30 Days Sober! How Social Dynamics Helped Me Get Over My Addiction to Alcohol.

by Ryan Bellows

ryan bellowsThis blog is dedicated to my parents for I owe them the world. My sisters for they’re my best friends. My closest friends for they have always been there. Scott Abel for without his books, articles and coaching I would have never found this path. Brian Mark for he ignited me when I needed it most. The whole Kingpin Social crew for having my back. Carl Brown for his unexpected presence that has inspired wisdom and growth. I’ve been blessed thus far and am looking forward to creating the future.

What’s holding you back?

“FML…. What happened last night? What time is it? Where’s my phone?” The all too familiar questions I used to ask myself….

Have you had mornings or even afternoons start off this way? Personally, I’ve had many days start with these questions. I couldn’t even begin to count how many times I’ve woken up and been forced to try and put the pieces together from the night before.

I used to wake up on Monday morning and say to myself “I am not drinking this weekend, I’ve got more productive stuff to do.” In what seemed like a moment, Friday turned into Sunday, and as I pulled into McDonald’s on Sunday afternoon I realized that I accomplished none of the things I knew I should have been doing. Where’d my weekend go? I never fixed the problem, and my life began to turn into a cycle of this week after week. Wash, rinse and repeat. Living the GTL mindset, I realized my life was on AUTOPILOT.

I’ve always had intentions to drink less, quit smoking, get a hold of my diet, train harder, become a writer, be a better brother, a better son, help in every way I could to push my sisters music career forward, take the time to phone my grandparents more often and overall live a higher quality of life…. a life I could be proud of and one that made me happy.

round of shotsFour years ago I got out of a long-term relationship and started going out a lot. The bars knew me on a first-name basis, my friends knew me as the guy who ordered the rounds of shots. I loved the feeling that partying with my friends gave me – I was content with the feeling 26+ ounces of manufactured happiness would give me. I became addicted to the comfort this lifestyle provided me. I didn’t have to face reality, what is reality?

It feels like all my decisions are being based off what I think everyone else wants me to be. Do I even have control anymore? Are you controlling your environment? Or are you letting it control you? I was holding myself back by manufacturing my happiness with alcohol. I was putting myself in the bar and choosing to spend money like I was P-Diddy. I was blind to the emotion I was hiding from, hiding behind the lifestyle that I created. Little did I know – I wasn’t the one in control, my environment was.

After that long-term relationship ended not only did I take up heavy drinking but I also immersed myself in self-awareness, positive thinking and Social Dynamics theory. I was looking for answers to various universal questions, such as: Why did it happen? Who am I? What am I here for? Am I good enough? Am I being my best self?

With all the studying, I was learning how to “know” myself but I wasn’t practicing “being” myself. I read books, followed websites and studied successful people. I knew the right moves to be making I just wasn’t making them. I stayed committed to my comfort zones, always dreaming big, but not living big. I wasn’t being real with myself. I suffered from a case of the bad habits, and have always found changing habits to be hard.

Unsure of what to do next, I began looking for more answers.

Then I met Kingpin Social.

I had read the website/blog for about a month. After careful consideration and a few coffee meetings with Brian Mark, I decided to take the Kingpin Social Intensive Program.

The 3-Day Intensive Program was more than INTENSE. I learned that everything in life is a relationship and that relationships come down to an exchange of value. Correctly applied Social Dynamics teaches you how to take control of and strengthen all the relationships in your life. As soon as you open your eyes in the morning you have a relationship with yourself. Ask yourself how you feel? Do you feel good about yourself and the decisions you’ve been making? Or do you feel bad about yourself and the decisions you’ve been making? All relationships are based off an exchange of value. Just like in math you can end up with a positive result or a negative one.

Things just weren’t adding up for me so I decided to take control of my relationship with drinking. As a result I’ve strengthened the relationship with myself (my bank account too), my world and am working toward being my ideal self. I’m living happier, healthier and with more energy than I’ve felt in years. The Kingpin Social 3-Day Intensive Program opened my eyes to the truth that I had been hiding from myself. I started to see how the relationship with myself was flawed and how I was out of line with my purpose. What is my purpose?

I’ve always believed that I was put here to inspire others through wisdom and leadership. As a child I enjoyed researching and writing motivational quotes. I’ve always enjoyed and gotten a sense of fulfillment helping others live better lives and make better decisions. There was just one problem… I wasn’t making better decisions myself. I wasn’t living the life I knew I was capable of by drinking and procrastinating.

I manufactured my happiness for 6+ years with alcohol and partying. I’ve always believed I was put here to lead and make a difference. I just wasn’t living up to my expectations. Social Dynamics taught me how to start that process.

What’s holding you back from becoming your ideal self? And I am not talking about becoming famous or having the $80,000 sports car either. I am talking about gaining greater control over your internal and external environments to LEVEL UP and go after the things you want.

What do you really want out of life?

The truth is that there are always excuses that have the ability to keep you from aspiring toward the things you want. Those excuses could be internal things like: blame, negative emotion, procrastination, and justification. They could also be external things like: alcohol, drugs, simply watching too much T.V. or playing too many video games.

The key to moving forward is to be honest with yourself and ask the question: How much VALUE am I really getting out of the activities I am performing on a daily basis? Value is always based on the emotion you feel, so with every decision you make ask yourself if it’s going to make you feel good over the long term, or feel bad over the long term?

My relationship with drinking and going out was taking too much value (I was feeling too much of a negative emotion) I had to make the decision to take control of that relationship. I was giving my time, my money, and my energy to drinking. What was I getting in return? A bad memory and the inability to be productive with my life? Talk about a negative exchange of value.

sober badge30 days ago I decided to take control of my life and it hasn’t been the same since. I haven’t been this motivated since my bodybuilding days back in 2004. The direction is upwards and onwards. I’ve chosen to make better decisions and develop relationships that encourage me to stay committed and go after the things I want.

As of today I am proud to say that I’ve been sober for 30 days and have fully committed to being a student of life. Studying, learning from others, being honest with myself, growing, teaching, leading and inspiring.

Are you living up to what you know you’re actually capable of, or are you living down to your self-imposed perceived limitations? Don’t you think it’s time to see what you’re actually capable of?

There is no better time than now to start making your life a priority.

How would you like to WIN 2 hours of FREE goal coaching?

Receive a FREE 30 min goal setting session by simply emailing Kingpin Social here. and telling us any goal you want to achieve.

Everyone who emails will be given a FREE 30 min session. In this session you will be given a 10-day personalized challenge to start the process towards your goal. After the 10 days is up simply email us your story and a WINNER will be picked to receive 2 hours of coaching absolutely FREE (Valued at $164). There will also be 2 BONUS runner up prizes given so make sure to take action now and start working toward the things you want.

Welcome to your NEW LIFE!!!! How bad do you want it?

Watch this video NOW

About Ryan Bellows
Ryan Bellows is a selfless, strong, ambitious visionary who is thirsty for knowledge, experience and growth. He believes that mistakes happen so we can learn important, life-changing lessons and that you should wake up every morning allowing that day to be the day that changes your life forever. He plans to create lasting change in peoples lives by inspiring growth through wisdom and leadership.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Brian Mark May 21, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Loooooove it!!!

Joey Spencer May 21, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Great article! only option is forward, definately taking some key facts from this article to apply to myself, as I do with most these articles!! keep it up

Joey.

Karalee May 22, 2012 at 7:28 pm

WoW! Great blog! Good for you Ryan… Very inspiring!

Cam May 22, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Couldn’t agree more you guys. This is a great story by Ryan. 🙂

Aziz May 25, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Beaut!

Camil May 26, 2012 at 12:33 am

This is awesome, Ryan. Thank-you for sharing your story. Completely balling out of control!

Jason Shouldice May 26, 2012 at 4:37 am

Dude you gotta add me to facebook. I am literally 30 days sober too. Facebook. Com/gamlin

Cam May 26, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Congrats Jason!!! Proud of you man.

Carl Brown May 26, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Great work Ryan!

Ryan May 26, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Thank – You everyone who took the time to comment, I appreciate it!!!!

LP IN THE HOUSE June 19, 2012 at 9:30 am

Awesome Ryan.

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