You ever walk down the street in a daze? The people around you seem to pass in a blur; the steps you take seem to be without number as your mind wanders. With your thought patterns occupied by life’s problems you’re unable to notice the beautiful world we live in today.
Then you become aware of what you’re doing. You catch yourself in a daze and you tell yourself you’re going to break out of it. You try to talk to people, you try to approach a woman but you’re afraid of what she’ll think of you. You’re afraid of not only what SHE’LL think of you, but what people that are watching will afraid of you.
This is more of an entry explaining the biggest realization of my life to date. The article entails details of a day I had this past month and I hope the lessons engrained within the post I wrote give you the same epiphany it gave me. The world is ours, freedom is ours, it’s up to us to take it.
Wow. I feel amazing. On top of the world.
This is the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life.
I JUST HAD THE BIGGEST REALIZATION OF MY LIFE.
I am free. I am fucking free. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want, to whomever I want. I am fucking free.
This day started out really shitty. I woke up still drunk from last night, wow. What a shitshow. I honestly don’t remember doing my cashout. I was hammered. I left my phone at the Mansion, and I was not happy when I woke up this morning and realized it was missing.
I snuck Cameron’s car this morning to go and hopelessly search for my phone. I knew it was gone before I left the house. Anything I leave at that night – club gets swallowed by its customers. Oh well. I wanted to go aimlessly search anyways, and if it wasn’t there, I wanted to endlessly cry. My number one tool? MY PHONE! If I lost it? I LOST EVERY NUMBER I’VE GOTTEN IN THE PAST 7 MONTHS!
I drive to the Mansion with the radio playing Top 40, the volume kept to a minimum. The drive was quiet, I was thinking a lot, I hate the idea that I have to buy a new phone. I honestly don’t remember the drive to Mansion. I was mindlessly driving. On the plus side, it’s really nice outside.
I get out of the car and walk up to the door at Mansion. I happen to notice that Downtown Calgary is BUZZING! This is the first time I’ve EVER been to the Core of Downtown Calgary in the middle of the day. It was insane! I think it’s the fact that all of the businesses are on lunch break (it’s 12:00) but nonetheless. DAY GAME PRACTICE FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK IN THE DAY! Awww yeah.
I was really not looking forward to walking into the Mansion. I KNEW the phone wasn’t going to be behind my bar before I even went and looked. Still, I insisted on at least giving myself the chance to find it. I walked in the back door, quickly introduced myself to the day girl and continued on my stride to my bar. “PLEASE BE THERE, PHONE!”
I look behind the till… nothing. I check behind the computer monitor… nothing. I check by the bottles… nothing. FUCK!!
“I’ll call it!”
I go to the front desk and call my phone to see if I can hear it buzzing. Of course I can’t. It’s gone. Fuck.
Sitting there at the front desk, I was a sad black guy. I contemplated my day and the things I had to do. I NOW had to get a new phone, which is gay. I have to go to work at Jamesons, which is gay, I’m tired. I made little money last night, which is gay.
I decide the best idea would be to go to Starbucks, grab a frappachino and forget about my issues. As I head to the back and out the door, the lady that I introduced myself is walking towards me with a smile on her face and a phone in her outstretched hand.
“You left it in your float!”
“I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!”
Alright, alright. I know what you’re thinking. “Brian, you’re an a- hole. I read this far to realize you feel this awesome because you found your phone?”
I’m driving into Starbucks and I turn the corner past a smoking hot brunette. She’s waiting to turn onto the road and she has her car a bit too far forward, making it hard for me to turn into the parking lot. My window is down, so is hers. As I turn into the parking lot I’m holding eye contact clearly checking her out. She opens ME and says “Sooorrrry for my car being so far out!” My music is BUMPING and I can’t hear her, so I turn it down.
Brian: What was that?
Girl: I was just saying sorry for pulling too far forward!
Brian: It’s okay. You’re cute as fuck!
Girl: haha thannnk you!
This is all happening while we’re driving. I’ve slowed down but she’s trying to turn and sees an opening. I break eye contact because I’m a nervous nelly and continue on my venture through the Starbucks drive through, happy that I just did that. I took a second to look at my phone and saw a text from Mikey B, my innovative inspiration.
“Hey meng. Wish I could rock Tuesdays but I’m working. This is a non bitching out text messag, within the next 60 minutes I’m going to approach a girl.
Yeahya! This I think is the biggest breakthrough for me. Self Validation. It was that simple!
You guys are fucking genious!”
I read the texts and laugh. I text him back.
“Hahaha I love you man. Just got my phone back wooooooooooooo!!!!”
IT’S NOT THE REASON I’M SO HAPPY THOUGH!!
I continue on my trek through the Starbucks drive thru, ordering a vanilla bean frappachino, a venti caramel macchiado, a piece of banana bread and an English muffin. Mmmmmm. Delicious food. As I approach the drive through window, I begin to sing and dance to Brittany Spears. No one can see me at this point; I’m at a point where only the guy in the car behind me can see me. I avoid looking at my mirror so I don’t see his reaction to my crazy antics.
I approach the drive thru window happy as fuck. I’m smiling, positive, conversating with the drive thru attendant. I hand the man my change for the drinks and beverages and he closes the window. I begin to dance and sing to Brittany Spears in Cam’s car. I can’t help it! The music’s loud and I’m into it, 100%. I notice the Starbucks employees can see me, and they probably think I’m crazy. I avoid eye contact so I don’t see their reactions to my crazy antics.
The drive thru attendant hands me my delicious beverages and food items and I tell him he’s “the f**king man!” He’s smiling as I drive off and I know I just brightened that dude’s day.
I can’t begin to explain what came over me… but after I drove out of that Starbucks parking lot I felt on top of the world. I was yelling the song on the radio, I rolled the windows down so EVERYONE could hear me, I was yelling at people as I was driving by them. I FUCKING LOVED IT!
MY EPIPHANY CAME AT A RED LIGHT
I was stopped and there was a family in the truck right next to me. I usually keep to myself while I’m driving alone. I find it awesome to yell and scream at people when I’m in the vehicle with my friends because we can all laugh about it; when I’m alone there’s no one around to laugh with me. Then I read Mikey’s text. “Self Validation.”
I usually DON’T do it when I’m alone because I’m AFRAID OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME.
Today… I realized that IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHAT ANYONE THINKS ABOUT ME!
I’m sitting at a red light. I was yelling and screaming at people while driving, but now I’m stopped. I can’t drive off, people are going to be crossing the street and watch me in my lonesome, driving a car ALONE and yelling at people while chair dancing. It is VERY likely that people are going to look at me and go “That dude is fucking crazy.”
BUT I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!!
I’m stopped at a red light. I catch my arms swinging at 90 degrees, shoulder to hip. I catch my throat projecting my voice as loud as it can to the song on the radio. I feel my eyes shift to the driver beside me as I dance and sing the Top 40 that’s blaring in my vehicle with my windows rolled down.
I don’t give a FUCK what people think! People can look at me ALL they want and go “That dude is fucking crazy.” Because I am! I am fucking crazy. And I don’t care. I’m crazy, I’m extroverted, I’m outgoing, I’m passionate, I love the world, I love my life and EVERYONE I COME IN CONTACT WITH IS GOING TO KNOW. If you don’t want to know, I don’t give a fuck! Walk away! THIS IS WHO I AM, AND I’M GOING TO SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD.
Are YOU afraid of what people think of you? When you see two people talking and looking in your direction, is there a thought that pings you that says ”I think they’re talking about me.” This is the BIGGEST phenomenon that infects people of today’s world. That’s why it’s so cool to meet someone who doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks of them and they share their personality with the world, regardless of outside influence. It’s cool, because it’s so RARE.
Do something crazy. Do a dance walk the next time you walk down the street with your headphones plugged in. Drive by compliment someone the next time you’re in your car. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT ANYONE THINKS ABOUT YOU. As soon as you become AWARE of this, you can take action to releasing that pent up energy you keep inside to save your ego. They’re just another human being living their life; your impact will have little or no effect on them if you walk by them without saying a word. Once you come into YOUR freedom, you will influence others around you to do the same WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. You’re reading this not only for yourself, but for everyone that you come into contact with every day of your life. Part of being a POSITIVE INFLUENCE on the world is giving yourself the chance to be an influence in the first place. Let loose, realize your freedom and then use it to positively influence the world. Be more than average, give yourself the chance to be positive and break free from “the trance”; the underrated disease which infects the masses to the largest degree. Break free from average, choose to move upwards by being positive and by YOUR PRESENCE ALONE, influence others to do the same. Be the change you wish to see in the world.