Lesson 4: Understanding Value

by Kevin

understanding value kingpin socialIf relationships are all based of an exchange of value, then understanding the types of values we exchange is essential for understanding the types of relationships we ultimately create.

Since we are never taught how to build relationships or taught what types of values relationships are based upon, most people attempt to build relationships without any type of idea on the direction it is going or how to progress the relationship in a positive direction.

Here’s the video for Lesson 4. Check it out and let me know what you think in the comment section below.

A relationship based off of short-term value will only last a short-term period of time, while a relationship based off of long term value will last a long term period of time.

Short-term value = Short-term relationship
Long-term value = Long-term relationship

When looking at the best ways to create value in a relationship, we can draw parallels to the best ways to create wealth (another form of value). Long-term investing and other similar types of investments are far more likely to create significant value than short-term investing. Obviously you have to be smart in the ways you invest but this parallel is also very relevant to the investment of time and energy into relationships.

If mathematics is an exchange of numerical value, then what exchanges of values are relationships with people based off of?

To answer this question we have to understand that there are two fundamental concepts upon which value can be defined as a person. These are the fundamentals that need to be understood when building relationships with people. These two foundational concepts can be seen as the “axioms” or starting points of this logical system.

  1. Human Need – What people need they will value
  2. External needs – Needs that we can perceive, interact with, quantify, consume. (Examples: food, shelter, water, sleep, resources, health, etc.)

    Internal needs – Needs that we cannot perceive, cannot interact with, and cannot quantify. (Examples: self esteem, confidence, creativity, respect, trust, morality, etc.)

  3. Emotion – Humans beings are emotional beings, in which case they will value the emotions they connect with most. (Examples: happy, sad, excited, etc.)

What we connect with in any relationship, as emotional beings, are the emotions that the relationship allow us to experience and connect with.

In the next videos we will go more into depth about the specific types of needs and how these exchanges create specific types of value. We will also be talking about how to achieve and develop more emotional awareness so that we can be in more control of the emotions we are exchanging in all of the relationships we ultimately develop.

P.S. If you want to accelerate your success in implementing these strategies and reaching your goals, we’d love to help you. Apply today to our Mentorship Coaching program and we’ll gladly offer you a free coaching session to see if we’re a good fit.

Next lessons:

Lesson 5: Human Needs
Lesson 6: Value vs. Relationships
Lesson 7: Coming soon…
Lesson 8: Coming soon…

About Kevin
One of the pioneers of the Social Dynamics movement and co-founder of Kingpin Social, Kevin is motivated to meet new people and eliminate his comfort zones. Kevin is also a passionate dancer, bboy and loves camping.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Arthur October 3, 2012 at 6:05 pm

The speed of the lesson is excellent now dude! Really looking forward the next lessons, and please make a lesson where (by an example) you give tips about perceiving the other’s perception of value.

Cam October 3, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Hey Arthur, thanks for commenting. I definitely agree that the video speed is way better! I definitely know the request you have will be one of the lessons coming up shortly. 🙂

Kevin October 5, 2012 at 10:12 am

Hey thanks for the comment Arthur! I’ll definitely incorporate perceptions of value in one of the next few videos on deck!! I’d love to hear any other concepts you’d like to hear about!

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