My teaching “career” began in 2008 while working as an intern for another local Calgary “pick-up” company called Charisma Concept. At the time my only responsibility was to give a talk on the third day of the program, about what you should expect to happen as you study pick-up and dive deeper into Social Dynamics.
Back then, the talk revolved around what to expect between you and your current friends. Time and time again I saw students getting involved in self-development and quickly they would no longer be friends with people they used to be friends with. This always raised concern within them, and they would call me inquiring why it was happening and whether or not it was a positive direction in their life.
Of course it was.
The reason this happened is simple: you are a product of your environment. Your environment is likely to consist of like-minded people, people going in the same direction as you. As you begin to study Social Dynamics and develop a mindset to learn, you begin to grow. Unless your friends are studying it with you, you’ll very likely be heading in a different direction than them, and thus, you will notice you aren’t spending as much time with the same people as you used to. This is OK. It just means you’re leveling up.
(Disclaimer for picky people: this doesn’t mean you are any better than anybody else, everybody is on the same “level”, it just means you are going in a different direction and the standard you have for someone to be “like-minded” evolves and changes as you grow.)
Similar to this is a problem I see students run into all the time. They begin studying Social Dynamics and are seeing great results in their life. Yet they are still frustrated, because they have to come through on the commitments they made prior to taking our program, such as working a 9-5 job they don’t particularly enjoy, or going to school. This is a frustrating situation to be in. The mission to live your ideal lifestyle is more fun than that 9-5 job, or finance class. It feels like every day you spend in those environments is a day you are wasting away. It feels incongruent.
The other night one of my students sent me a text asking if he could give me a call. I gave him a time that would work for me and continued on with my day. 7pm rolls around and my phone rings. My student is calling on time. After a minute of small talk we both cut to the chase. He says he’s been having a bit of trouble lately and would like to hear my thoughts.
Student: “Cam… I’m just not interested in work anymore. I show up late all the time, my boss is on my ass; I’ve almost been fired. I have no motivation to be there anymore. I want to spend all my time growing. I feel like working this job is making me stagnant.”
The advice I give in this situation is always the same.
“Suck it up.”
What a great coach hey? Haha. The thing is though, is that whatever situation you’re in, you’re in! So you might as well make the best of it. There’s no sense in sitting around moping and bitching about your life not being in the place you want it. That is just a serious waste of valuable mental energy. The situation you’re in is the situation you’re in, so rock it!
If you’re still in your 9-5 job, then spend a bunch of time outside of your job working on changing your situation. You still have to show up to work Monday to Friday, you still have to collect your paycheck. There’s no sense in doing a shitty job, having a boss on your ass and burning a bridge you don’t need to burn. That’s poor Social Dynamics. Instead, you should go in there every day and work your ass off. Start developing a plan to get out of your situation, implement it with action, and voila, you’ll be your own boss in no time doing what you love. It can be that easy.
This ties in perfectly with my opinion on “does everything happen for a reason?”
On Saturday Myke and I had just finished running bootcamp, when he asked me that very question: “Cam, do you think everything happens for a reason?”
My answer is simple: who cares?
Let’s think about this for a second.
If events in your life do happen for a reason, then they are going to happen regardless. The most important part isn’t these events happening, but how you react to them.
So what if everything in life doesn’t happen for a reason? Then the same thing applies. Either way, events are going to happen in your life that you cannot prevent from going down. You can only control how you react to the events that happen. It really doesn’t matter whether they happen for a reason or not, it only matters what you do with the situations you’re presented with.
… in my opinion, there’s no better attitude to take into life and the events, situations and obstacles you run into along the way than one of “whatever happens, happens, so let’s make the best out of everything that does, and let’s not forget to actively pursue the life we desire, by growing each and every day.
I know since implementing that mindset into my life it has made a drastic difference. Give it a shot. Next time something happens in your life that isn’t ideal, just shrug your shoulders, put a smile on your face and make the best of it. Soon I bet you’ll realize that life that need to be taken that seriously, and with the right attitude, it can be a lot of fun too.
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