I know I am.
It’s like living life in peace is no longer the default. That’s fucked up.
We all know life comes down to the choices you make. And if you didn’t welcome to a new reality.
Since 2008 I have made the choice to cut ALL drama out of my life. Straight up.
And believe me, having drama in your life is absolutely a choice.
I made the choice to live drama-free after I lost five of my best friends to some silly drama. What I found the most ridiculous about that situation was that the problem was only between one friend and myself. Nobody else had to get involved, but naturally, certain types of people will join in the battle, instead of staying off to the side like they could. This made me realize something I still believe today:
Certain people want drama. They chase it.
Why? Because it makes them feel alive. It makes them feel like they matter. (They don’t.)
Need more proof?
How many people do you know that follow celebrity news? How many millions of dollars are made in the gossip magazine industry? Or TV shows like “Entertainment Tonight”? How many people have jobs as paparazzi – their only job to invade peoples privacy for a journalist to use as “evidence” to sell some bullshit story, and with it, more magazines.
I think the point is proven.
So what do we do with these types of people?
There’s only one choice: you have to cut them out of your life entirely. Set the boundary. Make it black or white. No gray area. No debate. This cannot be open for discussion. (More on setting boundaries in a video blog I did, which you can view by clicking here or scrolling down.)
Think about it like this: if you are the average of your five closest friends (as Brian talks about him his book – you can download it for free here), and one of them causes drama, that brings your stock down. Let’s push it further: Just like you are the average of your five closest friends, the concept also applies to your friends. So if they have a friend who causes drama, it brings their stock down, and with it, yours.
Institute a NO DRAMA policy.
No ifs, ands or buts. If someone causes drama, be a man (or woman) and let them know that it is not accepted and will not be tolerated. You value them as a friend which is why you are giving them the heads up. If it happens again, adios!
The friends I eventually cut out were given the heads up, and when drama happened again, I didn’t even contact them. The relationship was ended. I didn’t need to notify them. They called, I didn’t call back. They texted, I didn’t text back. I deleted them off Facebook if I needed to. Of course you could say some of these are drastic measures… but I don’t give a fuck. It’s my life and with a zero tolerance policy for drama, drastic measures need to be taken. Otherwise you end up having to deal with bullshit problems time and time again.
I value my time and my life more than that.
One more thing before I go: Being the middleman still counts. If there is drama between two friends, you can stay out of it. OR you can let them both know that this is affecting your relationships, which means it’s affecting you, and they need to figure out a solution that works, because you have no tolerance for drama in any way in your life! Be assertive; let them know what’s up.
Apply this principle today and enjoy living your life with as little drama as possible. It will never go away fully, but you can have a serious impact on the amount you have to deal with, and every time unavoidable drama comes up, dealing with it is a piece of cake.
Good luck, and hit me up in the comments section below! Let’s talk about this more. If you enjoyed the post, please share it with your friends! Let’s get more people involved in improving their lives!
Here’s a video blog I did on the topic of setting boundaries: