Three Simple Rules That Will Improve Your Text Game Instantly

by Brian

how to improve your text gameIs it better to text or to call? What do you say when you text? Is texting a waste of time?

The purpose of texting is to ensure that you are always on her radar.

This article will give you three secrets of texting and how you can improve your text game immediately.

Women have a lot of options. These options, in the form of male pursuers, ensure that she will be in constant communication with members of the opposite sex. Men chase women. You are not the only one pursuing her.

Texting is important because you want to be one of the men she talks to on a regular basis to ensure that you are always staying on her “radar”. The plethora of options that an attractive woman has can work against you; even if you do nothing wrong.

Let’s say you meet Haley on Friday night. Haley is an attractive, intelligent, quality woman. You and Haley really connect; you get along with complete ease throughout your entire interaction. An exchange of numbers happens with your departure from each other. A date is set for next Thursday; both you and Haley have busy lives.

The weekend flies by and you get busy with work. Wednesday rolls around and you decide that you’re going to call to confirm your date with Haley. You guys had a great time on Friday, right? You call Haley and she doesn’t answer. “Hmm, that’s weird.”

A day passes and you find yourself dialing Haley’s number again on Thursday to confirm your date. Again, you’re sent to voicemail. This pattern continues until you give up on the possibility of meeting up with Haley.

So what happened!?

In that time period between Friday and Wednesday, how many guys do you think Haley talked to? Being attractive and intelligent, one would be sure in stating that Haley consistently has men chasing her. That time that you weren’t talking to her, there are guys that were.

Your connection with Haley died out not because you did anything wrong… but because you didn’t do anything at all.

Texting is a great way to make sure you stay on her radar. Taking the time to respond to your texts ensures she thinks about you, allowing her to remember the reason why she liked you in the first place.

Texting is a low–investment form of communication for those of you who live busy lifestyles and can’t afford to be calling, to talk about nothing. This low–investment form of communication also elicits more of a female response than calling, when talking to a stranger. Women love to text. So should you.

Three Simple Rules That Will Improve Your Text Game Instantly

Following these three simple rules when first learning to create interesting text threads will improve your text game exponentially.

1. Make sure your level of investment always matches or is lower than hers.

What does this mean? You text her and she takes five minutes to respond, take five minutes or longer. She writes you a two word response to your paragraph; shorten the length of your responses. WHY?!

Responding instantly to her texts sub-communicates neediness; un-attractive. This tells her (on a sub-conscious level) that you have nothing better to be doing with her time, so you are waiting for her response.

When you respond with a paragraph to her one – line responses this sub-communicates a need for rapport (conversation). This tells her (on a sub-conscious level) that you want to talk to her more than she wants to talk to you; un-attractive.

2. Avoid boring subjects; ensuring content is always light and flirty. Don’t drag on the same topic for a prolonged amount of time.

Don’t talk about the weather, or “how she is”, talk about topics that spark interest; topics out of the ordinary. These include random, funny things that happen throughout your day, or talking about something that sparks curiosity. The content doesn’t have to make sense; it just has to be interesting. WHY?!

Men who are romantically interested in the girl you are pursing are texting them all day. For the most part, these men are all stupid. They think their cookie cutter subjects are “original”, when really their “originality” casts them into the countless pool of boring men vying for the woman’s attention.

Separating yourself from these men is talking about your topics of interest, maintaining a light sense of humor and certain aloofness. She will appreciate your creativity. The conversation doesn’t have to make sense as long as it’s interesting.

3. Make statements, not questions.

Don’t ask her “how she is”, “what she is up to”, “how her day is”. Make statements instead of questions. “I bet you’re having an awesome day,”, “I think you’re up to no good,”, “My day can beat up your day.”

Why is it important to not ask questions?

Every dude she texts asks her these questions. Think of conversations you have on Facebook. What do you generally say when someone asks you “What’s up?” you probably have the same, generic response “Nm, you?”

Successful text game comes from creating interesting conversation. Separate yourself from the rest of the pack by making statements instead of asking questions. This sub-communicates that you do not need rapport, but you are interesting in talking to her (by the response alone).

There you have it. These three rules will help you improve your text game immediately when you apply them. These rules are not set in stone, and as your text game improves you will begin to know when to break them in order to create interesting conversation.

The goal of text game is to create interesting conversation; applying these three rules will give you the basic understanding of how to do so, on your own, over time.

Outcome in Mind

Have a goal in mind for your interesting conversation. Is your intention to create more of a connection with this girl? If so, lead the conversation in a direction where you two talk about your lives. Is your goal to get this girl on a date? If so, text her for a bit to create that investment and ensure you are on her “radar” when you call her to set up the date.

The last important note on text game is to never go for the date over text. If you are serious about hanging out with the girl, you will take the time to call her. In order to set up the date, make sure you are staying on her radar by texting her once in awhile. Always text at least a day before you call. Make sure she remembers why she liked you, so she will answer the phone when you call.

Hey. You there. Enjoying the articles? They’re only a taste of the text and phone material we have on this website!

The Continued Connection: The Ultimate Guide to Effective Electronic Communication is available on Kingpin Lifestyle for only $7. This book dives deep into the sub-communication of messaging, what to say on the first call, and how to go from meet to date. Purchasers of the book are also granted access to the private article collection where any and all reader questions are answered within 14 days; loaded with content to take your electronic communication to the next level.


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About Brian
Brian is a firm believer in living in the present. Brian lives his life by the philosophy “Act for the future, not because of the past.” He is a passionate writer, a sober socialite and aspires to be a positive influence to everyone he interacts with. Read more about Brian here.

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{ 77 comments… read them below or add one }

Brittany May 12, 2011 at 12:22 am

Ugh, i don’t know if i agree with this!
Clearly if a guys asks “how u are doing” its shows that he cares rather than assuming her day was good, As well as talking about random things such as cereal decisions and midgets just makes you sound stupid! I don’t know any girl including myself who finds this “interesting”.

Brian May 12, 2011 at 6:56 pm

i understand your point completely, but i also want to give you two different scenarios.

you like a guy. you think he’s cool, he’s interesting, you’re already invested in him emotionally and he texts you and asks you “how are you?” that’s going to make you feel good, because you like him and he cares about you… he seems to be showing interest.

you get drunk and you go out to a club with your 4 girlfriends. you meet a guy there and AT THE TIME thought he was interesting. you get home the next day to see your phone buzzing with a question “how are you?” from a random number. it’s likely that you’re not going to respond, and if you do, it’s going to be like “uhh whos this?” it’s important for these principles to be applied when texting girls you meet because it’s hard to convey your personality over text. if you can throw in a couple jokes here and there and SEPARATE yourself from every other guy that texts you, you have chance of going from “that guy she had fun with at the club” to “that guy she went on a date with.” if you already like the guy, it makes sense for him to text you and ask you questions, showing interest. if you don’t know the guy / don’t know if you like the guy, it’s important for us as men to stay away from average, mundane conversation because you probably have 4 other dudes that you like MORE that you can have a conversation with.

thanks for taking the time to respond brittany 🙂

Benn May 18, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Unless a girl already has high investment in me, I have NEVER had success asking the routine “what’s up?”, “how’s your day going??”, “hey, how r u?”, etc, questions. As a response, I either get uninterested statements hours later, or more commonly, no response.

When you’re just another guy who she gave her number to and she’s no more or less attracted to you than the others, you have to be different and not come off too invested to stand a chance.

It’s great hearing a woman’s perspective though, thanks Brittany.

Liam July 13, 2011 at 7:30 am

I’m one of those guys who believes that game, whether it be text or other, is the most bs waste of a mans time and is nothing more than a distraction from him achieving what he really wants to get out of life, but is a necessary evil in order to live a health ballanced life. Therefore, all text game is is selling you. You are advertising yourself to her over the phone. Like TV ads, you only need to make sense half of the time just so long as you remind her to chose you over “the competition”.

I don’t remember the source, but a respectable prof of evolutionary science once said that if animals could talk, 99.9% of their dialoge would consist of variations of the message “I’m fit”. That’s all communication and sub communication is. You are 1. Selling the notion that you are “genetically fit” and environmentally groomed, and 2. A positive person full of great opportunity, endless energy, and vibrance.

Too many awesome guys dont get any, and it’s just because of the complex hoops women make men jump through that don’t mean anything in the bigger picture, especially many of whome are far more attractive than the plethora of low quality dudes who have no ambition to be anyone. The world isn’t fair, but I digress.

Brian July 13, 2011 at 9:43 am

You know what man, I completely agree.

The world isn’t fair, really. I know alot of good guys that don’t get anything out of life, even though all they do is give, give, give.

Game is a messed up concept because that’s what it is. It’s a game. Why can’t people be real? If I’m interested in someone, why can’t I just talk to them when I want, about what I want, as much as I want? But as you said, the world isn’t fair and that is an external force over which we have no control. What do we have control over then?

We have control over our ability to play the game. I’m a firm believer in positivity, vibrance and building a successful, high value lifestyle. What is a successful, high value lifestyle? One where you are pursuing what the fuck you want to do, and you’re getting paid for it. No matter what you love to do. I’m all for following passions but if you’re not getting paid then you can’t be happy; for the man who gets his means of life from the things he loves is the man that’s the happiest. However, EVEN THAT MAN must play the game. Why? Because it exists. Life isn’t fair, but it’s a game. Play it.

freaky October 8, 2012 at 2:17 pm

a man always wont something but never give a ladi anything…..sorry to say

rubymm October 22, 2012 at 6:24 pm

NO!! I am a girl and I can tell you, 1. is wrong! Girls LIKE when you show interest in them! What girl would WANT to wait five minuets to hear from you? It makes me mad if a guy I really like shows less interest in me than i do him. Take it from a real girl, I KNOW!

Willy January 9, 2013 at 6:03 pm

How do you talk to women your dating to build rapport while texting without making you seem needy that you need to build it…also how to text her fun exciting stuff thats not boring to create attraction..i get confused when to use attraction or trying to build rapport…when do i use fun exciting texts to create attraction vs when to go deeper into rapport and how do you do that? All this through texting

Pro Dater February 3, 2013 at 8:45 am

I agree with the fellow female above. This IS terrible advice! If a guy does not pursue me and show interest I am out of there! He can easily act like an interested adult without coming off too needy. Just the photo alone of the author of this article was a REAL turn off. This guy knows nothing about woman. Maybe he knows something about immature girls that do not know better. One word: Cheesy!

JO April 18, 2013 at 12:38 am

Hey there,

I ask my girl daily

Hi dear..
Good morning..
How are you..

But my girl never made me feel like i asked something odd or told me that she hate it when i ask or say….

I even ask her that if she had food (breakfast, lunch and dinner) and how is her day going…and i even say good night take care sweet dreams sleep tight love and hugs….to her before she goes to sleep…and she see to does the same in return…

So what does that mean..am i not doing it the right way or she is doing just to please me or see me happy…

Cam April 22, 2013 at 2:37 pm

@ Jo – The article is written more for single guys I believe. I think you’re doing just fine! 🙂

JO April 22, 2013 at 10:54 pm

@ CAM – I hope that… 🙂

john May 1, 2013 at 6:00 pm

How do you respond to hahaha? I am constantly facing this problem

Cam May 1, 2013 at 10:06 pm

I don’t. If they don’t give you something to answer you don’t need to answer.

john May 3, 2013 at 3:27 pm

What do you say then?

Cam May 5, 2013 at 6:07 pm

I do one of two things:

1. I respond with a new topic of conversation, something that will be engaging so they respond,

or,

2. I don’t respond and I leave it for a day or two and then re-initiate with a fresh conversation.

The one I use depends so much on the situation and the relationship with the girl.

Ryan A June 11, 2013 at 10:36 pm

You definitely always want to stir emotion. Nothing is a bigger turn off to a woman than those that don’t start off with clever, challenging and engaging text. Guess what if you aren’t then you are going to have another creative, fun loving competitor that will and guess what, they will land that attention, they will land that focus and they will eventually land that date if they are consistent.

Ryan A June 11, 2013 at 11:54 pm

How are you doing is the same washed up, recycled, no thought opener. Nowadays what stands out is being clever, period. I haven’t been able to have an impeccable closing record because I open with “Hey how are you doing!” A girl would rather throw hit her skiull with a frying pan than have another no thought, hair brained opener like “How are you doing”. You say that to your step mom you haven’t talked to in a few days, not a woman you want to date.

If you are looking for clever responses there is an app called Alpha Text that is #1 on the market right now in terms of content and quality. It’s actually used just for that reason, when you can’t think of witty content to engage a woman. Definitely worth checking out. I vouch for it.

Jay October 24, 2013 at 5:39 pm

The advice is good.

TO the ladies who are upset about the article, relax. You missed the point. This article’s purpose is to help single guys stand out. By NOT being boring with the usual “hey how are you” text messages. By having fun and interesting conversations. Look, if he texts you then he is interested. If he gives you fun engaging conversation even better.

zman November 13, 2013 at 8:35 pm

Many Women honestly believe that men should chase them and they should have the option to pick and chose from all the guys running after them, and tons of foolish guys reinforce this notion by showering attractive women with attention they have not earned at all! Men who show interest in a Woman and then WAIT to see if the Woman subtly reciprocates and gives them the green light to move forward do far better then these “Chasers”

Me November 17, 2013 at 11:08 pm

Again. (Since Zman didn’t get it.) Men: PLEASE show interest in a woman if you’re interested!

HOWEVER

Be fully aware that we will probably not reciprocate the interest if it’s a canned message or new manipulation of “How are you?” Hands down. I’ve tried being nice to everyone: the “Hi”s, the “Wassup”s, and the “How are you? I’d really like to get to know you.” But then I’m swamped with a lot of the same old conversation: “what’s up? what you coin? oh ok cool. So why are you single? oh ok. I’m not bothering you am I?” COME ON

But I always make it clear that an opener that will grab my attention will elicit a much more positive reaction. If you’re mad because you think your “How are you? I’d like to get to know you” is sufficient, ok, you are entitled to your opinion. IF you think that having to “come up with something” is just some chasing nonsense, okay. Enjoy your lack of creativity. Someone Will Reciprocate. But it probably isn’t going to be many (IF ANY) females. I know my worth, and I invest a lot into myself and my own life. If you think you don’t have to match that with a canned message, because “it’s just a game and a chase, you just want attention,” enjoy another night of complaining how you’re so single and you don’t know why, because you’re a “nice guy” but no one gives him a chance.

That’s all this article was trying to say.

Edwin February 22, 2014 at 4:32 am

i am intrested with one the ladies in my class but unfortunately she told me she is currently dating someone,i told we can be friends though but still she doesnt seem too happy about that,when replaying my text she takes like 20 minutes even though its genuine.I acnt understand that

Cam February 22, 2014 at 8:33 am

@ Edwin – Thanks for commenting! I definitely understand the situation. Because she’s set the boundary with you, it’s important for you to just take a step back and remain cool. Don’t text too much – it gives the wrong idea – but a text here and there is ok. 20 minutes to respond isn’t a big deal, people are busy. It’s always good not to respond right away because it shows too much investment. Focus on just building rapport and having good vibes – her smiling & laughing are your goal!

Val March 23, 2014 at 9:49 am

Interesting tips. My experience taught me all these games may or may not wrk. NO GUARANTEE! I found out that if a girl really likes u, u don’t hv to do anything. What’s scary is, 90% of the time, women hv no idea what they want. If she’s having a great hair day, mneh maybe…

Cam March 23, 2014 at 11:27 am

@ Val – Thanks for commenting. I definitely agree with you!

Val March 23, 2014 at 11:40 am

Keep doing what you’re doing. Pretty helpful. Oh women women, what are we going to do with y’all? You pretty beautiful gorgeous weird confusing awesome creatures. I freakin’ love y’all. Lol.

St Stephy April 25, 2014 at 12:07 pm

It´s funny how most girls disagree on this. I´m a girl too, I don´t think it´s bad advice, I just think it needs “retouching” to become “great” advise. I think the controversy is mostly focused on the “Make statements rather than asking questions”. I agree with most girls here in the sense that if a guy I just met once texts me something like “My day was like this” instead of “How was your day?” I would disregard him as selfish. Many girls, will be attracted to this, that is true. Those are the wrong girls. “Player” girls are not attracted to you, they are usually also “playing the game”. If she´s a bad player, she´ll just confuse you, if she´s a good player, she´ll always outplay you.
But it is also true that when a guy I barely know starts asking how my day was, and all, if I don´t like him yet, I´d be like… “what do you care?!”.
The perfect text for the situation, I say, would start with a statement, preferably funny with a subtext about you, and still showing a bit of interest. For example, if when you met her, she mentioned that she loves The Beatles, maybe send her an image from your ipod with “The Beatles” playing, and text something short like “I was at work and this came up, reminded me of you, good day!”.
Even if I didn´t really like the guy that much, that would be a great text. First off, it states that you have a life and she´s not part of it. Second, even though you are telling her that you think about her, the subtext is that you don´t think about her all day, the song had to come up for you to remember, so you don´t look needy. Third, it states you clearly as a listener, as something you told him stayed in his head, but it doesn´t seem “obsessive”, since it´s such a random thing. Women like to think too much, keep a woman guessing, and you´ll get something out of her, just a statement, is likely to kill her interest. A well planned statement, however, can make the difference.
If you can´t remember anything she told you, then don´t waste her time.
Women are all about subtext. We´ll read subtext that you didn´t put there. The best you can do is put some. If you don´t want to tell her that somehting reminded you of her, don´t, she´ll still read the subtext if whatever you sent her is related to something she told you.

Cam April 25, 2014 at 1:15 pm

@ St Stephy – Thanks for commenting! I agree with what you’ve said. I think the main reason behind using “statements instead of questions” is that for men it’s very easy to get into “interview mode,” where it’s question after question after question which is BORING, for you and for him.

It’s more about how do you make the texts more playful and fun, light, upbeat, and intriguing instead of “so what did you have for dinner?”

Thanks for contributing to the discussion. 🙂

YeahNo May 3, 2014 at 12:33 pm

If you’re reading articles like this to help you improve your game chances are you are NOT attractive. When a girl sees you as her type, it won’t matter what you text her, she will reply fast and keep the topic interesting just like how men try.

I am not a 10/10 but I am better looking than some, sometimes I text hers hey and get paragraphs of a reply with lots of smily face. When I ugly and fat as hell I’d do the same thing.

if she’s interested in you and by that I mean she finds you attractive just as how you found her attractive, she will respond to whatever you text her

joe May 4, 2014 at 1:06 pm

how can i get a girl that likes me but is playing hard to get and acts like shes not interested to start texting me first

Cam May 4, 2014 at 6:26 pm

@ YeahNo – I fundamentally disagree with you.

@ Joe – How can you tell she’s playing hard to get? How long have you known her? Can you give me a bit more background into the interactions?

StStephy May 5, 2014 at 3:29 pm

@yeahno that´s like telling girls “Just show cleavage, and he´ll like you” It´s not that it doesn´t work, it´s just that it indulges the kind of behaviour you want to avoid, and in filters out the kind of people you want to be with. If you count on just being attractive to stand out, girls will respond to you, but they´ll be soon bored of you. You think you´re winning, but you leave the ball on their court entirely, you just don´t realize you´re the one being played by that “technique”. Many handsome guys don´t get much out of girls because they come out as boring (not that they necessarily are, they´re just not too good at displaying it.) If you don´t need the advise, that´s cool, but don´t put it down for guys who can benefit from it. Even less by saying “be handsome, and girls will like you”. That´s no advise at all.
@Joe are you sure she´s just playing hard to get? Stop texting her, calling, tweeting, liking her on facebook, etc. Have an “excuse”, so she won´t resent you for “playing her, in case she´s “the real deal”.
There´s this concept of girl that almost all girls know and guys seem unaware of their existance (we call them “todosmíos” in spanish, I´m not sure if there´s a word for it in english) and they´re usually playing “hard to get”. These girls are interested in you liking them, not in you. If you ignore her, she looks for you, once you´re back in her net, she´ll ignore you. Is this a behaviour you are familiar with? if so, stay away. If when you stop texting her, she doesn´t text back, but posts lots of tweets, or facebook posts, or Whatsapp statuses, etc (something that she KNOWS you will see) about how upset she is that you´re ignoring her, or how much it sucks when guys ignore you, text her first, it may be a test. Contrary to what many guys think, girls don´t always use “tests” to play with you, they´re also a way for her family and firends to see how “worthy” you are, in case you two become “a thing”, this can also be a sign of a “complicated” woman, but it´s showing that your behavior actually means something to her and gets her. If this is the case, after ignoring her for a day or two (depending on how intense the “indirect” bombing is) text her, provide your excuse say “sorry” like it´s no big deal, if she´s angry, I recommend walking (too complicated), if she acts like it´s “nothing” (even after all the indirect bombing) tell her, as a random comment that sometimes you forget you have a mobile phone while living your real life, if she doesn´t eventually text you after that, she´s not that interested. If she´s completely unresponsive, no question about it, she´s not that interested. Even if she´s playing hard to get, if even after imagining the chance of losing you for never texting firs she insists on playing hard to get, she´s not that interested.
Hope it helps.

Cam May 5, 2014 at 3:38 pm

Great advice! Thanks StStephy

Oscar Torres May 31, 2014 at 10:48 am

Ok so im in the friendzone right now with this girl i have been texting for at least a week now and i need help by trying to get her to chase after me becuase she keeps saying like one word responses like “Ok” “Cool” and stuff and it annoys tf out of me. I also cant like hangout or anything with her she lives far. So im trying to get her through text any help?

Cam May 31, 2014 at 12:33 pm

@ Oscar – Focus on changing her mood not her mind. If you’re getting short answers you can try being more playful and making sure that you give her something to respond to. Feel free to email me a few examples and I’ll look at them.

Nick83 December 5, 2014 at 5:16 pm

I think what is really needed is a solid mix here. I agree that if a girl takes 10 mins to respond, wait a little bit, but not 10 mins every time, switch it up and make it seem like your actually out and about doing stuff and you cant reply at regular intervals. Better yet get up off your ass and go do something, she might be impressed that you dont sit on the couch all day.

Secondly, you can ask “How was your day” or “what are you up to”, just maybe not the first text of the day. Make that statement that sets you apart, tell a couple of jokes, and right when you feel like you dont know what statement to make next, BOOM ask her how her day is and make the conversation about her. Then ask her to hang out tomorrow or something.

All in all its a conversation, and if she isn’t ganna give you a second look cause some other guy got her interest, then talk to another girl. Im not saying keep a stable but not putting all of your eggs into one basket makes life a little easier to handle.

Cam December 5, 2014 at 5:20 pm

@ Nick83 – Thanks for commenting. I definitely agree with everything you’ve said here. Texting is about keeping things fun and fresh. Being predictable is the easiest way to become boring! Most importantly, it’s about actually having a life that you can share proudly. That makes it a lot easier 🙂

story_of_my_life March 8, 2015 at 1:35 pm

i went out on a date with this girl and although i felt like we played the interview game a bit I think we both had a good time. i text her GL for an interview the next day at night and the next morning she responded back saying thank you. I followed up with a text that i thought she was cute and didn’t get a response. about 2 hours later i sent another text following up on a conversation we had last night about a book and left it at “not sure if you’ve read it”. it’s been almost 2 days.
what advice do you have in this situation?

Cam March 9, 2015 at 3:52 pm

@ Story_of_my_life – Thanks for commenting! In this situation I would just focus on meeting other women and not getting too focused on this one in particular. Sometimes things flow and sometimes not.

In the future if she doesn’t respond I wouldn’t ask if she got it. Seems a bit needy. And always make sure your texts are interesting and have something for her to respond to. If you say “you’re cute” all she can respond with is “thanks”

Focus more on having texts that open conversations. Also, to be honest I like calling MUCH more than texting. Texting is overrated. We also have an ebook on texting available here: http://gum.co/continuedconnection

Scott.C April 15, 2015 at 6:48 pm

I can’t keep a conversation going and my gf doesn’t like it my life is boring and I don’t have anything to do we
Talk about our day then it’s just awkward, she told me today that I wasn’t an interesting guy and we bond so good.

We had broken up before but everytime we are outside with each other we end up kissing cause we fall in love ( we both have the same friends ) i don’t know if we should be together? Any suggestions??

lalagirl April 17, 2015 at 3:56 pm

I hate when guys ask “how are you?”, “how’s your day/week going”, “any plans for the weekend?” boooring. What am I supposed to say? fine, yep, nope. When guys ask me questions like this, I assume this is the extent of your conversational skills and I lose interest. Take too long to respond and my attentions move on.

Cam April 18, 2015 at 2:56 pm

@ Scott.C – Thanks for commenting! The truth is the easiest way to have more interesting things to talk about is to have a more interesting life. What hobbies or passions do you have? Do you have a bucket list? How are you spending your free time? These are all things you can work on that will help you have more interesting conversations… because you’re doing more interesting things. I’d recommend creating an impossible list and going from there: http://superheroacademy.net/impossible-list/

You can also grab our ebook (link above) that will help you shape your conversations better so they aren’t so boring.

Lalagirl – Thanks for commenting! Happy to hear your perspective 🙂

wow May 13, 2015 at 2:30 pm

Crazy, all this just to get a piece if azz! Anyone who gets played deserves it. Try looking for a MATE instead of a DATE and you will have better luck. True love is not about games. Sure it has to start somewhere but if you’re trying to start a relationship out of games.. Good luck. When 2 people truly have a connection, there are no games. It blossoms on its own, naturally, in a mature, respectful manner. There may be concern, confusion, even jealousy at first but that is normal when you’re getting to know somebody you really like because you don’t know each others demeanors, moods, way of life, etc. if you want to find your forever, playing games is not going to get you anywhere and if you just want to get laid then you lack maturity and deserve whatever comes with it.

Ladeda May 22, 2015 at 4:02 pm

Honestly this might work on some women but not all females! I am an attractive lady and have plenty of men persuing me as well as women. When some is not just themselves and real I cut them out right away I can tell they are playing games. People that play games are easy to spot and are a huge turn off! If a guy or girl has a kinky side, is not into monogamy, whatever the case maybe just be up front don’t play text games. This game is for basic bitches suffering from major insecurities.

Austin July 6, 2015 at 10:18 am

OK so there is this girl that I find really attractive. But the problem is I never see her around and when I do it is with a bunch of her female friends. I’m not great at approaching girls the way it is so groups like that makes it more difficult. I’m not sure what I should do. I mean I’m friends with her and stuff on social media but starting a conversation through Facebook probably won’t get me anywhere. Should I message her or keep waiting hoping to see her alone in public?

Cam July 6, 2015 at 9:44 pm

@ Austin – Thanks for commenting. Message her. Don’t overthink it too much. Be confident in yourself and keep the conversation light and playful. After talking with her for a few minutes grab her number and tell her you’ll text her sometime. 🙂

Joseph July 9, 2015 at 11:02 am

so i already have the girl… we’ve been going out for two and a half months now… she thinks i’m losing interest or just not connecting. how can i fix this? please help, i really like her and i want to be more interesting and have things to talk about…

Cam July 10, 2015 at 12:15 am

@ Joseph – Hey! If you want to be more interesting and have things to talk about do more interesting things. Create a bucket list, big and small, and go on more adventures. That’s the easiest way to have more to talk about. Doing more things worth talking about. 🙂

And the world cries out August 5, 2015 at 7:38 pm

This article is the saddest thing I’ve ever read.

One of the most important bits of advice I can give is: don’t hide your gifts. If you can work a rhyme or a poem into the message, then two things happen: 1. You’ll keep her entertained 2. She’ll see that you’ve got creative juices and you’re not a mindless ape.

What I’m saying directly relates to what was previously emphasized. Creativity. Creativity. Creativity. Or else natural selection will see to it that you’re doomed to live a desolate life w/o any women to keep to company. If I was a woman, I wouldn’t waste my time on a man whose void of skill or talent.

MJI September 17, 2015 at 1:17 pm

I love how you write about how women have other guys talking to them too..There is truth to that however,Thats not the same case for me. im a single woman. Yes, I get hit on allll the time. However, I dont have a line of guys after me on my phone. I got better things to do. Most guys are ONLY looking for one thing anyhow. Most my guy friends are gay anyways. But seriously, if two people are interested in eachother and the chemistry works out perfectly, everything else should just flow naturally. Fuck games! No one likes it. We just put up with it because of todays society. Everyone is afraid to say how they feel because of what another person would think. its all stupid.

tunchy November 7, 2015 at 3:12 pm

u guys ahh u are confusing me

Kluda December 1, 2015 at 1:17 pm

The best way through a relationship is remaining focused on your”goal, ambition,” a woman Will always follow

Pam mewska December 26, 2015 at 12:01 am

Honestly, we are lucky enough to build relationships without being face to face. How about don’t try to get a girl unless you’ve met and she wants to see you again for sure. Like the old days. How our parents did it

Max January 4, 2016 at 7:45 pm

I think people are taking the word game too seriously. Its not like hes telling you to play a game, the OP taught some people to express themselfs in a clever, funny manor through text. A skill many men lack. Its called a “game” because its a skill.

Cam January 4, 2016 at 9:38 pm

@ Max – I agree. 🙂

Meh January 14, 2016 at 5:25 pm

As a guy, it can be difficult to interpret a woman’s true intention via text. Just recently, a woman gave me her number so I could text her but she seems too busy to respond half the time, which I get. She’ll respond eventually but then most of the time it seems like I engage more in conversation then she does. So I back off a bit to see if she comes up with something…Nada!

I don’t mind playing the game, I’m always up for a challenge and is pretty exciting. But it gets to a point where I’m done playing games. It’s a two way street, and if she doesn’t show enough interest then why bother?

Jarrod February 4, 2016 at 6:48 pm

I have plenty of experience in the failed relationship spectrum. What I never learned to do was to break up the monotony of my game. Girls are girls, they like playing games, they love being interested. To keep a feeble mind interested you must run a tight game that keeps them on their toes.

Women are the only part on the lady spectrum that doesn’t like being played. Women have a limited time for bullshit. I loved being with women, but when you are in your 20’s and they are 40 there is limited shelf life. Girls from 18 – 30ish love the game, they want to be played and do not like stability. If you have more interest than them in the relationship they will lose interest. Its just how it is.

I have had plenty of relationships and time dealing with girls that were attracted to me, and I developed the same attraction and magically they leave. You have to be mysterious, and fill them with wonder. Like “I wonder what he is doing?…” “Why isn’t he talking to me?” You don’t have to be a man whore, but you have to run a tight game if you want to attract a young girl. It doesn’t matter how much she is into you. The moment that you give them the same attitude or whatever they equate you as easy, or easy to figure out. Once they figure out your magical recipe for your potion, its over.

The point that you make them fill that you are way into them, for some reason they lose interest. It is not a coincidence if a lot of guys talk about this. You cannot reciprocate that same feeling, you be there for her in hard times, and always be focused on what you are doing. When you are always texting them etc, they tend to hate you. Keep your distance fellas, you have been warned.

olivia March 28, 2016 at 1:38 pm

These type of tips are just shit. Its everywhere in internet and its common sense. No cure to couples who are getting bored to everyday daily texts.

Jonath April 25, 2016 at 1:40 pm

I got a message from girl first, which is rare. After a few messages she asked if I was on Kik , so she game me her name and I added her. We had a few messages back and forth, then issued her if she was free sometime in the next couple of weeks. She responded with ‘yes, but you will have to improve your game..’

Kristine May 16, 2016 at 11:31 am

Hi there! As a woman and a therapist, I can tell you that there are all kinds of women out there so what will work with one won’t “work” with another one. I have personally found that a healthy person mentally is most attractive to me, meaning that I sense he is being himself, that he is kind and actually cares about whether I feel good about our conversation, and that he is treating me and himself with respect. Frankly, I don’t want someone who is playing games or allowing women to play games with them. I prefer a gentleman. One who follows up like an intelligent, respectful human being and strives to know me a little better so he can show me a good time. Texting is silly. And at the same time an okay low investment connection. I would prefer a bit of both. And I should say this too…. Someone who only texts and never calls is immediately off the list. That is a turn off of the highest proportions! Guys, write me back with your thoughts please. I love to hear your perspective.

Kristine May 16, 2016 at 11:34 am

Jonath,

What do you think she meant by that? You have to improve your game?

Kristine

Kristine May 16, 2016 at 11:37 am

Amen, Meh!

Paula May 24, 2016 at 5:41 pm

I don’t understand why people need to pretend is something that is not when texting. The number 1 sucks so much, believe me, when a girl knows that a guy is taking too long to answer then she takes longer, and that game is boring. At the end the conversation has no sense and you don’t know how to keep texting cause you’re taking 12 hours to answer. So be honest with yourself and be yourself, at the end you will know each other enough to see or not a match. Maybe you can’t wait to receive a text from this person, so don’t act as a super busy person when you’re literally diying to look at it, but have a healthy relation with your phone and don’t let it to interfere in your daily obligations.
So yeah, when you’re playing a girl who knows you are playing you are destined to failure, its like a falling/downgoing? graphic, when the first day you got the highest attention and it ends decaying to 0.
Excuse my bad english 🙁

lucy June 6, 2016 at 8:16 am

I met a guy and i found him attractive but he texts me every day the same Hello, how are you, how is your day going… when I got home I see text from him how was your day? what are you up to…. At the begging I thought wow he is really interested but now I barely replay and I am loosing interest. Lucy

Just-in June 20, 2016 at 11:51 pm

aye Cam Ive been reading this and its most definitely interesting but are y’all sure that’s something that every guy can work with i mean not every guys personality fits the bill of every chic…..that’s why the need for interest come in and in some cases i know of this really amazing girl who just doesn’t know how to express herself publicly and she recently got hurt by some guy and now she kind of thinks its a farce which she will continuously refuse to acknowledge btw she hates compliments……..and that just plays my mind…..its not like she gets one every two minutes and shit she just thinks its all a big lie
PS….she once told a guy her heart is with Christ and my guess she wants a guy to literally die first to get it……i dont think she would fall for this whole text game thing

pete July 4, 2016 at 3:55 am

Im a guy who wasn’t to big on communicate with girl back in high school and still today. I try dating sites none of them seem to workout for me. I hate when it come to putting down self summary feel like nothing i say really interesting. I wanna know will this book help me communicate better with girl are in general? Everything go well but then again i feel like it go sour.

Arnie September 22, 2016 at 6:59 pm

I’ll try to make this quick as possible.

There’s this chick in my college class. We hit it off on the first day, to the point that I kissed her after walking with her to her car. I won’t lie it was easily the smoothest and most confident I’ve ever been. Also the chemistry between us was on point. Again never really experienced it like that before.

Texted her a bit- and got her on a first date. We walked- talked got food- held hands while walking after and kissed some. I asked her if I’d get to take her on a second date to which she replied of course I thought it went really well.

We had class again and walked held hands after class hung out for a while.. the next week was busy for both of us. She was throwing some huge b-day party for her and her cousins and I was moving. I’d text her over the next few days with little to no responses. I figured she was just busy or whatever so I maybe sent one text mid morning to after noon and would get something back at night but it didn’t go further then that. The next class was a holiday so I didn’t see her but asked her out on Wednesday cause she was going out of town Thursday-sunday. Initially she agreed then cancelled pretty quick after saying she didn’t realize how much hw she had to do before she left. While she was away I’d send out a text and get one back at the end of the day or not at all. I was cool with it though. So I saw her the next monday and again we hung out for a little while- kissed before saying goodbye. At this point I was like fuck it and invited her over for dinner (and dessert nawmean) on Thursday. She agreed then cancelled because of some stuff she had to do ( she had mentioned it monday, so I’m pretty sure it was legit) and SHE suggested the next day.

This is where it gets to the point where I’m pretty sure I need to cut her off though….

So on Friday she’s at this funeral thing drinking wine and whatnot (good for me I’m thinking) I confirmed @ 2:30 that she was coming. She said yes but she would need to uber or I could come get her. I offered to come get her. She didn’t even look at the message for 4 hours (it was on snapchat) then when she did just said Heyy!!!. I responded back pretty quick and asked if she changed her mind. Again didn’t open the message, so I texted her and said I had been waiting around for hours but my friends just hit me to hangout (they did) and that I’d wait 30 mins to hear back from her. 5 mins later I get a text saying how sorry she was and that she got caught up but hoped I had fun with my friends and didn’t ruin my night. I just said all good. The next day I was doing something and checked my phone and had a missed call from her so I just texted her and asked if she called or butt dialed. 3 hours later I texted her again and just said hey I’m not mad or anything, but if you arent feeling it yiu could just say so. We don’t have to play games. She responded pretty quick saying she’s sorry she hasn’t been herself the last few weeks and she sorry she’s been being rude. Shes not one for games she’s been really busy and it’s just bad timing. And that she isn’t much of a serious dating person.

I told her great me either ( I learned the hard way if you go into something wanting it to be serious.. it will be. Seriously bad. 5 yr relationship. Cheated on and walked out on for a guy 13 yrs older, seriously this is why nothing phases me anymore) anyways I left it alone- saw her on Monday. We walked to her car but she didn’t stay to hangout cause she wanted to take a nap, but I did still kiss her and she kissed me back and we had agreed to go mini golf at some point this week(it’s 5 mins from my place hehehe). we’re talking later that night and I found out what her reason was for not wanting to get serious with anyone. Then she said she wasnt sure at first if i was a fuckboy or a confident gentlmen and now that she knew i was an awesome person she felt bad pretending shes much more then a female fuckboy. I assured her I have my commitment issues myself and that even though I’m nice I’m not a softy. She asked why I had my issues. I told her I’d prefer not to talk about it rn(she doesn’t need to know till after we smash, or not at all).

So yesterday we had got into talking about sex cause I told her I had a sex dream about her and she rolled with it. I told her she was a freak haha and she said if only you knew… I said let’s find out. She said hehe maybe (kiss emoji).. anyways this lead to me kinda trying to get some nudes and she stopped responding hahaha. She sent me a selfie snap later (not nude) and I said she was looking good. No response. Haven’t talked or heard from her since.

At this point I KNOW she’s playing games… not sure if she’s just playing hard to get or just not interested. but some of the sexual stuff she was saying made me want her that much more! And I still have to see her every Monday, so I’m not sure how to proceed. On the one hand I wanna smash and I COULD be close. On the other I feel like I could be wasting my time, getting played etc in which case I know I should cease contact regardless of if she hits me up. (I’ve tried to cut her off a few times already but she’ll either message me or send me snapchats). So what do you think?

mansour October 9, 2016 at 10:28 am

I think when a woman love ❤ a man she will accept any text or word from him and make her happy 😄 with any text subject just act normal with no games and the same thing applied to a man when love ❤ a women he like every word from her

Sawyer October 18, 2016 at 4:16 pm

hello my names sawyer, I have some intresting questions. I’m talking to a girl who’s in 10th grade also a grade above mine. She can drive and it bothers me. She’s very important and I just needs some tips on how to be more mature with her. How do I be more confident with her?

There is a dance she told a guy that she would go to in December before she met me. How should I take this. It very well bothers me. I want to wake up in the morning like you said prepared and happy

Chu Kem November 3, 2016 at 6:48 am

If you’re going to learn how to text a girl, you absolutely need to make sure that you do not send an explicit image. Even if you get one first, avoid this like the plague. This is something that no girl or woman likes, with very few exceptions.
Ask how her day has been going, and what the highlight was. Ask an open ended question as you get to know her, including what her favorite books, movies, and records are. The more you can just ask questions and reply a bit, the longer she’ll want to text.
Never reply in a hurried manner. Don’t push the envelope, don’t panic, and don’t try to insinuate that you’re waiting. You’ll need to have a lot more patience than most. The more patient you are, the better off your conversations will go down the line.
For more powerful strategies for hooking up with the woman of your dreams, visit Getting The Girl http://hookingupwithanywoman.com

dvidel January 5, 2017 at 12:00 am

I turn things around and make her do all the questions as I answer, am I wrong doing this?

Madison January 30, 2017 at 1:04 pm

Hi
So there is this guy I really like. He said that we’re ‘friends that have crushes on each other’ we flirt back and for all the time, but he doesn’t want a relationship.. I’m not sure if I can carry on like this. Advice?
Thanks.

jeffrey g anderson February 5, 2017 at 3:00 pm

Then what makes you not respond to a guy?

dean riyami February 8, 2017 at 8:40 am

Thing is from online dating website I have no problem getting a number and even arranging a date. The problem starts when we start messaging say by Whatsapp and the conversation dies down and the chances of a date actually happens seems kind of small…Even though speaking on the dating app everything is fine and I follow the above rules. Maybe I should even message them at all even when I get their number??

Advice please.

Dawn March 8, 2017 at 1:57 pm

Really?! This should be titled, “How to Be a Douche 101,” or “How to Play The Game and Get the Hookup.” You can’t coach someone to cultivate a relationship with a crush. You may be able to encourage them to step out and take risks, but this? This only aims to help him put up a facade of being cool, fickle and brazen. This is how EVERY guy acts who only wants to hookup! A woman looking for something real who gets hit on all the time will see this coming a mile away! It’s a turn off. You can be coy, funny, and interesting without playing this tug-of-war game. . .it’s called being yourself. Since when did showing a Gemini one interest in her become a “No-no”?
Nothing ventured nothing gained.
If the guys want to take this article as sound advice. . . By all means. Lol

zaid March 11, 2017 at 12:00 pm

How about asking her how was your day instead of how was your day?

Mark21 June 7, 2017 at 7:59 am

Hi, do you allow guest posting on kingpinlifestyle.com ? 🙂 Let me know on my email

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