand why for example.. Some users on Steam have many games, but would plough over 4000 hours into TF2 when there are so many other wonderful games to explore.. but maybe that isn’t my business.
@ Anon – Thanks for commenting. I think different games pull different people in. It’s all relative. I’ve also enjoyed the conversation between LT, AK and the rest of the commentators.
This is bullshit.
U can only change from being a “challenger” in a game to beign a “challenger” in a real life. What’s the difference? Because now you can earn money from it ? Because it’s more productive ? Yeah, but for me Cam u didn’t quit playing games, you just moved your addiction from one thing to another.
Now you are addicted in helping and socializing. Can u quit that ?
Everything is addiction in this world, even loving someone, or being crazy about your children. It’s all about productiveness. that’s all. But if u don’t give a shit about beign productive ? What if u are a little chinese guy closed in a system without windows and doors ? Try to help them, not fat and lazy people in USA how have everything to fight their way to their inner more productive life but they are just too lazy to do anything.
In conclusion – it’s not that simple, it’s worldwide problem. We are crushed by systems, corporations, we live in slavery times but now u just dont know that you are a slave, and you work to eat and sleep. Yes, the corporations will do anything, to keep you closed in home. They need slaves, they feed slaves and they even teach in schools how to be a slave, not a business man.
Need a proof ? hunderds milions of people watching TV = addiction+escapism
milions playing games = same
milions shopping = same
milions making their BIG business to feel better than otthers = same
We are all addicted to this sick hedonistic antisocialized world. Earn, buy, earn, buy, earn, buy, earn and die.
Bye 🙂
@ Thinker – Thanks for commenting. I disagree.
Addicted: physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.
I’m not addicted to helping, nor socializing as they are aspects of my life that do not cause adverse effects.
I’d challenge you to expand your perspective of the world and be the change you want to see. You’re trying to put this in a box that it doesn’t exist in.
Hope you have a great day!
You talking about adverse effects of quitting smoking? loving? shopping? helping?
You have plenty of them. You are even addicted to people, because when you leave them, and start beign alone u feel emptiness.
We are dependent on many many things. Now you don’t play Starcraft, but you play your life just like in a game – you like challenges. Can u live in shade without adverse effect ? Even if you quit helping you will need other activities to fulfill your time – that’s our nature, otherwise you will become Buddha. Have u read anthony de mello “awakening” ? Helping people is very egoistic, because u feel “better” when you help someone.
Even now, u want to challenge me ! 🙂 That shows, that deep inside you, you have a addictive gamer. You have returned few times to 12 hour/day gaming. Why not 2 hours ? Because you are challenger, that’s it. That’s motivation for you life – challenges, acceptation, beign popular, fame, money.
You can’t change this.
@ Thinker – I’m unsure what your point is.
My point – you need true understanding of things if u want to quit your “addictive soul”. You for example have quit playing, but your addiction only changed it’s subject.
@ Thinker – Your knowledge of my current experience is incredibly limited. I’d caution you to rush to judgement. 😉
I know one thing. You want to earn money on video game addicts, and that is not cool.
It is impossible to not fill that void – people always need something to do.
What I found most striking about your article was the giving up on friends who tempt you. I find that I will struggle with that one, but I feel it is true.
Except, instead of having addictions, it is better to have hobbies, that benefit us in the real world, not just the virtual world. I love this article. Bookmarked. Thank you Cam.
If I could maybe get you to add something, a huge tip on the practical part of defeating the urges, which you didn’t mention how to do: “Flee from temptation” – a strong commandment from the Bible.
Whether you believe in God or not, I think having this phrase going through your mind helps heaps. Therefore, when applying to life: don’t just stand (or sit) there and try to fight the temptation… run from it! Many people try to ‘reward themselves’. Little do they realise that you need discipline in the first place to exercise this strategy, and they just keep falling into temptation and wonder why nothing is working.
I applied the verse to my life, my addictions, my games. It was powerful. I destroyed my game discs, smashing them with a hammer, not even caring how much money they were worth. I felt a burden had lifted from me, that I was free. And with all the online games, I just changed my passwords and email addresses to random fake ones, and then after I had changed them, I threw them away!
I think this is the best way to practically destroy your addictions. Then we can fill the void with something more beneficial, like DJ-ing!
@ Joshua – Thanks for commenting! Moving on from your social circle can be one of the most difficult aspects, but it is an important one. Unfortunately we are all products of our environment, so our friends tend to reflect the type of behavior we have. That’s OK, it’s nothing against them, it’s just important to find new friends that you can hang out with outside of games. This doesn’t mean you need to move on from your friends either, you just engage them in new ways, like not hanging out with them at your house and focusing on going to movies or other activities instead.
Thank you for your input and feedback. I do agree that having the commitment to move on from your games is an important one. I also think an element to consider is to be at peace with your decision and not to give the temptations too much energy. It’s a chapter in your life that is closing to start a new one instead!
Hello everyone
I recently have made another decision that might bring some interesting aspects into my life.
For quite some time I started to wonder what my life would be without a TV-set.
Can you imagine this? To have no TV? And with that there are no DVD-players, no BluRay-players and also no video game consoles.
As I got rid of the later, my goal here is clearly to engage in a life that doesn’t need movies as much as it does not need video games.
There were some thoughts to it going on for several months now.
One was kinda funny to me. That one came very straight at me, to get rid of any fake hero ever depicted in any movie.
I had my reasons to quit playing video games. But it never crossed my mind that as with video games, while watching a movie, I was maybe searching for a hero figure to fill a gap in my head, a gap that started to grow with my video gaming habbit – the lack of fantasy.
I already told about my new experience when walking home after work and no longer to be bound to video games. Now movies took the place of the games instead. Now no longer looking for my favorite video game character I could identify, it was on the movie characters to reflect some parts of me. Well, that was part of my life too for many years, even more than video game characters. But now I started to see it with movie characters to be.
I was still clinging to an image only a fake character can give.
And yet I was starting to feel something I seemed to have lost years ago. Something very vital to myself, another part of myself.
So I sat awake at night and I thought about a life without tele-vision.
You know this one song from Depeche Mode where Dave sings:”…let me heard you make decisions without your tele-vision….”?
Yeah as it crossed my mind I had to laugh because this one song would have never reached us without television anyway.
What a silly move I detected there.
On my new plan I thought I’m weird. So I started to search the vast space of the internet and I found some very helpful articles.
And so I put my TV-set out of my house, evetually found someone to take it for himself.
Right now I sit here and face some nice packages to be send away. All containing parts of my formost precious movie collection.
Not only do I have more space on the shelves for more books and music CDs, but it makes an emotional difference when looking around my space now.
I could cheat by using the internet? True that I could do that.
But I never had the intention to watch TV on my PC nor do I want to sit there and watch movies.
My PC will remain a useful tool for chatting, searching for new things like more books and music, also as an alternative window into the world out there, to reach places I can not reach by simply go out of my house for now.
It feels different already, only three days sincde my TV-set has gone. I feel something returning.
And as I told about my love for music too, I now even more clear about this.
I know ‘my’ music better. And I have no idea if I’m hallucinating or people are reacting a bit different towards me than they did some days ago?
Has anybody else ever thought about getting rid of TV and movies?
Has anybody else ever had the feeling about how fake movie worlds are?
For me it was a necessary step like it was to quit playing video games. It was about time to leave fake spaces (movies create fake spaces too), that will not open a real window into anything that would effectivlely respond to me.
Like video games, movies do entertain, but this is so passive. No fantasy needed.
Yet I wondered what dragged me into these strange worlds that do show us personas that would never be. Just as fake as video game cgaracters. Nothing there to be idolised either.
But I feel my fantasy starts to slowly return to me. How strange that feels now.
Maybe it has no direct connection to video game addiction, while I however personally do think there are similar bonds to movies as to video games, I wanted to bring this one into the playground.
What do you think?
Greetings from Germany
Michael
since i quit video gaming i hanging all day long on youtube using this stupid commentary function to make fake friends 😀
I am a 15 yrs old boy and I am addicted to League of Legends. It’s just so fun to play, especially with my friends. it involves lots of strategy and teamwork, which is why I like playing. also, I love getting skins and showing them off to other people so they will think I am good. how do I stop?
A week ago my husband walked out on me and our two kids. It hurts so much. I’m 25 and he’s 28. I think what’s hurts the most is that he left us and went back to his ex who put him in prison for 2 years. And now he wants nothing to do w our 3 year old daughter and 6 month old son. He won’t talk to me and I love him w all my heart. I have known him for twenty years. And he was my nest friend. Halloween would have.been our 2 year anniversary. I just wish he would tell me y he left us. If not for me then for the kids. It feels.some days like I just can’t keep going without him. And where we live I literally have no on no family,friends,no one I’m completely alone.here. I have no one to talk to about anything and he knows that he left me w two kids no home and no money to care for the kids and he refuses to help me at all. Worst part is I still love him completely and just. Want him to come back home to us until I met this spell caster online called Dr ikhine brought my husband back to us contact him on agbadado@gmail.ccom or call him on +2347060552255 HELP ALSO
@ Michael – Great to hear from you as always. Funny you mention TV because I haven’t had cable on my TV for many years. (Side note: No microwave either!)
I still watch a little bit of TV but I have found as I’ve gotten busier and busier the time I have for TV is reduced. Now at night when I want to watch something to relax I tend to put on TED talks or something inspirational. I have a bookmarks folder on my computer called “Inspiration” that I open when I don’t know what to watch.
Amazing insights you’ve had about TV and looking for the hero outside of yourself. I’m a big fan of #BeYourOwnHero, and even take part in an event called The Higher Purpose Project where we discuss things like that. Check out the video here: http://vimeo.com/95938201
I still believe in turning your life into the ultimate video game. Turning yourself into the ultimate character!
@ Mike – Thanks for commenting! I recommend trying to move on from browsing online as well! You can easily spend a lot of time doing that just as much as playing games.
@ Daniel – Thanks for commenting! So cool to see that you’re 15. To stop you want to follow the advice in the article. Find other hobbies that will fulfill the areas you identified. How could you have more strategy and teamwork in your life? A sports team or club could be great for this. I’d recommend martial arts or rock-climbing!
I’m pretty sure I’m the only 53 year old Freecell addict reading this post! I definitely don’t fit your demographic of boys and young men. I have never played any of the games you’re talking about. I have, however, wasted many hours becoming a master of Freecell. Before Freecell I was quite a master at Minesweeper. I just uninstalled both from my computer (for the second time).
For me, when my life is busy, successful and swimming along, I have no interest in playing games. Gaming is a symptom of feeling impotent and incompetent in life. If things are not going well for me at work, for example, I get drawn back in to play games to validate my competency, intelligence and feelings of mastery that are missing from other areas of my life.
It’s easier to outsmart a game to build false self esteem than to sort out complex, intimidating issues at work.
One positive thing about games that I have learned is that they do teach you that if you persevere and don’t quit, you can often find a way out of a box and come out a winner, even when you thought you were doomed to lose. I try to keep that positive game lesson with me and use to solve more complex and difficult issues in real life.
Thanks for your post!
@ Caroleann – Thanks for commenting! So cool to receive a message from you! What you’ve learned about games is incredibly powerful! Isn’t it incredible how with a game we will perservere, focus on being creative and never giving up, but in life as soon as it gets tough we want nothing more than to find a way to avoid having to deal with the problem? It would be like a game where we HAVE to go through a certain level but instead we run around aimlessly for hours trying to do it differently.
The first step is awareness, so the fact that you’ve realized this and uninstalled the games is a huge decision in the right direction. I wish you the best! Let me know if I can help in any way.
Hi @CAM
The idea with your special bookmarks folder is a good one.
I too do have a list for special informational videos, videos I can still learn something from, and some music.
There is indeed so much to learn, to listen to. And on some days when I think: “Now you made a big step”, something else comes to my mind.
With the TV there was always something. I never watched any of the channels for years, so basically I had that clunky thing sitting there for video games and movies.
With movies I really got strange feelings. How people behave in movies, the way they talk, and whatever may influence my mind.
So fake.
I guess it is never too late to make several steps to become who I’m intended to be.
And most of all it seems so unbelievable that I started to be just as fake as these movie characters always are.
And as a nice side effect I get rid of lots of old stuff. Sell everything I can and get me some more useful items.
But I never think about turning my life in to my own video game. Lol.
The last movie I watched was Wreck’it Ralph. I do however aknowledge what it feels like to be prisoned in a world that wants you to play after its rules.
No, I would never like to return to video land again.
I vividly remember myself sitting in front of the TV and watching Captain-N the gamemaster – one of the shittiest cartoon shows, now that I think about it.
No, there are things I can not make undone. But I can still make lots of changes now.
One more note on what I think keeps people from quitting to play vidoe games, is the simple fact that there is not much left after they quit.
I realised that. What now? Where to go?
People might find themselves. Peole also could find pieces of their past they don’t like after all. So much to uncover.
I never thought to build other activities to take away the space once thought for video games and movies. Instead I quit and let the empty space inspire me for other things.
I slowly start to remember things, not straight away, but on an emotional level.
Maybe one day I will find myself drawing something again, to reflect what comes at me out there in reality. Haven’t done that for more than ten years.
Yes, I remember a time when Batman did not exist or I have not been thinking about Batmans and the likes. Whatever I drew, no heroes or other related stuff.
I was watching the movie Batman (yes, Tim Burton’s masterpiece) in theater back than, but it never really made an impact. That came later as my life got more virtual. I truely lost myself there.
Actually packing box #3 to be send off. Content this time is lots of music I liked to some extend, but now it reminds me of movies and cartoons, the fake things I don’t want in my life anymore.
I’m going to concentrate on non-movie-music – if that makes sense. Music I already liked before movie world sucked me up, but no pop music.
Even the sound scores to some movies do sound so alien to me now. Can listen to anything classical. But movie scores?
At one point I thought to defend these scores as modern day classical music. But now I can not do this any longer as I know that movie scores do not work alone and invoke the pictures bound to it whenever I were listening to.
Normal classical pieces however are not written around a Superman, a Green Lantern or – yes, I have to – Batmans.
Music can sound all classical or as modern as it gets for these days, but it must not remind me on any movie or video game.
Funny thing – or maybe not – is that most music I ditch now is ‘american like’ – pop, swing, rock’n’roll, even jazz – everything that goes well with movies.
Even in my youth the music I liked most was the kind you wouldn’t find in a movie. Back then I never gave a thought to it and today it makes me wonder no more.
Books are even more interesting now.
I read quite some that got a movie adaption, always with the result that the book has won – especially with Dracula from Bram Stoker. Man what have they done to the characters when bringing them to pictures? Only one book however could not convince me enough to go beyond page 150. Maybe you can guess what book.
And then there are some good books on psychology, interesting theories, facts and other things.
There is so much I could never find out about with TV. New stuff to detect. New reads, information. Political facts the TV will never tell me. And some things there are reason for to be held off from the masses so you have to know that you are doing.
I also read more articles from people that did quit their TV-time too. Interesting.
Interesting that whatever I do, many people are doing too.
Quitting to play video games, getting rid of their TV-sets, stop doing other useless things, getting rid of addictions of any kind.
Awesome.
Greetings
@ Michael – You should be a writer. Haha. You’re brilliant!
Hi Cam,
-Hello from Japan! First of all, I would like to thank you for posting this article online. Your article has moved me. So much to the point where I felt goosebumps, shivers down the spine, and a sudden head rush overcame me every time your shared experiences with video games resonated with my own. There was nothing glossed over, just really straightforward and honest stories from so many people who have (or had) this same or similar problem. You and your readers on this website have opened up and have continued to share battles won and lost against the beast of PC, Xbox, Nintendo, Sony, and Sega consoles/games to name a few, and I respect that. Overall though, I get really good vibes from hearing radical and incredible life changing stories from people who managed to suppress the dopamine-generator of what video games are known to offer; “GETTING RID OF IT” and “QUITTING COLD TURKEY” proves to have worked for many, and I need some support from this group to help push this new way forward into my life for true change to happen! 🙂
-Let me begin to dive into my past and tell you, the reader, a little bit about when the beast crept into my life.
-Blessed with a loving, supportive, encouraging, and harmonious bicultural family with a Japanese mother and American father, there weren’t any dysfunctional or traumatic factors that lead me to “escape” from anything other than my own inability to focus on my academics. Boy did I struggle in school. Pretty sure I should have been diagnosed with ADD, but wasn’t. Your C, C- student… you’re reading about him right now. I couldn’t concentrate on things that I had trouble understanding or didn’t find interesting. Always had a hard time with reading-comprehension and mathematics, so what did I do to subconsciously suppress those frustrations academically? I played games.
-I was born and raised in Tokyo, Japan attending an International School for 12 years. At the age of 7, the Gameboy and Super Nintendo became my two most viewed and used forms of entertainment on any given day. My eyes were glued to the screen from then onwards. At the grandparents’ house, on the train, in the tent on camping trips, in my room late at night when I should’ve been fast asleep. I would talk about it at school, play it at home for hours on end, read guide books (the only “books I read) in the bathroom, and tried to save up my allowance for any games that I was interested in. My parents would take it away from me and then I would sneak into their room to set it up in mine again, late at night. My dope was the N64 controller. When I visited friends, I made sure I knew ahead of time that he had a console so we can purge on it all digiddy day long. On Birthdays and Christmas, I frequently requested video game presents. Walking into a video game store was like entering the pearly gates of heaven and paying a visit to the Chocolate Factory man.
In Japan, it was impossible to escape advertisements, commercials, and talk of the newest ABC, the levelling up of MNO, and the awesomeness of XYZ.
-So what the hell are you bantering on for? Get to the point! Right, I will.
-This beast as I keep referring to (video games for those who are still wondering :-P) swallowed my everything. I was an active kid growing up. Took violin lessons, had the highest average on my varsity baseball team, did track & field, played drums for our rock band, wrestled in high school, taught snowboarding and skiing, you get the picture. Pretty well rounded to say the least. Though I was actively engaged in all of those activities, nothing consumed me more than video games. Finding Heart Pieces in the Legend of Zelda, defeating a couple of HARD difficulty computers in Warcraft II, mastering Super Smash Brothers with Link, levelling up my Skyrim character, getting every costume in Dead or Alive, etc you get the picture. Those video games provided an avenue for “constant measurable growth” as you put it so perfectly, and I couldn’t get enough of it! You guys know what it’s like! I played and played and played. God dammit, I played the shit out of those games. It got so bad that my grades absolutely plummeted when I got into college and it took me 6 and a half years to graduate with a Bachelor’s degree. Do you guys have that similar “spaced-out” and or “brain-numbing” feeling after a couple hours of video gaming? I just get into “out of it” mode when talking to my friends or other people close to me and just feel like an absolute DOPE.
-When I got into University, I saw this as an opportunity for a fresh start. Made new friends, had a more outgoing approach, and went to many social events…and then POOF…that life then turned into a reclusive one, filled with hours upon hours of Burnout 3, Kingdom Hearts II, Metal Gear Solid 3 and a number of other games on the PS2 console. I remembered friends knocking on my dorm room door to see if I was in to hang out or invite me to a party to meet some girls and I would pretend I wasn’t in, since I had my door locked and lights turned off so no light would seep through the bottom of the door. Using CQC to knife soldiers with Snake just sounded so much more awesome than to meet some girls and socialise like normal people did.
-Fastforward to this past year in 2013, I moved back to Japan WITHOUT my Xbox 360 when I got my job as a teacher and had such a huge realisation of how much more social, productive, and spontaneous I am in nature.I met some new people, tried new things, felt more confident, and loved where I lived and loved who I was. I even remember thinking, “damn, I really don’t think I need video games in my life anymore. I ought to just sell ‘em when I go back to the States over summer break!” Then of course, I pulled out my Xbox 360 to “ play just a day or two before I sell it completely”. Played a few games, remembered how much fun Battlefield 3 was, and decided to bring my console and all of my games back to Japan with me. “Ahh, well there are rainy days, trays with nothing to do, and it’ll be fun to play with friends!” Justification after justification, it was a HUGE MISTAKE.
-Long story short, I started to avoid getting contacted on weekends, played hours upon hours, and noticed deep down how unhappy I was. I became moodier, avoided phone calls, and felt really dazed and blank after frying my brain.There seems to be a cycle and I want to break it completely. I go on the games for a few months, feel really shitty, get off of them and feel awesome, having this constant tug-o-war.
-Though I have so many hobbies and things that I’m passionate about, I need my fix of going on a Thieves Guild in Skyrim using my super awesome Nord Female character to kick some Falmer ass. My question is, how does one make that final final, FIRM COMMITMENT decision to quit cold turkey with the video games man? It just sounds too scary! It’s like a heroin addiction or something! Did you guys have serious relapses? The Starcraft story you shared Cam, I’m afraid something like that will happen to me too…If other people are playing, I’d want to play too. I see that if played for very long periods of time, video games affect my life VERY NEGATIVELY. I just feel more irritable, stupid, and anti-social. SO QUIT ALREADY. Easier said than done.
-When you get that crazy URGE to just hit the power button for a few button smashing games of Dead or Alive 5 Ultimate, do you smack yourself in the face to suppress it? I’m just looking for baby steps and coaching to control and resist that urge. What do you guys do? I’m one of those all or none types of people too, so I guess I have to pull the plug and sell it all on e-bay or something before it’s too late. Maybe this was just a rant and I apologise for going on and on about my life and how video games affected me…you guys gave me the courage to just SAY IT ALL. I’ve never typed away at this subject so much ‘till now.
-Any advice would help, and thanks for lending your time to hear me out guys.
I wish each and every one of you continued success and progress towards a more fulfilling, exciting, productive, and passionate lifestyle, free of THE BEAST!
-Peace,
218Andy
@ Andy
“Did you guys have serious relapses? The Starcraft story you shared Cam, I’m afraid something like that will happen to me too…If other people are playing, I’d want to play too.”
I wouldn’t call it serious relapses, but I have come back to gaming after I quit, but that is totally natural.
No matter what addiction, there will most likely be relapses, times when you give in and repeat old habits. But that is not something you should fear, most times I have relapsed, it does not take long before I realise that this habit is not for me anymore.
As you say, If other people are playing you will want to play. My friend who still plays got me so hyped up about Final Fantasy 16 that I bought it and installed it. 2 Hours of playing it and I was like: Meh, same old same old- and havent played since.
When I quit smoking weed, same thing happend, I would go hang out with friends who Ive smoked with in the past and my will failed me and I would smoke a little, this didnt last very long because it was easy to see that this was the only thing we had in common and it was hurting me.
I broke all connection with them and havent smoked for years + I have no desire to.
The key is, to find something else than gaming to do with likeminded people.
I first started running, mountainbiking and exercising on a regular basis, which was something I had never thought I would do, mostly because I was so locked in my belief that “I am a gamer, this is what I do! Im not a sporty person”
But I started running with a childhood friend who have allways been more athletic than me, and slowly I made progress and experienced getting faster and feeling better, I started believing that it is very possible to change to the better.
The high from running and exercising, the feeling of awesomeness when setting new records and overcoming real life challenges, competing with real life people.
Wouldn’t give it up for any videogame.
There will be relapses, but like when you fall, you rise again.
Dear Cam,
I’m 14 years old and I’ve been playing video games all summer long. I have friends who have a social life outside of video games but do not include me. I really want to do something about this since I am just entering high school I feel like I have a chance for a fresh start and to make new friends. I don’t know how to do this though. I have no social skills and don’t know where to start. For this summer I’ve been doing nothing but playing LoL and watching T.V. and working out at L.A. fitness for an hour or so each day. However i do ths every day alone since my friends dont really like me. I’m the one frined in the group nobody likes and I’ve been looking to make new friends in high school. I feel like I can have a fresh start at having a social dynamic. How should I approach this and what kind of friends should I try to get. I’m really lost and I could use some advice. That you to anyone who responds to this. And thank you Cam for writing this article.
My goal in high school is to have a group of friends who i can text when I get home, hang out with on the weekends and afterschool, and have genuniely like me. I want to have a social dynamic, and I am willing to do anything for it.
Hi, thanks for this amazing article. I’ve finally found someone who I can relate to and who understands and I’m gonna try it. But my problem is that I even dropped college to play video games and I feel every time I try to do something different (like going out or reading etc.) that I can’t live without it, like I’m gonna die, like is impossible to quit even when I try my hardest. I really love the career I was trying in college but everytime I was in classes I was thinking of games and when the classes ended I would head back home as soon as possible to play, or I would play in the middle of the class with my phone or anything. Now I play like 16 hours a day and even when my head aches and my eyes hurt I can stop, this makes me feel alone and lost, I even cry when I try to quit. So Cam, do you have any special suggestions for me? I really want to quit but I need help. Thanks.
Hello @Andy Warfield
Yes, it can happen.
Even I had some relapses. But I made it.
No need to be afraid about it as your goals are clear on this subject, right? Right.
Once you made up your mind on seriously quitting gaming, you will make it. It can take a while for you to get used to it. More free time, more space for creativity and maybe a bit of cluelessnes to what to do or how to.
But don’t be afraid. Let it come at you. Let it roll over you if that might happen. Feel it, the pressure and the release from it when you don’t give in any longer.
And there was quite more to it than just being drawn to the virtual worlds. there was another story behind it. And since I figured that one, it became easier to stay away from gaming at all.
Even after months of quitting, I still can’t believe it and there is so much now coming back at me – things I totally forgot about.
Pure magic.
Enjoy it.
@CAM
Maybe one day I can do this. I can write a book about all of this. But actually my mind still seems a little bit twisted, so climbing down the ladders to the hidden chambers of it can be a chore to go through. When I start to feel something I forgot about some time ago, I can feel something being straightened out, being untwisted, so that the light of ‘enlightenment’ can enter the once lost corridor and I stumble less.
One day I might sit down and write the story of my life.
Actually I enjoy some documentaries about space, deep sea life and time theories and stuff.
@ Andy – Thanks for commenting! So cool to receive an email from you in Japan!! If support is what you’ve come for, you’re in the right place! We have your back!
I definitely relate to struggling in school. Did you know I dropped out of high school twice?
You can quit cold turkey and move on. It comes from doing it from a place of empowerment and not regret. And then being disciplined with replacing it with new activities and setting yourself up for success. Schedule your day every day, have activities to do each week, don’t spend a lot of time at home where you’ll be tempted to play. When you feel the energy that you want to play, notice it, breathe, and let it go.
Feel free to email me and we can talk more.
@ Rasmus – Thanks for commenting! I agree with you that you shouldn’t fear the relapse. Sometimes it takes a few of them to realize you really don’t want to play them anymore. I believe in trying to beat your “high score”… so how many days can you go without games, and can you work to a point where you don’t think about it anymore either?
I also agree to find new activities with like minded people. This will make a significant difference. THank you for sharing your feedback for others!
@ Arbi – Thanks for commenting! SO cool that you’re 14 and reaching out like this. I’m so proud of you! Your friends that you say don’t include you… do you ever reach out and invite them to do things instead? It’s easy sometimes to wait for others to invite us to things, when we have the opportunity to invite them too!
High school is a fresh start and I encourage you to take full advantage of it. What kind of friends do you want? Could you join a rock-climbing or martial arts gym? What I encourage you to do is to find an environment/hobby where you can hang out with people who are like minded and want to improve their lives like you are!
Check out the resources on this page: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/lemanmanhattan/
@ Andrea – Thanks for commenting! I’m so happy to hear you can relate to the others here! You are not alone! The suggestions the article has will work well for you. It’s important to remember that it will take some time for your cravings to go away, but the fact that they have such a strong pull on you is a sign to yourself that you shouldn’t continue to play! It’s not going to be super easy but you CAN do it. Find new hobbies to engage with and stay away from your house where you will be tempted to play. Find new friends to hang out with and who will help you get out of the house.
@ Michael – Thanks so much for helping the others out! It really means a lot to me.
man, i wish i had a robot that i could control and could jump
Dear Cam, (Again :3)
In high school I want a group of friends who I can just hang out with. I don’t want anyone who is into drugs or in a gang or too nerdy (Meaning Plays Video Games). I really wanna be able to get a group of friends who I can hang out with in the weekends and be active with. ex) going to the beach in the summer, go hiking with, have a waterballon fight with, go to ralphs or mcdonalds and eat and joke around with together. Please with back if you know how to add those kinds of friends to your social circle and where to look for them. I don’t really know how to be interesting/charismatic and I really only have the summer for that. Is there a link you can send me that will help me out with making new friends from scratch (In H.S.) Thank you for your earlier response.
P.S. (I really want knew friends, I doubt my current ‘friends’ want anything to do with me. Trust me its not the matter of trying to talk to them)
Sincerly,
The White Kid
Thanks for the link, I’m sorry I didn’t see it. I’ll get on this and ill let you know how high school turns out.
Thank you Cam, for an opportunity.
Man, it’s so hard to just quit straight up. Over the years I’ve invested so much time and money into my gaming PC(s) and buying games on Steam and MMO subscriptions etc that it’s nearly impossible for me to tear myself away from it and pull the plug for good. It feels like it’s a massive waste if I just walk away from the hobby that I’ve poured my life into. I know that if I don’t actually get rid of it all then I’ll inevitably come back over and over, but I just can’t work up the nerve to do it. It would be like destroying a part of myself, which I would need to reinvent somehow. No doubt it would be beneficial in the long run but right now it’s such a difficult step to take.
@ Arbi – Thanks for commenting! Your thinking on this is exactly correct. What I’d encourage you to do is to read the resources on this page: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/lemanmanhattan/ – they will help you a lot! Let me know how it goes!
@ Wilko – Thanks for commenting! It can be difficult BUT it comes down to your mindset and how you set yourself up for success. Waste is all just a matter of perspective. In many ways you could also see all of the time you’ve spent not moving towards what you do want to do in your life (not play games) as a bigger waste than the money you’ve spent.
However, what I would encourage you to do is this: Quit because you’re ready to take a new path in life. You’ve tried the video game path and seen where it got you. It’s not that it was bad, it’s just not what you currently still want. So you are ready to move on and apply your strengths in a new way. You don’t need to *regret* the time you’ve spent playing games, you’re just closing a chapter in your life and moving on to a new one.
Remember to follow the advice in the article and set yourself up for success. You CAN do it. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it.
Great article, I am actually pulling the plug myself today. I have been lucky enough to have all the great things such as great (real life) friends, a fiance who is happy and a successful career at age 28. I have always played games for almost every waking moment I could and a “new chapter” as you put it is about to commence.
Just needed some motivation, thanks. 🙂
@ Dave – Thanks for commenting! I’m excited to hear about your journey. Please come back and share an update with us soon.
About a year ago I realized that video games are interrupting my life in a bad way. I owned the Playstation 1, 2 and 3 and around 60 games in total and I used to read blogs, posted random shit on gaming forums and occasionally watched youtube videos about game facts and game rants… I loved those^^
A big part of my identity was based on videgames and my beliefs about the effect of gaming on your life were constantly reinforced by my internet friends, like “game addiction is a myth” or “gaming is harmless”.
However, I searched and found many articles on the subject from another point of view, like this one. It helped me overcome my vanity and gave me an example that showed me how my life could change if I quit. So I took measures.
I tried to limit my gaming time to 1 hour a day but kept breaking the rule. After a few weeks I unplugged my console (I can still feel the pain in my heart 😉 )and put it in the cellar next to the older ones. I managed to “stay clean” for a few months and actually tried to establish a real life worth living. Blame me if you will, but I experienced disappointments that were too big for me to handle.
First I had to realize that my social circle in college was fake; noone invited me to any events and noone reacted to my invitations. Ouch! Most of them just wanted help with their mathematics or English projects and never did a favor in return.
Then I worked as a trainee in order to fill out a report card we needed to show our professors. I did alright but started hating the job I was aiming to take after studying. I ended my study and I am now looking for another subject to study.
I just left my computer in order to go to the bathroom. My memories are so bad I had the urge to take a shit after writing them down. Where was I?
Ah, yes. I started playing again, hardcore. I played until I felt physically sick. Of course I was not happy about the relapse. I asked myself why I even paid money for my self numbing. Then I realized what kept me around games magnetically.
It was not only the joy of gaming but also collecting. I paid a fortune for my collection and was proud of it. I had fantasies of showing other people my pick ups so that they acknowledge my sophisticated taste (in reality noone cared!). All my knowledge from magazines and forums could be told. I loved touching the DVD cases and admiring the artwork. I was shocked when I went on ebay to check out the actual prizes for used games.
Since retro gaming is popular now and you have to pay around 4€ to 10€ to purchase a digital copy of, let’s say, the first Tomb Raider for Playstation, I thought you get a lot of money for the original disc. I was wrong… It is worth a couple of cents. No normal person wants this old shit!
I surrounded myself with trash. I put my once loved collection on ebay. After I get rid of everything I will never buy another game system or another game again. Whenever somone offers me to join in on a multiplayer game I will deny the offer without consideraton. I am 21 yo, started playing gameboy when 5yo. So I give up a gaming carreer of 16 years, 16 years!
I got two months before I go to college. I am not sure if I have what it takes to live a life that does not suck so bad. My goal for now is to avoid gaming at all for a whole year at least. I want to see the difference
greetings
Mitsu
@ Mitsu – Thanks for commenting and sharing your story with me! You can definitely do it! Remember that joy needs to come from within and not from external means. Recognize yourself for the great work you’re doing and don’t focus on seeking that approval from others. Do it for YOU.
You can do great in college, it’s an opportunity for a fresh start! Remember to structure your day and fill it with other activities that inspire you. Meet nad connect with a new social circle, people who share common interests (outside of games) and ones that care about you and make you feel like you MATTER. It can take time but you can do it. Ask for help when you need it. I’m happy to contribute to your journey in any way I can!
Hello cam,
I am 19-20 years old. I have been playing Dota since 2008-009, I am really good at it.
All the friends of mine would discuss game with me.
The problem is that I am a Stuttrer. I have problem while talking.
Playing games would make this problem even worse.
I mean, I was away from home for 2-3 months, had no access to computer or Ps or anything, whenever i talked to someone, it looked like i have never been a stutrer. I was quite fine.
But as soon as i got access to these games, once again i am getting worse day by day.
I really need to stop this.
My youtube channel is all subscribed to gaming channels, as i have made some in-game purchases, i dont know how to stop playing.
Note: I am living in a city where I dont know thier language, I mean Like American-Chinese.
I have really nothing to do.
I can have interview for my certain case anytime, but i really need to stop playing video games so that i wouldnt stuttr.
Please,
What would you do if,
You were in a place where you had nothing to do expect than eating, sleeping, sometimes bringing stuff from shop.
I will be waiting for your reply.
@ Saeed – Thanks for commenting! Have you seen this video? It’s a really interesting one when it comes to Stuttering. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eOJaprDCDA
Hope you’re having a great day!
@ Mitsu
Wow, I feel for you.
This urge to collect and to be proud of ‘something’.
To pay loads of money on items you on the other hand could never sell for the price you were willing to pay at first.
Especially with video games.
I payed some nice prices for games like Metroid (NES – complete game pack) and then some.
I know how it feels to let go all the wasted money. Heck, it is wasted. Right?
All that money for a little piece of programmed information that has no real purpose otherwise, that does not evolve (however the collectors prices do), and it is all the same even after all these wasted years.
Even later games are just like that. Only improved graphics. Wow, still looks underwhelming when compared to mother nature.
And still you can not impress anyone.
Yesterday you could not impress one because playing video games was something for nerds. Today you can’t impress anyone because everyone seems to play video games.
I appreciate your move away from it. Live will change. Your point of view will change.
And as your life and several aspects will change and connect to real and vital things, you will definitly realise it.
Just today I (once again) had a thought, just because I have quit playing games. So sometimes after a while different things will cross my mind and I start to explore these things.
Rules. Yes. It was about rules.
Everyone knows (everyone who has been playing video games) that these games do have set rules.
And did you ever wonder how easily we are accepting these rules, to follow the games structure and story?
Looking at it now, it seems so easy to make us satisfied and yet we are so easy trained to follow even the silliest rules that do not need to make sense.
Push that button to do this. Push these, activate those whatevers. It doesn’t even do a tiny thing to our normal lives. Once you put your device away you may realise that you have been doing nothing after all.
Go just this way to hit person X, trigger that action to become an ultimate Sith Lord.
To me it seems we start to get used to simple instructions and rules and we demand them in real life or just follow there as easy as we do in video games. We are so used to do this.
We are so modern to mock religious people (even the pieceful folks) because they follow rules. Yet we are sitting in front of our screens and do follow rules that do miss any connection to our ‘real’ lives, society and all these little things around us video games can not simply emulate correct.
Besides, playing video games even today, doesn’t make a person social. It makes it all more weird to me. All that online crazyness, pseudo social activity.
But once you turn off the gamers mode for good, you start to change. Your point of view changes.
See easy rules? Now you are questioning them.
See people give easy demands? You think further.
I only started to make my thoughts on this one.
There is this other ‘world’ I started to think about also. The world of music.
Just like with video games and movies, I started to think beyond music. What is the ‘zeitgeist’ that makes us believe we can not live without (anymore?).
For me nostalgia seems to be a valid point. But then nostalgia was a valid point to keep myself on playing video games.
I try to figure when music became a motivating factor in doing things, instead of these things themselves.
Wasn’t it once upon a time that I have been listening music only because it has been played out off a radio or because someone had his stereo going? It was just there.
When I ride my bike to go to work, do I need music to motivate me?
When I walk home from work (when I have not had my bike with me obviously 😉 ) and just look up into the sky or have my eyes on all the details, insects flying here and there, all these butterflies circling around me, what music goes along with that?
I can’t tell.
Really. I do not have an answer what music could accomplish the nice blue sky with its clouds, the warmth of the sun, the sound of the nature – the soft wind, birds chirping.
Not even classical music could describe all of this as I experience it, it is to darn loud or too noisy to represent an aspect of nature anyway.
I find it funny how I don’t feel powerless after walking home after work in the sun and I have not had a slice of music to hum along, not even thinking about one. Even in the dark, nature leaves an inspiring impression music can never touch.
Music so never describes nature. It describes only actual lifestyle trends or human needs and urges, hectical stuff butthurt stuff and other stuff. Yet there is relaxing music to encounter this and it is so boring.
Yes.
This is my next thing to try out.
No music.
I did this once and it was not too bad at all.
It just happened as I got so fed up by music. I couldn’t stand it.
Only this time I will definitly have my attention on all those moments I were listening to music and question it – why?
One of the reasons for me to do this is because I recognised how useless it is to be a music nerd as in real life people are talking about music very sporadic and random, if it ever happens. But to real life situations music seems to be as vital as are video games. Yet music is so dependend on ones personal taste and, indeed, lifestyle.
I do believe that it is just something in our heads as we are basically growing up surrounded by music, but in a way it makes no sense (other than to keep us hypnotised?).
Have you ever been wondering how people live an awesome life when music is not as nearly as important to them as it seems to be to us?
Or people that can not listen to music and still living a good life?
No, it is not about ignoring it entirely.
Just an experiment (for now).
@ Michael – You’re the man! 🙂
Short summary of my experience so far.
It is very very interesting.
I think everyone should try this.
No video games, no movies, no TV, no music.
It results in being less driven. Sounds negative at first, but is very positive in the end.
I have to work late this week. Normally I do not sleep well when I’m supposed to work from 2.00 p.m. till 10.30 p.m. – it always fucked my rhythm.
Yet it seems I haven’t had any rhythm to follow suit.
Guess I found it now. It lies in the absense of hectical stuff.
Even not listening to music before going to bed helps to calm down very easy.
And while being less driven in the first place, I’m very focused on anything I’m about to go onto.
At home I found a piece of inner peace I never thought to find that fast.
At work doing my job I seem more balanced too.
Just yesterday I felt the urge to listen to some of my ‘favorite stuff’. It resulted in making a funny face I guess.
It appeared to be so hectical, yet I have been listening to it for so many years without giving it a second thought.
Hectical stuff to make us driven. Now I think further. Driven to do what?
When I’m not going to my job to earn me the needed money to live my life I feel like I do not need to do anything else but sitting under the sky and feel good about it.
Is that what Bhudda felt when he was sitting under that tree under which he got his ideas?
I definitly feel less hectical and I really know what I must do. And I do these things when the time is right.
I feels like dropping out a little bit and looking at everything from a distance from the outside of the shell of our hectical and driven daily lives.
Music. Now I do not wonder why scientific stats tell us how ‘important’ music is and why we need to listen to it.
It makes us going, maybe even going crazy and we do not realise this.
But at least I reached a point at that I can understand older people when they are confronted with modern day music.
To them it must seem like what it seems to me actually.
They are coming down, enjoying the rest of their lifes and we blast our super pompous and speedy or emotional overloaded stuff at them and everything.
And no, I will not go to listen to some jazz or classical stuff instead. Even that seems to make me bound to a time I never have been living in neither I would ever live up to.
Music seems a little decadent to me now, so dependent to a certain aspect, time frame. But aren’t we meant to live timeless lives?
Maybe it goes to far in saying that we are almost all addicted to music because almost everyone listens to some music here and there, some more often than others.
But at the same time I still recognise that in these days more and more people are playing video games regularly (especially teens with their cellphones) and more and more studies tell us how good and vital it is to play video games.
Does that ring a bell?
Contrary to my experience I’m further aware of all the studies so far are related to a society that is not used to not have some amount of music been played in a daily routine.
I have read how people think that not having music would be a mistake (Friedrich Nietzsche often gets reconsidered on this) and how society would become more violent if not been blasted with musis constantly (or for a good amout of time).
But have we ever tried?
No. Why?
Because it would calm us down, make us less driven and thus would make us less spontanous on new ideas instead of thinking them over more vividly.
This is, at least to what I think, a vital aspect why corporates keep us dreaming and keep on writing regular studies on the healthy aspect of music.
But have you ever taken some time and participated in one of these funny tests that either indicate your personality on your music taste or define your music taste based on your choice of answers?
Try it.
This is when I got my first hint of eventually stop to listen to music.
Though these tests are ment to be fun for now, I see some things attached to it.
Like video games music creates a bubble around us.
When we were/are young music created/creates an atmosphere aroung us that builds our private kingdom. A place that makes us feel comfortable at any time we need to have it.
But does it make us less violent?
Don’t think so.
While it can make us bonding easier with some people, it makes us more suspicious against others. Listen to Muezins singing when calling to the morning prayers. Very demanding music there. I would not like it one bit.
We even tend to define many things based on the music we listen to (this is why I find these music tests not just amusing – there is really something up to it).
And how we make our friends based on our personal likes is evident.
So it goes with music too.
Once we put down this aspect, it seems much more easier to make contact with other people as some of our personal tastes are no longer standing in our way building this barrier between us.
As I said before, my life seems more quiet and calm now.
Going to bed and sleep is so easy. I just go to bed, read some pages and then I just sleep, just like that.
Even reading a book is more fun now. Or just sitting in the calm and sipping on a can of soda. Tastes so much better now.
And as I have been talking about my addiction behind my video game addiction, it is even more easy to think about this without feeling the slightest attempt to fall back one inch.
I’m even preparing to do the impossible again (impossible to me for some years now) – to train myself to play chess once again. Yes. This weekend I will start over one more time, and I feel kinda excited now.
It seems to fit so perfect in a non-music environment. Pure atmosphere.
I understand now why studying or doing your home work is better when not having music.
Now I really want to play chess.
And at this point, even though I don’t have to, I want to thank you again CAM for bringing up this whole site here, to give us some real aspects why it is not easy to stop playing video games, what are the reasons why we play. Your calm kind to go at this is still inspiring, have been watching the TED-talk again.
I understand so much more now. And I feel there is more I will experience in the near future.
I’m very excited to find out what else is there to be uncovered and put aside to make life even more comfortable.
Greetings from Germany
@ Michael – Thanks for commenting! I love the summary you’ve shared. It’s cool to hear you’ve been able to notice how you’re able to focus easier. That’s a key detail!
Ultimately one of the things you’ve been able to learn by moving on from gaming is a larger awareness around whether something in your life is serving you or not. This is an approach you can take to any part of your life – music, gaming, tv, friends, relationships, etc.
It’s an honor to be able to contribute to you learning more about this and I’m so happy and grateful that you’ve found value in the article and video. I hope to continue to help others find the peace you have found.
Hope you’re having a great day!
Hi there
I just checked my e-mail account and made it here right now.
Indeed my day was very good.
Even my walk home. It is a little bit rainy, not cold, but it felt good.
It really feels good. No hectic, not even at my job.
I’m about to exercise a little bit and than to hit the pillow.
Friday is waiting and the weekend is neigh and so is my new (old) chess lesson.
Recently reading the Valis Trilogy by Philip K. Dick – awesome book.
Strange that when I stopped playing video games I thought that would it be.
But to detect yet another stress factor behind the scene was a big surprise to me.
Funny that when I will get rid of the other devices, I will have more space for the vital things to put them on the shelves now.
And when I thought that people started reacting different since I stopped watching movies, what happened since I started my no-music thing?
Could it be that I found my very own space now to further develope my very own self?
True that living in the reality sharpens your awareness. But does it also change the perception of the people surrounding you as you change from the inside.
I also had this thought today, this morning. I started to think into the future, planning my vacation for next year and developing some ideas. To go out into a more calm region, country side, sleeping in a hotel, doing some walks during the days, hitting some pubs to refresh myself, seeing more of good piece of nature and learning something more about the culture in my own country, something I might have forgotten long since I was somewhere else. And it is really a long time since I have been somewhere else where life is not so busy and still great.
I feel like I’m growing up some more, yet the inner child comes to life again too.
Very interesting, all of this.
Greetings from Germany
@ Michael – That’s amazing to hear. Keep me updated on your progress!
Hi guys!
My games are about to be sold^^ I haven’t played any game since the last comment I made here and I am determined to never ever play again!
It would have been more climatic if I smashed everything but I can buy one or two vacations with the money can make. Well, I allowed myself to throw a gameboy out of the window 😉
@ Cam – Thank you so much for your kind words. I have to agree that I care too much about what others might think. For some reason I keep trying to impress people. This has often led to awesome performance in sports but I would be much better if I just focused on having fun. A young man’s levity.
Right now I’m waiting for college. I’ve got more time on my hands than ideas on what to do. My parents demand I should finally get a proper girlfriend and frustratingly they mock me for being single (maybe those homophobes fear I’m gay or something like that). I want myself to have a girlfriend too but I’m clumsy at meeting girls. I’m clumsy at getting to know people in general. Let’s see if I can fix this
@ Michael – I like your point on rules in gaming. There is always a goal in a (classic) game and most of the time a pretty lame one like a conclusion to a story or an ending sequence. The game designers’ challenge is to distract you from the goal itself. They want you to focus on your way to the goal and build traps, obstacles, challenges and quick motivators for in between.
“Unwritten rules” appear as well. Take Super Mario: the unwritten rules are: collect coins, powerups and find secrets. Rewarding “bling” sounds ensure you’ll follow like a dog being trained. No doubt, when most people think of Mario they think of coins, jumps and powerups, not the poorly done ending with a dinosaur-turtle and a girl.
You will feel some kind of void if you play and ignore the unwritten rules (or cheat around the set rules) because you won’t be challenged and rewarded in between. You will go to the ending in no time and realize it sucks. Following the rules will provide you with the addicting stimuli. You will play again or go to the next game although you know you’re foolish.
I’m interested in your progress although it seems to me you’re seeking enlightenment rather than a better social life 😉 if you find it necessary to quit listening to music than do it! Forget everything you learned about the media you got addicted to and do not look for news on it. Just let go
Greetings from Germany as well^^
Mitsu
@ Mitsu – Thanks for sharing! It’s very exciting that your games are about to be sold. Thank you for the update. Please come back and let us know how everything is going soon!
Hey Cam!
I need help.I am a 12 year old boy whos been so board this summer that ive been playing NHL 14 for about 12 hours a day.All my good friends are gone on vacation,and my soccers ended.
But heres the thing,I used to be a all-star soccer player 2 years ago,but that all changed when my dad cheated on my mom.I didnt care about anything or anyone during that stage.I failed classes that year,got sent down to the principals office once,and got kicked of my soccer team.
And during all this,i would get home and play my games for 8 hours a day on weekdays,and 12 hours a day on weekends.
I hated my life,and the only thing that felt good was video games,they were my only outlet after getting kicked of the soccer team.
Since then ive straightened up my act,and have had b+ marks and have patched things up with my parents.Ive fixed almost everything in my life that video games nearly ruined my life.Except for getting rid of video games.I will find myself sneaking to my video game system at 1 o clock in the morning just to play some nhl.I need advice.
How do i get over this last little bump?Thanks,Mitchell
@ Mitch – Thanks for commenting! The solution is to develop other hobbies that you can go to when you’re bored and/or that allow you to get that escape you’re seeking out when you tend to go play games.
Try to find activities that are social, so you are able to meet new friends as well and don’t have to depend so much on the ones you have that are currently on vacation.
I’m proud of you for taking the positive steps forward that you have. It’s a big accomplishment, so just continue pushing forward! You’ve got this.
Come back and give us an update soon.
@Mitsu
You nailed it pretty well with your statement on the sounds of coins in Super Mario.
This is indeed a way to train us to follow simple tasks, even though in the end it doesn’t matter.
Sonic the Hedgehog and these Chaos emeralds? All the same. Even worse in Sonic 3 once you locked it onto Sonic & Knuckles. At first you get all emeralds (in sonic 3) and as the levles from Sonic and Knuckles are attached now and the game gets larger you had to collect now more emeralds to transform from Super Sonic into Hyper Sonic and have more troubles to keep in control when the ring counter passes the 50 and to finally trigger the real final boss fight.
Yet this wasn’t the worst reason to quit playing games.
And you are right again. I’m searching for enlightenment as well. But I think I will not get any by struggling too hard. There are things I have to let happen when the time is right.
My social life isn’t too bad actually. 🙂
But I can always learn something new.
@CAM
To be honest, my now awakening inner child wants to listen to music. Music I haven’t been thinking about for many years.
No, not so far back in time. No children rhymes or lullabies.
But stuff I recently started to remember from the late 80s.
This is really a hard nut for me to chew and it leaves my puzzled on some days.
Maybe I put a task on myself with that I might find my limits to deal with now.
I guess the hardest part will be to get two people at one time to play chess against.
I got one of these “chess for three”-sets.
Awesome.
When I first saw one of them it seemed like a hoax. Chess played by three people?
But actually there are three sizes to chose from. Got the biggest.
And there are some interesting new rules to learn for it as the center of the board is what can seal the deal for one player.
And I got me some puzzles (one got 3000 pieces).
Time is like flying away, maybe even a bit too fast for me – or I have slowed down a little bit.
@ Michael – Two on one chess? If I were you I wouldn’t choose the Klitschko brothers as opponents. At least not for chess-boxing matches 😀
I want to pick up a new hobby too. I’m thinking about gong to gym and lift weights.
Mini update:
I have strong cravings for gaming and sometimes I have to think about unfinished games. A few days ago I took my sister to the electronics store to help her choose and buy a computer. While the costumer service boy was cleaning the computer she bought I went upstairs to the software department to pick up an antivirus program for her. I had to walk past the gaming department with all the merchandize, special offers and consoles on display for trying out games. It was a seducing sight and I paused for a moment. I felt like a little kid in one of those big and colorful candy shops. For a second I thought about holding the controllers on the displayed consoles but I looked away and rushed to the software department. I promised not to play a game for a year. Not even for a minute and not even some online mini game. Nothing at all.
Greetings
Mitsu
@Mitsu
Not exactly two on one. Each player can play on his own or decide to team up with another player.
But only one player can win it all.
There are different ways this can be settled:
– by setting one person check mate, that one loses + the other person that did not help in doing so also loses
– when one player is out, the other two are continuing + the opportunity to the player who checked out the other one to use his left pieces.
I see some more ideas how to handle it.
Having the Klitschko Brothers to play against I would be more in danger of looking not very clever as both are not only physical in good shape.
It would be a disaster anyway.
I have chosen chess to be a main attraction because it really makes me think and reason why certain moves are good, some are better and some are plain stupid. And I can take all the time I need.
I go through the lessons of a book I bought four years ago (when I had my first attempt to play chess) and the lessons are useful.
Had some moments I thought I was smarter than the guys that wrote the book.
Way to think again.
And it consumes time in a positive way.
It will take me a while to finish all lessons before I face the next book.
Sometimes it can be hard to not think about video games.
Even I do still think about certain moments when I see kids and teens with their cellphones sitting next to me in the bus or train playing video games like it is the most standard thing to do, it’s weird.
I recall many moments when people called me a nerd for loving to play video games all day long. Today everyone seems to be a nerd, no matter what you do.
But the more you go for your other tasks to fulfill, the less space there will be left to consider playing video games an option.
But have some options to go around that. By riding my bike or walking by foot, that is when the weather doesn’t force me to go by train.
So what can you do?
Meet some old friends or relatives and challange them on some board games.
Actually there are tons to go in all sizes shapes and ideas.
Start with classics like Malefiz, Chinese Checkers, Halma.
There are countless more I found out recently they exist.
Even lots of puzzles that will keep you busy for quite some time on your own.
I think going for board games or puzzles for one player is an easy start to get distracted and having fun without thinking to far away or too abstract.
Go for some nice motives and I recommend to start with 1000 pieces puzzles. Or these weird looking objects where you have to dismantle it only to get it back into it’s original shape.
But the most important thing there is, whatever you consider to do to ‘not play video games’, it must bring fun.
I hope I could help a little bit.
@Mitch
It is very important to find some people to talk to.
At the age of 12, nobody should be dwelling in that kind of ‘inner darkness’. I know this too well.
And like CAM said, find something you can build up your interest with.
Maybe some puzzles. Real puzzles where you look at the task, build the puzzle like it says and then solve it.
Yet at your age you should have at least one or two friends and make them getting interested in some nice board games or puzzles too.
However, be aware of fake friends that only need you to accompany them so they do not feel too bad when they do something wrong or try to make it look like you have been doing it all alone.
Is there a topic you want to know more? Go for some books to read, for entertainment, to broaden your horizon.
with best regards
Michael from Germany
Hi CAM!
I just want to say thanks for your awesome article :D, it really help me a lot
i read your article 4 month ago, n i succeed to solve my gaming addiction, FINALLY!
It wasn’t easy before because i don’t really understand why am i soo addicted to video game. U article really made a very good point about gaming..U hit almost every aspect of my gaming addiction problem 🙂
I always thought the reason why i play video game is because it is “FUN” but that is not the case…
Talk about dota2 n League of legion (my favorite video game) , the community is terrible (the nasty language, unsupportive n all the terrible thing they said about ur mom) but for some reason i keep on playing, again n again. It’s not about fun! It’s about the challenge and you could see the improvement u made every time you finish the game.
N now, without video game, i got soo much free time to read some novel, learn how to bake and cook .
Those things are actually much more fun than gaming especially baking !
Quit gaming, totally worth it !
THANKS A TON CAM!
@ Michael – Your help on this thread is magical! I really appreciate all of your input a lot.
@ Mitsu – Thanks for sharing an update! The cravings will come and go over time. It’s similar to a break-up with a girl. At first you think of her all the time but over time you begin to think about her less. It’s ok. Don’t react to the cravings, just notice them and move on.
@ Kirene – Thanks for commenting! I’m so happy to hear you were able to solve your gaming addiction! I’m VERY proud of you!! Hope you’re having a fantastic day!
Hi !
I counting the third month from quitting video games. In this months a lot of thoughts came in my mind. I discovered that by playing video games I covered my weaknesses. One of these is my laziness to do something for self improvement or even search for other things that I would like to do. Other weakness is my communication abilities.
There was times when I felt strong temptations to play again but well I didn’t except for few times when I explained how to play and translated some text for the friend . Well I see a lot work to do with my personality.
All the best !
your blog post pretty much sums up my past! Been playing for as long as I can remember, its time for a change. Got a brilliant graduate job coming up in October and a high desire to improve my social skills. Let the games begin.
Much thanks for your blog entry!
@ Tobias – Thanks for commenting! That’s so awesome to hear you are 3 months game free!!! Come back and give us another update soon!
@ Alseca – Thanks for commenting! Let me know if there’s anything we can do to help!
Hi cam,it’s 1am here and i got school to attend tomorrow but here i am making this post.i’m 15 years old.trying to quit gaming since last year.yet it is fruitless.i’ve put in 5 to 8 hours a day playing games.everyday it makes me realize how pathetic i am to live like this.To be honest i’m fairly good in social life although i don’t mix well with girls.i have a very strong body although i just don’t know what to do with it.i like baseball but here in malaysia no one hardly plays it.basketball seems the most joyful choice so far.maybe i’ll try that.but problem is i don’t really go out of my house that often.i’m also not that close with my family.i broke up with my girlfriend almost 3 months ago.and now i’m just trying to boost my self esteem.what would be a good first step to stop?i’m Always telling myself i’ll stop next week.yet i won’t.it continues and its kinda making me hate myself.your post gave an impact on my mind that i need to change,if every here can why can’t i?so please do give me suggestion on how to start living a better life. Btw,sorry that its a chunky paragraph full of words.i’m usIng my ipad to write this.hope for a response soon.until then have a nice day.
@ Areen – Thanks for commenting! One way to boost your self-esteem is to focus on developing pride in yourself. If you are playing games when you don’t want to, it hurts your self-esteem instead of helping it. So focus on doing things that make you feel proud of yourself. Also, it’s a lot easier not to play if you aren’t in your house all the time, so I recommend getting out of the house and going to different activities (basketball could be one!) Keep me updated on your progress! 🙂
I’ll try to work on that i suppose.My finals are coming and i might start to get something done after that.Hopefully all goes well.
@ Areen – Thanks for commenting! Good luck on your finals! 🙂
I am 14 years old and for a while now I have been Google searching how to stop my addiction to gaming. One of the foremost reasons I continue to spend the majority of my day gaming is because I don’t hate myself for gaming while I am doing it. I believe this article will help a lot, though, and I really appreciate what you did here Cam.
Some of my hobbies/dreams are becoming a programmer and animator, which both have to do with the computer. I can’t tell if that’s just another lame excuse to continue being a potato. Your opinion(s)?
@ Finlay
I would guess it is an excuse for avoiding things you have no experience with, like when asked what you would like to do you don’t think “I would like to do X” but instead “Im good at computers so that is safe and I will avoid resistance”.. Did it myself, so nothing but my viewpoint.
@ Finlay – Thanks for commenting! So cool that you are 14 years old and have the courage to reach out and ask for help! Programming and being an animator are ok hobbies to have, and I wouldn’t advise against them.
What I would caution you for though is to definitely focus on developing a hobby or two that are different than those, especially ones with physical activity, because one of the easiest ways to overcome your desire to play video games is to not be on a computer which is tempting… AND… physical activity is very important in order to get your blood pumping and to shift your mood.
@ Rasmus – Thanks for taking the time to add your feedback for Finlay. I really appreciate it!
@ Cam
No problem, its just, im soon turning 28 and some days I think to myself “wow, if I had known then what I know now, alot of bad things in my life could have been avoided”
When I was 14, I was already addicted to playing computer, not really doing any physical activities, I was very skinny and weak all through my teenage years and it really really drained me for confidence, which probaly caused me to keep playing games. Cause where else could I feel good about myself ?
I spent the majority of my life as a skinny weak kid, believing that playing games was the only thing I would be good at, as Im not into sports and not really the most outgoing person.
I got myself a job sitting at a computer ~8 hours a day, and then went home to play starcraft for the most of the day. My wrists, hands and forearms gave up, couldnt use a computer without pain from RSI,
So now what ? I couldnt do nothing and my doctor said I had to keep away from typing and using computers, and maybe start training my forearms.
Well, I kinda went a little crazy on the training part, never been healthier, lifting weights 3 times a week and running 1-3 times a week. Now im focusin on bettering my posture, as years and years of sitting slouched playing games have had negative effects on my back, shoulders and neck. Also now im noticing how bad alot of the programmers and it-geeks from my workplace looks after 5-10+ years of using computers 8+ hours a day- eek.
Lol sorry for the wall of text, but to boil it all down.
Start doing some sort of exercise. Keep your body fit and if you actually want to be a programmer or animator, you do that. But if you limit your dreams/hobbies to things involving a computer you will miss out on so much.
Bla Bla Bla, good night 🙂
@ Rasmus – Thanks for commenting! I totally agree with you about being able to fix these problems earlier if possible – although regardless of when you realize you need to change, it doesn’t matter what age you are, just that you start focusing on it then.
I definitely agree about exercise. It’s important for us to get our bodies moving and to increase our flexibility. Hope you’re having a fantastic weekend!
@ Cam – No problem, I have had the link to this site since I came across it, and keeps reading comments.
And yeah, you cant use regret for much. However one must try to learn from the past, and use it to help other, just like you do with this original post.
I choose my job because it felt like it was the path of least resistance, and halfassed myself through the studies but ended up with top grades on the finals.
But to be honest, having an easy job is boring as fxck and now im dreaming of quitting and turning to a complete different field, its scary, because instead of the comforting thought that “oh it will be easy, Im good at computers and math” theres this feeling of “This is going to be really hard! I have to move to an unknown city and actually take the leap of faith!”
Derailed myself there, sorry, but what I can see from my friends who still play too much games, the constant flow of easy rewards in games skew their perception of real life because real life is hard and you actually have to put in more work than pushing buttons and you will fail and fail and fail before you get something right.
People often go “oh I wish I could do that” when they see people with some sort of skills, but it is hard and requires actual work, so they give up before they have even tried.
I find that very sad, as I find that a trend in our generation, that everything should be as easy and comfortable as possible.
A cheesy but fitting quote is “nothing worth having comes easy”
Hehe and sorry for the wall of text again, hope theres something of use for someone.
And good weekend to you aswell Cam.
@ Rasmus – Heya! Ya regret is just a waste of energy. It is what it is. Move forward regardless. Life isn’t about what’s easy, like is about the adventure you want to go on. What do you want your life to look like? What inspires you? DON’T SETTLE. Never wish for it more than you work for it. That’s the truth. Anything you want in life is possible if you commit to learning how to make it happen.
Hey guys, just wanted to say, I’ve noticed that since I started my job, it has become apparent, how much time i was spending on gaming, I don’t think personally I want to quit but It has made my think what are my priorities, I’m moving into a new place soon, I will need to be a lot more independent than I am now, Also @Rasmus, sometimes we have to go through these periods of boring jobs or easy times to find out where we want to go, for me it wasn’t an easy period that got me back into work, but it was to outsiders, I’m now able to plan ahead, the job i’m doing isn’t boring all the time, but I can sympathise, as I sometimes am stuck on the same task for days, clearing errors or deleting the same text from numerous items.
Great article!
I always played games but last year it wen’t bad. I just began gymnasium (kinda like high school in USA) and was desperate to find new friends, one in my class said “Oh, I bought CS yesterday”, I already had this game but hadn’t played it much. We ended up playing a couple of games together and ended up good friends. But a price that I became addicted to CS, I played ALL of my free time always wanting to improve. It hurt my studies and I ended up with bad self esteem and just wanted to improve even more because it felt like it was the only thing I’m good at. I now sank over 1000 hours into it over a year and decided that it’s enough. It’s not that I don’t have anything else to do, I’ve been programming since I was twelve and read books occasionally. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish my studies with good grades this session. Worst case I’ll convince myself playing games isn’t bad for you at all.
TLDR; started playing games to get friends, got a lot of friends, got addicted to CS.
@ Pixc – Great to hear from you again! I’m really happy to hear that it’s making you think more about your gaming and how it’s impacting your life (whether that’s a positive or negative). Hope you are well!
@ Bjorn – Thanks for commenting! Remember that you can get good grades by putting in the effort and focusing on your discipline. Set yourself up for success by scheduling your time. Get out of the house and go to the library or a coffee shop to study instead of being at home where you have the temptation of games. 🙂
Hello!
This was really motivational article!
Yesterday I stopped playing computer games and I’m currently at Day 1 of it.
Now I feel this unpleasant void and confusion because of it since I quitted.
What do you think of YouTube gamers? I mean you can clearly see that gaming isn’t affecting their life so much and they seem to be happy although it may be only on YouTube.
Also while thinking about hobbies I thought about Minecraft plugin development which requires programming skills and Minecraft building which is in some way form of art in my opinion but then again I don’t want to give in.
@ Matiss – Thanks for commenting! I’m really happy you found the article valuable. For me it’s not about whether someone is happy playing games, just about whether games are having a positive or negative impact on YOUR life. It’s important not to compare to others and instead focus on how it’s affecting you. Some are able to play and be fine, as some are able to drink and be fine. It’s all relative. Minecraft plugin development could be cool. Maybe try a few other hobbies that are not gaming related first, and go from there.
Thanks for reply! It seems that finding hobbies can be hard at first because nothing seems to interest you also lack of motivation while computer games still reside in you. Now it seems like it’s starting to fade.
I think I’m going to play piano at first. Then maybe will do something else perhaps sports related.
I also read that its necessary to take small steps towards change since we humans have this finite resource called willpower and if you put too much pressure on it you will break and return to old habits eventually.
@ Matiss – Heya! Yes, you are right about hobbies being difficult at first. This is an example of the pull that video games have on you. What I recommend is to not judge hobbies too much because they have a different type of stimulation. Try to have more physical activity (rock climbing, martial arts) where you are out of the house and able to move around. The endorphins you get from exercising will help shift your mood as well.
Piano is a great hobby to start with. Try setting up a project, like a specific song you want to learn or a performance you could do on YouTube or for friends/family. This will help with your motivation. (Motivation comes from a sense of purpose, so remember why you are learning piano!)
Remember, the temptations will fade over time (a long time) so when they come up just notice them and keep moving forward.
i like how this guy explains everything
@ Stefan – Thank you!
Hey CAM, it’s me again! My attempts at quitting games are still on. Good news is, Ive reduced the gaming time by like 90% and aced my med school exams. Still, I can feel my addiction lurking in my head somewhere. Especially after the exams, Ive played a lot with my friends. I also watch a lot of twitch.tv – I banned the website but ended up unbanning it… I fear it might catch me again, so Im trying to stop playing completely but end up coming back from time to time – it works a bit like a yo-yo. I guess Im a person of weak will! Any hints on how to stay clean? Today Ive uninstalled the games again… I wonder for how long. I started to keep some sort of diary and Im writing down why did I want to play this certain day. If I ever manage to quit completely maybe I’ll publish it in here one day?
cheers
Paul
So sorry for this fucking rambled mixed salad of a post Cam.. I am writing this while in the library after much deliberation and disgust in myself..
====
Hi again Cam, i’ve posted on this article two years ago, giving account of my story..
I came back to this article today because of my recent ‘problems’, i finished my b.a and began my m.a and currently am supposed to be at my final year and i’ll admit i put almost no effort into my M.A, its nothing like what i expected and my parents kept pressuring me not to drop out (i payed all my tuition fees on my own, so its my money not theirs – they gave me no financial support for my m.a i was able to do it on my own) when i have/still dont have any interest in it.. I thought i’ll be going into M.A and begin my research and take seminars/courses around my field of interest..
Yet there i was, taking random courses that have nothing to do with my field of research, i dropped out from my theisis because i lost all motivation for it.. I tried to put the blame on my guiding professor – “he didnt help me enough” “they put more effort into foreign students” but its all my fault, i fell back in my studies and stopped caring.
The first semester was fantastic – i wasn’t gaming and i was so focused on my field of research, sitting in the library and studying daily and improving and learning more and more.. All until Feb 29th 2013 – that’s when Jagex decided to release an old version of their game runescape called “Oldschool Rs” or “RS2007”, i gave it ago and i began playing like crazy..
I’d play none stop, during work, during classes, in my apartment, in my library, i’d check out my game from my phone on teamviewer while i was at the gym i become more detached from my friends and peers and stopped caring about the friends i made during the past two years.. I showed complete apathy for many issues and neglected so many duties..
Eventually runescape began dying out for me, i lost interest and instantly needed something to ‘fill the gap’ or you might call it fill the void, this happened around september of 2013 (the game literally lost tens of thousands of players that month, the nostalgia ticket wore off), for 3 months i quit the game but instead of focusing on my studies i would spend that time i’d put on Rs into another game called Cs – portable.
I’d play it the same hours i played RS, none stop ignoring everything going around IRL not caring, even when a new room mate moved in i didn’t even pay attention to him because i was playing the game.. Eventually that game died out for me as well because the hackers would show up at every servers and the admins did nothing about it.
Then i decided to give RS07 1 more chance, came back and been playing now for 9 months.. I joined a new clan and became super active in it – would stay up all night for events and show up super tired to work and pay little to no attention during classes.. (Well doesn’t help the fact that the classes i took have nothing to do with me and are boring..).. I also had other issues took too many Ritalin pills to force myself to finish papers in the last minute and from that i developed a short term memory loss and massive attention disorder, now i cant even study without Ritalin..
I fucked up So bad.. I put a paper i had 3 months to write for the last 3 days then just crunched it all in without sleeping for 78 hours, i got a shit grade too. Kept taking ritalin after ritalin to stay awake and lucid.. Ate twice a day and showered everyday at 5 am. Fucking dumb, i spent that entire time playing games..
Now i am in a much worse situation, i had a paper due for 4 months and have been given extended time and i know I ONLY NEED TO concentrate for 3 days to finish it fully but i dont.. I go to the library sit with my laptop do nothing and write nothing then go home, nothing comes out even with Ritalin, all i want to do is just go home and play games i am not even taking care of my business.. I am not even working and neglected everything, not even looking for an apartment and i have 15 days left to find 1….
the situation completely escalated around june of this year.. I grabbed a free copy of Bf3 from origin and i began playing it, at first it was harmless fun but it became so bad that i’d just get home and just full on play none stop till the night then go to bed and wake up for work the next day..
I deleted the game later on but that didn’t help.. I ended up re-downloading it and playing it again this time in july it got so bad that i wasn’t working and was supposed to study – i wasted 2 entire weeks waking up every day at 7 am to play bf3 till 12 at midnight.. I did jack shit. Then i crammed in 2 weeks to finish my seminar paper and i did not – the professor gave me 1 more month and its been 1 month and a half and i’ve had the Doc file open in my task bar all this time and i never touched it once.. I betrayed my professor.. I lied.. I say i am working but i am simply playing games none stop.. I cant stop.. i want to stop.
Overall i’ve deleted and reinstalled bf3 7 times, at the end of july my laptop broke down and it was in repairs till the end of august – that meant no bf3 for me..
I thought i’d detox and focus on my studies again i’d go to the library sit down and try to study but there was a big event going on – it was the Gaza war and i just couldn’t psychologically do anything all i feel is guilt to see Palestinians get bombed by my own government with full impunity and being unable to do anything to stop it.. That surely did not help me, the sound of sirens and rockets hitting did not help either. Fuck Israel and Fuck Hamas for playing into israel’s hands.
I am now more politically ‘awake’, and want to do so many things.. I do very little and its not enough.
Back to the gaming – when my laptop broke down i just switched to my iphone, up until that point i never payed attention to iphone games and i could barely even use it (i was clueless to apps like twitter whats app etc.. Never used them till my laptop broke down), i became hooked on it and i found my fix in a game called Minecraft PE, i started playing it and would play it nonestop.. I blamed the war for my lack of motivation but i was truly just sitting down spending most of my time playing minecraft on my phone, i’d go to college and play it, go to the library and play it.. Even when i went up to an upper hill around sderot to see gaza’s destruction from a clear vantage point, i sure as heck played minecraft on my phone -..-. I feel so stupid.
At the end i got my laptop back and i told myself i’ll never play Bf3 and manage my time on Runescape, i found myself instantly playing Bf3: when runescape seemed to be super stale and lacks any competitive activity, with all my clan mates playing CS:GO and never inviting me to games i decided to try bf3 again ..and again began mock studying again.. I deleted it and redownloaded and today its september 15th – people that see me keep asking where i disappeared, my parents wonder why i never visit or call or answer the phone i barely have any connection with my siblings (other than buying my brother a gift, we dont have enough activities together) i almost keep no connection with friends and ignore their calls and invites.. I am supposed to do many things in work but i sideline it.. I need to call again my future employeer for a job interview but i dont do that..
I am shelled inside gaming i cant stop its gotten so bad now i want to just rid myself of it, i am angry at many things – mostly angry at myself for failing repeatedly while my peers are succeeding and advancing so well in our field of profession.. While i stay behind.. Working a shitty job that earns little money for someone that doesnt care.
Today is sept 15th, today i decreed to end it all, i am starting with the root cause – which is runescape, today i want to make it my final day of gaming (because i already played in the morning lol).. The only reason i play that game is my clan – i value my clan and love it more than i love the game its self.. its that social connection that has kept me playing and spending 11 years in the game’s clan community.. Be it a fan site moderator or a clan leader or a just a member.. It has to end. Runescape connects me to other games – I only heard about the Bf3 free copy from my clan mates (i dont follow game/entertainment news at all, IGN gamespot etc metacritic etc.. I havent entered those sites in at least 3 years) they dl’ed it and deleted it after a week – i kept playing for 3 months trying to improve and unlock everything..
Just today i woke up at 7 am aiming to finish my delayed paper.. I ended up playing Bf3 till 11 am – i got up and slapped my self and just jumped in the shower and got dressed and went to the library with my laptop.
the first thing i did was look up this article and re-read my post… Fucking hell man what the fuck did i do to myself.. Fucking Dumb how did i consciously ALLOW THIS, i was AWARE the entire time telling my self “STOP PLAYING STOP PLAYING” but i’d CONTINUE…
3 months gone by, i’ve clocked in 257 hours on Bf3 total, around 12 hours on CS:go and 30 hours on RS07..On the bright side i dont play minecraft pe anymore, lol..
Now i am sitting down reading as many guides as possible and this time i truly mean it, even while typing this – i feel like i have to get it out of my system – i wanna play Bf3 so bad.. Just to get 1 more jet run or chopper run and bombard my enemies with hellfire.. But i wont. I need serious help.. I dont know what to do. I am worried i wont manage to finish my M.A this year and i might have to take another semester to finish it.. And my parents pressure me to finish.. and i explain to them and bullshit them that my research takes ‘months’ it FUCKING DOESNT.
having 4 months to write a paper DOESNT MEAN YOU SIT DOWN playing for 3 months and 29 days then spend 1 day writing it FUCK sake what the fuck is wrong with me.. Me from 2012 excelled so much, i took my average form 80 to 85 in 1 fucking semester, all my grades went from lame 60s to 99s when i quit gaming (and when i used ritalin correctly!!! not fucking overdose!!!)..
I know i have a lot of potential and i get this a lot, i am able to analyze political situations beyond the rhetoric and propaganda and to see the policy behind it.. I have a great long term memory and i find myself able to connect the dots.., i can get to the bottom of issues and help people with relationship advice.. i can give you the best advice on any issue but i cant fucking help myself..
The worse part of this hole Bf3 experience is the fact i became SO ANTI social in real life and ONLINE LIFE.. I would ignore all my peers on irc and just not pay attention to whenever they wanna highlight and speak to me.. I would ignore all my clan mates on Runescape and simply mute my sound and not even go on teamspeak to chat with them.. I’d only go on for clan events.. I honestly thought if i become active again in Runescape i’d stop playing Bf3.. but i havent achieved that.. How can some one become anti social to his real and online friends? FOR FUCK SAKE.. Huston thats a big problem.
Bf3 is extremely anti-social there is no direct voice communication and most admins would kick you for talking too much in the chat or just get angry at you.. Am very sociable, see.. I like chatting.. If you ask me if the sun is shining i’ll begin rambling about conspiracy shit and physics about aliens and government cover ups, am a conspiracy NUT and i love political analysis.. I always feel like i should study either journalism or political science next to my existing profession.. But i understand that first i need to be free from my gaming addiction.
The worse part of this all? my brother is addicted to weed and i cant even help him, he’s like me saying i need to stop i need to stop – i can control it but each of us has his own drug for remedy and we always fall back to our vices.. its fucking pathetic.
You are so right about low self-esteem, i had a moment of enlightenment once.. During a protest – while everyone fled i stayed and got arrested then beaten mercilessly away from the camera’s sight by the riot control police – i knew and somehow felt that these guys can’t hate me more than i hate myself.. If you can’t care about your self or your well-being – how can others care about you and how can you care about others?.
This is something of profound fundamental values.. If you can learn to hate you can learn to love, if you can learn to have complete apathy then you can learn how to have complete sympathy.. I keep talking about my dreams and am not seeing the big picture here – i am not 14 years old anymore, i am 24 years old. I have friends that are married with children and most of my class mates from highschools are married as well, i am single with no one and pushed my girlfriend away.. To peruse gaming, i fake most of my emotions and i don’t even care.. I am angry at myself, the state i live in and the racism in this country and the fake corrective racism..
Change for me has to start from somewhere, my root cause for agony is my drug and my drug is in pixels called Runescape.. I need to put it behind me permanently and just never go back to it like all my other friends did.. None of the people i met in the game in its early days even play anymore all of them have gotten married or have full time jobs…. I feel like that main character from that tv show.. the bald guy – where he had potential to succeed and the aspiration to do but failed in the politicking part and just stayed behind everyone because he couldn’t take the initiative to work for the betterment of his situation.. (not that i wanna start a drug factory lol).
I want to quit gaming, i want to finish my duties and work for whats right.. I wanna help my people and i cant stand idle wasting my time on video games or wasting my life in some shitty politically incompetent parties.. Ah well.
Today is a big change for me, yesterday was a disaster.. And today i say no. today i wanna get my life back.
I am sorry for this long post.. Fuck it.
I used this site to vend my frustration and self disgust. I fucking suck and i need help..
Hello
I’m back and all the more crazy than ever. No seriously, I’m in vaccation now with nothing really useful to do. That means when the doorbell rings I don’t have to react.
😉
Giving up on music was an idea that didn’t work. Music, especially now that I can keep myself concentrated on very few selected genres, is so much more inspiring than ever – and it helps to release the stress I have had on my last week on my job before vaccation was on.
Or like today it helps me keeping my silver side up as I felt a little bit sick. Nothing special though, maybe the rest from the stress I’m about to get rid of.
Also I gave up on that idea to never watch a movie again.
I reinstalled my TV-set, but haven’t used it since.
So maybe tonight I will have a nice movie session. A good Back to the Future movie session maybe – these have alsways been some of my favorites.
So I have not turned myself into Germany’s next Bhudda – or something like that. And maybe I never will as it is just ok to be me. Who the heck is Bhudda? 🙂
But no matter what, movies are nowhere as addictive as video games have been.
These can sit peacefully on their shelves without me thinking about them regularly, except right now, as I really can effort some time with relaxing, doing absolutely nothing useful.
Just thinking about them (video games), the old days, makes my fuzzy.
Gives me the shivers.
Even today I can feel how it is still creeping under my brains skin.
Horror, pure terror.
Sometimes I also think that while I have been on the trails of my video game addiction, there could be a key laying hidden inside to why so many people are addicted to religion.
But this is only another of my many minor thoughts I also discuss with people around me sometimes.
I can not stress this often enough. But when I’m sitting in the bus or going by train, seeing all these young people playing video games yet nobody of them would consider him-/herself a gamer? This is so weird, especially when I sit not too far away thinking about how hard it has been to get rid of it. And they sit just there and play these games as it so normal.
Damn confusing, yet fascinating.
Greetings from Germany
Michael
@ Paul – Thanks for coming back and giving me an update. And congrats on rocking your med school exams! It took me a while (6+ months) before I found the temptations and “cravings” to go away. This is normal. What I recommend is to avoid watching twitch.tv because it will only make you want to play more. If you play a little bit with your friends and feel that’s ok, fine, but don’t engage in it on your own time, and only play with friends a little bit. Remember to focus on trying to develop your social circle outside of games too.
What new activities are you trying? I recommend something physical like rock climbing or martial arts. This will help you make new friends too. I’d be happy to feature your story and any tips you have as a blog post on its own. Email me if you want to do this! Use the contact form on the site.
@ Anonymousgamer – Hey! Thanks for coming by and commenting! Also, try to be kind to yourself, it will help motivate you towards what you want to do, instead of making you feel bad for what you haven’t done!
Something you want to notice is that you started playing games again when you weren’t feeling great or motivated in your life, so you can see how it snowballs and builds momentum so quickly! The key is to notice that it came from a desire to escape, so finding the root will allow you to fix it and *ideally*, will help you be able to move on.
Classes you are taking aren’t interesting, so you need to find an interest in something else, that’s where games come in. They stimulate you so you end up thinking about them all the time, when instead, you need to try and find an interest in other activities or hobbies, other subjects. For me, that was DJing and entrepreneurship. These are so much more interesting to me that now when I want to be stimulated I do that instead of game.
It’s also important to notice that you are trying to avoid looking at your situation and the habits you need to structure in order to set yourself up for success. Going to the library to study isn’t going to solve your addiction, you’re playing games to avoid studying in the first place. So instead, focus on developing new habits. What other activities could you take on, how could you structure your day differently. Instead of going to the library to sit there and study, try going for 1 hour to a coffee shop, somewhere that has more vibrance and energy, and only do it for 1 hour. Then go for a walk, maybe go work out or something relaxing for a minute, then go back and study for another hour. Make it easier to do the things you want to do.
I recommend reading a book called The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, it will help you a lot with the things you’re talking about. There’s a lot of guilt and shame in your post that is holding you back from being able to move on. This book (130 pages) will help! It did for me.
I really appreciate you opening up and sharing your story with us. Join us on reddit.com/r/stopgaming, it will be a great community of support too!
@ Michael – Great to hear from you again my man! Happy with your progress. Part of the phase you go through is you start giving the addiction less energy. When you first quit you have to focus so hard on NOT playing, because it’s so important not to, but now, for instance for me, I don’t really focus on it that much, I just don’t play, I know I don’t need to and so I don’t. But I don’t spend too much time thinking about it either, I just let it go and move forward doing the things in my life that inspire me instead of the things that don’t. I’d recommend checking out some other hobbies. What did you dream about as a kid? Try those.
i’ve spent so much of my life on video games. I grew up playing them and have never slowed down, only increased. I never documented how much total time it took me to play games before xbox live, but i did keep track of just a few major titles.(accumulative) Red dead took 45 solid days of gameplay. BF3 was 43 days (i never kept actual track of 1943,bc,bc2,bf2,bf2mc etc- but i know i put in almost just as much time in all of them). minecraft at least 40 solid days. gta 5 – 55 days in multiplayer. 55 accumulative days in the past 11 months – that’s about 1/6 of the year spent only on gta, and gta wasn’t the only game i played in the previous year. Ive wasted so much of my life. To think, if i had put this much effort into academics… i would be have the brainpower to pop grapes from across the room.
This article and ted talks vid has changed me. Thank you.
@ Crawch – Thanks for commenting! It’s crazy to look back at all the time we’ve spent, but all you can control is how you decide to move forward from here. Invest your time into things you’re passionate about (and if you don’t know what these are, invest your time in fighting them out), and you’ll look back in a few years and be glad you did. Proud of you for taking this leap, let me know if I can help you in any way!
Hello @CAM
You are right.
In the beginning it is very hard to even stay focused on the newly found goal. And it can give one some bad headache too.
When it becomes more natural so it just happens to not bother too much anymore, the headaches go away and things are easier.
And I do have found some other hobbies to invest my time into.
I’m also planning ahead into the future. That measn that I’m not to fond with spending money into anything else besides the few things I really need. So in two years I can move to another place without any monetary problems.
Things from my childhood I liked to do? Oh dear. Let’s not talk about these – like playing video games.
Actually I do have some of the old good things back in my life.
Some friends to hang around with, some walks in the nature, a cat that needs attention, good music to get more into, books to read, a job that is quite good,
the idea to not become the next Bhudda etc.
And my future.
Maybe I have not yet met the point when it doesn’t hit me to think about video games any longer.
So at least talking about it is better than losing it again.
I don’t know for how many years you have been an addict, but for me it was more than half of my life. Now I’m in my mid 30s.
And I have been playing intense, very intense.
I still wonder that my parents did not care enough, though I was not the best pupil in my class.
I could basically come home and sit right away in front of the TV or gaming console, and nobody cared.
Looking back into my past makes me wonder what could have been different. But that was than. Now is now. And life goes on, time always goes forward, not backward.
So I do care, now.
🙂
Greetings.
@ Michael – Not so much what were the things you did when you were a child, but what dreams you had. Those can be enlightening sometimes.
Are you working a job or anything? That always helps to have more structure. At least for me.
@CAM
Hello
Sure I do have a job., for quite some years. Without a job here in Germany goes nothing. And I need a fixed income to prepare myself for future goals. Working 50+ hours a week.
Or maybe I just misunderstood your question?? Or I misquoted myself at one point?
Dreams? This where it gets difficult.
As a child I have had either very far out dreams or none at all.
I remember that I have never been talking with other kids about dreams and stuff. We were always busy in one way or another.
Even in my teens I have never had some enlightening talks to others about the future or personal goals.
This is where we enter the weird part of my life – once again.
Nobody cared about anything happening with me being connected to real life.
Sometimes I wondered if I did really exist. Nothing made sense, never.
So this might have been a reason to add up to my list of reasons why it was a good thing for many years to play video games.
Why not just stay in virtual reality when basically nothing seemed real altogether.
Actually it is all different, for the most part of it.
Life has become real at one point and I’m glad it happened.
But dreams?
I can barely remember any to be worth to hunt them down.
That is why I’m planning into my future now.
I realise it is about time to move to another place, see another portion of this country, to be surrounded by different people.
Also this is reason why I plan on next years vaccations. To be not to be here for a little while.
Basically I can say that I started to live and to become a real person only recently.
I still need to absorb lots of informations regarding to reality to imagine more worthy things to do.
So I do have quite enough things to do for now, but the more I know.
And when things are becoming to chaotic to me, I just sit back and listen to some music.
Otherwise when not being on vaccation I have to work 8+ hours a day, so there is not much time left to waste anyway. So that makes it a little bit difficult sometimes to even go into something new, because than I have to figure to where to take the time needed to get used to.
And I have some people/friends I hang around with too.
Maybe too much distraction at one point for me. All seems so damn busy.
This is why I’m glad to have this week and the next one enough time for myself.
Most important thing is to furthermore get my thougts in order.
Next week I have planned on doing some walks and to enjoy nature, ambiet sound scapes and 3D realistic motifs if I can say so.
Don’t worry. I’m nor depressed or bored.
Greetings
Michael
Breaking the addiction was and still is something I am working on. I still play but as I do other things I find more motivation for growing in my career versus something that is completely irrelevant. I’m a Telecommunications engineer by trade so electronics are my forte so to speak. I like dealing with intricacies and solving problems and unfortunately video games provide that avenue as well. I’m real big into BBQ since I live here in Texas. I love to smoke my own brisket, ribs, or pork shoulder and getting the desired results. I started putting all of my video game effort into that hobby and have got to the point I can compete in BBQ tournaments, not all I need is a truck :). Your article is insightful and correct in about every aspect.
I probably won’t ever go completely away from games as some of my best childhood friends live in Pennsylvania and the only way we ever get together is in a game of Starcraft II unless they are visiting over the holidays. However, I am still looking at limiting my time in games even further to the point that having a gaming desktop is irrelevant and start putting that money where it belongs, on a new head and cam job for my Corvette. Come to think about it, that is another aspect that has driven me away from the gaming scene, money. It costs to much to be buying the latest and greatest, hosting a server that isn’t hostable locally, or just buying gold on games like World of Tanks to get those special tanks that arn’t any better than the rest. Other than BBQ, I’m a big firearm fan but that is a money pit from hell too. As you said, you really need to find something else that you like and get into it hard.
@ Michael – For some reason my reply did not go through. I hope you are well!
@ Brandon – Thanks for commenting and sharing your story. That’s awesome to hear about your love for BBQ! It’s unique at least for the comments we’ve received so far. I will be in Austin and Dallas next week! I’m happy to hear you were able to direct your passions in new directions, and it’s helped you play games in a more meaningful and positive way. Hope you’re having a great day!
F**K!
I visited this website about a year ago, because I wanted to quit video games. But when I left, guess what I did: I went back to gaming. Why? Because I NEVER F**KING IMPLEMENTED WHAT THIS ARTICLE IS TRYING TO SAY. I thought quitting meant that I should read all the time, but for some f**king reason, when I read this article back then, I just didn’t get it. I have now REREAD the article, and actually UNDERSTAND what the article is saying. I think it is really good advice, and hopefully it works and I can quit video games forever and go on with my F**KING LIFE!!!
i call bullshit.
@ Paul – Thanks for commenting! If you follow the advice it WILL work. Wish you the best of luck. 🙂
@ Jake – On what?
Hi there
@CAM
Something strange was happening for a while.
I received notifications that there were new comments on here. But when I checked, I found nothing but my last post. I guess that happened five or six times than I just stopped looking until recently.
So far everthing is fine. All is working out as it should.
Off of gaming goes very well.
I’m deeper into exploring music listening to multiple genres. Even I could not quit watching movies entirely I have reduced it almost automatic. Without thinking too much about it.
And I stopped reading too many books. That helped me to slow down some more.
Everything is more clear now than say some weeks ago.
Have catched a cold almost two weeks ago. Survived it pretty good. Learned something about my diet during that time.
Now I stopped to exercise for a while and re-edit my nutrition plan, building it up step by step.
I tried to be too adventurous on that, but my body got his revenge on me.
Guess I learned that I did it wrong all the years before.
Maybe I’m not even the exercise type of person. So I set it back and go slow and only for the most neccessary training units. But not until next week. This week I still do no exercising at all. Still have to recover a little bit.
So I learned quite something as I have had that cold. Found the good in the not so good in that situation.
Can’t fool my mind and my body forever.
I also survived my energy drink rush. Got one or two every day for over a year.
Maybe that helped too to bring me to a screeching halt.
At first it was like nothing. Than the caffein level dropped. The hyper-energetical level vanished.
Now that is over too.
I guess that also helped my body to push out that cold. Otherwise I would have not got it that way but got it worse sometimes later?
Energy drinks and certain daily caffein doses can trick your body. So it tricked mine.
To stop energy drinks helped further to slow down.
So my life is slowed down to its essential speed now.
I’m still hot on my plan to go on some nice holiday trips next year and also moving into another city either towards the end of next year or in 2016.
In short – all is fine. I guess I never felt better.
No big thoughts about the virtual worlds anymore. There is more vital stuff to go after.
And one more thing I totally stopped to care about – conspiracy theories.
That was something lurking in the deepest corners of my brain for many years.
One day I was on my usual conspiracy theory check routine, a thought came upon me. It was mere like a slight tickling somewhere between my ears.
Like I found something or maybe like something left me. As if a sickness falls off of me.
Life can be so easy when no strange fantasies and worries plague your daily businesses.
One of some points or events happening to me recently.
I thinkg I understood something important from all of this. One must not think too hard about anything. It must be felt inside and one must want to achive something – and then let go for a very good portion.
Too much control makes one crumpy, harder to let go and even easier to return to “Moron Mountain” (that nasty world we all want to leave).
@PAUL
I too stumbled several times befor it hit me.
Even until recently I learned some lessons that from now on will help me to be more happy and less harsh on myself.
Sometimes it helpes to be just relaxed and to keep the ‘thinking’ in the closet.
Even a brain needs to relax. At least mine did.
To try too hard might not work. Maybe not even to try it. Just do it. And the more relaxed you are, the easier you can do it.
And the best thing is that I’m less busy than before.
For me to keep myself more busy meant more stress. More stress meant more chances to become sick or go back to the one habbit I wanted to never go back to again.
But the more I relaxed the easier it got. Everything got easier.
@ALL
I read in one comment (it was a bit of a harsh comment though) that just doing something else instead of gaming is like replacing one addiction with another.
It might not be true that way. But on a second thought it can become true.
It can become true if you are too possesed with the idea to stop playing video games and doing something else instead.
Some people may fall into that trap as they misunderstand this article about “how to quit playing video games forever”.
How about slacking off some time?
I know it can be hard to figure out with what you want to fill that gap of free time than.
But how about not to fill it with anything for a while?
Instead feel the gap. Mind the gap! Fill the gap with time. And than decide on what you want to spend that time you have won.
Greetings from a Germany that is about to face the winter season
Michael
Hi Cam and all the others!
So it’s now six months since I quit video games. Since my last post lots of things happened. First I’m glad to say that I had very long summer this year. Actually it lasted same amount of time as all summers. The difference was this time that I didn’t play video games. At first it was hard to find how to use this free time. I decided to start reading lots of books and I did that. I think even too much. I reached stage there I felt like I have so much to improve that I started to feel tired. I also started to draw. But I don’t feel much pleasure while doing that so now I stopped.
When studies started I did very well. I even managed to get in more close relationships with few people. Now I have few people to talk to when I’m at university. I also started to study the language much more seriously. One thing I noticed which I did not to such an extent is how beautiful autumn is. These changes of leaves colours a smell of air. Yes, I took often walks in a parks, that brought me some true inner calm.
Though temptation to play again sometimes comes back. I’m very happy that this site exists because it’s no.1 help to me by reading articles and comments again to overcome that temptation. I see that in comment section there was some very good points made too. I’m still searching for ways to be more productive and enjoy life more. Quite often I feel lack of motivation even if I have goals set. Often I feel angry on myself that I can’t make some things work better or achieve better results even if I trying hard…I Should try to work more on positive thinking.
Wish you all luck to find happiness in your lifes ! 🙂
@ Michael – Sometimes this article gets spam comments and I always remove them ASAP so that might be why. Sorry!
I encourage you to continue exercising, but maybe change your approach. Try 30 minutes every day and make sure you’re still eating well and getting enough rest. WATER!
Also, reading or watching conspiracy theories is one of the easiest ways to get depressed about life because it puts you into a paranoid and low vibration state. I would definitely say to try and avoid those. They are always something out of our control and instead what you should do is try to focus on things you CAN control as much as possible. This will motivate you more.
The key is to replace your habit (video games) with something that is healthier and more productive in your life. So for example you could say I have replaced my video game addiction with “business addiction” or “DJing addiction”, except the context of “addiction” means that it’s having a NEGATIVE impact on your life. DJing brings happiness and fulfillment to my life and doesn’t take away from other parts of my life (unlike video games!) so it’s not an addiction.
It IS important that you replace video games with something though.
@ Tobias – Thanks for coming back and sharing your update! I want to tell you how proud I am of you for quitting games during the summer. That would definitely be one of the hardest times! When we’re so absorbed in games it’s easy to lack presence in life. This is one reason why you’ve noticed more about the autumn colors. You’re more present in the world around you and your mind isn’t all caught up in video games every minute of the day. This is a breakthrough!
A book I would recommend to you is The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. This is a great book for dealing with guilt and shame as you’ve mentioned you’re hard on yourself sometimes.
Hello @CAM
Maybe I was not too clear.
I don’t play video games anymore. That is over. I don’t bother thinking about them anymore too, other than sometimes talking about the past.
And no. I found it worked for me the other way around.
There is no such a thing to replace an addiction with another ‘more worthy’ habbit.
I tried it that way and it put me under more stress, which turned me lesser well.
I didn’t want to replace anything with another thing. I wanted to get rid of something. forgot? Not replacing it. Getting rid of it. That was the key action. And I had to work out the way that was effective for me.
So I stopped playing video games – just like that. These are no longer part of my life and in no other way of any importance.
Point here is, if you want to stop something really bad, you will stop it.
That is exactly the way it worked for me as I was about to quit smoking. I also did not replace it with another habbit. I just stopped it, because I really wanted it.
But I have won lots of time through that process. And I decided to use that time for something that is more vital to myself than to anyone else. I have no need anymore to impress someone. Either someone believes that I could do it my way or not. Everyone has to find his/her own comfort in doing things the appropriated way to fit the personal lifestyle.
I keep everything more relaxed now, taking my time for any action I do. Be more aware of time.
The things have it that I already have had lots of hobbies and stuff to do. Now I can enjoy these even more. I have enough time now.
But there is no need to ‘replace’ my old video game addiction as there is no room for that.
I wonder how I could have found so much time playing video games after all.
What I wanted to say in my last post is that when you try too hard you may only punish yourself. What could work better as a punishment than keep playing and feeling more stupid than before? Right. So no punishment for me 🙂
I also stopped exercising because of my physical condition. I ate too much over the last few years. And I basically needed the extra treatment (exercise) to keep myself in shape. And in the long run I needed that food to keep me going for the exercise routine. It worked all for itself. I was basically a slave to yet another addiction – one that doesn’t even make sense as it didn’t earn me more respect than before.
Truth has it that I’m not the physical type anyway. I was exercising only to win a fight I have already lost when I started to fight. Maybe I started it once only to feel better because I was a video game nerd.
And yes, I change my diet. But I go slow on that. No more haste, especially not in those important things that need time to develope. When I got this right for me than I can start to exercise again. But as long as I need to build energy to do my daily routine and I have to figure the correct diet for me, exercising will take away too much to make me feel comfortable for the rest of the day.
And to be honest I’m fed with exercise routines set by professionals and the likes.
As I told already, I’m not the physical type – never have been.
Look. On any day from Monday to Friday – and even every second Saturday I have only so much time left.
Taking the bus to the next gym takes away massive time (as I have to take the route twice to come back home). Than the exercising will take another piece of my time. Taking a shower after the gym. I also take a shower after my daily 9-10 hours of work. I need at least 7-8 hours of sleep or I will not function properly. I need time to eat proper. And I need time to go to work and to come back home from there too.
There is only a small fragment of time each day left. And I have to stuff every good and fun thing in that little space.
No.
I did slow down for a reason. Not to fall back again, but to go forward in leaps I have never done before.
Beyond all the exercises I have done for the last twelve years, all the time consuming planning of what to eat and when. It took me down too much. That also made me searching for ‘quick fun’. Video games provided that quick fun in an otherwise stuffed up life with no real time to do anything positive.
I know that exercising can do something positive and I will be back at it, but than only in small doses as I don’t need that much and only when I’m done with my diet correction.
Maybe I sounded too harsh on that addiction thing. But that is how it worked out for me. I became addicted to another thing. It can be different for anyone around here. There is no ‘only this way works’ routine. There is no universal recipe.
I have been very open for your concept and I love what you do. But what you did, and how you did it – this only worked exactly that way for you. It is your path of breaking a habbit that went negative. I still aprreciate it. I’m glad you made it too.
So I made it in another possible way.
I learned to let go. Simple and clean. I have no need to replace the old gaming habbit. Actually I have no idea how to replace something that is gone anyway.
But I have more time to actively go after more realistic life goals. Reading more books is not a goal wothy. I already read books that is why.
I also listen to music already.
But I have more time to enjoy these things on a now more intense level. And that lifts my life onto another plain of existence.
And I found more time to think actively about my future. I can focus more cllearly now. But I also mentioned this.
Please, don’t be negative on what I have to tell. This is my story, how it goes for me. And I think people can learn from this too.
CAM, maybe we forget to mention the most effective fact of them all – aging. Yes, AGING. We all become older and with age comes wisdom. Listen what I sound like and I maybe have only left behind half of the miles that are destined to be my life.
That may be a reason why my body started to yell for a brake and became sick. The cold I told you about. I never have had a cold that way. But I made it through, and I learned valuable things about myself and my body, that needs some rest.
Besides I realised that I have hidden energies that can break free when doing my work at my jobs place. I can work faster than before, be more focused on the tasks I have to do and more.
Simply concentrating on the vital things, nothing more.
Relaxing and just let go, that was a ‘key’ that worked for me and unlocked some doors I never dared touching before.
Lots of moments in my life I did not trust myself. That is why I tried so hard to do anything to get past the time. But the time eventually caught up with me and tought me one or another lesson.
I can not ignore that any longer just to fulfill other peoples dreams.
The way I lived did not make me more attractive towards women.
It did not make me more worthy in my job than anyone else.
Now I started to realise why.
Remember when I told you that playing video games was kind of a way to mask another addiction.
I was programmed to fullfill other peoples expectations.
Those were:
– one must exercise (people that don’t exercise are lazy as fuck)
– one must eat healthy (people not eating healthy enough are lazy as fuck). By the way, there is no one and only way to eat healthy for anybody as we are all different (that is why I have to reconfigure my diet)
– one who does not this or that is lazy as…..well, you can figure it out by now.
So I decided to listen to my body and be just that LAF.
It helps me to bring my life in order like it has never been before.
Everything comes more clear to me, no matter what I actually think about.
Sorry for this yet again lenghty post. Maybe one day you can understand my own concept of braking apart with bad habbits.
I will sum up how it works for me (not only to repeat myself):
If you want to break with a bad habbit for real, you will do it anyway. Funny thing, the time it will happen is unpredictable. Yet you will recognise when it happenes. Then you will feel it and you feel how some heavy weight gets lifted off of your shoulders. So it happened to me with other bad habbits before.
Funny too, it does however not work properly when I try to push it to happen – like the replacing method, which is a way of pushing yourself.
That kind of pressure only works backwards with me. Especially when other people are trying to help and than their expectations rest on my shoulders too. Too much weight to lift.
Than I have to deal with my ‘new’ task and the old habbit plus my own and the foreign expectations. Means only more stress to me.
So I just let go. I stopped to care what other might think about me if I fall again. And so I stopped to stumble and I haven’t been on my knees since.
As I said, I appreciate that you figured out a way for you to break with video games. But I hope you understand that it works different for different people.
This is why I say that it IS important to go slow and relax. 😉
Thanks for taking your time and reading all of this.
Greetings from Germany
Michael
@ Michael – Thanks for commenting man! Yes, I understand what you mean. I think we’re using the word “replace” to mean the same thing.
Exercise can happen anywhere, in your house even. I travel so much that gyms are hard to go to, but running outside and doing some pushups is always an option for me!
I also agree that addiction or habit breaking is relative to each person. It’s something I talk a lot about in the comments of my TEDx video. The important part is to focus on finding what works for you and that’s all. All that matters at the end of the day is that you break from your habit and live a more passionate and fulfilling life! I’m happy you’ve been able to find this for yourself! 🙂
Hi Cam
Thank you for your response and support ! I will check the book you recommended. Probably will post an update after another half of the year 🙂
@ Tobias – Yes! Please come back and update us again. Very proud of you. 🙂
Hello Cam,
i posted on here on March 26, 2014, then a few more times on the same date, and then again on March 31.
Since that time, i again tried to take breaks from gaming, but i couldnt take real ones ; i always after only a few days get back into gaming and its the same story again.
I said i wouldnt buy Resident Evil 5 again but i did.
I re-bought this game 2 times now.
I also traded and re-bought Grand Theft Auto 5 2 times.
Like i said, its still the same story, i get to play games, enjoy it for some time, then i find it more draining and painfull than anything else.
Most of the new games that came out i found kinda annoying ; what i mean is that i have less and less patience and so it shows how much i changed as a gamer, i mean, normally a regular gamer would like to play games and mostly enjoy them, of course it sucks to die and have to restart to save points, but its part of games, its challenges and so even if we have to restart, normally a regular gamer wouldnt mind all that much because he/she would still enjoy the games in general, but… for me now and that is around i would say since the last 2-3 years, i got to find games more annoying, i dont have much patience and i also got much more difficult.
The last games that i played was The Evil Within, a mix of Resident Evil, Silent Hill and Outlast, and, i had fun for the first hour, but then its trouble ; we have to sneak around and not be caught, and so it takes more time to do things, then we have to find special weapons that are hidden, and to go through the stages and bosses is alot of work, and so like i said, since i have much less patience, then i get annoyed and i am easily dissapointed in games.
Some time ago i realised something. I realised that i have been focusing more on what the people could think and say about me than focusing on THINGS in life.
I had tears in my eyes thinking about it, it also made me realise how much the social in video games is so much easier, because the people do not really know us, they get to know us, but us as in the games we play and how we play them, which ISNT the ”real life” us.
I then typed this on my PS3 profile ”Focus on things, not the people(as in not what the people could be thinking about you/us)”.
I also realised how much ive been putting my real life on hold with video games.
Im not saying that playing games was always bad, but when we cancel real life activities for games, and when gaming begins to be ”crutchs” to many things, like easier socialising, because it is easier, we cant really be shy and we cannot be judged, so yes, when gaming SEEMS, to make life easier… then its not really natural or good.
Like i said, i tried to take breaks again here and then, but i couldnt, and so it continued being a pain, i mean playing games.
Its weird because i still like games, and its like i know i will always like them, and be fascinated by them (graphics, A.I’s, programming, etc), but at the same time its a pain… its stopping me from doing more things in real, and advancing and do more in real.
I feel like its not fair…. why cant i just take breaks and have a faire share of real life activities ???
As i feel my msg is really long, i will say this : I finally again… decided to quit, and so a few days ago i put an add on the net to sell my Ps3 and all my games.
So far i got 2 replies, one asking me for some details, and so i replied, and then later the next day a second reply, this time this person is taking my deal and wants everything (Ps3 with all games).
Do you think its a sign ?
I still dont feel like selling everything, but i think ik have to… but im sad and kinda scared.
I need to do something, and i know that i need to find things to do to help in the process.
These days there is one subject that interest me, and its Nutrition, im thinking to maybe get into that subject, read about it more and maybe even go back to school and study it.
I didnt reply to this person that accepted my deal, and i didnt because like i said, im afraid to jump, sell everything and then i might have a strong reaction when i wouldnt have any console and games anymore.
Do you think i should really do it this time now, sell everything now now ??
Like i said, im afraid that when i will have sold everything, that the next time i feel like gaming that i would be all like ”omg what did i do”.
Im scared that i wont have ideas of what else things to do, so i dont know…
Please tell me what you think.
I hope you see my post soon and reply asap, because i feel like i might just sell all my things and then regret it… so i would like to have youre toughts before i would do it.
I feel like i really need to get rid and so sell all my games to move on in my life, but im stuck because im scared of how i will react the next time ill feel like playing.
If i do get to sell my things before i get a reply, it will be ok, im not expecting you to reply just like that lol, you have a life, and you have been helping alot of people.
So, the next time i will post, i maybe will have sold all my games, if not i might have taken an appointment to meet this person that wants to buy everything and ill just have to wait for that day and time.
Thank you again for what you do Cam.
@ Mylene – Thanks for coming back and sharing your update! I think it’s worthwhile to sell your games! This is the step you need to take to finally make the jump.
Identifying nutrition as a potential passion or hobby is amazing! I definitely recommend reading up on it, check out http://marksdailyapple.com, maybe you could start your own blog? Are there any foodie or nutrition meetups in your area? (Check meetup.com).
Here’s the ultimate success formula. See how this applies to your situation:
1) Know Your Outcome (be specific, clarity is power)
2) Know Your Reasons Why (why is this a MUST!?)
3) Take Massive Action
4) Know What You Are Getting (measure your results!)
5) Change Your Approach (do this until you get to your outcome!)
So, apply this to your situation, what is your outcome. Yes, quitting video games is part of it, but what do you really want? What’s something BIGGER and inspiring? Maybe you need to think about this!
Next, why is this important to you? Why is this a MUST not a SHOULD.
Then, take massive action. Schedule your day, sell your games, write down a list of tasks for you to do in the direction of your outcome.
Then measure your results, how is it going? Always measure. What gets measured gets managed.
Finally, change your approach until you get to where you want to go. Keep changing it until you get there.
Hope that helps, I believe in you!
Thank you Cam for replying,
I found a buyer for my Ps3 and all my games, and i took an appointment, and its tomorrow, Monday night.
Im still upset about getting rid of everything because… even if i want to read about Nutrition, and even if i want to get to workout more, im still upset because i have no one to do things like going out (movies, workout partner).
I really have no one, so it scares me 🙁
Being on Playstation Online, i had access to the world in general, but i know… its not people that i was seeing in real…
but still, im upset ill be alone all the time 🙁
Ill sell my Playstation and games, the person that wants to buy it accepted my deal, and so… a side of me is saying that i have to do it… but the other side is all upset, unsure and sad.
About a Blog, are there free wesbites where i could do that ??
@ Mylene – Hey man! What I suggest is to find some social hobbies, things like a martial arts class or rock-climbing gym. This way you are able to make friends through the hobbies.
WordPress.com is a way to start a blog for free! 🙂
I will check this website, and thank you for the suggestions,
im selling all my games tomorrow, *taking a deep breath*, i guess its normal to feel the way im feeling, games have been with me since many years,
only hoping it WILL be benificial and that i wont fall into depression or anything like that o_O.
I want to go through this and i will, i always try to be positive.
@ Mylene – You will be ok! Trust that this is part of the process.
BTW, I have a new video out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsT5eV_m7BA
Hey Cam, i finally sold my Ps3 and all my games today.
Its been in the box for 2 days ; i was waiting to meet the buyer and i decided to unplug it in advance and all.
Ive been thinking about login on PSN everyday, and that since the day i put it in the box.
I hope that this ”automatic tought” will leave soon because its really annoying….
It keeps reminding me how login on PSN became some kind of need, it was automatic, and so everytime i think about it, i feel kinda bad.
Hoping it wont take a month to stop having this tought.
I was able to sell my Ps3 and games even if i was kinda emotional, i mean like, i was not crying but i was telling the buyer aout how i felt about it a bit.
When he asked me why i was selling them, i told him that i still liked games, but that since a while, that i more feel the need to do other things, and that games kept me playing games instead of doing other different things…
Omg i hate the way im feeling right now, if i knew that years later, that games would have made me feel like that…. i wouldnt have got into them… but of course we cant know in advance… but then why it turned like that for me ? now im onto the ”why” again… like in youre video, ”why me”.., seems like i had things to learn with this, and right now its kinda painfull.
I know im repeating myself, but i hope that thing automatic tought of wanting to log in on PSN will dissapear asap…
Now i got a new book ill start reading soon, and also like i said before about Nutrition, ill get more infos on if they have the classes at the College in my city, and might consider take some class but im not sure, i might just try to find some good books to read and educate myself more about it.
@ Mylene – Hey! Congrats man!! This is a big move for you. The thoughts you’re having will dissipate over time. It may take a few months for the intensity to die down but it WILL over time, I promise. 🙂
Focus on exercising and being out of the house as much as you can, these will help a lot!
BTW – Do you mind sharing that video with your friends or FB or whatever? Would love the help in spreading that message!
Hope you’re having a great day. Focus on your new goals, it will keep you motivated!
Hello Cam,
i shared the video, i also shared other videos of you in the past on my FB before 😉
Im feeling better today ; im getting other ideas for things to do ; a long enough time ago now i used to cook, or cook more. I tought about getting back into it, bake muffins and some healthy stuff.
Have a good night 🙂
Hey Mylene,
Thanks for sharing them! I really appreciate all of your support. BTW I’m on FB: https://www.facebook.com/officialcamadair
🙂
Great article, I have been debating on quitting video games (particularly one) for a long time. The hardest thing is I am very competitive in this game and play at a very high level in it, and I know a lot of people in the games who have become good friends. I would not mind playing the game casually, but I cannot force myself to do that and 1 game turns into 10-15 very quickly…
Your article convinced me to uninstall the game, and I feel a lot better now. Even though I still feel the urge to play (just uninstalled today), I feel I have more control over the situation now. To me the biggest part of your article that I connected with is the idea that you can get along without playing video games, and can even get rid of the urge to play. I didn’t want to keep playing, as it took so much time, but I did for some reason I couldn’t understand. While I was still being social and getting good grades, I was just obsessed with the game always thinking about it, and even sometimes dreaming about it. Now I feel in-control enough to to take charge and tell myself I don’t want to keep playing, and I wont. It is nice that I will have enough free time to do things I couldn’t before because I was playing the game.
Thanks for the article.
@ Tim – Thanks for commenting! The urges will come and go so try to be prepared for that. Although it can be annoying, just notice them when they come and let them pass just as quickly.
Wish you good luck! Appreciate you sharing your comment with me 🙂
@ Tim, i know exactly how you feel,
Its kinda like this : you want to take a break or stop playing, but you dont really know why.
Sure we can have reasons like leveling up, unlocking stuff in the game and other things like that, but thing is, we dont have to play those games, we dont have to level up in a game, we dont carry what we unlock in games with us in real (that would be way too cool LOL).
Like Cam said to me and others before, deleting a game is kinda a first step.
I did that, and then i started deleting other things from my Ps3, and then i finally put an add to sell it and when i found a buyer, well, i had to wipe my Ps3, bring it back to its manufacture state and all.
So, if i was going to change my mind, i would then have to start all my games all over, because erasing all data, i lost all the progress and things i did in games.
So like we said, deleting the game is a first step, and if like me and other people, you follow youre instinct, you might get rid of all the games you have in time.
The first time i posted on here was i think in April, and i just sold my Ps3 a few days ago.
Im still feeling the need to get online, because i used to get on everyday or almost everyday, and so now that i dont have a Ps3 anymore, its like a part of me is gone, i get automatic toughts about loggin on PSN (Playstation Network), but then my tought pass, and anyway, i dont have the choice because i dont have a Ps3 anymore.
I tought i would have a much stronger reaction to not having a Ps3 anymore, i had 2 nights where it was kinda tough, i even told myself ”what did i do”, and i felt sad, BUT, this tells us something…. it tells me that i HAVE to do other things now, i also realised that i put too much of my real life on hold.
Something else i found/read on the internet, im not sure if its Cam that said it or if i saw it on another video on youtube, but oh wait… it maybe was a meme too, ANYWAY lol, its that : Need to get more XP in my real life now.
This line made me realise more things, and its true.
Videogames arnt bad, but if we put our real life on hold too much, and that even in general, then we have to go back to the source, and get XP in real 😉
Im sorry about my english, its not perfect because my first language is french.
@ Cam, im able to watch games videos on youtube and im ok, im still not planning on buying a Ps4 anytime soon.
question : are you ever thinking on giving conferences and talks in Canada some time later ??
It would be so cool if you would come to like Ottawa, i live near there.
I would even be ready to spread the word on youre conference in my city and also Ottawa 😉
i wish we could edit our text after we submit it, i forgot a few words in my text, see my edit below, ty.
@ Tim, i know exactly how you feel,
Its kinda like this : you want to take a break or stop playing, but you dont really know why ***you keep playing***
As in, we want to stop, but we seem to always find reasons to keep playing.
I found some nice videos on Youtube, searching with ”quit playing videogames” in the search bar.
Some people say we keep going back to it, not because we are addicted to the games itself ; the thing we seem to get addicted to is everything else that the real life doesnt have, that is fantasy, special powers and all those things, adding challenges and all.
So, since it seems that we are lacking of fun, challenges and special things in our real life, instead of playing games, we have to DO things in real to make our real life more exiting.
We also have to be realistic, because yes, i wish i could do things like travel and do all kinds of things that we can EASILY do in games.
Thing is, life wasnt meant to be easy, but WE can make it easier or better, and only ourselves can do it, and for ourselves, no one can do it for us, and we cant do it for other people either.
o_O ok… i just again realised and more that selling all my games and quitting gaming WAS/IS the best thing i could do for myself now.
Thank you very much again for what you do Cam 🙂
@ Mylene – That’s something I’ll look into. Thanks for the suggestion! Really appreciate your extra help sharing advice with other people who comment! 🙂
Hello, LotRO addict here!
I am addicted to the game Lord of the Rings online, I found out about this game in an on-line course about Tolkien, “Online games, Literature, New Media and Narrative” at Coursera. I have been a Tolkien fan for ages, and this was the only Tolkien MOOC which I could find. The professor in the course was showing snippets from the game, and it was fascinating for me as a Tolkien fan, and I wanted to play this game and “experience” Middle-Earth as if I were there, immerse myself in my beloved fantasy land as never before. What is significant is that I have not played any games previously and generally considered them a silly and brainless entertainment. But as I started playing LotRO, I was more and more attracted to this game, mainly because it was set in Tolkien’s Middle-Earth which I was a fan of, and I liked the graphics very much. From August when the course started till today, I levelled up my character to 35 level, and it was the first MMO game I played. I believe MMO are the worst kind of games, they are very time-consuming from their very nature, because just to get from point A to point B in the game it takes a lot of time, so they are not like some other games you can play for a little while, if you do so, you simply achieve nothing in the game. It is not Tetris you can play for five minutes and then quit.
So first I was playing the game quite a lot, maybe four-six hours a day, and at first I was not worried because from time to time I have these fascinations, like a new book or a film, which lasts for a very short time and then disappears out of its own accord, and this is an example: I had it with the Hunger Games trilogy, I simply read all the books in three or two days, then watched the movie, read all about it on the forums, devoured fanfiction, fan music etc. and after some time I suddenly lost interest in it completely, and now I don’t care about it at all. So, I hoped it would be the same with the game and that it will gradually bore me and I would quit it after some time, just like it happened with Hunger Games, without doing anything in particular to stop myself from gaming. I believed that the game is attractive to me only because it is so new to me, and as soon as the newness would wear off, I would quit it. At first I was playing 4-6 hours daily, later I played from time to time, not every day, but every two days, for a 2-3 hours in the evening. The longest I went without the game was I believe five days. Today I decided to call it quits and uninstalled the game – I believe it is the best option, just to get rid of the game instead of reducing the time spent playing, because if one does not get rid of the game, it will continue to tempt them. The installation file of LotRO is quite large, so once it is uninstalled, I would have to go to great lengths to download it again, and I hope I would be to lazy to wait for the download 😉
The game did not cause much problems in my life, I am currently unemployed, so I guess I started playing out of boredom and to experience something new. The rationale behind my playing which I used to justify myself was that I want to find a job as a game translator and to do so, I must needs know something about games, I cannot just start doing something like this without having played a game. But now it’s enough 😉 As I mentioned, I am currently unemployed, I graduated from my studies (where I always was a good student), so the game was not interfering with my job or studies (anyway, I would have never put a game before getting good marks). The problem is I am terribly shy and I do not have any friends, except one friend who is my pen pal (or rather e-mail pal) – I noticed that I began to neglect writing to her because of the game. I also read less than before, and I have always loved reading. I am an adult but I am still living with my parents due to unemployment, and my Mum was sometimes worried about me playing too much. I used to play for three or two hours in the late evening, let’s say until midnight but I never pulled an all-nighter playing. It also seemed to me that it is easier to fall asleep after I have been playing, since I was relaxed then. The game helped me to relax, but I also noticed that it caused some eye fatigue, after playing my eyes were itching, it was much more intense after playing that doing something else on the computer, such as watching films or writing e-mails, and it made me decide to quit the game. Also, I spent a lot of time fantasising what I would do next in the game, where I would go with my character, which quests would I accept. I watched a lot of walk-through videos and read the game encyclopedia to find out how to do certain quests – symptoms of being addicted.
Now I wonder if I have not overreacted, but I try to keep these feelings at bay and I have decided never to play the game again, though I already feel I miss it.
Sorry for grammatical and lexical mistakes, English is not my native language; I live in Poland.
Today, it is Independence Day in Poland, and I decided to declare my independence from LotRO 🙂 I hope the choice of a personally significant date will strengthen my resolve.
May I simply just say what a comfort to find somebody that actually understands
what they are talking about over the internet. You definitely know how to bring
an issue to light and make it important. More and more
people need to look at this and understand this side of the story.
I can’t believe you aren’t more popular since you most certainly have the gift.
@ Primuladeepdelver – Thanks for commenting! I love your country! I was in Krakow last year at this time of the year, beautiful place. I think in your situation it’s all about setting some new goals. You say gaming didn’t interfere when you were studying so that’s good, which means when you have a goal you don’t get too caught up in gaming. Now without a job you have a lot of free time and you aren’t sure what to invest your time into. So now the best thing for you to focus on moving forward is what new goals you have that you can start working towards. Maybe that’s a job, or moving out of your house, or something greater. Whatever they are, I’d recommend finding a few to give you more purpose in your life. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story!
@ Ella – Hey! Thanks for commenting! I’m glad you found it comforting. It’s been one of my passions is trying to help shape this conversation in way that moves the process forward instead of talking about it in a way that holds everybody back. Games aren’t bad if they aren’t having a negative impact in your life, but if you do want to quit you should have the resources possible to do it! I appreciate you coming to share your thoughts. 🙂
Hi Cam, after about a year seeing this page, it helped alot, but i still couldn’t quit. I can’t find anything just quite like video games, a sandbox of competitiveness and strategies(those are what i enjoy). Just like in my fav movie ” Inception” said: there’s nothing quite like it”, “It’s the chance to build cathedrals, entire cities, things that never existed. Things that couldn’t exist in the real world.. ” and of course creation is just small fraction of video games. How do i replace it with something real? I tried with poker and now i make a living off it but its not same, not the creation, not the same kind of competitive ( dont get me wrong poker is a deep game, and hard). It will be kind if you can give me some suggestion from your experiences of see so many cases
@ Simba – Thanks for commenting with your update! What I suggest is try to find a few different things. For me, DJing helps with some of the components, but I don’t get my competitive side out with it, so instead I play chess for that. If you’re trying to find ONE activity to replace video games with, you’ll have a hard time, so instead try to find a few different ones you’re passionate about. Also, make sure you’re challenging yourself. With video games you always challenged yourself, took on new missions, but with other activities sometimes we don’t think about that in the same way. So make sure you’re doing that too! And, lastly, sometimes it takes time! Even longer than 1 year. So that’s ok. 🙂
Great advice Cam, man this post has been up for a long time now and you are still be able to continuously reply and helping us out, your the man
@ Simba – Always man! If someone takes the time to share their comment, I feel it important to respond! Can’t believe the post has been up since 2011!! 🙂
My friends still play games but not as much, and their grades are excellent. Do we actually need to completely stop playing games?
@ Nicholas – Thanks for commenting! If games aren’t having a negative impact on your life, then you are free to continue playing them! 🙂
[…] Kingpins article on gaming: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-quit-playing-video-games/ […]
The Grand Finale
Hello @CAM, hello @ALL
This site, CAM, and many others did a great job to bring me on the right track and to not give up. For months now I’m following this article and the comments postet.
It was quite a fight. And an interessting one I have to admit.
I made lots of interesting experiences all awhile. I found out lots of things about myself and my life so far.
But no matter how hard I tryed to follow exactly CAM’s path – in the end I had to find my own. Thanks anyway. It was all worth it.
I have planned the final step to get rid of the video gaming equipment that I could not sell because nobody seemed interested enough to buy it for the cheap prices I wanted to make it find new homes.
I gonna ask my relatives and colleagues at the job. And I give it away for free. I don’t care anymore. Not for one single cent I have spent on this stuff I shall shed a tear.
I gonna end it this year for good. And there is only one month left.
But I know I will never regret this. Now I’m off of video games for several months again and nothing of any interest is left.
I also packed my PS3, it will be given away too.
So next year I gonna buy me a regular Blu-Ray player. The PS3 to be my Blu-Ray player all the time might have worked as the last final chance to keep a console in my house. But it is nonsense. I realised that.
A big part of my life was a hugh virtual adventure. I have seen them all and played quite a lot of it myself.
From the very bad (Atari 2600) to the later stuff (PS3). The bad games, the good games, the artistic, the more realistic. Any genre you can name. I have been there.
But I can tell you it didn’t do me anyhing good. Never.
My best artistic phase I have had when I was constantly listening to power metal. I was drawing some neat pictures. Didn’t play video games much at that time, even no video games at all for several days. And it took my some days to finish just one picture. That was impressive if I may say so. I still have to figure what else has driven me to be so concentrated to draw pictures.
I feel there is something coming back. But I will not push myself until it clicks again.
I also feel other the changes in me as more time without video games passes by.
My senses are sharper. I can judge more realistic. I’m becoming even more open to conversate with totally strange people.
Just had a small conversation with a woman at a news stand this weekend. She was there, literally materialised out of nowhere, asked me something and I did not hesitate to answer as I have been used to since ever.
Yes folks. This is real. Social skills are getting better.
I see and feel that many video game lovers are just shaking their heads in disbelieve. I once did too when I thought that video games are even sharpening my social skills.
But this is wrong. My social skills are improving as I don’t play video games.
Funny though I also had a relapse into my other – hidden – addiction too.
And I’m off of this again too. this also helps me further more to become socially more engaged.
I’m more aggressive too. This means I’m more confrontional. I don’t shy back from any. Open discussions? Call me in.
I also have no mercy. When I’m about the truth you better not coming with half knowledge or something that isn’t true at all. I might rip you apart.
No, no, please. It is not that wild. It is just so I’m more balanced and I speak out more open than before, which in return makes me seem more aggressive in the first place.
Like another contributor here mentioned – Tobias was his name? – I also was somehow hiding myself behind the world of video games because I was either a sucker myself or didn’t find myself to be accepted the way I have been.
And it is really hard to define yourself once you have grown past your thirties.
That old I’m already and I have been waiting for way long to get out of this.
So once again – and I can not stress this enough – thank you everyone here and especially CAM for all the contributions and help.
Trust me in this one, the more you become yourself, the more are other people around you aware of it. It shines through your eyes and eye contact gets a totally new definition for you.
I also gave up on conspiracy theories.
That was just another kind of addiction. I might have ended up in this because I sucked otherwise in real life. I have no better explanation on that one.
But once I stopped to dig into these, I also felt myself changing.
I still don’t simply trust anybody on anything. But I’m more open for listening before judging. It all makes such a difference once you try.
And I give nothing any longer to things that can’t be backed up. Hence conspiracy theories are total crap in my opinion.
So yeah. This month is the Grand Finale in closing the chapter ‘video games and consoles’ for good by giving away the stuff that is still around me, including my last excuse for watching blu-ray – the PS3.
I gonna start into 2015 with a brand new feel for life. I can feel it already and I’m excited about it.
And this time my promiss to go without video games into the new year will be real. Finale.
Feels like I’m about to be reborn.
Greetings from Germany
Michael
P.S. maybe I will hang around here some more and write one or another comment.
But only maybe as I’m about closing this chapter entirely.
And when this book is closed it gets burned.
:_)
@ Michael – Go go go go go! I’m cheering for you brother! Your commitment has been inspiring to so many others including myself. I’m so proud of the journey you’ve made! Conspiracy theories are definitely something to avoid. It puts you in a negative headspace and creates a perspective of the world that I haven’t found to be productive. I’m always cautious around conspiracy theories. I do my best to focus on creating the positive change in the world (and in myself) that I want. My time and energy is too important for me to spend it focusing on negative things out of my control.
Anyways, wish you all the luck! You’ve been invaluable to this discussion and I’m grateful for all of your support. 🙂
So…my husband is seriously addicted to video games (WoW and LoL particularly). This was something I didn’t know about him when we got married (I knew he liked to play, but as he never played when he was around me, I figured it was typical “hey i like to play video games for a bit after work to decompress” not “hey i like to play video games like it’s my 2nd job”). Anyway. We’ve been married going on 4 years now and I’m just to the point I can’t handle it anymore. When he is spending time with me, he’s looking at his watch to see when an hour is up so he can run back to his computer or on his phone facebooking, playing, reading about a game or watching one. He procrastinates so much he disregards chores or things he said he would do/needs to be doing (for his job and as a husband). I’m not a clingy person by nature–in fact I’m very much an introvert. So for it to be bad enough for me to say “I feel lonely”…it’s gotta be pretty bad.
I know I can’t change him. If he was going to quit it will have to be his decision. But is there anything I could be saying or doing to try to trigger the type of realization that would make him see that he ISN’T growing at all and that this is a problem (he’s almost 30, by the way. He is wasting so much of his life and has so much amazing potential)? I hate the life we’re living “together” due to his inability to STOP playing and participate in the real world. I know he loves me…but this addiction is definitely in the way of our relationship/marriage. I don’t want to hurt him or give up but…I also feel like my life is getting stuck too (for instance: 1) I don’t even want to think about having children with the amount of time he spends on games because I’d be the only one taking care of them; 2) We definitely have the means to travel (something he used to like to do–which was one of the things that attracted me to him) but he refuses to go anywhere when he has time off because he wants to sit at home and play/if we do go somewhere he grumbles the whole time. I have a LOT of things I want to do and places I want to see…and I really want to share some of those times with him–it sucks always doing everything big/fulfilling my dreams without my partner). Bottom line: Do you have any advice for me?
Also–amazing article. While I’m definitely NOT a gamer, I identified with what you’re saying. We all have habits/pastimes that need to be weighed in terms of “is this helping me grow/be a better person?”. I’m a firm believer in “life is what you make it”, that our time is limited and precious and we should try hard not to waste it away.
Guess that’s why this situation is so tough for me. It kills me to see him wasting his time like this. :-/
[…] Lack of motivation from video game addiction (learn more). […]
@ Estrella – Hey! Thanks for the comment! You’re certainly not the first wife who has commented with concerns for their husband. Search “husband” on this page and you’ll find many others who are struggling, and the advice I’ve shared with them specifically.
First you need to honor this inside of yourself that it’s reached a point where it’s a very real concern for you. It’s easy sometimes for us to numb that feeling, or pretend it’s not as bad as it is – to self-minimize – but that just causes more hurt. Be true to yourself in this situation, it will help you make decisions and potentially fix it.
Ok, so now, all of the change happens with you first. As you’ve said, and it’s common in these situations, you get caught up in the lack of inspiration as well. So now you’re not really pursuing the things you want to do because you think you have to do them together.
The best thing you can do is start focusing on yourself and getting back to a place where you feel motivated every day. If he doesn’t want to travel, maybe you should go travel on your own. That will do 1 of 2 things: He will either be polarized into wanting to come with you, or he will not care and that’s an important point for you to see.
(But, you are traveling for you and your own purpose and fun first, not so he “wakes up” remember that!)
Now, travel is just one example, but you can start smaller and just start living the type of life you want to in your hometown right now. Although yes it’s nice to have him come with you, you need to get more independent from him first, which will help you think more clearly about it and whether this is a situation you want to continue. It’s about taking your own power back and being an example of the change you want to see. 🙂
Next, after doing this for a period of time, once you’re feeling more confident in yourself, you can have a very open and honest conversation with him about how you’re feeling. This isn’t about putting blame on him, but just sharing openly about how this situation is being experienced on your end and hearing his side. This is about having a real conversation where you both let go of the stories you have and see the situation for what it is. A good book to read is this: Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson.
Lastly, remember from the article that games are fulfilling certain needs he has, so it’s really key for you to understand what those are and see if you can find creative ways to fulfill them instead. My friend Dr. Karim Saleh co-wrote a short guide on the addiction component of games you may find educational. It’s written for a parent->child but you can substitute child for husband. 😉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KZYVLLS
Wish you good luck! Come back and give us an update soon. 🙂 You can also reach out to me personally using the contact form. 🙂
Quitting video games has been the best course of action I have taken in my life so far. I’m 17 and a senior in high school and played videogames from January 2004 to the first day of summer break. I planned for months before school ended to quit playing video games to change my life. It’s not that I quit because my life sucked, it’s because I know I am very smart and wasted many hours of my life playing Mario and pokemon when younger. Games like call of duty, all nba 2k games, and skyrim took up my life and I was just fed up with it. I’ve always gotten almost all A’s or all A’s every quarter with a 4.0 GPA but the desire to withdraw at times stymied me and my potential. The first day of vacation I put away my xbox and cleaned my room. I haven’t looked back since. It’s been nearly 6 months now and my internal quality of life has increased substantially. I feel like if you play video games for the wrong reasons you shouldn’t play in the first place. I wanted to play when I was 7 because I disliked school due to social anxiety. I started playing to be in my own world and it carried on with me even though I outgrew all of my social fears over the years. For many years I played because of habit and not because it was incredibly fun. I used to play call of duty and other games with friends when I was 10 and only did it because others did. I’m on a rant but if your prone to addiction and have an addictive personality or you play video games initially for the wrong reasons, you shouldn’t play them in the first place. In my case, I’m disappointed in myself with all the time wasted when I could have been going outside more and became a genius because I was incredibly smart when I was little. (Not trying to vaunt). But yeah, it was one of the best decisions I have made and I can see why it felt good for others to quit as well. For those considering to quit playing video games, it Is worth it in the long run. Trust me.
@ Timothy – Thanks for commenting! Your comment is one with a lot of insight. I’m very impressed by your intuition and ability to articulate your feelings in a way that truly get the problem without making games inherently “bad”… instead just a way to understand whether they are having a positive impact for you and/or whether you’re even consciously choosing to play or whether they’re just a habit.
Thank you for sharing your story, it will help others!
I’m glad to see that you are still responding to the community in the blog, even after how long this blog has been up. It shows how genuine you are when you talk about the predicament you were in and this hits very close to home. I’m curious though, do you play at all anymore? What have you replaced your gaming addiction with? and how are you doing now? I understand you said you DJ sometimes, but I would like to know how you are doing after such a long time “clean”.
@ Attilla – Hey! Thanks for commenting! The only game I play now is chess. I play 5 min blitz games (so the game can only last max of 10 minutes.) I play it here and there when I need a quick break from work. No more than 30 minutes a day ever.
At first I replaced gaming with going out every night to meet new people. This worked for awhile but it was unhealthy in certain ways too so I balanced out eventually.
Now, I honestly just have a very full schedule of things I’m passionate about so the time I have to “game” just isn’t the same. Before I had 8 hours of free time per day to play (or more), whereas my typical day now is something like:
– Wake up
– Go to a coffee shop and work on my laptop (something I’m very passionate about)
– Exercise
– Hang out with a friend or two
– Sleep
My free time ends up being a hike with a friend, phone calls with people who I don’t live near, other social events, DJing or just relaxing at home if I need it. I just don’t have that much time I’m looking to “waste” anymore. That’s the big difference.
If you haven’t seen my new TEDx talk, it gives a bit of an idea: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsT5eV_m7BA
I spent the last year traveling through 11 countries as well so that was a lot of fun, and again, I wasn’t able to game. 🙂
Fantastic article, Cam. My experience is so much like yours. I found the common advice for dealing with compulsive gaming to be maddeningly insulting. Moderate? Of course that’s the first thing I thought of! It’s the first thing everyone thinks of. If I could moderate my gaming, then it wouldn’t be compulsive, would it? Just do healthier things? If I could just do other things, I’d be doing them!
Games had strong hooks into my brain, largely because of the real-world needs they were artificially filling: stress & pain relief, a sense of accomplishment, challenge, and social needs. Any attempt to stop gaming that did not help meet these needs was going to leave me squirming in withdrawal pains that sooner or later drove me back to the games.
I have managed to stop for two years now, after many previous attempts. What I’m doing right this time is meeting those four needs. Connecting with other people recovering from gaming addiction in meetings of Computer Gaming Addicts Anonymous has been a huge help with my social life, a sense of accomplishment, and stress relief. And those meetings helped me gain the 110% firm commitment you mentioned. My head had been very fuzzy with denial of the problems caused by my gaming. But listening to other people in my situation who were getting brutally honest about all of the losses, problems and pain helped my head pop out of my butt so I could see the reality. Today, I am fully committed to not giving my life over to a compulsive activity that trashes every aspect of my life.
I am very much inspired by your practical positive advice to anyone who reaches out to you. Thanks for all you’ve been doing! I look forward to learning more about GameQuitters.
@Cam,
Thanks for replying–it means a lot that you take time to actually answer people’s questions and respond to their posts.
Your comment was encouraging. I actually took the advice from your article after I wrote that first comment and took 10 minutes to write down what my life would look like if it were the way I wanted it. Some things are on point. A lot aren’t. Also taking your advice about doing one thing per day towards those goals. I know my goals won’t be reached overnight but…I’ve already taken some steps and am starting to feel unstuck. I don’t know how it’s going to go with my husband and his gaming but at least I’m making the changes I need to and feel like my life is coming back to me. Hoping he will see the light and feel a need to get unstuck too. Thanks again! You’re making a difference in people’s lives by encouraging and motivating them and I think that’s awesome. Keep up the good work!
@ Scott – Thanks for commenting! One of my favorite pieces of advice I’ve seen is to give the games to a younger cousin. So what… we’re supposed to fuck him up instead? Geez. Appreciate your story and the work you’re doing. Let me know if I can help in any way.
@ Estrella – Hey! I have a friend who treats cancer patients, but one of the things he does differently is before administering chemo he gets all of his patients into “superhuman” shape. The thinking is, you respond better if you’re in better shape, so start there and then add chemo later vs. starting chemo when you’re weak and only becoming weaker – your body doesn’t have the strength to respond well.
The reason I share this story is I think it applies here too. When the situation isn’t good it’s hard to get clarity on what you really do want in your life. So instead, get yourself back into the best shape (in your life) possible and then you can re-evaluate the situation. You can also see how your husband responds in the meantime but remember you’re doing all of this for yourself and nobody else.
Hope you have a great day!
(Sorry about my English, I’ve been learning it for 5 years. But I still have a very bad grammar and spelling)(A follower from Mongolia)
Hi Cam Thank you! for posting this great article about VGA(Video Game Addiction).This post actually made think of myself and why do I play video games. I was born in a small district in the desert of Umnugobi.(Aimag in Mongolian). I was born and raised pretty far from technology until I was 12.(We only had a black and white television).My Parents left me to go to the city when I was small and after few years they went back to get me so we can live together in the city Ulaanbaatar. I was in culture shock for few months until I met computer. My parents Just bought a new computer for the house and it was one of the greatest thing I’ve ever seen!
Long story Short I ended up playing video games all day untill I got in school. I used to be a minor gamer untill I was in 8th grade.My parents went to back to umnigobi after I graduated my 8th grade.(I’m 17 now)
After that I was home alone,My parents would send me some money in every 3 week and I would pay the rent and buy some grocery.Eventually I started playing VG more then ever since there were no one to stop me.This is my final year in HighSchool and all I’m doing is playing video games.I tried to stop but I couldn’t and now that I have a good PC I can pretty much download and play any game.(I don’t have a console). I play many, many games (DOTA,COD,Battle field 3,4 TF2, Starcraft 1,2 RA 123,C&C 1234, Bordor lands, Minecraft, Dragon age, Terarria,GTA4,5, Amnesia, Tetris, Dark souls1,2 Mass effect 2.3 and the list goes on)I even played Half Life 2 episode 1 and 2 for almost six times after I completed it! Once I was addicted to this indie game called Papers Please.(I play video game at least 7 hours every day and after that you have this shit feeling).
I’ve read your article and there were things that helped me but it’s not enough.I still play them the same.When I’m not playing games I watch videos about playing games when I’m not doing anything that is related to games I’m actually thinking about games when I’m outside,at home,at school,when I’m eating,even in my dreams.My day plan is like this:
1 Wake up 2 Play video games 3 Eat 4 Go to school 5 come home 6 play video games 7 eat 8 play video games 9 sleep.
I know I’m the one who’s playing but I cannot stop.It’s like a drug or something.
I wanted to study abroad after I graduate but from the looks of it I guess I can’t.
I’m losing the battle mate.
Please advise me urgently.
Thank you.
@ Tulga – Hey man! I sent you an email back but the key in your battle is to focus on scheduling your day differently! If you weren’t playing video games what other activities could you do? 🙂
This is the second time I’ve read your article, its amazing! I’ve been having trouble with gaming. About two weeks ago I decided to cold turkey video games, so I gave my mother my xbox just to make sure I couldn’t play video games. The trouble I’ve been mainly having is trying to figure out what to replace the video games with. I’ve been drawing a lot more and reading but that’s not cutting it. Every time I come back home from school my schedule has been a mess. I just sit around doing something random for a lot of hours, I could really use advice on what to do and how to organize myself. Also I have a ton of friends, I hang out with them at school but I don’t hang out with them outside of school. I could really use some advice.
Hi Cam,
I remember there is a post about making time management into a game or making sticking to discipline into a game. I couldn’t find it anymore. Can you locate it for me?
Thanks
Vincent
For those who don’t think gaming could become addiction check out this CAMH site
http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/about_camh/newsroom/news_releases_media_advisories_and_backgrounders/current_year/Pages/CAMH-releases-video-game-parody-to-teach-youth-about-healthy-video-gaming.aspx
Hey cam I’m 16 this year, and I can’t seem to quit dota 2 because of the competitive environment that it contains. There is no serious addiction for me, I wont even crave for it so badly, it’s just that it has become a daily routine for me to play the game. I’ll just on the computer and click on dota. I would play around 1-2 matches and feel regretful afterwards for wasting a heck load of time. I promised myself not to play dota but I reinstalled it afterwards and continued with it. Help is imperative. Any advice dude?
@ Eric – Thanks for commenting! And for coming back again. It’s super cool to hear that the article has continued to work for you over time. That’s the best part for sure about all of these comments – knowing it’s something you are using as a resource. Remember that by you making that conscious decision to do it, you continue to get more value out of your life. Keep doing this in every decision you make in your life. Strive for it. It’s the single thing I’ve done that has worked so well and consistently over these years.
How can you solve your own problem?
Let’s go over it together: You have been drawing and reading but you need more. So, what are you missing?
Let’s think about it. So both activities are stationary and indoors. So what’s missing? Something with movement (exercise) and is outdoors. You need reading and drawing but you also need something outside (or at least out of the house) where you move around. Otherwise you go crazy! And it will also help take up some of your time, so that’s a win!
Exercise and movement will release endorphins in your body, which help improve your mood and lower stress. So, not only are you happier, but the “tension” or “resistance” that you experience trying to quit is less as well. #doublewin
Win more than you lose. That’s the name of the game. And the more you win the more confidence you develop and the easier it is to win.
Next, doing activities is good but you have to add purpose to it. Without purpose you lose motivation, so overtime you also lose willpower. Think of willpower as a fuel tank. It’s meant to be a reserve. It depletes with usage. Purpose is what fuels motivation, and when you have motivation you don’t need willpower. It’s easy, automatic.
We decide what the purpose is of everything we do. It’s our own job to add what this means to us. Nobody else can decide, but it’s key for us to each decide. It’s one of the decisions we need to make. Check out “A Man’s Search For Meaning” by Viktor Frankl. It’s 100 pages and will help you understand purpose a lot more.
To learn how to organize yourself we need to understand what it means in the first place. So organizing yourself is basically being intentional with how you’re spending your time, and you structure it in a way that allows you to know beforehand what you’re going to do.
The reason this is important is because we need to set ourselves up for success. By making a decision about how we’re going to spend our time (being intentional), we can do the various activities/hobbies that will move our goals and dreams forward, instead of leaving it up to chance like most people do.
The reason you want to make the decisions beforehand is to avoid mood-based decision-making. Consider this: If you’re bored and you are trying to think about what you want to spend your time doing, you’re not very motivated. You’re bored. So you want to (no longer be bored), or in other words to have fun, so how high is the temptation to play games? Very high.
Here’s an article I wrote on scheduling your day that will help: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/
Anyways, hope that helps. You can make huge progress and just remember that it’s the critical thinking side that will empower you the most. You can take your own destiny into your hands. You won’t regret it. We’re in this together.
@ Vincent – Thanks for commenting! Above in this comment I linked an article on productivity. I’m not sure if that’s the one. Let me know and if not I’ll look around.
@ Richard – Thanks for commenting! So cool that you’re 16. 🙂 So what you want to see is that games have become your habit, your “go-to” activity. So how can you disrupt this pattern moving forward? What other activity could you do instead? If it’s competitive try rock-climbing or martial arts. Those would both be really good!
Hi guys,
long time no see! I found this page half a year ago and took part in the movement. I’m proud to say that I’ve never played a single game since July. Not even a smartphone game. I’m happy and have no cravings anymore.
From my experience I’d say quitting is definatly a wise choice. Your self worth improves and you’ll have more power during the day.
I’m not perfect, in fact I’m still making mistakes all the time. I still lack discipline and ethics but at least I’m not numbing the pain anymore and can take action to become stronger every day.
By the way, here’s a little trick for you: Get rid of all games you have. Of course new games are available online within seconds. As soon as you feel the sudden urge to download and play a game you must escape the situation immediatly. You could leave the house for a walk, cook something, take a shower, drive to the gym or to a restaurant or make other escape plans to avoid a relapse.
When I first quit I felt shitty 24/7 for maybe two weeks. After that my mood was ok but I had those sudden cravings during the day. When you’re in that place you can use the escape strategy.
Greetings
@ Mitsu – Great to see you again! Especially with such good news! Thanks for sending in your feedback, this will help others a lot and I’m so proud of you for moving on, not because games are good or bad but because you made a commitment to move on from them and then followed through! I hope you take the time to recognize yourself for it.
You really nailed it when you mention numbing and taking action. That’s the secret you are right. Now you’re on the path to moving forward in your life whereas before you were just living to kill time. It’s a game changer! 🙂
I’m so proud of you man, I’ll share your comment on the reddit.com/r/stopgaming thread. Thanks for coming by and helping to give back. It means a lot and makes a difference!
Hey
First of all: Nice article.
Second: This comment thread is actuelly still going 0.o
And the question: Do you think telling some close people (idk family or something) about you wanting to quit and also telling them EXACTLY the way you want to do it is a good idea? Because I think the expectations gave me enough pressure to stay away from gaming and it was also kinda nice having someone to talk to about this (not on the internet (no offense))?
Who wrote this article, captain obvious?
@ Mimij – Thanks for commenting! Yes, the comment thread is still going! Since 2011! How cool is that!?
Yes I think the more you involve other people and help them help you is always a good idea. Just remember to communicate the good and the bad. Sometimes when we let people know we want to quit we open an opportunity for them to give us more advice, which can be a positive, but sometimes this can be annoying, so just make sure if you’re feeling overwhelmed by them that you communicate that too.
@ Fouts – HI! Captain Obvious here! Pleasure to meet you, O Mighty Commentator!
Hello
Nice article Cam , thanks for your effort . Been addicted to Multiplayer games since 2007 . Starting this year i completely stopped online gaming and it was tough but i do play single player games for around 1-1.5 hours daily . Glad my pc is not able to run latest games as the requirements are high and my pc is very old . Maybe this is my urge but what if a continue to play single player games in moderation like i do now ? Life has been much better after quitting online games and being glued to pc screen for 10-12 hours . Thanks once again .
Hey, I agree with most of what you said. But there was no advice on how to focus on increasing the social aspect of your life. You just stated that it was the way to go, without giving avenues of which to travel. Also, your second suggestion of just finding something you like, what if it is hard to find something you like? You said you were getting into djing, how did that work out?
I think I am addicted to league of legends, but only because I have too much free time, and nothing to do with it.
@ Vivek – Thanks for commenting! Congrats on quitting multiplayer! That’s a huge step forward so I hope you’re proud of yourself! Moderation is fine if you’re being honest with yourself about how much you’re playing. The other thing to consider is whether you have other goals you want to accomplish and if you could spend that time working on those instead. You don’t *have* to, but I think with games it’s sometimes easy for us to get into a mode where we are just playing to kill time instead of investing our time in the things we really want in the world. Just food for thought, but moderation is totally fine in this instance! 🙂
@ Tristan – Thanks for commenting and sharing your feedback. I tried to focus the article on the gaming side. Our site has 300+ articles, many of which involve how to improve the social life of your life.
Here’s an article for you that I wrote on developing passion in something new you start: http://www.thefeelgoodlifestyle.com/developyourpassion.html
DJing for me worked out well, but when it comes to hobbies/activities, it’s a combination of many different aspects that help. So for me it’s been a combination of DJing, making new friends, starting a business online, traveling, etc. Here’s a TEDx talk I gave where I shared more of my story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsT5eV_m7BA
When you have a lot of free time, you have the opportunity to fill it. Try using a calendar which I’ve found makes the process easier: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/
Also join us on http://reddit.com/r/stopgaming, the community is very supportive!
Excellent article. I’m from the CIS. Unfortunately I do not know English. Suffer from video games. In RU-NET no normal tips to overcome gaming addiction. So I thought to visit foreign sources. I came across your video to this article. Unfortunately I can not read all the comments. Could you advise me a replacement for games? I want to throw this energy to education, namely training in the natural sciences. But I have not possibility to create a social group. I apologize for any errors or omissions.
PS This Problem has a terrible scale in CIS. May I translate this article for one of the Russian sites to combat gaming? And it would be nice if you had finished writing tips given in the comments to the main article.
Good article. It is exactly the same process I used to quit smoking over twenty years ago. I want to share with you that I have come across another motivation for gaming as you have discussed it (as an addiction) and it involves what our culture expects or does not expect of today’s young men. I have written a book on the history of male purpose where I discuss the lower cultural expectations placed on young men today. No longer are young men in the West expected to be the sole bread-winner or for that matter, they probably do not expect that their home is “their castle” as was more common fifty years ago. Young men do not know what is expected of them so they have no motivation to pursue big commitments like a career or school. I believe time will tell if a new cultural expectation will emerge and help motivate these trapped young men. (and probably women too).
Hi, I recently decided to post back on here after making my first post about my addiction to gaming, my original post was some what over 2 years ago almost I believe and I remember posting about how stressed I was going into my final years of highschool becuase I knew I had a gaming problem. I have come back to just do a quick recap on what I have be able to achieve after making that first post about quitting gaming forever. I first posted thinking I can quit forever I just need to find something else to do! The problem was finding that something else, I did try a numerous amount of times to completely cut it out but in reality what I learnt in the 2 years after posting about my addiction was that I was just bored and gaming was something to cut time and relax on. The way that I finally realised that gaming wasn’t everything in my life was when I went away for a week roughly 2 months or so after making my first post. That 1 week I didn’t have a computer at all I was practically outside with my best friends going out partying and having a great time every day. Once comming back from the 1 week vacation I noticed my boredo
Of gaming grew when I would try to play for longer then an hour or so. I then started filling up all that extra time i has by getting a part time job studying for my final exams and going to the gym.
A quick summary of what I learnt is that I can still have time for gaming in moderation when I feel like having nothing better to do. But what I failed to realise at the start that I was just to lazy to try and do different things in life (alternatives to gaming)
The first step for me to stopping my addiction was getting away from it by doing different alternative things, It took some time to find what I enjoyed as an alternative to hard core gaming and that something I believe everyone can find they just need to get out there and try.
I myself didn’t quit gaming completely many of my friends sti casually play games and so do I only when we are bored. I feel like gaming has become apart of this generation it’s everywhere you just need to leArn to control it and do it in moderation!
ThAnks for reading this goodbye and goodluck every1 else trying to stop or moderate gaming you just need to find alternatives to gaming and the best place to find that is outside in the real world!
@ Kaisar – Thanks for commenting! I’m really happy you enjoyed the article. I’d love for you to translate the article. We can work together on it. Can you email me? cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com – We can fill in any gaps w/ additions from the comments as well. Here is a list of 60 hobby ideas to replace gaming: ***
@ Rod – Thanks for commenting! I do believe in the notion that the problem with video game addiction is a manifestation of issues teenage boys are going through. Although I have seen the video game addiction problem in many women (all ages), and think the cause has a lot to do with the ease and desire to “check out” from ourselves.
@ Adam – Heya! Thanks for coming by and sharing your update. This is the best part for me! I definitely agree with the lessons you’ve learned. I understand it can be difficult at first to find new activities, but what you’ve seen is that by taking a step away (in a way that is easy, like a vacation where you don’t have games…) you gain a new perspective. I also think a major reason why we play so many games is to “kill time” or because we “have nothing better to do”… and in my opinion, that’s a great example of the type of mindset we should be careful of in our lives. That isn’t to say we can’t have free time to relax and do nothing, it’s more the perspective that is important. Life can be so much fun when we CHECK IN and focus on creating the type of impact… and the type of lifestyle we truly want. This is a sense of purpose that I have found supersedes any desire for me at least to game. 🙂 Proud of you man, thanks for coming back to share.
Hi Cam i am 14, i play video games quite a lot however i play the trombone and piano, i play cricket football and rugby and my studies are going fine . I have noticed that I was spending hours after matches playing gta or fifa with my friends and then i realised that i wasn’t doing so well in my lessons after all. The problem was that all my friends play video games and was so hard to stop because my friends would just say to me just finish this, just finish this. So I decided that I needed to stop. But I found it so hard to completely stop as I was by myself. So eventually I decided to play in moderation, so I can still socialise but keep it to three hours a week. And slowely things have got better for me
@ Michael – Thanks for commenting! So cool that you are 14! I definitely relate to the problem you experienced finding friends. It’s a tough problem as a 14 year old. Have you been able to make any new friends in new activities? That’s one of the things that can help a lot: join a martial arts class, a rock-climbing gym, yoga… something where you can make some new friends in an environment where you feel more comfortable. Playing in moderation is ok if it’s not having a negative impact on your life. 🙂 Appreciate you sharing your feedback, it will inspire others.
Hey Cam, my name is Dee, I recently quit playing WoW, I played for 5 years, 2 of those in an active raiding guild, the other 3 just casual. I am doing great because now i have that much more time to pursue my other passions rather than being passionate about WoW.
My biggest concern, I really don’t know what to do about it, is my 27 year old son who lives with me, has no job, no money, well he was just given $13k but he doesn’t seem to have an interest in stopping his gaming addiction, refuses to call it an addiction. He plays WoW, Battlefield 4, DayZ and many other Steam games. I am not willing to kick him out of the house and make him homeless, but eventually his money will run out and he’ll be an unemployed 27 year old living/mooching off his mother. I have no idea how to approach this with him because the second I say “lets talk” he shuts down.
I feel like I am partially to blame for this because I enabled him, but he is also 27 years old and responsible for his own choices.
Do you have any ideas where or how I might start to help him or steer him in the right direction because he’s lived in virtual reality for so long, he’s not social either, that I am afraid that he doesn’t know what real life really is.
Much obliged!
Dee
This is an example of why I play the games. Every time I use the internet for anything else, especially to read interesting articles that I think this may have been – I can’t really say though because it started to do all kinds of weird jumping about so it prevented me from reading it and get so angry and frustrated at it, and defeats the objective of relaxing into a nice article. Even though games do this too, it’s not so bad and ultimately I do feel a little relaxed after the nightmare referred to as the daily job.
Hi Cam:
I think it has been several years since I found your site. Every once in a while I come back, mostly to remind myself that the reasons why I play games are not nonsense, and that quieting can be difficult because of the compelling reasons to keep playing. I think it was how you put it, in other words the four rewards/draws that keep video game addicts playing. When I read your reasons why people game, something definitely clicked with the first three, escape, constant growth, and challenge. However I would give myself a pass because I was only weekly hooked on the social part. I think this is what kept things a somewhat in balance, limiting my involvement to about half of what it would have been (every waking hour). I told myself that this kept gaming as maybe a crutch, but not a true problem. But gaming and computer use are a true problem for me, and in the way of what I realy want to do. I don’t want to look back and remember the next decade as the one I spent on the computer. Thank you for pointing out what should have been obvious, and speaking form the point of view of someone who has been down this road and looking at it from that prospective, and realizing what makes this addiction is more then just a messed up person who needs help, and does it for no good reason. All four of your criteria for using video games are normal healthy things that all people look for, except with video games they get applied to something that takes over in a bad way, and does not give much back.
Jon
Hi Cam:
Thank you for the article, was very helpful. I have a son who is addicted to the games, and I am very concerned about it because he does not want to do anything just play to the stream that he spends all night playing without sleep. Sometime, I got upset with him, but today I was so sad about my son’s situation then I decided to find information in Google. Fortunately, I found your article which was very helpful because after I finish to read, my son came to talk to me about his situation with the games then I took the opportunity to explain him in a very sweet way…(with love) your suggestions to stop to playing is the best way to brake the habit….he agree with me .He is going to take away everything from his room. Thank you so much Cam.
My bless to you and your family
But you need to think about the positives gaming does. It helps you learn more, it helps you make quick decisions under a lot of pressure.
Hello Cam. I read your article.. And I like your approach to this. But it doesn’t and some my addiction. I’m a csgo player right now, have been playing games my whole life. I can be a f**ing game critic for how much experience I have playing them all.. And I realy mean. All. I’m 23 years old, and I try to fight my urge to play games all the time. You see, as far as competition and online gaming, this is what makes me get hooked. And it did ever since I played my first cs 1.3 game when I was a kid.
I know what I want in my life.. But the games and steam ruin that for me. The irony of it all.. Is I want to be a game developer. I have knowledge, but I’m not a professional. I learn computer science, and my grades are just OK, and they could have been a lot better if I had really done Any homework aside from comming to class. I’m writing this just after a game of csgo I had.. And I deleted csgo and steam after that. And I’m quite sure I’ll get home running to download and install then again. Same thing every day.. I am really depressed.. Even with my friends.. They always call me to hang out and I lie and say I do homework, which I don’t.
I always say I wish I could be bad at this game.. But I’m not, I’m good and that’s why I’m addicted.. To that feeling of adrenaline when I get my team to win.. So pathetic I know.. But this ruining my life. Even the projects I had..every time I bumped into a problem I ran out to csgo or any other game to “calm myself down” and “try again later”.
I like games. I really do. And I don’t want to quit playing them, because they are a part of what I want to do in my life, but I want to just make it a part.. And I’m not strong enough to do it. To moderate myself. And make priorities.. But I can’t..
Any help would be appreciated. Thank you (and sorry for my bad grammer).
@ Dee – Thanks for commenting! Congrats on quitting recently! 🙂 That’s a big move! I definitely relate to the issue you’re speaking of with your son, as I’ve seen this problem with many other parents.
One of the keys is that you’ve been one of his role models, so although you are now in a position where you have come to terms with your gaming, you need to give him space to do the same. The key will be for you to continue to and/or start to live a much more inspired life that will be an example of him of what’s possible outside of gaming.
Now, one of the advantages you have as a parent who understands gaming is that you can help build a positive relationship with him through gaming. By that I mean, most parents don’t understand gaming so their kids just check out, but you understand it, the lingo, etc, so you can build a better relationship with him even while he’s gaming. That’s the key, the relationship you guys have. I’d suggest focusing on things outside of gaming for now to rebuild that trust while you also get yourself more focused on things outside of gaming. Then, he will see you as a different example and you guys will have a relationship built on trust, and that can help bring him out of it.
Are there any activities you two could do together? I’d recommend trying to get out of the house whenever possible, without being passive aggressive because when you are out of the house it’s much easier to have these conversations, whereas at home he’s just thinking about gaming.
I would recommend things like hiking where it’s a focused activity, outdoors with exercise and it will help him re-calibrate to the “real” world.
BTW, email me privately and I’d be happy to chat with you more about your options. cameron@kingpinlifestyle.com
@ Cristalexi – Thanks for commenting! I’m pretty confused about your comment so feel free to elaborate if you want.
@ Jon Leichty – Thanks for commenting! So cool to have you come back and join us after a few years. That’s one of the coolest parts about this article is it’s apparent timelessness over the years. Very cool!
You’ve hit on one of the main points I’ve tried to get across over the years. It’s not that gaming is good or bad, and in my personal experience, it just came down to having different goals in my life. I love gaming and look back on those times fondly, but I just came to a point where I realized I actually DID want to do something else with my life. It’s cool to hear you’ve come to the same conclusion. 🙂
Best of luck and I hope to hear an update from you again.
@ Carmen – Thanks for commenting! I’m happy to hear you found the article helpful as a parent. I do speak with parents often and hope to do more writing specifically to help you in the future.
The main correlation I have seen between those with a healthy relationship with gaming and those who don’t is a healthy relationship with their parents. As a parent you need to focus on having a trusting relationship first before you can encourage your son/daughter to approach gaming differently. Always focus on this first. Let me know if I can help in any other way!
Also, we wrote a handbook for parents that you may find helpful. You can get it here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KZYVLLS
@ Dray – Thanks for commenting. For me this isn’t about whether gaming is good or bad (whether there are positives or negatives) and my concern is helping those who WANT to quit. Gaming can have positives for sure, just like it can have negatives. The key is to understand which impact gaming is having for you.
@ Yevgeni – Thanks for commenting! I definitely relate to the problem you’re experiencing. For me, becoming a game developer can be a great path and one of my friends told me how when he made gaming more of his career he didn’t want to play as much because he spent so much time with games otherwise. So that’s one thing to consider.
For me, when my gaming was at its worse I needed to take a real break of moderation (90 day detox) before I could consider going back to gaming in more moderation. The thing is, you’re playing games for specific reasons so in order to moderate your time, you need to solve the root issue first, which has to do with the points I spoke of in the article.
Try it out, you CAN do it and if it’s hard, that only reinforces how important it is for you to stop for a period of time. Trust me, it will be worth it!
Check out http://reddit.com/r/stopgaming for other people who are quitting too!
thank you very much. i think you are right about cutting out games from my life might just help me get over them.
I’ll try my best.. didn’t ever think it has so much control over me. sort of a drug-addict I’d say.. even now, im trying to talk myself out of downloading my games back.. FML.
@ Yevgeni – Ya exactly. It won’t be easy at first but that doesn’t mean it’s any less important. Schedule your day and try to stay out of the house as much as possible. Know what other activities you have that you can do instead of play games. All of these things will help you stay away from them. 🙂
Hi Cam. I really did like your post. I am 14 yrs old boy, and i have a really bad gaming addiction. I play this game called Firefall, and i think its a good game, but i play it way too often. Today i played for 6 hours non stop. I should stop, because i only have a few friends and i never go out with them. I have tried hitting on a girl, and it went kinda good but then she just said that shes not interested. My dream is to become a Dj like you too. I like producing my own music, but gaming usually goes over my music making, and thats really dumb. I really wish i had a bigger social life. Firefall is an FPS MMO openworld PvP and PvE game, witch makes it a really addicting game, with 16 different classes you can level up. Gaming is taking over my life and i cant control it easily anymore.
@ Yoxi – Thanks for commenting man! So cool to hear you are 14! For you it’s just about shifting your priorities. What goals do you really have? Maybe set a few for DJing or producing, turn it into a project, a mission. Maybe start learning another instrument too. And then find an activity that’s outside the house, to help you not be so tempted all the time and if it’s a group activity, even better because you can make new friends that way. You can do it, believe me! 🙂
Hi again !
This time I´m here to say that I failed and played games for two weeks. I had a Christmas vacations and one day my good friend came by and offered to play one RTS game and then I just said yes even if I knew that I shouldn’t do it. Well after I been gaming since then for two weeks. Now I feel temptation to play games again even I know that it’s wrong way to go. Ability that game provides to move the units and try different tactics while being in a fantasy world for part of me looks so fascinating. I think problem is now that I don’t really have more goals in my real life. Everything just looks so gray, pointless.. I guess I just have to wait until this strange state will pass by and find some meaning in my life create new goals. I will do my best to never come back to gaming. This site is great inspiration to not give up. Thank you all of you for that !
All the Best !
Tobias
Cam, really enjoyed reading your article. You’ve provided great insight and furthermore inspired me to take a definite action step in quitting myself.
I’ve been wrestling with quitting cold turkey for quite some time, having uninstalled then re-installed games various times but never seeming able to keep myself away altogether. It’s such a guilty pleasure for me.. I’m conscious of the fact that I’m wasting my time playing when I could be developing some other skill or passion but the nature of the game as you describe it above just continues to suck me back in. I’ve been very close to quitting multiple times but the almost absurd pattern of the timing of releases of DLCs or expansions has kept me coming back for more.
A few years back a friend of mine turned me on to TEDx talks. Lots of great information there.. Adds a lot to your credibility in my book knowing that they’ve reached out to you to give talks with them, so props to you on that. Keep up the good work following your dreams and inspiring others to lead more productive lives.
@ Tobias – Thanks for commenting! Don’t worry about playing games for two weeks. Although it’s not ideal it’s not that big of a deal. What’s important is that you recognized it and didn’t let it become a bigger problem! And you can also learn from why this happened. So, you feel like you need more goals in your life. You don’t need to wait for this to magically happen! You can find these yourself now. What do you really want your life to look like? Start journaling about that and you’ll start coming up with goals to go after.
Your vision is your compass. It shows you where to go. Without vision you have no direction, so of course you want to play games then. You have nothing else to do! The key is to have other things to do, but this happens by you coming up with it yourself, not the other way around. Keep me posted on your progress!
@ Matt – Thanks for commenting! I’m happy to hear you enjoyed the article. 🙂 Speaking at TEDx is just an example of what you can truly accomplish in your life if you make a commitment to move forward towards it. I enjoyed my time playing games but eventually I just came to realize I had different priorities in life that were more important to me than continuing to play games. It’s been a fun ride ever since!
Appreciate you taking the time to leave your comment. Means a lot. 🙂
Thank you Cam for commenting back and giving me good advice.It means much for me. I think you are right. I started to play games again because I didn’t see what else I can do. I will definitely give some time for writing down about my goals. It is indeed good idea. What you wrote to me just resemble one Seneca quote : ,,If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable ´´. My goal now is clear. Firstly to find in wich port I want to to sail.
Wish you all the best !
Tobias
@ Tobias – No problem! Happy to help. 🙂 I’m a big fan of Seneca. In my latest TEDx talk when I mention I was reading a book… it was Letters of a Stoic by Seneca! The video is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsT5eV_m7BA
Keep me updated on your journey! Good luck 🙂
[…] you want more information on how you can quit playing video games check out Cam Adair’s post at kingpinlifestyle.com and listen to his interview with Mike at Danger & […]
Cam,
I really enjoyed your article and I’m really glad you addressed the problem of the unwilling addict with something other than the normal “just don’t do it” crap. However I do have a few questions. I’m currently an avid gamer myself but I don’t see it as adversely affecting my behavior.
I’m wondering, following your method, what is to stop the addict from trading one addiction for another? Because someone is an addict, it implies that there is an issue: lost time with friends, social recluse, doing poorly at work. This is because I’m addicted to gaming and the 4 elements that you mentioned. Let’ say I found another activity that is an escape with measurable growth and is challenging and social. What is to stop me from going to another activity that sucks out all my time/resources?
Another question, you said that gaming is a social activity. In moderation, wouldn’t this be a good thing? A couple of friends and I have a DnD session each week. It is nice to relax and just talk with people. My GF and I have a guild on a game called Wakfu, we meet new people (whom I realize, since we never will meet them, can be considered nothing but sentient NPCs) and it is something to do on a rough day, like watching a movie. If it is something you enjoy, what is the difference between being an avid gamer and a guitar junkie? Both are doing things they enjoy, both have the potential to be done at a competitive level, both can be social or reclusive, both can actually make you a living; does playing a guitar really better you more than playing Portal? Is killing Kerafyrm any less memorable than putting on a great show in a band appearance?
I’m sorry if these questions appear direct; it’s the devils advocate in me. But honestly, you have posted this 3~4 years ago and it is still getting positive reviews. Great job.
Hi CAM! Thanks for the article. I am 18 years old and I am addicted to CSGO and other games when I get bored from CSGO. Addiction started when my basketball team split up and eventually disappeared now I don’t study and play games instead. I mean I have laptop and the games are in there, but I also need it when I actually do some studys. You mentioned that we shouldn’t touch the game provider devices at all. But what in this case. Would deleting all the games help? Actually all of my classmates and friends play games I have no idea what to do instead of playing games. School feels so pointless saying the quote in my head over and over… where will I need this in life. I have tried to make like educational fact papers in general so I could stick them to my wall and get smarter instead of playing video games, but it is so hard. I want to quit, but it’s like pain in the ass it draws me to double click the game every time I turn PC on. My family hates me for playing the video games and I have recieved texts like ”Why did you come here better go and play your video games.” or ”Why do you even live you are not worth anything you just exist in your virtual life”. It’s more and more. So I just accepted the fact that I am addicted and stupid. I don’t feel anything I just recieve the negativity holding it deep inside me. I continued playing with the fact that I will die anyway. My parents are divorced and lets just say there are problems with that aswell. Game is an escape from doing anything. I mean I am not overweight I am just extremely lazy. I am actually surprised that I am writing this text instead of playing one competetive match in CSGO. My priority is csgo then studys and by studies I mean no studies at all. I had very good results in school, but now I don’t even care I reject to write test I leave it blank and give it to teacher recieving mark one. That happened to me first time today and that is when I understood I am in deep shit. I am not going to get in university I will work in McDonalds and live miserable life. I have been thinking about suicide for many times, but I am just too scared to do it. I gotta admit I think about it too much because I have no hobbys no targets in future and I have no idea where I would like to work in future. I wasted 3 years of my life just by playing games. Maybe I exaggerate, but games took over my life. I have no life and if you don’t have life you don’t exist. If you don’t exist you don’t try. If your environment around you is uncomfortable you surrender fighting it to be comfortable. Steam is a deathtrap it sucks you in and you can’t get out. Please help me to change with your advice.
With respect Addicted
@ Z – Thanks for commenting! I’m really happy to hear you enjoyed it.
To answer your questions:
– One of the key distinctions when it comes to addiction (and the one I lean on the most when it comes to gaming) is about the negative impact it has on your life. So, although people play games for the reasons I’ve listed (and when combined, addiction is a risk)… the difference is that the reasons you play are simply unmet needs, so it’s not bad to want to fulfill these needs, and instead it’s merely the manner in which you decide to fulfill them that is important.
And this is also why some are able to game and it doesn’t become a problem… whereas others it does, such as in my situation where I pretended to have jobs or dropped out of school to game more.
To share more of my story, when I first quit playing games I essentially replaced it with going out. I wanted to learn social skills so I went out every single night (7 days a week) for almost 3 years. Now, throughout that time it wasn’t always healthy (I was doing it sober, but still..) nor was it always in balance, but it did bring a lot more positive experiences to my life and I learned more about who I was and what I wanted for my life without causing me to check out as I did with video games.
Over time I stopped going out so much (balance) and discovered more about what my passions were (DJing). When I was DJing it fulfilled all the same areas as video games, but it brought immense fulfillment to my life, enhanced my daily experience and was something that didn’t consume me and cause all the negative aspects that I did when I was gaming.
I guess mostly this is a process, and at first for sure there can be a situation where you replace it with something and it’s really no different, but I find taking those positive steps forward tend to work out well.
AND most importantly, if gaming is having a negative impact, it should be removed for at least a period of 90 days, regardless of whether other activities are known yet or not. Think of it as a “better than” solution.
When it comes to your second question, this is where I try to make a clear distinction between my opinion on gaming and others. (Also, shoutout to everyone in the comments who has helped me shape this opinion over the years.)
To answer your question, I’m not against gaming, especially in moderation. I have friends who are similar to you who play with friends once a week or whatever and it’s a celebration and meaningful experience in their lives. All of that is all good in my opinion.
When it comes to moderation, the only thing I try to share is that only we know individually whether we’re being honest about it or not. Especially when we’re caught up in gaming and don’t have many other activities going on, it’s easy to justify gaming more as a positive, when it may not be so. Not that it can’t be (as I’ve said above), but it’s important we all take an honest look at it.
The reason I don’t talk about moderation in the article itself is because that can hurt someone’s ability to recover who needs to quit and do it cold turkey. It’s like telling an alcoholic in rehab that they can drink again some time. Sure it can be true, but that’s likely to accelerate the point where they justify drinking causing them to relapse before it’s safe compared to allowing them to come to their own conclusion over a relative point in time. I know this because I have personal experience with a friend who went to rehab and was told he could drink again at some point, and he relapsed 3 weeks later.
So if someone wants to play in moderation, they’ll come to that conclusion and/or reach out (as you have) to ask a question. But in the mean time those who *need* help to quit because it’s having a negative impact on their life will hear that they need to quit and do it cold turkey.
I’ve thought about editing the article (I’ve only done once to take out a bunch of swearing after complaints…) but I’ve restrained myself from editing anything else because the article has had such a significant impact and I don’t want to mess with it. Soon I will be launching a YouTube channel and website specifically for other questions like moderation, etc.
Anyways, appreciate your questions and comments. Happy to hear gaming is a positive in your life. 🙂
I have almost the same problem as @Addicted suicide I think is one of the symptoms for addiction when it is too hard to stop and you think you can’t change. You can I had that stupid idea aswell, but now I look at is as a joke. It is not a big problem just try to delete those games and you will see the difference. Not to mention don’t reinstall it!
@ Brandon – Thanks for commenting and sharing your experience. One thing I’ve learned is that when I’ve had suicidal thoughts it’s been a trigger from anxiety. So when I was feeling anxious they would come. The solution for me has been to figure out what I’m feeling anxious about and then to solve that. 🙂 Happy to hear you’re doing better.
Hey Cam, your article almost completely summarized my video game addiction. My parents really hate it when I play video games and I basically become a whole different person like you mentioned. I always tried to sneak to play COD or any type of game i can get my hands on even though i knew I would eventually get caught. Right now I was caught and I just decided to read this article. Bro this article is literally awesome! Your plan of quitting games for good I think will start putting me on the right path. That mindset, its like I feel that this is the right decision i should make unlike studying more or any of those obvious answers Wikihow provides. A BIG Thank You, this actually might change my life.
Hi. I’m impressed by your talk Cam you shared. It’s so meaningful. I admire that you are brave to share your story and that you want to help others ! The talk remembered to me that I have power to change my live towards how I want it to be.
I set goals and trying to accomplish them. They are simple ones as getting a job and finding new friends. But what I struggle with is finding a big goal.A goal that would drive me to wake up early and put my heart seeking for it. I think what I really would like to do is to improve the quality of my and other lives. To create and spread happiness in this planet, but I feel very limited. I´am afraid that I´m too limited to achieve that.This thought seems to be very utopian, unrealistic. Either way I know that to be able to spread good I have to first order my own life and make it balanced.
All the best !
Tobias
@ Justin – Thanks for commenting! I’m so happy to hear you resonated with the message. It really does blow me away how many people relate to it. That means a lot to me. The process does work! Just read through the comments and you’ll find success story after success story. That doesn’t mean it will be easy but it does mean it’s worth it! Let me know if I can help. 🙂
@ Tobias – Hey! I’m really happy you enjoyed the talk! Most people don’t accomplish the goals they have because their goals aren’t big enough. Their goals are boring! Sure finding a job is great but what kind of job do you want to have? Maybe you want to be your own boss instead of working for someone else? Now that’s a bigger goal! It’s about getting really clear on what goals you would go after if you could. Just keep journaling about things that inspire you. For me traveling is something I love and there’s certain countries I really want to go to. I also want to speak different languages like French and Spanish, etc. 🙂
Hi,
Thank you a lot ! You helping me much. Indeed you are giving me great Ideas. I will post my progress after some time. 🙂
Wishes !
Tobias
This article describes much, but i seem to be missing something: Why should i stop playing video games? I can thank video games for so much; I met my friends there, I met a girl that seems to like me, I enjoy playing and people actually treat me with respect. Isn’t that enough reasons to actually PLAY video games? I don’t care if I’m addicted if i can thank video games for the life I’m having right now.
(See this as critique. I do not wanna see any answers like “Then don’t listen to what I’m saying” as that would just prove that you are not as devoted as i thought you were)
@ Mattias – Thanks for coming by and commenting! I appreciate you sharing your story. So, when it comes to whether you should play or not, it really simply comes down to whether it’s having a negative impact on your life or not. From wikipedia: “Addiction is a state characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences.”
What I’ve shared here, in the comments and everywhere else I can is that it’s not about gaming being good or bad. It’s about being aware of whether or not it’s having a positive or negative impact on your life. In my situation, gaming was “fun” but it wasn’t the games that was fun… it was the community, the stimulation, etc. But, gaming also caused me to drop out of high school, pretend to have jobs… etc. So when I fulfilled those needs in other ways, I found my interest in gaming decreased dramatically.
Hope that helps. I also don’t appreciate you questioning my devotion. I’ve been answering comments on this article since 2011 for no reason other than to share and help others. 😉
Hi Cam,thanks for helping everyone in this article!,videogames was present as a constant activity since i was 6 years old,i will be short on this and say that my school life before high school was horrible,and i played nonstop for as much time as possible.
Lately(6 days ago) i decided to quit videogames at last,i learned that i was getting nowhere and everytime i stopped playing i started to feel a lot of remorse because i knew my time was wasted and i haven’t done anything productive,and amazingly after i made a band and started to work on my guitar skills my desire to play was gone,just like you said!,and after reading this it all made sense to me now :D,from now on i will not waste my time anymore on videogames,after 12 years playing the time has come!
thank you a lot Cam for helping me and guiding me for a much happier and fun life!!
(my language is not english so sorry if it is confusing 🙁 )
Hi Cam, me again. This time however i come with an apology. It wasn’t fair of me to jump right to conclusions, and i deeply regret questioning your devotion. If you weren’t devoted, you wouldn’t have wrote this article in the first place. I tend to space out and become this whole other person when i feel confronted, and honestly, i think i feel confronted because much of what you write about fits my lifestyle. This really is a great article, and what you do to help others is really great. I wanna be like that to, and i really hope that you can accept my apology, because im writing from the bottom of my heart.
Cam, i need you’re help. I’m 15 and I’m WAY too addicted to video games. I don’t play seriously or anything but from sunrise to sunset I’m playing Xbox or recently, playing on my computer. My parents don’t want me playing as much but I’ve got nothing else to do. My only social life is when I’m at school, where i hardly talk to anyone except some friends who always have something interesting to talk about but i never do. I really want to get a job but i live in a very small town and it’s hard to find a job. What i think will happen when I turn 16 is that i’ll get a car and just drive around and begin my social life. But i forget to ask myself, where’s all the money coming from to pay for it all” when ll i do is play Xbox?” Can you help me?
Hi Cam,
I need your advice.I was thinking what to do on weekends and I came up with Ideas to play a card game Hearthstone or chess on weekends for an hour. I know that Hearthstone is still video game. Do you think that I should avoid playing it because it would just cause me to will play more other games ?
Wishes,
Tobias
Hi cam. I really dont know what to do with my life. I play League of Legend just as much as you did with CS or WOW. I know its ruining my life. I missed 3 final tests because I played it late at night. i cant control my self. I know its bad but i just cant stop it. And now i dont know what to do with college. i missed so many tests. My social life is suck. What make it suck is i think i dont need many friend as long as i have a true friend and now i think i need to make some more friends. I want to uninstall the game but somehow i feel like i cant. And is it ok if i play some iphone game for 1 hour or less a day? or should i get away from gaming completely? Hope you would give me some advice.
Hey guys! Thanks for all your comments. I’ve begun to answer them using video responses on youtube. You can see all of my videos here: http://goo.gl/7C46K6
If you have a question or comment to make, I’d love to hear from each of you and I will try and answer it as quickly as possible! I’m also working on writing a book on this topic so subscribe on http://gamequitters.com to stay up to date on everything.
@ Gabriel – Thanks for commenting! Great job with your English! I can only imagine how difficult it would be to learn a new language so you’ve done a great job. It’s also really cool to hear you’re experience starting a band and how that helped you move on. Let me know if I can help in any way 🙂
@ Mattias – No problem man, I appreciate the apology. 🙂 I hope you’re having a fantastic day!
@ Colten – Thanks for commenting! The key is to learn other things to do! You need to find new activities that will help you fulfill your time away from gaming instead of just being bored at home. Do you have any clubs at school you could join? This will help you make more friends. Everybody has different circumstances but a job would be a great thing for you because it’s structured and helps you not have so much free time, and you get to earn money that can go to amazing things like traveling, etc.
@ Tobias – Hey! I replied with a youtube video! Check it out here: http://youtu.be/f98t6OVjsiE
@ Ken – Hey! Thanks for commenting. 🙂 I would recommend getting away from gaming for 90 days to detox and then re-evaluate. Right now your desire to play games 1 hour per day is coming from your anxiety of giving up games, so it’s good to go off games for 90 days completely and then re-evaluate. During this time you can learn about new activities to do and how to make new friends. Are there any clubs at your university you could join? That’s always a good start!
Hello Cam and all,
Its 11:30pm I am 140 days computer game free and still have the feelings of boredom from not playing games. My story is pretty similar to most of the others. Played for years on and off, was really good at it the game/s i played, escaped from life pains ( i have a chronic stomach issue). I am into RL about as much as one could be. I get up early and train hard in exercise, I have a growing successful business, healthy intimate relationship of 2 years and quality friends, watch movies, travel, camp in the bush, play golf a lot, have dreams and goals, etc etc yet it still doesn’t seem to quench the thirst and thrill I had from playing the games I loved. Like most of you folk I am all or nothing. So when I was gaming I was awesome but life went downhill fast. When I haven’t gamed in the past life has improved rapidly. I am not sure why I am writing here. I just felt like sharing my story. My current goal is to make it to 365 days game free. The most I have made in the past is 6 months. I even talk with an awesome psych once a month which has helped a lot. But the beast still remains, lurking, waiting to pounce….. Ideas???
@ Mat – Thanks for commenting and sharing your story! I think to some degree that feeling is always there a bit. I still think about gaming here and there, just like I think of my ex-girlfriends here and there. It’s just a natural part of the nostalgia in life. I would focus on adding some more meditation into the mix.
Otherwise it’s awesome to hear how things have transformed for you. This is huge! 🙂
Cheers Cam, its awesome that you get back to peoples comments. I meditate around 3 times a week atm. Might need to bump it up to each day. At the end of the day, its just easier to sit down and play computer games in a world that has silly rules and unfair demands of our time and effort, its harder to create a life of your dreams. I choose the harder of the two each day now. I hope this gives people some extra insight into how committed they need to be to make a permanent change and stick to it. Got up early, did a 5 km run in the rain. Would have rather been playing games. What will you all do today?
@ Mat – That’s awesome to hear you’re meditating a few times each week. A question worth considering is how can you approach living a life of your dreams with more ease. It doesn’t *have* to be harder..
But, you are right, the commitment level to quit video games and really take things to the next level is much higher than sometimes people consider. But it can also be a lot more fun too!
Cheers Cam, I’ll do some reflection on the ease and grace of daily living. Yesterday was a toughy. Managed to get to day 142. Lifes pretty tough for me day to day with the stomach pain so I do my best to make things fun but its not easy. I have been trying to fix it for about 10 years so its not going away in a hurry. Games have been a really fun release of the pressure valve, but with my mindset it just becomes to addictive to have in my life. Have a great year, thanks for your suggestions, keep up the good work.
i know the guidlines you put fo quitting however really only like to eat sleep and play games i hate going places and meeting people seems impossible and there is very little that i consider fun. i feel that im stuck in between deciding on getting a job and deciding if im just going to college first and if i go college i have no idea what for….im always lonley and angrey i get annoyed incredibly easily… what are your recomendations?
@ Mat – Absolutely man. Check out Tony Robbins work on the human needs. You’ll see how video games tie into your desire to escape and that’s a natural desire when you feel anxious (stomach problems causing stress)… so it’s just about finding other avenues to fulfill that.
@ Jeremiah – Thanks for commenting! This is very common so I want you to know you are not alone. The thing is, video games have been a way for you to check out of life, to escape. But how you feel when you aren’t playing is something important to notice. It’s not that you are unable to have fun, it’s simply that you haven’t discovered other ways you enjoy having fun.
To make friends, I suggest finding group activities that are social. Things like martial arts and rock climbing gyms are great because you get to be active which will help improve your mood (better mood -> more motivation) and because it’s a social activity you will have an easier time making friends (already have an activity in common). So I would focus on that first.
The thing you want to recognize is that although you have fun playing games, you aren’t necessarily HAPPY overall in your life. That’s the main focus I would have. How can you become happier on a daily basis? Start learning more about happiness and what contributes to you being happy. Implement the advice you find and see how it works. 🙂
I just saw your youtube video and checked out this article. I have been playing video games my whole life, I’m 27 now.
I’ve managed to quit MMOs like WoW and Rift only to get sucked into a new one. Today I uninstalled all my games, deleted my characters.
I am married, in school, and eventually want to become an anesthesiologist which is lots of schooling. I can’t have it all if I don’t get this under control.
Hey Dude! This is the most clear post i ever read on video game addiction. I have been addicted to Starcraft 2 and Dota 2 for a while now, and have had therapy and help to kick off the habit. This is going nicely(since i have a good job, nice friends and girlfriend). Things are finally looking up again(while i’ve been addicted for about 3 years.
But still, i fall back into play Dota. I feel this is because what u described as the void that doesn’t get filled. At this moment i am doubting between stopping video-games alltogether (so no playing games at friends house, nothing), or just buying some stuff like a ps3 and playing only single player games. I have always like gaming also for the story, and everything they can give and inspire.
I don’t feel comfortable with the thought of not playing video-games alltogether, and i am leaning to trying to just play single player games(because they end at some point, and playing alone doesn’t give you the same kick as online does because of Social Aspect). But maybe it can give me the temporary escape i just sometimes need after a hard day’s work or something like that.
What are your thoughts on this? Would single playering be a good idea, or will the temptation to play more videogames never rest that way?
@ Drew – Thanks for coming by here and checking the article out! If you follow the advice in the article it will work. The key is going to be finding an activity that is outside of school and being married, something that is fun for you because that’s a need you have that gaming is fulfilling right now (which is why you fall back into it), so if you find something (or a few things) outside of that you’ll have a lot of success. Also, make sure you’re being active. The endorphins from exercise are key to improve your mood and give you more energy to break through.
You’ve got this though! Let me know if I can help in any way.
@ Jasper – Thanks for commenting! I’m really happy to hear you found clarity in the article. I think sometimes we get too complicated with things and get caught up in “addictions” and all this other bullshit, when really it can be much more simple than that: you’re playing video games for specific reasons. Find those reasons in other things + develop the parts of yourself (like your social side) to a point that’s much better and voila, no more video games. Not because you don’t enjoy them (you do), and not because you can’t play them (you can), but because you simply have other things you’d rather be doing with your time.
If I were you, I would make sure you reach at least 90 days before considering a PS3. I would also make sure you try and find the “story” part of games in something else first to see if that helps instead. Remember, the story component of games can be found in many things, games is just one of them. The “story” side is just something you enjoy. This also applies to finding that thing that helps you escape when you need it. We all need that sometimes, and I think most people who struggle with gaming have just always fulfilled that need to escape using games, so it’s their habit… instead of it’s the only way that they can escape.
When you try new ways it tends to work just the same way… without the negative affects gaming can bring.
Anyways, just a few things to consider. I’d definitely focus on what I’ve mentioned for at least 90 days (if not longer) before making any decisions. The truth is, when you don’t feel comfortable at the thought of not having games, it’s usually coming from a place of fear… which means you’re currently feeling anxious. You should try your best to not make decisions from a place of fear (instead, try it from a place of inspiration or possibility..) and especially avoid making decisions when you’re feeling anxious.
(See what I wrote to Drew above as well..)
Hope you’re both having a great night! Thanks for commenting. 🙂
Hey Cam, thanks for this article. It has inspired me, once again, to try to quit video games. It’s so hard for me because I’m really good at them. I play pretty competitively and all of my friends worship me for my skills in Dota. I just recently moved to a new state and the only way I keep in contact with my friends is through Skype and Dota. I work, go to school, work out, and play endless hours of Dota; that’s my whole life. I feel like I’m living groundhog day. I can’t picture my life without video games though. I have no friends here, and now no girlfriend either. I feel like my creative energy is being drained but at the same time it’s one of the only things I look forward to in my day. I’d really like to meet a decent girl but all the ones I want don’t want don’t text back and the ones that I have a chance with look less attractive than my left hand. I’m going to try to go cold turkey because I don’t want to look back one day and think that I’ve wasted my whole life. Wish me luck man. I hope I can stay strong like you seem to have done.
@ Arm – Thanks for commenting. I’m really happy the article has helped you out once again. If you read through your comment you’ll see exactly what the solution is in your case.
You’ve moved to a new state and the only way to stay in contact with your friends is through Skype/Dota.
Here are the missions you want to go on:
1) How can you stay in contact with your friends outside of Skype/Dota. Does Facebook work? Maybe Skype, no Dota?
2) How can you make new friends in your new state. What activities can you take up that will be in group settings to make it easier? Any clubs at school?
3) Focus less on the girlfriend situation and more on your friend circle. A solid foundation of friends will not only help you get a girlfriend but also give you a more fulfilling social life in general so you a) aren’t as concerned about having a girlfriend – and can pick the right one b) don’t feel as much pressure to talk with your friends from back home all the time c) allow you to develop yourself more so you are meeting the girls you want, instead of having to settle for the one that seems willing to text you back
4) When you get home from school, what activities can you take up that will fill your time? Knowing this beforehand is super important, otherwise you’ll get bored and want to go play games. 🙂
Good luck! You can definitely do it. Let me know if I can help in any way. Also, my latest YouTube video talks about how I went out to make new friends, so that should help you out too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e32EiCa9bg&list=UUTbbu5C5sq9VStQD2gvIN_g
Hey Cam! I’m still doing OK at the uni. I’ve been writing down why I felt an urge to play a game. It was still really hard at times even after all those months! I think I’ll be able to write an article soon and send it to you. Cheers!
@ Paul – Thanks for commenting! Keep going, sometimes it gets harder than other days but you can always get through it! 🙂
Hi. Just wanted to say thank you for your article and TED talk. I can’t really relate to all of it, as I am much more of a binge player. But number 1, the temporary escape is an extremely strong component in my addiction. Just not being in my head and persona for a couple of days. Screw the consequences. Guilt because you ditched that imprtant thing because of games? Just play another day, and it goes away temporarily.
Anyways, I’m trying to stay clean, so that I can have a better chance to deal with the underlying problem. Thanks for sharing everyon!
how to stop me and my friends to waste time on league of legends
games? i have a much worse addiction, porn. well ..and games, and internet. well in a few words im sitting 24/7 in front of a pc. why? well why not. its my best friend and only escape. i dislike all other things. people, society, working, studying, i suck at sports and hate excersizing in general, and my laziness and sloth make garfield look like a hard working slave. so …pc it is…
HI RETARDIUM:
Why don’t you find a job? if not a paid job and try volunteering at a community center, at a church, or at school (if you are still in school).
That is one way (a first step) to get away from the PC and your friends who pulls you down. If any of your friends wants to work/volunteer then you could also help them.
Your laziness will catch up with you later in life: sickness to your body and your mind….
@Victor
I dont give a fu.. . As for job i looked for one but cant find any. any that i can do at least. friends? what friends, i have no friends at all. i passed my whole birthday in omegle this year. and when i play i play singleplayer games, and when i play multi its games in which you dont develop relations with people like rpg’s or lol. people find me awkward. they hate me and i hate them too. but i dont mind my isolation nor do i care to ever understand them. as for my future health, do you think someone who has destroyed his life completely and even abandoned his college after 7 years of effort would give half a fu.. about such a thing…? or about anything that is…? wtf man.
Hi there,
nearly 3 years ago i first commented on this really good article. Finished my B.Sc. with very good grades and got married. Also got a good job right after study in IT Management.
Sounds good? Yeah, but i have this special feeling, that something is missing. In my freetime i often waste good hours surfing the internet without even knowing what i am searching for. I want to learn so many things to improve my career (like improving my programming skills), but after work i cant motivate myself to do something productive. On some days i can motivate myself to work out, but that’s only because i want to get fit for beach vacation 🙂 Long story short, i just don’t know how to fully invest the hours of the day into self improvement. In the past i could just log in to WoW or Diablo and was done for some hours, achieving something.
I often think to dive back into gaming, but still i can resist.
@ Simon – Thanks for commenting! I’m really happy you enjoyed the article and the TED talk. If you’re willing to share, where do you think the underlying problem comes from? Hope you’re having a great day!
@ Andrew – Hi! Thanks for commenting! Follow the article and that will help a lot. Also, try finding a few new friends outside of games. Your friends may not want to quit but if you focus on you first they will follow your example.
@ Retardium – Thanks for commenting and sharing your story! Porn and video games have a lot in common. I would recommend reading http://yourbrainonporn.com – this is what helped me out a lot. Also, the http://reddit.com/r/nofap community is great!
@ Victor – I definitely like the idea of getting a job. I think this is one of the best ways to fill your time and become more proud of yourself outside of games. Thanks for taking the time to help share your insight!
@ Marcus – Thanks for commenting again and sharing your update! I’m so happy to hear you have had success with the article! Congrats on your degree, job and marriage! I hope you are very proud of yourself!!
What you’re experiencing is normal so don’t worry about it too much. The key is, when we have these feelings and whispers that something is missing this is a good thing, because it gives us the ability to start figuring out what is missing and to find a healthy way to fulfill this desire.
Traditionally we’ve used games for this, but that doesn’t mean (as you’ve found out over the last three years) that gaming is the only way to fulfill it!
Ok, so after work you want to be more productive with your time, so this is all about how you set yourself up for success.
1) You need to understand your WHY, and your WHY has to be something that gives you energy. You’ve seen this with your beach vacation, when you have a stronger reason why you should work out it’s easier to do it. So what’s your WHY for programming skills or to improve your career. Sure, you might be able to get a raise or something, but what is so much bigger than that? Maybe it’s the opportunity to travel more with your wife, maybe it’s paying for your future kids college. Find a bigger why. 🙂
2) Schedule your day. When you are aimlessly surfing the net it’s because you don’t have a defined thing/task to work on. So when you come home from work, you may need a time to rest and that’s ok, find a way to do this, maybe it’s with a walk or by reading a book. Then have a specific time you are going to work on your other skills. Read this for more info: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/
3) A book you’d really enjoy is The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. Pick it up, you’ll learn a lot from it. 🙂
– Cam
Wait wait wait… Let me guess, before I read… WoW and call of duty?
Yup, blatant skinner box designs, psycholigist proven, results guaranteed.
Theres a reason the entire industry exploded and adopted this scheme, its guaranteed to work on 25-30% with about 5% of that having addictive personality disorders, whom they call with absolute glee ‘Whales’, which comprise 80% of their bottom line. Profits practically scale linearly with exposure.
Unfortunately for the rest of us who actually enjoyed games, we were instantly and near completely marginalized for this new audience of addicts who were much easier to control and predict.
Well, I guess on the bright side we arent addicted to games. I have a house, and a family, and a social life.
@ Creaks – Thanks for commenting! Happy to hear you’re able to have a healthy relationship with gaming! Thanks for coming by. 🙂
Very good post. I’m facing a few of these issues as well..
Check this clip on youtube:
– the guy was asked to show what he “earned” or “gained” from gaming – of course he could not
– the guy actually wants his wife to take a second job while he doesn’t work, stays home to play game
Gaming makes this guy lost all dignity become shameless and irresponsible towards his children and wife.
Forgot to attach the link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th5rdHh_CFI
Check this clip on youtube:
– the guy was asked to show what he “earned” or “gained” from gaming – of course he could not
– the guy actually wants his wife to take a second job while he doesn’t work, stays home to play game
Gaming makes this guy lost all dignity become shameless and irresponsible towards his children and wife.
Im from Iraq, im 22 years old. I would like to thank you Cam, your article very helpful.
When decided to quit playing video games but i end up playing again (i was addict on clash of clans), then i found your article in the google after searching for (how to quit playing video games) .. and i like it.. it was very helpful
Thx
@ Mejor TV – Thanks for commenting! Let me know if I can help 🙂
@ Vince – Thanks for commenting! I’ve seen the link before. I actually disagree with a lot of what they aired on the show and think they really are missing the point when it comes to this gaming problem. This was a very extreme case that I don’t believe represents 99% of those who also struggle with gaming. Hopefully I can get on the show some day to help reshape the conversation. 🙂
@ Thamer – So cool to hear from you and that you’re from Iraq! I’m so happy you found it helpful. Let me know if I can help in any other way. Wish you a great day!
Hi, I’m from france 23 years old, loved your post, very interesting and lots of truth.
My post will probably make me sound like I need therapy, but I just have so much stuff flowing through my head and so many things I wan’t to learn and understand.
I just excuse myself for the wall of text, I never talk about this kind of stuff to people since I’m all day chatting with gamers, I really wan’t to move on but the feeling that all this work was for nothing is just frustrating, i’ll come back to that a bit later.
So here is my “gaming” story …
I’ve been playing since i’m a kid, started with mario and grown up to the gameboy with fun rpg’s, platformers, puzzle game and all that, but that has nothing to do with the adult gaming life so i’ll pass details.
What is kinda tricky for me, is that i’ve been playing competitive now for maybe around 10 years, started with Tetris when I was like 12, got top 100 world ( no proff, just refering to 40 line speed ), pvp was awesome and still is, kinda one of the game I come back time to time, great community, and I usually don’t have long sessions with that game which is good.
But what’s been bothering me is mostly mmorpg’s like Tera which I get easily addicted too, it’s even starting to take up more time than I really wan’t too, but when you got daily’s and stuff to do to aim for top gear, and practice to be one of the top pvpers takes a lot of time which I could do something like you said to all,
to improve my life, living style, socialise etc… Even tho, I play cause it’s one of my passions, but also an addiction.
The Tera stuff is pretty recent, but for the last 4 years, I’ve been mostly playing League of Legends, got to diamond rank, played with some teams, even won some ESL tournaments, but the dream to one day be part of a pro team passes by, I’m getting old and tired training when I got free time, which is why I just wan’t to play for fun, but at the same time I have a hard time finding a better balance, which is why, after reading this, I’m just wondering if I should stop and never come back to gaming, and come back to my real passions.
I actually liked my lifestyle much better when I played guitar all day, worked out to stay in shape etc, but what is keeping me hooked, is that I actually have mostly friends that play, and a few people I actually see outside of gaming.
Which scares me, cause when I think of it, if I stop playing, socialising IG, making IG friends, I actually don’t have much left.
Just to be clear, I had a job not long ago, and actually pursue training courses to become a web developer, did a music school when I was younger and just have a hard time finding my place in the society.
I’ve learned lots by playing, and wish to develop a game when I’ll have more programming skills, mostly played to train and a bit to entertain or have fun with friends, but with all this knowledge, I was thinking of starting a website, that may be a good thing to start with, writing stuff down, I’d love to hear what you think about it ! =)
Thank you so much
~ Robin
@ Robin – Bonjour! Thanks for commenting and having the courage to share your story! What you’ve shared is so accurate to what I believe about this gaming problem! It’s about *much* more than just games!
What I want you to know is that just like you have gotten good at games… you are able to get good at anything else you SET your mind to. If you approach anything else like you have games you will improve over time and achieve the level of greatness you have with games!
Also, it’s about finding a new community, new social hobbies you can take on that will help you make new friends. Here are 60+ hobby ideas for you: http://gamequitters.com/hobby-ideas
I’d definitely encourage you to start a website. It can be a great outlet for you and you’ll learn a lot by doing it! Developing a game sounds like a great goal too! Just remember it’s OK to have these dreams and you can go after them. You don’t *have* to keep playing games. Also, I’ve felt like an outcast in society a lot too. I shared that in this video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsT5eV_m7BA
Hope you have a great day! Salut! 🙂
@ Cam – Thanks for the quick response !
I really liked your talk, thanks for sharing your story as well =)
I can somehow relate to the bullying, the “why me”, and the questions that you can’t simply get answers on.
I’ve already started to focus more on working and setting some goals, but as a gamer, I think I’ll just have to moderate my addiction, and I’m sure I’ll just get bored of it when my job will consist of working on the computer all day and when I’ll have a familly.
Btw before commenting, I was reading all of your responses and the different cases people had, was really interesting, wanted to read it all until I noticed the scrollbar barely just moved lmao ^^
Before ending it right here, I just wanted to say, that just like you, I’ve always loved helping people, either by making them better at a game, or by giving guitar lessons, or by just trying to stop the hate in a game of League of Legends.
Mostly trying to understand how people react and why, which is like Mission Impossible =D
I’d like to know if there is any solution to stop the hate in team games where there is a winner / loser, I can’t stand seeing so many people beeing not tolerant over newcomers or people that make mistakes, or that just don’t know what to do in this proper situation. (I also have an IRL example with my previous job, my boss bullied me so much I had an accident, and had 0 tolerance).
This is actually what I hate most about video games, other than the entertainement and the fun it can provide, or long term relationships (I’ve got friends I talk to daily which I’ve met 4 years ago in a game, and others I’ve met IRL as well, and we don’t always play, sometimes we just skype to talk)
* after reading this section again, I think it’s part of stuff you can’t answer, and have no control on even if you do your best to improve the situation, and also part of the “why me”.
Not trying to justify in any way my addiction, even if i’m probably doing it a bit lmao
But anyways, I’d like to thank you for what you’re doing, it is I beleive the best way to help people, I’m glad you’ve also found your way and hope you are living the life you always wanted to.
Peace
~ Robin
@ Robin – Hello! The scrollbar really is fascinating hey? I show people sometimes and after scrolling for a few minutes it’s barely even moved. Really one of the coolest parts of this whole article is the comments!
As for your question, for me this really comes down to helping people develop more empathy. A great book you’d learn a lot from is called Born to Love. Link: http://www.amazon.ca/Born-For-Love-Essential-Endangered/dp/0061656798
I read it over the holidays and it taught me a lot about the issue around empathy and what options we have for improving it within ourselves. The best option is to always just be a leader and be the change. When you look at bullying and programs that try to help to get rid of the bullying issue, they always tell kids to talk to parents or adults. This doesn’t work (research backs this up.)
Instead, the best way to get rid of bullying is by encouraging those who are bystanders to stand up and tell the bully to stop. This same approach can work online. You can be the change. 🙂
Hope you have a great day!
@CAM:
“The Slight Edge” is a real beauty, thanks for the advice (think I will it read again soon) 🙂
“Just do it” or at least do it for 10 pages / minutes / whatever is so fucking true. I finally managed to start reading that heavy book I bought nearly 2 years ago, taking little steps but in the end it’s a steady investment in myself.
I also decided to take another try on a IT certification 😉
@ Marcus – I’m really happy you enjoyed The Slight Edge. It’s basically how I make the progress I do. I focus on doing a little bit each day and over time it compounds into major progress! Keep going, you’ll be happy you did. And good luck on your IT certification! You’ve got this. 🙂
I think playing computer games is fine as long as you can afford it.
@ Robin – Thanks for commenting! It’s not that games are good or bad, it’s just about whether or not they are having a positive impact on your life. For many who have commented here, games are hurting their life and so then not playing is a good strategy. Hope you’re having a great day!
Thanks for the wonderful read! I came across your article 3 months ago and I absolutely loved how you pinpoint every “hooks” that gaming had used to reel me in. Still, it took me all this time to comment back because i felt like everything i have to share is similar to what most people have already wrote here. Since i quit gaming, i picked up the violin and was captivated by it 😀 Today i realized something: Every day i practice the same simple tunes (most of which are “La-la-la-la-la” times 100 and the likes), yet i felt each and every one practice session as different. In contrast, of my 1500+ hours playing DOTA 2, i always meet new enemies/teammates, try different heroes, build different items, but still things felt really, really repetitive. So i came to a thought: The amount of effort put into something changes one’s perception of it. To me, gaming is too effortless: sure, higher-ranked E-Sports matches takes much skill and whatnot, but for non-pros it’s just about sitting in front of PCs dragging mice and pushing buttons! So i thought: If you’re determined to go big with gaming, put forth every little ounces of effort you have. If you aren’t, then don’t place in your big chips: play with little time and effort only for your own entertainment. Don’t let video games drag you to the middle! Get out of the effortless-but-time-consuming trench!
@ Pham Dinh Cuong – Hey there! Thanks for commenting. I’m really happy you enjoyed the article. It’s really cool to see how many of us relate to the same problems. I definitely agree with your feedback. Hope you’re having a great day!
Hi.. So I have a big issue with games too. I basically played them all my life, due to a father who obsessively plays them all the the time every day when he isn’t working. I literally would get home from school each day and play them until I slept. I wouldn’t eat, hardly slept, and all I ever worried about was games. It was never social to me.. I hate being social. I preferred games I could make endless adjustments to like Skyrim, where I could mod and change it endlessly. A lot of times I played games even if I wasn’t enjoying them. I would feel miserable bored but I felt it was the only thing to do after so long. Almost a year ago I was forced to give them up for the better of a relationship (it was my choice to give them up.. I had lied countless times about games for months and months on end and at one point it was made clear.. games or be alone lol.) My problem is that I cant ever seem to just let go of them. I find myself thinking about wanting to play them and about how fun they were. It gets so bad sometimes that I have full blown breakdowns about it because I want them back so badly. I feel so guilty for this and I would do anything to change this! I’ve tried some other hobbies but I can never stay with any of them. I always get bored too easily or loss motivation. Another thing is I don’t work, I’m supported by my relationship, and so I have 8 hours a day to myself to work with. I don’t need the social aspect at all, but I guess my problem is I can’t seem to find something else. I keep expecting any hobby I try to pick up to fill the void and interest me but nothing really seems to. Any more advice would be appreciated! Thank you.
@ Anon – Thanks for commenting! I definitely relate to your story and there’s a few things to keep in mind:
1) Games fulfill *all* these needs through one activity, so what I’ve found works best is if you have multiple activities to make sure you aren’t just relying on one. You will need to go through a 90 day detox before your brain rewires back to normal sensitivity levels, so during this 90 days you may find other activities boring. This isn’t because other activities are boring.. it’s because your brain is wired for gaming.
2) If you need hobby ideas, click here (60+ ideas): http://gamequitters.com/hobby-ideas
3) I have a YouTube channel where I answer a lot of different questions. This will help you out a lot. Here: http://goo.gl/Dgd0kk
4) One of the other best things you can do when you quit is to fill up your time. Being at home for 8 hours a day is a great way to have your gaming temptations be super high. So getting a job, even part time could go a long way to help you out. Less time to game. 🙂
5) There’s a great support community on reddit you’ll find valuable: http://www.reddit.com/r/stopgaming
Hope that helps!
– Cam
Hi again cam!!!!,
I’ve been reading, visiting and re-visiting this article since you first wrote it, my initial comment was made during april 2012 and i’ve made several others under different nicknames and more recently another comment two days before i decided to really really quit gaming for good (around September of 2014), i went through a lot last year from deep depression to contemplating suicide, i was failing academically and professionally, i had no friends and my workouts in the gym were horrible.. I wasn’t enjoying anything and felt huge self-loathing and self-hate, i was detached from my emotions and hated everything. I wanted to drop out of university and just give up on life.. Leave my city and go back to live with my parents and work a random job..
I realized something extremely important in the past 6 months, quitting isn’t easy and it has to be said that failure only brings you closer to success. On September 16th 2014 (much like September 16th 2013) i’ve decided to quit gaming for good, i quit Runescape and deleted all the ‘main titles’ i had saved and downloaded and gave my steam account to the clan i was in as well as my runescape accounts and had them change the information (i could of sold them all for at least 300$.. I dont care).
The first 2 weeks were easy but it became harder as time progressed, everything caused me to edge and to ‘want’ to play again, i’d still watch youtube videos about gaming, watch review channels on yt for gaming and read related information to Runescape clans.. I was still spending 1-4 hours a day observing games, but then it turned to bad when i began playing CS – Portable again…
All in all i spent October & November playing video games, barely working out and eating lots of garbage and not really exercising well or pursuing hobbies or practicing or anything.. I was in deep depression and was seriously at the edge of suicide, i got extensions for my seminars and i didn’t write any of them.. My professor gave me 88 instead of giving me a zero for the crap i delivered.. And the other two papers i just didn’t give them.. I wanted to drop out..
But around December i began a change, an entire new me, first i discovered myself, second i re-invented myself.. I burst into a new person.. Here’s how:
1- By late November i realized that i was becoming way too fat, i wasn’t working out properly, by then i had started ‘ddp yoga’ but i was only doing it once a week and not really the full sessions… I was still eating garbage and lots of garbage food and not really doing anything productive. I realized then the way i am living was wrong and i need to change so i began listening to self-help videos and reading self-help articles (not much of a book reader), i discovered this AMAZING video that saved my life:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5U4M7IRNBks
(I didn’t focus on the money aspect of the video i didn’t care about ‘income’ i cared about change, i began doing lists daily and bought white boards and marker pens and write lists daily, its all about constructive thinking!!!).
2- As December went by i discovered i had no more extensions for the seminars i didn’t write, i was anxious and depressed because i wasn’t writing, i was going to the library sitting there for 6 hours reading books not related to my subject and then going back home.. My pay improved at work during November and December.. So after i realized that i can’t do the paper anymore i felt like: ‘ah well.. RELIEF!’, it was burying the ugly negative emotions and anxiety feelings away and shifting towards something new and positive, i began doing DDP yoga 3-4 times a week and running/jogging at night and morning, waking up every day at 4 am, i switched from eating garbage food to healthy clean food. ANd most importantly i was doing No-Fap again and having streaks that lasted 15 days then 20 then 25 and my longest so far was 28 days! Your HOLE mind soul and body CHANGE during no-Fap.. Quitting gaming was easy but quitting porn is way HARDER but way more rewarding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3- Fast forward from December to February, i kept focusing on diet and exercising and improving my skills and decided to re-enroll to college and to finish my masters after taking a year of break without doing anything and being depressed.. I became happy and excited, contacted the teachers for the two courses i signed up to and told them to give me books/articles to read a month before the semester began, they sent me and i read EVERYTHING, I LOVED IT.. I was thrilled for college to start. I began working out in a public park and not just running/jogging doing ddp y oga in my home, working out with others (the park is free), i became stricter and harsher on myself to make sure i don’t relapse with gaming.
4- On my iphone when i quit gaming i deleted everything related to gaming, no more minecraft on iphone or anything.. And eventually i stop playing CS-Portable and stopped playing anything, the last game i played was 2 months ago and it was WolfenStein and even though it’s been two months it feels like it was yesterday and this picture says it all for me: http://i.imgur.com/zTc0MFR.jpg i haven’t played a single game sense then, i no longer watch Youtube videos related to gaming as i modified the site to block it all out, i use K9 as a second protection for me to make me re-think when ever i get urges/triggers/edges to look up gaming/porn related content i exit them, i meditate now and i workout way harder and i bought an acoustic guitar and i play it, i draw, sketch and constantly go out and learn new skills and make new friends, I HAVE FRIENDS NOW!!! i’ve made so many new friends in the past 3 months!!!!.
5- This video made me do the next thing here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfQ9T4ev0PQ I’ve watched and listened to this video at least, AT least 50 times in the past 4 months.. “IF you want to succeed you have to want it as bad as you want to breathe” I want to quit gaming & porn as bad as i want to BREATHE, i really want it and not just “KINDA want it”. This Video made me work on my resume in January and send it to another company – its the dream job i wanted, everything i ever dreamed off.. It began when i called by accident a person that i worked for from that company as a contractor 2 years prior and it made me say to my self ‘ what the fuck am i doing working for some one that doesnt give a shit about me that has no work for me after june?????”.. I re-edited my resume that i did in September (but was never contacted then) and i perfected it.. I worked on it for 8 hours a day for an entire week then i sent it to every section of that company.. Time went by, they contacted me from one department and told me that they cant higher me because i am living too far away… Then i said ‘alright they dont want me, i’ll make the most out of the current work i have.. Positive thinking’ I wasn’t mad or depressed like last year.. That’s thing, i NO LONGER feel depression or sadness!!!! i don’t dwell on past errors but run forward looking for solutions!!!!!!!!!!. THEN GUESS WHAT?!??!?!? THe BEST FUCKING THING IN MY LIFE EVER, HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 weeks go by from that call and then i get another call for an INTERVIEW for another department that’s near me (i mass apped to all departments) and i prepared for that INTERVIEW LIKE HELLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
(Continued)
I went and bought an ironer and table for it and i cleaned up my best clothes and jacket, by hand and by washing machine and ironed them and i left them at a perfect spot to stay clean and put them two days in advance, I prepared like CRAZY for that interview, printed many copies of my resume, had all my documents, EVERYTHING, i watched countless youtube videos about job interviews, from body language to symantics, i did not say anything to my boss, this was med February, i instantly contacted my best friend that works for that company and i was sooo happy.. She helped me like crazy too. I do the interview and it goes SMOOTH, they tell me at the end ‘alright we’re gona discuss between us if we’ll higher you or not”, i took it as a ‘no’ and i was like meh.. They’ll never contact me again, i’ll never work there again but then i said ‘ I BELIEVE I WILL BE ACCEPTED AND IF I FAIL NOW I WILL TRY AGAIN I WILL NEVER GIVE UP!” i kept myself happy during the day and the next day THE NEXT DAY they contact me for the second interview.
I prepare myself liek crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this was the real one, it makes or breaks me.. I listen and my biggest prepareness was the answer to ‘Why do you wanna leave your current job?” i prepared like CRAZY and everything she asked me was standard!!!
I answered it all perfectly (Our initial interview was scheduled for thursday but then a snow storm hit, she sent me an SMS message at 2 am and i was up by then because i had slept for 5 hours during the day and i was practicing for the interview, i responded and we schedule it for Monday) i t was perfect.. At the end she tells me that i’ll be contacted by a reliability test company in a few weeks for the last part of my interview…
As i get out i go to the Al Aqsa Mosque and to Jerusalem and to explore, i get a phone call on the same day to set up the date for the realibality test and i set it for thursday because its the only day i can not worry about work or having some one to replace me or the need to tell my boss i wont be at work.. I prayed for the first time since september 16th 2009 (not like i remembered the words for it lol) and it was awesome.. I went home and prepared for the final interview like crazy.. Asking friends and the internet..
(last part).
i do the exam and a week later i get a call saying i PASSED! MY GOD I COULDNT believe it I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT, i got accepted to my dream job and now i will have a financial security to start a family in the near future!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6- Basically i give working out, diet, studying, EVERYTHING I GOT, i read every single article (the semester started) i pay FULL Attention during classes I LEAVE MY PHONE on Silent/no Vibrate i dont CHECK IT AT ALL during classes (Just think a year before i was playing VIDEO GAMES DURING CLASSES!!!!!!!!!!!), i have so much fun at classes (my class mates all check facebook, do random crap and dont pay attention, i leave sitting next to them and go closer to the teacher) my laptop screen doesn’t leave my summary page/articles and the teacher sees it clearly, i LOVE STUDYING I immersed myself with it i WANT TO FINISH MY MASTERS THIS IS MY LAST SEMESTER!>
Why i say all of this???? because it all built up and built up!!!!!!!!!!! i am now no longer addicted to porn NO LONGER ADDICTED TO VIDEO GAMES, i am apart of an accountabality group and have an accountabality partner for no-Fap (although i will not use my phone until saturday, so i paused it) ITS HARD NO ONE SAID THIS IS GOING TO BE EASY BUT STRENGTH DOESNT COME FROM OVER COMING THINGS WE KNEW WE CAN BEAT, iT COMES FROM OVER COMING THINGS WE COULDn’t BEAT !!!!!!!!!>
You gota remember it took our brains YEARS to develop these addictions SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE THINK we can beat them in a few days ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
(oh did i say i also went from 92kg with pregnant fat belly to 80kg with visible abs without flexing??? BEING ABLE TO DO Pull-up Roll overs and muscle ups??!??? I also interact A LOT with children (currently i am a teacher but i sacrificed what i am to become what i want TO BE!) KIDS just come flocking to me when i workout in the park, asking me how i do this and how they can do it, and i teach them.. yesterday i spent probably 5 hours in the park, 2 hours of them playing soccer with a group of kids and 1 hour working out and the other 2 hours i spent them talking with other adults, bonding, making friends and talking to other kids.. and even had a few kids bring a chair and taught them how they can progress pull ups and chin ups!!! (no one shows them attention, their parents dont teach them SHIT!!! Their parents let them go play outside a lot without supervision!!!!!!!!!!!! their parents are fucking idiots… *AND HELLA RICH*) these kids i interact with WANT attention.. Now everytime i go to the park and they see me “Hey its MR (i wont say my name)” and they come running to me saying hi or hugging me or asking me already how they can do this or that or if i wanna play with them. I AM A KID MAGNET… WOrking as a teacher taught me one thing about children: THEY ARE VALUABLE!!! you have to set a perfect role model for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i start a family i know how i will raise my children!!!!!!!..
7- Here’s what i learned in the last 3 months : quitting gaming isn’t easy, and when you say you quit you’re not going to instantly manage to stop by just filling hobbies, you will still have moments where you will think about it but the trick is what i said already STAY BUSY, GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!!!!!!! dont stay in doors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! go workout in the park, go meet with friends, talk to real people get real connections!!!!!!!! get out of your comfort zone!!!!!!!..
I seriously think you dude need to make 1 more article, PART 2 the psychological part its so powerful and important, you matter so much to me i can never thank you enough YOU HELPED ME SO MUCH YOU CANT EVEN BEGIN TO KNOW HOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cam, its me again.
I write the last post (anonymous gamer) yesterday and today i have a huge interest in asking you – is it possible to chat with you on skype? or some video/audio chat? i don’t have a webcam right now but i can get one.. I don’t know what i wanna say to you or why i wanna speak to you but i feel like i have to and i trust this hunch.. Anyway to contact you?
@ AnonymousGamer – Hey dude! Thanks for commenting (again!)
Email me: cam@gamequitters.com and we will get on Skype sometime.
It was so awesome to read your comment from yesterday – it totally made my day! I’m so proud of you for making the progress you have and it makes me really happy to hear how happy YOU are about your own progress. What an amazing feeling right? Congrats on your job, you deserve it!
I agree with you about a follow-up article to this one. I actually *just* wrote it. It’s a guide called Respawn where I detail the five most important next steps to take once you read this article. You can find it here: http://gamequitters.com/respawn
I’m also writing a lot of other stuff on this gaming problem including the psychological side which will be released soon. Make sure you subscribe on http://gamequitters.com to get it.
I also have my YouTube channel now here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTbbu5C5sq9VStQD2gvIN_g?sub_confirmation=1
Hope you’re having a great day!
Hi there again CAM
I thought now may be a good time again to pass by and leave a comment.
I do feel different now from when I started to drop this video game addiction. At first I could feel this ‘yeeehaaaa, I’m in the boat with those people who are quitting this stuff’. But that feeling to climb this ‘boat’ alone was like another addiction. I know that I have had many draw backs in the past, just so I could climb abord again and again. Now I have left that boat, only this time being landed on the right side of the river. It is strange that I can NOW, not any day earlier, really say that I did recognise this kind of freedom before. I may have imagined it. But now I can feel it.
Also I do feel the other freedom from that ‘addiction behind the addiction’.
Everything feels real now. I mean really real. People are approaching me – sometimes it seems out of nowhere – and I can react ‘normal’. I’m no longer wondering off in my mind. I respond naturally.
So it did help a lot to get rid of both addictions.
But I still do not follow the hint to fill my spare time up with something else. I do however exercise more regularly – every second day I do my routine. It also helps to stay focused. But other than that I really enjoy my free time.
When asked to work some extra hours? No problem. I would have never denied an extra working hour, but now I really have no regrets when doing so – no negative feelings. And this kind of nostalgia also totally wore off. When listening to some chiptune music every now and than, I could remember situations that were connected to a timeframe when playing specific games. But now I’m no longer nostalgic that way and I do remember even more from the past.
I can now remember many things better again that are not connected to anything video game.
With the video game addiction begone, I really do have a better understanding about nostalgia now. At least I think I do have.
Isn’t it the same with people always going back to their favorite music from childhood and youth? But why? Why only remember the good stuff when also remembering the bad stuff makes us complete and ready to go forward? The good stuff keeps us going back to the past. But the bad stuff in the past pushes us forward.
Reality is awesome. Sometimes still hard to figure out, but awesome. I don’t want to go back into wonderland ever again. And also I don’t want to be nostalgic ever again. It is so useless.
🙂
Greetings from Germany.
@ Michael – Hey! Great to hear from you as always. I love your updates and I’m so happy to see how you’ve progressed over time. It seems like you’re in a really good place now. Keep going 🙂
I still can’t quit my gaming addiction for one game. I’ve been playing clash of clan for about half a year now,I’ve tried going cold turkey on it a few times but sooner or later I find myself playing it again.I know i should be doing something more productive,in fact I feel guilty every time I play the game but I still can’t stop.I have deleted at least 10 account for this game thus far and yet I find myself making a new one once again .How do I stop myself from doing this.
@ Robin – Hey! Thanks for commenting! The key is to understand that you play games (in your case, Clash of Clans) for specific reasons – they fulfill needs you have.
So you need to identify *why* you are playing Clash of Clans and then find a new activity to replace it with. If you need ideas: http://gamequitters.com/hobby-ideas
Honestly though, the reason most people fail to quit gaming is because they miss five important steps. One of these steps is choosing new activities (use the link above), but there are four other steps you need to take in order to move on.
I recently put together my new guide called Respawn that contains the five steps you need to take right now to overcome this problem. It’s the guide I wrote as the “next” article you want to read once you read this one. You can find the guide here: http://gamequitters.com/respawn/
If you follow Respawn you will be able to move on from Clash of Clans. I believe in you. 🙂
Hi Cam, in http://gamequitters.com/respawn/
you wrote that
“Here are a few highlights of what I’ve accomplished since I quit gaming:
…….
I’m surrounded by a kickass group of friends who inspire me. (I had no friends when I first quit playing games.)”
I think you should clarify that
you had a different group of friends who played game with you, ***who pulled you back*** when you played game, when you first quit you had no friends and now you are surrounded by a kickass group of friends ***who inspire*** you
@ Vincent – Hi there! Great to hear from you again. I will clarify that section, thank you for your suggestion. I hope you are well! Feel free to email me anytime.
Thank God for your article !
I quit drinking about two years ago, Im an alcoholic. It was hard as fuck, especially because I did it when I hit my personal bottom. I stood up, gritted my teeth, made my way up of it, believed in God (yeah rly! Im still sceptical about Jesus, but I believe in power of Love without doubt), just to be nearly fucked up again by video games. Srsly, WTF!?
Now I’m quitting gaming. I’m using my experiences to fight this addiciton. AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH KEEP IT UP!
Get out of your comfort zone ! And be happy 😀
Sapere aude, guys !
One tip => when you have doubts, just move your ass. Your mind will come afterwards soon 😀
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOA9pbg3VAk
Our weaknesses are our best weapon !
@ Mike – Hey man! Great to hear from you, thanks for commenting! First I just want to say congrats on quitting drinking… I have alcoholics in my family and understand how difficult that can be. There are many similarities but what I want you to know is if you beat alcoholism you can beat gaming addiction too.
Grab a copy of Respawn, the guide I put together that has the next steps you need to take to be successful moving on from games. It’s available here: http://gamequitters.com/respawn/
Reach out anytime, always happy to help. Have a great day Mike!
For some time now I’ve been trying to figure out why I can’t stop. I come home every day and try to do homework but say “oh, I’ll just check my phone for 5 minutes.” This slowly turns into playing games on my phone where I then proceed to attempt to beat high scores in silly games with only one button. I noticed that the main reason I keep playing these games is because at my school you recieve acknowledgment throught the school for getting a high score like #40 out of 6 million in jelly jump for example. I tried and tried to quit playing all these games to no avail. I want to thank you very much for this self help guide because it finally clears up the causes and solutions. I finally have a clear picture and know the steps I need to take. I’ll post back in a month if this works and if I am able to finally do the things I live doing.
@ Peter – Thanks for commenting and sharing your experience. I’m really happy you found it useful and like so many others who have commented, you will be able to come back and share an update soon! Please do! I also want to encourage you to grab a copy of Respawn (http://gamequitters.com/respawn/) which is the guide I wrote as a follow-up to this article. It will help you move on from games successfully.
Have a great day Peter!
What a helpful article! Since 2012 I use PCWebControl software to protect my kids from internet predators but I never blocked online games on their computers and now I don’t know what to do….Maybe some kinds of games are not so bad for kids? My son like World of Warcraft and I heard that’s no a violent one am I right?
@ Luccy – Glad you enjoyed it. It’s not about whether games are good or bad, it’s just about how kids interact with them and whether or not they have a positive effect on their life. Some can game and it’s fine, some cannot.
I have a few articles specifically for parents that you’ll find valuable here: http://gamequitters.com/parents
So I´m 16 and play probably too much (I feel ashamed just writing this). I want to do something else with my friends, but they just want to play games too. The other day I asked my friend over, and wanted to take up the trampoline, but what ended up happening was that he started playing a game on my computer, and I sat up the trampoline myself.
Most of the other people that live around here that don´t just play games smoke weed all the time. The only exception is my neighbour, but he´s living another place every other week (His parents are divorced), and is often busy. I like bicycling, but since I really don´t have anyone to do it with I end up playing video games instead. Same goes for the trampoline. After playing video games for some time now, I also find myself more uncomfortable in social situations. It´s starting to get quite annoying now. I can just forget talking to my crush.
So do you have any advice for what I can do?
hey there,
I am deadly serious about quitting the video games, at least i am right now. I am in my summer vacation and i have about a month to go before my school reopens…the holidays started a month ago too. I thought i will be using this very productively. But the fact is I keep playing games….especially minecraft. I know it may sound lame. But the thing is I want this holiday to be a very productive one (I am 15).
I have a lot of hobbies like writing short stories, bicycling, playing soccer, playing the keyboard, blogging, chess etc……BUT DUE TO MINECRAFT I CAN NEVER SEEM TO GET ENOUGH SATISFACTION FROM DOING THESE THINGS.
my grades have been high recently( that is just because my computer often lags and so i get frustrated and go back to study)…but it all seems useless now. I want to manage my time effectively…IF i keep up playing games then i will loose everything that has mattered to me….
But it is just so easy (when feeling tired) to sit infront of the hellish computer and start playing. I can’t seem to get any ideas for stories now and i am keeping up badly with my keyboard classes.
So i fear that if I continue gaming then everything i have ever achieved in life just goes away to nothing…
pls help me man… what should i do in the coming month to just get rid of these games
i mean like forever. I don’t wanna touch a game henceforth but tomorrow morning i will just end up infront of the desktop….how should i help myself so i live a life ??
Also tell me is there is a community who are trying to quit these heck of games….I will gladly sign up for those man
Hello, Cam!
Incredible article, exactly what I was looking for!
Last night I decided it was the last I played games. Many times I have tried to stop or moderate only to find myself going back to the addiction. I tried all the dumb advices you had mentioned earlier and guess what: they didn’t/don’t work!
I created a website to help men seek evolution and be more successful in dating. My dream is to become a motivational speaker and help people have better lives. It was all going great with the site (great feedback, emails, etc) and I actually wrote a book (unrealeased yet) containing over 180 pages!
After I finished the book (and had reviewed/rewritten it 4 times) I decided I needed a reward. I “rewarded” myself by playing video games and I just had no more motivation to create new content for my website or to even release my book in which I have immense faith).
Plus, countless times have I found myself procrastinating and even not wanting to go out or spend time with my family.
My book has been ready for 3 months and instead of achieving success and changing people’s lives, I played video games… I even let my girlfriend aside sometimes so I could have a few more hours for gaming… It’s ridiculous I know.
As I write this, I’m uninstalling my games and I actually cried a little (and I know I’m exposing myself here, but that’s ok). It felt like part of me was being yanked out of me.
Yesterday I wrote a list of pros and cons and my jaw literally dropped when the cons heavily outweighed the pros! In the pros list, “Challenge” was present (no surprises here, I guess).
Anyway, too much life energy wasted, money wasted, opportunities wasted, 1 5-year- relationship girlfriend wasted (the girlfriend before the one I have now) and very little evolution comparing to what I could’ve had.
I’ll read your book and I’ll let you know.
Thank you very much!
@ Kristian – Thanks for commenting! So cool to hear from you! The best thing to do right now is to either hang out with your friends outside of the house where games aren’t a temptation or to find a few social activities you can join (clubs at school, etc) that will help you make friends. Remember, if you want to quit you are allowed to and you don’t need to justify that to anyone. I recorded two videos you’ll like a lot about what to do with your friends:
1. How to Stay Friends With Your Gamer Friends: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoQJ1RfPQko
2. How to Develop Better Relationships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e32EiCa9bg
Hope that helps!
@ Nathan – Thanks for commenting! So what you need to do is to create more goals around your activities. Blogging is a good activity but what is it specifically you want from blogging? Is it to be earning revenue from your blog? Whatever it is, you want to then backwards engineer what the daily or weekly process is to get there. Now you’ll have more *purpose* in your hobby instead of it just being something you do whenever you feel like it.
Here’s a good video on that: How to Get Motivated After You Quit Gaming – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IFAOiJDegE
The community is here: http://reddit.com/r/stopgaming
You should also grab a copy of Respawn if you can, it will help you take the next steps to quit gaming now: http://gamequitters.com/respawn/
@ Julian – Thanks for commenting! Happy you enjoyed the article, especially as someone who already has a stronger purpose in their life. Check out the book (http://gamequitters.com/respawn/), it’ll help explain why you are drawn to games that much more and definitely reach out anytime. I have a lot more coming on this subject in the future.
Hi Cam, it’s me again. I’ve read “The Slight Edge” again and watched your gamequitters movies on youtube – great work 😉
But again I feel not motivated at all – and I believe that’s because of my wife. Either she sits in front of the tv or is playing games on the tablet (often that goes parallel) or reads all day. This sucks especially on weekends and I can’t get her out of her comfort zone. So I am alone in my room and don’t know that to do with my time. I can’t even prepare for my IT certification, because this situation fucks me up.
Sometimes I think that being alone again maybe the better alternative – I am so angry and can’t handle this situation. It feels like my wife is wasting all her life on our livingroom sofa …
I feel that I am losing interest in her … we once met in World of Warcraft and are a couple for 9 years.
@ Marcus – Hey! Great to hear from you again. I’m really happy you managed to read The Slight Edge, it’s a classic and that you’re enjoying my videos on YouTube. (I’m uploading episode 13 right now!)
Motivation is *your* responsibility and not your wives. The truth is, it’s always easiest to blame others for our situation but it always starts from within. Something I’ve learned over the years is that the flaw we see in others is the flaw we see in ourselves. So what frustrates you about your wife is likely something that is frustrating you about yourself. This is a good insight to have because it shows us how we can grow.
What I would recommend is to focus on continuing to grow yourself. If you need to study for your IT certification and being around her isn’t inspiring, try taking your study and going to a cafe or somewhere out of the house to work on it. Shift your environment. And over time as you continue to grow maybe you do realize you would like to move on to something else… which is ok and a natural part of life.
I’d also recommend joining a few social groups where you can meet other likeminded people, so you aren’t so dependent on your wife. That way you are around others who are inspiring you instead of relying on her.
Remember, motivation comes from a sense of purpose, so you need to define for yourself what your purpose is right now. Why are you waking up each day? That’s an answer only *YOU* can define for yourself.
Hi Cam, very good article
I just wanted to ask you about one specific benefit you get after quitting video games forever. After you decided to quit, over time did you start to notice that you were having stronger relationships with people? That you can make friends easily, be more connected with people, and find it much more easy to get a girlfriend? As I fear these are some of the problems I face because of my constant video gaming.
@ John – Hi John! Thanks for commenting. Really happy you enjoyed the article.
Yes, I definitely noticed my relationships got better, both friendships and romantic interests after I quit gaming. When I was gaming I found myself avoiding any social experience so I could just game. It was a big distraction in my life.
It’s common to struggle with these areas so don’t worry about it too much, but gaming can be part of the problem because it’s always just easier to game than it is to go and work on your social skills or be in environments that are social. Moving on from games can be a great way to start this process, and it was a major catalyst for me personally!
I’ve recorded a video on Gaming + Relationships here: How to Develop Better Relationships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e32EiCa9bg
If you’re ready to quit, grab Respawn, it’ll help you a lot: http://gamequitters.com/respawn
Hey there,
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH CAM, YOU ROCK… let me tell you something. I am currently on a holiday and have a month to go before school starts… I checked out your 60 hobby ideas and those were AWESOME….especially DUOLINGO AND CODEACADEMY……I have opted for learning German and I am learning website designing alternatively…..They already take away much of my time..Keep rocking man. I am also using the google calendar.
At first i used to think i had lots and lots of time in a day…….But now i hardly have a second to spare and i feel as if i am very productive and organized due to google calendar….
thank you so muchh
Way to go
@ Nathan – Thanks for commenting! Great to hear from you man. Recently I’ve been thinking about recording a video or two on my channel (Here if you don’t know yet: https://goo.gl/Dgd0kk) about what to do during your summer now that school is done. What questions would you have about that? Just about how to spend your time or is there anything else?
Love how you’re working on Duolingo and Codyacademy. Both highly recommended and will be two skills that will open amazing opportunities in your life. Think about how you could travel to Germany sometime after you’re done school!
Hope you have a great night!
Hey Cam,
I would love to go to Germany come to think of it and also as a web designer.
And about the video i feel it might be better if you give an ideal schedule of the things to be done at the right pace. For example waking up at 5 already(I know its a holiday but too much sleep is counter productive or so I’ve heard) and jog or something. The aim of the time management should be to increase your productivity ten fold and must make others wonder how you have such a will power and reading books might also help. This is only a suggestion.
See the real problem is we are only talking about the general aspect like wake up early. But what to do when we wake up? What to do in the evening? The idea of hobbies are great, in fact that really turned me on. I guess what we need is a specific aspect. Like a list of various activities that can be done at a particular time which will really make you feel involved.
Try portraying a realistic and yet achievable timetable which can fluctuate according a person’s interest while at the same time boost the productivity. There is a great problem with these holidays, one wants to be free and independent and yet want to pass the time. The games seem to hit the bulls eye in this case. I had a very very hard time gritting my teeth and trying to quit these games for the past one month and i have successfully done so or at least for the past week.
This is only a suggestion again i remind you but if you already have other things on ur mind then go ahed. I told this because this is how i have been feeling for the past month and i am betting that before the school starts i may have learned something which can literally shape my career in the future. I am exceptionally lucky to have found this website at a very early age so i can live my life to the fullest..
Once again thanks to you ..
Hope you change great many lives with this video
Hey Cam,
I would love to go to Germany come to think of it and also as a web designer.
And about the video i feel it might be better if you give an ideal schedule of the things to be done at the right pace. For example waking up at 5 already(I know its a holiday but too much sleep is counter productive or so I’ve heard) and jog or something. The aim of the time management should be to increase your productivity ten fold and must make others wonder how you have such a will power and reading books might also help. This is only a suggestion.
See the real problem is we are only talking about the general aspect like wake up early. But what to do when we wake up? What to do in the evening? The idea of hobbies are great, in fact that really turned me on. I guess what we need is a specific aspect. Like a list of various activities that can be done at a particular time which will really make you feel involved.
Try portraying a realistic and yet achievable timetable which can fluctuate according a person’s interest while at the same time boost the productivity. There is a great problem with these holidays, one wants to be free and independent and yet want to pass the time. The games seem to hit the bulls eye in this case. I had a very very hard time gritting my teeth and trying to quit these games for the past one month and i have successfully done so or at least for the past week.
This is only a suggestion again i remind you but if you already have other things on ur mind then go ahed. I told this because this is how i have been feeling for the past month and i am betting that before the school starts i may have learned something which can literally shape my career in the future. I am exceptionally lucky to have found this website at a very early age so i can live my life to the fullest..
Once again thanks to you ..
I am going to try this:) thank you
@ Nathan – Hey! Germany is very cool, I traveled all over Europe actually and I’m off to Bali in a few days! How cool is that?
If you are a web designer you could look at starting your own business and then all you need is Wifi and your laptop to make $. I work online so I can travel anywhere I want now. 😀
If you start working on that now in a few years when you are done school you will be ready to jet off and travel the world. Don’t underestimate the power of working hard now on things like that!
Your feedback for the video helps a lot, I will record it in the next week or two! Hope you have a great day!
@ Dyllan – Hey! Happy you found it valuable. Good luck! 🙂
I think it depends on the individual because for me personally I’ve been playing games since I was 5. There were times I did game to the point where I would be considered addicted but I never went to the extent that you described such as playing up to 16 hours per day or felt the need to spend everyday day practicing. Plus I’ve never skipped class or skipped work (even when I was called at the last second) just to game. I did well in school, graduated and currently doing a second degree. Also through gaming I actually met someone who is now my best friend (met in real life), we’re both passionate about gaming and share interests outside of gaming too.
Of course I’m just one individual but I can say for myself, balance is possible. As for people who have experienced addiction such yourself, it’s best to stay out altogether.
It’s just like alcohol or drugs, some people have the psych to maintain moderation, some cannot and needs to be 100% clean to gain any control.
@ SFS – Hey! Thanks for commenting! I definitely agree with you that it’s an a case-by-case basis. What I hoped to accomplish by sharing my story is for those out there that do struggle to quit to know they are not alone and there are solutions for them – while encouraging others who do not have the same problem to have more peace in their gaming without having so many people stigmatize it. Thanks for sharing your feedback. 🙂
Hi,
I am 14 and class topper.Video Gaming is my life in free time when exams are not on head.I thought my life was best but now,the dam nation of video gaming I’d making me worse.I am addicted to them from about 2 months like you CAM.
Your blog is inspirational,motivational,emotional,devotional buy now I need your assistance.If I find Internet,I Google only about games and nothing else.I cannot luve without playing
video games.I have control in myself but I think that games are conquering me.My family is rich but my parents have very high expectations from me and I don’t want to wash them.
I have addiction to Fifa 14 and it is nearly 12 hours each day now.I try to perfect myself just like you.
I am good in studies,i am good in gaming,
studies will award me,gaming will discard me.
I have determination to leave playing and be a social man in future.
Reading everything on this page for 1hr made an impact on me.
I was about to play fifa after reading this Web but after reading your story,my mind was converted.I deleted Fifa from my pc bit this game is not the only one I have.
I want to quit playing,if you can help me,
I will be very happy.
Cam you are like the people around me who were great gamers of Mario,CS,Starcraft but are now very good menough and have success.I also want to change.Vido games have dropped my performance in my studies by a margin and I,though very heavily,leave video games.
Please give me some attention and tips to get out of this path which is very enjoyable but has a very dangerous ending.
Sorry for some mistakes cause smartphone keyboard is…..you know
Very different from keyboard of a pc.
@ Ashish – Hey! Thanks for commenting! So great to read your comment! I definitely encourage you to check out my YouTube videos, especially this one, What If Gaming Is The Only Thing You’re Good At? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wngVZR8ISBU – They will help you learn a lot about moving on from games successfully!
Hope you’re having a great day!
Someone has advised me to play only for 2hr on Saturday offline until I can develop skills.Is this a good idea,Cam?
Leaving games when you play them every time is very difficult but I will admit that after reading your story I have not touched video games so far.
I also try to become best in my friends that’s the reason to play.
But,this is not a lie,not playing games only for 2 days made me feel good.I became social in these two days,I always worried about games but that got removed.
Now next syep, every rime I wish to play
games but your good thoughts are binding me.Thank You.
I am not thinking abut future.I am in present and trying to get out of addiction.
I have shared your story to all the prole I know who play games.
I am good in Football.
I think it is good option.
I like to learn novels
This is also a good replacement.
But I like to play games more.
This is my problem.
I can leave them.
I will be on this website until I quit
playing.I will give you updates on
myself.
@ Ashish – Hey! Watch this video, it’s about whether you should quit cold turkey or limit your time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4eevScLZwk
Make sure you find some new hobbies to replace gaming with. Being out and social is a good one.
I love watching hollywood movies
Is this worth replaceable to my
addiction.
I have already mad my mind in
sports and exercises and reading
various books
@ Ashish – Sports, exercises and reading books is good. Maybe learning a new instrument or language could be good. 🙂
I held this view for a while, no idea how I acquired it:
In life, I should either do something really impressive, else I’ll just do the minimal amount of things to get by.
Of course, I ended up doing the minimal amount of work to get by. I don’t game all that much compared to some, but have well over 3000 hours on the clock in the past few years. I could never completely quit, it is like a shadow that chases me. I was once considered really smart by everyone around me, but now all my past friends and acquaintances have got so far ahead in life. Games are not always the cause; sometimes they are the effects of a vicious cycle. The frustration, the doubt that comes from the current situation keeps pushing me back into video gaming every once a while.
I can’t just quit video games themselves, for they are only a vice among many equals. I must quit the entire mentality that connects me to video games. Despite past failures, I think I can still do it. After all, you showed me it can be done.
Hi Cam
When you mentioned that you were somehow able to take video games out of your life, how long did it take roughly for the desire to play video games to ware off? Did you have to distract yourself with other more useful activities to keep your mind away from video games? I just want to know the ultimate fuel and motivation which drived you to never touch another video game ever again.
Thank you, Great article
Hello, I just read your article. I am 14, and have a pretty big addiction to games. I like the idea of finding a new activity, but none interest me since i only play video games. I dont know if your still comment here, but if you do, please try to help me out. paranoid that highschool will slap me in the face.
Hi,Andrew
The question you are asking has an answer above of your comment in my
comments.Cam has already suggested a video for your answer just
check it above.
@ Ming – Hey! Thanks for commenting! I definitely relate to that. I was proud to just get 51% in school all the time. That belief in me has changed over the last few years and now I focus on showing up and doing my best every day! It feels much better!
I shared a lot about where this belief comes from here: http://gamequitters.com/challenge/ – and also how games aren’t necessarily the cause but more of the symptom.
For me when I quit games it was the first commitment I made to moving on from that mentality. Games were just step one, living my life to the fullest was step two! Hope you have a great day!
@ John – Hey! Thanks for commenting! So research shows it will take up to 90 days for our brains to rewire back to normal dopamine sensitivity levels from all the gaming we’ve done. I think starting with a 90 day detox is the best step to take. See how you feel after that. I shared more of this research here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4q649mZfr0
@ Andrew – Hey! So cool to hear from you! I think you’ll find a lot of valuable info in this video I made about What If You Find Other Activities To Be Boring? You can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4q649mZfr0
@ Ashish – Hope you’re having a great day brother!
If you guys want to quit once and for all it’s very simple. Record yourself playing video games all day long. Then force yourself to watch the video of you playing video games all day, then you will see how wasteful and meaningless it really is. I had a friend suggest this to me and I quit immediately. I was a person that lived in the world of warcraft by the way. I spent every spare minute on WOW
@ David – Haha that’s not a bad idea!
Hi Cam,
I have quit playing games up to a great extent..
Now I have 60% of my time in which i do many activities and i also have control
in my spirit in not playing games.
Just remember why you are quitting games and this thought will win over your addiction.
If you all have any problems,
READ THIS STORY AGAIN
@ Ashish – Great job! 😀
this is so powerful and i can relate to this very much, i started playing pc games (steam) for about 2 years ago and i cant handle but to turn my pc and play some counter-strike global offensive, this is truly down to the fact that i am really good at the game. Rank: supreme/global/ legendary eagle , and all i do is play it and surf on it and i have about 2.5k hours on the game in total and now i am 13 stone i was before about 10 and i have grown man tits this is what causes me depression and when i say im going to quit i just come back and at the end of the tow weeks on steam i end up having 100-200+ hours, but at the end of the day i go school and theres nothing to do at the end of the day acccept play cs go and go the gym every so often .. i hope you can really open up and tell me tmy fate and what i shiuld do 😀 thanks liam cross
@ Liam – Hey! Thanks for commenting. I definitely relate to you sharing about how you go to school and then game in your free time. I actually just wrote a big blurb about this here: http://gamequitters.com/challenge/ – You’ll see the part about obligations/responsibilities/free time, and the shift we need to make. Just reading the page should help you out a lot. Hope that helps!
Exciting news! Hey guys, over the years I’ve been asked many times to start a forum exclusively for us to connect as a community. So I finally have. Sign up below:
http://forum.gamequitters.com
We’d love to have you and although we *just* started it, other gamers who have quit or are in the process of if are posting their stories.
I’d love for you to sign up and then introduce yourself.
Have a great day!
– Cam
Hi guys,
If you are worried about gaming addiction than leave multilayer games like cs:go,minecraft and many more.
Do this:
Take a game complete all missions and delete it or give it to your mates.
It will help make yourself friends.
It 2ill help you leave playing games every time.
Never go online make high self-esteem
among social friends and not among online friends.
This will help you if really want to quit games.
Leave online and play variety of games.
See what the world has made for you,
Observe various games.
This will reduce addiction do much
Cam,
Great article! Amazing to see how relevant it is today, as it was when this was first written. Also, how many people seem to be like you and I going through the same issues. For me. The biggest gap it filled was the escapism…. I was an old Starcraft players, then got back into LoL… Quitting now for good… I hope.
I needed this as an eye opener, the time spent truly is a waist and does help you to achieve any true measurable skills. I have a young family now, and further more would hate to set a bad example for them.
Wish I could help others stop too!
Shaun
@ Shaun – Hey! Thanks for commenting. Really happy you enjoyed the article. It’s crazy how relevant the article remains over the years. I’m so glad it’s been able to be a voice for our community. So many of us are in this together with you. I hope you’ll join the forums and participate in the community. We’ve got your back and you have an ability to help give back too!
If you’re looking for help to take that next step, grab a copy of Respawn. It will you gain more of the clarity this article did. The YouTube videos I have will as well.
Hope you have a great day!
ok, who ever wrote this is a complete moron…im just in to the first part and I can tell all you are is a load of undesirable complaints…video games are meant to keep our minds off the bad things in life, its a way to escape life for the limit you have
@ Skylar – Hey, thanks for commenting. Life isn’t meant to be “escaped”… it’s meant to be inspiring and lived to the fullest. 😉
I totally agree with Skylar.
People spend thousands of dollars for games.
Games are best for of entertainment.
See if you take a pc you spend around $1000 on it to work for 4 years.
It means around .5 dollars a day which is cheap than a movie ticket.
Games are Fun,Games take us away from
bad sociality and give us high self esteem.
If you play games and win against your friends,Yhey will respect you.
Games are greatest invention of man that’s why mostrich people play them.
-Peter
My mistake it is most best people not mostrich people in last line.
@ Peter – Thanks for commenting. This article isn’t about whether or not games are fun or good to play. It’s about helping those who *WANT* to quit playing games, regardless of why they want to do that, and giving them real solutions to move forward in their life.
If you want to play games, you can play games, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with games, but I do think if someone *WANTS* to quit, they deserve help to do so. 🙂
Hey Cam,
its allright between me and my wife – my comment was just an outburst of rage … I’ll try to find some time to check your new forum 🙂
@ Marcus – Hey! Happy to hear things are going ok. Would love to have you join us on the forum 🙂
I would love to quit gaming and get to real life, but the thing is i dont have anything to do.
Belive me, i live 10km from any ppl. I used to workout , i had a great app on my phone, but i sadly lost my phone and weird as it sounds i stopped working out and didnt have any motivation for it anymore… So anything i can do couse i`m usually alone compared to gaming is just….
What can i do?
@ Vex – Hey! Thanks for commenting! Many of us have trouble to find new activities, it’s the #1 problem we all have actually. But the good news is there are solutions to it.
Here are a few things you want to do:
1. Download 60+ New Hobby Ideas here: http://gamequitters.com/hobby-ideas/
2. Watch the videos on this channel: https://goo.gl/Dgd0kk (They will give you many ideas of how to deal with quitting games.)
3. Sign up for the forum here and post your question to the group. You’ll get a lot of ideas from them too! http://forum.gamequitters.com
You’re not alone, we’re all in this together. 🙂
Hey,
yesterday was the last day of my big challenge.
I didn’t play any video game for one year!!
Now I didn’t turn into a fit looking chick magnet just by quitting games.
But I literally had no quick escape from problems and had to face every single one.
I learned important life lessons that I have evaded all my life.
I learned the meaning discipline, patience and endurance. Now I know how to set realistic goals and pursue them even during hard times. Learned alot about women too 😉 no over top success but I got an idea of what it is like to interact with someone I’m keen on, what to expect and how important it truly is what others think of you (it doesn’t matter because because everyone else is thinking only of themselves)
I could improve my psychological pain by facing my problems and I recovered from bad experiences I never thought I’d never forget.
Thanks for everything and have a great day.
Farewell!!
@ Mitsu3 – Hey! Thanks for coming back and sharing your update! That is fantastic news! I’m really proud of you, one year without gaming is a huge accomplishment you should feel proud of yourself for making it happen! Have a great day!
Some good advice.
But it really, really, REALLY bothers me that you keep saying video games are ‘addicting’. The word is ADDICTIVE. Not addicting. A habit can’t be ‘addicting’.
Just as people are now seriously starting to say ‘on accident’ when they mean BY accident.
Or ‘dominate’ when they mean mean DOMINANT (i.e. ‘It’s a sativa dominate strain of cannabis’).
I’ll show myself out.
@ Michael – Thanks for the feedback. I’ll try to keep that in mind for the future. 🙂
Hi Cam,
I just re-read my last comment. God, I sound like an asshole. I’m sorry about that.
I should have commented on how great and helpful your article was (instead of ranting like a smug, anonymous grammar-douche). My apologies.
M.
@ Michael – No problem man! Hope you have a great day today. 🙂
I’ve been addicted to video games for years. It DID help me discover my passion (programming), but I’m concerned that it’s just become a gateway for me to procrastinate, and it’s odd, because I know I should change, and genuinely want to, I just don’t know what I’d do without them
@ Sayed – Hey! Thanks for commenting. That’s a common issue we all run into. The key is to identify that your intuition is right and if you want to move on from games you’ll need to identify what else you’ll do instead. Check out the resources in the article, they will help you a lot.
Also, you’ll find a lot of the answers you’re looking for on my YouTube channel: https://goo.gl/Dgd0kk
And you can join us on the Forums if you want: http://forum.gamequitters.com
Hope to have you join us! 🙂
Hi Cam,
I just watched your TedX talk, read this article, and seeing that you recently replied and were still active I thought I’d leave a comment.
I’m 25 now, in my final semester of University (college), and have played video games all my life. My teen years in a nutshell were Diablo 2, Guild Wars and Lord of the Rings Online. I racked up 4k hours in Guild Wars alone in the 7 years of playing it – probably a similar amount of time was spent playing Diablo.
Now I’m sat here only just getting my degree, having been working part-time as a god damn washer-upper for 6 years now, feeling like a failure. I find it hard to regret those years of gaming, as I enjoyed it so much and achieved so much in the games – even getting to #3 in the world for one PvP mode in Guild Wars. But as I’m sure you’ll know, that all counts for shit. I could have been where I want to be in life already if I had used that time wisely.
Before starting University 2 years ago I didn’t own a console for a year and had kinda gone off gaming. But then just as my semester started, I got into PC gaming and spent a combined 500 hours in about 5-6 months playing Path of Exile and Total War: Rome 2.
This year I’d been quite casual with my gaming – only being drawn to linear indie games which I couldn’t play for long periods. But then I found Hearthstone, and very quickly found myself sucked into an addiction all over again. Fast forward a few weeks and there I am with several YouTube subscriptions I’d watch daily to better myself at the game, bookmarks of Decks to try out, and a spreadsheet open on my second monitor of the cards I needed to collect. I took a step back and thought, WTF am I doing here? I must have had the desire to quit, uninstalled and then reinstalled again atleast 5 times before thankfully I found the game no longer fun and quit it for good.
My University course is a fast-track degree, meaning I have a year less to do it, and only this last 3 month semester to write my entire dissertation and complete an advanced group project (which regular undergraduates get a full year to do). Yet there I was getting sucked into Path of Exile again, wasting an entire month and a half of this already limited time and being massively behind on my work.
This is the final hurdle for me before I graduate and finally get my life back on track, and I’m close to ruining it over stupid video games again. I feel like it’s time to just quit cold turkey, as you did, and uninstall everything. Unfortunately it won’t be as easy as selling my console(s), as I need my PC.
I’m about to read through your article on hobbies to replace it, but I feel I should be OK in that regard. I like to read often (which started with self-help/improvement books), and I’ve always wanted to become good at drawing (mainly digitally) and learn the piano. The trouble is, gaming was always so much easier. It takes no effort to sit down and pick up a controller.
Here’s to hopefully a fresh start in my life. Thanks for your inspiration, and I hope you continue to spread the message about video game addiction, as it’s such as serious and widespread issue among a group of people who just won’t want to speak up about it.
Oh, one thing I forgot throughout all that waffling was my strong desire and reason to quit. The following line in your follow-up article resonates with me: “Even though I had fun playing games I wasn’t happy.”
I’d waste hours away playing games, yet as soon as I’m done I just feel empty, and feel regret. It’s the realisation that through many years of playing games, they’ve never left me feeling truly happy and fulfilled, and given me nothing of value to show for my time.
That’s why I’m sure I won’t ever go back to them. What I will miss most is games like Skyrim. Reading fiction allows you to imagine new worlds, but they don’t offer you the chance to build your own stories and explore on your own terms. My hope is that one day I can be good enough at drawing to express my imagination through art.
@ Dan – Hey man! Thanks for watching the talk and then coming by here to read the article and leaving your comment! Love seeing new comments after so many years.
It’s important not to regret the time you’ve spent gaming. It’s about recognizing that it was a chapter you had in your life that meant something to you and now you’re moving on to something else. (Watch this video for more on that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5jnmwt5Q9w)
Everything about your message shows the right attitude and mindset to be successful moving forward. Now you just want to implement the key takeaways and in times of self-doubt about the process, come back and read your comment to remind yourself of why it’s important for you to move forward from gaming.
Gaming was a part of your life and you’ll look back on it as something that meant something to you, but now you’re in a different place with different priorities and goals and gaming isn’t serving you to get there. Let me know if I can help at all!
– Cam
Liked you said, I came indeed to the right place, after 27 years as a gamer I’ve decided I’ve had enough, videogames have already leeched a lot out of my life and I’m strongly determined to end it, my biggest concern is to be able to find something powerful enough to do that will keep me from relapsing, I’m not gonna lie, I’m scared to leave them but this time I’m dead serious about it, this will be perhaps my biggest challenge to date, so wish me luck and thanks for this.
@ Andy – Glad you enjoyed the article. Excited to follow your journey, I’m here for you man. 🙂
I’m guessing I’m one of your oldest readers and female to boot! I’ve played as long as I remember, since discovering Space Invaders in the late 70’s… I lie! I played pong before that. Asteroids… I fear to count the number of hours, years, that have been eaten away by nothing. Wrist injuries, all nighters for weeks on end, I’ve even made my hand bleed on a broken arcade machine. And I’ve tried all sorts of addiction breaking routines which have helped a bit but my brain continually pulls me back to game when things get a little hard, a little slow and I want to escape. Now, I’ve just had enough. Thank you so much, every Google I’ve done has kinda downplayed, I think, how serious a threat to my good life these games are for me. I’ve wiped them all from my hdd, I’ve given myself a list of simple wins to turn to when the need pulls me. Cold turkey doesn’t frighten me at all, I walk, run, towards it feeling so good about tomorrow. Thank you.
@ Pippa – Hey! Thanks for commenting! Always great to have more female readers (there are more females who struggle with this gaming problem than most people think!) You’ve got this! Hope you have a great day 🙂
I am back after quitting video games.Cam,i played for 12 hours and now I don’t know wjat to do in that hours.I read hobbies and am on learning Spanish language and writing a stories(I have completed one story on James Bond.)Other Hobbies too but these hobbies have a time,i can not do them for 9 big hours while video games were available 24*7.
I don’t have friends.I watched your videos but still i have this problem.
You know,i searched a lot about games and hardware making me a xomputer expert but I can not find such friends who can accompany me.
About your videos,well,I think you should use more graphics and be even more pleasant and gentle.
@ Ashish – Hey! Take the 9 hours you spend gaming and break them into smaller blocks. 9 hours = 1 hour 9 times. Schedule your time one hour at a time and it’s much easier. Try this: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-use-google-calendar-to-take-your-lifestyle-to-the-next-level/
Finding friends who are good at computers is easy. Go to http://meetups.com and find any that relate to programming. There’s many!
I’ll try to make the improvements to my videos. Still learning all the video editing stuff. 🙂
hi there,
dude, u rock, hard.
WOW is actually killing me, and tormenting me everyday.
i have few things to say here:
1- i like that u rock in everything u do, even quieting. ( maybe cuz of challenger personality )
2- u’r maybe the only guy i saw on internet that wrote something worth reading.
3- gaming factors are all true and i, as a gamer, approve of them all people.
4- wish u rock rest of your life to the other side dude.
@ Mr. Wolf – Hey! Thanks for commenting! Really happy to hear you enjoyed it. Even though this can be a scary time, you can make a lot of progress if you focus on the steps outlined here and on YouTube: http://youtube.com/channel/UCTbbu5C5sq9VStQD2gvIN_g
Hope you have a great day! Let me know if I can help at all 🙂
Glad to see the comments on this article still going. It just goes to show how many people feel this way. I feel you articulated well the feelings I have been having recently towards gaming.
My gaming (hobby/pastime/habit/career/addiction) started on my dad’s old Tandy when I was about 5 years old. The particular games I remember playing first were JetPack, Lotus, and Hexen, which I mention purely for nostalgia’s sake.
I have spent countless hours (days/months/years) playing games. Very early on I found a game called warzone 2100 that quickly took over my childhood. I naturally discovered CS, C&C, UT, WC, the works. Then, halfway through my freshman year of high school, World of Warcraft was released. As I’m sure anyone reading this can probably relate, it is not hard to imagine the years of /played I have spent since then. I frequently come and go between “uninstall everything” and “where did last week go?”. Now, at age 27, I’m starting to take a hard look at myself. These days, my game has been League of Legends (probably 1000 hours spent in the last year).
I have always found it easy to justify my time spent playing as some sort of valuable skill. However, the reality I am faced with is that these skills really are not transferable to everyday life.
I have made the decision to stop playing games, for real. I have so many other goals in life that I fear I won’t reach if I keep playing games.
So basically, add +1 to your list of people inspired by your post.
@ Jim – Hey Jim! Thanks for leaving your comment! I’m also 27! I’d recommend for you to watch this video on how the skills you’ve developed in gaming can help you now that you’ve quit. I bet you’ll find it valuable: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wngVZR8ISBU
Let me know if I can help at all! 🙂
Hey Cam, love the article
I’m starting to have a strong urge to quit gaming, but at the same time, i have a big desire to stay with it. The thing is, I have been playing video games for 5 years straight now, and this means video games are the only thing i know in life, and are the only thing I’m truly skilled at. To just decide to quit video games after all the experience I’ve had, and after all the fun. It’s just so difficult. Because at the same, I know that video games hold me back from talking to people, getting a job, making friends, getting out of the house etc. So what am i supposed to do, just quit gaming and start from scratch all over again to live a normal life, even after gaming is all that I have become skilled in?
@ John – Hey! Thanks for commenting, stoked you enjoyed the article. The problem you speak of is one I experienced too and many others. The thing is, quitting games doesn’t mean all the skills you’ve learned from games is going away, it just means you are redirecting the skills you’ve developed in gaming to something else, like improving your social skills, job, etc. So that’s #1.
Next, you want to be honest that continuing to game and continuing to develop your “gaming skills” isn’t going to get you any closer to the other things. So when does enough become enough? Only you know. But this has to do with the sunk cost fallacy and loss aversion, the latter describes how you’d prefer to avoid losses (the skills you’ve developed, time you’ve spent in games) instead of acquiring gains (friends, job, etc..).
Watch these two videos, they will help:
1) What To Do If Gaming Is The Only Thing You’re Good At: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wngVZR8ISBU
2) How The Sunk Cost Fallacy Keeps You Playing Games: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5jnmwt5Q9w
Hope that helps! Looking forward to an update from you in the future. 🙂
Thank you!
If this works i will come thank you again after 5 years for saving my life. I’ve been playing 6hours-12hours everyday past 5 years. really? You think how im still alive and not dead? i cant even answer on that because i just think i lost 1life from my 3 lifes.
10.9.2015 RIP games forever thank you thats the thing ive been trying to do every 2 months but never made it, but now i will!
I need to add something what id like to tell and i got question also. When i was 8 years old i jumped into runescape i was like locked inside of it my parents tought i dont have any problems with games till i was 11 years old my mom said ” you have problems” And how the hell is that supposed to help? of course i tell her no i dont have problems, of course i told her so because i knew i have problems. I started playing call of duty’s and i always tried to be better than my friends they took it as a game. When they went outside and had fun i kept playing so i could be better than them in fking video game that ruined my life! i just calculated i started playing games when i was 8 now im 16… Omg guys every year almost every day 5-12hours gaming. Now i dont know what should i do to keep not playing on pc i have most problems on games that i know. my friends no one has problems with games but i get anger issues from game’s i cant control my anger, im afraid to tell any one about it because i think its like if i tell some one they make me take some pill’s and then my mom will know that im not that angel friendly son that never hurts any one… I used my time on pc when i was bored/mad/sad/everytime. When my parents broke up i went to play pc games 4 hours later like WHAT THE FUCK?! that i will regret my whole life my mom was sad and i was playing some fking games! But pls answer to me, what should i do? i want to get best plan ever, i will never want to touch any games again! MY FIRST GAME RUINED MY LIFE
@ Gameruinslife – Hey! Thanks for commenting. All of the questions you mentioned are common ones many others have asked over the years.
Here is the plan you want to follow:
1) Choose new activities to do instead of gaming. (If you need ideas: http://gamequitters.com/hobby-ideas)
2) Join a support community. (Ours: http://forum.gamequitters.com)
3) Check out the videos on YouTube. 32+ videos, answers to all your common questions: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq
Hope that helps! We’re all in this together, we’ve got your back.
– Cam
This article is great and inspirational!But i wish i didn’t have to spend $7 to buy your guide!
@ Debalina – Hey! Thanks for reading. Happy you liked the article. If you don’t want to spend $7 to support me supporting you here’s 34+ videos to watch for free: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq
😉
videogames is my everything ,is the best of my life… shut up Cam Adair
@ George – Lol that wasn’t very nice. If you want to game you can game, but if someone doesn’t want to game and they want help, they deserve help. 😛
It took me a lot of time to realize that it’s the social part that keeps drawing me back to a certain online game where people appreciate me for my skills, which is a feeling I’m missing in my current everyday life, but to improve I have to quit, thanks for the great article ^^
@ Mohamed – Hey! Thanks for commenting. What’s amazing is that once we realize why we’ve been so drawn to something, we now have the power to approach it differently. Check out meetup groups and things like that. Also this video will help you a lot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoQJ1RfPQko
not to be hyper critical because i am in no shape or form a journalist, but i just thought this article was too long. Too much information that i didn’t really need. Again these are my opinions so take them as such. I didn’t need to read about his gaming career and he didn’t have to prove to me why he’s credible. Just say you were once an intense gamer, and I think that would be enough to get to your point. I agreed with everything said, but i was going through a TL;DR moment halfway through and just scrolled down to see if he actually told me HOW to quite play video games. Not WHY i should. I get why i should quit, that’s why I’m here… The best thing i did for myself to quit was to literally delete all the gaming software on my computer, such as steam and what not, and also physically remove my console into a box and put it into a closet. Sure, you could say i’m wasting my money with my console just sitting in a box, but i wasn’t using my ps4 for netflix or chatting or something like that, let’s be real, i was using it for gaming. having the console at arms reach just let me switch on the ps4 just so i could “play for 30 mintues.” Likewise for steam and software on my computer.
@ Kevin – Hey. Thanks for commenting and leaving your feedback. I definitely understand where you’re coming from. In my experience (especially when I wrote this article) I found a lot of the advice out there on this subject was written about by people who weren’t actually gamers, so I wanted gamers to know I was truly one of them. I’m not sure if just saying “intense gamer.” Of course the benefit of an article is that you can skip ahead as you wish. Good job deleting your games and steam and all of that. It’s an important step to breakthrough the “sunk cost fallacy” and “loss aversion” that can sometimes keep us playing even though we don’t want to. This video talks more about that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5jnmwt5Q9w
This article describes my situation precisely. I always feel like running away from the responsibilities and play video games. I’m an international student which clearly depicts that Im here all alone in a foreign country. I always had a hard time making friends here and the stress of exams, oh boy I would just play games to avoid the stress which is so stupid of me. Yeah, limiting game time doesn’t help at all. I ended up playing more coz its easy to break the promise you make to yourself. I just downloaded 60+ new hobby ideas hope that would help and if all goes well then uninstall steam as well. Thank you for sharing Cam.
@ Tanvir – Hey! Thanks for commenting (and purchasing Respawn – it means a lot!) Let me know if I can help at all. You’ve got this. 🙂
I am writting this laying next to a sleeping and stunningly gorgeous brunette whom i am delighted to call my girlfriend. I am the guy who everyone refers to as the healthiest person they know, i have developed my social skills so well that i now work for a bank making conversation on a wage people normally dont reach until 40. But let me tell you… it definitely wasnt this way, not even close and i still have ways to go.
***If you dont want my life story read the last two paragraphs only.***
I have just decided to break my awful addiction once and for all, i am going to sell my xbox and pc over the next two weeks and it will be the last nail i place on that cursed coffin of escapism, false justifications, lies and hours upon hours of hollowed-soulless information learnt. I will keep it as a timeline to keep it short if you want to know how i got here then feel free to explore;
I started 14 years ago (age 10)… runescape..you know the kid who still had what the doctors call “puppy fat” until 13, yeah, that. Hitting early teenage years girls became a “thing”… maybe fir the other boys but not chubby cheeks mcgee over here. I knew i wasnt doing something as right as i should be back here but i had no idea…
then it was halo 2 at 14, i got smarter and was able to beat almost everyone i vsed up to state grade comps… 10 hours a day average its all i cared about. I was so conpetitive i stopped getting invited to LAN birthdays because the other kids hated being beaten so bad… major depression settled in i knew i needed more from my life i knew i needed to be happy not sad. I learnt what it is to crave change. No, not that jangley stuff in your pocket, i needed hardcore life-altering, ground-breaking change. I watched the people i looked up to, sports was the answer obvious as day itself. I started 4 sports;ice hockey, MMA, trampolining and soccer.
16 Cod, Halo, you put a first person shooter here and i will consume it like meth to an addict 10 hours a day and 18 on weekends, i had a good years run without games and chubby mcgee was eliminated but was replaced with a self concious depressed kid that struggled to stay awake in school because he spent his sleep time 360 no-scoping the noobletts to escape reality.
I quit again at 17 i ran away from an abusive household and got into uni purely out of some creative work with my school councilor and making the most of a bad home situation turning it into government sponsorship. The seed of change had bloomed i had learnt so much about social skills I could talk to people and girls i never thought i would even have the confidence to look at. I studied and met so many great people and did so many amazing things.
League of Legends happened age 18, did a friend get me onto it? Did it spontaneously appear? I dont know anything outside that golden L on my desktop which i would click every time i git a chance, i even found a way to do it at uni.. I lost friends, failed Uni courses and thought myself a failure.
Age 19 – I met the love of my life whilst working at the local supermarket to put myself through uni (guys dont make for good strippers at 19 ive been told), she came through my register and i couldnt keep my eyes off her. She chose me, i was confident and had just dialled back the games and started studying hard in business and sociology.
TL:DR
I am now 23, looking better than ever from my efforts at the gym, i have the best girl in the world, am earning more than my dad in wages and can speak to anyone and make a friend (practically do it for a living). I have learnt so much the last few years and each time it has been when i put down the games and picked up something else (thankfully not an STI). It all works out of you set your mind to something, see how others do it and let nothing, not even yourself get in the way. I am still battling to this day but will continues to do so.
Wow, 4 years… i want anyone who reads this to just take in the significance of this article. So socially valid and fueled by empathetic individuals that it has stayed alive for four years. Thank you so much for writting such a compelling piece!
@ EvanW – Hey! It’s awesome to see how far you’ve come. Your story will inspire others who are at the beginning of their journey to keep going. Thanks for sharing!
It’s really crazy how this article has evolved over the years, from the article to the TEDx talk and now it’s an entire community at Game Quitters (http://gamequitters.com). Who would have thought one silly article would blow up into something like this? I had no idea! But it’s cool to be able to share and help others grow into the best versions of themselves. 🙂
Don’t ever try drugs.
Hey Cam! How have you been? I wanted to share a story about myself so you can please help me out just a little more. My name is Mark and I am a 14 year old freshman in High School. Ever since I was in Kindergarten, games have been one of my favorite things to watch and play. Middle School and High School have both been pretty fun experiences, but I’m not really the most social person in the world. I do have friends and I can somewhat talk to new people, but I do struggle with the opposite sex. I will elaborate on this later. My dad owned the original Xbox. When I came home from school I would play Halo 2 with him and I would play my favorite missions over and over again. Those were the days.Ever since release I have been playing a game called Destiny. It is an MMOFPS game that is, quite frankly, a drug. I keep coming back to the game because I want to keep progressing and making my character stronger than before. I want to go into the multiplayer and get the highest K/D ratio and shatter the competition. I desire to get gear with better stats and keep leveling up. It’s probably the most addicting game I have played so far. Since last year I have put in about 1,100 hours into the game. As I stated before, social situations in real life are something I try to avoid. I know I shouldn’t, but sometimes the conversations can get awkward or I just flat out run out of things to say. Those excess hours could have been put into hanging out with other people more often. I read this article a week ago and since then I have not touched my Xbox to play that game. Right now it is the weekend and I just CANNOT stop thinking about it. I gave the power cord to my mom last week so that I could really stop playing, but I have a regretful feeling inside of me. I gave a long speech to my mom about how I read this article and how I need to change, but as stated, I cannot get the game out of my head. Truthfully I do want to change, but I do not want to stop completely. Many of my High School friends play the game and I normally tag along with them in-game. Before I was probably putting in 6-10 hours a day on the weekends, but now I want to change that to maybe 2-3 hours on weekends only. I DO NOT play video games during the weekdays. Should I follow through with my plan? If so, what should I tell my mom after that speech I gave her about COMPLETELY quitting? Thanks for the help!
@ Mark – Hey! Thanks for commenting. First, you’re very articulate for your age, so I hope you are proud of that. Next, I’d recommend following through with the 90 day detox period from gaming. The urges and cravings you’re getting right now are NORMAL, and in my opinion it’s validation that you should *not* game because if you want to game that intensely, it has an influence on your life that is probably too much. Watch this video for more on dealing with cravings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjLmwn_0GWM
Can you join some new clubs instead? That will help you make some friends outside of gaming. Or you could hang out with your friends outside of games as well. Ask your mom to help you organize an event.
Remember that your life is the ultimate video game, so what would life look like if instead of building your destiny character, you built your OWN character, YOU. 🙂
Hi mark!
I know how you feel, i also played more halo than master chief and embarassingly more hours on destiny than i care to admit.
Mark what you have said and how you have written it tells me you’re smart and have a strong competitive spirit. You hunger for the challenge more than most and you likely know it from your results competeing against others. But let me tell you something else about yourself that I have learnt and benefited from. Games are not the ultimate way to test and indulge this skill and hunger.
It gives you the feeling that you are growing and developing and that you are besting others with what you know. But even if you were the best at this, top tier and never lost, how would you benefit? Sure you might win a tournament set up by some ambitious businessmen and earn some prize money from their pockets, but thats where it ends. Beating your friends in games doesnt win over your friends or the ladies, they dont care of you win or lose. Beating the world at games is the same. I want you to remember this next time you crave pvp or try to get a new item before a friend.
Here is your issue, you alread know this and you are still struggling to break the addiction. What that means is that in your time spare you havent filled the void; competitive hunger, social, growth and measurement and an escape.
I strongly advise you look into Mark Manson (google his stuff), a smart man who promotes self development to help you get the ladies. Me and a few of my friends are living proof of the philosophy, develop your social skills, read things on picking up women (using tactful thinking), making good first impressions and gaining charisma. Dont spend any money doing it as a lot of this information is out there for free and is so much fun to learn.
If you are anything like me and my friends you will get excited to learn and use these skills to try and speak to the ladies and improve your conversational skills to get what you want in life.
Good luck Mark!
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Hello everyone
I’m still wondering what is going on.
I have been scanning the internet just few minutes ago and it seems the myths been spread by the video game industry are still held strong and repeated over and over by the same people under different pseudonyms.
I think I will lighten up some myths and give my personal opinion why it is nonsense.
1. the rumor that video games improve hand-eye coordination:
That is a good one here. Thing is, it only works for the video games you play. That will be one of the most given reasons why anything related to video games may not really work in real life. Because it is only that it works in the way you play a game.
2. better reflexes:
Just like #1 this only accounts for the video games you play because you become used to the situations that game confronts you with.
In real life driving a car is a whole different story than doing it in a simulator or video game.
People really have to re-learn the differences between virtual space and real life.
Being good at pressing a button on a pad in a specific game situation does not make you better at catching a ball in real life sports events.
As goes for #1 & #2:
The way you see and realize things coming at you are different in video games than in reality.
3. makes you more creative:
Again a big mouthed one.
It does not. Because you may become creative to solve situations and tasks in a video game has never anything to do with real life. Never.
Reality is way too different. Job situations, family situation, friends etc. There is never a situation in real life I thought to be found in a video game.
Video game situations are so limited compared to what can happen in reality that it makes me wonder why this myth keeps spread by video game industry and no serious scientific studies are ever done. (my personal guess is that it is a waste of time anyway)
Also video game situations are often times unrealistic to even begin with.
There are simulations and sometimes situations in video games that are meant to resemble a ‘realistic’ encounter’. But that is it. It only tries to simulate something yet never comes close.
And we are in 2015 now where video games are meant to be more realistic than in 2010. But far off we are.
4. it makes you better in socializing:
Really?
The only way to be good at being social as much as you can is to be in touch with real people in real environments.
There is nothing better than that.
Sitting in front of your computer screen and coordinating each other to solve a virtual combat situation is not about socializing. It is about playing a video game.
Maybe in the older days where LAN parties were a thing the social aspect was given to a certain degree.
But nowadays people play online, talking to people they aren’t real friends with. Playing video games with people one can never tell if those people were ever to be invited into ones private home in reality.
And all the trolling and bullshit going on too.
In real life someone trolls you you kick him out. On the internet the trolls are allowed to persist and keep trolling.
Sometimes I think trolling is THE real social face of internet communication. But that is another story to be told in another place.
Video games do not teach you about how political situations work out. So only reality can teach you anything you need to know.
Video games do not teach you about how to handle real injuries in a realistic way.
Video games do not tell you about your rights and responsibilities when you ram another car in traffic. Video games do not teach you how to drive properly.
Video games do not teach you how to treat pets correct.
Video games do not teach you how to treat other people correct.
Video games do not teach you how to react towards highly religious nut jobs.
Video games do not tell you how to make a difference between right and wrong.
To sum it up:
Playing video games only makes you good in playing video games. It also depends what kind of video games you play.
I know that because I was a person to play ALL sorts of games, genres etc.
Yet reality always has different rules. ALWAYS! Keep that in mind folks.
Video games are only meant to entertain you. Not to teach you.
Greetings form Germany
Michael
@ Michael – Great to hear from you as always. You’re definitely right about the myths. For example, sure, gaming helps you with hand-eye coordination, but so does juggling. Who cares!
Come join us on the forum if you want, the community is growing! (http://forum.gamequitters.com)
Hi CAM
I will look up the forum at a weekend coming soon or when I take on my New Year Vacation.
Not that far from now anymore.
Thanks for the invitation. I’ll be there.
Greetings
Hello Cam !! 🙂
note : i will post all the dates of my previous posts at the end of my msg, in case you feel like checking lol
So…. i said alot of things ; things i said i would do, things i said i would stop doing.
I did some of them, but then i ”fell” again… and re-bought the Ps3 (but this time the super slim model, because they didnt sell the regular slim anymore, and it bugged me because it was my fav lol).
Anyway… now im selling it soon, and this time wont be re-buying it…, want to know why ?
Well… i bought the PS4 O_o i knooooww i know lol, but what is coming is interesting (kinda, i think… ).
The last time i posted was more than a year ago, and since then, i got a new/better job. I got regular hours, a better pay, and most importantly, i like my job. (we all get tired from time to time but thats normal lol).
So… like i said, i bought the PS4 after it dropped in price, and i bought 2 games ; one was part of the deal, and the other i bought separetly.
The game i bought separatly is The Witcher 3.
When i was reading my previous post, saying things like ”i got selective”, and that games are so much bigger now, so much to do, so long to complete, etc, well, Witcher 3 is one of the biggest games i ever played so far and so… i got tired to play again, and not because its boring, but because there is so much to do, this game is like… you cannot just advance like you want, you have to level up and all kinds of things like that, and there is soooo many side quests its crazy… and so… i got tired/annoyed again, and guess what? i found myself taking breaks from playing it, but REAL natural breaks = a day and even 2-3 days in a row(in the past i couldnt do that).
In fact, today is i think the 5th day that i didnt turn on my PS4 xD
Also, the fact that like i said, that now i got a stable job, and that pays better, i finally got a Gym membership, and now im going to the gym 3 times a week (minimum), i even went 4 times. Tomorrow im meeting a personnal trainer, and were going to talk about programs, and if i feel like its worth it, i might get into a special program.
I feel like im ”detaching” myself more *naturally* from videogames now.
But i believe that to have found your article was the thing that gave me a boost at first. Because i felt like i wasnt alone struggling with this kind of thing.
About the gym, i have a feeling that it might become my new fav hobby ; im going after work, and sometimes 1 day from the weekend.
Having said that, i feel like i need to find something else to do, because i cant always be at the gym, its good for the health yes, but im sure you know what i mean.
Like i said i got the Ps4, but i might be able to only play some time now as like i said, im now going to the gym, but i also want to find something else to do, and so i think that it will only get better and better, and in time, i might drop the Ps4 completly, but for now, 5 days in a row of not playing… 😛 im kinda shocked, but it makes me smile.
Im also moving to another appartment soon, that might help too (environment change, etc).
I will end my message here(after a few questions lol), and again, im sorry for my english, i live in the province of Quebec 😉
Question : I read in a post that you were writting a book ? anything new on this ?
Also, do you think you will ever give some conferences in Ottawa some day ?
Thank you so so much for what you do.
Mylene
Posts :
-March 26, 2014 at 3:35 am, 4:17 am
-March 26, 2014 at 5:36 pm
-March 31, 2014 at 8:29 pm
-November 1, 2014 at 11:01 am *** (while i was reading that one, mostly near the end, i can my struggle…)
-November 2, 2014 at 5:43 pm, 6:00 pm
-November 5, 2014 at 8:29 pm
-November 6, 2014 at 8:10 pm
-November 8, 2014 at 9:21 pm, 9:38 pm** (some things i said there made me smile, like the ”need to get more XP in real” thing.)
I am glad to see this is still going!
I feel like my situation is a little different. I do a lot of activities, and don’t have a ton of free time (but I have enough). The problem is with homework, I use the little free time to play a game instead of doing homework. I am NOT even close to being a “hardcore gamer ” as I am not very good at gaming and people are shocked when they hear how little time I actually spend on it, yet how much I like it. I used to be a straight a student, but now I have Cs! My brother has the same problem, only he is a hardcore gamer and spends many more hours, plus he doesn’t feel like it’s a problem. I do. But I don’t know how to approach it, as I am not extremely into video games, I just waste enough time on it to where its a problem. I treat video games differently than a lot of people I know. For me, it’s like reading a book- I like to be entertained by the story and the interactivity is a super bonus, because you can’t interact with a book. It’s as if I am the person in the story. I only really like local multiplayer because for me it’s like a board game that no one can cheat at. That’s how I view it, and with this non-hardcore view, it can be hard to stop using what little time I have. Any thoughts?
@ Mylene – Hey! Good to hear your update, sorry I missed this earlier. I am working on a book and I share all of the updates for it on the gamequitters.com newsletter, so make sure you sign-up on there. I currently have all of my best content in a ebook + video course called Respawn which is available here: http://gamequitters.com/respawn
I hope to speak in Ottawa soon. I post all of my upcoming gigs on the newsletter so when you see Ottawa in there make sure you reply and we will meetup. 🙂
@ Anonymous – Hey! Thanks for sharing. Going strong 4 years later. For me it totally comes down to whether gaming is a positive or not in your life. In my situation it was having a negative impact so I decided to quit. This is completely up to you. I think you’ll learn a lot from my YouTube videos so I would recommend to start there: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq
Hey Cam! Good to see you again! I need some emotional help right now. I’m a freshman in High School and am a member of the marching band. While in the band I came across a sophomore that instantly became my crush. I talked to her a little bit and I even obtained her phone number! Recently, a girl that I sit with at lunch told me something that I found very strange. She said, “So… have you talked to any sophomores lately?” I didn’t really know how to respond to this, so I just said no and chuckled at her. About a month later I started thinking about that incident for some reason while at my house. The next day at lunch I started asking her why she said that. She started avoiding me and telling me that it’s a secret. I kept begging her to tell me what was going on, but she never cracked. For a couple of days I was very frustrated and just wanted her to finally say something, but she never did. Today I got really upset about it and just sat away from my table. My friends came to where I was sitting to support me and ask me about my dilemma. At first I wasn’t very open about it, but then I started telling them why I was acting this way. I used the restroom and came back to the table where we normally sit at. The girl who knew the secret told me everything she knew, everything she kept from me. Honestly, I wish I had never said anything. Apparently my crush told her that she has been trying to avoid me and my text messages and how she doesn’t like me. My heart sank and I struggled to talk. I left after that and have been upset and embarrassed ever since. I’ve pretty much been rejected, and it hurts. I pictured so many happy moments with this girl at a school dance, band performance, homecoming, or whatever. Now this will never happen. I’m crushed and really embarrassed to be around her. Can you give me some advice? Thank you!
@ Mark – Hey! Good to hear from you. I definitely relate to your situation, been there many times myself. So there are a few things you need to do.
First, it is OK to feel the emotions you are feeling. It means you have a heart and genuinely care, which are really good qualities – so be proud of that. The “pain” will go away if you don’t numb your emotions and instead, feel them fully and let them be. I’d recommend journaling, writing and meditating to help that. You can keep a journal on the forum (http://forum.gamequitters.com).
Next, you need to reframe. You feel what you focus on, so if you focus on how “all of these things aren’t going to come true” then you will feel pain, whereas if you focus on how this experience is helping you grow to be stronger and more resilient, it will empower you.
It’s important to reframe because when we have experiences like this we create “stories” about what they mean about us. You think your rejection means you are not good enough, or that girls don’t like you, or anything else like that… but that’s just a story you’re making up, it’s not ACTUALLY TRUE. So you need to reframe and create a different story. What a brave and courageous thing you did to ask a girl for her number. It didn’t work out and that’s ok, and you should be proud of yourself for being so courageous in the first place! Keep being courageous, too many people live in fear and being hurt and rejected that they never put themselves out there to experience what they desire. You did and even if it didn’t work out, you should continue being courageous in the future. Live from a place of courage not from a place of fear.
Finally, if you haven’t seen my TEDx talk on rejection, watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsT5eV_m7BA
Hope that helps. Stay strong my man, you’ve got this. A good book to read would be Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. You can also check out The Guide (For Men): http://www.theguidefor.me/
Hello. Quitting games is something I finally want to do. Playing games with my older brother is one of my oldest memories its just who i am. But, I am now 26 and realize its not getting me anywhere in life spending money on hardware and software for this false idea of who I am. I feel like I am betraying myself and everyone who knows me by stopping gaming. Almost everyone I know plays. Moving around schools when I was younger, gaming was the only thing I felt comfortable talking to new kids about to make friends.
I’ve spent literally 10000+ hours in gaming easily throughout the years. Cod4mw I had over 2400. Day of defeat about 2000. Battlefield series about 1000. That’s 3 games on PC alone not to mention the countless others throughout all the different game systems over the years. I own 239 games on steam. Almost 100 through the various handheld and console generations. What do i do with all this stuff? Most of it is valuable and a lot is all I have of memories from growing up in a broken home.
I’m honestly afraid to stop gaming because i could forget who I am and have an identity crisis and possibly end up in a mental institution. I am not joking. I know I need to stop though. Literally I HAVE to stop because I recently developed carpel tunnel syndrome in both hands do to all the gaming. That and the last job I had (worked for 11 1/2 months there) was in a factory using an air grinder for 8 hours a day. After that I did production welding brazing pipes in the same factory. After I got layed off my gaming time tippled and I spent almost 36 hours in under 3 days on a new expansion pack release for path of exile. It was then when I had unbearable pain in my hands like suddenly all the years of gaming finally caught up. I wear braces on both hands all day everyday. If I game on the PC say, an fps like rainbow six siege, the shooting pain I get lasts for days and I can barely even browse the web….
This is why I know I have to stop. 100% Stop. If I dont i risk completely ruining my hands and almost any future career. What can I do when I’m in so deep that my entire persona is centered around gaming? Everyone in my family, my friends, all know me as the gamer who has played everything and the go to for questions. Please help as I know no one who has as much time in gaming as I do and can not understand how deep in the rabbit hole I’ve gone.
@ Brandon – Hey Brandon! Thanks for sharing! Having your entire sense of community in games can be a challenge for sure, but it’s one you CAN overcome. I have a video that will help you with that here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoQJ1RfPQko
Having a ton of games is common. Here is what you need to do with them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5jnmwt5Q9w
To quit, there are a few essential steps you need to take. Being worried about losing that sense of identity is normal and something many of us experienced too. But just like it can be scary, it can also be an amazing opportunity for you to reinvent yourself, and create a new, better life for yourself.
I’d encourage you to pick-up Respawn, which is the guide I put together that will help you quit successfully and start creating a new (better) life for yourself, without being bored, relapsing, losing all of your friends, etc. You can get it here: http://gamequitters.com/respawn/
Hope that helps. Let me know if you have any questions. I’ve got your back.
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Hello! Thanks for making this article, it’s really helpful to see other people addressing the issue. I’m 16 and have recently given up video games for almost 2 weeks. I just have one question which I do know you’ve addressed many times, but I would like your take on it. Giving up video games hasn’t been hard in the least, but now, Christmas break is starting and I’m going to have 2 weeks with much less to do. I have endeavored to reading some really good books, including one coding book to develop my coding skill. The issue is, with this much free time, I highly doubt reading, coding, learning to solve a rubik’s cube, and watching some Youtube is going to keep my occupied enough.
@ Ray – Hey! Thanks for commenting. Good job on getting to two weeks so far. That’s a big accomplishment even if it seems like just a few days.
To answer your question, I just recorded a video about how to avoid gaming over the holidays, which you can see here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8U3G0QRxd4
The main thing is to make sure you set a schedule for yourself – have a daily agenda. When you are at school you have a lot of structure, and over the winter break you lose that, so you need to make sure you set it again yourself.
Hi Cam!
Great article, much better than other articles on video game addiction.
I’ve been off video games now for 2 years (cold turkey).
When I played video games (GTA V online) it was mostly an escape from reality, I could do things I couldn’t do in real life. Like you mentioned I saw ‘progress’ measurable achievements and feedback on how well I was doing in-game.
In real life it all meant nothing. It seemed ok though at times it felt empty, the stimulation rush would set in, I would play more to get another rush. Its a horrible feeling. After I stopped playing it felt like coming out of a trance.
Even now the urge is still present to some degree. Is there a way to resolve the inner urges to play?
thanks
Dan
@ Dan – Thanks for commenting! Congrats on being 2 years off gaming, that’s a big accomplishment. Urges will come and go over time. If you’ve been off gaming for 2 years, I’d encourage you to consider whether it’s just nostalgia. These two videos can help you:
How To Deal With Cravings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjLmwn_0GWM
How To Deal With Gaming Nostalgia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBJeuyo8p_s
Ever since I was young (talking year 1 in primary school) I have played computer games (coming onto about 16 years worth of gaming), I played Dune2000 then age of empires 2, then a whole series of MMOs, starcraft, counterstrike (you name it I probably played it) and I knew it was bad but it was all I really knew to do to have fun. I tried quitting about 2 years ago when I looked at how many hours steam had said I put into various games but failed miserably, reading this has given me the motivation to try again and though I can think of activities to replace the important points mentioned above, the social side for me is going to be very difficult. I don’t really know anyone except those who I play or have played computer games with (nor really have ever done my whole life), and my evenings (until early hours in the morning) have usually always consisted of a skype call and various games I played with friends. To be blunt I really don’t know how to be social otherwise nor do I enjoy other social activities. When I tried last time round I still kept in touch with my friends who through peer pressure got me to play a few here and there and before I knew it I was back into old habits… If I do cut contact with my friends that game then I haven’t got anyone to socialise with making replacing that aspect of my life very difficult. Any further advice would be much appreciated. Thank you so much for this post, I like you also googled “how to quit computer games” and ended up here after staying up until late last night when I have 3rd year university exams in a few weeks time.
@ Ismaeel – Thanks for commenting. Having most of your friends be gamers is a common problem we all run into. That’s ok, it’s part of the process. I want you to do two things:
1. Watch these videos: http://gamequitte.rs/1Pzqh3c
2. Join us on the forum: http://forum.gamequitters.com where you can meet other likeminded people who are on the same journey as you. This support is crucial to avoid being lonely without your gamer friends.
As useful as it might be, I lack the patience to read this whole article
Hey Cam thanks for the response!
Your videos are a great help! very empowering knowing that gaming is a beatable addiction 🙂
thanks
Dan
@ Sander – One sentence at a time. 😛
@ Dan – Happy to hear the videos help. 🙂
Hi cam,
Here again just to say happy new year and thank you!, i spoke to you on skype once about half a year ago (since then i have forgotten my skype detail lol).
i want to support you more and help you, this is so much like yuval abramovitz story of writing the list on his blog, he got stuck in expanding it then wrote a book about it. you need to write a book but it has to offer a lot, a lot more for parents, kids, addicts, teens, young adults.. Men, women.. not just personal story but also information.
man looking back at 2015, it was an AWESOME year!! i came back to my M.A. and took two seminars, already finished one and got my mark (good grade!!) and on Sunday i file my last paper, tomorrow am going to finish writing it!!!!! i am actually going to finish my studies!!!! from dropping out to dropping in!!!!!
I must admit as well… That i have been watching a lot of youtube videos about runescape this past month and started watching vanossgaming, for some reason i just cant stand watching most “popular” channels on youtube.. I’ve managed to go a week without going on youtube once and i do use that site excessively, similar symptoms to 2014 where i would avoid my duties just to waste time to avoid studying, but a friend gave me a great advice and pushed me to try, talked to me.. Her talking to me and listening to my problems made me saw how tiny and easy they are to solve!..
We need someone to talk to!!… talking to someone helps so much if they are willing to understand and not judge you but give constructive criticism!!!!!.
Still going strong on NoFap, i reached a 29 day streak, a 28 day streak, 56 day streak and many other streaks this year, next year i want to go further. Much stronger and flexible and still doing DDP-Yoga and eating healthy!!
I’ve had fantastic oppertunities so far in work and my bosses really appreciate my efforts, i am passionate I LOVE MY JOB, i wake up every day at 4 am and workout a bit and when its 6:15 am i become so anxious for the time to become 6:30 so i can go to work and arrive 20-30 minutes early, i love what i do!!! the pay is so much better and i got a car and the co-workers are fantastic!!!!
I haven’t played Video games this year either!!!!! i did not play any video games!!! went to visit friends/relatives/siblings that have consoles in their homes and they offered for me to play I did not play!!! But i did watch others play on twitch and youtube!! (seriously.. The vanoss gaming channel, i dont know how i stumble across it but i think its better than watching television in terms of redeeming entertaining value).. I play a lot of guitar and been practicing a lot of slayer and megadeth and can play several final fantasy 8 sound tracks 🙂 and improving.
This Sunday i earn my freedom to live!!! the last 4 weeks for me have been a living hell where i dont think i’ve slept more than 4-5 hours overnight because i spent every free second studying and when i wasn’t studying i was preparing myself to study (did not work in the past two weeks!! thats how bad i want to finish this paper!!!!!).
thank you cam forever thing i will support you, the guide you sell i want to buy just to support.
I look forward too 2016!!!!!! Happy new years cam!!! i have such a clear picture right now of WHO i want to be and how to achieve it!!! i am working on it as well!!! not giving up!!!
(p.s. i did not celebrate it, dont have time too busy!! studied today from 6 am to 12 midnight and now i am writing this then going to bed to wake up at 4 am and continue!!! i want to succeed as bad as i want to breathe fuck being a failure!!!).
So cool… Just happy.. Thank you!!
@ AnonymousGamer – Thanks for commenting. I’m working on a book this year so be on the lookout for that. Respawn (http://gamequitters.com/respawn) is currently there (a lot of it will end up in my book.)
If you want more people to talk to about this, join us on the forum. There’s a ton of us on there now who can help support! http://forum.gamequitters.com
So happy to hear your progress. 2016 is going to be even bigger and better for you 🙂
Hello again!
SO the last time I posted was like 2 years ago, when I was 11, I am now 13…
I think there is some really great stuff in this article, and I would like to add it is really interesting to read other’s comments and see their stories… Anyway back to MY story, I was searching for a way to stop playing mobile games (tablet and phone all all that) and I found this website, and I thought there is some really great stuff, but the problem is I couldn’t use any of it. Why? Because I am always stuck at home!!!! ESPECIALLY in the summer, I have no where to go, nothing to do, so I just go back to gaming. Ever since then, I haven’t quite been able to drop gaming, I got back into computer gaming last year (ROBLOX) and I CAN’T STOP!!! I think to myself, “If I have more places to go and MONEY, I can avoid this total boredom and gravitation towards games and quit all this game nonsense.” Unfortunately, I have none of these, and my parents are always busy, limit our freedom to go places, and are quite frugal when it comes to funds. Plus, I might be playing for upwards of 2 hours when I have homework to do, and I feel guilty and I get in trouble. PLEASE HELP!! Even at school, people make fun of me (A LOT, AND FOR VARIOUS REASONS, apparently I am the “easiest kid to roast in the whole school” that is one of many issues that I have right now) because I play ROBLOX, but I have nothing else to do. Lol reading over my post my life seems way less interesting than some other people that have posted but I can’t do anything about it. Maybe a reason is because I am somewhat socially inept, there are not a lot of people I am super-duper tight with, but even so it doesn’t matter because my parents never let me go anywhere!!! So that is my story, please HELP ME!!! D:
@ Paul – Great to hear from you again! Have you checked out my YouTube videos? I have over 45 of them now that will help you with all of these questions! You can watch them here: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq
Just remembered I have a little more to add…
Even past the gaming issue, I find myself bored beyond boredom… so I look up stuff like ‘what to do when you’re bored at home,’ and I get answers like this: “Read.” (Hardly anyone takes the time to read an actual book nowadays, plus I am a teenage boy so why would I?), “Clean up the place.” (The whole f**king reason people go to games is to AVOID stupid sh*t like this), and “Cook a meal.” (Not a bad idea, but I am no Gordon Ramsey, and I am very lazy, AND I can’t afford good ingredients). I was so desperate for something to do, I even resorted to pornography at one point, something I am rather ashamed of now (what kind of 13-year old in their right mind actually WATCHES porn, like, we joke about it all the time, but no one actually does it…). SO, yeah, just a little something I wanted to add. I need something to do that I will actually ENJOY, something that doesn’t require lots of money because I am poor :(, and something that doesn’t require mountains of effort. Kinda pathetic, but that’s me.
Wow quick response! Thanks!
Ok so.. I’m in class and the teacher is letting us do whatever we want on the computers and everybody is playing coolmath or agar.io or something and I’m SO TEMPTED!! It’s like the world is against me HELP PLEASE
@ Paul – The world isn’t against you, but you get to choose what you want to do with your time. Think about what your other goals and dreams are and what you could do in that time that would help you get there. 🙂
So, Day 1 of my gaming strike…
To be honest, it could’ve been better. Without gaming to distract me I really noticed how it is all around me. First time was today in 2nd period (IN SCHOOL! DURING CLASS TIME!!). We were done with our work, so our teacher allowed us to play on the computers (not really, but everyone went ahead and did so anyway). I sat watching my classmates play agar.io, or miniclip.com, and I was watching them play and commenting on the gameplay and having a good time, but even so I was getting pretty nostalgic. I could’ve typed any game site URL into the omnibox and joined right in, but I chose not to, and for that I am proud. But the temptation doesn’t stop. I recently got my first phone (Christmas present), and a friend of mine asked what games I installed (I had installed games prior to yesterday, but had them uninstalled at this moment), and I told him I was on a gaming strike. He responded with a shocked “Why?!” But that’s not all. I had an afterschool club today, and when we were on the bus and going home, another friend of mine told me to install ‘Geometry Dash Meltdown.’ Luckily (or unluckily, it can go either way), my phone happens to be a Windows Phone, and Geometry Dash Meltdown is not available on the Windows store, which I told him. I neglected to inform him, however, that I am currently on a gaming strike.
When I came home, I mostly did stupid stuff on the Internet, but my mom also kept me rather busy with other tasks. I did manage to get in an episode of anime in (Blue Exorcist, and it was a good one), but that’s about it.
To be honest, I’m starting to doubt if I can keep this whole no-gaming racket going. My inability to leave the house, and my lack of funds, prevent me from engaging in more entertaining activities. But, no one ever said it would be easy, and I’ll try to keep going strong. Btw Cam I’m SUPER jealous of all the cool places you go to it seems like you’re having a good time.
Hey Paul! I’d encourage you to start a journal on the forum. That way others can help you too: forum.gamequitters.com
that’s one interesting article.
I have to say, I came here just out of interest. I was playing alot. I was playing WoW for nearly 8 years!. I came home from school started playing and stopped when I got to bed. So also quite a lot of time. BUT, one day a new expansion came out and I just said “screw this, that expansion is crap!”. From this point on, I stopped playing WoW and started Modern Warfare 2, which I played about the same amount of time. I had 3 different accounts (dont ask me why, I was an idiot xD), on nr. 1 I had over 1000 hours played time, on the sec. about 500-600 hours and the third one is around 400 hours. So nearly 2000 (!) hours Modern Warfare 2. But here the same, Modern Warfare 3 came out, which I played for maybe 600 hours. With MW3 I reached a point where I was extremely annoyed of those campers and hackers. I stopped playing, but not completely. I also played Diablo 3 for maybe 1200 hours, but it got simply boring. The same with any other game, I am totally bored of it. (before someones asking, yes I was playing with friends). So I was looking for something to do instead. I started doing sports in a team, which is one way to spend your time, btw. my ex-GF was also some kind of a reason I stopped playing.
Now I am sitting here, browsing the internet because of boredom (I am working right now :P). So, I am working about 60 hours a week for the last 3 years, and I am still playing video games. But I have no problem with it. You guys know why? Because I reached a point, I dont need to play, because it is getting boring after some time. Even if I am having fun playing Destiny, I am interrupting my session and go out with friends or do some other stuff.
All in all I wanted to say “Set some priorities”. That worked best for me. You don’t have to be a very strict person. Example: Your playing any game and your mom comes in and wants you to do something. Don’t start raging or anything, simply do it. (You might be annoyed the first weeks, but after some time, it is okay and you will not need to play games all the time. You will be able to fascinate yourself for other things again).
Oh @Paul, if I may give you a little advice. Try things like painting, writing or maybe some sports stuff, or just exercise at home. With 13 years I wasn’t allowed to go out either, but don’t worry, that will change one day 😉 Wish you all the best (everyone else too of course)
@ Sebastian – Thanks for commenting! I definitely agree with setting your priorities. Happy to hear things are going well for you. 🙂
First off, I’d just like to say that it’s incredible to see you still replying to these comments years after the original article was released! I spent a while reading some other stories so I figured I’d drop in a word of thanks to you Cam.
I recently started college and have been straight up failing every test I’ve done and I’ve had a hard time making new friends. And the reason only hit me when I found myself bragging about hitting 200 hours in a game I bought only a couple of months before. The issue is completely down to my gaming addiction. I know it’s going to be tough to totally shut out games altogether, but after reading your article, I can tell that it’s the only way to turn things around.
The steps and advice you gave are exactly what I was looking for, and you were right! The internet is full of useless advice that will never work, so to get the cold hard truth was what I really needed. Thanks again Cam, this advice will be so helpful.
@ Will – Hey! Thanks for commenting. There are many other members who are struggling in college as you are, but the good news is that you can make a lot of progress if you follow the steps we outline. I’d encourage you to join us on the forum (forum.gamequitters.com) and share your story. The extra support from others will help a lot. 🙂
Wasn’t expecting to comment on this at all, but hey, maybe it’ll help someone.
Similar situation to a few of the comments below. Computer games. MMORPGs. They replace every aspect of your life, and its incredible. On top of that, you get to the point where you can’t sleep, are never hungry, and can’t see as well as you used to.
I played WoW, Guild Wars, Runescape and League of Legends all religiously. Ended a few relationships etc.
I just wanted to put my 2 cents in and add in a few options to assisting gamers who were like me, who obviously (for the most part) may lack some confidence in the real world.
Its a simple solution: Working Out.
I used to hate it. So much. Absolutely couldn’t stand anything about it. It was just nonsense to me. I’m still not huge, by any means, but here’s my piece.
Working out will give you confidence, which will in turn benefit your social life. It also makes you more attractive (apparently) and its much easier to sign up at a gym with a friend. Signing up with a friend does 2 things: Makes the event social, and gives you someone to compare / compete with (which is huge for gamers).
Working out also gives you a temporary escape and europhic feelings similar to drugs. Which is an added plus.
It’s a challenge on MANY days that you don’t have energy (although honestly, this point is where it is the weakest).
The strongest point is that it is constant measurable growth. Want to be the best? Lift the biggest. You’re LITERALLY leveling up as a person. You watch your numbers grow (as you would watch yourself climb DPS ladders in MMOs) and it gives you a countless number of positive things in your life.
I hated working out. Then I started actually working out. Not that half-assed do it because your parents told you to working out, but eating 5 meals a day, going to the gym 5 days a week and constantly being there as often as possible. It got to the point where I disliked my off days. I wanted to be there.
You might hate working out too. You might be lazy (hell, I know I am), but working out can change your life if you are trying to quit video games. It’s the perfect outlet. You just need a challenging outlet on top of that, which isn’t hard to find.
I’ve been playing guitar for 15 years, so that’s my side hobby.
Hope this helps.
@ Connor – Thanks for commenting. Definitely a big fan of working out and that’s great advice. Especially because you can see your progress in the gym like you can in games. Thanks for sharing your feedback, it will definitely help many people. 🙂
I first posted here in December 2012, and I left an update in March 2014, but now it’s January 2016, so what is going on?
To summarize my journey, in 2012 I was addicted to video games – no surprise there, but there was no mistake in my diagnosis. I would stay up until 3 am on school nights playing Starcraft 2/Minecraft/RotMG, basically lighting time, almost life itself, on fire.
Then I managed to quit cold turkey for 500 days straight with the help of this article, I became a pretty good runner, picked up some new hobbies, and now 2016.
So this is what I have learned during that time:
1. I was able to quit video games because I realized how unfulfilling they were, and by picturing the rest of my life, I could see how sad everything would be: My unrealized dreams, my mostly non-existent relationships, my poor health, my crummy job, my decaying mental state, my everything.
2. Video games don’t have to disappear forever. In the beginning it was important for me to quit cold turkey, but as of late I’ve played competitive Pokemon, and it was a lot of fun. I went on some road trips, and I made some new friends in the process. Keep in mind that it’s still a delicate balancing act for us former addicts.
3. It’s vital to have goals that captivate you and demand your attention. Find something that will redirect your energies in other words. For example, I have always liked video games and I’m a competitive person, so I’ve translated this to studying and playing the game of poker, which is now my primary source of income, I work out regularly, and I’m pursuing a degree in computer science and doing game development in my free time. I think it’s wise to begin with the end in mind, e.g. have a life vision and set goals.
4. Video game addiction is only one problem. I’m guessing that a lot of us video game addicts struggle socially. I know that I do. Quitting video games is a big step, but it’s not the answer to everything. We all have other areas of our lives that need improvement, whether that be relating to family, friends, spiritual matters, health, and so on.
Things are pretty good now, even though the journey before me is still at large. I’m making new friends in college, I’m proud of my interests/hobbies, my health is quite good, and I like the direction my career is going in. Romance is still lacking in my life among other things, but that’s what tomorrow is for isn’t it?
In essence, figure out who you want to be, know your principles and role models, figure out what you want to do, know how you are going to get there, live the life that your plans dictate, and adjust your direction as you learn new things.
@ Fossa – Great to hear from you again! Awesome to hear that you’re doing well. I definitely agree with the advice you shared. It will help a lot of people, thank you. 🙂
Hello, Cam and anyone who reads this! Opbagration20 here. I am 18 years old and I want to tell the story of my gaming and Internet addiction. I found your article a year ago and wanted to write about my problem for a long time but I always postponed the decision. I should have definitely written this earlier, but… It is better late than never.
I started gaming while I was 6 years old. I got Sega Megadrive as a birthday present. My parents limited the amount of time I played, so it never was an issue. Yeah, I threw several tantrums when they refused to let me play. But that is all. Every child did stuff like that. I got PS2 then and PC afterward. Nothing special. Since I was under control, no problems arose. I had a pretty normal childhood. Was bullied a little (but I tried to fight back, so…). That is all. The problems began 9 years after I started my “gaming career”. In September of 2012.
Before that period I was actually able to drop games for 3 months. Read a lot of books (around 60) and to improve my English skills. And then I tried Dark Souls. Fitting name for a game indeed. My soul really went dark.
Then, I quickly became extremely stressed and depressed, because I started playing 8 to 12 hours a day. Most of the problems came from my constantly degrading social skills (which weren’t good because I was bullied when I was younger) Thankfully, at least I was able not to fail at studying, because in childhood I was constantly told by parents that education is the most important thing, and by age of 15 it became one of my most longstanding habits (and it remains) – I never skipped classes, for example. I still had good grades but it came at the cost of cutting ties with everyone I knew, so all I basically did was studying and playing games. That didn’t go well for my mental health obviously. Sleep deprivation and constant stress. Every day. The situation got especially bad in 2013 when I had school graduation exams, and all that while the Maidan happened in my country (I live in Ukraine). School, than some extra studying up to 6 hours a day, than playing games or watching the news (which were quite disturbing). Hell. And the worst thing was that my gaming cravings actually started getting the best of me – I actually began procrastinating and playing games instead of doing what I had to do. The worst thing was that I actually needed PC for studying. I felt extremely guilty (combined with my notoriously nasty self-criticism it actually only worsened my state) and I still went on playing. I tried everything you could possibly think of. I made my parents hide all of the devices (even though I needed them), only to start searching for them the next day or even stealing them. I actually got so good at it that I was able to successfully pickpocket my smartphone several times. This behaviour reminds me of drug addicts searching money for more drugs (which they usually steal).
The only thing that saved me was the fear to fail my parents expectations (they invested a lot of money into my education). Thus I fought with myself (not very successful) until the exams.
I thought that the fail is going to be epic. I guess, if I had a little less willpower and a little less luck it would have been. But surprisingly (for me) my results were extraordinaly good (I scored in top 1% of the country). Because of that I now study in one of the best Universities in the country and the state covers all of the expenses.
Success only worsened my addiction. Summer holidays came and I wasted them gaming, of course. Just like the one before.
Than studying in University began. What happened in 2013 repeated again. Twice actually, because we had exams after every semester. And again I was victorious. Straight A. Again I wasted my winter and sommer holidays.
I never achieved anything in any of “serious” games (WoW, Dota, LoL), because I was bored by them very quickly and wasn’t persistent enough. I find it funny that when I almost reach “pro” or at least “skilled player” level I dropped. Thus I played around 10 or even more titles, dedicating a lot of time (12 to 18 hours a day) to a game and then dropping it. Sometimes I had periods when I didn’t play – I just surfed the Internet aimlessly listening to game soundtracks on YouTube (never listen to those – they are the part of the addiction and the one that is very essential. How many games, excluding smartphone titles, without music do you know and would gladly play? I came to a conclusion that music amounts to approximately 40% of game’s success. They make it memorable so that you are even more tied to a game and constantly “replay” the music in your head. Thus you remember about the game itself. The more you listen, the more is the chance that you will play again).
Then the second year started. And here I slipped. I got B grade in one of the major subjects and the guilt lies solely on procrastination and games. I simply didn’t do enough. You may say that I am overdramatic. Maybe. Most likely. B is a good grade. But not for me. I have much more potential. I know that if I don’t stop now, I will surely continue falling down – first to Cs and then to Ds, Es and finally Fs.
Some of you would ask: why your parents didn’t stop you? Well, the thing is they tried to stop it at first, but then just gave up. I was very aggressive when they tried (and even when I asked them to help me in 2014) and they decided not to bother. “At least you don’t smoke, don’t drink alcohol and don’t do drugs”. Some of my peers already did all of these for several years. I was home all the time at least. And, well, I was still doing pretty good at school. I had a justification for my behavior: “I study hard. I have good grades. Everything else is my problem and not yours”. Another reason is that I lacked father figure (never saw my father IRL), because I was raised by my mother and grandmother (I noticed that a large percentage of people who are game addicts were bullied and were raised by single mother or by grandparents). I guess that also had an effect. Though, in my case it was not that bad – I was taught discipline (which saved me during exams) and was always encouraged to be brave and strong (I even managed to stop people who bullied me at school).
This year I decided to start a decisive battle against my addiction. Using my anger and whatever I salvaged from the wreckage of my torn by guilt and self-criticism ego I decided to improve my German. I was successful. I got through A2 level less than in a month! That was hell of a task. But two days ago I passed the test successfully. My ego is resurrected. I am a not a failure after all!
Meanwhile, I tried to finally figure out my problem with gaming and procrastination. At first I wanted to try moderation. It didn’t help. I started going on 3 day long procrastiantion “rampages” again (happened 5 times, I completely wasted 2 weeks this January). On 29th of January I finally understood that moderation is not an option for me. I calculated the amount of time I spent since September 2012. Insanity: more than 7000 (more than 9000 if I calculate everything before that period) hours. That is 7 or even more hours PER DAY. Almost a year. Out of those 3 years – one was wasted. That amount of time is enough to master Japanese at least 3 times. I gave up gaming immediately after my calculations. Now only mindless Internet surfing (which took at least half of those 7000 hours) is in my way. After my success with German, I feel it is time for the finale charge to the gates of my new life. It is time to slay my addicted self once and for all. It is either it or me. A choice between protracted suicide (I find it is the most fitting term for my lifestyle during those 3 years) or life. That is not even a question for me. I do not want to die. I choose life. My grandgrandfathers stopped nazis during Great Patrioric War. That required a lot of courage and a lot of willpower. Many of them died so that I and our people may live today. We barely avoided total extermination. My battle is nothing compared to what THEY did. I do not want to stain their great deeds by losing to something so meager as computer and Internet addiction. That would be a disgrace.
Therefore:
1) I am going to stop playing games. Once and for all. I already got rid of my Steam account.
2) I am going to stop wasting time on Internet. Even relaxation may be efficeint. I may listen to a podcast or watch a movie to improve my knowledge of either English or German. I don’t need to know all about those stupid dramas on the Internet (imageboards also were a significant part of my Internet life).
3) I am going to stop watching any game related stuff (sadly, I still watch let’s plays. Not anymore).
4) I am going to stop listening to game related music or at least limit the time I listen to it. But for now I won’t listen at all. For at least 90 days.
I will also, most likely, start a journal on Gamequitters forum, where I will post information about my progress at least weekly.
What I am going to do this year: studying (it is time for a comeback!), German and English (since I am going to be a translator or an interpreter the knowledge of those is crucial to me), at least a little bit of programming (I really like the idea of learning Python); maybe guitar, since I like rock and metal music.
I also bought Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich. So far I find it amazing, even though I am usually feel skeptical about these sort of books. Thanks to his advice I have already improved my posture considerably. I also stopped being too critical of myself and stopped feeling guilty about what I have been doing thanks to his books. After all, what’s done is done. I would not be me, if I wasn’t addicted to games. Thus, I have no regrets. Certainly am looking forward to applying other tips in my life and totally recommend the book.
It may seem that games didn’t ruin my life. They didn’t, true. But they took away so many opportunities from me. Many people say that I am a gifted person. Most likely I am. I don’t want to waste time anymore. I want to do something useful. For myself. And for the other people. It would be a sin to do otherwise in our grim times.
So, what are the pros and cons of gaming? Did you get anyting useful of it:
Pros: 1) They taught me to be persistent. Studying for 8 hours, non-stop is no longer an issue for me.
2) They may be used as a teaching tool. Simulators and services like Duolingo prove it.
3) Fun and relaxing. At least may seem to be like that
4) May be considered art. Some people are doing crazily beautiful games (actually, it is a trap for a lot of people).
5) “At least you don’t do drugs”.
6) Helped me to understand the nature of addictions.
Cons:
1) Wrecks mental and physical health. Depression and stress. OCD and bipolar disorder. Addiction, of course. High blood pressure (my doctor told me that if won’t change my lifestyle I will end up with hypertension. And I hadn’t even told her about my gaming addiction – I was too ashamed. I told her that I study a lot). Bad posture. Extreme eye strain. Welcome to the world of gaming.
I got mild hypochondria because of gaming (had several panic attacks). And mild obesity (I thank my parents for making me exercise at least a little bit, or I would have been 100+ kilograms already). I am also anxious about every stupid thing (which wasn’t the problem when I was younger).
What scarifies me is also how little devalued human life became for me. I am no longer scared of the notion of nuclear war. Sometimes I though it is an awesome thing (thanks Fallout) and wanted it to happen.
2) Waste of time. No comments here.
3) Destruction of your social skills. It is difficult to look people in the eyes. You always forget what you are talking about. You start to be paranoid about people, always expect that they will betray you. I was quite good at giving speeches. I lost that skill.
A lot of people think that I am slightly insane, because I tend to do a lot of weird things. For example, I am sometimes scared to phone people. Scared. To. Phone. People.
Also I swear a lot. A lot. Sometimes I screamed at my own parents.
4) You lose energy. Sometimes I felt like a zombie.
5) Your reaction time becomes extremely bad IRL (and extremely good in-game). You become awkward. Reason? Lack of concentration. Since games occupy your attention all the time (even if you don’t realize it), you lose all connections with real world. Thus, the amount of mistakes rises significantly. If you add sleep deprivation to it, than it turns into a huge problem. Life-threatening in a way.
6) I may continue the list, but it would be endless.
You know what scares me the most. Kids nowadays get their first smartphones at the age of 2 years. We are heading into a large storm without even realizing it. We are heading into a world where Internet and gaming addiction would become a threat to national security and would put some nations on the verge of extinction. Well, we are already there actually. South Korea and Japan are pne of the greatest examples of this problem. Even in Ukraine it is terrifying to see that kids are using smartphones all the time. And when they don’t they talk about Dota 2 or social networks.
But the worst is yet to come. As they say in Russia: “Это еще цветочки, ягодки будут впереди” (literal translation: “Those were only flowers, you will see berries later”. Closest equivalent in English: “It is just the tip of the iceberg”), Imagine what would happen to the world when virtual reality games appear. And I mean true virtual reality (not Oculus Rift) which replicates all 5 senses (isolating you from the real world) and has good graphics and sophisticated game play. Virtual reality MMORPG, for example. I am sure this genre will redefine everything we know about addiction. Some scientists say that we may lose up to 20% of population, because people would prefer virtual world to a real. Combined with unemployment in the future (I recommend watching Andrew McAfee’s TED talk about this problem: https://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_mcafee_what_will_future_jobs_look_like) this will have devastating results for humanity. On par with global warming and major diseases.
I find it funny that children of large IT corporations CEOs are often forbidden to use devices for more than an hour a day. And there are a lot of examples. But they will never disclose this to a wider audience. They know about all that habit-creating stuff and they shamelessly use it. Because they want you to be addicted. The more addicted you are, the more money they earn!
Sadly, we are becoming the slaves of our own creation – technology. Those who are able to control technology will also control all of the people who are addicted to it. And corporate leaders understand it. They want their children to rule the world. And what scares me is that it happens absolutely accidentally. There is no plan. There is no conspiracy. Their is only our foolishness. Hanlon’s razor in action (“Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice”). They don’t understand where they are heading!
So there is my advice: never let your children to become addicted to this stuff. Do whatever you want, but do not let. And once advanced VR becomes widespread, make sure they don’t use it often.
I guess that is all I wanted to tell. I excuse for mistakes in my comment, because English is not my native language and because, well, this text is very personal. It is difficult to correct something like that.
I also want to express thanks to my parents for teaching me so much in this life, to Cam for creating this amazing site and subreddit and to you, my fellow reader, for being patient enough to read my long and boring story. Thank you for attention! I wish everyone who reads this good luck! Have a good day (or night)!
P.S. 1) I recommend listening to Blaze Bayley’s song titled Living Someone Else’s Life. I find it amazing how grimly fitting the music sometimes can be. It pretty much describes the entire situation with gaming addiction. We truly live someone else’s life, while playing games!
2) And a little tip for those who still struggle to overcome their addiction. The problem is that most likely that it is not that you can not do it, it is because you do not want to do it! When you really want something and you are determined to get it all costs, you will always be able to! All you need is to be willing to change your life! There is no magic that will help you! Only you and only you can change yourself and your life!
3) Even though I mentioned battling the addiction. I lied. There is no battle! The reality is that if you truly want to stop playing and do the REAL COMMITMENT than the war is already over. Fighting the addiction itself is impossible. You may count days, you may waste willpower. In the end you will still lose, because you would still be an addict. To win, you must fight yourself. Reassess your values. Change your outlook. Understand how harmful gaming is to you! If you are able to do this, than victory is yours! Because you would no longer WANT to play!
P.P.S. I also posted my story on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/StopGaming/comments/43zexj/my_story/
Sorry for double posting.
@ OPBAGRATION20 – Thankful for your epic post and that you had the courage to join us on Reddit and the Game Quitters Forum as well. This is a big change in your life that you will look back on and be very proud of. This is the right move for you. I’m stoked! 😀
I knew I wasn’t the only one, but you really nailed the problem on the head. Thanks bro.
@ Jasha – Happy it helped 🙂
Hey Cam, your article was great!
I’m 13 years old and I play rotmg (realm of the mad god). I’ve been playing for 2 years now and it’s very addicting. I play hours a day and I can’t seem to quit. I have been thinking about it but it’s so hard. It’s such a fun game and many of my friends play it too. It’s really hard for me because I go to school and have to do homework everyday and it gets in the way. Every time I open up my computer, I want to do homework but I keep on opening a new tab and playing it again. It gets in the way of my time and my parents don’t like it either. I got really into this game and I am really good at it which makes it even harder to quit. I really need more advice on how to get the determination of quitting the game.
To be honest, I’m not sure if I can quit this game. How did you do it? Please give me some help! Thanks
@ Elijah – Hey! 🙂 Thanks for commenting! You can do it. The key is to find new activities you can do instead, ideally off the computer. I have 57 videos on YouTube that will help you, check them out: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq
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Hey Cam,
Thank you for this great article, it might just save my life. I’ve tried to go for moderation – never worked. I’ve tried quitting gaming all together but I’d always end up reinstalling them within weeks (possibly because I couldnt find another activity to replace it which had all those 4 areas to offer) but this time I’m determined to quit it cold mother fukin’ turkey.
I’m 21 years old and I’ve been playing games all my life but the problem arose when in Dec 2009 when I started playing cs1.6 online and later css (and csgo these days). It has been 6 years and I can’t even begin to explain how much they have ruined my life. I’m like a complete failure now, thanks to them. I have literally zero confidence, I barely manage to pass my university exams (used to be a high achiever back in school), I find it really hard to make new friends and i’ve get very few friends outside my gaming circle. My physical and mental health has greatly deteriorated because the only thing i’ve doing for the past 6 years is this: play cs. regret. sleep. repeat.
I’m not even good at this game anymore, I used to be LE and wanted to get better. I used to play with my team, practice offline with bots, watch videos on youtube, read the community guides to get better etc but now for the past few months i don’t even care, I just keep playing it for no reason, uptill now.
After reading your article, i just finished deleting csgo and steam and all those video tutorials for smokes and flashes that i had downloaded to watch in my free time. I’ve decided that i won’t let csgo or any other stupid game waste my life anymore. I hope this time I really get out of this addiction. I’m planning to focus on improving my social skills (as you mentioned in your article) and it is one area that i’m most under-developed. I just wish I had found this article earlier and saved me from wasting countless hours of my life playing some stupid game with no net gain. It was all just raw unproductive consumption. But anyways, better late than never.
@ JMZ – Thanks for commenting! Happy to hear you found it helped. This is a turning point for you. I’d encourage you to commit to the 90 day detox (info here: http://gamequitters.com/detox), join us on the forum for extra support (http://forum.gamequitters.com) and I have a TON (over 58) of other videos that can help you too here: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq so you have everything you need to quit this time for good and to be successful. 🙂
Wow Cam excellent article. How on earth did you managed to quit cold turkey on your first attempt? I’ve literally tried over a few dozen times, but have been relapsing over and over again.
@ John – Thanks for sharing. I actually relapsed during my first attempt after 11 months before I finally quit for good and I haven’t touched one since.
I have 60+ different videos that talk all about how I’ve done it and how you can too here: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq
Also, highly encourage you to join us on the forum, it will help you a lot: http://forum.gamequitters.com
(I’m an asian teenager so sorry if i make grammatical mistakes : P)
Cam, thank you so much for this.
I have been trying to quit gaming for quite some time now. I started in September last year, kind of succeeded (I didn’t play that many online games, but was still searching for tons of other games) I tried finding new hobbies like reading books (psychology, history, philosophy…), do some exercise, and even programming. I was really desperate for a new hobby, but everytime they get bored for me, and I would end up playing video games again, again, AND again, forgetting about everything else.
I wouldn’t say that I had an absolutely terrible life at that time, I had reasonable grades, had some friends, but what I desire my life to be was way, way more. I wanted to live stronger and happier, and most importantly, socialize myself. Chinese language(I study in Hong Kong which is in China) was also a huge problem for me, I wanted to concentrate so hard on it but I didn’t have interest, and was tired all the time.
Well, exams are up in June and what to do? It was REALLY lucky for me to stumble upon this article! It taught me that I just need to persist longer, and understand WHY I am stuck in the loop of playing games again and again. I’m planning to delete all of my games on iPhone and PC, and hopefully, find some suitable hobbies for me(that 60 new hobby ideas PDF is actually kind of handy!). I hope I can be a more socialized person, get some good grades, and have a true passion in my life. Wish me luck, and again thanks so much for posting this article!
@ Roger – Thanks for commenting! I’d love to come to Hong Kong some day! The good news is that this article isn’t the only one that can help you. I have 60+ different videos on YouTube (http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq)
If you can’t access YT, go to http://gamequitters.com and you can read them there. Lots of extra help for you. Come join us on the forum as well (http://forum.gamequitters.com)
Hello again Cam! I wanted to get into the forums but somehow I didnt receive the validation email. Could you send the email again to rogechui13579@gmail.com? Thanks 🙂 (I know i shouldve gone into the forums earlier but I was kinda busy :P)
@ Roger – I just approved you! Welcome to the forums!
[…] How to Quit Playing Video Games FOREVER – Kingpin Lifestyle – Video games are without question one of the hardest and biggest obstacles to overcome when you first get involved in a journey of self-improvement. […]
This is a great article that really get’s you at a personal level and motivates you to stop playing video games.
I think he should probably add though that one way to also get rid of the addiction is to permanantly delete or get rid of your video games to reduce the temptation at the start.
@ Suli Niv – Hey, good to hear from you. I agree with you about that tip. It’s something I talk a lot about on YouTube but maybe I should add it here. YT incase you’re wondering is here: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq
Thanks for the post. I am seeing that I am gaining nothing from gaming but it is so addictive I cant live without it. I play Dota for almost 5-6 hrs a day after working(11 hrs). Everything I do in my daily life my unconscious mind thinks about how to counter the enemy? How to counter which hero? what combination am I going to put today with my team? What hero should I play? What hero I shall play today etc. So I am not 100% towards the current work I am doing. After seeing your post I am determined to leave it totally. Lets see, if I am able to do or not. If there are anyways you can help (shortcuts) you are welcome for that .
@ Preetam – Thanks for commenting! What you’re talking about is called PRE-OCCUPATION which is one of the criteria for addiction. I’m not saying you “are” addicted, but if you find pre-occupation is something you’re experiencing a lot taking a 90 day break is definitely recommended. You can learn more about that here: http://gamequitters.com/detox
Hi Cam just wanted to say thanks for putting up this article – I’m in my early 30’s with a busy career and a young family but would pour every free moment into playing online fps games or researching how to get better at them. I deleted the games after reading your article 7 weeks ago and am now spending more time with my family, at the gym/boxing, reading books, playing guitar and sleeping. I think how the article highlights why games are addictive really helped me get back into things that feel so much more worthwhile. Thanks so much and good luck to everyone trying to quit
@ Dave – Thanks for commenting and awesome to hear that things are going well for you.
lol at you for saying that telling fat people to exercise and eat healthy is useless because that’s what everyone says, but proceeding to say that they fat because they are “lazy” and have no motivation. You say that in order to stop playing videogames, one must have motivation, find a new hobbie, and be “social”. This is just the same “bunch of crap that doesn’t work at all, because the people who wrote the articles wrote what the obvious tips would be”. You overlook what demotivates fat people to change their situation, what makes videogame addicts lose interest in other activites, talk so much about being social, but not how. Just as generic and shallow as the other “obvious” ones.
@ Pedro – This article was written in 2011. If you want specific advice feel free to go watch the 80+ videos I have on this subject now: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq
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Hey, I quit video games a few years ago.
Even posted here, scan the page for my name!
Because of Pokemon Go I was reminded how destructive video games can be. I’m here again to tell you guys that real life can be amazing! Animals can be amazing, nature can be amazing! No need for a cell phone game to get you out.
Gaming is just an addiction. It hurts to quit but once you go without any games you realize you never needed them.
I was a hardcore gamer, I quit many years ago, never went back and my life finally got back on track. It took a long time but it can be done.
Quit now! Games will be much more addictive in the future. The gaming industry takes billions of dollars and they have psychologists designing game concepts to make sure you get addicted.
Greets!
@ Mitsu – Great to hear from you once again! Not sure if you’ve seen the latest but we have a full website and community for video game addiction now: Game Quitters (http://gamequitters.com) – crazy to see how far we’ve come!
Hi, i started to follow your post andyour advices, first of all i uninstalled every game i had on my pc, and the most important thing: I uninstalled Steam, the source of all my games.
Thanks a lot for making me see my problem and helping me finding a way to improve my life.
I have only one question. You say that we need to quit games completily, but i have a problem: Once every 2 or 3 weeks i go to my brother´s apartment to play some PES with him and his friends while we drink and chat (It´s the only time i see my brother in the month)… Do you think i need to go there and not play witih them? Or i could play a little bit? (I´m not really adicted to PES, in fact, i don´t even like it too much, i just play because of my brother.)
Again, thanks a lot, and sorry if i had any mistakes, i´m 19 and English is not my native language.
@ Santiago – Thanks for sharing! I think playing a little is fine as long as it doesn’t turn into you playing even more. Also, you can always do other activities with your brother too. Something to consider.
Hi Cam! I have just found your website, and it is really motivating. I wonder if you could help me with this, my case is pretty hard I think. I’m a hungarian guy without parents and friends. I have moved to Denmark 2 years ago and since I was playing all my free time as I always did, didn’t make any friends through my 2 years programme studies. At the moment I’m really passionate to quit games but I still don’t know how. I can play the guitar very well and usually 2-3 times a week I go to play on the streets, people would comment on my playing (never had a bad response), but I don’t know how to react, and I have totally no intention on talking to anyone, but I’m really lonely at the same time.
To sum up: I live in a very close-minded country as a foreigner, I want to get out of playing games, I don’t speak fluent danish so I can’t work, I don’t study anymore, and I don’t have too much money for new hobbies.
What would be your suggestions?
Thank you in advance
@ Zoltan – Thanks for commenting. My suggestion would be to come join us on the forum and start a daily journal. The extra support from the community will make a significant difference for you: forum.gamequitters.com
Hey, I just wanted to thank you for writing this article. I appreciated the non-judgmental tone and the solid advice. I first read it five months ago and really think that finding an activity where I could measure my progress that also had a social piece really made a difference in my goal to quit gaming.
I started whitewater kayaking, which is intense, social and has a rating system built into it; kind of a perfect fit for someone who likes intense games. I’ve also turned to exercising everyday. I’m a little apprehensive for the colder and darker days ahead. I feel like it’s going to be more challenging to not to turn on the videogame tube when it’s dark after work, but have decided to take a class and join a rock climbing gym. Thanks again for posting your story. It helped.
@ A-Aron – Thanks for commenting! You’re spot on about finding an activity that is measurable.
I really liked your article Cam!
The thing that led me to this is not that I feel I’m playing too much games, it’s that my family is all over me for gaming. This summer, I’m on an iPad for about 3-4 hours a day, but in reality I’m gaming for about 1 and a half hours every day but they’re always on my case for just being on my iPad and how it will destroy my eyes.
The thing is that I don’t have a phone and my iPad is technically my “phone” that I can’t carry around and they just see that I’m “gaming” when I’m on my iPad. I really don’t play that much during weekdays of a school year, Maybe 1 hour a day? But if they see that I’m on a personal device, they won’t allow during a weekday.
My grades are actually good and I’m actually socially active too, it’s just stupid that I can’t even go on a personal device with out them thinking I’m hardcore gaming instead of studying.
What should I do? They think that me (a 15 year old teen) being on a device for a an hour or 2 every day is proactive and destroy my eyes even though my degrees for my eyesight has not changed in 3-4 years.
Also they only want me to quit gaming because they feel that I should just be the best for grades and that I should be doing sports but I have other interests (band and debating). I really don’t know if I should quit gaming to keep my parents happy and not give the impression that I’m always gaming, but I really don’t want to quit because i really like gaming even though I’m not a 3+ hour gamer. I also don’t want to leave some friends that I made online even though I have a social life. My main question is should I quit or should I just limit my time ( which doesn’t work)?
@ Brian – Thanks for commenting! As long as gaming isn’t having a negative impact on you then limiting is fine in my opinion. 🙂
I’m really addicted to open world games like Fallout 4, Elder Scrolls, Dark Souls series. I also play Word of Warcraft a lot. I can’t quit…
Or I thought I can’t. This ruined my life and my relationship, but I still feel I can fix it. Just like you, I didn’t do my house chores, nor I was going out with my friends. I was just there, playing.
Now I’m 23 years old, I have a pretty decent job. But the problem is… now I’m buying games on Steam, and spending a lot of money on it. I play at work (Sometimes I work in the office during night time hours so yeah), and after work. My girlfriend is pissed and myself, I feel empty and don’t want to go out with her anywhere, because I have more important quests to handle in my virtual world.
So I decided to quit. Admitting that you’re addicted meant a lot to me. It’s been two days and I still think about how I didn’t finish my Fallout 4 game after spending ~350 hours on it. My question was, do you think I should just finish the game, do remaining quests, get the satisfying ending and then quit for good? The plot of the story just drives me crazy…
@ Robb – Hey! Thanks for commenting. You can definitely fix it! I wouldn’t finish the game and I would just focus on the 90 day detox (90 days of no games). After 90 days if you feel it’s aligned, you can go and finish it (but you don’t have to.) The game isn’t going anywhere, you can always finish it later, but for now you need to focus on yourself. Learn more about the 90 day detox here: http://gamequitters.com/detox
I’ve been sinking alot of time into gaming on my PC as of late (mainly the elder scrolls and fallout franchises) and can see this start too cause me some concern, I feel its best to be pro active and tackle this problem before it starts becoming more and more prominent. After recently finishing my exams, I feel some what lost, months of studying and preparing over in a blink of an eye, and it seems PC gaming has slowly filled that void. I’m looking for a productive and self satisfying replacement, I enjoy being merticulous and am always looking to learn and develop, but I’ve hit a wall and would really appreciate some guidance. I’m quite a lonely 17 year old so social activities are somewhat out of the picture. Any suggestions will be a great starting point.
@ Ryan – Thanks for commenting. I have a full list of hobby ideas here: http://gamequitters.com/hobby-ideas
It’s best if you can find hobbies that fulfill these three areas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgC4DM1EZ5A
Start there and also come join us on the forum, the extra support will make a big difference: http://forum.gamequitters.com
Sir,I am from India, and I just wanted to spent a little bit of time on google searching how to quit gaming addiction I can’t believe that I clicked at a place where I could just terminate my gaming addiction. Through this article of yours my way of dealing with games has changed immediately.Immediately after reading this article I have uninstalled each and every game I had on my PC and I still could not believe that few minutes earlier I was unable to deal with this situation and after spending a little bit of time in reading this article my way of thinking about the games is completely transformed and the the credit goes entirely to you.Thank you very much for sharing your story.I have read many articles but this one holds a special importance in my mind because this article has transformed my approach towards gaming.
Your life of game addiction is exactly the same as mine.
I am really focusing on Respawn.
Words are not enough to describe my happiness…But THANK YOU VERY MUCH Sir……..
But Sir I have often notice that I feel so much motivated from inside but still I am always getting addicted to the things that I like …..and hence unable to quit them and when I see the persons standing in front of me(with all those I played when I was small child) have became a successful person(all those having good jobs) I feel very guilty..because at the end I am the only one among all those whose has not been able to transform my own career despite the fact that I am equally talented like them, and in some aspects I am better than them..
@ Rahul – Thanks for commenting! I love India! The key to changing habits is to be INTENTIONAL with the new ones you do instead. Otherwise you will just go back to the same old habits you’ve always had.
Thank you so much for the article. I have been addicted to any kind of games almost every kind! I dont know how i am going to do this but i will try your steps… The biggest problem is there is always someone to motivate me but somehow after a few days or weeks i start playing games again.. I even broke 6 phones this year including 2 laptops . i cannot help myself but i really want to leave it. If i go on furthur i may not be able to accomplish my dream to become a doctor. Please help me . c it would be very great if i am reminded in my g-mails regularly. ????
@ Nantiwa – Thanks for commenting! I have 98 videos to help you on YouTube: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq
Also, if you want regular updates in gmail, subscribe here: http://gamequitters.com/subscribe
Finally, come join our community on the forum – the extra support will make a big difference: http://forum.gamequitters.com
I just remembered this article again today, I don’t think you remember me but I first commented on it 4 years ago under the same name (ANOTHERGAMER – scroll up for my story) when I was 18 years old (2012), and kept you updated on my progress till 2013 when I became addicted to gaming for another 3 years.
Well, I don’t want to rewrite my story. In 2014 I had my first girlfriend (first kiss, first everything) that I fell in love with, I was her first love as well. It went on for 6 months until she broke my heart and left me. I’ve never been the same person since, I was diagnosed with depression, and while on medication I became even more addicted to video games because first heartbreak was unbearable for me, video games helped me escape the painful reality. During and post-breakup she said a lot of hurtful things about my ‘shit/boring’ personality, and insulted my appearance, so on and on.
But to the positives, I have been 3+ months gaming free. I relapsed many times in the past, but this time I think I’ll not relapse, if it happens I will not make it anywhere in life. I moved to a different country by myself away from my parents and home, I am living alone and I have priorities (2 jobs), and I am studying my masters degree. Only thing that is holding me back at the moment is my need for sex and women. While being on antidepressants, my sex drive is uncontrollable. I have visited brothels and spent around $1000 on escorts. I regret spending all that money, after the first time I would tell myself “I’ll never do that again”, but always ended up relapsing and falling prey to my needs for pleasure. My life has been a story of addictions, one addiction replaced with another, I have terrible social skills, extremely socially awkward/quiet, diagnosed with depression and overweight because of antidepressants. I do not want to go back to gaming, but it was something I loved doing, time and time again I think “What if I do what I loved doing with my life”.
What do you suggest that I do with my life? Keep improving my social skills? I had no development to my social skills during my teenage years ages 12-19 being a hardcore gamer, and now I’m suffering in social situations because of this.
Thanks for any help.
@ AnotherGamer – Awesome to hear from you again – I remember you! Crazy how things have evolved since your original comments. What I would suggest is to come and join us on the forum and start a daily journal. Journaling is important for reflection and to gain clarity. The extra support from the community will make a big difference for you as well: http://forum.gamequitters.com
Continuing to improve your social skills is important, yes. No matter how bad you feel your social skills are right now, you CAN improve them a lot, but you need to be patient. Focus on improving them one day at a time and if you do that, over a year, two years, three years, you’ll be blown away at your success. Read the book The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. I’d also encourage you to check out the YouTube channel we have now: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq – there are over 100 videos on there that can help you as well!
Thanks for coming back and sharing your update.
If you are interested in topic: how to earn online genuinely
care – you should read about Bucksflooder first
What a bunch of crap! You pretty much said the same about anything… Smoking, drinking, and what not…
Sure, you can call that a solution but if you leave it completely is just because you were too weak to know how to have them without abusing them… It’s just too easy to stop completely and that’s pretty lame considering you just left a whole part of your life just because you couldn’t control yourself…
Sure it did work out, but that’s just crappy advice as anything else, lol
And without knowing you I can bet you got some other vice… either work-ahoolic, gym, whatever… there’s always something, the difference is controlling and not substituting, lol
So I’m an addict in every since of the word. I always try to distract myself from the harsh realities of real life. Ever watch Mr Robot? That is me in a nutshell except I’m not limited to just doing morphine and hacking. Mostly it’s WoW, oxy, alcohol, any downer really. So last september my relationship was failing. I wasn’t putting any effort into it. I have depression and anxiety. I made a decision to finally quit drinking for good. A heavy alcoholic who could drink up to a 5th a night. If I could score some Xanax and oxy that was a much better high. I quit it all though. Soon after that I subsituted that for playing Warcraft whenever I could. I isolated and played it to substitute for the use of drugs and booze. I did that now for a whole fucking year. My relationship ended shortly after September and I sunk into a deeper hole. As long as I wasn’t ruining my health with booze an drugs because those actually cost me around 10 jobs. WoW was a replacer but I could at least keep a job. I had no friends and still don’t. Only a few online wow friends left. My alcohol friends left me when I went sober. I figured I was doing the best I could and as long as I was sober, I could play wow as much as I wanted. I feel that in this day and age, we have so much free time that we jump to any distraction we can to fill up our boredom hours. By the way after my relationship ended I quit video games as well for 9 months. I didn’t see a difference in my lifestyle. I was still lonely. I still had no friends. I still didn’t have any social skills. Probly out of fear. Real life has real consequences. So after seeing no change and just changing my habits to watching YouTube and Netflix in my free time. Or laying in my bed crying from depression. I started WoW again when Legion was released. At least I’m a little happy playing it. But feel like I will never achieve anything in my life if I continue. But how to quit all addictions if my life without drugs and games still sucked? I’m fucking stuck.
@ Tom – Thanks for commenting. I just got back from Africa – sorry for the delay in my response. Come join us on the forum, the extra support from the community will help you a lot: http://forum.gamequitters.com
nice article except your fucking email phishing baits. Just another modern marketing ass afterall…
@ YeahNice – Go watch my 120+ videos for FREE on YouTube if giving me your email is such a big deal: http://gamequitte.rs/watchgq smh
Hi, Cam,
How do I respond to my son who is 13:”all other kids are playing video games!”
Thanks,
Steven
@ Steven – Hey! Thanks for commenting, this is a really important point to understand. Your son plays because that’s how he interacts with the other kids. So what I would do is try to help him be a leader to organize activities with his friends away from the computer… and/or, help him join clubs with kids who don’t game so much (afterschool programs?). That will all help a lot.
Hi Cam! My name is Alex. Recently, been wondering if i should stop gaming or not.
I have been a gamer since i was young, owned a N64, Sega Saturn, Genesis, various Gameboys, computers, PS1,Xbox,Wii,PS2,PS3 and now PS4. When i was younger, i would play away for countless hours from pokemon to counter strike to warcraft, recently been playing The Division. I’m 27, have worked plenty of jobs, just owned my own business, i do have other hobbies but gaming is my biggest hobby. This past week made an instagram, twitter,youtube account and linked my twitch account to PS4 thinking “oh i should try to stream and make money gaming”. In a way, i kind of want to delete everything. When asked in the future, what do you do for a living? “I’m a professional gamer”…. that’s not a skill, i don’t want to waist my life away on a tv screen playing games that other than happiness/enjoyment and possibly some money, doesn’t bring anything else to the table . I don’t usually buy many games, usually 1-2 a year (which isn’t much), but i could use that $60-$100 from each game, pay bills or put it towards something else, i think would be a better option. I’m kind of stuck. I love playing video games, the whole art, storylines, social (through chat) and excitement fascinates me. I have asked one of my close friends about it, who is also a gamer, he said that, he, himself won’t stop playing because it’s a hobby of his, he told me to think about it.
Thanks,
Alex
Hey Alex! Thanks for commenting. At the end of the day, it’s up to you. Is gaming really serving you in the vision that you have for the world? If not, then quitting makes sense.
[…] He wrote about being a hard-core gamer, how it had harmed his life, and he referenced the four pillars. And he urged quitting cold turkey. […]
[…] any, so after I overcame my own addiction I decided to do something about it. That began with an article, then a TEDx talk. Both had a big response so I launched a YouTube channel, and eventually […]
[…] and the commitment to quit. Cam offers addicted gamers, who are committed to quitting, the resources to learn how and the stories of gamers who have quit. Watch this youtube video with a […]
Hi sir…my name’s ananth and I’m from India…i really loved your article and am really inspired by it…till now I was in a dilemma whether to play games like nfs mw12 which is my favorite game…but now I realised that social life is more important…can u please suggest me some ways to engage my time during afternoon where I can’t get to go out due to the heat and have to stay at home and get bored while taking breaks
@ Ananth – Thanks for commenting. For things to do at home read this: http://www.reddit.com/r/StopGaming/comments/36qnvd/list_of_home_activities/
[…] and the commitment to quit. Cam offers addicted gamers, who are committed to quitting, the resources to learn how and the stories of gamers who have quit. Watch this youtube video with a […]
Thank you for the article, I just quited because of reading this. Gaming has been making me nervous all the time and I kinda do not like it cause it makes my social life with others worse. I have tried quiting already 1 year ago and it lasted 1 year and I came back to be professional at CS:GO. Now I am 20 and want to move on and further from games. Than you for this article, it motivated me a lot.
@ RandomLucky – Thanks for sharing. Glad you’re taking this step for yourself.
Finally I got to understand the proccess that lead me to addiction, this is it, I´m going to play “the last match” in my whole life, goddbye videogames, you did well, but those days… are over. Thanks for the fun. Now I´m going to find my way to success, and I´ll become the one I once dreamed about.
Sincerely,
the man who speaked in tiles.
This article is the one that led me to delete the game that was taking my life away from me. It’s gone now, and I can now live my life freely. My parents sacrificed so much for me, I can’t just throw all that away. Success isn’t going to fall into my arms, I have to GO FOR IT. For all others out there struggling with video game addiction, think about the ENDLESS opportunities the world has for you. Just GO FOR IT, and I have never regret putting myself out there. I only regret wasting opportunities.