Lesson 1: The Importance of Relationships

by Kevin

kingpin social relationships“If I had 60 minutes to save the world, I would spend 55 of those minutes defining the problem, and 5 minute creating solutions to that problem”
– Albert Einstein

The world has a lot of problems, everybody knows it.

You can either stand on the sidelines or get involved and be proactive.

What do I see myself as? A problem solver. This is why I like this quote by Albert Einsten so much.

If part of being proactive comes down to being a problem solver, than problem solving is a concept worth thinking about…

… So how do you problem solve? What does the process to solving a problem look like?

I believe relationship building, alongside math, to be the two greatest problem solving tools that exist for problem solving. Can you think of anything greater? I also believe relationships and math to be one in the same and thus, the most important thing someone could ever learn – the ability to build relationships applies universally to everything.

I made a video explaining this concept further, check it out, or continue reading below.

Now back to Einstein, let’s define what a relationship is:

relationship (rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp)
— n
1. The state of being connected or related
2. Association by blood or marriage; kinship
3. The mutual dealings, connections, or feelings that exist between two parties, countries, people, etc: a business relationship
4. An emotional or sexual affair or liaison
5. Logic, maths another name for relation

Through our understanding of Social Dynamics we have defined relationships as an exchange of value. Where there is an exchange of value, there is a relationship. If you can love it, hate it, like it, dislike it, you can build a relationship with it. Can you think of anything this doesn’t apply to? I can’t, which is why I believe it’s the most important thing you can learn.

Relationships are an exchange of value. Everything is a relationship.

Let’s look at some examples:

Biology – Relationships between living things, the way they interact with each other. The human body is great example because it’s made up of many intricate systems that are all inter-related. The relationship/exchange between organs, systems, bodily functions, motor functions etc. The values that are exchanged in biological relationships are information, or nutrients, or energy.

Chemistry – Relationships between elements and compounds, actions and reactions etc. Looking at the breakdown of all things to the fundamental elements and compounds that all things are ultimately made up of.

Math – Relationships between numbers, equations, functions, geometric shapes, problems, etc. The values that you exchange in math are numerical.

People – Relationships between people are based off of an exchange of needs (survival) or emotion.

I believe the most important thing anyone could ever learn is the understanding and ability to build a relationship. If everything is a relationship, and the greatest problem solving tools also come down to relationships… why is it this is never taught? Why is it that there are no resources to learn such an amazing concept?

How do we learn how to build a relationship?

This is one of the questions my next videos will be based on.

So what do you think? What’s a relationship in your life you have trouble exchanging value with? Leave your comment below. Let’s continue this conversation.

Next lessons:

Lesson 2: Building Parallels Between Relationships
Lesson 3: Relationships = Math
Lesson 4: Understanding Value
Lesson 5: Human Needs
Lesson 6: Value vs. Relationships
Lesson 7: Coming soon…
Lesson 8: Coming soon…

About Kevin
One of the pioneers of the Social Dynamics movement and co-founder of Kingpin Social, Kevin is motivated to meet new people and eliminate his comfort zones. Kevin is also a passionate dancer, bboy and loves camping.

Follow me on Twitter · Visit my website →

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Mikey B September 6, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Boom! Loved the video Kevin. I don’t know if it was meant to be humorous or if it is just because I’m your roommate, but I laughed a lot loving every minute of it.

This is a great way that we are going to start communicating Social Dynamics through a medium that people will get a fundamental understanding of the theory. Love it that’s all I have to say!

Hash September 6, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Nice site man. Video is too slow though, speed it up a bit.

Kingston September 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Loved it man!
Thinking about relationships on such a basic level like Biology, Chemistry and math was a great way to open my mind up to what’s really going on in those areas. Not only are there relationships within each of those subjects, but there are even more interrelationships among them.
It’s kind of scary… they’re everywhere! lol

Cam September 6, 2012 at 5:41 pm

@ Hash – Thanks for the feedback. It’s definitely something Kevin will be working on. From talking with Kevin I know it’s been a learning curve to rock the videos, so any suggestions are appreciated.

@ Kingston – Thanks for commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m excited to finally be able to release our true content for everyone. It’s going to be great. 🙂

Karim Saleh September 7, 2012 at 11:25 am

Hey Kevin!

Loved the intro video, thought it was great and very effective at relaying the message that you were trying to get across! 🙂

I was thinking about something when you said that Human Relationships are based on Needs + Emotion. For the sake of discussion, let’s say that someone was in a relationship and provided security for another person in terms of their “needs” and provided them with emotions but they were using manipulative tactics in order to do that (lying, being deceptive, purposefully neglecting etc)…how does that fit into relationship building?

I assume that would be deemed partially an unhealthy relationship, but I’m curious to hear what you have to say about that!

Thanks for sharing this with us!

Kevin September 8, 2012 at 11:34 am

@ Mikey: Thanks bro! Much love dude.

@ Hash: Definitely slow! Working on that part. I can talk fast enough, its just matching that to the speed of my writing is the tough part.

@Kingston: Thanks for the feedback bro! Muchly appreciated. I am excited to see how these next videos turn out!

@ Karim: Thanks for comment bro! I think that all values in all relationships can be seen on a positive or negative level, values that will either build or destroy relationships. I think that manipulation and deception definitely do NOT fit into relationship building process.These are traits I would associate with the destroying of a relationship. I think ultimately the answer will lie with the individual as where it fits into that process. Asking the “why” in this case may give us insight into that. For example, why is it that person feels the need to communicate emotion or need through deception and/or manipulation? Perhaps a lack of genuine emotional communication within themselves or maybe they fear losing the relationship, or maybe the relationship is based on values that are mis-aligned. Whatever it may be, definitely the byproduct of an unhealthy relationship. Hope that gives you some insight! Thanks again for the comment bro!

Arthur September 17, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Interesting to see this great concepts coming through video lessons, looking forward for the others =p (by the way I agree with Hash, try to speed up a little bit)

Cam September 17, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Hey Arthur. Thanks for your feedback, this is definitely something Kevin is working on. Did you see the second Lesson? I felt like the speed was improved. You can see it here: http://kingpinlifestyle.com/lesson-2-building-parallels-between-relationships/

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