Who Else Wants Authenticity?

by Cam

I woke up this morning still a little bit pissed off, so I thought I’d get it out here for everybody.

SO WHAT IS IT THAT PISSED ME OFF?

Last night I came home from a pretty busy day. I was excited to be home; where I could cook dinner and relax over a bowl of shisha. As usual I log on Facebook and within 2 or 3 minutes it’s blowing up with a few guys asking for advice. Normally this wouldn’t be a big deal to me at all because it’s common – even something I recommend to each guy I teach. Don’t get me wrong, that wasn’t what pissed me off. What pissed me off was the type of advice they were looking for.

One question was this:

“Hey Cam, quick advice needed. I’m playing 20 questions with this girl and she asked me my biggest regret, what do I do?”

For some reason I was instantly annoyed about this. He’s clearly over-thinking this like CRAZY and just needs to chill the fuck out and be real. If he doesn’t want to share intimate details with this girl yet, he could give her an answer like: “I wish I studied harder in school.” It’s simple, common, and leaves more to be desired, but at the same time gives her enough to be satisfied. She doesn’t feel like you’ve just dodged her question.

After explaining this, he says he responded: “Not seeing the sunset tonight.”

Huh?

Of course now the girl is going to feel like he’s dodging the question and she will dig for more. Instead of moving on towards a better conversation, he’s holding it back, and on one level even annoying the girl who’s trying to get to know him, just to have her questions avoided (questions that aren’t even that serious, unlike say “how many people have you slept with?”)

How annoying is it to be trying to get to know someone just to come up to a brick wall?

Ugh.

So what I want to mention in this post is to stop over-thinking your conversations with the female population and when in doubt, just BE REAL. Isn’t that better anyways? Isn’t that a necessary ingredient to form any type of relationship? Being real?

Mmmmmm.

Going forward, the next time you find yourself taking a step back and thinking about what you should respond, why don’t you just respond what your gut is telling you to do and go from there. Am I saying you should be an open book? No. There’s an appropriate time for that. Am I saying you should be straight up the next time you meet a girl and she asks you how old you are in the first 2 minutes of your interaction? Probably not. There are way too many false judgements based on age.

But should you be real and straight up when a girl is legitimately trying to get to know you, in a non-judgmental type of way? Absolutely.

What is the difference between this and the examples I’ve used in the previous paragraph? She’s trying to get to know you in a non-judgmental way. Move forward not backwards.

Doing the right thing can never be the wrong thing. Being 100% authentic is never the wrong thing.

About Cam
Cam Adair is a Motivational Speaker who dares you to live a life you're proud of. Watch his TEDx talks on Escaping Video Game Addiction and The Surprising Truth About Rejection. Follow him on Instagram. He is the Founder of Game Quitters, a support community for those who struggle with a gaming problem.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

gunder June 21, 2011 at 7:32 am

cool

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