The Journey to Discover Yourself Leads Back to the Beginning

by Brian

Child Development

The family that you are born into shapes the way you view the world for the rest of your life.

My mother had me when she was 17 years old. She was the oldest of 4 siblings; she had 2 younger sisters and 1 younger brother. She wore trench coats in the months leading up to my birth to hide her belly – she didn’t want her father (my grandfather) to know that she would give birth at such a young age. As for my father, he wasn’t around on the day of my birth. To this day I’m not sure where he lay his head.

My mother gave birth to 5 children over the course of the next 13 years. All of my brothers and sisters were half-blood on paper, true love in life. I was raised by numerous “father figures”. I never had a one who remained a consistent source of discipline for rowdy behavior in my developing years. By the time I had turned 8 I was too much for my young mother to handle. She passed me off to my grandmother, who understood children more than she did, to be raised for the next few years.

My entire life I was given all the freedom in the world to express myself. From the day of my birth to this present moment I have been blessed with the desire to create and the ability to express myself through writing, speaking, and physical activity.

Perceive; become aware of conscious of (something); come to realize or understand

I have been given the greatest gift.

I am the only animal on this planet who can make complex decision by a comparison of, what my perception believes to be, “facts”. The ability to perceive gives me the unique ability to recognize patterns, learn previously unknown skills, develop incredible talents and take the quality of my life to unlimited levels.

Thoughts are unlimited, and my mind harnesses thought.

I believe our present moment perception is a result of every experience that has happened up to this moment. Each experience, every decision, every person that has been a part of your life has been an essential piece of your puzzle. Had one experience in your life happened differently you wouldn’t be reading this article, in this moment. Your present moment perception is constructed by each one of your past experiences; the most influential fractions of your perception coming from the earliest years of your life.

Most of the brains cells are formed before birth, but most of the connections among cells are made during infancy and early childhood. Early experience and interaction with the environment are most critical in a child’s brain development. The outside world shapes the child’s development by the child becoming conscious of its environment through it’s 5 senses.

The brain’s development depends directly on the environment it is raised in. A baby born in China will have a brain that develops and wires itself to interact with it’s environment – which means to understand Chinese culture, language and tradition. A baby born in America will have a brain that replicates and connects cells to interact with it’s environment – which would mean to understand American culture, language and tradition.

The brain is given genetic cells and hardwires itself to connect with it’s environment.

I’ve always been a leader. My father wasn’t around in the years of my development. I was the man of the house, leading around my younger brothers at the playground, in the house, in the games we played together. Along the way I learned that I can get anything I want if I put in enough effort. This translated into my later years, at 16 years old, when I decided I wanted to develop the talent of approaching strangers on the street, in the bar, in the mall.

I wanted to be able to meet anyone, anywhere. I started approaching people in malls and on the streets. I wasn’t able to get into the bars yet but I was determined to meet new people. I dedicated myself to the local Shopping mall for 2 hours a day, 3 days per week. Through trial and error I developed my communication skills and I started to understand how to connect with people.

My name is Brian Mark. I’m 20 years young. I’ve lived my life for 4 years studying Social Dynamics. I’ve always had an obsession with gaining an edge. I believe that I have unlimited potential. I believe that imagination harnesses thought, and I believe that I can think about anything I want, which means my imagination is unlimited.

I stand behind the idea that if I can think about it, and I’m determined to do it, I can do anything. 

I want to share with you the man that my family has made me. Hopefully through this metaphorical story you can understand the person that your family has made you.

What’s REALLY Going On Inside of My Mind?

Why does a Chinese baby speak Chinese?

Why does he grow up to have Chinese cultural norms? In the young years of a child’s life their brain connects cells that allow them to interact with their environment. The environment that a child is born into shapes his perception of the world, because his brain must intelligently wire itself to interact with his environment. If the child is to survive, he must learn how to communicate with his environments to acquire his wants and needs.

Our norms are in line with the culture around us. Being born in Canada means that you drive on the right hand side of the road. Being born in the U.K. means you drive on the left side of the road. That’s not to say there’s a “right” and a “wrong” side of the road to drive on, but people in each individual culture are raised to accept their cultural norms as “right”. In the culture we’re born into there are individual sub-cultures (family) that each individual child is born into.

With or without their awareness, each family that has a child passes on both their genetics and their belief systems to the child.

Cognitive Development

As an infant your brain wired itself to interact with your environment. In the earlier years you had no choice – conform to the customs of your individual sub-culture (family) to acquire your wants and needs. As you learned how to get you wants and needs, you had to learn their style of communication for love and connection or be rejected (discipline).

As you age and meet new people with different experiences and family values you learn that your is not the only way. You then did one of two things; modeled your family’s behavior or rebelled against it. Whether you’re a rebel or an advocate, the environment you were raised in, created by your family, has shaped your perspective, right now, in this present moment.

Your perception determines the quality of your life.

My environment was an essential catalyst in the formation of my thinking patterns. I am the only life form, a human being, on this planet capable of making complex decisions based on both concrete logic and vivid imagination. The decision making pattern I possess is completely unique and no human being will ever be able to replicate my exact experience or my exact mind; for no human being has lived the experiences I have, in the sequence they happened.

You have been blessed with the ability to create, imagine, discover, explore, problem solve, innovate, and love. The power you yield inside of your mind is strong. It’s amazing, astounding, revolutionary, incredible. It has the power to move mountains, repair broken relationships, and assist another human being’s quality of life.

Often times we stifle our ability to create, innovate, problem solve, discover and explore in fear of losing the connection with our environment. Our brains learned how to interact with our environment from a young age. We behaved in a way that would invite love and acceptance from those around us.

Often times our learned behavior for love, connection and acceptance from our environment stifled our creativity.

You possess the most valuable asset on the planet; your perspective – completely unique of anyone who has ever lived. You are the only one who has lived through your experience in the exact order and sequence that you have; meaning your perspective is one of a kind, now and forever.

No one who lives on this earth will ever share your story or your perspective.

So Why Are You Stuck in Your Mind?

Depression plagues our society. Modern medicine is into repression over expression. The morning newspaper covers tragic events that bring to our awareness the negativity that inhabits the earth. Toxic news makes its way from your television set into your 5 senses; infecting your thoughts with negativity. The negativity quickly replicates and takes control of the state of your mind.

Your mental energy focused can fight any fight, conquer any mountain, and lend a hand to anyone in need.

The negative energy that infects the external world often infects the internal world.

Your culture can either be inspiring or it can be depressing. It is what you make of it. Your family’s culture can be enlightening or depressing. Your brain hardwired itself to interact with it’s environment in the early stages of it’s development; meaning that you are a result of your genetics and your environment. Some of us were blessed with the loving support of our family members, some of us were raised in broken homes with communication issues.

You are a result of your genetics and your environment.

I believe I have no individual purpose.

My perspective is created through my experience; which means my perspective is limited by my experience. In every moment I exist I am doing the best job I know how to with the information I currently know. That goes the same for you – in this present moment you are doing the best job that you can with the information your brain understands.

I believe my purpose is to share my perspective. I believe my purpose is to grow with every human being that lives on this planet. Your perspective will always see something different in my story than mine will; so my purpose is to create Win-Win relationships with the people around me. I share my perspective, in return, you share yours.

Ask yourself how much love you feel throughout the day. Do you feel connected to your close friends? Do you and your family tell each other how much you love each other? Do your close friends remind you of your blood family? Your brain was hardwired to interact with your environment from a young age. Do you want to live a life full of love and connection? First you have to ask yourself what your brain learned to be the “truth” from your sub-culture (family) within your culture.

Household Conflict

What if your environment didn’t communicate using the language of love? What if they yelled and screamed at each other over trivial things? You learned that behavior from your environment. Your brain hardwired itself to connect and strengthen the relationships in the environment as much as possible with the information it knew at the time. Your current relationship building process is based off of learned behaviour in your early years.

Your perspective can also change at any moment in time. It’s simply a decision to be the change you wish to see in the world. I’ve dedicated my life to the development of relationships, and I’d love to help you out.

I got into Social Dynamics because of my desire to be loved. Approaching someone and having them like me, made me like myself. I never learned how to communicate using the language of love in my developing years. I was never kissed goodnight by my parents, I wasn’t given the university tuition, I didn’t get the big, happy family. Small issues sent a ripple effect of disconnect throughout the communication lines of my family.

For 19 years I resented them.

I got into Social Dynamics because I didn’t understand the world around me. I saw people getting into happy relationships with people they loved. I tried to do it for a long time – I would always sabotage myself. I had no idea why. The girls that I dated were completely incredible, the friends that I had were inspiring. Somehow I found a way to destroy every relationship that I got myself into.

I was never good at showing love to my family. How much we loved each other wasn’t exactly the dinner table discussion. It was swept under the rug as an irrelevant detail; when in reality it meant everything. At the core of every human being lives this innate desire to be loved.

For 19 years I lived searching endlessly for love but smashing the opportunities when they came my way. Rightfully so; I had no idea what to do with those opportunities. I didn’t know how to communicate using the language of love. My environment never taught me how to do it. My perspective never saw that love in my house when I grew up.

I came to understand that my perspective is a result of each individual experience that has happened to me, and each individual decision I have made. The family that raised me is perfect, because every experience they have given me is an integral part of who I am as a man. My family is perfect because they have lead me to this article, where I have the opportunity to share my perspective with you.

I believe we were born to communicate, interact, and love each other. We cannot solve the worlds problems by ourselves. Our brain is hardwired by our environment. All it takes is one person to decide to change and the entire dynamic of an environment can change. We were given experiences, and were given imagination. My dream is to live a life full of happiness, abundance and spirit. My desire is to take everyone around me to that same dream.

My family never used the language of love throughout their years; it is only now we’re fixing the dynamic of the family by shifting the way we have viewed our experiences.

My name is Brian Mark. I study Social Dynamics. My purpose is to make a difference in the world, one person at a time. I believe that I am qualified to teach the language of love to anyone and everyone because it is a language that was never spoken in my family for 20 years. Through the fundamental theory we’ve uncovered at Kingpin Social I have forever changed the dynamic of my family, my friends, and every human being I come in contact with.

I’ve made the commitment to teach others to do the same. My commitment is to strengthen every and all relationships in your life in this present moment. Our relationship-building process has been developed based on our past environment. I want to invite you into my current environment to learn knowledge that will take the quality of your life to unforeseen levels.

My decision to make a difference has not only impacted my life, but every generation to come for the next infinite amount of years. My sister has given birth to a niece that will learn how to interact with an environment full of love, support and connection.

I wasn’t the only one that had relationship issues growing up. Everyone in my family had relationship issues. My brain hardwired itself to interact with my environment. Calling my mother and telling her how much I love her for everything she’s done was never something I was taught. I was expected to know she loved me, and she was expected to know I loved her.

Get Out of Your Mind, and Into Your Life

We all have this innate desire to be loved that lives inside of us.

Communication problems in relationships cause mental anxiety which leads to bodily tension. Broken family homes cause the blind to lead the blind into a endless, self-destructing pattern of limiting belief systems. Lack of love in society sucks away the life energy from each individual who turns on the 6 o’clock news. Everyone’s always pointing out the problems; no one’s leading anyone to the solutions.

Mental energy is the most powerful asset in your possession.

Your mental energy has the ability to empower you to overcome any imagined or real obstacle. It also has the power to be the catalyst to your self destruction. Your mind hardwired itself to interact with it’s environment from a young age. That behavior sticks with you to this day. How many times have you censored your beliefs to continue a connection?

You are each experience you have had up to this point. Every external circumstance over which you had no control, every decision you made, everything that has happened to you has been an essential piece of your mental puzzle.

Your family raised you in “x” culture that has “x” beliefs and values about the world. Within your culture, your family has a sub-culture that has unique behavior patterns. Your brain wired connections between cells that taught you how to interact with your environment; created by your family. Your family passed on both their genetics and their belief systems to you. You either model their belief systems or rebel against them.

Either way, your present moment behaviors are a result of the perspective your family has given you. You were born and raised to be the unique man that you are by people around you; the people around you made you who you are.

For 19 years I believed that my mother kicked me out when I was 8, that I didn’t get the love and care that I needed, that I was a child that didn’t have the same things other kids have. It is only now that I understand my development is owed directly to each experience my mother, my stepfather, my grandmother, my auntie, uncle, brothers and sisters, cousins, and everyone who has been involved in my life has given me.

The Key

My mother’s mental development also followed the same pattern as my own. I understand her, through understanding that her experiences created her. She was raised in “x” environment, given “x” beliefs and values about the world and she passed those down to me. My mother did the best job she knew how to with the information she knew at the time. I can only love her for those experiences; for she did not choose the family, environment and circumstances she was born into. Same for her father and mother, same for their father and mother.

Your family passes onto you their genetics and their belief systems.

Become aware of the experiences that have made you who you are. Reflect on your family values. Take a look at your best friends. It’s always easier to analyze the external environment than it is to analyze the self. The people you have in your life right now have similar behavior patterns as you; you are hardwired to communicate with your environment (which was created by your family, who all shared similar beliefs and values).

Who are you?

About Brian
Brian is a firm believer in living in the present. Brian lives his life by the philosophy “Act for the future, not because of the past.” He is a passionate writer, a sober socialite and aspires to be a positive influence to everyone he interacts with. Read more about Brian here.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Raph April 28, 2012 at 3:49 am

This was a nice read! Recognize a lot from our last session. Keep it up and spread the love to the rest of the world (:

Kingston May 2, 2012 at 12:27 am

I love your perspective and I’m stealing it to better my life 😀 Thanks Brian.

Brian Mark May 2, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Raph! Thanks for the love man. I wish you the best over the next month =)

Kingston! My perspective is your perspective. What part of the article rang true for you?

Edwin Avilés November 7, 2013 at 7:21 am

I feel like i just met my twin by reading this. I’ve always thought about becoming a writer, a blogger, or whatever they call it these days. Never has it been so clear to me that that is what i shall do. Thanks Brian..

“I believe that I am qualified to teach the language of love to anyone and everyone because it is a language that was never spoken in my family for 20 years.”

I believe i am also qualified, but not about the language of love, but rather the benevolence of family. I had one person who loved me, my grandma, so even though it was only one person who gave me affection it was enough for me to take it for granted. Once again thank you for this post…

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