Physical Address
304 North Cardinal St.
Dorchester Center, MA 02124
My whole life I grew up with a low self – esteem. Raised in a family without a father left me asking questions and getting no answers. I spent my elementary life taking out my anger on fellow students as a big bully; I spent my Junior High year overweight and in a negative emotional state. High School brought a bit of joy to my life as I found a passion… but after injury took that passion away from me I returned to my docile emotional state. I spent a year wallowing in my sorrow; smoking weed to get high and numb my negative perspective.
It’s been over a year since I started my self – development journey. At 18 years old my intentions were flawed but my motivation was strong. I wanted to grow bigger than I’d ever imagined. My sights were set on the sky. I was determined to change.
I count myself to be a lucky man. To have found this path of Social Dynamics that I found at such a young age allowed me to grow at an exponential rate. In one year I’ve made more of a life transformation than I could have ever imagined. People looking from the outside could say that I always had it; but they never knew what went on inside. I think the internal side of life is what drives the external side. My confidence was there… my self esteem kept me from pursing my passions.
I felt like I didn’t deserve to.
I believe that the number one cause of failed dreams is a failed belief in the ability to accomplish them. Our minds are the most powerful tool we’ve been given. The ability to calculate potential outcomes based on personal experience and fact is astounding. I believe that our minds naturally tend to calculate more negative outcomes than positive ones.
Imagine if we were able to plan out as much of our dream as we do our failure? How many times have you stepped back from taking a risk because of the fear of failure. How many times have you stepped up to the plate and taken the risk; knowing of the potential failure but stepping up anyways? Imagine if our mind naturally calculated the potential positive outcomes as much as it calculated the potential negative outcomes.
Ready, Fire, Aim
Cam Adair offered me a place to live in Downtown just over a year ago. I just moved into my new house with 3 roommates and committed to a 12 month lease. Cam was asking me to break that lease and move Downtown. I didn’t have alot of money and I didn’t own alot of things.
The potential negative outcomes? My friends might have hated me for moving out before 12 months. I didn’t have the money to move out, I just moved into this house. I had no relationship with Cam so what if it went bad? Not only that but I was extremely scared that I might fail.
The potential positive outcomes? I’d become a part of a dream that I’d live in for the rest of my life. I had no idea what that dream would be, but I wanted to be a part of it.
I believe self – esteem to be the cause of our perspective. A low – self esteem has the probability of using the mind to calculate potential negative outcomes where as a high self – esteem has a tendency to calculate the potential positive outcomes. The one problem with the time that the mind takes to think is this: the time that you spend speculating is time that someone else is spending acting.
I believe that in life you must do as much preparation as possible in the little amount of time that you have and then you have to take action. Take a risk. I think back to my decision on that day when I sent Cam the “Yes” message and wonder where my life would be if I hadn’t chosen to grow. I told him I’d move in with him a couple of weeks after he had sent me the invite. How would I get the money? What would my friends think? What if I fail? It didn’t matter.
Growth is the only option. Progress is the only option. Where would my student’s lives be if I hadn’t chosen to grow? Every second you spend speculating the potential negative outcomes takes away from not only your growth but everyone else’s around you. Your growth influences everyone you come in contact with.
This life is too short. You can spend your time speculating or your can spend your time participating. I believe that to accomplish any of your goals you need to get as ready as you possibly can in the shortest amount of time and then jump in feet first. You can stand at the top of the cliff all you want; you’ll never know how cold it is until you jump. You can think about how cold it is and spend your time worrying about falling off the cliff, jumping wrong, landing in a wierd position… OR you can go to the bottom of the cliff, make sure the water’s deep enough to jump, and jump. The exhilaration comes from destroying comfort zones not speculating them.
Take a risk. Start with a small cliff and jump off. Build the right momentum and move up to the bigger cliffs. Stop thinking about how to get what you want and start acting to get the things that you want out of reality. Time flies and the moments that you have are precious. Every moment you waste on speculation is a moment that someone else is spending acting towards the things that you want out of reality.
Thanks for this dope article Brian,
Personally, I would say when I’m thinking I seem to make an external decision. I feel that your heart gives you what it gets. when i go by feelings I seem to make internal move!. Hope that made sense
Thanks again brian
Hey Mohamed. Thanks for dropping by and commenting. I couldn’t agree more. This is a great article. 🙂
“I believe that our minds naturally tend to calculate more negative outcomes than positive ones”
Precisely. It’s incredible how one small negative thought can snowball and grind all your hard earned momentum to a halt.
I agree Dan. Negative energy is infectious.
Thanks for commenting Mohamed! Anytime my friend. Thank you for the support 🙂
Hi Brian
Thanks for inviting me to look at your website. I think what you guys do is terrific. I find this article very inspiring.
Yr front-door friend
Brian
Hey Brian,
Thanks for commenting, and thank you for the support! Feel free to swing by the Kingpin house in 2 Sundays from now. I think you’ll enjoy the crowd 🙂
Sick post B! I got a lot out of this.
Hey Brian Smith! Thanks for commenting. I’m happy to hear you enjoyed the post by Brian. Have you had a chance to check out any of the other posts? We would love to hear your feedback on them too.
Hi Cam
Yes, I looked at the Mikey B Show–Tips on Being a Good Wingman. This is a super format. The combination of the direct-to-camera dialogue with the overlay of text makes for really strong messaging. Mikey and Brian are both really great on camera, and they strike a really nice balance between getting the prepared linear message across with establishing at the same time a friendly, casual, spontaneous feeling. Very real. Well done guys!
Brian S.
Brian! Appreciate the continued love and support. I know Mikey B has worked hard on refining his approach to the show. Your feedback is invaluable.
Can you send me a message with your email? My email is brian@kingpinsocial.com
Yo Brian thanks a lot for the feedback! We are always working on improving our relationships with everything including our articles and videos. Keep the feedback coming broheme!
“One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” – Neil Armstrong.
Think that would describe the best how it would be if we’d all be willing and able to do it.
Awesome post Brian (:
Sometimes a push from a friend, or better yet bodacious lady friend, can help me launch off metaphorical cliffs. In absence in the physical sense of ‘push’, I find the inspirational words of others as a powerful influence.
“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given then to explore the power they have to change it.
Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion.
Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare.
Impossible is potential.
Impossible is temporary.
Impossible is nothing.” – Muhammad Ali
“Twenty years from now you’ll be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Dream. Explore. Discover.” – Mark Twain
Thought provoking article, Brian. Thanks
Raph – I agree! It’s easier said than done. Awareness is the first step. Thanks for the comment!
Pete – The Muhammad Ali quote is money. I like that quote in particular because that’s the mindset of a man who did extraordinary things.
What are some other quotes that inspire you? One of my favorite: “Imagination is the preview of what is to come.” – Albert Eienstein
I see your Albert Einstein quote with “Only those who will risk going too far can possibility find out how far one can go.” – T.S. Eliot and raise you “Productiveness is your acceptance of morality, your recognition of the fact that you choose to live – that productive work is the process by which man’s consciousness controls his existence, a constant process of acquiring knowledge and shaping matter to fit one’s purpose, of translating an idea into physical form, of remarking the earth in the image of one’s values – that work is creative work if done by a thinking mind.” – John Galt, Atlas Shrugged
What else do you have?
Both of those quotes are money! I haven’t read Atlas Shrugged but I heard it’s a crazy book.
“Your perception is not shaped by reality. It is your reality that is shaped by your perception.”