“One thing I love about Kingpin Is that everybody is serious about leveling up.” Mikey B said, as he looked forward at the Shell Gas Station sign. It’s 1:30pm, with time leaking away on my busy schedule. Somehow, with everything in my life that needs to get done today, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be, than sitting here at this gas station talking about how the relationships with others has caused massive amounts of emotional growth in my life.
It is said that those that cannot do, teach. Those that cannot teach, do. Social Dynamics has changed my life, because what I’ve realized is that in Social Dynamics there are no students, and no teachers. There are only students. When a client takes a course with Kingpin Social I am not teaching him how to socialize, I am showing him how to become a student of life. The best part about creating more students out of life, is that we’re all learning different lessons, based on our experiences and perspectives. Social Dynamics says that we grow together, because my experiences can help you grow and your experiences can do the same for me.
Every day is an experience to be had, every experience is a lesson to be learned . You are a result of your relationships, meaning that the relationships that you have in your life shape who you become. The relationship that you have with yourself, the relationship that you have with tools, and the relationship that you have with others are the fundamental building blocks to finding yourself.
I’ve found that lately I’ve been focused on building a solid relationship with myself. Taking myself seriously doesn’t just mean going to the gym and approaching girls; taking myself seriously means facing my fears and organizing all the cluttered areas of my life. Taking myself seriously means that I’m cleaning my house, that I’m developing my passion, that I’m facing the fears that hold me back from the success that I want to achieve. Over the course of the past week I’ve found that the emotion of fear never goes away. The difference between success and failure, though, is being able to face the emotion that you fear.
Relationships are based off of an exchange of value. Value is based on emotion, because emotion is the core of communication. That means the relationship that you build with yourself is based on emotion. Having a healthy relationship with yourself means that you have a positive emotion with your physical body, your current environment, and the types of options that you have (social circle, business, personal). We have a natural tendency to feel our emotion, and embrace our emotion. If we feel sad, we’ll sit at home moping. If we feel angry, we embrace the anger and lash out. If we feel love, we’ll embrace the feeling of the chemicals running through the body.
FEEL EMOTION >> EMBRACE EMOTION
That means if we feel negative, we embrace negative. If we feel positive, we embrace positive.
This past week what we’ve realized at Kingpin is that if you do not like the emotion that you feel, you can change it. You cannot change the emotion that you feel by running from it though, because if you run from a negative emotion, even if you run fast, eventually it’ll catch up. If you do not like the emotion that you feel, you must face your emotion. You must face the element in your life that makes you feel that emotion, and open up; allowing the other person to understand why it is that you feel that emotion.
FACE EMOTION >> FEEL EMOTION >> EMBRACE EMOTION
Habitually we design comfort zones for ourselves to keep us safe, and secure. I believe that at the core of our humanity, we all desire to be understood. Conversation continues on with head nods, words of agreement to create a real, positive connection. Even conversations where disagreements exist, time and energy is invested into the conversation to get the other person to try to understand your point of view.
When two people don’t understand each other, they cannot have a relationship. In order to understand someone, you must first allow them to understand you. That means when you feel an emotion, positive or negative, you cannot bottle it up. You must feel it. Once you feel it, if this is the emotion that you want to feel, you must embrace it.
If you do not like the emotion that you feel, though, you must face your emotion.
At the core of our being, we all desire to be understood. The stand up comedian desires to be understood, connecting with his audience before going into his routine. The movie script with a storyline everyone can follow desires to be understood by the audience it plays for, the lover desires to be understood by his significant other, the friend desires understanding from his friends.
This is why we create comfort zones for ourselves. It’s scary, knowing that you might go out there and meet someone who may not understand you. If someone does not understand you, they will be unable to build a connection with you. If you don’t know how to face your emotions and be genuine while approaching your fears, people will be unable to understand your routines, your approach, your greeting.
The way you do something is the way you do everything. By destroying our biggest comfort zones that we create for ourselves, our social circles, that ability to face our fears trickles into every other area of life. Following your passion has always been scary, but if you face the fear that you feel, you’ll be able to feel the love of passion and embrace it. Unless you face your fears though, you’ll be stuck feeling that fear and embracing it.
What are you afraid of? Face your fears and invest into Social Dynamics, and start figuring out how to develop relationships in your life. The biggest problem that I’ve come to in my life is thinking that I’m “good enough” already. Truth is, everyone needs to grow. Some choose to be limited by their ego; validating through language that they’re already good enough, and most choose to make the decision to grow. You are a result of your relationships. If you want to grow, you must build relationships with people that are dedicated to growth. If this is something that interests you, shoot us a message here.