Facing Yourself: Developing Self Worth

by Brian

Driving home from work, you start to mentally plan your evening. It’s Friday Night, you’re single and ready to mingle!

This whole “meeting people” thing is still fresh to you though. You like the idea, but you don’t know what to expect. Instead of excitement you feel nervousness in your stomach when thinking about being out at the bar. “I’d like to go out and meet new people tonight, but I’m tired anyways.” You decide to stay inside with your single self, wasting away your night playing video games until 3 in the morning. Another Friday Night rolls by without creating more options for yourself.

“The ego is interested in maintaining your current emotional state, perceived by the environment.”

This life is tough. There are things that need to get done, fears that need to be faced and comfort zones that need to be destroyed on the road to self development. The hardest part is not the fight with your environment, and breaking free from it. It’s not the waking up early every morning, going to a job you hate. The hardest part of self development isn’t even the hangover from the bar the previous night.

The single hardest battle you will have on the road to self development is the battle within yourself.

“The only enemy is an internal one.”

The first step to recovery is acceptance, and acceptance comes from bypassing ignorance. This is the hardest stage for most people, because why should they have to fix a problem when they could just deny that they have it in the first place?

Let’s say that you accept the fact that you have naturally lazy habits. The next step is to design an action plan that says “this is how I’m going to destroy my lazy habits,” then each and every single day wake up and take action. Destroying bad habits created by the content ego is a process, and takes consistent action. The long term benefits of the process of betterment, however, are worth it.

A healthy, long lasting, internal sense of self worth.

The longer one lives in ignorance, the longer one mistakes contentment for bliss. Bliss is only bliss because the ignorant choose to remain unawakened to long – term happiness. Long – term happiness comes from internal validation.

What is Internal Validation?

Internal Validation is feeling good from the inside. Our brains are much smarter than we realize, in order to feel good from the inside out we need to acknowledge all of our problems consciously, and make the decision to work them. See, if you’re lazy, whether or not you choose to consciously acknowledge it, your subconscious mind knows that you’re lazy. Denial isn’t bad for relationships, denial’s bad because you’re lying to yourself. You already knew that, though.

How can one be happy from the core, knowing that they’re lying to themselves?

The worst part about ignorance to internal issues is that if one doesn’t feel good from the core, they will seek external validation. They will look to other people to fill the hole in themselves, they’ll look for other people to make them feel good in order to maintain their sense of self worth. When Self – Worth is derived from the environment, it is never stable, for the external environment is shifty and un – reliable. Not only this, but people in your external environment can sense if you’re seeking validation from them, and they will resent you for it.

“Hey guys! Check out my new car. Pretty sick, hey?”

One must feel good from the core, internally validated, by maintaining personal integrity. Acknowledge the issues that hold you back in terms of personal development, and design a daily action plan to take care of those issues. It is only when one becomes awakened to the limitations of the ego, that one is able to break free from the self – induced shackles. Are you naturally lazy? Do you have a problem with people getting too close to you? Are you afraid of meeting new people? Do you think you’re already “good enough?” Are you a person who chooses to only see the negative? Acknowledge these internal issues, and take action towards them.

Your brain already knows if you’re lying to yourself. Choose to consciously see your problems and work on them, and get that sense of internal self – worth that you’ve been looking for.

**More on the Ego in Up to This Point, by Kingpin Social! Released at the end of September. If you want to receive YOUR copy, sign up for our newsletter! Enter your email for access to the member’s side of this information <3 … oh yeah. It doesn’t cost you a thing 😉 **

About Brian
Brian is a firm believer in living in the present. Brian lives his life by the philosophy “Act for the future, not because of the past.” He is a passionate writer, a sober socialite and aspires to be a positive influence to everyone he interacts with. Read more about Brian here.

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