A few days ago I flew to Orlando for the speech, and although I was happy with how it went, the process leading up to the talk was challenging for me. I had a lot of trouble figuring out what I wanted to talk about, anxiety and self-doubt.
Here are 3 lessons I learned from the experience:
- Lean on your friends who believe in you.
- Use the “Yes. Fuck!” technique.
- It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Invest in your relationships.
A few days before the speech I was really struggling to figure out what to say. I reached out to one friend who said I was in over my head. Ok, not what I needed. The next day I spent a few hours on the phone with three different friends who would help me in different ways, but each reminded me that I could do it. Reaching out for help was the best decision I could have made.
When I got the call asking me if I was interested in speaking in Orlando, I said yes immediately, then I hung up the phone. As soon as I hung up, I said fuck out loud. This is the Yes. Fuck! technique. How it works is you say yes to make the commitment, and then you get to say fuck when you realize you have to go through with it. Knowing I was 100% committed to showing up on stage forced me to push through, especially in times when I was anxious about it. If I would have waited for a few days to commit, I would have never made it.
The opportunity for the speech came from Alexi Panos’ podcast I was interviewed on. A friend of mine had listened to the podcast and it so happened that she was also in charge of the stage at the event. Both the podcast interview and the speech came from relationships I’ve had the opportunity to invest in.
Special thanks to Jessica for inviting me to Orlando, Cara, Dan and Priscilla for their insights into the speech, and Ginger for dealing with my craziness beforehand.