“What is the definition of willpower?” is the question that circulated my brain the other day. I was thinking about how complex our brains are when we begin to give ourselves access to them, and see beyond the ego. This means coming to terms with you’re not as good as you think you are, and that there’s always room for improvement.
I was talking with a man about my physical health today. I approached him in the gym to talk about his diet; he was extremely fit and looked like he knew what kinds of foods to eat if I was going to start taking my diet seriously.
Hansen: What are your goals, man?
Brian: Honestly dude, I just want to be healthy overall. I’ve had a big ego these past 3 years, only working out and never eating properly. I figure if I’m going to strive for health, I may as well go hard with my diet as well.
Hansen: That’s the biggest problem these days, too many people think they’re good enough already so they don’t bother asking for help. Truth is, we all need help. It’s like Martial Arts, as soon as you think you’re the man someone’s going to come along and show you better. You must be in a teachable mindset, once you become the student you’ll be able to reach the next level.
What is Willpower?
Why are some driven to succeed, and some are not? Why are some motivated to be something greater than their comfort zones, and some sabotage themselves from any chance at success? Habitually we create comfort zones for ourselves. We do this because it’s always easier to feel safe and secure, than to put yourself on the line and risk failure.
Why are there those who are driven, and those who are not? If willpower cannot be measured, why are some people naturally self – motivated, and some are comfortable with complacency?
Willpower cannot be scientifically measured, nor can motivation.
It is the driving force behind willpower, and motivation, decides whether or not you succeed or fail. There are those who refuse to leave their comfort zones, because they don’t want to risk failure. The ones that leave their comfort zones, though, are not risking failure. They are striving for success.
The Risking Failure Mentality
Our minds are our most powerful weapon, and our biggest enemy. The mind has the ability to create whatever we think about; we want more options so we read a blog. We want to go on a date, so we think about calling a girl. We want Tim Horton’s, so we think about it then act out the thoughts inside of our mind. Whatever we think about, if we act, we bring about that thought.
Think about the idea of risking failure. If you think about risking failure, and you act, you will risk failure, and will likely fail. Whatever you think about, you bring about. Your words become your thoughts, your thoughts become your actions. There are those who are driven, and consistently risk failure.
The definition of driven; driven means that you’re willing to go outside of what is comfortable for you and work towards a purpose. In order to be driven you must have a purpose.
You can either be driven by fear, or motivated by love.
Being driven by fear means that you’re running from something you do not want to become.
Being driven by love means that you’re motivated by the person that you want to become.
They seem like the same thing, but they are polar opposites. The man driven by fear goes to the gym to get big, neglecting his health along the way. The gym is one part of health, there’s also yoga, meditation, eating properly, getting the right amount of sleep. The man driven by love has an ideal vision of what he would like to be, based on a healthy relationship with himself, and he’s motivated by working towards that vision.
Being driven by fear means that your mind exists in the past, unable to get over a circumstance in your life that causes you to fear reverting to an old state. Examples of this would be the fat kid converted to the steroid – body builder, driven by the fear of becoming fat again. This man is extremely driven, but the fact that he hasn’t taken his relationship with himself into consideration means that he’s driven by fear.
Relating to relationships; about the people you know that get into relationships one after the other. These people are driven by the fear of being alone. These people may have healthy relationships, but in the end they will sabotage any potential they have at a chance for love because they are not motivated by love, but driven by fear.
The man driven by fear works at a job he doesn’t like to make the money he needs to survive; afraid that if he leaves his job he won’t be able to make ends meet. The man driven by love spends his whole life finding a way to spend his time on the things he’s passionate about; whether or not it makes it money.
The smart man driven by love spends his life finding a way that he can make ends meet while expressing his passion, and spending time doing the things that he loves to do.
The Striving for Success Mentality
Comfort zones are safe, and secure. They are also complacent, and mediocre.
Everything that you want in life is outside of your comfort zone, otherwise you would already have it. Comfort zones are hard to “destroy” because truth is, you can never “destroy” all of your comfort zones. All you can do is live in the present moment, realize your comfort zone by the unsettling feeling in your stomach, leave them for a moment, and experience the feeling. The feeling that you have when you leave your comfort zone will register in your mind, and you will either associate a positive feeling with leaving your comfort zones, or a negative feeling.
If you leave your comfort zone and you’re in a Risking Failure mindset, the feeling you have afterward will be negative (unless you achieve success). This is outcome dependency; you’re only happy if you get the results that you’re looking for instantly. This ties in with Short Term Pleasure = Long Term Pain. In the moment, risking failure seems like the right option while you’re leaving your comfort zone, however Risking Failure is only good when you achieve success.
Striving for Success, on the other hand, is a continuously winning mindset. When you are striving for success, you can only succeed. Failure is not failure, failure is a lesson that will take you that much closer to success. Striving for success means that you’re process dependant.
When you leave your comfort zone, striving for success, you understand that every failure along the way simply means that you weren’t ready for the success that you want to achieve. The smart individual learns the lesson of their failure, and moves forward towards success becoming more aware of how to get what they want when they leave their comfort zones.
If Thomas Edison had a Risking Failure mindset when he attempted to invent the light bulb, do you think he would have tried 1000 times? Thomas Edison was striving for success, learning a lesson each time he came to an obstacle, making him that much closer to the vision, the thought that he had in his mind, of creating light with a simple flick of the finger.
The light bulb was a thought in one mans mind, that he took with a Striving for Success mentality and implemented into one of the biggest ideas this world has ever seen. When you’re striving for success, you’re driven by love. You’re no longer destroying your comfort zones, you’re unleashing your potential.
If you’re driven by fear, you can still develop skill sets. You can be interested in a skill set, invest in a skill set, work on the process of developing it, get the value out of it, but you will be unable to achieve passion.
Passion = Love, over a long period of time. The reason for my self – destructive tendencies over the course of the past 20 years of my life, is that I was consistently driven by fear. I was running from someone who I was afraid of becoming, instead of running towards someone that I wanted to become. Now that I’ve shifted my focus, my direction, I’ve leveled up past the self – sabotage that I caused myself for 20 years.
The only difference, now, is that I’m driven by love. Because I’m motivated by love, I’m able to get the value and make Social Dynamics my passion. Social Dynamics has changed my life, from negative to positive. Social Dynamics has changed my Self – View, from Hate to Love. Social Dynamics will change the world, by showing the world love.
Ask yourself; are you driven by fear, or motivated by love?