So you already met a great girl, but you want to learn how to communicate more effectively to help strengthen your networking skills and expand your social circle. Or maybe you want to learn how to bring more value to the relationships you already have in your life: ie: have a super stellar relationship with your girlfriend, your mom, or your boss. You are in the right place! Learning Social Dynamics will help you learn the necessary tools to help make your relationships stronger and teach you to not only maintain those relationships but to also forge new ties to help you grow in all facets of your life.
There’s only one thing: you’re not sure how she will react when you tell her that you will be doing a Bootcamp all weekend where you go out and socialize with strangers (or friends you haven’t met yet) all over the city. Don’t fret! I’m here to break it down for you so you can effectively communicate it to your girl so she feels comfortable and excited for you during this process.
The 3 Key Ingredients
Be Authentic: Girls are insanely intuitive. We can pretty much mind-read, we are magical creatures who have the gift to see right through bullshit, so be authentic with your conversation. If you are real with her and let her know why you are doing the Bootcamp she will most likely be encouraging; if you are coming from a place of growth and networking. Of course your girlfriend won’t be psyched if you say, “I want to learn how to talk to girls.”
Education:Tell her what Social Dynamics is and give her the low-down on what your weekend will look like. It’s not one program for all, it’s specifically designed around you. So if you are a guy in a relationship who wants to network more than the program will be specifically designed for that purpose. Explain to her the benefits of learning how to properly build long-lasting relationships and the value it will bring to the relationship you already have. Ultimately, educate her on Social Dynamics so that she can better understand what it is and why you want to participate in a program.
You can also encourage her to read my article “Social Dynamics: No Girls Allowed!” so she can get the low-down from a female perspective. This will also give her the opportunity to get involved with Social Dynamics, thus encouraging her to build a better relationship with herself, you and every one else in her life. We are a product of our environment and if your girlfriend is practicing Social Dynamics this is one more person (one who is obviously involved in your daily life) who will keep you accountable to your goals and encourage you to step out of your comfort zone.
Open Communication: The Kingpin Social Crew is super open and considerate with your questions and concerns and that also goes for your spouse or girlfriends concerns. So let her know that she can sit down with any one of us to address those questions or to learn more about Kingpin Social and the people behind it. It’s a great opportunity for her to feel it out and ask questions in person (or Skype if you don’t live here locally). As I said, women are intuitive and are guided by emotion. If she meets with the Team and leaves feeling good than she is more likely to give that support you need and it also may change her life in a positive way as well. It’s a win-win situation!
Insecurity vs. Bad Communication
There are only two outcomes to this conversation; either she supports you or she doesn’t. It’s easy enough to blame her for not being supportive or confused as to why you want to do a program when you haven’t effectively communicated what it is you are doing. So make sure that when you go in the conversation you have fully understood that you are half responsible for the outcome. You will need to fully be prepared that you may be the reason that she isn’t getting it and that it’s not her. If she doesn’t get it; don’t get angry or defensive. You need to ask specific questions to find where the holes are in order to understand what may have been miscommunicated or not fully understood.
However, there is the possibility that your partner won’t support you due to a low sense of self-esteem or insecurities. If you have been dating long enough you would already have a sense of whether or not she is fully secure with herself and if she gets threatened easily. If you are not sure here are a few ‘symptoms’ of low-self esteem:
- Doesn’t accept compliments well
- Walks with her head down
- Apologizes and feels guilty often
- Gets frustrated, impatient, and angry often
- Uses negative or hopeless language
- Takes things very personally
Unfortunately when it comes to low-self esteem there isn’t much you can do to help her. This is something she needs to work on herself and it’s up to you whether or not you want to be there to help her through it. You can’t be the crutch but you can be there to encourage her to do more things on her own to help build her sense of power, passion, and self. Girls who are very insecure will often spend a lot of time with their partners to avoid their own life since they are unhappy with it. Once you start living your own life and start to change in a positive way, this can either be very threatening and hard for a girl who is insecure as she depends on you and your life or it can be very encouraging for her to do the same. It all depends on the girl and whether or not she wants to change or grow.
Remember that you are the product of your environment. Act accordingly and remember that no one is worth sacrificing your happiness and growth for. It’s your life and you deserve to live it passionately and to go after the things you want in life regardless of your marital status. After all relationships are about sharing experiences, it’s not about having ONE life and doing everything together. It’s about having your own lives, passions, and coming together to share it with one another. Love does not take away, it is not possessive or fearful, it only encourages, sets you free and full of love.
Lastly, give her the benefit of the doubt. You won’t know the outcome of the conversation until you have had it. So don’t make any assumptions or create a story behind what you think her reaction will be. Don’t procrastinate it or keep it from her; that’s just shady and will make her feel uncomfortable since you were hiding it from her. Have all the information you need so you can properly educate her on Social Dynamics and about your super stellar weekend that will change your life in a positive way. Follow these steps and you will do great! 🙂
In light and love,