Failed phone numbers are the worst. You take all of that time and effort to make a connection with someone, only to have it be another contact in your phone. I’ve lost alot of potential friends due to ineffective communication. Momentum is one of the biggest concepts I’ve had to learn the hard way.
“How do you go from pen pal to face friend?”
Now that you’ve finished the book, you have a handle on the idea of Investment Levels. Using the Investment Equation will allow you to know how interested someone is in you. Once you understand how interested someone is, the goal is to make them more interested.
The key is to always be taking steps forward and maintain the momentum you create.
The 9 Day Window
This myth has been debunked over and over again, but it does maximize efficiency. The idea is that when you meet someone, you have 9 days to get them out for a meet up before the phone number you possess is useless. There are too many people to communicate with to worry about the person you met 2 weeks ago and talked to for 30 minutes.
Momentum is essential in your interactions. This is why you send a follow up text right away, this is why you call as soon as the Investment Levels are high.
Section 1: Chapter 5 of the Continued Connection talks about the Art of Mirroring. To mirror is to send the same subtext to the other person, that they are sending to you. When their investment levels are low (long time of response + short response), you mirror their investment levels (taking a long time to reply + short responses). When they are high (short time of response + long message), you mirror their investment levels (reply faster + write longer messages).
Mirroring purpose is to establish and maintain momentum. Texting someone new typically receives Medium Investment responses ((short time of response + short message) OR (long time of response + long message)).
Your goal is to make their responses longer, and their time of response shorter. Mirroring is an extremely effective way of doing this. Once you’ve got them responding in a shorter time frame, or with longer messages, maintaining this momentum is essential.
Your intention is to turn their Medium / Low investment responses (long time to respond + short responses) into High Investment responses (short time response + long message).
You should always be taking steps forward.
Once you’ve gotten their investment levels to a higher level, by monitoring their investment levels mirroring them, pick up the phone and make the call.
Going Steps Backwards
The first time you get them on the phone is money in the bank.
The phone number – ideally – is for phone conversations. Misinterpretation is common over email, and through texting. Phone conversations lower the element of potential miscommunication that occur through messages.
Over the phone your intentions are much clearer. Once you’ve gotten the other person on the phone, going steps backwards doesn’t make sense. Do not text them the next day, call them. You’re connected on a deeper level. Texting them means you decrease your communication efficiency, because now you have to worry about monitoring investment levels again. Once you’ve gotten them on the phone once, try to keep your connection to the phone call until you meet up with them.
My typical template is to call just to talk, the first time. The second call will set up the date, and then throughout the week I will maintain momentum by sending a “Ping” (See Section 2, Chapter 5) text if I’m busy, once every couple of days.
Ideally, I’ll be calling every couple of days until the date.
Momentum applies in three areas.
1. While moving through the investment levels, never take steps backwards. Always be looking to increase investment, taking a lot longer to respond than the other person causes you to lose momentum. Always be taking steps forwards.
2. Once you’ve made the first phone call, call on the second day. By texting the second day you’re allowing for potential mis – communication to happen, and causing yourself to lose momentum. Keep your conversations to the phone as much as possible.
3. The 9 Day Window means that you usually have 9 days to turn a phone number into a face friend. By taking any longer you risk losing the connection due to the time factor. Aim to make a face friend as soon as possible.
Ride the wave of momentum. Use it to your advantage and take your connections to the next level as soon as possible.