Unlock Your Inner Strength by Understanding Yourself

by Brian

Aziz KapasiThis blog is dedicated to the latest Kingpin Social graduate, Aziz Kapasi. I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to work with 1 – 2 people per weekend interested in learning the belief systems we have at Kingpin Social. Each weekend is a new opportunity for growth and experience, and I’m happy to say I learn just as much from each student as they learn from the course. This past weekend was an intense one, one where Aziz and I dug deep to uncover more truth and shed light on living life to your full potential.

“What a crazy weekend,” I exclaimed.

“Super crazy,” Aziz replied. It had been 3 days of meeting new people, developing progressive mindsets and pushing our comfort zones. Aziz and I were at a loss for thoughts and energy, as we walked west on 17th Avenue SW towards the Kingpin Social house. Downtown was buzzing with uplifted spirits. Sunshine has that effect on people. The streets move faster, moods lift higher and everything seems to move a bit faster.

“We dug pretty deep this weekend,” I stated. Up to this moment Aziz and I had been uncovering experiences in our past that caused present moment beliefs. The theory of Social Dynamics is perfect; all relationships are based off of an exchange of value. The flaw is not in the theory, the flaw is in the mind of the person applying the theory. There are people who are fearful of love, people who feel like they’re not good enough, people who feel like no matter what they do they’re bound to fail.

“The craziest part, is that every one of these people have the same blueprint,” Aziz stated as he pointed at the occupants of the Melrose Patio in the 17th avenue sunshine. “Each one of these people has had a sequence of experiences in their life that have caused their behaviour and lead them to this moment, at this time, at this place on 17th avenue.”

You Are A Result of What You Have Seen

For the last year and 6 months I’ve had an obsession with the way that my mind works. My obsession has turned into an internal journey of meditation, reflection and contemplation.

  • Why do I do the things that I do in the way that I do them?
  •  Why do I think about different things than you do?
  •  Why does my body look different than your body does?
  •  Why do my results look different from your results?
  •  What has caused us to evolve as a species and continue evolving?

My body is different than your body because we have different genetics. My parents passed down a DNA code, different and completely unique from yours. The nose I have is similar in shape and structure to the blood line passed down to me from my mother and father, my hair color is a result of genetic coding passed down to me, my body structure is similar in nature and structure to my relatives.

My mind is different than your mind because we had different upbringings. My parents raised me in a way different and completely unique from yours. My parents taught me a way of life. They passed down their beliefs and values to me directly and indirectly, as I learned by listening to their words and watching their actions. The environment I was born into shaped me into being the person I am today.

Learn

Human beings learn by listening, watching and imagining. A Chinese baby born into a traditional Chinese family is going to speak the language of those who raise him. He will have similar traditions, beliefs and values as those who raise him because he must communicate with his environment in order to acquire his wants and needs. Interaction and communication with his environment is essential. The child’s brain will wire itself together intelligently to understand how to acquire what he needs to survive and desires for personal pleasure.

If you take a Chinese baby at birth and give him to an American family, the child’s brain will wire itself intelligently to communicate with the American Family. The baby will learn to speak English, and it will inherit beliefs and values by listening to his elder’s words and watching their actions.

The environment that you are born into shapes the way that your brain thinks. In your developing years your brain is a sponge. Your brain absorbs the environment and wires itself to communicate with those around you. This includes the language that you speak, the behaviors that you have learned, and the level of belief that you have in yourself.

You could be Jaida Smith, lucky enough to be born a son of Will Smith, or you could be born into the poverty-stricken country of Ethiopia. The environment you are born into shapes the way that you behave, your belief systems, thus your level of “believed” potential. Everything you have been and everything that you are in this moment is a result of the experiences that have happened to you up to this moment in your life.

Take A Look Inside

I realized that my parents not only passed on their genetics, but their belief systems, and it affected me in THIS MOMENT by reflecting on the results I was getting. Being an entrepreneur is such a fantastic experience. I can tell where I hold myself back, and where I exceed my expectations. By reflecting on my results, which are only there when I apply effort, I’ve uncovered experiences that cause me to behave in the ways that I do. There are experiences that help my present moment experience and give me the motivation to move through obstacles, and there are experiences that cause me to behave in a reckless way towards myself and others around me.

This is an example of experiences that help my present moment beliefs: I was overweight in Junior High. I ate too much food, played too many video games and kept to myself. In Grade 8 my Auntie Sharon, who I lived with at the time, told me stories of my Uncle Darren. My Uncle began working out in his teen years and by the time he got to High School he was athletic. He took care of his body by going to the gym every day. In Grade 8 I decided I wanted to become just like my Uncle, and I started working out. I imagined myself as big as my Uncle when I went to the gym, and I would constantly compare myself to my Auntie’s memory of my Uncle Darren. It’s been 7 years and the love for athleticism burns stronger than ever.

This is an example of an experience that limit my present moment beliefs: I was the oldest of 4 brothers and sisters. I didn’t have a father figure around when I was younger. I got away with pretty much anything that I wanted as a child. I didn’t receive discipline when I stepped out of line, mostly because I was fairly good at hiding it. I catch myself with those same behaviors in this present moment. I’ll get out of things that I’m responsible for doing and I’ll always have an intelligent excuse for my slick move.

Each experience that you’ve had up to this point in your life, especially the experiences that you remember vividly, has a massive impact on your current perspective of the world.

The Power of Individual Experiences

There are those who choose not to reflect on the experiences that make them who they are. I don’t blame them. To recall an experience is to call back the emotion attached to that experience. Most people ignore the memories of the past because the pain and suffering attached to them. The memories that are the most vivid are the memories that must be analyzed and understood from another perspective so you can understand how it affects your present moment behavior. In order to understand yourself you must understand your experiences from a different perspective.

One of the concepts I talk about on the Kingpin Social Intensive Program is the Mind – Body connection.

Your body can only exist in this moment. The moment you breathe air through your nostrils, the moment your eyes scan the screen, the moment water passes down your throat. Your mind, though, is not attached to this moment like your body is. Your mind has an incredible ability to live in the past, thinking about experiences that have happened. Your mind also has the ability to live in the future, imagining experiences that haven’t happened yet.

Emotional Pain

Your body lives present, but your mind can wander to the past and to the future. This causes a potential mis-alignment in the Mind-Body connection. Thinking too much about things that have happened or thinking too much about things that are going to happen keeps us from looking around and appreciate what is happening.

Let’s say that you had a bad breakup last year, and you haven’t dealt with it yet. You harbour resentment for the person who broke your heart. You haven’t trusted anyone easily since the breakup, and because of this harboured resentment you hold yourself back from moving toward potential connections. Every person you try to develop a relationship with, if you do not deal with this experience, you will project the flaws of your previous relationship onto your current relationship and will cause a dis-connect; all because you haven’t dealt with the past experience yet.

Your Past Experiences Affect Your Present Moment

The latest Kingpin Social graduate, Aziz Kapasi, gets the credit for bringing to life the importance of this moment. Each experience that you create for yourself in this moment has the power to change the course of the rest of your life. You have been given the power of choice, and through choice you create experiences for yourself. Learn the lessons of your past so your mind doesn’t have to live in memory. Create a vision and write it down so your mind doesn’t have to live in the future.

About Brian
Brian is a firm believer in living in the present. Brian lives his life by the philosophy “Act for the future, not because of the past.” He is a passionate writer, a sober socialite and aspires to be a positive influence to everyone he interacts with. Read more about Brian here.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Aziz May 28, 2012 at 6:02 pm

*Wipes away tear from eye*

It is living in our present moment that allows us to capitalize on that moment. Drawing from past experiences and having a concrete vision are essential to this, but brooding on the past and worrying about the future negate from capitalizing on the present through unhindered focus.

As we grow and understand our mind and inner strength I believe we develop the ability to identify when we are brooding on the past or worrying about the future. When we take that identification to action by preventing these negative thought patterns we can better control our thoughts and maximize focus on the present.

This is what will facilitate progress to alignment of yourself with your vision.

Cam June 2, 2012 at 9:39 am

Awesome post guys. 🙂

Ryan June 2, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Bingo Bango, Aziz is the Man!!!!

Brian is cool too though….

Ryan J June 8, 2012 at 2:23 am

Nice post dude. The questions you ask at the beginning are some of the fundamental questions studied in behavioural psychology – I really hope I get a chance to stop by the house and talk with you, Cam, and Kevin the next time I’m down.

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